


She's Breathing

by burningupasun



Series: She's Breathing [1]
Category: The Walking Dead (TV)
Genre: F/M, Past Sexual Assault
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-12-02
Updated: 2015-01-19
Packaged: 2018-02-27 20:09:36
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 31
Words: 204,664
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2704997
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/burningupasun/pseuds/burningupasun
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Canon up until the events of "Coda" (5x08). An alternate ending where Beth does not die, and she and Daryl get to have their reunion.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The Strongest Girl He Knew

**Author's Note:**

> This was just written as a reaction to the S5 MSF. The plan is for it to be a multi-chapter fic, continuing on past this episode, but I don't know how long. I haven't planned that much yet, but it will probably alternate perspectives. This one is from Daryl's. I just wanted to write it the way it could have (and should have) happened. I hope everyone appreciates this, I haven't written real fic in a long time.
> 
> Please note: I did some googling about head wounds. I thought about making it a survivable shot through her head, but I didn't want to get the medical details wrong, so I went with a non-brain shot instead.

Daryl’s reaction was entirely instinctive. He heard the sound of the gun, he saw the red splash of blood across her sunny blond hair, and before he even realized what was happening his gun was in the air. He didn’t see the look of shock on the woman’s face or notice whatever words she was mouthing at him. Everything inside of him was red hot anger and rage, covering a throbbing sense of pain and anguish, all wrapped up in a thread of pure cold. He shot, watching but not really seeing the woman’s head snap back or her body fall to the ground. He noticed but didn’t really feel the grip of Carol’s hand on his shoulder. He heard but didn’t really listen to the sound of Rick’s voice and his hollow useless words.

Daryl pulled free from Carol’s hand and dropped to his knees with one word on his lips: “ _Beth_.”

It wasn’t until he began to scoop her up into his arms that he realized. She was _breathing_. He had her cradled to his chest and in the process he leaned over her and with his ear so close to her lips he heard the soft intake of breath and felt the warm rush of it against his cheek as she exhaled. _She was breathing._

The thought hit him in a fierce rush that swamped over the anger and anguish and pain. His first whisper was low and almost inaudible: “She’s breathin’.” But then he rose to his feet with her cradled in his arms and a tiny bit of hope unfurled inside of him as he cried out gruffly and raggedly, “She’s _breathin_ ’!” 

Everything happened in a rush after that, and the memories only came in spurts. The one thing that remained true throughout all of it was that Daryl Dixon stuck by Beth’s side. The Doctor (he couldn’t bring himself to care about his name, let alone remember it) had hesitated only a moment before offering to help, and the cops had parted like a placid sea before the determination on Daryl’s face as he followed after him with Beth in his arms. He didn’t even know what he’d have done if they tried to stop him. If he could have killed them without further harming the innocent girl in his arms, he probably would have, but thankfully it didn’t come to that. 

One moment she was held against his chest, and then the next she was laying in hospital bed. He remembered how pale she looked, how stark the blood looked against her skin, how her blond hair splayed across the pillow like a halo. Like she were an angel. He had a flash of a time where he’d looked at her and thought a similar thing. They’d been in the woods, early in the morning the day after leaving that burning shack behind. She’d looked at him all half-asleep with a hazy little smile on her face, and the sun had peeked through the trees just behind her and suddenly her hair was glowing like sunlight itself in a halo around her head. And he’d thought to himself that she looked like an angel, which was pretty damn poetic for him, but fitting for a girl like Beth Greene, all full of hope. 

Now he was the one who carried that hope inside of him, burning like a tiny little flame deep in his heart. He held her hand as he stood by the bed, refusing to let it go as the Doctor began to examine her wound. Daryl knew, rationally, that he would probably still lose her. She might be hanging on, but if she’d been shot right through the head, she would probably die. Wouldn’t she? Just thinking about it made his heart clench, made a low sound rise deep in his throat before he forced it down.Daryl didn’t know shit about this, he just knew that he looked down at her and saw her chest rising and falling, and he thought he would do anything in this goddamn fucking piece of shit world if it would help her survive. Cause what was the point of a world like this, without someone like her alive in it?

The Doctor was working on her, talking out loud but it was all gibberish to Daryl at first. He was dimly aware of others in the doorway but he didn’t glance to see who it was. He could hear Rick out in the hallway talking to the cops, and he could hear what he thought was Maggie, out there sobbing. _Figured_. She showed up at the last damn minute, and she should have been in here praying for her sister’s life, but she was out there probably sobbin’ in Glenn’s arms. Thinking ‘bout Maggie made him furious, but not for himself. For Beth. Cause she deserved better. The thought had Daryl growling low in his throat as he gently squeezed Beth’s hand again. Her palm was as soft as he remembered, but this time her fingers didn’t slide through her own to press their palms together like she had that time in the graveyard, and he found himself lost for a moment in the longing that they would.

Daryl stared down at her in a haze until something finally penetrated. 

“Daryl.”

He looked up and saw Carol standing beside him, and his shoulders instinctively straightened at the thought that she was gonna pull him away. He hadn’t even heard her come in. How long had he been just staring down at her? He gave a sudden look down, frantic at the thought that she’d died somehow while he was lost in memory, but it only took a second for him to catch the sight of her chest still rising and falling. So after a moment he looked to Carol and rather than speak, the woman just nodded at the Doctor. Finally he turned to the man, focusing on his face, trying not to dread what he might be about to say.

“She got lucky,” the Doctor started carefully, and Daryl forced his heart not to leap too soon. That weren’t gonna do either of them any good. “Dawn wasn’t aiming when she fired. It’s not quite a graze, but it didn’t penetrate fully. It-” He looked like he was gonna say something more doctor-like, all full of the medical mumbo-jumbo bullshit that just sounded like bullshit to Daryl. But maybe something in his eyes changed the man’s mind, because he faltered and then went on instead, “It just sort of... Sliced across the side of her head. About a half-inch deep. Hit her skull, but not her brain, I don’t think.” He looked like he was gonna say more, but the expression on Daryl’s face seemed to stop him again. He faltered and took a step back before bringing his gloved-hands back up. 

Daryl looked down and saw the blood that stained the Doctor’s gloves, and his gaze shifted down to the blood on Beth’s head. Without thinking, he reached his free hand out and brushed his fingers across the scar on her cheek. He wasn’t even aware that his fingers were faintly trembling. “But she ain’t movin’. She ain’t... Awake.” 

“No, she isn’t awake.” The Doctor spoke cautiously, both to Carol and Daryl at the same time. “Her body is in shock. She needs oxygen, she needs time to rest. It doesn’t seem like she’s in a coma, but we still need to give her time to wake up. I have to take care of that wound, make sure it didn’t actually hit her brain, clean it and stitch it up. And she’s gonna need time to recover.”

It was a lot of words for Daryl and the state of mind he was in right now. He blinked at the Doctor and he blinked at Carol, and then he looked down at the girl laying on the bed below him. She seemed so pale and fragile, the scars dark across her face and her hand soft and limp in his hand. He felt something thick in the back of his throat, welling up inside of him despite his attempts to push it back. 

His voice was gruff when he finally spoke. “She gonna be okay, though?” 

The Doctor seemed hesitant, but a look from Carol had him responding, “If we can give her the care she needs, then yes... She should be okay.” 

***

It all became a haze again after that. He remembered the Doctor and a nurse hooking her up to the vital machines, putting an oxygen mask over her face. He remembered watching as they cleaned out her wound. They had to shave some of her hair away from the wound and he’d gotten all tense as he watched those fragile strands of blonde silk fall to the floor. It had almost been easier to keep his eyes on them, though, rather than all the blood that stained her pale face before they wiped it away. She was so fucking pale that it made something inside of him clench every time he looked at her, cause it was... _Wrong_. Beth Greene wasn’t pale and fragile. She was sunny blond hair and big blue eyes and cheeks all flushed pink with that emotion she never seemed to even try to hold inside of her. Beth Greene wasn’t supposed to look like this. It was wrong.

At one point he remembered Rick coming in, trying to convince him to leave her side. Like he would ever fucking leave her side again. He’d left her side once before, and look at what had happened? He remembered growling as he’d shoved Rick away with his free hand, unaware of how much anguish and anger was in his eyes, but he didn’t remember Rick leaving because he’d been too busy looking back down at Beth, following the rise and fall of her chest with his tired eyes. He remembered hearing Maggie in the doorway, crying, until he’d looked up at her and just _glared_. A Daryl Dixon glare for sure, but so much more than that. Cold and angry and judgmental but also raw with pain for the girl whose hand he never let go of. Maggie looked like she wanted to say something but couldn’t, or didn’t dare, and when she let Glenn lead her away Daryl just let his gaze go back to Beth again, hoping with more strength than he ever thought he could be capable of that she’d just open her eyes and look at him.

The memory that he knew would linger most came when they were all alone in the room later. It had been almost six hours, not that he was aware of that. He was sat in the same chair next to her bed, his rough hand still cupped around hers. He looked down at her as she lay there, her chest rising and falling with her slow breaths. The white bandage across her wound should have been more stark against her face, but she was so pale that it almost blended in against her skin. He studied her face the way he had so many times before when she wasn’t watching him, when he tried to figure out what it was about this girl that made him feel the way he felt around her. Her soft, full lips that were so quick to curve into a smile, the dark scars that marred cheeks that were usually a soft blush pink instead of this pale white, the fringe of her lashes brushing her skin as her eyes stayed closed instead of fluttering open at him. Even like this he could imagine them opening the way they used to, like big blue doe eyes that somehow saw into him, into places no one else could see. 

“C’mon Beth,” he murmured roughly, barely aware he was speaking out loud until he had already begun, letting out thoughts that had been building deep inside of him for all the weeks they’d been apart. “C’mon, girl. I know you're stronger than this. Y’ain’t another dead girl, remember? I never thought y’ were, all this time. Never stopped lookin’ for y’, cause I knew. you're strong. you're a fighter.” He leaned in closer, his breath ghosting over her ear and cheek as she said for her ears only, “Y’ changed my mind, an’ I ain’t changed it back yet, Greene. Still believe there’s good in the world an’ you're it. So come on... I know y’ can do it. Ain’t nobody I know as strong as y’ are.” 

His voice trailed off, cracking on the last word before he dragged in a slow, rough breath and felt his heart clench... And then he felt something else. The delicate touch of fingers curling around his, a soft and gentle squeeze. Barely, but it was there. She had squeezed his hand. She had heard him.

He looked down and though her eyes stayed closed, he would have sworn there was the faintest of smiles on her face. 

_Beth Fucking Greene_. The strongest girl he knew.

***

He knew it was selfish, but he was glad that when she woke up for real, he was the only one in the room with her. It’s not that he thought it’s his right, even if he’d been the only one in here the entire time, never once leaving her side. It’s that he just felt so lucky in that moment. He was half asleep but fighting to stay awake, all the more when he felt the curl of fingers around his hand again. Instantly Daryl sat up and looked down at her. He expected to maybe see her stir, or perhaps move a little bit more in her sleep. What he didn’t expect was the sight of her eyes fluttering open to give him a glimpse of that perfect, gorgeous blue. He didn’t expect to be mesmerized by the sight of her lips parting and the sound of her little rattling breath being drawn in. He certainly didn’t expect her to look up at him, those big eyes even wider in her pale face but fixed on him as she whispered softly, “Knew you’d... come for... me.” 

And Daryl Dixon definitely didn’t expect to be rendered speechless for a moment by the flood of relief and joy and a hint of that warm feeling that he last felt back at the funeral home staring into those same eyes. He laughed, unexpectedly, and it’s all low and gruff, but it put a soft little smile on his lips. “Knew you’d survive. Knew you’d be fighting your way out to meet me.” He remembered seeing her down the long hallway with her hands on Carol’s wheelchair. Those scars on her cheeks had made him furious, but he had looked at her and felt this same surge of relief, and she had looked back at him so strong and alive and he had been so _proud _of the brave woman she was.__

__“Told you I was strong.” Her voice was hoarse and he’d known he should go get the Doctor cause she was so pale and fragile looking, but he couldn’t help being selfish for just a moment more._ _

__“Y’ are,” he whispered back, his eyes so warm as he looked down at hers and his thumb stroking over the back of her hand. “Strongest girl I know.”_ _

__She looked up at him all hazily, a faint pleased smile on her lips, and though he could see the ghost of other things haunting those blue eyes, he was happy that she seemed happy, at least for the moment. They both opened their mouths at the same time, their voices tangling in the air:_ _

__“Daryl-”  
“Beth-”_ _

__She laughed, all soft and rough but bubbly too, and he had reached to brush the hair away from her face just instinctively. But just as he was dragging in a breath to put words to the bubbling feelings inside of him, the door to the room opened and someone came inside, and they weren’t alone anymore._ _

__But it was okay. Because she was alive. She was alive and he wasn’t gonna leave her side, so he could be patient. For a little while longer, at least._ _


	2. Ain't Never Gonna Leave You Again

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Everything is a bit foggy for Beth, even as she comes out of it, but she can always trust Daryl Dixon to be honest with her, and never leave her side when she needs him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The next chapter will have Daryl's perspective again and I promise it'll move ahead a bit! This one overlaps somewhat with the last chapter, but I wanted to show Beth's side of it, as well as advance a few things to do with the group. (Sorry not sorry for being a little negative towards them all, I can't help it, especially Maggie!)

Her memories were all broken, like that time she’d thrown a book across the room in frustration and it had smashed into the mirror about her dresser and shattered it into pieces, and when she’d gotten up and looked down at the glass all over the floor, her face had looked all disjointed, flashing back at her from individual shards.

It was kinda like that. Fractured. She could recall Dawn coming in and ordering her to get dressed and ready to go. Some people had come to trade for her and Carol, she'd said. Her mind should have thought of Rick, or Maggie, or Michonne, but the first thing that had popped into her mind had been _Daryl_. It had to be him. Maybe the rest of them, too. Maybe he’d found them. But the thing was, even without knowing what had actually happened, she just knew it had been him. She’d known when she’d seen Carol get wheeled in that Daryl was close by. She’d _felt_ it.

That same feeling tied Beth to the flash of memory that had her standing in that hallway with her hands curled around Carol’s wheelchair. She could see the group at the end of the hallway and her hands had trembled a little before she’d tightened them. She couldn’t be weak now, not after all this. She had to be strong, and she knew she could. Hadn’t she been so strong all this time? She’d looked down the long hallway and she’d seen him; his hair longer and his grip on his bow firm and his eyes dark and meeting hers just as she found his. She heard his voice in her mind the way she had ever day for the last couple weeks. _Be strong, girl. Almost done, now._

But it wasn’t almost done. It should have been. It should have been done in the glass-sharp fragment of memory where she felt Daryl’s hand slide across her back and start to guide her away but then Dawn had to go and be, well... _Dawn_. And everything got all disjointed again, but Beth remembered being so angry, just full of white hot rage, so different from the cool focus she’d had all this time trying to make her escape. She hadn’t thought, she’d just acted. She’d pulled those scissors from inside her cast and stabbed Dawn with them, and then after that, everything was a haze. 

The haze was a cloudy fog in her mind, cold but not entirely unpleasant. Kinda like being asleep, only she couldn't wake up at first. Some things got through, though. A buzzing by her head. A few flashes of pain. Voice somewhere around her. Crying in the distance. Through it all, there was reassuring warmth that brought a single flash of memory into the haze, of her fingers sliding into Daryl’s hand and feeling his own fingers curve around hers in return.

At one point, she remembered hearing a certain voice in the fog. Low and gruff and rough, but thick with emotion. The fog was too thick for her to break through it just yet, weighing down her eyes and making them too heavy to open, but she heard the words nonetheless. _Ain’t nobody I know as strong as y’are_. She heard it, heard _him_ , and Beth remembered the slide of fingers against her own and very gently curled her fingers with the memory, and for just a second she felt his fingers squeezing hers back again.

Though it took her some time, she eventually found her way out of the fog. His voice and his words and that warmth in her fingers were like an anchor, guiding her out of the cloudy haze and into a world that was brighter against her eyelids. The first thing she really noticed besides that brightness was the smell. Not the lingering antiseptic smell of the hospital, that ugly smell that would always remind her of death and lollipops and hands sliding up beneath her shirt. No, she didn’t smell that. She smelled... Leather. Old leather, and dirt, and a hint of cigarette smoke and something else all mixed into it. Something kinda spicy, something kinda masculine, something kinda... _Daryl_. Then she let her eyes flutter open and there he was, and Beth realized that the warmth she’d felt all this time had been him, holding her hand, and the thought occurred to her that she had never seen anything more perfect than the way he was looking at her right now as he still held her hand tightly.

He didn’t let go, either. Not when Dr. Edwards interrupted them by coming in and seeing her awake. Not when he started to bustle around her busily working, or when one of the nurses (Abigail, who Beth had always kinda liked, more than the cops anyway) came in to join him and they were both checking her vitals and fiddling with her bandages. She only half heard was Dr. Edwards was saying to her, going on about close calls and needing rest and not trying to move too fast or do anything strenuous at all. It was like only every third or fourth word penetrated, partially because she was still in a fog, and partially because she kept looking at him and seeing him just looking back at her. Steady like a rock, and never once letting go of her hand. And god was she grateful for it when the group realized she was awake and began to check on her.

They were all crowding around her and her head hurt and she felt dizzy, and they were asking too many questions all at once and Maggie was crying all over her and she heard one of them say something about Daryl; Daryl tracking her, Daryl finding her, Daryl bringing them here. It was just too much. She felt her chest get all tight and her breathing get all short and then Beth felt a gentle squeeze to his hand. That was all it took. She looked over at him, knowing her eyes were all wide with panic, and Daryl met her eyes for one moment and then acted.

“Get out.” His gruff voice caught everyone by surprise as he ordered them out of the room. “Out. Now.” They looked stunned, the lot of them, possibly because he was being so forceful and not even explaining why, but possibly because he was still holding tight to her hand. Maggie seemed like she wanted to fight, wanted to argue, but then she looked at Beth and Beth managed to just shake her head, and her sister deflated in on herself. A couple months ago, Beth would have caved at that sight. She would have apologized, even though she’d done nothing wrong. But she didn’t, not this time, and though Maggie’s face looked hurt as she left the room, Beth set that against the faint hint of pride on Daryl’s face when she glanced at him, and she realized that what she'd done was okay.

Then they were alone again, and it was quiet. But that was okay, because quiet was what she needed. Quiet, and the warmth of his hand holding hers. For a long moment she just lay there looking up at him, drinking in the sight of him watching her back so quiet and still. “Thank you,” she said after a moment.

“Weren’t nothin’,” he said gruffly, and she saw his adams apple bob in his throat. “You looked...”

“Overwhelmed?”

“Like y’ needed some space.” 

Beth nodded. “From them,” she said softly. She said nothing about needing space from him, and knew that was right when she felt his fingers faintly curl around hers. Quiet reigned for a few moments, until Beth spoke without thinking, “Did you really never give up looking for me?”

“Never.”

He was a man of few words, and Beth would have been content with just that. She _was_ content, for the few moments it lasted. But then she felt his thumb brush lightly over the back of her hand, and was surprised to hear him go on, “Ran after y’ fer miles an’ miles, that night they took y’. Ran till th’ sun was up an’ I couldn’t run no more. Then things changed. Found some people, found the group. Shit went bad again, an’ we got out. But I ain’t never stopped lookin’. Knew y’ were out there. Knew you’d survive, you're real good at that.” She looked up at his eyes held his for a moment, and she saw that hint of pride in them again before he continued honestly, “Never gave up on y’. Even when they all wanted to go on to D.C., didn’t feel right. Then I saw th’ car, th’ one with th’ cross on th’ one like th’ one that had takin’ you, and...”

“And you ran, again?” Her voice was almost a whisper as she looked up at him, stunned not only by how much he was saying (Daryl Dixon, he of the grunts and silent stares), but _what_ he was saying, too. The mental image of Daryl Dixon running after her car like he was being chased by hell itself (or maybe, all things considered, running right towards hell itself in a desperate attempt to save her from it) was something Beth would never forget.

He flashed her what counted in her mind as a grin from Daryl Dixon, just a little twitch of the corner of his lips. “Well, I grabbed a car, but yeah. Guess I ran. Carol was with me when I saw it. Figured out y’ were here, found you're friend, Noah. An’ when Carol got taken, I got th’ rest of th’ group to come an’ help me rescue y’. Both of y’.” 

For a moment or two, she just watched him, questions bubbling to her mind. She wanted to ignore them, wanted to stuff down the pain that was gonna come with them, but she couldn’t seem to do it. She had to know. “D.C.?” 

He nodded.

“All... All of them wanted to go?” Another nod. She licked her lips and spoke one more time, a soft break in her voice as she asked, “Maggie?” 

Beth saw him hesitating, saw a hint of anger flash through his eyes unexpectedly, and she knew without him even needing to answer, but after a moment he nodded for her anyway, and she just breathed out, “Oh.” 

They were silent again for a few long minutes as she churned those thoughts over in her mind. Beth felt them doing something, taking root maybe, waiting for her to have the chance to grow them and think about them more. But she wasn't ready to, not yet, so Beth turned a little onto her side to look at him, ignoring the way he started to reach with his free hand to stop her from moving too much. “M’alright, Daryl.” She had meant both physically and mentally, even if both were probably a lie. He looked to her bandage and didn’t say a word, but for a moment she saw that fear in his eyes and she wondered what it had looked like to him, watching her get shot. Had he really thought she was dead, in that moment? Had they all? 

Her fingers tightened a little around his. “I’m sorry.”

His brow furrowed as he looked down at her. “Ain’t got nothin’ to apologize for.”

Beth shook her head. “I shouldn’t have done that. Shouldn’t have stabbed her. She could have killed me, and after you tried so hard to find me. It was stupid...” 

“Maybe a bit stupid.” There was a wry twist to his lips that caught Beth off-guard, and she felt a brief flutter somewhere deep inside before he got serious again. “But I don’t reckon y’ were thinkin’ much, when y’ did it.”

Beth drew in a deep breath that rattled in her chest. “I was thinkin’, but not about the right things. Shoulda been thinkin’ about you standing there, ready to lead me out. But all I could think about was her and this place. The things she let happen, the things she let them do. I was thinkin’ about how she always tried to act so noble and how it was all bullshit. And I was thinkin’... I was thinkin’ about she told me before that Noah would come back, that people always come back, and I just couldn’t, I just couldn’t let her drag him back to this horrible, awful place, and then I couldn’t think anymore, Daryl, and I’m sorry, and- and-”

And she wasn’t crying, because she didn’t cry anymore, right? But her whole body was shaking and trembling and she was gasping for breath and then she felt him let go of her hand for the first time, only to slide both of his arms around her and drag her tight to his chest. He didn’t say much. He never did, but right now she didn’t need him to. She just needed to be tight in his arms, safe with his warmth so close, feeling her breathing slow as he whispered, “Shhh... Shhh, s’okay. S’okay now, Beth. S’okay...”

After, when Beth could breathe again, she curled her fingers back through his and settled back onto the bed. As exhaustion began to climb over her once more, she squeezed his hand gently and whispered, “Don’t let go, okay?” 

Through the warm fog of sleep slowly stealing over her, she heard his words dropping warm and solid into her mind. “Ain’t never gonna leave y’ again, girl.” 

And she fell asleep with a faint smile on her lips, feeling safer than she had in a long time.

***

Later she woke up, and his hand was still in hers but he’d fallen asleep in the chair next to the bed. His arm was stretched out to hold her hand, and his head had tipped to rest on his shoulder as if he’d fallen asleep just looking at her. 

Beth smiled and stroked her finger over the back of his hand, and this time he wasn’t awake to stop her from slowly rolling onto her side and curling around their embraced hands, as close as she could get without him being in the bed with her.

It was far from the worst thought ever, and it lingered in her mind even as she drifted back to sleep again.

***

When she woke up the next morning, his eyes were on her and she could see relief in them again. Relief, and something else. Something warm that made her feel a bit dizzy for a moment, even as a sleepy smile curved up her lips and she murmured, “Morning.”

“Mornin’,” he said in that same, slightly gruff voice. “Doctor was in here a little while ago. Should tell ‘em you’re awake.” 

Beth hummed and gently curled her fingers tighter in his. “Not just yet, okay? Just... Need a little bit more.” 

He nodded, and that was it. She knew he’d never push her, not like this anyway. Especially not like this. It was a good five minutes of them just staying there like that, her curled up on her side and his hand still laced in hers and her eyes straying up to just watch him watching her. When she spoke again it was without thinking, and her voice was still slightly rough with sleep. “When you all came here... Was it for me? Or was it for Carol?” 

It was another thing she shouldn’t have asked. But she needed to know, and she knew Daryl wouldn’t lie. He was unfailingly honest, sometimes even painfully so, but right now she needed that. 

The question seemed to bother him though, and it took him a moment to answer. When he did, he leaned in a bit and squeezed her hand. “ _I_ came t’ rescue th’ both of y’, okay?”

It wasn’t what she’d asked, but it sort of was, at the same time. “Daryl...” She trailed off, seeing something in his eyes that made her realize that she didn’t need him to say it out loud. She could read it in the look in his eyes, all simmering anger and a hint of anguish deep down inside, for her. She’d known it already, anyway. The group had given up on her from the moment they’d lost the prison. She was just a nothing little girl, someone none of them expected to survive. That she had was something that they probably attributed to a miracle, and probably to Daryl’s determination to find her. They never would have expected her to save herself.

“It don’t matter,” he said gruffly, as if he could read her thoughts. Maybe he could; Beth had always had an expressive face.

“It does...” She started, her voice catching.

“No.” He was rough, but quiet at the same time. “you're alive. That’s what matters.” He paused for a moment as he swallowed hard, and his voice was softer as he added, “An’ I know you're alive cause y’ _fought_ to stay that way. All by you'reself.”

It still hurt, knowing they’d given up on her. Knowing they’d come here for Carol, and she was just an extra bonus. But when he spoke, Beth found it hard to be as upset as she knew she was deep inside. At least he believed in her. If she had to have one person believe in her, it meant a lot to have that person be Daryl Dixon.

So she squeezed his hand tightly, and she still didn’t let go. Not even when he called out for Doctor Edwards to come back in and examine her, and especially not when the group began to trickle in as well. In the hours that followed, every time it got too much or she felt the pain well up inside of her or her breathing get all short, she would feel his hand gently squeezing hers and she looked at him... and she just knew that at least she wasn’t alone in this. 

She had Daryl, and he wasn't gonna leave her.


	3. You Just Watch Me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Daryl Dixon had always been the observant type. And now, he focuses that honed skill on Beth Greene, and there isn't a single thing he doesn't see.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is a bit longer than the others, surprising considering Daryl isn't usually the chatty type, but I hope you all like it. Also, I apologize in advance for any errors. I edit these myself, but I don't currently have a beta! If anyone might be interested (and would be free to beta daily), send me a message!

Daryl Dixon had always been the observant type. It was a skill first born from watching for the signs of his father’s shifting moods and learning to spot when he’d been drinking and how much and if that night would be one of the times he snapped. It was skill then honed hunting in the woods with his Dad and Merle, later just him and Merle; always moving, never staying in one place for long, keeping themselves full on deer or whatever else they could hunt up. Then the world had changed, and in the process it had turned those skills razor sharp over the last couple years. 

Course, he didn’t have to be the most observant guy in the word to know the group was talking about him. He heard their voices outside muttering, confused, occasionally breathing out his name or Beth’s, or both of them together. He knew they were watching him even more, ‘cause he could feel it. Their gazes lingered on him as they walked by, as they stood outside, as they peeked through the doorway or came in to check on Beth. Watching him. Daryl Dixon, all scruffy and dirty in his torn pants and beat-up leather vest, with his dirt-stained fingers laced between or around the clean, pure, pale fingers that belonged to Beth. Wondering why.

They could fuckin’ stare and wonder all they wanted, cause Daryl wasn’t gonna explain and he wasn’t letting go. He couldn’t. Not at first, when she was unconscious and he was terrified she would die if he let go, and definitely not after, once she’d asked him not to. Without a doubt, not after the little glances she’d shot him throughout the day, every time it got to be too much for her. And hell, especially not once he got the feeling that his firm grip was keeping her anchored, and he knew that was just what she needed.

Maybe he’d needed it, too. He’d definitely needed it when she’d been unconscious, fighting to wake up. There was no doubt he had needed it when she’d tried to apologize for getting shot, when she’d breathed out explanations, some of which stuck like needles in his mind. _The things she let happen. The things she let them do._ That one was like a burr in his thoughts; teasing, poking, hurting. The things she’d let _them_ do. Them? The cops. And to who? To the people stuck here. Like Noah. Like _Beth_. 

Daryl had seen enough of this world not to know what people in it might want to do to a girl like Beth. He knew, without having to being told, without asking her to drag out what he knew she wasn’t ready to talk about, what she might not never be. And when those cops walked by, especially the men, it was her fingers through his anchoring _him_ , stopping him from rushing out and slamming them against the wall and demanding to know what they’d done, if they’d touched her, if he had to hurt them for it.

His observation, honed throughout the years from a variety of experiences, focused now on little Beth Greene, and soon her brief words about what Dawn had “let happen” weren’t the only things needling at him. He saw things like the cold distance he kept noticing in Beth’s eyes sometimes, when she’d turn her gaze away from him and stare out into the room, lost in... well, he wasn’t sure. Memory, he figured. Memory and thoughts, maybe. Whatever it was, he didn’t like it. He didn’t like how she’d go all still and her blue eyes would go distant on him. He didn’t like how sometimes her free hand would push down at her side, moving as if to tug down at her shirt protectively, only to stop again. No, Daryl didn’t like those observations at all. 

He also didn’t like the way she looked when the Doctor came into the room. The man might have saved her, but that didn’t earn him too much automatic trust from Daryl, for whom trust was never automatic. Plus, any little hint of trust was swept away when he saw the way she watched the Doctor, her eyes on him carefully as often as she could manage, especially when he was working on her. Once when he left the room, Beth had been half asleep from the pain medicine, and she’d turned to him with a squeeze of his hand.

“Watch him,” she’d said in a voice that was soft, but tight in a way that made his stomach churn a little. 

”Th’ doctor?” Daryl’s gaze flicked to the door the man had just walked through, and then moved right back to her.

“Yeah.” She swallowed hard, her voice thick. “He’s more dangerous than he looks. And he’ll do... anything. Anything, to save himself.” She paused again and he watched her throat working over words she could barely get out. When she finally did speak, it was nearly a whisper. “He’ll _use_ people, to do it.” 

That was all she’d said, but it was enough. Hell, he would have watched the man because of the way she looked at him alone, but her words just sealed the deal even more. Gave him something more specific to watch for. And he did watch. He watched everyone. Most importantly, he watched Beth. The cops and the others in the hospital all filtered by the room and Daryl was like a hawk watching Beth as she watched them. He noticed every little reaction. He noticed who earned a smile from her, he noticed who got a concerned or unsure expression, and without a doubt he noticed which ones had her eyes growing angry or cold. They all went down on the list in his head, with an emphatic mental underline under the few that made her tremble and cling to his hand.

Daryl didn’t keep it all to himself. Much as he wanted to keep her confidence, they were depending on the fragile balance at the hospital to help her heal, so they could move on. When she was asleep he spoke to Rick, told him who to watch out for, made suggestions about which cops they could trust and which they couldn’t. Which ones to keep away from her room, if they could. They didn’t want to be too forceful, because they were doing their best to hold a truce, albeit an uneasy one. Daryl didn’t care if it were uneasy, so long as it lasted until Beth was better. So long as she stayed safe.

The one thing he made sure of was that she was never alone. He was always with her of course, by her side, usually holding her hand. Actually he was always holding her hand, unless she absolutely needed it free. At first he stayed awake as long as he could, unwilling to take his eyes off her for even a moment, in case she might just... Vanish. In the days that followed her waking up, Daryl eventually acknowledged that he needed to get his sleep, too. Once or twice, Beth even insisted herself, and when she looked at him with those damn big eyes it was impossible to say no, even if he’d wanted to. But he didn’t want her left alone, even if he were right there asleep beside her. Someone had to take the watch, someone they both trusted. Usually it was Carol who came in, sitting in the other chair to watch while he slept. Beth seemed the most alright with Carol; Daryl figured it was because the woman had come for her eventually, had followed Daryl to rescue her even if she hadn’t believed in the chance the way Daryl had. He had been there when Beth had told Carol what she’d done to help her heal, when they wanted to take her off the machines, and so he knew the two of them were okay. (And he had been so fucking proud when he’d heard her tellin’ that story, heard how determined she’d been to save Carol’s life.)

He noticed she was okay around Michonne, too, so sometimes it was Michonne in the other chair, watching them quietly, just holding her katana nearby. He figured maybe it was because everyone knew Michonne would always stick by Rick and Carl, and so it didn’t bother Beth to know Michonne hadn’t come looking for her. Daryl knew it bothered her with most of the others. He saw the look on her face every time they came by. It seemed to hurt more the closer she had been to each of them. Abraham, Rosita, Tara, and Father Gabriel were strangers to her, though he noticed an unexpected tension in her that had never been there before, when she’d always been warm and welcoming to every new person they’d met. She seemed polite enough on the few occasions any of them came by before or after visiting Eugene, who was in the room next to Beth’s and far worse off than she was, but he knew it wasn’t exactly the same as she would have been a few months ago.

Tyrese and Sasha only got faint flickers of tightness across her face and a hint of coolness in her voice when they’d came in to see her. Especially when Tyrese had told her some story about Judith and taking care of her. Daryl had seen her feelings towards Tyrese shift, the same way they had with Sasha when they’d both been told about Bob, and so once he’d asked the siblings to sit in while he got some rest and Beth had seemed okay. With Rick, and even Carl though, he saw the pain flash across her face each time they were close. Not so much for Carl, who was young and tied to his father in obvious ways, but for Rick, their leader, it was always there. And he understood that. Rick was like a brother to him, and as the leader of their group (their _family_ ) he would want to believe the man would never give up on him, would always fight to save him. Beth knew now that she couldn’t believe that anymore, ‘cause she’d experienced firsthand that he wouldn’t. He wouldn’t have faith in her, he wouldn’t resist giving up on her, he wouldn’t fight to save her unless a more ‘useful’ member of the group was also at risk.

Daryl never asked Rick to sit in with her while he got a couple hours rest, despite the man offering. He wasn’t about to do that to Beth, make her more uncomfortable than she had to be.

It was the worst with Maggie and Glenn. It got to the point where Daryl started trying to stop them from even coming into the room because he couldn’t stand the sight of her, how her body got all tense and her eyes got all cold and distant, her words short and clipped. The way every inch of her went tight when Maggie tried to hold her in her arms, or the unexpected fire he saw in her gaze whenever Maggie started to cry about how she thought she’d never see her again. It wasn’t helping her heal, and it was best if they stayed away. So he made them, and he didn’t even care if Maggie hated him for it. She could go fuck herself.

The only person she seemed almost comfortable with,besides Daryl himself (and he knew how comfortable she was with him because never let go of him unless she had to) was Noah. Beth didn’t tense up at all when Noah came into the room, and so neither did Daryl, though he watched while the two of them talked softly, and he studied the expressions on both their faces, trying to figure out what they thought about each other. What he saw was camaraderie. The shared bond of two people who had fought the same battle and both lived. He saw Noah’s awe of her, his understanding of her strength, and that notched up Daryl’s respect for him quite a bit. But he also saw the way Beth looked sometimes when she saw Noah, as if seeing him reminded her of what she’d done to protect him. Sometimes it made her eyes go distant again but he was always right there, holding her hand when she needed him. He never thought to do otherwise. He was just there, for her. Helping, holding, watching.

He saw it all. And eventually, mixed in with everything else he noticed, Daryl saw Beth heal. Day after day she got a little less pale as color returned to her cheeks, and every time the Doctor or the nurse unwrapped her head, the wound seemed to have healed a little more. Sometimes she looked at him and that smile lasted for more than just a few seconds, and her eyes seemed brighter for just a little bit longer. And still, he never left her side. He never took his hand from his. 

So when she got out of bed for the first time since the accident, it wasn’t a surprise that he was the one holding her hands to help her up. His rough hands, so used to pulling triggers and thrusting knives deep into skulls and carefully skinning rabbits and squirrels, were firm but surprisingly gentle as he gripped her carefully. He didn’t pull her up, he was just there for support and balance as she swung her legs out of the hospital bed and then climbed slowly to her feet. She wobbled there for just a second before she steadied and looked up at him, and he felt like the smile she gave him was just as much a reward as it had been to see her wake up that first time after she’d been shot.

“I did it!” She exclaimed brightly, still clinging to his hand.

“Yeah ya did,” he replied back, gruff but with a hint of pride he knew she’d hear, even if no one else would’ve. “Wanna see if y’ can take a couple steps, Greene?” 

He saw that light in her eyes again at the challenge and felt his lips quirk in a faint smile as he just raised his eyebrow and dared her a little more. Inside he was all filled with pride though as he took a step back and she followed, a bit wobbly and weak from the injury and from days spent in bed, but still managing it. 

“Good girl,” he said gruffly.

“Oh, do I get a treat? You gonna pat my head, Daryl?” Her blue eyes sparkled at him and he felt that tug inside of him again, the one he always got when she looked at him. Any time, but especially when she looked like that. Like her eyes were hooking on something inside him and pulling it up and out. 

He just shook his head and gave her a rough, “Shush, girl,” but there was a hint of amusement in his voice that he knew she noticed. Beth always noticed things with him that most people didn’t. Sometimes he hated it, especially when she saw the things he wanted to keep hidden deep down inside. He still remembered the sting of her putting voice to the thoughts he never even thought about letting out, that night when they’d gotten drunk on moonshine. How she’d just shouted it out, like she was flinging his truths into the air for anyone to hear; about how he was afraid, afraid that everyone they’d considered family was dead. She’d just ripped those feelings out of him and brought the words out his lips along with them, heated and angry at first until the tears had followed. He’d hated that, though he’d never really hated her, ‘cause though he’d never admitted it out loud a part of him had been grateful after.

He didn’t hate it right now, though. He wanted her to look at him and be able to see the pride in his face, the happiness at having her back. Daryl needed her to see it because he hadn’t found the way to tell her in words yet. Not since that first night when the sight of her looking up had put that hook into him and tugged it all out. Or some of it anyway. He’d told her how he’d kept running and running to find her and how he’d never given up. He hadn’t really told her why.

He hadn’t told her how in the days following them burning down that house, she felt like the sun, shining on his face for the first time in years.

He hadn’t told her how losing her was like a damned eclipse, or like a long winter night, only fucking endless.

He hadn’t told her how he would have done anything, gone anywhere, to bring her back. Even if it meant burning himself alive he would have done it just to grab his sun and put it back in the sky.

(Merle would’ve knocked him over the head, if he coulda heard the poetic bullshit in Daryl mind whenever he thought of her.)

He hadn’t told her that she’d been in his mind every day. That sometimes he’d heard her voice in his head. That someone would say something and he’d remember her babbling out some story about her family, or their farm, and he’d actually had to stop himself from opening his dumb mouth to say something like “Beth told me once…”

He hadn’t told her that it had been her voice there telling him not to give up. That he’d heard her words whispered over and over again every day. _You don’t know that!_ , whenever he thought maybe she was lost. _I survived. I made it_. Echoing over and over again. 

He hadn’t told her that the Beth Greene voice in his head had encouraged him, had kept him going, had told him to be strong and that it was okay to be afraid. He hadn’t told her that her voice had helped him. It had been there telling him to be careful around Joe’s group. It had whispered to him to have faith when he’d been hanging over that damn trough about to get turned into some hipster-fuck’s dinner. It had driven him to rush headlong towards Carol and hug her like Beth had hugged him, and to not give up on the woman who was like a sister to him now, to not let her give in to the darkness like he almost had.

(He hadn’t told her about that day in Atlanta, how when Carol had asked him if he was starting over, he’d told her he was trying, and the image in his mind had been of Beth all lit up in the sun, waiting for him in the distance. Or how she’d told him he was grown up, that it was like he’d been a kid and now he was a man, and Daryl had thought of Beth and that shack and the things he’d screamed at her, and the way she’d helped him burn it all away.)

He hadn’t told her thank you, for everything. For what she’d done for him, or for how she’d fought for herself.

“Daryl?” Her voice cut into his mind again the way it had every day for the weeks without her, but this time when Daryl blinked away his thoughts she was right there looking up at him. Real. “You okay?”

“M’fine.” It was short and rough, maybe too much so, and he regretted that a little.  
“Tryin’ to decide just how strong you are, Greene.” He shook his head and clucked his tongue. “Can’t be strong enough to make it to the doorway, yet.”

“You just watch me, Daryl Dixon.” 

Like he was gonna do anything else.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> See, I promised I'd move it along, and I did... sort of. Honest! I swear I won't linger in the hospital forever, but I hope you won't blame me, considering the amount of feels that went into all of Daryl's thoughts in this chapter.


	4. The Safety of His Arms

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Two weeks after she got shot, Beth has done a lot of healing... physically, at least. But there are things that plague her, things that she can't seem to face. Thankfully, she has the safety of Daryl's arms to keep them at bay.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I apologize in advance if this chapter somehow makes less sense, I have not been sleeping well this week and I worry it's starting to impact my writing. Hopefully it's still okay, and hopefully you all enjoy this update! I know I enjoyed writing it, despite my exhaustion.
> 
> Recommended soundtrack to this chapter: [Never Let Me Go](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zMBTvuUlm98) by Florence and the Machine.
> 
>  **WARNINGS** : Mild sexual assault in a dream sequence.

The hospital room was dark. The florescent lights above had been turned off for the night, and the only light came from out in the hallway where it filtered in through the curtained window. The room looked so much safer to her at at night somehow. Beth knew it was probably counter-intuitive. Darkness usually was more scary these days because you couldn’t see what was coming. For Beth however, the bright hospital rooms held more memories for her; memories that flashed into her mind in a sharp spike when she saw the bright white walls, or when the lights above made a jar flash on the corner of a table or desk. The darkness was safer. It cared less memories. It was kind of like a cocoon. 

She was laying on her side in the hospital bed, watching Daryl asleep in his chair. It had been nearly two weeks since Beth had been shot and somehow, he still hadn’t left her side. Some part of her had been certain he would, had even been bracing for it. Never mind that he had never left her behind when it was just the two of them on their own... cause that was the point, it had only been the two of them. He hadn’t left her behind because she was all that he had, his responsibility... right? 

Except the whole group was basically in the hospital with them, and yet Daryl was still by her side, so how could that be the case?

Of course Beth remembered him telling her he wasn’t gonna leave her, but a part of her had figured he was just... saying it. Which was dumb, now that her mind was more clear and she thought about it. Daryl Dixon didn’t say things just to say them. He said it cause he meant it, and when Daryl promised you something, you _knew_ he meant it. Beth knew that both logically and in her heart, but she still found herself studying him in the dimly lit room. Usually when he was sleeping someone else managed to ‘conveniently’ (aka at the request of one Mr. Dixon) show up to sit with her. At night though, he locked her room with just the two of them inside, so she could sleep the night in safety.

She’d been worn out today after he’d let her walk a lap around the entire fifth floor (with him at her side, of course, shooing away everyone who bugged her for too long). She’d fallen right to sleep, only to wake up a couple hours later. That happened a lot these days. Now that they weren’t giving her pain meds nearly as often it was mostly up to her mind to allow her to sleep, and unfortunately her mind was a mess lately. If it wasn’t nightmares it was anxiety, or just a sort of heavy feeling that seemed to drag her out of sleep. 

At least she always woke up to Daryl beside her, holding her hand. His fingers were laced in her hand now, warm and somewhat limp with sleep. She studied his face as she stroked her thumb over the back of his hand and decided that the hospital room wasn’t the only thing that looked different in the dark. Daryl always looked so much more peaceful in sleep, and yet there was also this odd sense of awareness about him. As if he were only just asleep, right on the edge, and he would wake up at the slightest hint of something wrong. She knew he would. She’d figured out how light of a sleeper he was when it had been just the two of them and sometimes all it took was her rolling over with a sigh for his eyes to flutter open.

(Beth also knew how badly he slept; that it was always for short periods of sometimes and that sometimes he had bad dreams. She didn’t know because he’d told her, she knew because of the way he’d start to groan in his sleep sometimes and then wake up with a low rough noise, like he was choking back a shout or a cry. Beth never mentioned that to him, though. There were a lot of things about Daryl that it was safer to just keep to herself.) 

Given how lightly she knew he slept, it came as no surprise when the weight of her gaze on him and the brush of her thumb over the back of his hand had his eyes fluttering open to look at her. She was struck for a moment by how blue his eyes were, even in the dim light that came in from the hallway. Her lips parted in a soft sigh, before they curved up to give him a soft smile.

“Hey.” His low voice was even lower than usual and husky with sleep, and it sent a brief warm fizzle down her spine. 

“Hey,” Beth murmured back, her thumb still stroking his hand. “Sorry. Didn’t mean to wake you.”

“S’alright.” He ran his free hand through his hair and looked her carefully over, his gaze missing nothing. “Can’t sleep?”

“I dunno. I tried, but then I woke up feeling... Anxious, I guess.” Beth bit at her lower lip, worrying it between her teeth as she tried to pinpoint the feelings that had dragged her out of sleep.

“Should try again.” Daryl sat up a little straighter and leaned over the bed slightly to look down at her. “Ain’t nothin’ to be anxious about. I’m here, I’ll make sure.” 

Beth hesitated just a second before a soft smile curved across her lips. “I know.” She even made like she was going to give it a try, curling up a little more on her side and tugging the blanket up to her waist and settling her head into the pillow. Her eyes didn’t close though, and the quiet only lasted a few minutes before Beth found herself saying in a slightly-worried voice, “I keep thinkin’ you’re gonna get... Tired. Of sitting here with me, I mean. Cause you can leave, if you really want, you know.”

She felt Daryl tense briefly and risked a glance up at him. He was peering down at her more intently than before and she caught a glimpse of some unknown emotion in his eyes before it was quickly shuttered. When he spoke his voice was slow and careful, “Do y’ want me to go?”

“No.” She spoke so quickly it made her blush. She hadn’t even thought before opening her mouth. But at least he’d know she meant it. Just in case, Beth added, “That’s the last thing I want.”

Now his brow furrowed as he looked down at her. “So why’re ya askin’, then?”

“Cause... I dunno. Cause I thought maybe you didn’t really want to be stuck sitting here with me.” 

To her surprise, he snorted at her. Beth blinked up at him. “What?”

“You ever see me do somethin’ I ain’t wanted to?” 

Beth paused for a moment to consider. “No.” 

“Alright, then.” 

It seemed settled, for Daryl anyway, but there must have been a hint of confusion lingering on Beth’s face because after a few quiet moments he surprised her by speaking again. “I promised I’d stay by your side, an’ I meant it. I don’t break a promise. Even _if_ I wanted to, even if I wanted t’ leave.” He waited just long enough to see her blink up at him, and then added in that slow, measured tone, “An’ I don’t wanna break it.”

Daryl didn’t say anything else, but for the moment he didn’t need to. Beth could see it in his eyes right now as he looked down at her, and what she saw made those little butterflies unfurl wings in her belly. She knew that ‘I don’t want to break my promise’ also meant ‘I don’t wanna leave you’. It wasn’t just that he wanted to keep his promise; he wanted to be here. Next to her, all the time. Daryl Dixon _wanted_ to be at her side.

The tension eased from Beth’s face as she let a smile slowly curve up her lips just for him. He watched it for a few seconds longer than she was expected, his gaze lingering on her face and flickering down to her lips for just a moment before he gave her hand a squeeze. “Try t’ get some sleep now, Greene. Tomorrow maybe we’ll see if y’ can lap the floor twice. If ya got it in y’, anyway.”

Beth took the playful challenge with a crinkle of her nose at him and a little laugh, but it was the look she’d seen in his eyes a few moments ago that lingered in her mind and soothed her as she let her eyes flutter shut and relaxed. As the tension went out of her, sleep claimed her, and as she drifted deeper, Beth began to dream...

_Her fingers were laced in Daryl’s as they walked side-by-side down the long hallway taking slow evenly matched strides together in silence. Once they passed by a room and she saw Rick and Maggie and Glenn inside and they stared and stared and stared at her, until she began to tremble, until Daryl turned his fierce gaze on them and they seemed to falter and then just fade visibly away. Beth hummed as she curled her fingers tightly in his and leaned against his side, completely lacking in self consciousness when she was with him like this. The hallway seemed to go on and on, and that was fine with her. She could walk like this forever, with him, down a brightly lit hallway where all that mattered was his hand in hers and the warmth of his body beside hers._

_Above her, a light flickered._

_Beth looked up and in that moment, everything went dark. In the darkness, hands reached for her from behind wrapping around her waist and yanking her back into darkness and empty space. She heard Daryl’s voice shouting roughly in front of her: Beth! Beth! Beth! But the more he shouted the further away he sounded, and the more distant her voice, the more solid those arms around her felt._

_The darkness lifted and she found herself in Dawn’s office. The hands that been around her waist slid now to her hips and Beth felt her stomach churn as she felt the body pressing against her from behind. “No. No...” She reached down to push the hands away, but they curled tighter into her hips. One hand shifted down to slip under her shirt, and Beth groaned. “No. Stop. Please stop...” And from the silence behind her she heard a low, amused voice reply, “Don’t fight it, Bethy.”_

_Beth froze at the sound of that voice, that nickname, and the man behind her gave a low chuckle. “Good girl.” Instantly she began to tremble and push at the hands that gripped her tight. “Now what are you doing, Bethy? I thought we were gonna work something out, here.”_

_“No!” With a frantic sob, Beth reached desperately in front of her, searching for the jar she knew was supposed to be on this desk. But it wasn’t there, nothing was there, her hands just slipping on the smooth surface and she heard the man behind her give another laugh as his hand slid up over her hips. “Aw come on, we both know you’re not a fighter.” Beth gave a strangled sob as she realized that the hands that pressed to her skin felt cold and clammy and kinda slick in a way, and there was a scent in the air she should be familiar with, something like copper and rot all hot in the air, and as a hand brushed up above her hip Beth gave a cry and spun around fast in her attacker’s arms, shoving hard at his chest to no avail as her eyes trailed slowly up to his face..._

_And she saw Gorman, only Gorman was dead of course he was dead she’d killed him, she’d killed him, she’d killed him, not real not real but here he was all rotted and still grabbing at her, a gory split open gash on his face and blood everywhere, blood on his neck and blood down his uniform shirt and blood on his hands as they glided over her skin, and blood copper and cloying in the air, and then he opened his mouth and his breath was thick with the smell of rot as he breathed out, “Be sweet to me, Beth...”_

_Beth opened her mouth and **screamed** in terror--_

\--and woke up still screaming, fighting at the sheets which had become twisted around her legs as she tossed and turned in her nightmare. The sheets felt like hands, wrapping around her and sliding over her skin, and then she felt _real_ hands grabbing her arms wrapping around her tightly, and Beth sobbed in terror and frustration and struggled against those arms until suddenly one voice cut through the dark haze of her nightmare and into her mind.

“Beth. Beth. Beth, it’s me, please wake up, Beth it’s me, it’s Daryl, _Beth_.”

She wasn’t even sure how long he’d been pleading to get her attention before it cut through the nightmarish haze in her mind, and even now she was still crying, still shaking, but her hands finally shifted from trying to tear away the sheets and instead reached to clutch at his arm where it wrapped around her. Plaintive and terrified, filled with need, Beth whimpered just once, “ _Daryl_...” 

Before she could blink he had his arms sliding more gently around her and he was pulling her firmly against his chest instead of trying to help her snap out of her bad dream. “It’s okay,” he murmured in that gravelly voice, “M’here. M’right here. Ya gotta breathe, Beth. Just _breathe_.”

Because he’d told her to, she dragged in a deep breath, and was instantly filled with the familiar scent of him ( _oldleatherandsweatandcigarettesanddirtandDarylohyes_ ) and a shudder went through her body as she pressed trembled against him. “S’okay,” he kept murmuring, keeping her wrapped up tightly and tucking her head under his chin. “S’okay. You’re awake. Everything is okay.”

“He was- He was dead but he was touching me, and-” She tried to get the words out but she could barely catch her breath, and they caught in her throat like claws trying to drag down and silence her.

“Shhh. Ya don’t gotta tell me if you can’t, Beth. S’okay, I’m here. Just keep breathin’ for me, girl.”

She could do that, or at least she was pretty sure she could. She knew _he_ believed she could, and so that was what Beth focused on. She just breathed. In and out, in and out, in and out. His arms never faltered, never even moved except perhaps to tug her closer or smooth a hand down her back. At first she thought the panic would never fade, but eventually it began to, especially when she realized she could feel the rise and fall of his chest. The trembling of her body slowed, her breathing began to even out to match his, and soon she became more aware of the pair of them and how they had fit themselves together.

He was standing against the side of the bed with his knees pressed to the edge of it. Somehow he had pulled her up onto her knees, too, so she was leaning forward and pressed against his chest. His arms held her tightly and hers had been tucked against her stomach but now shifted to wrap around his waist as she rested her cheek to the warm shirt that covered his chest and breathed slowly in and out. 

It was a few more minutes before Daryl spoke again, and then only to say, “S’good, Beth. That’s perfect. Just keep doin’ that, okay?”

Beth nodded, not trusting herself to speak yet. 

“Good.” 

For a good ten minutes they just stood there like that, her wrapped up in his arms and letting him hold her close and remind her to breathe. When he eventually moved to guide her back down onto the bed, Beth instinctively began to move with him. But the moment she realized he’d have to let her go in order to do it, she clung to him even tighter instead. “Please- Please, don’t-”

“Shhh.” He stopped immediately, even though it had him leaning over her on the bed a bit awkwardly. “S’okay still, Beth. I told y’ I ain’t goin’ anywhere.” 

There was a long moment of silence and when Beth spoke her voice was broken and plaintive again as she pleaded, “Then please don’t let go.” 

To her surprise she felt a shudder go through his body but she didn’t know why. She knew her words could have an effect on him but not like that, and before she could think about it more he said simply, “Okay.” For a few more moments she leaned into him, sensing he was thinking something over. “Think you're okay with me lettin’ go for just a couple seconds?” 

When her only response was a faint shiver, Daryl gave a low hum. His arm slid from around her but only so he could carefully grip her hand. “S’alright. Can do it this way instead.” Beth thought maybe he’d just sit down at the edge of the bed next to her and put his arm around her or something. She certainly didn’t expect him to climb right onto her bed and sit himself up with his back against the pillows and his legs stretching out in front of him. He looked awkward for only a moment until he leaned casually back, almost the same way she’d seen him lean against a tree trunk or against the wall when he was stretched out on some floor. It kinda made her want to smile and she might have if she wasn’t still trembling a bit.

“C’mere,” he said gruffly. When she only raised a quizzical eyebrow at him, he gestured to his side. “Ain’t gonna offer twice, girl.” He was playing it all casual and a part of Beth knew it was just the only way he knew how to play it. She even kinda appreciated it. It wasn’t like Daryl Dixon was gonna sweet talk her or tell her to come cuddle up to him. If he had she probably would have fallen off the bed in shock. Just the thought had the very faintest of smiles finally tugging at the corners of her lips before Beth shifted to climb up the bed and lay down beside him.

He kept a hold on her right hand and when she lay down next to him he used the grip to draw his arm around her back and hold her close. Beth hesitated a moment and then tucked herself against his slide slowly and carefully. Her cheek pressed to his chest and her knees nudged his leg and after a very long pause Beth gently and cautiously let her hand come to rest on his belly. Her touch was feather light as if she were waiting for him to protest so she could snatch her hand away. Given that this was probably the closest she’d ever been to Daryl Dixon, and given that he didn’t seem to be at all the cuddling type (or, you know, the touching type at all usually), she wouldn’t have been surprised if he’d instantly pulled away. When all he did was give a faint grunt (not the discontented grunt, and yeah, Beth knew the difference between quite a few of his grunts) her hand settled a bit more firmly and she relaxed a little against him.

Both of them were quiet for a few moments; Daryl perhaps unsure of what to do or say, and Beth just letting herself soak it in. In the end it was he who broke the silence with a quiet and slightly gruff, “Ain’t too good at things like this. Don’t mean I don’t wanna try, y’ know. If y’ need it. Y’ just gotta be patient with me.” 

“I dunno,” Beth breathed out with a faint little smile he wouldn’t be able to see. “You’re doing pretty well right now.”

“Yeah?” 

“Yeah.” 

Beth felt his fingers curl a little tighter in hers, giving her permission to relax a little bit more against him, and she knew it was alright.

Though the quiet was nice, a part of her wanted to tell him about her nightmare. Maybe it was like poison festering inside of her, and she had to let it out like she’d seen someone do on some wildlife show once, a man just sucking the poison right out of a bite. The problem was that she didn’t know if she could. The problem was she couldn’t find the words. The problem was... well, the problem was that a very small but very scared part of her was thinking that if she told him, then the way he looked at her would change. He would know, and he would look at her differently, maybe even pityingly or badly, and she didn’t think she could stand that.

Unaware that she had been opening and closing her mouth as if starting to speak and then stopping herself, Beth was surprised when she heard Daryl murmured, “S’okay.”

She tilted her head back to peer up at him, confused, and he answered before she could ask, “Y’ don’t have to tell me what ya dreamed about. Ain’t none of my...” He stopped, even though she knew what he had been about to say. His forehead wrinkled for a moment as if he were actively trying to stop himself from speaking in a more habitual way, and then he exhaled a sigh and looked down at her. “Y’ can tell me when you're ready to. Or never at all. Either way I still ain’t going nowhere.” 

It was silent again as she considered that for a minute. Her eventually reply was a nod, but then a second later Beth added, “But we should.”

“Should what?” He gave her his confused look, or what she mentally referred to as ‘don’t know what you’re talking about, girl, so I’m just gonna narrow my eyes at you till you spit it out’ look. It made her smile again just faintly. “We should go. I mean, all of us. We should get out of this place.” 

He didn’t say anything but he was studying her face and Beth was surprised to see that there was a new look in his eyes. Not measuring but... Respectful and believing, maybe. Like he wasn’t just hearing her but _listening_ and taking her opinion into account. It had her emboldened, enough to go on, “We should leave as soon as we can. I know we’ve got some kind of tense truce going on right now, Daryl, but... But it won’t last. This place isn’t safe.”

“No?”

“No. _They’re_ not safe. The people here, the ones that run it.” A shiver went through her spine and she felt his arm snake tighter around her and hold her closer to chase it away, giving her the courage to keep going. “They’re bad people, Daryl. They’re bad people who like to use people, and trap them, and- and do bad things to them.” There was no way she could get across the full gravity of the situation with words right now, because speaking about this place meant speaking about the horrors she’d endured and she just couldn’t do it, she just _could not_ bring herself to speak them yet.

Maybe that shown in her eyes, or maybe it just didn’t even matter to him if she gave him more detail than that. Daryl studied her face for one second longer and then gave a slow nod. “Alright,” he said in that low, raspy voice. “Then we’ll leave.”

“As soon as we can?” Beth couldn’t hide the plaintive note that slipped into her voice.

“As soon as we can,” He replied, and she felt reassured just hearing it.

“Okay then.”

Now it was Daryl’s turn to faintly smile. “Yeah, okay then.” He squeezed her hand. “Why don’t y’ try to get some more sleep, Greene.” He paused just a beat and then seemed to hasten to add, “Or just rest. S’okay if you just wanna rest.” 

Beth settled against him again and though her breathing slowed, she didn’t go back to sleep. She didn’t think she could. But after a few minutes of quiet, she did murmur, “Daryl?”

“Yeah.”

“Thank you.”

He shifted above her and reached to tip up her chin and look into her eyes. “Ain’t no need for y’ to thank me. Wasn’t gonna let y’ stay scared like that.”

“Well I’m still saying thank you anyway,” she added stubbornly and then, before he could argue, “And no take backs!” She said it so quickly that it caught him by surprise, and when his eyes widened Beth gave him her first genuine smile since she’d woken up from her nightmare.

He shook his head and snorted, and then just nudged her head back to his chest. And even though she hadn’t thought she’d be able to fall asleep, it wasn’t long before the warmth of his body and the safety of his embrace had her drifting off again. This time, though, there were no nightmares. 

It was like they couldn’t penetrate the safety of his arms.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a note, there will _probably_ **not** be a chapter update tomorrow. Unfortunately I am going to be away for the whole day and into the evening, and I don't know how awake I'll be when I get home. If I can't manage something tomorrow, I promise to have an update up by Saturday!
> 
> I would love to know what you all thought of this chapter. I hope everyone is still enjoying it, I know I am. (If you're getting tired of the hospital, don't worry... things will be happening soon! I swear it won't all be JUST them cuddling each other, not that I think anyone minds that too much...)


	5. She Was Like a Goddess

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When the group meets to discuss their plans to leave the hospital, Beth surprises everyone but Daryl with her fierce and defensive words.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is EXTRA LONG, to make up for not posting one yesterday. I hope you all enjoy it, I had a lot of fun writing it. For fun (though it's not necessary), you can listen to "[Suddenly I See](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9AEoUa0Hlso)" by KT Tunstall, because that is definitely the sort of song that describe what Daryl Dixon feels when he looks at Beth Greene.

As the last of the group slipped into the room, Rick reached out to close it behind them and turn the lock with a ‘click’ before turning to look them over with a studying gaze that Daryl returned easily. Minus Rosita, who was currently in Eugene’s room keeping watch, every last member of their newly reformed group was currently fit (a bit tightly) into Beth’s room. They covered almost every surface, filling the clean white room with shifting bodies, albeit ones far less dirty and smelly than usual considering the hospital’s working showers.

Daryl still didn’t like it, mostly because he knew Beth didn’t like it. From the moment they’d first begun to filter into her room for the meeting, he’d seem the tension rising in the lines of her body again. At first it was just Michonne, in her usual seat against the wall. Then Rick and Carl came in, and though Carl gave Beth a smile that she returned faintly, Daryl saw the way her shoulders tightened. When Tyreese came in right after them, Sasha at his side and Judith in his arms, Beth actually trembled a little.

It was for Judith that time, he knew that. He hadn’t seen Beth hold her once since the group had reunited. Two weeks had gone by, and despite the fact that he’d offered once (and so had Rick), Beth had just shaken her head and hid her trembling hands in the sheets, same as she was now. Later, the night after she’d said no a second time, he’d been holding her hand as she lay in bed again. He hadn’t asked her about it, but most of the time he didn’t really need to ask her things out loud. She knew what he was wondering, and he knew that if she was ready to answer him, she would. His heart had ached a little when she’d said that Judith was better with Tyreese now, that he was good with her, and she was just happy to see the little girl alive, still. That it was okay.

He knew that was a lie. He knew she itched to hold that little girl in her arms and make her smile. He also had a little bit of an inkling that maybe she was scared to. He could see it in her eyes, and it hurt him, but at the same time he got it. Cause if anyone understood what it felt like to think you were unworthy of something, unworthy of holding or touching something so pure and innocent, than it was Daryl. In his mind though, Beth would never be unworthy of anything like that. 

Her hands were trembling again now as he watched her try to slide them under the sheets. His own feelings of unworthiness were tucked away in a corner somewhere now, because Beth needed him and frankly, what she needed was more important than his own feelings of inadequacy about giving it to her. Ignoring the eyes of the group he reached out and took her hand, curling it safely inside of his own. It was more than worth it to see the grateful look in her eyes when he squeezed her hand tightly. 

Though a part of him deep down inside wanted to climb up into the bed with her and hold her safe in his arms the way he had the other night, he couldn’t bring himself to do it in front of everyone. (Even if he hadn’t stopped thinking about it since it happened two nights ago, since she’d drifted to sleep in his arms and he’d fallen asleep with her, the best sleep he’d had in weeks, maybe even months, until he’d awoken to Michonne looking down at him with a faint smirk and a knowing expression in her eyes.) It was an urge even harder to resist when Maggie and Glenn came into the room and headed towards them. Maggie’s eyes had narrowed at him, but all he really cared about was how Beth’s whole body tensed up and how her breathing got short and tight when Maggie leaned down and wrapped her arms around her unmoving sister in a tight hug. 

Why didn’t Maggie see? Why didn’t _any_ of them see? They were always in here touching her like she was the same Beth they’d known months ago at the prison. They all leaned in for hugs or to squeeze her arm, or reached out to gently rub her back or grab her when she walked past, like it was nothing, like it was just normal, and somehow Daryl seemed to be the only one who saw the way Beth reacted. The light touches had her eyes going wide, the pupils dilating until there was more black than blue. Her body would go tense if they gripped her arm, and if their arms wrapped around her she would start to breathe all shortly, like she couldn’t quite get the breaths in and out right. Like there wasn’t enough air anymore. 

He wasn’t dumb, despite what people would think. He’d seen people get hurt before, in his dark past where the people around him seemed to get hurt almost just as much as people did these days. He’d seen how someone who had been abused could get like this, afraid of touch and brought to panic if it came when it wasn’t welcome. His brain made the connection between then and now, and he knew.

Beth didn’t like to be touched by anyone, anymore, if she wasn’t ready for it. 

Except for him. She’d never flinched when he touched her, never tensed or panicked when he curled his fingers in hers or drew her to his chest. Not once. At first he didn’t really understand why. If anyone should scare her after what she’d been through, shouldn’t it have been him? With his big rough dirty hands, and his firm touch? He was far from gentle, after all, and so far from innocent that sometimes he thought just touching her with his dirty hands might sully her perfect skin.

And yet...

And yet she wasn’t afraid. And yet she seemed to _need_ his touch sometimes. And he remembered when he had been just like her. Still was, sometimes. He wasn’t the touching type. He didn’t need to hug or even squeeze hands or arms like everyone else in the group seemed to do. He brushed off affectionate touches, he generally shied away from any show of affection in general. The Dixons had never been an affectionate family, after all. His father’s hands had been more inclined to hit and punch than to gently squeeze, and his mother was more inclined to caress a bottle of whiskey than her son’s young cheeks. 

Hugs had been a thing Daryl Dixon was entirely unfamiliar with, frankly. Until Beth. Until the prison cell when he’d told her that her boyfriend was dead and she’d hugged him in concern, fitting her slender body against his chest and wrapping her arms around him to ask if he was okay. Until the moonshine shack and her thin gentle arms wrapped around his waist, and the press of her body first hard against his back and how she’d been just a warm presence, holding him tight as he cried the poisonous memories out from the deep well inside of him. Until the weight of her in his arms as he scooped her up unexpectedly in the funeral home, her laughter in his ear as he carried her into that candle-lit kitchen with a veritable feast laid out on the table.

(Until the heavy, not-dead weight of her in his arms as he’d lifted her up, her blood dripping onto his arm and her breath, her _exhaling breath_ in his ear, and the surging perfect knowledge that she was _alive_.)

No, he didn’t mind her touch at all. (Sometimes a part of him even thought he needed it.) Maybe it was the same for her. Maybe his touch was, somehow, the same for her. (Maybe she didn’t even care if his hands were rough and dirty and not good enough.) If she needed his, then he wasn’t going to question it, let alone complain. 

Daryl knew she needed it now from the way her fingers curled against his tightly as Maggie pulled silently back. Her and Glen moved to lean against the wall near Beth’s bed, and the rest of the group filed in to fill the small space. Carol came up near him on the other side of the bed, standing behind the chair he sat in that had taken up residence right beside Beth’s bed. Noah was with her, and he gave Beth a smile that she actually managed to faintly return, causing Daryl’s trust in the newest member of their group to climb a tiny notch higher. Having trusted Eugene to Rosita’s watch, Abraham came in with Tara trailing behind him. The massive red-haired man had a presence that seemed to take up as much space as his body, even if it had been diminished a bit since the revelation about Eugene. He seemed almost a bit hollow at times, at least to Daryl’s eyes, as if he were still reeling both from Eugene’s revelation and what he’d done after.

(Daryl didn’t tell him he’d kind of thought they were all stupid for believing Eugene in the first place. It had been Beth that had taught him how important hope was for people to survive.) 

Tara came around to stand near Maggie and Glenn, and though she smiled at Beth the girl only managed a tiny tight smile in return. Her breathing was all short again and it occurred to Daryl suddenly that it was like she couldn’t find enough air to drag into her lungs. Like all the people being in the room with her were sucking the air from it or something, leaving less for her to breathe. As Rick had leaned out to call Father Gabriel in, Daryl leaned over the bed so he was closer to Beth’s ear. He didn’t care that everyone was watching, but their being nosy didn’t give them any right to hear what he said to her.

“Ya gotta breathe, girl. Remember?” She looked at him and he felt something _growl_ protectively inside of him at the sight of all that black blotting out her cornflower blue eyes. “In and out,” he murmured low and rough, hoping his words would guide her. “In-” She breathed in and he nodded, “-and out.” She exhaled and followed him again, in and out a few more times until some of the tension eased and he saw that perfect blue regaining a little more control in her eyes. 

“There ya go,” he said with a squeeze of her hand, and just knowing she was breathing better was all the reward he needed, although her tiny smile wasn’t so bad either.

He leaned back into his seat but didn’t let go of her hand, but the thought entered his mind that she really needed to get out of this place, even more than she realized. Not just because the hospital and the people in it were dangerous. Because she was stuck in here, trapped in a place with bad memories and walls that seemed to close in on her, especially when they were filled with people she didn’t quite feel she knew anymore. 

She would feel better outside, surrounded by trees and dirt and open air. Just like him. Just another thing they had in common, added to a list that was far longer than he’d ever expected it could be.

“Daryl thinks we need to make plans to get going soon, and I agree,” Rick finally began, his gravelly voice carrying easily in the small room. “These people have helped us, but we all know that doesn’t mean they’re safe.” 

Rick’s glance strayed to Beth, and while she didn’t speak she didn’t quail away from him either. She just met his gaze and nodded, and Daryl felt a faint twinge of pride as he squeezed her hand again. 

“But there’s a problem,” Rick started again, “Eugene.” 

Abraham’s voice was quieter than usual, heavy with complex emotions Daryl couldn’t entirely pinpoint. Guilt, at the least. He knew how guilt sounded. “He isn’t healed enough yet. He isn’t ready to go.” 

Rick nodded. “But the longer we stay here, the more of a risk it is. Which means we have only a few options. Stay here, risk it as long as we can, and wait for Eugene to heal.” He shifted in place. “Leave and bring him with us and hope he can heal on the road, or-”

“He’ll hold us back.” That was Michonne, blunt and honest as always, though at least she looked a bit apologetic about it. 

Tyrese, soft but firm as he held Judith by the door, chimed in, “It’s not like we haven’t traveled with someone injured before. We managed fine. We helped each other out.” Sasha smiled gently at his side, but there was a sadness in her eyes. Daryl wondered if she was thinking about Bob, and his leg. Daryl hadn’t been there when it had happened, but he’d heard the stories. And he knew, or at least he felt pretty sure, that if Bob hadn’t been bit they would have found a way to bring him with them. 

“He can barely _walk_.” That was Maggie, harsher than usual, her words causing Beth to look up at her with narrowed eyes before Maggie added, “It might make him worse, bringing him along. He almost didn’t make it here at all-” Her gaze shifted just briefly to Abe before it moved back to Rick, “-It’d be better for him to stay here, until he was stronger.” 

Rick nodded, as Daryl felt Beth relax just faintly next to him. “And if we do that, then what? Then we all stay here with him, waiting, hoping this hospital full of cops with guns don’t change their mind, and decide they aren’t okay having us around after we killed their leader?” 

“What else?” Carol asked, soft and quiet from behind him. “What other choice do we have?”

There was a measured silence, and Rick’s voice was clipped as he spoke, “We could leave him behind.” 

The words barely registered before there was a roar of anger from Abe, who lurched at Rick only to be stopped by Michonne, stepping in front of him with her hand on her blade and a warning flashing in her dark eyes. 

The whole room was so silent it felt heavy, like it was weighing down on all of their shoulders and pressuring them to make a choice. He wondered who would speak first, and he figured it would be Rick. He didn’t look forward to that as much as he might have in the past, because these days, Rick’s plans didn’t fill himself with the same sense of rightness that they once had. The man he’d once grown to trust had changed. The old Rick never would have suggested what he just had. The old Rick would never have said what Rick was probably about to say, would never have tried to convince them to leave a man behind like Daryl was pretty sure Rick was about to. He just wish he knew if Rick meant it. It used to be he could always tell what Rick was thinking, what his plan was. Now he couldn’t tell if the man really meant it, or if he was goading them, challenging them to collectively deny that suggestion.

To his surprise, the voice that finally cut into the silence wasn’t Rick’s at all. It was Beth’s. At first it was just a simple and firm, “No.” The whole room of people turned to look at Beth, as if no one was sure that word had come from her. She rarely spoke these days, except to Daryl. 

He thought she would falter under the weight of their combined gazes, but she had that thin core of steel inside of her. He knew that, even if no one else did. His girl was the strongest girl he knew. (Sometimes he couldn’t help thinking of her as his girl, despite knowing it was probably impossible. It sounded natural in his head, as natural as the doubt that always followed.) 

“No,” she said again, holding Rick’s gaze. “We’re not leaving anyone in this place. He won’t survive here without us. The moment we’re gone, they’ll kill him.” Daryl saw Abraham shudder out of the corner of his eyes, but he couldn’t look away from Beth. She was sitting up straight in the bed and those cornflower blue eyes were somehow cold as ice and yet burning with a fire inside at the same time. She was like... Like one of them goddesses, from the Greek myths they’d learned about in school before he’d dropped out. He’d had a whole book of stories about them until his Dad had found it and laughed, calling him some ‘smart sissy’ and throwing the book in the fire. 

But not before he’d read them all first, devoured every story he could about Gods and Goddesses and their fierce power and beauty. She was like that, right now. Always really, but especially like that. Sometimes she reminded him of the ones they called ‘hearth’ goddesses, all about the home and warmth and joy and birth and new things growing out of the dark and fertile soil. Other times she was like a warrior goddess, fierce and powerful and strong, slaying anyone or anything that got in her way. She was like all of them. Capable of causing destruction but also of bringing life, inspiring both terror and love, sometimes at the same time. She was... Everything. And he was enraptured.

“They’re only still helping him cause we’re here, making them. Soon as we’re gone they’ll decide he’s too weak to waste supplies on, and they’ll kill him. Like they were gonna do to Carol.” Daryl couldn’t tear his gaze away from the girl- no, _woman_ \- in front of him, but he felt the weight of Carol’s hand on his shoulder and knew Beth had her support. “If we leave him here, he is _dead_. Don’t you get that?”

“But he’s wounded, if we take him with us-” Rick seemed caught off guard by Beth’s unexpected defiance, and his words only seemed to rouse more fierceness in her as she pushed ahead, “We don’t leave behind our own.” Her gaze shifted from him, to Michonne, to Maggie, boring into her sister’s eyes for a moment before they moved back to pin Rick in place. “It don’t matter if they’re weak. It don’t matter if you think they’ll hold us back. Leaving them behind, _that_ is what will hold us back. Cause it’ll change us.” Daryl saw Father Gabriel shifting in the corner of his eye, as if something in Beth’s words pulled inside of him. 

“If we choose to leave him behind, if we start picking and choosing who to save, then we ain’t no better than them. We _are_ them. Or we’ll become them, eventually. Treating people like their only worth is how useful we think they are. Finding people we can manipulate into following us, doing what we want. That ain’t us.” Daryl watched her drag in a deep shuddering breath. “Or it didn’t used to be.” 

He dimly realized that she was clutching his hand like a lifeline, as if his touch was helping to anchor her, to give her the strength she needed to get this out. He wondered if she knew the strength was all inside her, burning like a bright flame, strong as a column of steel or stone, making her tongue fierce as a whip, and that all he was doing was making her feel safe enough for the moment to let it out.

When she finally spoke again her voice was hushed, but no less firm. “You wouldn’t leave Carol behind, you wouldn’t leave Michonne, you definitely wouldn’t leave Carl. It don’t matter if Eugene lied to us. It don’t matter if he’s weak, like- like you all thought I was, too.” He didn’t think she’d meant to say that, cause her voice caught on the words and a shudder went down her spine until he curled both his hands around hers and leaned in over the bed to be closer to her, giving her the anchor she needed to breath in and finish, “We’re supposed to be good. Good people don’t leave their family behind. So we ain’t gonna leave Eugene.” 

It seemed she had finally gotten out all she wanted to say, and Daryl was right there as some of that adrenaline went out of her and she slumped back a little on the bed. He held her hands tightly and leaned his shoulder against hers, and when she looked over at him he could just feel the admiration and pride shining in his eyes for her. _This girl._

(If they ever found a bookstore, he was gonna ransack it and find a book like the one he’d had before. He was gonna find a list of all those goddesses and maybe write her name down at the very top, because she was better than every last one of them. Maybe cause she was real. Or maybe because she was right here with him.) 

Daryl took a moment to make sure he was okay before looking out at the group again and realizing that things had subtly shifted. Abraham had come to stand by the bed, looking briefly down at Beth with a grateful look on his face and a gruff noise that he figured was the man’s way of thanking her. Daryl would have expected that finding out Eugene had lied would have made Abraham want nothing to do with him, honestly. Then again, the man had spent a long time trying to defend him, and from what he’d hurt, guilt had been just one of the things on top of a long list of burdens Abraham had faced after almost beating Eugene to death. Maybe it was guilt, keeping him from wanting the man to die. Maybe he didn’t want to know that his hands had caused a man’s death.

Tara had eased a little closer too, and though Maggie and Glenn stayed where they were, it was on Beth’s side of the room and no closer to Rick. Carol still had her hand on his shoulder where she stood behind him, and as he watched, Noah came around Carol’s side to sit down at the end of Beth’s bed, although he was careful not to sit on her legs. Father Gabriel was far more awkward about it, clearing his throat before shifting closer to their new group. Michonne looked torn, her gaze moving from the girl to Rick and back again. Carl, of course, stayed by Rick’s side. No one expected any less. Tyreese seemed focused on Judith cooing in his arms, but Daryl couldn’t help noticing he’d taken a few steps towards where Daryl sat, and Sasha had come with him.

There was that same look in Rick’s eyes that Daryl had seen back in the workplace, when he’d taken Tyreese’s side instead of Rick’s own. It was like the man was shocked, stunned, and maybe a little angry, but also measuring and considering at the same time. He looked over his group and gave them all a slow nod, accepting their decision. Daryl still couldn’t read him. Maybe he hadn’t really wanted to leave Eugene behind. It was hard to know for certain. He wanted to believe that Rick had been challenging them, playing devil’s advocate to chase the right response out of them, but... Well, it was hard to read anyone these days. Especially Rick, who he knew had changed so much more than he could have expected.

Daryl figured everyone knew that his support was with Beth, but he couldn’t help trying his broken best to follow behind her fierce and shining example. “Beth is right,” he said roughly, unable to speak as _rightly_ as she did, but not needing to.“We ain’t leaving him here. But we can’t stay, either. It ain’t safe, and we all know it. Maybe not all of those cops are bad, but...” 

His eyes narrowed briefly at the window, blocked by blinds that allowed a faint hint of movement to be glimpsed from beyond. He’d seen the way certain of the cops gathered in little clumps and talked in low voices, probably about them. Sometimes about _Beth_ , he knew, cause once he’d heard them say her name under his breath. He knew they watched her whenever she was outside her room, their gazes following her and lingering on her in a way that Beth always seemed to feel. He remembered the way she would press close to him and tremble a little whenever it happened, even as she looked them full in the eyes and glared back at them, refusing to take their stares. Just last night he’d caught one of them coming into the room. Daryl had been in his chair, eyes slitted in a way that probably looked closed in the dark room. Beth had been asleep beside him, napping in bed, and the cop had come right up to the door and taken a step inside. His hard gaze had been on Beth, and so it took him a moment to notice that Daryl had opened his own eyes and had them fixed on the cop, hand on his knife as he sat up slowly but menacingly in his seat. The cop had turned and left, but Daryl had memorized his face, and he knew Beth was right. They weren’t safe in here much longer.

Those thoughts raced through his mind in a second of pause, and then he looked right into Rick’s eyes and said firmly, “Some of them are bad. Don’t even need Beth to tell me that, t’ know it’s true. Although she has told me, and I trust her word.” 

He heard Beth’s breathing hitch faintly at his vocalized trust in her, and the corner of his lip twitched briefly but he didn’t look away from Rick just yet, although he did let more of his hands cup hers a little more firmly.

The other man was quiet for a long moment, the two of them holding each others gazes. They might not have always been on the same page lately, but the trust between them was deep. Daryl knew that Rick could be a good leader, regardless of the pressure he was under and how it had been changing him lately. And Rick knew that Daryl would have his back, if he were in the right. 

Finally Rick gave a slow nod. “Alright.” He sighed and stuck his hands in his pockets. “Alright, then. We won’t leave him.” He looked at Carl and then at Judith, who was playing with a cup and gurgling to herself, seemingly oblivious to the tension in the air or the weight of her father’s gaze on her as he added, “Then I guess we gotta decide when we’re leaving. And where we’re going, when we do.” 

Daryl finally tugged his gaze away from Rick’s, only to find Beth looking at him with a warmth in her eyes that would have floored him if he hadn’t gotten himself under control as quick as he could. He couldn’t let a room full of people see how that warm look in her eyes made his insides turn like butter, all hot and melted and surging in his veins. But the corners of his lips turned up just faintly again, and they held each others gazes for just a moment before Beth turned to look at the foot of the bed,

Noah was still sitting there, looking up at her. Daryl watched the two of them and realized there was a silent question being asked, one that had Beth slowly giving an encouraging nod. As Noah turned away, Beth shifted to lean into Daryl a little more, and she sighed out some of her tension as her new friend began, “Before I got here, I was staying in a place, in Virginia. My Mom is there, and we had good, strong walls...” 

***

By the time nearly an hour had passed, the group had made a some semblance of a plan. They would leave in two days, giving Eugene another couple days to get stronger, and Rick some time to bargain for supplies from the hospital. No one was sure if they’d be given any, but Beth had suggested the best men for them to ask. She’d also spoken up again, in a voice that had been tremulous before Daryl had squeezed her hand, suggesting they offer again to let anyone who wanted to come with them. Especially those who weren’t cops, those who had been caught here as much as she had.

Rick had considered it and given a nod, and soon everyone was filing out of the room with plans to start getting things ready. Daryl studied Beth for a moment, his eyes tracing over the sunny blonde hair that she’d pulled back into a ponytail to make it easier for the Doctor to apply the much smaller bandage now covering her gun shot wound. His gaze lingered on her cheeks and the color they seemed to regain more and more as people began to filter out of the room. He couldn’t help noticing how the tension eased from her bit by bit as the room emptied.

Just as she turned to him with a questioning look, Daryl shifted off his seat with one last squeeze to her hand. “Be right back.” 

“Daryl-”

He wasn’t gonna leave her room, though. Of course he wasn’t. He just wanted to stop Tyreese before _he_ left. “Hey, hold up.” The larger man turned towards him with a quizzical expression as Daryl stopped in front of him. He shuffled his foot on the ground just once, but the thought of the sweet girl sitting behind him on her bed as him asking a little gruffly, “Can we... Keep Judith, just for a little bit?” 

As soon as he asked, Tyreese’s expression softened. His warm dark eyes shifted to look at Beth before bouncing back to Daryl, and there was a hint of an understanding expression in his eyes when they did. “Course you can,” Tyreese said simply, as Daryl felt relief uncurl inside of him. “As long as y’ want.” Though then he seemed to think about it for a moment, and maybe Tyreese was more perceptive than Daryl had given any of them credit for, because he glanced over at Beth one more time and then said, “How ‘bout I stop by again, in ‘bout a half hour or so? See if Judith is hungry?”

Daryl, grateful that the man seemed to understood, just nodded. And before Beth could say anything in protest from behind him, he was taking the girl into his arms and turned back to the bed as Tyreese left. The room was finally empty, just him and Beth again, alone except for the baby (toddler, really) in his arms. She was a hell of a lot heavier than he remembered, and he chuckled as he shifted her in his arms. “Lil’Asskicker is gettin’ big, fast.”

He glanced up just in time to catch the faint hint of amusement that crossed Beth’s face before worry and fear replaced it and he saw her hands start to tremble. “Don’t,” he said gruffly, cutting off the protests he knew were about to spring to her lips. “This little girl missed you,” he said, keeping the end of that sentence ( _and you missed her, too_ ) silent for now. 

If he thought what he was about to do was going to hurt her or trigger her in any way, there wasn’t a chance he would have done it. Daryl would have hurt himself in a heartbeat rather than cause any pain to the strong-yet-fragile girl sitting on the bed before him. He knew this wasn’t going to hurt her. He knew the difference between the way she tensed and panicked at the touch of people besides him, and the way her hands shook when she looked at Judith with longing deep in her blue eyes. He knew she wanted this. No, he knew she _needed_ this, even if she didn’t want to admit it. 

So he crossed the distance between them and held Judith under her arms to lower her down into Beth’s lap, and just as he’d expected, Beth only hesitated a moment. Just one second, one flicker of anxious worry, one dark hint of _not-worthy_ , and her hands curled gently around Judith’s tiny waist. “Hello, sweet pea.” Judith looked up at her, a little smile on her chubby-cheeked face. “Oh, you’ve gotten so big, little one.” Judith’s mouth opened wide with a flash of pink gums and then she was burbling away, happy as she always seemed to be. Beth seemed to tremble, but not in panic anymore. No, this was the tremble of tension easing away, of something un-knotting inside of her as she reached down and wrapped her arms around the little toddler just as tightly as was safe to.

Daryl watched as she buried her face against Judith’s sweet, downy-soft hair and breathed in deep only to exhale in a whisper, “I missed you, sweet girl.” He felt that warmth swirling around inside of him, swelling up to fill him whole and banish away even the slightest hint of the self-doubt that liked to dig it’s claws deep into his belly and heart. Even that self doubt couldn’t hold up in the face of Beth Greene, smiling down at that little baby, her whole face lighting up as Judith began to coo and burble and play with her hair.

Yeah. He’d done a good thing.

***

Later, after Judith had gone back to Tyreese (but only after Beth had asked to spend some time with her tomorrow, much to Daryl’s pleasure), and after they’d taken a walk together around the hospital floor, they found themselves back in her room again with the door shut and locked for the night. She seemed the most relaxed she’d been all day, and he knew that was not only because of her time with Judith but also the way she’d been able to speak up at the meeting today.

Rather than laying under the sheets, Beth was sitting on top of them with her jean-clad legs tucked up underneath her. She’d refused to wear scrubs again, though Doctor Edwards had offered the day after she’d started walking around her room again. Daryl himself had refused to let her wear the yellow shirt that was stained with blood from the day he’d almost lost her forever, and he didn’t think she’d have worn it anyway, even if he hadn’t protested. But they hadn’t had many choices, here. To his surprise it had been Rosita who had unexpectedly offered her an extra t-shirt to wear. Daryl hadn’t even thought she had anything other than those cut-off tank-tops she was always wearing, but she’d come brusquely into the room and offered Beth a simple, fitted gray t-shirt. “Figured we were about the same size,” she’d said as she handed her the shirt, and joked, “Though I thought you’d prefer one I hadn’t cut half the bottom off, yet.” 

(Beth had said thanks and actually laughed softly, but for the rest of the day Daryl couldn’t stop thinking about Beth in a little cropped shirt, with the smooth pale skin of her belly exposed, sweet and so tempting that just the image made his hand twitch with a need to touch it.)

Now she wore that shirt with her old jeans, torn up but mercifully free of blood, and she looked comfortable, although he found himself thinking as he watched her that the first place they found with clothes, he’d get her something better to wear. Something yellow, like her hair. Like her sunshine smile.

It took him a moment to realize she was looking at him too. Daryl looked up and their eyes met, and to his surprise the studious way she was looking over at him had him flushing faintly. He scrubbed his hand over the back of his neck and asked gruffly, “What?” 

Beth watched him for a moment longer, making him shift in his seat. She didn’t know what her stare could do to him. This wasn’t even the real intense one, the one that looked through him and right into his soul and saw everything that he was and ever had been. But it was still intense under the weight of her eyes, that perfect blue lingering on his skin and tracing over the lines of his face almost as lightly as he imagined her fingers might. She didn’t know how it made his breath hitch a bit, or how his chest got a little tight, or how sometimes (just sometimes) he wondered if she’d still look at him like that if he told her it made him want to kiss her. 

(The few times he’d thought it he’d shoved it right away, cause a guy like him had no right kissing someone as perfect as her, okay?)

He was just about to ask her ‘what’ again, when she gave him with one of those slow, sweet smiles. “You need a haircut.” 

And of course he couldn’t protest, not when she was looking at him like that. Which was how he ended up with his chair scooted up right onto the bed and her sitting in front of him on the edge of the bed, her legs on either side as she held scissors in her hand and curled a length of dark greasy hair through her fingers. He tried not to think about how if she moved just an inch or so forward she might slip off the bed and into his lap. He tried even harder not to think about how easy it might be to reach up and grab her thighs and pull her down all on his own.

Her face was so close to his as she began to gently trim his hair, starting with the hair that always hung into his eyes. Close enough that her breath grazed his skin again as she spoke, making him remember the surge of emotion in the moment when he’d realized she was still alive. “I won’t cut too much,” she murmured when her gaze found his for a moment and she seemed to read concern in the turmoil. He was just glad she couldn’t see everything else he was thinking. “I kinda like it long.” Beth paused to trim another bit of hair, and he was surprised to notice there was a hint of a flush to her cheeks. “It suits you. You do this thing sometimes where it falls in your eyes and you just sort of look through it. It’s...” Beth paused and a hundred words flooded through his mind to finish that sentence, half of which he was sure he’d never hear from Beth Greene’s lips. 

“It’s nice,” was what she said softly, but before his stomach could sink too much at such a simple word, she paused just long enough to hold his gaze and murmur, “It’s _real_ nice.” 

And that, combined with her closeness and the smell of strawberries that lingered in the air around her and the occasional brush of her fingers across his forehead, was better than any of the ways Daryl could have imagined that sentence ending.

Because they were her words, and they were all for him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was worried when editing this that Daryl was coming off a bit poetic. Part of my fix for that was to include a lot of mentions of his own doubts when it comes to his worthiness. However, as I was editing I remembered the scene with Daryl and Carol and the Cherokee Rose story, and I think that Daryl has the capability to think about things like that a lot more than people might expect. He just keeps it all inside well.
> 
> I was also a little concerned about Rick and how he comes off in this episode. Hopefully the dual-possibilities with Rick come off well. Is he going bad? Is he just testing them? Since this is essentially from Daryl's perspective, some of what we see Rick do is tinged with his own concerns. I don't think Rick is a horrible person, but Daryl definitely has some doubts about his decision making lately, so that was how I tried to play it.
> 
> ANYWAY, I hope you all liked it. Please let me know what you thought! Next chapter should be tomorrow, and from Beth's perspective.
> 
> (And also, because I can't resist, this is totally Daryl during Beth's speech scene:)
> 
>  


	6. She Saved Herself

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The group's plan to leave the hospital goes off without a hitch... until it doesn't.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for this chapter being a bit late today, I was having trouble finding the right words. I hope you all like it still, although I'm a little worried you won't. It's more action than intimate moments, but that's important to keep the story moving so we can get to more of those intimate moments! 
> 
> (Trigger warnings: Mentions of Beth's past assault, as well as hints at some of the other things the cops have done to other women. Nothing too detailed.)

Her hands couldn’t seem to keep still. They busily made up her bed, smoothing over her pillow for the last time, tucking in her sheets. It was probably silly since she was never going to sleep in this bed again, but it was habit. Unfortunately, habit meant it didn’t take very long to finish, and her hands kept itching for more. She neatened up the room, straightened her clothes, even took the time to brush her hair back into a ponytail (flinching at the feeling of the small bandage under her fingers) and tie it back.

Beth didn’t know what else to do. She stood by the side of her bed looking down at the smooth sheets and wondering if this was really happening. If she was really, finally leaving. How many weeks had she been trapped in this place? If she took the time to think about it, she could probably say exactly how many, because it felt like each and every day was seared into her brain. The first day when Gorman had found her in the cafeteria ( _when someone does you a favor, it’s a courtesy to show some appreciation_ ) and Dawn had slapped her for no reason ( _try to grasp the stakes here_ ). The day one of the cops had grabbed her wrist hard and slammed her into the wall because she didn’t move quickly enough out of his way. ( _next time you wanna walk so slow in front of me, at least move those hips for me, bitch_ ) The day she’d held down a woman while they cut off her limb ( _keep your hands off me! i’m not going back to him!_ ). The day she saw one of those cops leaving a room and looked in to find Ivy laying on the bed, crying, with bruises on her wrist ( _it’s okay, he said if i was good to him once, he wouldn’t do it again_ ). The day Dawn had found those cuts on her wrist and told her how worthless she was ( _out there you are nothing, except dead or someone’s burden._ ) The day she’d killed Gorman and failed to escape ( _you’re not a fighter._ ), the day Dawn had slapped her, again ( _no one’s coming!_ ), the day they’d tried to kill Carol ( _you just killed that woman_ ), the day she’d helped Dawn kill O’Donnel ( _stay in your lane, bitch!_ ), the day she’d almost given up her own life to save Noah’s ( _they always come back_ ).

Every single day was so clear in her mind, seared into her brain like the brands Daddy had sealed onto the rumps of their cattle back on the farm. It didn’t help that they all seemed to flare to life at night, burning her, making their way into her dreams and reminding her again and again of what she’d faced here every day. Sometimes, the past would mingle with the present, too. Beth would dream of going into that man’s room and giving him medicine and watching him seize up and die, only to look down and see her Daddy reaching up for her, his throat slit, a smile on his lips. She’d dream of being outside, sunlight on her face and the pavement pounding beneath her feet, almost escaping, only to watch as one of them shot and killed Noah before dragging her to the ground. She dreamed of the hallway and the elevator shaft, of watching Dawn struggling with her fellow officer and then begging for help, of turning and shoving down the elevator shaft, only to look up and see that it was Daryl and he was reaching for her as he fell to his death.

Every night she woke up shuddering, but every night she also woke up to Daryl squeezing her hand, leaning over her, whispering in that rough low voice that it was okay, it was just a dream. Each night he started out next to her in the chair, but he always ended up in the bed with her. Usually beside her, letting her sleep curled up against him and pressed to his chest. She never had nightmares after that. Maybe she got it out of her system in the beginning of the night, but Beth had a feeling it was because she felt so safe in his arms and tucked against his chest, breathing in that scent of leather and dirt and cigarettes, knowing nothing could get to her. She wanted to spend every night like that in his arms, keeping it all away from the both of them.

But they couldn’t, and Beth was afraid. She wanted to get out of this hospital so badly, wanted to get away from it’s clean white walls that somehow felt more like a prison than the actual prison they’d stayed at ever had. She wanted to get away from the memories that haunted her, or at least the constant reminders of them. She wanted to get away from the cops. But she didn’t want this thing with Daryl, whatever it was, to change. He was always at her side, almost always there to hold her hand when she needed it. He held her when she had nightmares, he had her back when she stood up for herself... And then there was the way that he looked at her. Those dark blue eyes would hold hers like they had that night in the funeral home, but a hundred times more intense, just like the rush of feelings that swamped her and swirled through her body and everything feel all... _fluttery_. God, she didn’t want to lose that, not without even knowing what it all meant, but she was so afraid that as soon as they were out of here it would all change. Wouldn’t it have to?

“Hey.” Daryl’s voice came from behind her, soft and measured, just one word but enough to make her smile. She turned her head slightly, just enough to see him coming out of the bathroom and running his fingers through his same wet hair that she’d trimmed so carefully the other night. (Even thinking about that conjured up the memory of his face so close to hers, the way this burning hot look would flash briefly through his eyes each time her fingers grazed his skin.)

“Hey...” Her tone was warm but softer than usual, with a hint of the anxiety she felt. That worry was still inside of her, like some dark cloud that had grown claws and decided to sink them into her stomach and heart and curl up tight there to make it’s home. Beth hadn’t even realized that she was standing there twisting her fingers back and forth around her wrist until Daryl came up beside her and slid his hand down her arm. His fingers nudged hers away, and when she felt the rough pads of them graze over the scars there, Beth gave a little shudder.

His voice was soft, but it cut through her thoughts. “Y’ don’t have you're bracelets.” 

Beth looked up at him, surprise widening her eyes. She hadn’t thought he’d ever noticed them before, but of course that was stupid. Daryl noticed everything, and that extended far beyond the tracks and signs that deer and walkers left in the woods. Of course he’d noticed the bracelets she’d worn on her wrists every day since the farm. She had no doubt he knew exactly what they had been for, too, that they’d covered up the scars she’d left behind on her own skin in that mistaken attempt to end her own life. 

“They took them,” Beth murmured softly as she looked up and held his gaze. “I... I don’t know where they are. I think maybe they threw them out.” 

He was quiet, just brushing his fingers over the soft ridges of her scar in a way that made her breath hitch a bit in her throat. Beth couldn’t look away from him and the complete concentration on his face as he looked down at her wrist and hand. Every day in this place alone she had thought about him, and sometimes it was still hard to believe he was here, that she wasn’t imagining him. That he was real.

(She thought she dimly recalled asking him that one night, if he was real. She’d woken up mid-nightmare to his arms curling around her as he drew her to his chest to keep her warm and safe, and the question had spilled from her lips in a hazy murmur: “Are you real?” His low chuckle flitted through her mind even as she recalled it now, but she was pretty sure she also remembered him resting his cheek against her hair and murmuring back in a voice that matched her own, “Are you?”)

“I’ll find y’ new ones.” 

His quiet words had looking up at him, her brow faintly furrowed. “You don’t have to...” 

Daryl looked up and caught her eyes, holding them long enough for that little flush of heat to curl into her belly. “I’ll find y’ new ones,” he said again, firmly this time.

A smile tugged at her lips, impossible to resist. “Thank you.” Her hand turned in his so she could graze her fingers against his palm, and they stood there for just a moment in comfortable silence before he eventually sighed and stepped back. Beth felt a pang at the thought that he was pulling away, that there might not be any more moments like this when it was just the two of them alone in her room and comforting each other. 

“Got something for ya.” He spoke gruffly, but she could read his voice well enough now to hear the hints of deeper emotion in his speech as he stuck his hand into his pocket. There was a shyness in his eyes, too, and the way he scuffed his feet on the ground. Whatever it was, he was unsure about what her reaction might be, maybe even hopeful, and that made Beth’s lips curve up in a reassuring smile as she joked, “Well don’t tease me, Daryl. What is it?” 

His lips quirked up as he offered her his present, and it only took Beth a moment to realize what it was. Her knife. The one he’d helped her find and showed her how to use, when it had been just the two of them on the run together. “Daryl...” She reached out and ran her fingers over the bone handle, brushing her fingers against his in the process and sending a little flush of heat skittering through her hand and right up her arm. “How?”

Of course he shrugged like it was nothing, even though it wasn’t, not to either of them. “Got Rick t’ get it. Would have asked about th’ bracelets, if I knew.”

“That’s okay,” she said softly, “This is better.” 

Daryl looked like he wanted to smile, only then their eyes met and held and whatever he felt right then had his eyes going a little darker as he swallowed hard and closed the gap between them. “Here.” She felt acutely aware of his body so close to hers as he reached down between them to grip the knife. She wasn’t even sure what he was doing until he dug the knife into the bottom of the shirt and ripped it with a drag of the blade.

“Daryl!”

Without stopping, he tore off a strip of fabric and clutched it in his hand. “Shush. Here,” he said lowly, reaching between them to slide her knife carefully into the front pocket of her jeans. “Y’ keep that close, till we can find y’ a sheath for it, yeah?” Beth nodded, cause she wasn’t sure she could get out words when he was standing so damn close to her, his presence all around her and the only thing she could feel. If it had been anyone else she would have been panicking to get away, but when it was Daryl, all she seemed to want was for him to stay right there, nice and close.

As she watched him, mesmerized, he reached down and picked up her wrist, cradling it in those rough, worn hands that somehow always managed to be so gentle with her. They were so gentle right now as he cupped her hand and turned it over, one thumb brushing lightly over her scars. She was too fascinated to ask him what he was doing. Beth just watched as he took that strip of fabric and tied it gently around her wrist with a solid knot before turning it around so the strip of fabric pressed over her scar. 

A bracelet. He’d cut his own shirt, just to make her a bracelet so her wrist wouldn’t have to be empty and exposed.

“There.” He looked up at her, thumb brushing over the fabric, and Beth was pretty sure that for the moment she forgot how to breathe. “Better?”

Again, all she could do was nod and swallow that thick feeling building up in her throat. She could barely find words. Yet everyone thought _he_ was the silent one of the pair? The thought made her chuckle inside, and a smile tugged at her lips as she managed to respond finally, “Yes. It’s perfect. Thank you, Daryl. For... Everything.” 

“Ain’t nothin’.” It was his constant refrain, but another thing that Beth had long come to accept as being Daryl-speak for ‘you’re welcome, don’t mention it again’. After everything he’d done for her, Beth could give him that without a doubt.

“C’mon,” he said after one last brush of his finger over the strip of fabric that now decorated her wrist. “Time to get out of here.” 

Beth couldn’t even bring herself to be anxious about it when he had that look in his eyes, like all he wanted was to get her away from here and safe. She didn’t even realize the same look was mirrored in her own. 

***

The plan seemed to go off without a hitch at first. Rick had secured only a few supplies for them, trading a half day of some manual labor to get a small amount of food as well as antibiotics for Beth and pain meds for Eugene. It wasn’t much, but it was what they needed most, and they could find the rest once they got out of the city. They’d survived by scavenging before, and they could do that again. Beth believed more than she ever had before that they could get, they could survive, they could find away. She remembered the terror of being pulled from the farm she’d grown up on, the fright of fleeing the falling prison... She felt none of that, now. They would find a way, the way they always did. The way she and Daryl had, on their own in the woods.

He was standing tall at her side (always at her side) as they gathered outside the hospital, their group collecting around them. Rick, Carl, Michonne were checking each other’s weapons, Tyreese was holding Judith as he spoke with Carol, Sasha was helping Noah to test his ankle as he walked, Eugene was leaning up against the wall and fussing with his bandages as Abraham and Rosita stood on either side of him, Father Gabriel was keeping to himself, and Maggie, Glenn, and Tara forming a little trio just in the corner of Beth’s eyes. 

(She did her best not to look at them, standing there. Not just because Maggie kept giving her this hurt-puppy expression, as if she was the one who had any right to be upset with their relationship right now, but also because of how Tara was with them. How she fit right in as their third, slotting into the same spot that Beth had once held. It stung, though she wasn’t willing to admit that to anyone except Daryl, and even then in just the look in her eyes when she glanced away from them to him.)

And their group had grown. At Beth’s insistence Rick had asked once more if anyone wanted to come, this time pointedly to the captive ‘patients’ of the hospital and not just the cops. In the end just three had chosen to come with them, but it was better than nothing. Beth couldn’t speak to why the others had stayed, although she knew that some people were treated better than others here, that some thought they were safer too, with the walkers kept at bay. Sometimes the evil you knew was better than the unknown. Her Daddy had told her that, once. ( _Better the devil you know than the devil you don’t, Bethy._ )

Rick had sat each one of them done and looked measuringly into their eyes as he asked them the three questions that assured them entry into the group. The first to request to join them had been Henry (or Hank, as he liked to be called), the older man who had helped Beth to steal the medicine she needed for Carol. Beth was glad. He had been one of the few bright spots for her in the hospital. A few times they got put on kitchen duty together and he would hum songs to make her smile and once, when she joined in with him softly under her breath (she didn’t sing much anymore) he told that she reminded him of his daughter. Given that his white beard and hearty laugh always caused pangs in the empty part of her left behind by her father’s death, that had only cemented their new friendship and her affection for him. There was no way she would let him stay here, where the cops seemed to take particular fun in pushing him around. If anyone questioned his age, or his resemblance to her lost father, they didn’t do it out loud. Beth would have given them her best Daryl Dixon glare, if they had.

The other two were both women, who Beth knew had been under the eyes of certain cops. Ivy, an [overly thin](http://kissthemgoodbye.net/twd/albums/SEASON%205/episodes/4/normal_The_Walking_Dead_S05E04_1080p_KISSTHEMGOODBYE_NET_0167.jpg) woman with long brown hair and haunted eyes, was just a few years older than Beth herself, and had been one of the first people she’d seen in the hospital besides those considered ‘staff’. After remembering Ivy shivering and alone in bed with bruises on her wrists and that haunted look in her eyes, Beth hadn’t hesitated to convince her to come with them. It made her feel better now, seeing Ivy standing against Hank’s side, even managing a faint smile when the older man whispered something funny in her ear. Lynn stood to their left, slightly off to the side and distant as she tended to be. She was older, maybe somewhere about 5 years younger than Carol (it was so hard to tell these days), with short red curls that had gone grey and a slim, small body. Beth had been surprised to see her volunteering to come. Lynn had always kept to herself and had never really spoken to Beth, but she knew the woman had suffered here like they all did. She’d seen the relief in Lynn’s eyes when they’d found out that Gorman was dead. Beth understood that feeling well. 

They moved as soon as Rick said it was time; the formation they fell into almost automatic by now. Rick took the lead with his pistol in hand and Carl at his back. Michonne was off to the side, her hand on the hilt of her katana and ready for any sign of trouble. Glenn and Maggie took up position the back, side by side and both with weapons in their hands, while Tyreese and Judith stuck to the center along with Father Gabriel, Eugene (propped up by Tara), Noah (carrying a gun, though in the center because of his limp) and their newest additions. Carol, though still weak, joined them with a gun in her hands as well, having refused to just be coddled in any way. Sasha, Abraham, and Rosita both had weapons, too, but they stayed moving around the perimeter of the group’s circle as they moved away from the hospital. 

To be honest, Beth had half expected them to push her into the center with the others, and so it hadn’t really caught her off guard when Rick stepped back and nodded for her to do just that. “Don’t worry,” he said, catching her fleeting glance back up at the hospital and misunderstanding, “We’ll keep you safe.”

She opened her mouth to protest, the heated assertion that she could take care of herself about to spring to her lips. Only before she could, Daryl shook his head. “She stays with me,” he said lowly, and any question that he was just saying it because he wanted to protect her himself was dashed when he reached towards the small of his back and pulled out a pistol to hand to her. “Beth can handle it.” Without giving Rick any time to protest, he guided her slightly to the place (at the front and a little to the side) where he usually took his position. “Come on, girl.” 

The hospital at her back had Beth all on edge, with that feeling like someone was watching them, making the hairs on the back of her neck stand up. Yet she still managed a smile when Daryl handed her that gun and it settled easily into her hand. He was holding his crossbow loaded, though he had a rifle slung over his back as well, right between those angel wings, and another knife in a sheath on his hip. She knew he had to be just on edge as she was, and yet she appreciated so much that his instinct had been to arm her rather than push her into a circle where he could protect her.

“Thanks,” she breathed out softly, giving a quick glance up at him before looking away.

“Ain’t nothin’,” he said, same as always. This time though, he added after a moment, “Noah told me how good y’ are, with a pistol. Told me how y’ helped him get out, took down somethin’ like ten walkers.” 

“Yeah, well...” She was flushed with pride in herself, and pleasure at _his_ pride, but she wasn’t the type to brag. “I had good teachers.” The words were simple, but conjured up so many images. Rick, teaching her to use a gun for the first time back on the farm. Daryl, in the woods, teaching her that and so much more. How to aim, how to track, how to use a knife, how to fire his crossbow. (How to keep going, even when it felt like the world wanted you to give up.) It had been his training with a crossbow that had helped her get better at aiming the gun, and she was more than grateful for that. Grateful enough that she couldn’t resist a gentle squeeze to his arm in thanks again.

None of them needed distracting though, and Beth wasn’t gonna be the one to mess with that by pulling his focus to her. She settled right at his side, gun in hand as the group made their way out of the hospital grounds and onto the dangerous streets. The plan had been to head back to the warehouse they’d been holed up in, grab their cars, and get onto the road to get as far from Atlanta as they could before stopping for the night. Being in the city was dangerous, even without a hospital full of potentially angry cops at your back.

Beth knew she wasn’t the only one who had expected more of a fight in them trying to get away from the hospital, but to her surprise most of the cops had seemed relieved to see them go. It was as if they’d been just as on edge waiting for something to snap and a fight to break out, or maybe waiting for them to try and take the place over themselves. Even knowing that, even seeing their relief, she had felt amazed at how easily they’d left the building, how easily they’d managed to get back into the streets and start putting distance between them and the building she never wanted to go back to. Beth still couldn’t breathe easy, didn’t think she’d be able to until they were well out of the city, but she couldn’t deny the faint twinge of relief inside of her as a hint of tension eased from her tightened shoulders.

Unfortunately, she’d let her tension ease too soon. That respite only lasted until they turned the corner about halfway between the hospital and the warehouse and found the road blocked off by two police cars and one cross-marked black car. Ranged out behind the protection of the cars and their open doors were four cops, all with guns pointing right at them. Beth instantly noted their faces with a complete lack of surprise. Branson, Hicks, Lewis, and Kent. All of them men, All of them the same cops who had had their eyes on her, watching her in the hallways, whispering her name when she and Daryl walked by. All of them the same cops who had been so close to Gorman and O’Donnell, before she’d killed one and helped Dawn to kill the other.

“Stop right there,” Branson said, aiming his pistol at them through the open car window where he crouched behing the door.

“Come on now,” Rick replied in that slow voice, so far not giving the group the signal for them to lower their weapons. His head slowly tilted as he stared the man down. “We don’t want any trouble.”

“Neither do we,” said Branson, his gun trained on Rick as the other three picked out targets in the group but held their ground. “We just think the rest of them were a bit too hasty to let you go, all things considered. See, we’re big on people paying their debts, up at Grady, and it seems to us ya’ll owe us quite a bit more than we got.” 

“We don’t owe you shit,” Daryl shot back, completely ignoring the way Rick waved a hand at him to stop. He was holding up the crossbow, aiming right at the leader, the muscles in his arm tight and defined with the strength it took to keep the bow level. Beth stood beside and slightly behind him, her gun raised and ready.

“Now we all know that isn’t true. Seems to us ya’ll owe us quite a bit. You got seven people in your group there who haven’t paid their debts off yet, for the care they received, and that ain’t even counting all the food ya’ll ate while we kept you nice and safe and warm. And that’s definitely not counting what little Bethy over there owes us, for Gorman.” Branson’s eyes flickered to her, but she refused to react, refuse to give any sign that his words had chilled her. “Never did believe that bullshit Dawn tried to feed us, about how he just happened to get caught by that little bitch of his when she turned. Not with you and your little friend making a run for it the same damn day.” 

His gun twitched faintly towards her and Beth saw Daryl tensing beside her. It seemed instinctive for him to want to step in front of her, and yet at the same time to trust her to keep herself safe. Despite the lines of his body being filled with tension, Daryl stayed still as Branson went on in that low voice, repeating words she’d heard so many times before by now, “You owe us.” 

Those three words settled over her, and for a moment she thought they might drag her down somewhere dark and scary, but instead they did the opposite. They woke her up. She felt so _aware_ , of everything around her as her focus narrowed and everything she heard and saw and felt got so sharp and crisp. The four cops lined up in front of them, behind the barricade of the three cars. Three cars. Four cops. Beth’s eyes narrowed as she scanned over them. Branson and Hicks were partners, so they’d come in one, which left Lewis and Kent. Would those two have come in separate cars, just to create more of a blockade? There was no need to, and besides... They weren’t partners. Lewis was partnered with Evans, the one woman who was a part of that twisted group, and Kent was almost never without his buddy and partner Kanz. The two of them were always together, laughing at each other’s disgusting remarks about every woman in the hospital. 

The world seemed to slow down as she focused, as her brain whirred away. She remembered back to being in the forest, alone with Daryl. The way he’d crouched down and gestured to her to study the patterns in the leaves and dirt, the marks that just looked like nothing to her day after day, until suddenly she could see just what he’d been pointing out. The way he’d gone all still and told her to listen, helped her to pick out the sound of babbling water in the distance, the snap of a twig under a deer’s hoof, the low groan of a walker nearby. How she’d learned to focus until everything around her went hushed and she could focus on each individual sound and tease them out like a stray thread out of fabric.

They weren’t in the woods anymore, but she could hear just the same. To her right came the sharp, worried breathing of the group of former hospital captives at the center of their group. In front of her she could hear Daryl’s slow, measured breathing, the faint crinkle of leather shifting as his shoulders bunched in anticipation. Almost distantly she heard Rick, arguing in that slow measured voice, trying to convince them to give up, and behind her... behind her.... _there_. A faint scrape against pavement, the rustle of fabric, the press of a boot to concrete. 

Beth noticed Daryl’s head starting to turn but she was already spinning around, gun raised to freeze with it inches from Kanz’s head. “I wouldn’t, if I were you. In fact, I’d stop right there.” 

Kanz had his gun in his hands, but given that she had hers pointed right between his eyes, she was pretty sure she had the upper hand here. Especially when Daryl turned slowly behind her, bow in hand. 

“Beth?” That wasn’t worry in his voice, that was all trust. Measured and slow, asking _her_ what she needed from him, instead of the other way around.

“There’s another one missing, if my thinking is right. Lewis, the one up there on the far right, he’s got a female partner, and she’s got no problem with what they get up to. She ain’t here, that I can see, but I bet she’s close by.” A flash of memory came into her mind, Dawn talking about putting Kanz on watch, up on the roof. “Maybe up high. I think they used her as a sniper, sometimes.” 

Beside her, Daryl began to scan the buildings with his crossbow lifted, as Beth kept her hand steady. She didn’t dare look at the group behind her, didn’t take her gaze away from Kanz for a second, not even as she heard Rick start to speak again, “Let’s just work this out. You let us by, we’ll give you back your friend here. Sound like a deal?”

“Not the kind of deal I’m looking for.” The sound of the smile in Branson’s voice very nearly made Beth shiver. “And I’ve still got the upper hand.” 

Beth wasn’t sure if that was the signal, or if she’d missed something with her back turned, but as soon as the words fell from Branson’s lips, she heard a whizzing whine, and a thunk, and a scream. “No!” Beth hadn’t realized she’d shouted it until the word was spilling from her lips and she was turning her head away just in to see Lynn fall to the ground at the center of the group. Like an idea she looked away, even if only for a few seconds, but it was just enough to see the blood spilling from Lynn’s head across the street, and it was just long enough for Kanz to make his move and grab for her gun.

Suddenly, it all seemed to go to hell. She vaguely heard the sound of Daryl’s crossbow releasing a bolt, perhaps aiming up at the sniper who’d taken out Lynn. Around her there were screams, and then gunshots began to ring out, but all of that was a dim noise in the background. Kanz had his hand wrapped around hers over the gun, struggling to pull it from her. He used his strength and his grip to pull her close, to tug her body up against his and give himself the advantage. He had the size and strength and like this, he had her beat, because she knew that she couldn’t take him up close chest to chest, couldn’t win at wresting the gun away from him.

But she didn’t have to, and Beth knew that. She remembered that one brief day of lessons with Daryl, when she’d asked him to tell her what a smaller person could do in a fight with a much bigger opponent. Especially one that underestimated them. Beth went unexpectedly limp, putting all her weight on the gun and forcing Kanz to readjust his balance and lean over to compensate. Just when she had him moving she shifted, finding her feet and lurching up, bringing her knee with her to slam it into his groin. Kanz dropped to his knees with a groan, and Beth didn’t hesitate to tug the pistol away from him, turning it in her hands to slam it down butt first onto his head and knock him completely out. He wasn’t dead... Or at least she didn’t think he was. God knew she wasn’t trying to kill him, no matter how bad he was. The last thing she wanted was another man’s blood on her hands.

Shuddering and gasping for breath, she turned around to see Daryl, his crossbow raised as if he’d been planning to shoot Kanz to save her only to realize he didn’t need to. For just one moment their eyes met in the chaos, and he nodded at her, slow and sure. “Good job.” The moment held, the second feeling like ages, until his voice turned brisk again. “Come on, Greene. This situation ain’t gonna turn around on it’s own.” 

But their group had a better handle on it than the cops had probably expected. Abraham and Rosita had gotten their injured and unarmed members off to the side of the road to crouch behind an abandoned van on the right, leaving Lynn’s body abandoned and exposed in the street. Tyreese had followed, his big body turned to shield Judith from the gunfire. Rick stood, gun raised, and as Beth watched he dropped Hicks with one shot, leaving only two cops standing.

Branson had ducked behind the cars and started scuttling to the left where Beth couldn’t see him anymore, but Lewis rounded the other side to come face to face with Michonne, her blade raised. All it took was one kick to knock his gun away, and then Michonne’s katana came down to slice across his neck, sending a spray of blood across the hood of the cop car even as his body fell to the ground in a slump.

“Where is he?” Beth breathed out, trying to remain calm as her gaze search methodically for the one cop that had disappeared. The last thing they needed was for him to go get reinforcements, or to come around and take them out from behind when they weren’t paying attention anymore. She was determined to find him but this time, Daryl heard it before she did. He turned, crossbow loaded and raised, just in time to see Officer Branson rounded a car on their side and raising his gun to take aim at Beth.

“You’re mine, you little b-”

Whatever he was gonna say next, it was cut off by the arrow Daryl sent right through his throat in a clean, smooth shot, sending the man right to the ground. Beth, shuddering, looked up to see Daryl’s eyes meeting hers all steady and reassuring. With a surprisingly casual little shrug, he said, “Figured y’ got the first one, I’d take care of th’ second. Just keepin’ it nice an’ even.” 

Relief had her body trembling but she managed a slow nod back at him before Daryl turned to retrieve his bolt and discretely prevent the officer from rising again. Beth was just turning to check and make sure Kanz wasn’t going to get up when something slammed into her front. Oh god oh god, he was up, he’d gotten up and now he was going to kill her! She barely bit back a scream as she shoved her hands out, frantic, clawing to get free until a voice began to penetrate, “Beth, Beth! Oh god, Bethy, are you okay?” Only then did she realize it was Maggie, clinging to her, holding her tight, crying out that damned nickname without even realizing that it made Beth feel sick.

All of it made Beth feel sick; not just what they’d done in defense of their lives, but also being trapped in Maggie’s arms like this, held so tight she could feel the breath leaving her as her lungs fought to expand. “Beth, are you okay, did Daryl save you?” 

Suddenly Beth had the strength to press her hands to Maggie’s chest and _shove_ her away, dragging in a frantic gasp of air to fill her lungs before she hissed, “Let me _go_ , Maggie!”

She spun around to flee, only to come face to face with Daryl’s chest. He was always right there when she needed him and god, did she need him right now. Beth’s fingers curled into his shirt as she struggled to catch her breath, dragging it in and out and trying to match the rise and fall of his chest beneath her fingers. There was a roaring in her ears, but even through it she heard Daryl say lowly to her sister, “She saved herself.” 

In the silence that followed, Beth tipped her head back to look up at him, tired but so grateful. Their eyes met and held, and she felt everything around them slow once again, as if it was only them and the emotion in his eyes that was mirrored in hers as she curled her fingers into his shirt. Finally, she opened her mouth to say thank you, but before she could the silence around them was broken by a much more frightening sound. Low sick groans echoed down the streets and getting closer by the moment, raised in chorus and accented by the shuffling of dragged feet on concrete. _Walkers_. A lot of them, by the sound of it. Cities like Atlanta were dangerous to begin with; they all knew that a gunfight was pretty much akin to standing in the middle of the road and shouting ‘hey walkers, come get me!’. 

“We gotta go,” Rick said as he stood up from checking the body of poor Lynn. “We gotta go _now_.”

So they ran again, even though it tore at Beth’s heart to leave Lynn behind in the middle of the road, her blood staining the street so close to the hospital she’d been desperate to escape. Beth ran with all of them, clutching her gun close, still panting to catch her breath as they fled the horde of walkers that threatened to catch them.

But she also ran with Daryl at her side, his hand raised to squeeze her arm and help to keep her going, and despite what had just happened and what was threatening to overtake them again, Beth knew that he’d keep her safe.

No. They’d keep _each other_ safe.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've edited this like three times, and it still feels sucky to me but ugh, I hope you guys didn't hate that! I know a lot of you seem to love the private moments between the two of them most, so I hope the one at the beginning of this chapter was enough to tide you over. We needed this action to keep things moving, and plus the other point of this fic for me (besides giving Bethyl the story they deserve) is to give BETH the chance she deserves to shine. I hope she shined for you in this scene, like the bamf she is!
> 
> Next chapter however will give you more of the moments you love, I PROMISE! I should hopefully be able to get it up tomorrow. Leave comments if you want, and let me know what you thought!
> 
> (Oh and credit to sheriffandsteel on tumblr, both for the idea about Beth reminding Hank of his daughter, and also helping me decide for sure that some of the 'patients' would totally have come with them, cause Coda was totally unrealistic about that. She suggested "Ivy", aka the girl we see in that one scene, too.)


	7. That's Who I Want Having My Back

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The group is back together, but it isn't all a smooth readjustment, and Beth and Daryl both need to figure how they fit now; in the group, and together.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Womp womp, sorry this is so late today! Mondays are _rough_ , but hopefully tomorrow will be better. That said, I hope you guys like this chapter. I think it's got a lot more of the intimate moments you all enjoy, plus it's from Daryl's perspective!

The fire crackled a few feet away from Daryl where he sat with his back against a tree., They’d kept the flames small tonight because they didn’t want to attract too much notice, but it was enough to shine flickering light on the faces gathered in pairs and trios around it. Every member of the group was there making up beds of blankets for the night or finishing up their food or talking, but there was only one person who Daryl’s keen gaze was focused on. Her blonde hair looked like gold in the firelight, pulled back from her face but with the ends of it still brushing her shoulder. He barely noticed the sharp white of the bandage on her face, or the matching flash of white from the cast on her wrist. The fire lit her face with a shifting glow, not that she needed help from the flames; she glowed all on her own in his eyes, usually. It was still mesmerizing, though, watching the play of light across her skin. He enjoyed having a moment just to watch her, while her eyes were focused on something else and he could avoid thinking about how every time she met his gaze he felt this tug low in his belly. Watching now, his gaze followed the lines of his cheekbones, traced over the delicate curve of her neck, and dropped at last to her hands where they worked to bounce Judith gently in her lap.

Of course they’d handed the baby to her as soon as they’d set up camp. He’d been watching with pride as Beth had started to build a fire, following the same patterns he’d taught her back in the forest when it had been just the two of them. She’d only just begun to stack the twigs when Rick had interrupted and handed her a fussing baby, just like he always had before, and the pride in Daryl’s expression had turned to a frown, because it wasn’t like before. Rick didn’t see it, but Daryl did. He saw everything, especially when it came to Beth. He’d seen the hint of hurt in her eyes before she shuttered it. He’d seen how her shoulders tightened and her fingers curled into Judith’s sides before she’d made herself relax by breathing out a ragged little sigh. He also hadn’t failed to notice that even as she busied herself with carrying for Judith, her hands had continued to faintly tremble.

All he’d wanted to do was to go to her. Put his hand on her back in reassurance, even reach down and pick up Lil’ Asskicker and maybe hand her off to someone else. Just as he’d climbed to his feet, Rick had cut in front of him to ask him to do a sweep around the area where they’d stopped for the night, make sure it was clear, help set up a perimeter. Everything he’d always done for the group, every time they stopped to camp like this. Apparently Beth wasn’t the only one being neatly slotted back into their past roles. She’d looked up at him just then and their eyes had met, understanding reflected in both their gazes. Her sad smile just put another furrow in his brow, but the nod he gave her in reply was a promise. They’d figure this out. They’d sort it. As soon as they could, anyway.

They’d stopped for the night in a clearing, after taking a side-road Daryl had spotted to get a little ways away from the risks of the main road. Both cars were positioned to provide protection around their campsite, or as much a campsite as they could make with no tents and a few blankets. He’d paced around the perimeter in a slowly widened circle to make sure it was clear. After killing the single walker he’d found crawling on the ground with one leg missing, Daryl had worked to setup their usual protections; strings and empty cans that would warn them if any walkers got close. Wasn’t much, but it did te job, and they always had people set to keep watch in shifts.

Used to be he’d relish the times like this when it was just him alone in the forest hunting, setting things up, keeping his rough hands busy. Used to be, anyway. Cause the whole time he’d been out there this time, she’d been on his mind. He’d just kept turning to speak to the blonde girl who wasn’t at his side, kept reaching out to show her a walker’s footsteps, or the patterns a squirrel had made in the dirt. It’d happened time and time again after he’d lost her, but it had come back even stronger now that he knew how close she was. He’d realized that he didn’t even like thinking about her back there without him, surrounded by a group of people who hadn’t even understood who she was before, let alone who she was now. He didn’t have to think to hard to figure out what he wanted. As soon as he’d bagged a couple squirrels with his bow, he’d headed right back to her.

Beth had been by the fire still, but her attention wasn’t on the baby in her arms. Her eyes had been skimming the forest as if she’d heard something, and the moment he’d left the shadows of the trees her gaze fixed on him. Daryl had come to a stop just for a moment, because it was hard not to pause every time her eyes met his. He liked to watch her, to study the way she looked when she was looking at him, the things he could see flashing across her expressive face. As he’d come out of the woods, he’d seen relief in her eyes and watched a little bit of the tension ease from her body before she’d flashed him a tiny little smile and turned down to look at the stick Judith was holding up for her. Seems he wasn’t the only one who had been aware of the distance between them.

(Maybe that notice had extended even beyond the two of them, if Carol’s perceptive gaze back and forth and the lingering little smile on Michonne’s lips was any indication.)

Now, dinner settling in his belly, his eyes strayed to her across the fire again. They’d cooked up the squirrels he’d found and divided them through the group as best they could, along with some of their other supplies. Daryl had made sure that Beth got enough to eat, though he’d noticed that her appetite wasn’t what it should have been. Nothing was what it should have been, though. All night she’d just sat there by the fire, picking at her food with delicate fingers, looking smaller surrounded by all those people who kept touching her, hanging around her, talking to her when she obviously didn’t want to talk. She was sinking in on herself and it made his gut wrench. Hell, the only times he’d seen her smile was at Judy, or the few times she’d looked up to meet his eyes.

Had he been imagining the longing in them? Daryl hated feeling unsure like this. They’d been so close at the hospital spending every damn moment at each others side. Now that they were out in the forest it would have to change, right? She wouldn’t want to be around him constantly, not when there were others, when she had so many other people to spend her time with. But even as he thought it, another part of his mind pointed out how dumb that was. He could see just looking at her how uncomfortable she was with everyone else, how their presence was too much, how her hands would tremble and her breathing would come short until she looked up at him and held his gaze. _His_ gaze, as if he was the only person who could anchor her right now. 

Their eyes met constantly over the fire, and he was unaware that there was just as much longing in his as there was in hers. He was on the brink of giving in, crossing round the fire and pulling her up to lead her off somewhere safe, somewhere with less people crowding around her and stealing all her air. He’d even started to get to his feet when Rick stepped in front of him yet again to fix those piercing eyes on him. “Can you take the first watch, Daryl? Michonne offered to, as well. Figure we should let everyone get sleep, if we can.”

Rick didn’t sound any different than usual. His voice had that same warmth in it, that same tone of politeness but a genuine need for Daryl’s help. Yet it struck him just then that he wanted to say no. He’d always been so willing to do whatever Rick thought was best, without hesitation. It had been like that with Merle, too, always just following after his big brother and tumbling into whatever trouble Merle was set on finding. At least with Rick he felt like he had more of a say, but when it came down to it, Rick was in charge and Daryl almost never said no. And yet a part of him wanted to, right then. He wanted to tell him no. He wanted to tell him that he needed to be with Beth. He wanted to point across the fire and make Rick see that _she_ needed him.

But he looked over at her, all glowing in the light of the fire as she cradled that bouncing baby in her arms, and all he could think about was keeping her safe. He would always keep her safe, even if they drifted apart like he figured againt that they probably would. He knew deep down that even if she decided she didn’t want anything to do with him, he’d always protect her. Tonight, protection meant having a safe camp, having someone good keeping watch, and that someone was gonna be him.

“Yeah,” he said roughly, looking up in time to notice the way Rick was studying his face.

“You alright, Daryl?” Rick seemed concerned, and Daryl wasn’t sure how he felt about it.

“M’fine. Go check on Carl or somethin’, I’ll be over here.” 

So he moved to a tree at the edge of camp, just inside the barrier of cans and strings, and sat down with his back to the trunk to keep watch. The crossbow settled in his lap as he kept one side to the group and one to the woods beyond, and out of the corner of his eye he could see the group off to his left settling in for the night. That’d be it, then. She’d curl up there with Judy and a blanket, find away to fall asleep without needing him to hold his hand. They’d find a new routine, apart. It hurt to think, but it would hurt even more if she weren’t here at all. Daryl could handle a little hurt, if it meant Beth was alive.

He’d only been there lost in thought for about five minutes before he heard the crackle of leaves under foot, and looked up to see someone silhouetted by the banked fire as they came towards him. One blink, and her form became clear; it was Beth, with a blanket wrapped around her and a soft expression on her lips as she sank down beside him next to the tree. She was quiet for a few moments as she settled, wrapping the blanket tightly around her and leaning just close enough that her shoulder and thigh pressed to his.

“Don’t y’ need to get some sleep?” Daryl’s voice was rough and unexpected in the broken silence, and he was embarrassed to hear that there was a hint of a tone in it that almost sounded... Plaintive. Like no matter how hard he tried to deny it, he wanted her to stay. He wanted her to _want_ to stay.

“Yeah, I do,” Beth replied softly. Her gaze lingered on the dark woods for a moment before they trailed up to meet his eyes, and she went on like it was the simplest and most obvious thing ever, “That’s why I’m here, next to you. Can’t sleep anywhere else.” She paused and her brow furrowed, and when she corrected herself it was in a slow and measured voice, “Don’t _want_ to sleep anywhere else.” She dragged the blanket tighter around herself, and now she was the one looking plaintively up at him. “Unless you’d rather I sleep somewhere else.”

“No.” He said it quick and low and rough, before breathing out more slowly, “No. Y’ should be right here. I’ll keep y’ safe, an’ help you sleep.” It was his own turn to pause, staring out at the shadows between the trees and trying to make sense of the emotions currently bubbling up inside of him. Unsure and hesitant, but wanting to say the right thing, he added softly, “Ain’t nowhere else I’d rather y’ be, anyway.”

He didn’t dare look right at her, but in his peripheral vision he could see the smile that crossed her lips and seemed to ease away all her tension, and Daryl felt something inside of him unknotting as she breathed back, “Me either.” 

As he looked down at her nestled in beside her, Daryl was struck again (as he had been so many times since getting her back) by the urge to just... _do_ something, or say something. The _right_ something. But he wasn’t the sort of guy who knew what the ‘right something’ ever was. He didn’t know how to comfort someone, how to make them feel welcome, let alone when and if he should touch them. To be honest, he’d never wanted to do anything of those things, before Beth. 

(He still remembered the first time he’d wanted to touch her, that day in the prison when he’d come in to tell her Zach had died. He’d expected her to burst into tears, and he’d been dreading it because he never knew what to do with tears, especially from girls like Beth Greene. They were so damn messy. But the youngest Greene girl had completely surprised him not only with her complete calm, but with her desire to make sure _he_ was okay, even though she was the one who’d just lost someone. Seeing her standing there flipping that sign over, her too-big cardigan hanging on her slender frame and her big blue eyes peering up at him, he’d suddenly wanted to just reach out and hug her. Daryl was pretty sure he hadn’t wanted to hug anyone like that in his life, not since he was a kid. But he didn’t know how, or if he even should. Turned out he hadn’t had to figure it out, cause she’d just come up to him and hugged him herself, and he’d only hesitated a moment before gently lifting his hand to cup the back of her elbow. And it had been... nice.)

It was easier now to make the first move. Or the second, really, if you counted her coming over here as the first. He cleared his throat just softly and then lifted his arm to slide it over her shoulder and rest it there. It was different somehow than the way he’d ended up pulling her into his arms most nights this week. Then she’d been emotional, half-asleep, caught up in nightmares and needing comfort. This time it was him showing her he needed that contact too, a little, and wanting to give it to her not because she was upset, but just because it was, well, nice.

She smiled up at him, and his lips twitched into a faint smile as he rested his hand on the crossbow in his lap and looked out into the woods. He had a feeling people were watching them but right now he didn’t care. They could watch all night, for all he cared. He wasn’t gonna let go.

The pair of them sat in companionable silence for a few long minutes until Beth’s soft voice broke through his thoughts. “The last time I was by a fire like this was with you, out in the woods when it was just the two of us.” 

“Mmm,” he hummed, remembering it easily. 

“We had squirrel for dinner. The first one I ever caught myself. Well... sorta. I mean I know you were standing behind me helping me aim, but I still pulled the trigger. That counts, right?”

He looked down at her with a smile. “Was more like you're first assisted shot, but that ain’t nothin’ to laugh at. Was still a good shot, an’ you're first. I think it counts.” 

“Yeah,” she said proudly, a little smile on her lips. She paused and her face turned up to his. Even though he kept his gaze out on the woods, he could feel her studying him, her eyes trailing over his rough, worn face. “I was wondering...”

She trailed off and the silence had him glancing back over at her. “Yeah?”

“Well, I mean... I was just wondering if... If that offer still stood.” 

“Offer?”

Was he mistaken, or was she faintly blushing? Her cheeks were pink, but he told himself it was probably some combination of the warm blanket or the cool evening air. Still he couldn’t help noticing how that faint hint of pink seemed to make her even more pretty and god, Beth Greene was a pretty girl. The prettiest girl he reckoned he’d ever seen, though Merle would have had some choice things to say if he’d ever dared to comment on that out loud, probably starting off by calling him ‘Darylina’ the way he always did when he was teasing him about being a pussy.

“You know, your offer to... train me. With tracking, and hunting, and your bow and stuff.” 

Surprise flashed across his face and his brow furrowed as he looked down at her. “You still want to?” 

Now a line creased between her eyes to match his own. “Why wouldn’t I?”

“Dunno.” He shifted in place. “Figured, now that we’re back in th’ group y’ wouldn’t want to anymore, or something.” Even saying it felt dumb, especially when she was looking up at him like she wanted to know why on earth he’d think she might not want that, and the truth was he couldn’t think of a damn good reason. But she had him so flustered that he just blurted without thinking, “I dunno, I figured you’d not want t’ spend you're time with me, now that we’re back with everyone else. Now that y’ ain’t stuck with me, anymore.”

The silence that fell between them made his stomach churn. God, what the hell was he doing? What was it about this girl that got him all twisted up and turned around like this? Sometimes he thought she worked some magic on him with those big blue eyes of hers and just summoned every thought right out of his mouth. 

“Daryl...” He could feel him shifting next to her and when he looked down, she’d turned a little sideways under his arm to press closer. That soft and warm look was in her eyes, the one that made his stomach go all funny, but in a good way. That look he could never take his eyes away from, just like he couldn’t now as she said, “I was never stuck with you. I was lucky to have you. And you’re the only person I want to spend time with right now. I _mean_ that.” 

He was silent, digesting it, trying to pull the lies from the complete honesty in her voice and coming up short. Before he could even comment, she added softly, “When we left today, when we drove away from the city... A tiny part of me even wished it could be just the two of us again. That we could sneak off and melt back into the woods, and be the way it used to be. Just the two of us.”

 _Oh_. He thought about that for a long time, giving her a measured stare. “But you’d never really do that. Leave the group behind, even if y’ ain’t comfortable here.”

“No,” she breathed back with a soft smile. “And neither would you, Daryl. I guess we’re just too good.”

Daryl snorted. “ _You_ are, anyway.” 

Beth shook her head an watched him with an amused, affectionate smile. “We _both_ are.”

“Hm.” That was his only reply to that, anyway, for now. But after a moment his hand tightened around her shoulder and he looked back down at her once more to say, “I’d like to start you're trainin’ again, if y’ really want.” His eyes twinkled as he teased, “Y’ were just startin’ t’ not be awful.”

“Hey!” Beth poked him and then giggled, and that soft little laugh unloosed another knot inside of him as he realized he’d do anything he could to hear her laugh like that again. “I was darn good and you know it, Daryl Dixon!”

He tilted his head to study here as a smile crossed his lips. “Y’ were okay. But you were gonna be even better. An’ y’ will be, now. We’ll get y’ there.”

Her head tilted against his shoulder, but he could still see the faint smile on her lips as she murmured, “I’d like that a lot, Daryl. A real lot.” 

***

They’d stayed like that in peaceful quiet until Beth had fallen asleep against him, a comfortably warm weight against his side, held in the safety of his arm. To his surprise, she didn’t wake up with a single bad dream, for what he was pretty sure was the first time since he’d found her again. It occurred to him that maybe he shouldn’t have waited every night for her to wake up gasping before he’d put his arm around her, but he’d never have expected that it would be his arms around her that would chase away Beth’s bad dreams. 

(He wished that he’d had the confidence to figure that out sooner. It had clenched at his heart every night to see the terror on her face, to watch her wait up gasping and crying out, shoving away her dreams or the people in them with frantic hands. It had only been when she’d cried out that he’d given into the urge to wrap his arms around her and hold her close, to watch as the terror eased away from her face and let it soft and serene again. He should have ignored that self doubt telling him it was just a coincidence that it was his arms that banished her bad dreams.)

After four hours, Rick had come to relieve him on guard duty. He’d looked up to see the man staring down at him, one eyebrow raised at the sight of Beth tucked against his side under his arm. (Surely the man was trying to figure out if he’d ever seen anyone that close to Daryl before, and of course the answer to that was no.) For his part, Daryl had just shrugged. He couldn’t move without upsetting her, and he wasn’t about to pull her from the best sleep she’d seemingly had in weeks. (There was no denying that a tiny part of him wanted to stay for selfish reasons, too.) When Rick had taken up post a few feet away, Daryl had given in to his urges and just tipped his head back against the tree.

He’d fallen asleep like that with Beth nestled against his side and woken up to the warmth of her hand on his chest and the feeling of her loose blond hair tickling his nose as he leaned over her. He could still remember the soft smile she’d given him and the thanks she’d whispered in his ear as she climbed to her feet and reached down to offer him her hand. It wasn’t like he’d needed it to get up, but there was no way he’d refuse an offer from Beth, no matter what it was.

When they got back to the fire, Daryl lowered himself onto the ground to watch as the group divided up the cans of beans that Carol had cooked for dinner. There weren’t enough to go around, of course, so everyone had to share. They were used to it, anyway, although Daryl couldn’t helping noticing a few shifts in certain pairings and dynamics. Like Maggie, looking up expectantly at Beth and holding out a can to her sister, only to frown when Beth faintly shook her head and stepped back. He couldn’t hear the conversation from here, but whatever she murmured had Carol handing her a can of beans that she curled her hands around as she turned and scanned the crowd to find him. He knew even before their eyes met that it was him she was looking for. Their communication was silent once they found each other; an arched eyebrow from her, a nod from him, and she was coming over and settling at his side with her thigh pressed to his as she offered him a can to share. Neither of them paid any mind to the exchange of looks going on around them as they passed the can back and forth comfortably in silence. 

He hadn’t decided what his plan was for the day, cause that depended on the group of course. As he was sitting there thinking that maybe he and Beth could get some of that training in, Rick came over to crouch in front of them. Daryl was starting to wonder if the man had a fucking timer or radar in his head or some shit, perfectly tuned to interrupt his plans whenever he was about to put them into action. “I was thinking maybe you and Michonne could go scouting ahead. Take a car, maybe see if you can find somewhere for us to raid for supplies.”

Though his gaze was fixed on Rick, he didn’t miss the shift in Beth’s body beside him, the way she shot him a quick (worried?) glance before looking down at her beans. Rick must have noticed it to, but misinterpreted it in a way that made Daryl groan. (When had he come to be the perceptive one of the group?)

“Don’t worry, Beth, we’ll keep you busy, too. I was thinking you could take care of Judith again today. She’s a bit fussy, and you always know just how to get her to calm down.” 

That tension was tightening Beth’s shoulders again as she shifted beside him. His sharp gaze followed the bunching muscles in her back to the hard swallow she gave, and the faint bob of her head as she shrugged, ready to give in.

“I want Beth to come with me.” Had he said that out loud, or had it just been in his head? Daryl only had to wonder a moment before Rick’s surprised expression and the turning heads of half their group confirmed that it had definitely been out loud.

Rick’s brow furrowed as he tried to meet Daryl’s eyes. “She’ll be fine here, you know we’ll keep her safe.” 

Of course. He, like all of them, figured Daryl was just trying to protect her. Trying to keep sweet little Beth safe and out of harm again, like they all seemed to want to. Like she was still just some kid. It actually made him angry, especially when he saw the hint of resignation mingling with the frustration on Beth’s face.

“It ain’t like that.” He took the empty can from Beth and set it down on the ground before he sat up a bit straighter. His hands braced on his knees and his voice was gruff and firm as he went on, “I want her t’ be my partner on this.” 

“You sure that’s a good idea? I don’t know how safe that is...” Rick’s voice was soft and cajoling, and in the background Daryl could see Maggie rising to her feet and coming up slowly towards them.

Daryl’s arms crossed over his chest. “What ain’t safe is me going without her. We work well together. Y’ ain’t seen how she had my back while it was just the two of us, y’ ain’t seen how we learned to be a team, but I know you’ve seen what she can do an’ it’s stupid of y’ to act like y’ haven’t. We mighta all been dead back there if she hadn’t heard that cop sneakin’ up behind us, or remembered about one of them being a sniper. _That’s_ who I want havin’ my back.”

It was probably the most any of them had heard Daryl say in a long time, and so it wasn’t surprising to see Rick just watching him, his surprise morphing into a studying expression before he finally replied, “Alright. If Beth wants to go...”

“I wanna go.” She hadn’t said a word up till then, though he’d felt her straightening up beside him, and when he looked at her now he was proud to see how determined she looked.

“Beth!” Maggie came up behind Rick, her eyes wide and a mix of confusion and anger flashing across her face. “Beth, don’t be stupid, I’m not letting you go out there! It’s dangerous, you’ll get hurt. You can’t go running off with him with no clue what’s out there! You’re just a k-”

“A kid?” Beth’s voice was cold as she rose to her feet. She was holding herself so steady and strong, but Daryl could see the trembling in the fingers she curled into the fabric of her jeans. “Maggie, I ain’t been a kid since I tried to take my own life, and I definitely wasn’t a kid when I watched Daddy bleed to death in front of us. After what I saw at that hospital, I don’t think there’s a tiny bit of kid left in me anymore, at all. So I’m goin’, and you can’t stop me.” 

She strode off, firm and forceful rather than petulant, and there was a smile on Daryl’s lips as he rose lazily to his feet and brought his bow with him. 

“Daryl! Aren't you gonna stop her?” Maggie was practically glaring at him, hands on her hips, but he just chuckled as he shrugged and settled his bow on his back. 

“Me?” He snorted. “I asked her to come in th’ first place. Besides, I’ve learned from experience, once that girl sets her mind to something, ain’t nothin’ can stop her.” His mind was filled with the smell of moonshine and Beth’s body warm against his back, and the bright fire of the cabin against the night sky, burning up his past while little Beth Greene thrust her middle finger defiantly into the sky.

Yeah. She was a force of nature, that one. Like a storm racing across the land, scaring away everything bad with a crack of thunder and a flash of lightening, only to shower down rain to sate the dry earth. She was like the tides, echoing the rhythms of the moon and the stars, pulsing to the same rhythm of his heart, and he would willingly get pulled along in her wake as she tore through anything that got in her way. 

***

Later, they drove down a small road whose cracked pavement made for a bumpy ride in the dusty blue truck they’d taken. Daryl would have liked the van, since the back was a good place to hide in case they got caught by a larger group of walkers, but he’d agreed with Rick that the group was better off keeping the van in case they needed to run in a hurry. He and Beth could fit plenty in the cab of the truck as it was, and since he’d gotten his way bringing her with him, he wasn’t gonna argue.

Beth had the window down a tiny crack, not enough for any walkers to grab onto if they’d stopped, but enough for a tiny breeze to make the loose strands of hair flutter around her face. They’d been driving in silence for about a mile, Daryl trusting his instincts to lead them someplace good, when Beth’s soft voice broke the quiet. “You didn’t have to do that.” He looked over at her with a raised eyebrow, before his gaze flicked back to the road. “You didn’t have to stand up for me like that, I mean.”

Daryl’s response was simple. “Yeah I did.” His pause only lasted a second before he added, “Wanted y’ with me for this.” He shifted in his seat. He could see her out of the corner of his eyes, fingers tracing shapes over the cast on her wrist. The Doctor at the hospital had said she’d need to keep it on her wrist for a few more weeks, but he’d seen her hold a gun and fire it without any trouble, so that wasn’t gonna hold her back in his mind. “Meant what I said,” he added gruffly, “Ain’t nobody else I want, havin’ my back.” 

She seemed to be absorbing that quietly next to him, though he thought he detected a faint smile on her lips as she joked, “I dunno, Michonne’s sword does come in pretty damn handy...”

“Yeah,” Daryl replied with a chuckle. Then he hesitated, a faint line furrowing his brow as he leaned back in the seat and let the truck rumble under him. He was so bad at knowing what to say and what to keep to himself, but they were alone right now and since he didn’t know how often that’d be happening, he had to take the chance when he could. “’sides... Thought maybe y’ could use some time away from the group.”

When he glanced over at her now, she was twisting the t-shirt bracelet he’d made for her around her wrist, and frowning down at it as she replied, “I dunno what you mean.”

“Yeah y’ do.” There wasn’t no need to beat around the bush when it came to Daryl. Hell might freeze over before he spoke about his own emotions, but when he decided to speak his mind about someone else, he just said it. Then again, there was a difference between talking about his own feelings and someone else’s. Especially Beth’s. Hers were more important, in his mind.

At first she just sat there quietly beside him. Her fingers curled under the bracelet and brushed her scar, and each time he glanced over at her she was just staring out the window, thinking. That was alright. Daryl wasn’t gonna push her. If anyone understood how hard it could be to get things out, it was him. But he knew Beth, and she had always been good at putting her feelings into words. Far better than he had ever been, or probably would ever be.

“I dunno how to explain what I feel like with the group around. It’s... it’s like I can’t breathe.” Out of the corner of his eye he saw her bite down briefly on her lower lip. “Like they’re sucking all the air away from me, and I don’t... I mean, I’ve never felt like that before. I used to _like_ being around people. I used to _need_ it. Those first couple days when we were by ourselves, I could barely stand it, you know? The emptiness, the loneliness. It was just this constant reminder of everyone we lost, especially in the beginning when you weren’t even talking to me.”

Daryl felt a surge of guilt at that, opened his mouth to apologize even, but then Beth was going on and he wasn’t about to stop her from letting out what she needed to. “But at the hospital I was surrounded by people and it was the complete opposite of safe. I didn’t know any of them. I couldn’t _trust_ any of them. Every single one of them was a threat, and every time one of them walked by or even just came close enough for me to hear them, it was terrifying. It like I was on edge waiting for something bad to happen. Waiting for them to hurt me. And sometimes, they did.”

Her fingers brushed the scar on her cheek and then traced down over the cast on her wrist, and Daryl felt anger boiling up inside of him again at the thought of those assholes hurting _her_ , hurting the best person left in this retched fucking world. None of them were even worthy of touching her, let alone marking her skin. Hell, most of the time he didn’t even think he was worthy of touching her; it was enough that she let him close to her, let him bask in her glow like the sunshine she reminded him of. 

“I know the group,” she went on softly, her voice rising with each word, "I know I should trust them, but every time they get close to me it’s all I can think of. Like I’m not safe, like they might surprise me at any moment and grab me and hurt me. It’s _stupid_ , I know it’s stupid, but I can’t _help it_!”

“I _ain’t_ stupid.” Daryl’s voice cut through her exclamations, which had been getting more frantic by the moment. She needed to let it out, but she didn’t need to break down over it. He hadn’t wanted to give her another panic attack. He reached out without hesitation to rest his hand just above her knee, hoping it could give her the comfort she needed. He knew by now that despite her talk of being terrified of touch, it didn’t apply to him. He didn’t understand it, but at least he knew it was true.

“Had a friend once, from when I was younger. Turned 18 an’ joined right up into th’ army. Sent him over t’ Iraq, few tours in a row, an’ he saw plenty of fighting. He was a good man, but... He wasn’t ever the same, after he came back.” He glanced quickly over at her and then back to the road. “Used to have flashbacks an’ nightmares. Fireworks would send him into a panic attack. Couldn’t ever go into small spaces, neither, without feeling like he couldn’t breathe. He tried to tell me once, about getting trapped in some house when the roof caved in during a mission, surrounded by insurgents or whatever it was they called ‘em. Trapped, thinking he had no way out.” Daryl trailed off, cause that wasn’t the point. “Anyway, Doctors told him he had, you know... PTSD.” 

He glanced over at her again as he said it, and Beth’s head tilted to look up at him. “You think I have that?”

“Dunno. Ain’t a doctor. But I do think we’ve all seen a lot of fucked up shit, and it’d be dumb to expect we ain’t gonna change because of that. Be even dumber to think it wouldn’t affect us at all.” His fingers curled lightly to squeeze her leg just above her knee. “Y’ went through a lot, Beth. Ain’t stupid at all for it to have gotten to y’. We’ll figure it out, okay? If we can’t fix it, then we’ll figure out how t’ work with it.” 

Quiet filled the cab, and then his ears registered the sound of fabric moving as she slid closer to him on the seat. “I like when you say ‘we’,” Beth murmured. Her voice went soft so easily, shifting in a second from tight and afraid to warm and shy and sweet. It did things to him, things he didn’t want to think about, things it was impossible _not_ to think about when she was with him.

“C’mere,” he said in reply, patting the seat next to him. “Gotta keep both my hands on th’ wheel, but it don’t mean y’ can’t be close to me.” 

He missed the sweet smile that curved across her lips, but he could almost feel it lightening the air as she slid across the seat and closed the gap between them until he felt the warmth of her thigh pressed to his. Their shoulders brushed together as she turned to look at him and murmured near his ear (too damn close to his ear), “I can always be close to you, Daryl. Everyone else I feel like I’m gonna panic, gonna have to run away before I scream, but.... Never with you.”

He didn’t know what to say to that. It wasn’t that a hundred things didn’t pop into his mind, because they did. A hundred things, a thousand things, a million things. Like the fact that he’d never felt as good touching anyone as he did her, that he’d never _wanted_ to touch anyone as much as he wanted to touch her. Or the fact that when he’d fallen asleep next to her at the hospital every night, holding her hand, he’d stopped having the bad dreams that had plagued him most of his life, too. (They’d changed over the years, from his abusive father to his mother burning up in flames, from Merle, to the walkers, to losing Beth, but they’d never gone away, not until now.) 

Instead, he nudged his shoulder against hers and just gave her another slight smile. “Ain’t no accountin’ for taste, I guess.”

“Daryl!” It was silly, but it had worked. She looked up at him and laughed, and he could see that tension ease from her again. He would have kept it up, would have said something else to make her laugh again (anything to make her laugh, anything to fill the cab with a sound happier than he reckoned he’d ever been graced with hearing before), but instead he found himself saying seriously, “Never wanted to let someone touch me, or put my arm around them, or nothin’ like that. Not till you.” 

And fuck, there it was again, that soft look in her eyes, like that cornflower blue was just gonna open up into the blue sky above and shine that damn sun right down on him until he was all filled with warmth. Those blue eyes and that soft look was gonna be the end of him, he just knew it, same as he knew he wasn’t worthy of it. But that didn’t stop him from aching for it every single day. 

Flustered (a thing Daryl also couldn’t recall being nearly so much before he’d met Beth Greene), he turned back to the road to focus on driving. But it wasn’t long before his hand found her knee again in a gentle squeeze, and when she shifted closer and rested her cheek on his shoulder, he didn’t utter a single complaint. 

Driving in that truck with her, the faint breeze lightening the air, the warmth of her body at his side... It was like every dream he’d had since losing her, only a million times better because it was real. He knew it wouldn’t last forever, knew that any minute now they’d find somewhere to stop and they’d have to focus on keeping each other safe. But in that moment, even a single minute seemed like it could go on forever.

A never-ending minute, just Beth’s cheek on his shoulder and a strand of her hair tickling his face, and the warmth of her knee beneath his hand as the road went on and on beneath the wheels of their truck.

It was perfect.

Even when she broke the silence to point up ahead to a split in the road and a sign that looked like it was for a small rest stop or something, that moment didn’t fade from his mind. Maybe it was gonna be one of those memories that always remained, shining brightly in the darkness.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Nothing much to add, just wanted to say thanks for all the kudos and comments so far, your enthusiasm keeps me going writing this and makes me feel so happy. Let me know what you thought!


	8. The Greatest Good

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Things come to a head between Beth and Maggie, and Beth finally let's out what's pent up inside of her; first in a wildfire rage, and then in soft whispered words to the one man she trusts.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one is a rollercoaster, folks. Starts sweet, then drops down for a little bit before picking up again. Brace yourselves! Sorry it's late in the day again! Weekday updates with invariably be later because I work eight hours every day and don't usually write until I get home. 
> 
> **WARNINGS:** Mentions of past sexual assault/violence/death.

“Alright, Greene. Keep ‘er steady while you lift ‘er, get it braced nice an’ good...” 

Daryl’s voice was low as he stood behind her, so close that his breath ghosted over ear. It was thoroughly distracting, and for a moment she lost control of the weight she was holding. The crossbow dipped a couple inches before she caught herself and raised it up again.

Misinterpreting why it was she’d faltered, Daryl’s voice was concerned as he asked, “Y’ sure you’re okay bracing that on you're wrist in that cast?”

It wasn’t the first time he’d asked her that today. If it had been anyone else she would have been irritated but the concern in his voice was so genuine that Beth couldn’t be angry with him. “I’ve got it,” Beth replied, her tone as even as her posture as she kept a firm grip on the heavy weapon. He had cranked it for her today just as he had back when they’d first started practicing; Beth might have tried herself again, just to see if she was stronger now, but with the cast on her wrist she knew she couldn’t even attempt to load the weapon and draw it back.

(The first time his teasing about her strength had been gruff but endless as he insisted she’d never be able to pull it. He’d told her that for the longest time even _he_ had barely been able to, and of course she’d only taken it as a challenge. He’d rolled his eyes as she’d insisted on trying and though she hadn’t managed it, it had been worth trying to see the surprise and unexpected admiration in his eyes when she’d managed to pull it back halfway. Though she’d stood up and handed it off to him so he could draw it himself, Beth had laughed at the questioning look in his eyes and teased, “Hey, you think Judith is all sweet and cute, but you try carrying her around all day and see if you don’t get some good arm muscles!”)

A smile crossed her lips at the memory but she did her best to stay focused, though it was hard with Daryl so damn close behind her. She did her best to keep her attention on her prey: a squirrel that had paused halfway up the tree, sensing them but freezing rather than fleeing. Soft and unsure, she asked, “You gonna help me like last time?”

She felt the shake of his head in the way his nose brushed against her ponytail. “Nah. This one is yours. Go for it.” He didn’t say it but she could hear in his voice that he knew she could do it, and that was all the motivation Beth needed, even when he kept going, “Just remember, no jerkin’ the trigger, alright? An’ don’t slam your finger down on th’ trigger, pull it nice an’ slow. An-”

“Daryl.” Her calm voice cut through his voice, although there was a faint smile on her lips that he couldn’t see. “I got it, okay. It hasn’t been that long, and besides...” She trailed off as she lined up the shot and breathed out in a slow exhale, timing it perfectly with the slow press of the trigger. Bit by bit, nice and slow, until the trigger released with a pop and the bow fired, almost making her jump after the fact. She’d forgotten how it felt when that bolt released! To her delight, it sliced through the air and slammed right into the body of the squirrel, putting a grin on Beth’s lips that she had to fight against, because she just wanted to sound cool as a cucumber as she finished, “-I had a great teacher.” 

She couldn’t keep that cool for long, it was impossible. Beth turned towards him with a grin that lit up her whole face as she exclaimed, “I did it, Daryl! All by myself!” Without even thinking she dropped the heavy crossbow and flung her arms around his shoulders in a joyous hug. Her body pressed close to his, and Beth didn’t fail to notice that at first he seemed in shock, his hands hanging at his sides like he had no idea what to do with them. But then Beth leaned in just a little more and squeezed him a little tighter, and she hummed with happiness as she felt him slowly lift his arms to wrap them around her waist. 

“I did it,” she breathed out again, her face near his ear now much like his had been near hers moments before.

“Yeah, ya did.” There was a thick quality to his voice that she hadn’t expected, and it had Beth pulling back just enough to look into his eyes. She was surprised to see a heat in his gaze, not the kind that burned her with frustration or annoyance like his gaze sometimes did to others, but one that warmed her to her very core and seemed to flicker just briefly with a depth of emotions Beth was sure Daryl didn’t usually allow to be so visible. 

Sure enough he shuttered it all quickly... but not all of it. There was still a smile on his lips and a faint warmth in his eyes and Beth could content herself with that for now. Truth be told, seeing that heat in his eyes before made her all flustered and brought up feelings _she_ couldn’t quite pinpoint. With everything she had gone through, she needed time to sort through it, to figure out what it all meant, and why it was he made her feel like that. It was time she hadn’t had before, that night in the funeral home when she’d been snatched away from him. Now it seemed like they had all the time they needed, and both of them seemed okay with taking it, for now.

“C’mon now,” he said gruffly, leaning over to pick up his bow. She watched mesmerized as he manually cranked it, the thick muscles in his arm straining as he bent over to draw it back, before rising up to offer it to her. “One squirrel ain’t gonna feed the whole group. Sides, I think if y’ look around a bit, you might find a sign of somethin’ they might like even better...”

Instantly Beth began to study the ground, not just wanting to sharpen her abilities but wanting to prove to him again that she could be good at this. The thing was that she _wanted_ to prove it to him, but she didn’t feel like she _needed_ to. There was a difference and it was important. The first time he’d showed her how to do all this, as they made their way through the woods day by day, she had been desperate with a need to prove him she was good enough. As if by showing she could learn, she would prove her worth enough that he wouldn’t end up leaving her. Even after that night with the moonshine, even knowing what a good man Daryl was deep down, a part of her had always been afraid he’d leave her.

(Ironic, in the end, that she’d been the one to leave. Granted she had been torn from him against her will, but it had still been her that had been pulled away, and he’d never left her behind. She would never forget the fact that he had run a whole night and day just trying to catch up to her. Beth knew now without a doubt that he would _never_ willingly leave her behind.)

She also knew that he believed in her strength and her skill. So she didn’t need to prove to him that she could do this, but she wanted to show him she could all the same. Especially if it got her that same look of pride she’d gotten earlier. 

As Daryl crossed carefully around her to pull free the bolt she’d shot and collect the squirrel, Beth turned in a slow circle. Her eyes narrowed in concentration as she studied the ground, trying to see the way he did where everything was a pattern. ( _Y’ gotta see it all like a story. Like every little mark on the ground is tellin’ you somethin’. Gotta study it an’ pick out the patterns._ ) His lessons echoed in her mind until Beth finally came to a stop and pointed. “There!”

“There what?” He was leaning against the tree, arms crossed over his chest and his eyes studying her face. Anyone else would have thought he was just waiting, calm and collected, but she saw a faint hint of that pride in his eyes already. 

“The leaves over there, the pattern is off. Like they didn’t just fall that way, somethin’ scattered them.” She paused just a beat. “Right?”

“I dunno, you tell me.”

Time was she would have frowned at him, maybe even stomped her foot to demand his help, but she knew he was just letting her take the reins. He was trusting her to see what needed to be seen.

Beth crossed carefully to the spot and crouched down on her haunches, mimicking Daryl’s usual position with her arms resting on her knees the way his always did. “There,” she said again, reaching out to trace her finger in the air over the leaves. “Something ran through and scattered them a bit.” 

“Mm.” He shifted in place and raised an eyebrow. “What was it?” 

She got quiet again, her head tilting as she examine the patterns in the dirt. After a moment she reached out and carefully brushed one leaf aside to study the faint tracks in the dirt. “I think...”

Calmly, he guided her, “Tell me what y’ see, an’ then tell me what it is based on that.” 

Beth nodded. “Two smaller depressions, and two bigger ones, like the small feet landed first and then the bigger ones after them. I think the small feet are the front feet, but they don’t line up horizontal, they’re um-” She only needed a second to think of the word he’d taught her once, summoning it up out of her mind from that crisp, sunny day in the woods. “Offset! They have an _offset bound_.” Beth looked so pleased that her whole face was bright as she looked up at him and exclaimed excitedly, “It’s a rabbit!”

“ _Very_ good.” His low voice sent a little thrill down her spine, and she looked up at him as he pushed off the tree and came to crouch down beside her. She followed the stretch of his hand down as he gestured to the tracks in the dirt. “If y’ ever ain’t sure if it’s a squirrel or a rabbit, y’ just check th’ shape of th’ toes. See how th’ small paw has four? Three on top, an’ one to the side, and th’ three on top kinda have a shape like an upside down ‘j’.” Beth nodded and mimicked him, reaching out to trace the ‘j’ shape. “An’ the back paws got four toes, two up top an’ one on either side, an’ sometimes y’ can see the big long heel, dependin’ on how it’s runnin’. Y’ got that?”

Beth nodded over at him, still smiling. “J toes on the front, and a heel on the back paws.” He smiled at her for just a moment, and the way his eyes looked as they lingered on hers had another rush of heat curling low in her belly. She had the feeling that if she stayed here just like this, staring at him, she could figure out exactly that that feeling was and what it meant, beyond just the fact that she liked it. But she also knew that it was okay if she took the time instead to sort through what it all meant. That maybe she even needed to.

He pushed up on his heels and climbed to his feet before offering her his hand. Beth took it easily, their palms pressing together and his fingers curling around her hand as he helped her easily to her feet. “C’mon, Greene. We’re gonna catch us a rabbit for dinner. Just wait till y’ see how grateful everyone is.” 

***

When they came back to camp a half hour later carrying the rabbit as well as three squirrels (two from Beth and one from Daryl), the group was as grateful as Daryl had suggested they would be. Unfortunately, or perhaps unsurprisingly to Beth, the assumptions had them giving their compliments to the wrong person.

“A rabbit!” Carol lit up at the sight of it as they camp out of the woods behind the building they were staying at,. “Daryl that’s amazing, thank you! We could make a great dinner with that and the squirrels.”

“Don’t thank me,” Daryl replied, his brow furrowed and his stance just slightly tense. He nodded over at her, and gave her a knowing look when he saw her head dropping slightly. “Beth bagged the rabbit, an’ two of the squirrels.”

“Beth?” The surprise in Carol’s voice stung, though a part of Beth knew it wasn’t meant to be mean. None of them had expected her to change. They still didn’t.

Instead of replying, she reached around and unslung the crossbow from her back with a little shrug, in a move that was rather like Daryl, though she didn’t know it. Whoever the movement echoed, what it did was draw attention to the crossbow which Carol hadn’t seemed to notice she’d had before. 

Beth offered it to him with a brief glance into his eyes, but at the moment the reassurance in them couldn’t comfort her. They’d only been back a minute and already she was uncomfortable and on edge. She moved away, heading towards the fire, but behind her she heard Carol say, “You let her use your bow?”

“Yeah. That a problem?”

“No, it’s just... I’ve never seen you let anyone use your bow before.”

“Yeah, well. Beth ain’t anyone.” 

His gruff voice carried just enough that Beth heard it as she rounded the other side of the fire, and she couldn’t resist turning to look at him. He met her eyes like she knew he would, and gave him a soft smile in thanks. At least one person understood her. It was enough to lighten the tension in her just a little as she settled by the fire pit to look into the flickering flames.

Two days ago, she and Daryl had scoped out that rest station they’d found on their drive. She hadn’t expected to find one out that way, but Daryl had said they were in prime hunting territory, and that he reckoned this was a road a lot of the non-local hunters took when they were coming in for the weekend. That was probably why they’d found things that actually bordered on useful, though it had been obvious they hadn’t been the first people there. Beth had found a tarp in the corner, and a few old newspapers she’d stuffed into her bag for kindling along with a bic lighter. It had been Daryl who had figured out how to pop the lock on the office door, and it’d turned out whoever had used that office before had been a fan of dinners cooked on a hot-plate, because they’d found a couple cans of stew and one of beans underneath the now-useless microwave. It had been Beth who had jimmied open the desk drawers (trying her best not to remember the last time she’d done something like that) and found the pocket knife. Not the best, but better than nothing. 

After Daryl had busted open the soda machine to grab the few remaining cans, they’d decided the place wasn’t so bad for the group to stay for a couple days and recover. It was on the road, but defensible with the woods at their back, and so they’d made sure the place had been clear before they’d headed back to gather the group and lead them all to it.

Now the place was as fortified as they could make it for a short stay, with someone always on guard especially watching the road and the woods. There was no stove out front, so they still had to cook on a fire outside in the back, but there’d been a nice fire-pit that Carol had made use of. When they got back from their hunting trip, the rest of the group- minus Rosita and Abraham on watch, and Carol and Ivy manning the fire- were gathered inside in the main room inside the building where they’d laid out blankets and sleeping bags to make a little communal area. The thought of going into that stuffy space full of all those people made Beth shudder, so instead she rounded the fire and sat down opposite it.

Ivy was tending it; she gave Beth a smile but didn’t say anything else, which Beth approached. At least Ivy understood, and Hank too when he was around. Hank had taken to Tara, or Tara had taken to him, either way she saw the pair of them joking around sometimes. Ivy, she’d noticed, had been spending most of her time around Carol. Despite Carol’s apparently lack of confidence in Beth sometimes, she knew Carol was good for Ivy. They’d both gone through abuse.

So had she. Her and Ivy had that in common, but Ivy seemed more comfortable confiding in Carol than Beth had been with anyone in the group. Even Daryl only knew the basics, but one of the best things about Daryl was that he never pushed. He held her when she woke up gasping, he kept the anxiety away with his warm presence or sometimes just by holding her gaze across the fire, but he never pushed her. Unfortunately, there were others who didn’t seem to be so considerate.

Just then, Beth looked up to see Maggie exiting the back of the building. She scanned the idea and when she spotted Beth, she headed right towards her. _Speak of the devil._ Beth frowned and shifted where she sat, wrapping her arms around her legs and drawing them to her chest as she settled her chin on her knees. Maybe Maggie would just leave her alone, maybe she’d somehow finally figured out that Beth needed her space.

No such luck. Maggie came up right beside her, dropping a hand on her shoulder and sliding it down her back. Beth shivered and pulled away, but she refused to look over and catch the hurt expression she knew would be on Maggie’s face.

“Did you have a good hunting trip?” Maggie’s voice was cautious as she broke the silence, and it was almost okay until she added, “Did Daryl catch anything?”

Beth’s brow furrowed. “Daryl caught a squirrel. _I_ caught a rabbit and two squirrels. Thanks for asking.” 

“Beth!” She could see Maggie looking at her from the corner of her eyes. “Don’t talk to me like that.” 

“Don’t assume that Daryl does everything when we’re out together.” She knew she was being terse, but god, it was just weighing on her all the time, the constant assumptions. “Why do you think he takes me with him, just for nothing? Oh no, I know. You think he does it just to keep an eye on me.”

“Well...”

“Well, he doesn’t!” Beth turned to look sharply at her older sister, vaguely aware that she’d caught the attention of Daryl and Carol a few feet behind Maggie, still standing by the edge of the woods “He takes me because he wants me to back him up. And cause he’s teaching me. I tracked that rabbit all by myself today, _and_ I shot it with his bow.” 

Maggie didn’t seem to know what to say to that, so after a long moment of silence punctuated only by the crackling of the flames, she ventured, “When did he start letting you use his bow?”

Turning back to the fire, Beth picked at the hole in her jeans as she replied, “When we were together, before. I asked him, cause I wanted to learn. I wanted to help. I didn’t want to just be the weight he dragged around and had to protect, like you all think I am.” 

“Beth, none of us ever said that’s what we thought you were!”

“No, not explicitly. But I see how you look at me, and I know how you treat me.”

“Bethy-” Maggie reached out and curled her fingers around Beth’s arm at the same time she used that nickname, and Beth shuddered in revulsion. Instinctively she yanked her arm away and shoved one hand out to push Maggie away, unaware of how dilated her eyes were or how pale her face was as she said harshly, “Don’t touch me!”

Dimly, Beth was aware of Maggie’s shocked face, and of the shape of Daryl behind her but coming closer. _Please leave_ , she thought to herself, staring at her sister as if she could will her away. _Just go, just leave me alone, I just need my space._

But of course, Maggie didn’t do that. 

(Which was another disappointment, because Beth remembered a time when Maggie had been so good at reading her; when she could look at her little sister and know exactly what mood she was in. Like the time she’d come home upset because a boy she liked had asked out someone else, and Maggie had just known not only that she was upset, but that she needed to get away and go for a long ride, just the two of them. Or the first time her Daddy had gotten mad at her for forgetting to do one of her chores, and it had stung so hard to have him be sharp with her when he never was, and Maggie had just known to give her a hug and then crack a joke about her officially being in her and Shawn’s sibling club now.)

Now, it was like they were strangers. Maggie was sure looking at Beth like nothing she saw was familiar. “Beth, why won’t you just tell me what happened? What did they _do_ to you? Why are you being so weird, whenever people touch you?” 

“I don’t wanna _talk_ about it.” Beth could feel her chest getting all tight and she just wanted to wrap her arms around herself and roll up in a ball until it all went away. She was out in the open air, the trees off to her side, and yet she felt so trapped, so caught, so unsafe. Her eyes desperately sought out Daryl across the fire, but before she could find him Maggie was talking again, all low and angry.

“You let _Daryl_ touch you.” 

It had been the wrong thing to say. Every last word of it, in every single way. Beth’s eyes narrowed, heat flaring up in them as she turned slowly again to stare at her sister. “Daryl never pushes me. Daryl let’s me just _be_ , he doesn’t expect anything from me. He _cares_ about me.”

There was that stupid hurt puppy look on Maggie’s face again, and Beth just couldn’t stand it, she _couldn’t stand it_ , she just wanted to scream but Maggie beat her to it. Sharp and hurt, she shot back, “Beth, _I_ care! I’m your sister, for god’s sake!”

“Oh? Oh, you _care_ , do you?” Beth didn’t think she’d ever heard her voice sound like that, all tight and throbbing with anger as she flew to her feet. She didn’t realize they’d gathered an audience as a few members of the group poked their heads out of the back door to see what was happening. She didn’t see Daryl, his steps hurried, coming towards her at the horrible broken tone in her voice. All she saw was Maggie, and her focus narrowed in on her sister all white-hot with anger she hadn’t even realized she’d been keeping inside of her all this time.

“If you care about me so much, Maggie, then why weren’t you with Daryl and Carol when they came to find me? If you care about me so much, why weren’t you with _Rick_ and Daryl and Tyreese and Sasha when they came to get me, huh? Where were you, Maggie? Oh, that’s right, you were on a fucking _bus_ to _Washington DC_. Who cares about your little sister, right Maggie? You and Glenn had a _road trip_ to take!”

“Beth!” Maggie shot to her feet, glaring down at her shorter sister. “It’s not like that! I didn’t know-”

“What? What, tell me Maggie. You didn’t know I was alive? Even though Daryl told you _exactly_ what happened to me after the prison? I _know_ he told you, cause I asked him, and _he_ wouldn’t lie to me. He told you who took me, that I’d been alive then, so don’t try to act like you didn’t know! Or did you just assume I must have gotten killed, once I didn’t have Daryl to keep me safe anymore? Is that it? Just like you figured I must’ve died without you to protect me, after the prison?” 

Maggie looked at her, mouth agape at the sight of her sister, no longer meek and sweet. “Beth, I didn’t-”

“ _No_. Tell me the truth, Maggie. Don’t fucking lie to me anymore.” She wanted to hear it from her sister’s lips, but she couldn’t hold back. It was like her anger was a fire inside of her, a wildfire, and it had built up so big that it was gonna consume her if she didn’t let it out. “You look into my eyes right now and tell me, Maggie. After we got out of the prison and you found those railways tracks and you were writing those messages Daryl told me about, the ones you wrote to lead the way to Terminus, did you even once think to add my name? Did you even once think that maybe your baby sister had gotten out, that even if you weren’t gonna _look_ for her, maybe you leave her signs to find you? Or was the only person you cared about your _boyfriend_ , instead of the sister you promised you’d always protect? Tell me, Maggie! Did you even think to write my name on those signs?”

The fire poured from her mouth, fierce and unstoppable, until it burned her dry and all that remained was a simmer low in her belly and nothing more. Maggie just watched her, eyes wide and mouth open, absolutely nothing to say in reply. In a voice that was as cold as she could make it to mask her breaking heart, Beth replied lowly, “That’s what I thought.”

She turned blindly and fled the fire, trying to take long strides rather than run, climbing frantically over the strung-up cans and stumbling into the forest. It wasn’t long until she was roughly pushing bushes and branches out of her way as she tried in vain to see through the haze of tears. She didn’t get far. The forest was only barely lit by the moonlight above, and it wasn’t like she really wanted to run away. Not that far, anyway, just far enough to feel like she could breathe. Which was exactly what she did, dragging in a deep breath as she fell to her knees and finally let out a low, sharp cry. 

A twig snapped behind her, but Beth didn’t turn to look. She knew who it was, just as easily as she knew he’d purposefully made a sound so she’d know he was coming. _Daryl_. Even as she’d turned and run away, she’d known he would follow her. She’d _wanted_ him to, just as much as she wanted him to drop to the ground with her right now and hold her, or just sit with her... she just wanted him close.

He was being polite though, more of a gentleman than most people might have expected. She could sense him just behind her, standing there watching over her and waiting. Beth dragged in another ragged breath and cut off a low cry before reaching her hand back to him and plaintively whimpering, “ _Please_ , Daryl. Please come here.”

That was all it took for him to close the gap between them. His bow was set in front of them as he dropped to the ground beside her. His arm slid around her back and she turned into him instantly, pressing her face to his chest and breathing in deep as she felt his cheek rest to her head. “Shhhh,” he murmured, echoing the same sounds he made when he comforted her at night after her nightmares, “Shhhh. S’alright, Beth. S’okay.” 

“It’s not,” she ground out, feeling guilt now twinging inside of her in the place where the anger had burned so hotly. “I shouldn’t have said that to her.” 

“Why not?” He paused, and his hand brushed up and down her back. The feeling of his firm, warm palm seemed to chase away her trembling, making her curl into him a little more. “I’m proud of y’.”

“You’re- what? You’re proud of me for- for yelling at my _sister_?” Beth pulled back to look up at him, her eyes wide and shining with tears as she sniffled in confusion.

“Proud of y’ for stickin’ up for yourself. Speakin’ your mind. Lettin’ out that anger you’ve been carryin’ inside for awhile now.” 

His rough voice washed over her, and when she focused on him talking it seemed easier to let her breathing begin to slow a bit. “I didn’t even realize I was angry at her,” Beth admitted in a soft voice. “It sounds dumb, but I didn’t know. I thought everything was just weird because I feel so uncomfortable around everyone, I thought maybe I was a little hurt, or upset. I didn’t realize I was so _angry_.” She drew in a deep breath, subconsciously mimicking the ride and fall of his lungs where she was pressed against him. “You did, though. You seem to notice everything about me, Daryl.” 

He just looked down at her, meeting her eyes without saying a word, not pushing. He never pushed her. She realized all over again how much of a relief that was, how glad she was that he never nagged her to tell him things, never pushed her to talk when she wasn’t ready. It was like fully realizing that made something uncurl inside of her, made her understand that this was just how Daryl was. He’d never push, he’d never judge. He’d never make her feel ashamed, or look at her like she needed to be pitied, even if she told her the whole truth of it. He would never look at her badly.

Beth rested her cheek on his chest, and her voice grew soft as she started without warning,“The first day I was there, they brought this guy in. He’d fallen out of a building and they’d ‘saved’ him. Brought him to the hospital, that was what they considered saving. Healing people if they could, and then telling them they owed them for it. Weak people, they always picked weak people. Like me.” Beth licked her dry lips, and went on, “He was hurt bad, and Dr. Edwards was trying to do what he could, but I guess he wasn’t doing enough, because Dawn got impatient. She slapped me, just to make a point. Opened up the cut on my face. Don’t even know how I got it in the first place, but I had to get it restitched after that. It wasn’t the only time. The other scar on my other cheek, that was her too, after I got Noah out.” 

Her breathing shuddered in her chest as her thoughts skipped backwards. “Before that, they’d brought in this woman. Joan. She’d escaped, but I didn’t understand why at first. It was because one of the cops, G-Gorman... He was raping her. He’d marked her as his, and he was abusing her.” Her voice was hollow and she shivered against Daryl, who tightened his arm around her. “All she’d wanted was to get away, to get free, but she’d gotten bit, trying to escape. They- They made me help hold her down, while they cut her arm off. There was blood everywhere and she was screaming and struggling while I held her down. There was so- so much blood.”

Instinctively she leaned in close to him, but she didn’t stop. She couldn’t. She was finally ready to let it out, to bleed the poison out to him, and she couldn’t stop now. “I killed three men, when I was there. Men. Not walkers. The first was... a patient. I didn’t mean to, I swear I didn’t. Dr. Edwards told me to give him a shot of Clozapine, so I did, and he started to seize, and he died. He did it on purpose. Doctor Edward I mean. He told me the wrong drug, he _used_ me to kill him, because it turned out the guy was a Doctor, and he didn’t want him threatening his position there. He had me kill a man, so he could feel _safe_.” 

Her voice broke and though she felt Daryl’s arms tightening around her, she still couldn’t stop. She needed to get it all out, _now_. Couldn’t stop now that she’d started or she might never manage it. “He was the first. Then came... _Gorman_.” Just the sound of that name again had Daryl stiffening, and she knew he remembered what she’d said about Joan just a minute before. “He said I should have been his. He said I should have been grateful, cause he was one of the ones that found me by the funeral home. He stalked me the way I stalked that rabbit today. He was always watching me, waiting for the right moment. He found me in Dawn’s office the day Noah and I tried to escape. Joan was there, on the ground, she’d killed herself. He was gonna take me right there, right by her dead body. He c-caught me, he had me p-pinned, and his... His hands... And I....” She shook her head, forcing herself to stumble past it with a strangled sound. “I _hit_ him over the head with a jar of those stupid lollipops, just like the one he’d tried to shove in my mouth before. He told me I wasn’t a fighter and I slammed it down on his head just like I knew you would’ve, and Joan got him. She ripped him apart, and I felt _glad_. God, I felt glad, I felt relieved and I felt glad.”

Now it just made her feel sick, especially thinking about how glad she had been then. Beth took a moment to drag in a few strangled breaths as Daryl’s hands rubbed in circles over her back. “The third was O’Donnell. He found out I’d killed Gorman, his _buddy_ , cause he overheard Dawn and me arguing. She was holding it over me. Blaming me. Blaming me for what he’d been about to do to me, before I stopped him. She _knew_ , you know. She knew what all of them did, and she never tried to stop them. Then her and O’Donnell got into a fight, and she begged me for help, and I didn’t even think. I pushed him down the elevator shaft and just watched him fall.”

She gave in with a soft little sob. “I killed him. I killed all of them. Their blood is on my hands. They were bad, Gorman and O’Donnell, but I still killed them, and I killed that Doctor, too, when I just wanted to help him. Am I bad, Daryl? Am I a bad person now?” She looked up at him finally, afraid of what she’d see in his eyes. “I think Dawn thought I was. She told me I was weak. She said I wasn’t the greater good, that I would only be somebody’s burden. Was she right, Daryl?”

He was so quiet, and as afraid as she was, Beth couldn’t look away. Neither did he. His hands shifted to cup her cheeks as he drew her face up so he could look right into her eyes. “ _Never_.” His voice was low, thick with emotion, like he was doing everything he could to push back his own feelings at what she’d told him and focus only on her. “Y’ never were a burden and y’ never will be. An’ that woman was so wrong, because.. Lord, Beth. you're the greatest good I know. you're everythin’ good about this bullshit world.”

He leaned in and his forehead rested against hers as his thumb traced over her jaw. “Before ya came around, I thought there wasn’t nothin’ good left in this world. Till y’ showed me different. Showed me there was hope.” He drew back to look into her eyes and the brush over his thumb over her lower lip had Beth shivering, but even that couldn’t hold a candle to the look in his eyes. “Showed me there was beauty.” He shook his head softly and his eyes were so warm as they held hers. “Y’ asked me that night, what changed my mind. What made me believe there were good people in th’ world. I was an idiot then, for not tellin’ y’ out loud that it was _you_. _You_ made me see that there were good people left, because y’ were th’ purest, most _good_ person I’d ever met.” 

Just like that, Beth forgot how to breathe. But it wasn’t like those panicked moments where all the air seemed sucked away. Instead it was just like... like breathing didn’t even matter anymore. Nothing mattered, except Daryl and the way he was looking at her and the things he was saying. She was so stunned, that all she could do was breathe out in reply, “ _Oh_.” 

To her surprise, he smiled. “Yeah. Somethin’ like that.” 

They held each others gazes for a long moment, and the warmth in his eyes seemed to warm her and chase away all the pain and the fear and the cold. Like he’d just been this low fire, banked and simmering before. Only the more time she spent with him the more that fire slowly began to grow, little by little, until now he warmed her to her core. Beth just wanted to find some way to thank him, to show him how much he mattered to her, how important the things he’d said to her just now were.

The only thing she could think to do was cup his face and lean in slowly to brush her lips across the other cheek. She lingered only a moment, but it was enough to have that heat in her flare until every inch of her felt flushed. Her cheeks were pink as she pulled back, but it was hard to be embarrassed when he looked as flustered as her.

After a long moment, Daryl sighed. “We should go back, soon.”

“I know. But... Can we stay here? Just for a bit?” She shifted to lean back against him and rested her head on his chest as her eyes slowly closed. “I just want to stay with you for a little bit longer. No one else but the two of us.” 

Beth heard the smile in his voice as he slid his arm back around her and held her close. “Sounds perfect to me.” 

So they stayed, ignoring the distant fire behind them. It was just the two of them, surrounded by the dark forest, the only sound the distant hoot of a distant owl, illuminated faintly by the light of the moon filtering through the trees above. For just those few moments, Beth found it easy to believe that they were the only two people left. No one else but her and Daryl, alone in the world but never lonely because they were together and his arm was around her and their hearts had slowed to the same perfect rhythm.

She wasn’t even surprised to realize how right it felt. She just wished it really could last forever.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope everyone enjoyed that. I actually think this is one of my favorite Beth chapters so far, and I hope you agree that it has a nice mix of Bethyl moments and Beth moments. Things had to come to a head with Maggie eventually, right? You gotta let it all out, before anyone can think of working through it! 
> 
> Let me know what you think, I love every one of your comments on this.


	9. Warning Bells

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> There's all sorts of bells going off in Daryl's head, and he isn't as equipped to handle it all as he'd like to be.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I think you'll all really like this one. I hope so, anyway! I swear these chapters get longer each time, I hope no one minds. (Also, I've tried to cut down a bit on writing out Daryl's accent from now on, so I hope it still reads well.)
> 
>  **WARNINGS** : Mentions of assault, a little violence and gore in the opening dream sequence.

_She was right there, standing at the end of the hallway. Endless white stretched on either side, open door after open door after open door, but he barely saw them cause all her saw was her. Beth. Standing there at the end of the hallway in her worn jeans and her yellow shirt, with that sweet little blue cardigan on top. He’d found her, finally. He’d **found** her. Relief surged within him as he broke into a run. All he could think about was getting to her, grabbing her, knowing for sure that she was really there, really real, really alive. He heard her laugh, a bright happy sound that echoed down the hallway as she began to run towards him, blond hair streaming behind her and a smile on her face, and it had to be the most beautiful thing he’d ever seen._

_(Beth, Beth, Beth- BETH!!!)_

_The hallway had been empty, he could have sworn it was empty but suddenly there was a man in a dark blue uniform wrapping his arms around her from behind and pulling her back. Beth was panicked, squirming and fighting and struggling, and he could see both strength and terror etched across her face as the cop gripped her tight and dragged her back into one of the open doors._

_“BETH!”_

_Every single door in the hallway slammed shut at once, and as he spun around, he suddenly realized he didn’t which one she was in, which one that asshole had taken her into. Whoever he was, he was gonna pay._

_(Gotta find her, gotta find her, gotta find her...)_

_He ran forward and chose at random, curling his fingers around a door handle and pulling it open. There was a bed inside and Beth lay there in a dirty hospital gown. The cop stood behind her, pinning her down as the Doctor held her leg and began to saw through it with a dull blade, splattering her blood across the walls as the cop laughed and laughed, “Can’t leave me now, can you Beth?”_

_With a choked sob he fell back and the door slammed shut (not real, not real) and he stumbled forward, reaching for another door and throwing it open (please please be here be okay). She was in the bed again, strapped down by restraints this time, and the cop was leaning over her sliding a needle into her arm. Her eyes blue opened, big and blue, and then she began to shake and seize and the whole bed rattled as he cried out her name. “Beth! No!”_

_Again he whirled around, unable to watch, falling back through the door and stumbling under the weight of what he’d seen. Staggering more than walking, he made his way down the hall to another door, and hesitated only one second before he pushed it open. (This had to be it, this had to be where he saved her.)_

_There was no bed in this room, but Beth and the cop were still there. This time the cop had her pinned between him and a desk, and his hands were gripping her tightly and sliding up under her shirt. The cop turned towards him and he could see the badge (Gorman) glinting on his chest. “Too late, red neck. She’s mine now. I **claimed** her, and you know claiming is law around here now.” The man gripping her hip and pulled Beth in close and he growled low in his throat at the panicked sound she made. He could see her hand reaching, grasping for the jar that was supposed to be there to save her, but she couldn’t find it . “Now now, that won’t do.” He was rooted to the spot, unable to do anything but watch as the Officer raised his gun and shot her, right in the head, marring the pale flesh of her forehead with a dark and ugly wound._

_Only then could he move, his feet coming unglued as hurried towards her. She had fallen on the ground in a slowly-growing pool of her blood and he was whining in panic low in his throat. (It’s okay, it’s okay, she’s breathing, you know she’s breathing!)_

_But when he dropped to his knees and scooped her into his arms, there was no faint whisper of breath against his cheek. There was only a low, gurgling groan, and god no, god no, not that, not that! Panicked, he looked down into her face, aching to see those big blue eyes fixed on him. But all he saw were dead milky eyes and a bloody face and Beth, turning to look up at him, no longer human anymore, her mouth opening to devour him..._

_“Please no, please please, not-”_

“Beth! Not Beth, no!” Daryl woke up with a cry and a gasp and sat up straight, dislodging the warm weight that had been resting against him. He was drenched in sweat and he couldn’t breathe and his hair was plastered to his face. Everything was a dull roar in his head, panic and anger and so much pain and fear, and all he could see was Beth with those dead walker eyes, reaching for him, gurgling, blood dripping from that bullet hole right through her forehead. 

He shuddered and dragged in a ragged breath, and it was only then that her voice registered beside him. “Daryl? Daryl, please look at me. Daryl, it’s me, it’s Beth, you had a nightmare, oh please Daryl...” 

Daryl only looked at her for one second. Just long enough to see her blonde hair and pale face and those big blue eyes shining in the moonlight (bright, alive, not dead), but that was all he needed. He reached for her, moving on pure instinct as his arms wrapped around her and pulled her sideways into his lap. She seemed surprised for only a moment and then instantly settled into him to curl her warm weight against his chest. He felt her tiny hands brushing around his shoulders to cup the back of his neck and he knew that with the way she was pressed against him she must be able to feel his heart racing away like it was trying to pound right through his chest.

“It’s okay,” she murmured by his ear, sending a shiver through him when she began to combed her fingers into his long, dirty hair. “It’s okay, it was just a bad dream, Daryl. It’s over now, it’s alright.”

“S’not alright...” Daryl’s voice was low and thick with sleep, but rougher than usual from his panic. “Dreamed they got you. That cop, he had ya. Couldn’t save you, Beth. Watched him kill you again an’ again, then he shot you just like she did and you turned right in my arms, an’ it was all my fault...”

“Shhh, no, no, Daryl.” She wrapped her arms tighter around him and though he felt her shift to rest her forehead against his, Daryl kept his eyes closed. He was afraid to look and see that it wasn’t a dream, afraid to see those dead hazy eyes instead of the blue ones that mesmerized him so much. His hands trembled where he held her close, hell, his whole damn body was trembling and he couldn’t stop it. All he could was listen to her as she kept murmuring, “I’m right here. I’m not dead, okay? You can feel me right here in your arms, Daryl. I’m not dead, we got out, remember? And _nothing_ that happened to me was your fault.” 

Each word she uttered made him shudder, but each uncontrolled movement was like a release, even as he clutched her closer. The nightmare began to fall away inch by inch, leaving him aware of the cool night air, and the sound of cicadas around them. He remembered where they were, finally, as it all began to register. Earlier he’d had watch duty, and Beth had come to join him because she couldn’t sleep inside where she felt trapped and surrounded. He’d let her fall asleep beside him and when Michonne had come to relieve him for the next watch, he’d picked her up and carried her to the relative safety of the little back porch; outside, but still in some shelter. She’d only woken up long enough to curl against him as he leaned back against the wall, and then they’d both drifted back to sleep. 

For a long time he’d almost never been able to sleep for more than a couple hours, and that was hard-earned. He’d told himself he hadn’t needed it, and his body had adjusted somewhat. Ever since he’d found Beth again and they’d started sleeping side by side, then hand-in-hand, and he last couple nights with her curled up against him, he’d found himself falling asleep so much easier every night. Somehow his usual nightmares had vanished, at least for now. He didn’t have to watch his mother burn up, or dream of his father beating him over and over, or hear Merle whispering in his ear over and over about what kind of person he really was. He’d just been able to sleep... Until tonight. 

Earlier, in the woods, she’d finally broken down and told him most of what had happened to her back at that shithole hospital, and Daryl knew that was what had sparked his nightmares tonight. Knowing what she’d gone through, that he hadn’t been there to stop it, that it all could have been avoided...

“Shoulda never let you get taken,” he grunted out lowly. He looked down into his lap, cause he didn’t deserve to look at her right now, especially when he could imagine just how she’d look at him; all sweet and concerned without a hint of judgment. He deserved judgment. “Shouda never told you to run. Shoulda stayed with ya, or been there t’ stop them. Shoulda run harder an’ faster to find you...” 

He could feel her shaking her head at him but his gaze stayed in his lap until her soft hands slid up to cup his face. She was gentle but insistent, guiding him up until he looked into her eyes. “You stop that right now, Daryl Dixon. You were just trying to save me, that night. You were right to tell me to run, if I’d stayed I might have gotten bit, and then I wouldn’t be here at all now.”

The image of her and those cloudy dead eyes flashed into his mind and Daryl shuddered. His fingers curled into her back and pulled a soft gasp from her before she settled closer. “You didn’t know that it was a trap, that they’d be waiting for me. Neither of us wanted to believe it could be a trap. No one can blame us for wanting to believe it was something good.” Daryl opened his mouth to argue, and instead found her finger pressing softly to his lips. “No, not even you. Not after that night, okay? No matter what happened after, that was a good night, and there was nothing you could do, to stop what happened after. It’s _not your fault_ , okay?” 

She was peering into his eyes like she wasn’t gonna take no for an answer, and he couldn’t say it anyway, even if he wanted to. He didn’t want to hurt her. But he didn’t say okay, either, just looked into her eyes with a resigned expression on his face.

“If I have to, I’ll keep reminding you,” Beth murmured, and that got the tiniest little twitch at the corner of his lips. It wasn’t the first time she’d promised to remind him of certain things. With a sigh he brushed his hands over her warm body, splaying one at her hip and the other at her back.

“Thought it was real, for a moment. Though you was dead, thought I’d lost you.” His voice was rough still, almost ragged now, and just speaking the words out loud made him shudder.

“Well you didn’t,” she whispered, “I’m alive, Daryl. I’ve alive and I’m right here, and I’m not going anywhere.”

He looked into her eyes, so big and honest they kinda shone with it. Like she was so pure and good it just overflowed from within her, spilling into those cornflower blue eyes like the ocean, or the sky above on a clear day. Without warning a thought popped into his head, and it was so unexpected that he even considered it for a moment before shoving it away.

The fact remained, though, that he had considered it for just a moment. He had looked at her with that sweet honest face and that pureness in her voice, and he’d just wanted to close the gap between them and kiss those soft pink lips. Just once, just to see if he could taste the sunshine on her lips. Maybe if he kissed her, she could pass even more of it onto him.

There was Merle’s voice finally, whispering in the back of his mind, confirming what he already knew: _Man like you ain’t never gonna touch a girl like that, Daryl. Even if she is a hot little piece._

He must have shuddered at the voice in his head because she was curled closer and running her fingers down his cheek, and her gentle touch seemed to banish his dead brother’s voice. For now, anyway. “You should finish sleepin’,” he murmured after a few moments of peaceful silence. “You need to keep healin’. Should rest.”

“I will if you will...” She hummed and rested her head on his shoulder but stayed there, curled in his arms and not pulling away, and he didn’t have it in him to push her away. With the nightmare still lingering around the edges of his mind, he needed her there, warm and alive, a reminder that she’d made it.

“I’ll try,” was the best promise he could give her. He did try, at least a bit, but there was no going back to sleep for him tonight, not after that nightmare. Eventually Beth drifted back to sleep in his arms but even in her sleep she held onto him and comforted him, and Daryl was happy to just enjoy that, to drink in this moment and store it up in his mind, so he’d always have the memory of her trusting him and caring about him so much that she’d fall asleep curled up in his arms.

***

The sun had risen to her still snug in his arms with her cheek pressed warm to his shoulder and her hair in his face. He’d begin to drift a little bit towards the end of the night, although he didn’t fall asleep, and the sound of the door opening jarred him more firmly awake. Of course it had been Rick coming out to check on things, and Daryl definitely hadn’t missed the shifting expressions across the man’s face as he’d taken in the sight of Daryl with Beth curled up asleep in his lap. Daryl had stared almost defiantly back until Beth began to stir and just like that his focus had been entirely on her. He had only dimly registered Rick walking off, but he knew that Rick wasn’t gonna continue to not say anything.

In fact he’d been bracing for it all day as the group began to pack up. Michonne had apparently seen a few walkers in the woods last night and none of them wanted to stick around to see if a larger group decided to come by. After a couple days rest they all seemed better about getting a move on, and everyone had moved without reluctance around the camp to get things packed up.

Daryl had been keeping an eye on the woods as everyone else worked. He had his bow in his hand, dangling down by his knee but ready to lift it quickly if needed. His gaze alternated between the woods and the empty fire-pit, where Beth was currently sitting keeping Judy occupied after Carl had given the baby to her about a half hour ago. It was while he watched her that he saw Rick coming up from the corner of his eye to settle against a tree beside him.

Both the men were silent for a few moments before Rick asked casually, “How’s she doing?” 

Daryl shrugged, but after a couple seconds of silence he added, “Why’re you askin’ me for?”

“Cause you seem to notice how she’s doing, better than any of the rest of us.” Rick paused and Daryl could hear in the man’s voice that he was being careful. “She’s been through a lot. The hospital, that fight with her sister yesterday. I see things, here and there, but I don’t reckon any of us really know what she’s gone through... ‘cept maybe you.”

His brow furrowed and though he shrugged again, his gaze shifted to her to linger and watch as she played with Judith. “Ain’t no rule says she has to tell all of ya’ll what she went through.”

“I know,” Rick said amiably. “We all have a right to keep things to ourselves, if we need to.” It got quiet again, and Daryl could feel Rick’s eyes on him, studying him with those damn perceptive cop eyes. “I just want you to be careful, with her.”

Daryl turned sharply to fix his eyes on the man. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

“Nothing, it’s just, well I’ve seen how you are with her...” 

“Yeah? How am I?” He braced himself for what he knew was coming, the judgment about how he was gettin’ too close to her, how it wasn’t right cause she was sweet innocent Beth and he was just some dumb, dirty redneck. 

When Rick finally spoke in that steadied, measured tone, it caught him completely off guard. “Like you understand each other.” Daryl just blinked at him, and Rick kept going, “You’re like partners, I reckon. The good kind, you know, those partners that maybe you wouldn’t expect to make a good team, but it turns out they complement each other better than anyone would have guessed.” He kept that measured stare on Daryl for a long moment, “I guess the two of you had time to get close, when you were on your own.”

“Yeah, guess we did.” He didn’t know what else to say, and he sort of felt a bit exposed somehow. The tips of his ears were all warm and red as he looked down and scuffed his foot against the ground. 

“Just... Be careful, alright? I don’t want either of you getting hurt, or messin’ something up.” 

Daryl’s head came up sharply. “You talkin’ ‘bout me, right? You think I’ll mess it up, I’ll hurt her? I would _never_ -”

“Daryl. I know.” Rick’s firm words cut him off and again Daryl just blinked at him until Rick sighed. “I just worry, about everyone. We’re family, all of us. I don’t want any of us getting hurt, and when emotions start to get involved, the risks run higher and higher.”

Now Daryl scuffed his foot against the ground and grunted. “Don’t know nothin’ bout emotions, or whatever you’re talking about.” (Even as he said it her face flashed into his mind, a memory of her from last night, all glowing in the moonlight as he’d gazed down at her lips and fought the sudden desire to kiss her.)

“Okay,” Rick said easily. With his head down, Daryl missed the knowing expression on the man’s face. Probably a good thing, considering he might not have reacted well.

Instead he stayed quiet for a moment before he added roughly, “You should stop treatin’ her like she’s the same as she was, before. Cause she ain’t. She’s changed and it hurts her when ya’ll keep actin’ like she’s still just Judith’s babysitter, some girl you think you need t’ protect.” 

He watched Rick’s eyes stray to Beth and his own eyes followed. She was playing with Judith when Carol came up behind her and rested her hand on Beth’s shoulder. Beth pulled away instinctively, and the frown lingered just a moment before she pasted a tight fake smile onto her lips. Seeing Rick look questioningly over at him, Daryl replied, “Don’t mean just that. I mean, that’s part of it, and I’d like if you’d, y’know... have a quiet word with people, ask them to try not t’ touch her so much. She don’t like it and no one seems to notice.” 

His gaze strayed back to her, lingering on her until she sensed her gaze and looked up at him and that tight smile faded into something softer and more genuine. “I meant you should let her do other things,” he went on after a moment as he looked back to Rick. “I know she’s good with Lil’ Asskicker, but that ain’t all she’s good at. She caught that rabbit last night. She can track and hunt and she’s a good shot, with my bow and a gun. Meant it yesterday, when I said there weren’t no one else I’d want as a partner.” 

Rick gave another slow nod, even as he kept studying the face of the man he thought of as his right-hand man. “And if she’s out with you, it’ll give her some of the space she needs, too. Right?”

“Yeah, I guess.” Daryl shrugged, but he wouldn’t have said it at all if he didn’t agree.

“Alright. I’ll keep it in mind.” Rick pushed off the tree and nudged Daryl gently in the arm. “I’m glad she’s back, y’know. For her sake. But also cause it’s been a long time since I’ve seen you smile, let alone talk as much as you did just then.”

Daryl tried to look stern for a moment but he heard her soft laugh at Judith and a smile flickered across his lips. Pushing off the tree, he nudged his arm against Rick’s and grunted, “Aww, shut up.” But he was smiling as he headed off towards Beth, even though some of what Rick had said was lingering in his mind and making him consider all sorts of new things.

***

After his talk with Rick, Daryl had felt a lot more aware of the group around them. Maggie’s general discomfort was obvious; she stayed far away from Beth with a mix of guilt and hurt and anger and confusion on her face. But other things stuck out to Daryl as well, like the little smirk Michonne gave him, or the way Carol’s gaze strayed from him to Beth and back again with a little smile on her lips. 

He didn’t like the way they all kept doing things like that. Like they knew something, or _thought_ they did, anyway. Wasn’t like it was the first time people had started assuming things about him, but it bothered Daryl more than usual this time, and he knew why. Cause it was about Beth, too. She was already having enough trouble coping and fitting in, and she didn’t need people watching her and giving her little knowing smiles, even if there _had_ been anything going on.

(Which there wasn’t, of course, or so he kept telling himself. Even if every once in awhile he’d look at her and she’d smile at him and he’d think about last night and that unexpected desire to kiss her. He kept telling himself he’d just been upset from that dream, he hadn’t been himself, it didn’t mean nothing. And it worked. Sort of.) 

It had flitted briefly into his mind that maybe if he kept away from her people would leave her alone, but he dismissed that thought so fast it was surprising. In the past he wouldn’t have hesitated. Anything confusing like this and he would have just avoided her, pushed her away. Kept his space. Not with Beth, though. Part of it was that she needed him. He’d never tear away anything Beth needed, never hurt her if he could help it. The other truth was that it felt good to be needed, and that although it was hard to admit except in a whisper to himself, he needed her too. He needed her close, shining that sunshine warmth on him and reminding him that the world wasn’t as dark and horrible as it seemed. He needed her just there, being herself. 

So in the end he was glad Rick had casually suggested that he and Beth take the lead in that same beat-up truck, driving ahead of the group just enough to keep an eye out for any trouble, or anywhere they could stop to look for supplies. They desperately needed to stock up on food, and with new members in their group they could do with more weapons, among other things. 

They’d been driving for a couple hours without stopping, since he and Beth hadn’t spotted anything except a lone house here and there off the side of the road, too exposed and likely without anything useful inside. Sometimes she would chat with him like she used to, telling him some story about her Daddy or her Mama or her brother, or Maggie. She kept trailing off a lot, though, and he knew that talking about them made her sad as much as it was good to remember.

The silence was never uncomfortable between them, just casual, normal. Occasionally though, he found himself longing for her to fill it with her soft, sweet voice; babbling away at him, or even humming a little tune. (Which was funny, cause it used to be he could never get her to shut up. After the moonshine shack she was almost always rambling away at him, telling stories and jokes, teasing him, and humming to herself or singing little songs as they walked. He’d told himself it was irritating, but it never had been, and he’d missed it so bad when she was gone.) 

Now he had the urge to coax her into filling the silence like that again. His fingers drummed on the wheel as his gaze shifted from the road, to her, and back again. He saw a faint smile on her face as she sat there with her head tipped against the glass. She was looking out at the road passing by, but he knew she could tell he was watching her, cause after a moment she lifted her head and shifted a little closer to him again.

“Maybe you should sing, or somethin’.” The words came out before he could stop himself. He glanced nervously over at her, and was surprised to find that even though she had a faint smile on her lips, there was a sort of unsure, worried look in her eyes for a moment before it disappeared.

“Thought you hated my singing.” She almost managed to sound casual and playful, but there was something else in there, something a little bit too tense for his liking.

“Well,” he drawled, gesturing to the truck radio, “Ain’t like the radio stations are workin’ anymore.”

The echoes of a conversation that they’d had once before put a smile on both their lips, but again Beth hesitated and fell quiet rather than answering. This time the quiet lingered, and it was uneasy rather than peaceful and natural. He felt like kicking himself for bringing it up, cause it was obvious he’d said the wrong thing. He shouldn’t have been surprised, really. He was bound to fuck up one of these times.

With his eyes focused on the road and his fingers curling tighter around the steering wheel, he said roughly, “Sorry.”

Her gaze darted back to him. “What? Daryl, don’t apologize. You didn’t do anything wrong, it’s just...” She trailed off for a moment and when he glanced at her, she was looking out the window again up ahead. He let her have her silence this time, more than willing to wait patiently until she was finally ready to continue, “I haven’t really... sang. Since that night in the funeral home.” Her voice seemed softer than usual, and it wasn’t just cause of the faint rushing of wind through the cracked window. “Once, I guess, with Hank. But it was more humming than anything else, and that was before...” 

She trailed off without finishing, but he didn’t need her to. Course he had no idea which exact traumatic event it was, but it must have been before one of the several horrible things that had happened to her there. His bet was on Gorman, who Daryl would have killed several times over if Beth hadn’t beaten him to it. (He’d never even met the guy, but after that dream last night he could hear a faint echo in him mind, of the man saying she was _claimed_.)

Thoughts like that wouldn’t help her right now, though. “I’d offer t’ sing,” he said with a chuckle, “But there ain’t no way you’d like that. Trust me, I can’t carry a tune in a bucket.” 

Beth smiled, and he felt the air in the cab of the truck lighten. “My Daddy was like that. I got my voice from Mama, but Daddy couldn’t sing for beans, she used to say.” She paused and then shifted a little closer to him on the long seat and this time when her fingers curled, he felt them right against the side of his thigh as she darted him a little glance. “I think you wouldn’t be so bad. You’ve got a nice voice, you know... When you talk.”

“Which ain’t often.” He joked because he had to, just to cover the way the tips of his ears felt hot again, and the fact that hearing her say that had given him a pleased little thrill. He had no right, liking the fact that she enjoyed his voice, but he couldn’t help it. “Trust me, my voice ain’t nothin’ compared to yours. An’ for the record, I missed yours. Much as I complained about it.” He cleared his throat and then shrugged after glancing quickly between her and the road. “But it’s alright, if you don’t wanna sing. You ain’t never got to do anythin’ you don’t want to, with me.” 

Beth seemed to accept that with a gentle nod, and they well once again into a companionable silence that stretched easily from ten minutes into twenty. Gradually she shifted closer to him and tipped her head onto his shoulder. He breathed in deep, marveling at how even though none of them had showered in a few days he could still faintly smell strawberries in her hair, lingering in his nose as she rested there. 

He would have been more than content to keep driving on like that in quiet, but just a few minutes later he was surprised to hear something breaking their silence. A faint humming filled the air around him, soft at first and then gradually growing a little louder. When he stole a glance at her she had her eyes pressed shut, but she looked relaxed there, resting with her cheek on his shoulder. He could feel the warmth and he had a feeling she liked that too, judging by the way her hand brushed softly up and down near his knee.

Daryl had no intention of pressuring her. He just let her be. He was too grateful to have her there, soft and warm and relaxed enough to hum. He never even dared to hope or expect that she might do more.

“ _[Yesterday, I woke up, with your head on my arm](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FmlDWR1QGuk)... My hand was numb, circulation gone, but I dared not move, the pretty sleeping one..._

Her voice was soft, but it filled the space nonetheless. It twined around him, sweet and so pure, like he imagined it might be to curl up by the fire on a freezing cold night, wrapped up in blankets and a lover’s arms.

(As if he even knew what it was like to be wrapped up in a lover’s arms.)

“ _I will sing you morning lullabies, you are beautiful and peaceful this way. I know you have to close your eyes on everyone, let me help you, I’ll sing you to sleep, with morning lullabies._ ” 

He lifted one hand from the wheel and slid his arm casually over her shoulder, and as her sweet voice continued to fill the small space, he let himself give in to the urge to curl his fingers through the loose strands of her blond hair where they fell over her shoulder. The words of the song tugged at something inside of him, something rooted so deep he didn’t think it had ever felt the light of day. Like an old locked chest buried deep, deep in the ground, kept hidden by the thick dark roots of some old and aging tree. Forgotten, until now.

“ _And I will hear you tumble into sleep, I will watch you heal, I will watch you heal with me..._ ”

Her fingers curled against his thigh and he drew in a breath more sharply than he intended. He glanced over at her but she didn’t stop, and he felt the worry fade, though the thick sensation in his throat didn’t go away. Especially now when she looked up at him and her blue eyes caressed his face as she finished:

“ _Let me help you, I’ll sing you to sleep, with morning lulla-bye, bye baby. Close your eyes, and I will sing you morning lullabies..._ ” 

When it fell, the silence was both a relief and a curse. A part of him felt like if she kept singing he would have lost whatever fragile control he had over the rising tide of unfamiliar emotions inside of him. If she’d kept singing, it would have undone him, and whatever that thick feeling in his throat was, it would have found it’s way out of him and he had no idea what would have happened then. Yet when the silence fell, it felt like a curse too, because a part of him thought he could have happily listened to her voice filling the truck for the rest of the day. It was the most beautiful sound he’d ever heard, even before the world went bad.

It took him a few moments to compose himself enough that he could speak, though she was so at ease beside him that he didn’t feel pressured. When he finally spoke his voice was a bit more thick than he would have liked, “You sing that to Lil’ Asskicker?”

She just smiled. “Nope. She’d probably like it, but no, I never have.” Her fingers splayed against his thigh, and she finished, “That was just for you. I remembered it last night, when you woke up from that nightmare so... upset. I wanted to sing it for you this morning, but I guess I wasn’t ready yet, or maybe I was afraid. But anyway, it was... For you. Yours, I mean. No one elses’.”

He found he liked the idea that it was a song she’d sang just for him. He _really_ liked it, so much that he could feel that thickness rising in his throat again as something went all warm and fluttery inside of him. Too far gone to stop himself, he found his head turning slowly. His eyes met hers and she was so close, just a few scant inches from his face really. If the car hit a bump, he might accidentally close those inches and brush against her by accident. His lips parted and his voice sounded distant to his own ears as he breathed out, “Beth...” 

The little intake of breath seemed to hitch in Beth’s throat, and he realized he wasn’t imagining the way she leaned in a little closer, the way her eyes dropped briefly down to his lips. _Fuck_. How was he supposed to stop himself now, when all he could think about was closing the last inch between them, and...

_BEEP!_

From behind them came the sharp quick hit of a horn, and Beth and Daryl both jumped and gasped. The truck swayed but only slightly as Daryl got a handle on the wheel and straightened them out. 

“What the _hell_!”

He couldn’t help it, he laughed. “Did you just _curse_ , Greene?” 

When Daryl looked over at her she was all flushed pink and her eyes were so damn big and bright and god, did she look good. Good, and not upset, at least not as him. It sent a surge of relief through him before he focused on what she was saying. “Well, they startled me, lord! What the crap are they even honking for?”

Amused that she’d said ‘hell’ but then went right back to ‘crap’, Daryl shook his head and peered around them. It seemed one of the cars had caught up to them, he must have slowed down a bit while he got caught up in Beth’s voice. He thought maybe they’d been honking to get them to speed up, but just then the car (with Michonne at the wheel) pulled alongside and he saw her pointing up ahead. When he turned to look, he could see what looked like the start of a town in the distance; if you could call it a town, anyway. It was one of those road-towns, just businesses lining a street to catch the traffic that came through with a few houses scattered out behind it on either side.

“Well. Looks like we’re makin’ a pit stop after all.”

She was quiet long enough that he cast her a nervous look, only to be met by a faint reassuring smile on her face as she teased, “I’m totally gonna lecture Michonne about almost making us drive off the road. But only if you hold her katana, cause you know, I’d like to keep my head where it is.”

And he laughed. Because there wasn’t much else he could do. He laughed, because it was safer than considering that he’d been about to kiss Beth Greene, and maybe (just maybe) she’d wanted to kiss him, too, and right now, that was just too much to consider. It was better to laugh it off, and focus on the task at hand.

The problem was, that was easier said than done. ‘Almost kissed Beth’ was the sort of thing that tended to linger on a man’s mind, even if he wanted to focus. It was like a little voice that hovered there just under the surface, whispering away about her soft lips and the way they curved up in a smile every time he looked at her. The whisper wasn’t so bad; it even managed to keep Merle’s voice at bay, so he didn’t have to listen to any rude mental remarks about what kinda ‘piece’ Beth was.

In the end though, maybe that whispered voice was just a little too loud. Not enough to completely override his instincts, but enough to distract them, so he didn’t hear those warning bells in his mind as quickly as he might have normally. It wasn’t until their little group (Rick, Michonne, Maggie, Glenn, Sasha, him, and Beth) were in the center of town, ranged out in a little circle, that his warning bells finally clanged loud enough for him to notice through his hazy thoughts.

“Wait...” He held up his hand, speaking softly, but it was too late. With a rough bang, the door of a store to their right burst open and at least ten or more walkers began stumbling out towards them. As if the sound of their groans were a summons, more walkers began to appear, coming from each alleyway and spilling into the street. There had to be at least two dozen, maybe even more. A small herd, by the looks of it, and he’d been so dazed he let them walk right into this death trap.

Rick’s voice echoed behind him, “Fall back!” But the walkers were coming on too fast, weaving between them and splitting their loose group apart. As he lifted his bow and shot a walker right through the eye he saw Michonne and Rick backing off to the left, blood splattering with each sharp flash of Michonne’s blade. He turned, desperate to keep his eyes on Beth, and saw Maggie trip and stumble backwards to the left with Glenn and Sasha protecting her as best they could as a group of walkers surged towards them.

He heard a sharp cry of his name and turned fast, his chest tight, just in time to see a walker inches from his face explode freeze as Beth’s blade slammed into it’s skull from behind. When the walker dropped to the ground between them, Beth said calmly, “Don’t go losing that focus on me now, Dixon.”

“Shit, girl.” He reached for her just as a fresh group of walkers came right at them, splitting them apart from the others even more. There were more of them coming from down the road and he’d been wrong; it wasn’t a small herd but a good-sized one, and that was major fucking trouble.

“C’mon,” he growled, tugging on her arm and pulling her back even as she looked desperately back at the others. 

Despite the fight they’d had last night, he heard desperation in Beth’s voice as she cried out, “Maggie!”

There was a gurgling groan from the growing crowd of walkers, and then he heard Maggie call back from what sounded like the opposite side of the street, “Beth!”

“We gotta _go_ , there’s too many! We can’t fight them all, Beth, come on!”

“I know, I know!” She cast one last frantic glance over her shoulder and then spun around with a rough, “ _Shit_.” In a move he remembered doing himself many times, she kicked a nearby walker in it’s knee and sent it to the ground, but with the press of walkers coming towards them, neither of them had time to finish it off. All Daryl could think about was getting her safe, getting her out of this.

So with a prayer on his lips he pulled open the nearest door and shoved her inside, before spinning around to try and slam it shut as quickly as he could. He wasn’t quick enough. A walker arm got through, and then a head, and Daryl grunted as he tried to push against the door. The fucker was wedging the door open, but he couldn’t hold it shut and kill the walker at the same time, and if he let go the door would fall open and the lot of them would be on him and Beth quicker than Merle used to grab onto a good bag of meth. 

“Beth!” He only had to call her name once before she was there, gripping the bone handle of her knife and slamming it down right into the walkers skull with a wet sound that he’d long grown accustomed to. The walker went limp and with Beth there to help him they had just enough leverage to slam the door shut and lock it, trapping the walkers outside.

And locking them in. Wherever they were... and with whatever else might have been in there, too.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dun dun dunnnnnn. Yep, I did it. I ended on a cliffhanger, _and_ right after a poorly timed interruption of a very nice moment, too. I am just _awful_ , I know. But I still hope you liked this chapter! I wanted things to progress between the two of them, but I also didn't want things to move _too_ fast. It just wouldn't be right, with them. 
> 
> The song that Beth sings is [Morning Lullabies](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FmlDWR1QGuk) by Ingrid Michaelson. It's just my own personal headcanon that Beth listens to Ingrid. It seems like the sort of music she'd love, and also the sort of music her voice would be suited to. 
> 
> Next chapter MAY be in Beth's perspective, but it might be in Daryl's. Originally this chapter was supposed to continue, but the prior scenes got so long that I had to split it, so I guess we'll see how it goes. Your comments are love, as always!
> 
>  
> 
> **ETA: If you're interested in something slightly different, please check out the (nsfw) Bethyl One-Shot I just posted. It's a non-zombie AU where Beth is a musician and Daryl is a music blogger, and she gets him back for teasing her one night with a new naughty song. It's called[Just Pretend](http://archiveofourown.org/works/2753423). Thanks!**


	10. Don't You Feel It?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Trapped together to wait out a herd of walkers, Daryl and Beth have a chance to confront some of their burgeoning feelings.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SORRY THIS IS SO LATE! My brain gets more and more dead the later it gets in the week. That said, this did end up in Daryl's perspective again, and despite my exhaustion I still like it. I hope you do, too.
> 
>  **Optional Soundtrack:** [Breathe in Breathe Out](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g0KsiAzvGpE) by Mat Kearney. (Recommended to me by a fan of the story!)

As soon as the door was locked, Daryl spun around to face Beth. His hands found her arms, sliding up over the smooth bare skin there as he looked down into her eyes, just visible in the dim light. “You okay?” He knew he should be more focused on their situation and figuring out where the hell they were and what the hell they needed to do next, but he was consumed with a desire (no, a _need_ ) to make sure Beth was alright. He _had_ to be sure she was okay.

He could feel her faintly trembling under his touch, but it felt more like adrenaline than anything else. He could understand that, his own heart was racing a mile a minute right now, after the unexpected attack outside. Beth nodded up at him, and replied softly, “I’m okay.” He felt relief surging through him, but he didn’t pull away.

Concern filled Beth’s voice in turn as she leaned in closer, her own hands coming up to brush over his chest as if checking for injuries. “Are _you_ okay?” He felt pulled in by the worry in her eyes; impossible to ignore even if he’d wanted to.

Smoothing his hands down over her arms again, Daryl nodded. “Yeah. M’alright. Feelin’ a bit trapped, but it could be worse.” They both chuckled and Daryl felt himself relax a tiny bit more in the confirmation that she really was okay. As soon as he relaxed that little bit, he suddenly became _very_ aware of just how close they were standing. They were just a few inches apart, his hands brushing up and down her arms and hers resting on his chest. They were so close that they were almost breathing each others’ breaths. Their eyes met and held, and he could see the same relief in her eyes, making something warm and unexpected flash between them in a way that had Daryl’s breath hitching faintly.

It took all his willpower not to jerk back in response; but he didn’t, because it was Beth, and he was trying so hard to be good to her. Instead he squeezed her arms one more time and then slowly (reluctantly) dropped his hands. Daryl ran his fingers through his hair and sighed heavily before he suggested, “Should figure out where the hell we are. Might have to stay here a bit, till those walkers clear out. Could be the safest option.”

He cast a nervous glance at the door, unsure of how long that lock would hold against the press of walkers outside. It was Beth who came up next to him and said, “We could push something up against it, maybe block it off and make it harder for them to get in? There must be something around here we can use...” 

Beth’s words finally reminded him to look around, and he chided himself mentally for getting so distracted by her a second ago. He’d only wanted to make sure she was okay, but _keeping_ her okay meant he had to be more careful. He had to be vigilant, he had to see _everything_. He couldn’t keep getting distracted and leading them into traps like he had today. It was a risk to her life that he refused to allow.

(The last time he’d done that, he’d lost her. God, he couldn’t go through that again. It would only hurt more now, to have her torn away from him after he’d seen her practically come back to life in front of his eyes.)

From behind him came her voice again. “Here.” Daryl blinked when a soft circle of light appeared on the wall in front of him, and glanced over his shoulder to see Beth standing there holding a bright yellow flashlight, looking proud of herself in a way that reminded him of those first days training her in the woods. “Carl gave it to me this morning, before we left. He thought I might need it.” She just kept smiling at him.“I wouldn’t waste it normally, but I figure we need it right now.” 

She thought on her feet, and he appreciated that. The woman she was in his mind now, so strong and clever and brave, was such a sharp contrast to the girl he’d once seen her as in so many ways. But there was no time now to think of how much Beth had changed, though, let alone how the way he thought and felt about her had changed as well. They needed to figure out their situation, and quick, so he forced his focus back to the task at hand and shoved those thoughts away for now.

Daryl turned slowly as Beth did, following the path of the flashlight as she illuminated the room they were in. The floor beneath them was linoleum, the walls were paneled in wood, and dust swirled in the beam of light as it moved across a long wall. There were a couple chairs against it, set on either side of a bulletin board cluttered with fliers that had curled and aged over the years without anyone to tend to them. Her flashlight trailed across a desk in the corner, covered in what looked like blank envelopes and boxes, and a big cup full of pens. On the opposite side Beth’s flashlight illuminated the glint of metal in rows of little squares, and to the left of that an opening in the wall with the glimpse of a room behind where more white walls were just faintly visible.

“It’s a post office!” Beth beat him to the punch with her exclamation, and he just chuckled. “We had one like this, near the farmhouse.” She paused only a moment and he saw her swallow hard before she went on, “It was about this size, anyway. The postman knew _everyone_. When I was little, I used to have a penpal in California. I always got _so_ excited for her letters, cause it was just so novel to me, you know? Every time one came in, the postman would call us up and Daddy would let me ride with him in the truck out to the post office so I could pick it up in person. He always handed it to me like it was the most important letter in the whole place.” 

Her voice trembled and he saw her hand tighten on the flashlight as she renewed her focus. She swung the light around to the desk by the door. “Look! We could use that, maybe? Clear all the envelopes and pens off, and move the desk against the door, yeah?”

When she pointed the flashlight beam at the ground and looked over at him, Daryl reached out to gently squeeze her arm, wanting to reassure her. She was pushing ahead but he could see the sadness in her eyes and he knew she was remembering her old home, her Daddy, her happy childhood. He’d never had a happy childhood, but he could imagine hers surprisingly easily. He could just picture her, all tiny and bubbly, blond hair bright in the sun and tied back into pigtails as she rode into town in her Daddy’s truck, and bounced right in here, making everyone in the post office smile at her sweetness. 

It took a surprising amount of fight to resist the urge to wrap his arms around her in a hug but there was still work to be done. “C’mon. Let’s move that desk like you said, an’ then we can see what else there is here.”

He caught one little sad smile from her and then she was all business again. “There’s probably an office back behind that opening, at least. I’d bet on there being at least one more room besides it, too, like an office for the post-master, or something.” Beth moved as she spoke, setting the flashlight down on one of the chairs to point it at the desk and door. He watched as she busily cleared off the desk, though he didn’t fail to notice the way she slid a couple pens out of one of the cups and into her bag.

(The sight brought back a flash of memory of her sitting on the ground with her back to a tree. She had her knees tucked up and that small familiar journal in her lap as she scribbled away, unaware he was watching. He watched her a lot, those days when it was just the two of them. Despite always be worried she’d catch him, sometimes he let her. It was always worth it, cause every once in awhile she’d brush her hair out of her face and look at him, and instead of seeing sadness in her eyes she would just smile at him all soft and sweet and happy.)

He’d left her journal back with her back, forgotten as he raced down the road after the real thing, _Beth_ , the night she’d been taken away from him. He regretted that, but he would chose her over that bag any day. Even still, when he saw her slide those pens away he made a promise to himself to find her a new journal. She deserved a fresh start, without a doubt. Daryl filed that thought away as he set his bow down and moved to grab one end of the desk as soon as it was clean.

“You get th’ other end,” he instructed easily. “We’ll move it over here, an’ then I can get it up onto it’s side.” He didn’t bother to ask if she thought she could handle it. He knew she was stronger than she looked. His own muscular arms tightened as he lifted the heavy desk and moved backwards, carrying it to the door with Beth’s help. He wasn’t oblivious to the way her gaze lingered a bit on his flexing biceps, but he did his best not to focus on it too much. The sound of the walkers pressing against the door from outside was a damn good motivator, and soon they had the desk in position horizontal in front of it.

“Watch out, now.” With a grunt, Daryl gripped the edges of his side of the desk and began to lift it up, leveraging his arms to get the thing vertical. His arms strained and he grunted at the unexpected weight, but he was managing perfectly fine on his own, until suddenly he felt her slip between him and the desk and use her hands to help him lift it those last few inches. When the desk fell into place on it’s side, he leaned in to grip it tight and stop it from tipping back over; the movement meant that Beth was practically pinned between the desk and his chest, which heaved as he tried to catch his breath. 

“I was doin’ fine, you know.” She turned slowly to face him with a little smile on her lips, making it all the more hard for him to scold her. Especially when she was so damn close to him, making him think about how if he leaned in a little more he would feel her pressed right against his body.

“I know,” she replied easily. “You’re _very_ strong.” Her slender fingers curled around his bicep and squeezed, and Daryl bit the inside of his cheek to keep from making any noise in response as she finished sweetly, “I just wanted to help.” 

(Was she flirting? Merle’s voice rose up from the back of his mind unbidden, and Daryl seized on all the control he had to silence his brother before he could ruin the moment completely.)

“Well.” He scuffed a foot on the ground and then shrugged at her as he ran his hand over his stubble. “Thanks.” Yeah, it wasn’t much, but it was the best he could manage at the moment. Better than anything Merle would’ve done, for sure. He let his gaze linger on her a few seconds longer, and then smile flicked just briefly over Daryl’s lips as he added, “Now c’mon, help me push it up against th’ door.” 

Together they moved the unwieldy desk, lining it up with the door frame and slotting it in place against the door to wedge it in tight. “There.” He stood back and brushed his hands over his pants before nodding in satisfaction. “Hopefully that’ll hold better than just the door,” he added as he leaned down to scoop up his weapon. By the time he had slung the crossbow back over his shoulder, Beth had pulled out her knife again and reached the door that led into the little office behind the opening in the wall. With her knife in hand, she rapped the handle on the door and waited, as they always did, to hear if anything responded from behind. 

When they heard nothing but the groans from out front, Daryl gave her a nod and lifted his bow as Beth slowly pushed the office door open. Her flashlight lifted to illuminate the small office. The advantage to it being so damn tiny was that at least he knew in one glance that nothing was hiding in here. The walls were covered in notices and instructional posters, half of them curled and falling down. He saw a work station in the center covered in stacks of mail, a big bin off to the side filled with letters and packages, and little wooden cubby holes on the wall that seemed to hold the local mail, sectioned off to be delivered at a later day. A later day that would never come, now.

As he lowered the crossbow he saw Beth move to the wall and run her fingers over the little open slots. Her fingers dipped in and came out holding a square envelope that she studied with interest as she turned it around to peer at the front. “I think it’s a card,” she said softly. Daryl studied the look on her face as she ran her fingers across the careful writing on the front. He could see melancholy there, a sadness that twinged something inside of him as she went on, “I wonder what it was for. A birthday, maybe, or an anniversary.” 

“Doesn’t matter now.” He spoke without thinking and regretted it as soon as he had. “I mean-”

“No, I guess you’re right.” She shrugged and slipped the envelope roughly back into the slot. “I mean, it probably doesn’t matter. Most of the people these letters are for, they’re probably part of that group outside, trying to get at us. And the stuff in these letters, it doesn’t matter anymore either, I guess. Birthdays and wishes, it’s all nothing now, right?"

“That ain’t true.” He hated seeing her like this. Before the hospital she had been so full of hope, so capable of seeing the beauty in things. He couldn’t blame her for having trouble seeing it now, after what she’d gone through. Maybe it just meant he needed to help her, sometimes. Remind her. (Funny to think that he was the one giving _her_ hope, now.) Course that was easier said than done, but he did his awkward best. “I mean, some of this stuff... You know, cards and letters from relatives an’ all... S’nice. They cared, you know? These people.” He gestured around him, and shrugged. “S’like a reminder of that, or somethin’, that there was a time when people cared, ‘bout their family an’ loved ones.” 

She studied him just long enough that Daryl began to wonder if that had come out wrong, if he’d fumbled over the words again, but then her lips curved into a smile that instantly eased his tension away. “I forgot,” she murmured as her eyes lingered on him.

Daryl scuffed his foot on the ground and frowned at her. “Forgot what?” 

“How sweet you can be, sometimes. Underneath all that toughness.”

His eyebrow raised as he gave her a doubtful look, but she just shook her head in reply, and he knew that look on her face now. It was Beth’s ‘I’ve decided this thing and that’s that, no arguments allow’ face, and there really weren’t no arguing with it, so he didn’t even bother.

“C’mon. There’s a door over there, must lead to the other office, or maybe some stairs... Looked like this place had a top floor, maybe.” The image in his mind was formed from a brief look over the building in the rush to avoid the walkers coming at them, but he was pretty sure his memory was right. He could just see it in his mind, the narrow little white building, with a window on top that looked like it belonged to a second floor. Sure enough when he opened the door after knocking, it revealed a narrow wooden staircase that hugged the wall and lead the way upstairs.

“I’ll lead,” he said firmly, taking the first step before looking back at her, “Don’t forget to-”

“-close the door behind me, I know. I’ve got your back, Daryl. Now go on!”

His chuckle rumbled deep in his chest as he turned around, shouldered his crossbow, and let the way silently up the stairs. It was his turn again to knock on the door, hesitating long enough to make sure Beth was behind him before he swung it slowly open and stepped through. At first he couldn’t see anything, but then Beth came up behind him and shown the light around his side and into into the small room.

It was an office, he had enough time to notice that much. A desk in the corner, a small couch against one side, a window on the wall, and... and a shuffling and groaning, off to the left. Daryl turned sharply, his free hand coming out to hold Beth behind him even as she turned to look in the same direction and the bright circle of light flashed across the wall to settle on an open closet door. A man stood there, or what had once been a man. He was a walker now, slow and sluggish but reaching for them with a low groaning gurgle. It took Daryl a second to figure out why the walker wasn’t getting any closer, wasn’t up in their faces trying to grab him, but then he saw it. A tie, wrapped around the walker’s throat and embedded into his bloody rotted flesh, right to where it stretched back behind him to knot around the bar at the top of the closet. 

He knew the moment Beth saw it, because the flashlight shook, and he couldn’t resist taking his gaze away from the walker just long enough to make sure she was okay. She was bent over slightly with her hand across her mouth to stifle a whimper, but when she saw him looking at her she shook her head at him and stood up straight. She was clearly determined to show him she was okay, even if she couldn’t seem to form any words to reassure him.

“Guess we found th’ post-master...” Daryl shook his head and pulled his knife from his sheath. In one swift movement he crossed the gap between them and slid the blade into the man’s head. One smooth thrust and the walker fell limp, straining on the tie where he was bound to the closet. “Shit.” He looked from the walker to the door and back again. “Should move him out into the staircase, if we’re gonna stay here a bit.” The last thing he wanted was for Beth to be stuck in here, staring at a man that had ended his life, just like she’d once tried. Daryl grunted as he crouched down and then lifted the walker’s weight onto his shoulder before rising to heft the body up and take the slack off the tie. 

“I can help-” Beth’s voice was small but determined behind him. He knew she wanted to help, just as he knew that the fact that this man had committed suicide was affecting her somehow. That was enough to have him shaking his head no.

“I’ve got it.” And he did. He only had to shift his hands a little to reach up and slice at the tie with his knife while he balanced the walker’s surprisingly heavy weight against his body. The snap of the tie increased the weight on his shoulders but Daryl adjusted quickly, and soon he was he gripping the dead walker’s arms and dragging him out into the hallway. “There,” he exhaled as he deposited him on the ground. Daryl settled him off to the side, hoping that if any of the walkers somehow got in here the smell of their little friend might confuse them, and then he quickly headed back to Beth. 

When he came back inside she was by the window, obviously trying to keep busy since she hadn’t been able to help him remove the body. “There’s a little roof outside this window. If worse comes to worst, we can climb out onto there... Maybe get across to the building next door. I think it might have been a pharmacy, I got a look before we ran in here.” She was silhouetted in the window, the sunlight outside streaming in around her. Daryl got stuck in his tracks for a moment just watching her, savoring the sight of her until his silence had her turning to look for him. To be honest, that smile on her lips only made her more radiant, even as it made the things he was feeling harder to ignore.

“C’mon,” he said just a bit roughly. “Let’s get this place as safe as we can make it, and then we can figure out what to do.” 

*** 

Twenty minutes later and they’d barricaded the door with the post master’s desk, though only after Beth had raided it for supplies. They all carried spare food with them in their bags just in case of situations like this, but it wasn’t much, and he’d felt relief when Beth came up from one of the drawers with a bottle of water and a couple bags of peanuts. “Thank the lord for people and their office munchies,” she’d said, surprising a laugh out of him.

Now he stood by the window, having dropped his bag on the little couch. He could just see the street below from their vantage point, and it was still teeming with walkers. “They ain’t gonna give up so easy. All riled up, can probably smell us all or somethin’.”

Beth came up behind him and he felt her small hand press briefly against his back, right between the angel wings on his vest. Her voice was soft but worried near his ear as she asked, “Do you think everyone made it okay?”

He frowned for a moment as he peered out the window. Instead of giving her quick reassurance as he’d been about to, he slipped unexpectedly away from the window and nudged her into his place instead. Coming up behind her with his chest just an inch or two from her back, he leaned in so that his lips were right by her ear and said lowly, “You tell me.” He gestured out the window. “Tell me what you see, Beth.” 

He didn’t think he was imagining the way her breathing hitched as he came up behind her, but it was hard to tell. She recovered quickly and her breathing smoothed right back out and she seemed fine, so maybe it was all in his head... Though he didn’t fail to notice a slightly rough quality to her voice when she finally began to speak, “I don’t see any bodies down there... Except a few of the walkers we got.”

Daryl nodded behind her in encouragement as she kept going. “That feed store across the street... The walkers are all crowded up in front of it like they are in front of ours. Someone probably ran in there.” He tilted his head and caught sight of her closing her eyes, maybe to visualize the pattern of the group when they’d gotten separated. “Rick? And Michonne?” 

“Good,” he murmured, his lips near his ear as he matched her moving gaze across the buildings on the other side of the street. “Now remember, an’ tell me where y’ saw your sister and Glenn, and Sasha?” 

She shivered against him again at the first low murmur by her ear, and this time he was sure he felt her lean slightly back against him as she turned her head to the right and pointed. “That way.” He nodded again and waited, patiently, until he felt the shift in her body that meant she’d spotted it. “There’s a walker down on that little alley between the two buildings, and blood on the side door of that little grocery store. You think they went in there?”

(He was proud of her. She was getting damn good at this. In fact, he thought she was something like a natural, same as he’d always been. Without the experience of course, but better at picking it up than others were. Considering the way she seemed to read every thought in his face, maybe that wasn’t so surprising. She was a perceptive girl.)

“Yeah,” he replied finally, his voice a little rough. “I reckon they did. Probably plannin’ to wait it out, just like us.” He looked up and frowned. “Sun’ll be settin’ in a few hours. May have to spend th’ night, if those walkers don’t clear out. More worried about the others. Don’t want them risking themselves, coming to figure out what happened.” They had a plan for what to do in situations like this, at least. The rest of the group would drive around and get ahead of whatever the dangerous spot was and then send scouts back to scope out the situation, so they could arrange a rescue, if it were possible. That wouldn’t happen until morning, though.

He was still pressed against her back, and when she turned to look over their shoulders he could feel her body moving against his. It made him remember the feeling of her cradled in his arms last night and curled tightly against him and lord, that was a good memory. Daryl looked down to see her face inches from his, a smile on her lips as she said to him, “Least there’s a couch in here. Probably get a more comfortable night’s sleep here than we did out on that porch last night.”

The grunt he gave in reply was the best he could manage at the moment, when his mind was suddenly filled with all the ways they might have to curl up to fit on that couch together. Cause he knew they would. Neither of them could sleep right without the other anymore. It was a thought that thrilled him and terrified him at the same time. How good it was, to have someone rely on him and need him the way she did, and how frightening it was for him to realize that he relied on her, too... And that it would be so easy for him to fuck it up and hurt her. 

“C’mon.” His voice was rough once more as he pulled back from her. “Let’s check out every inch of this place and then, well... Guess we’re gonna have to settle in and wait. Ain’t got much of a choice besides.” 

*** 

An hour had gone by, and the walkers were still massed outside. They milled around, but with nothing else drawing their attention, they didn’t seem to forget the prey they’d chased into the buildings. He was leaned up against the wall by the window, peering out and trying to keep focused. It was hard when she was right there, curled up on the couch with her chin on her knees. Sometimes her gaze strayed to the window, but other times he could feel the weight of her eyes on him.

He knew she was considering him, thinking about him or maybe something involving him. Maybe she was wondering why he was being so quiet, or maybe she was thinking about what had happened earlier, in the car. He didn’t know what to hope for. A part of him wanted her to be thinking about that moment in the car, just as much as he was anxious she might be. Because he knew Beth. If she was thinking about something, soon enough she’d ask him about it. She had never been the type to keep quiet long, at least with him. Not unless something was really wrong. 

Sure enough, when he risked a glance over at her, she seemed to take that as an invitation. “I saw Rick talking to you this morning...” She picked at her jeans, acting casual, but he could see the interest in her eyes.

“Mm.” 

“Was it about... Anything interesting?” He had an inkling she had changed that question halfway through, from ‘about me’ to something more vague. She was a smart girl, she’d have figured out Rick was asking about her. But she also wasn’t the vain sort, and probably didn’t want to come off like that.

Daryl just shrugged, but this time he caught the sound of a soft sigh from her, and felt a stir of guilt in his belly. Why was he doing this, being all quiet with her? She didn’t deserve it, no matter how conflicted she made him feel. It wasn’t like it was helping. She was the one who had helped him to start understanding that bottling stuff all up inside wasn’t good for shit, when it came to him. So after a moment he gave a sigh of his own, and gave in. 

“Was askin’ about you, about how you’re doin’. Mentioned that maybe he could ask the others t’ ease of ya, you know, with all the touchin’.” He saw her head jerk up, and he held out a hand to stop her. “Don’t get mad, alright? I didn’t say nothin’ else.”

“I know,” she said softly, surprising him. “You wouldn’t tell anyone anything I told you. If anyone understands when something is private it’s you. Sometimes I think you take it a little _too_ far, at least when it comes to your own thoughts, but in this case I guess I’m glad.”

He chuckled, and it must have loosened him a bit, at least enough that he spoke more easily. “Anyway, he said he would. An’ I told him to start lettin’ you go out more, you know. Do more’n just watch Judith.”

The smile she gave him was worth the words, both to Rick and to her now. “I thought he seemed different when he suggested I come, today.” She paused, and gave him another one of those bright smiles that tugged at little strings inside him. “Thanks.”

“S’nothing.” 

With a shake of her head, she asked, “That all he said?”

“I guess.” Another shrug, as his gaze strayed out the window, “He’s worried, you know how he gets.”

”About me?”

“You and me. And us.” He hadn’t meant to say that, and the moment he realized he had, his brow furrowed. He kept his gaze fixed on the window, but that didn’t stop her from asking what he knew she would.

“Us?”

“S’nothing.” But it wasn’t, and he knew that. “Just him talkin’ nonsense about us, you know. Partners an’ I dunno, emotions an’ shit. Just nonsense.” 

When her voice came, it was so small, and yet the sound of it hurt. “Oh.” It was nothing like when she’d said that before. Funny how that single sound, one syllable and two letters, could make him feel so much when it came from her lips. Right now he felt regret and guilt and pain at knowing he’d upset her like the idiot he was.

She spoke again from behind him, so soft and fragile sounding, “Do you really think it’s nonsense, the.... the stuff between the two of us?” 

Daryl shifted uncomfortably in place, his muscles bunching under his shirt. He didn’t want to look at her, couldn’t bear to see the expression on her face, the pain he knew he’d caused her saying that so casually. _Nonsense_. If anything was nonsense, it was his inability to make sense of what he was feeling, let alone cope with it. He felt like shit right now, but that was probably par for the course with him. It was hard enough to understand what he was feeling and admit it to himself, let alone talk about it. Roughly, he blurted out, “What, you think there _is_ stuff between us?” 

It came out harsher than he intended, and the guilt hit him like a sucker punch to the stomach. _Idiot, idiot, idiot_. Carol had told him he’d changed, that he was a man now, but maybe he hadn’t changed enough. Maybe he was still a kid somewhere inside, an asshole kid who didn’t know the right words, and fucked up and hurt pretty girls like Beth. Someone who wasn’t worthy of a girl as perfect and good as she was.

There was a plaintive quality to her voice that tore at him as she asked, “Aren’t there? Feelings, I mean... between us? Don’t you feel them?”

( _What the hell’s wrong with you?_ The memory flashed through his mind like the lash of a whip. _Do you feel anything?_ )

He turned to her at last, and his breath caught at the look on her face. She looked hurt in a way that tightened the lines of her face, and yet he could still see hope there, too. Fragile and unsure, hovering in those big blue eyes as she took a leap the way he could never manage to do. His gaze held hers for a long moment, and Daryl couldn’t help remembering another night he’d done much the same.

(Staring into her eyes in the flicker of candlelight that cast that perfect glow across her pale skin. _What changed your mind?_ That sweet voice reaching inside of him and pulling the answer up, up, up, from where it was deeply rooted down in his heart. _You, you, you_.)

He hadn’t been able to get it out then and he couldn’t now, either, but there was a shift in her expression and he knew she was reading him again, the way she always did. She shifted on the couch, pressing both feet to the ground as she rested her palms on her knees and looked up at him. Her voice was still as sweet as always, but heavy with honesty and warm with that hint of steel strength running through it. “I don’t know exactly what it is, but I do know I have feelings for you, Daryl. I know that I thought about you every day we were apart. I heard your voice encouraging me, always with me, even in the worst times. You never left my mind.”

Beth pushed off to the couch and rose to her feet, but she didn’t come any closer. She stood there watching him struggle to grasp the idea of Beth in that hospital with _his_ voice in her mind. All his life he’d had voices in his mind, but they weren’t never good. His mother, drunkenly slurring at him. His father, telling him in every possible way what a disappointing failure he was. And Merle had always been there, only growing in strength after his death. Merle had commentary on almost everything, and Daryl liked it less and less as the days wore on. As he spent more time with her, and the words in his mind seemed so _wrong_ in the light of her pureness.

It floored him to realize that he had been the voice in _her_ mind, and that everything he had told her had been good. Had helped her to get where she was today, here, with him. 

She was still talking, and he fixed his gaze on her face, drinking it in like he was dying of thirst and she was the purest, cleanest water he had ever drank. “I know that you never left my side once you found me, and I know I never wanted you to. I also know that I’ve never felt better than I do with you. Safe, but also strong, and _happy_.” She took another step towards him, and he felt like the string of his crossbow, drawn tight and taut, waiting, anticipating, ready for the loosening of the trigger. 

He couldn’t imagine that it would hurt, though, not when her beautiful blue eyes were fixed on him. “I know that in the car back then, after I sang… I wanted to kiss you. And I think it would have been good.” The smile that crossed her lips was radiant, and it shot that bolt right into his stomach, only instead of pain it loosed warmth and a fluttering shiver he knew he’d never felt before. 

Another step and she was just a few feet from him, looking right into his eyes. “So… I don’t know what all of that is, but I know I feel it. I hope you feel it too, but it’s okay if you don’t. And it’s okay if… if you don’t want to talk about it. I’d never make you talk about anything if you weren’t comfortable. But I think you should know, anyway. Cause you never know what’s gonna happen these days, and... I want you to know. Just in case.”

The second bolt was unexpected and it hit him hard, right in his chest. It pierced his heart, and it was his undoing, because that one hurt like a motherfucker. That one brought with it the pain of losing her, the thought that she might disappear again one day before he could find a way to understand what he was feeling, before he could find a way to let her _know_ what he was feeling, what he meant to her. He couldn’t bear that thought.

Daryl closed the gap between them in two swift steps. His hands came up to cup her face and lingered for one more moment before the one of them slid back into her hair on the opposite side from her bandage. It was all instinctive, because he was far from smooth about things like this. His awkwardness showed in every tense line of his body, but he had to do _something_. 

When he breathed in, it was all hitching and ragged, and when he spoke finally his voice almost broke, “Ain’t gonna lose you again. Never. Especially not without tellin’ you...” He shook his head because he couldn’t do it, he _couldn’t_ , no matter how bad he wanted to. And god, he wanted to. He wanted to understand what it was that she made him feel. He wanted to tell her why it scared him so much, wanted to tell her how unworthy he felt. And fuck, he wanted to find the words to tell her just how good he felt around her, right down to every last warmth sensation she made swell up in his once-shriveled heart. 

He just couldn’t.

He wanted to hate himself for it, but she didn’t give him the time to. “Shhh,” she whispered, her hand coming up to cup his cheek, her thumb brushing across his skin as if to brush away whatever painful unsure emotion it was she could see on his face. “It’s okay. I meant what I said, Daryl. You don’t have to tell me anything. It’s okay. I know.” 

Did she? God, he hoped so. He wanted her to know, but he wanted even more to be able to tell him in his own words. He just couldn’t, not yet. He thought that was it, only then he heard a voice in his mind, and it was like none of the ones before. It wasn't harsh or insulting or rough. It was everything that was good to him. It was _her’s_. It was Beth's voice whispering encouragement in his mind, telling him she believed in him, telling him he was strong. And for a moment at least, he believed her.

He leaned in inch by inch, holding her gaze the whole time, giving her the chance she needed to pull away and stop him. But she didn’t. She just leaned in to meet him, and after what seemed like forever and a second all at the same time, he felt his lips press softly to hers. It was everything he could have imagined, and a hundred thousand times better. Her mouth was so soft and warm, her lips so sweet against his. A thrill went through him and he instinctively curled his fingers tighter into her hair as he pressed his lips more firmly to hers.

That feeling was rising up inside of him again, thick in his throat, uncurling inside his heart and filling him with heat, like she was the sun and he was opening up beneath her light, soaking in those life-giving rays. He could feel her leaning into him, heard the soft pleased sound she was making against his lips, and Daryl had just enough time to wonder if he was doing the same thing to her, somehow...

...and then a cry cut through the silence of the office, muffled through the glass but loud enough to make them both pull apart. Beth gasped, and he allowed himself one dizzying moment to drink in the sight of her; eyes dark, cheeks flushed, lips just faintly swollen from his kiss. Lord, she was a _goddess_ , and he wanted to drop to his knees and beg for the right to worship her. 

But another cry from outside ripped that thought away from him, and soon they were both hurrying towards the window to see what the hell was going on. It didn’t take long to figure it out. Maggie and Glenn and Sasha must have gotten impatient, or decided to try and make a run to it and get across the street to them. It looked like they’d tried for a break in the milling lines of walkers, only to get caught in the middle. They were surrounded now, walkers on every side, the circle of space around them getting smaller and smaller.

“Beth, my bow-” He turned to look and she was already there, handing it to him. If he’d been less worried, he would have smiled at how she just knew instinctively what to do when she was with him. From moments like this to her words just a few moments ago, Beth really was like... Another half of him. A partner, just like Rick had said.

Now wasn’t the time to get lost in romantic thoughts like that, though. As he drew the bow, Beth reached down to pull up the window, trying to be as quiet as she could. It wasn’t like the walkers outside could get to them, but they didn’t want to make too much noise and draw attention either way. Daryl sighted down his crossbow, targeting a walker that was currently headed right towards Sasha. _Breathe in, exhale, and pull._ The bolt sliced cleanly through the air and right intro the walker’s head, sending it tumbling to the ground.

He bent over to draw the bow once more, his thick biceps straining as he drew it back. When he rose back up again, he saw that his bolt had at least gotten the attention of the three members of their group. Sasha tore her gaze away from them quickly to stab at another walker coming towards her; they all had guns, but seemed to know it was best not to make noise and draw more walkers. 

Or at least, Sasha and Glenn understood. Maggie turned and looked up and caught sight of Beth, and Daryl saw her mouth open, heard her begin to shout Beth’s name. Glenn came up behind her just in time, covering her mouth with his dirty hand and whispering fiercely into her ear, before he had to let her go to whirl around and stab at another walker. Maggie looked angry, but at least she didn’t shout again. He could feel Beth trembling beside him and realized how it must have been for her, watching their family fight for their lives and not be able to do anything about it. No matter how upset she might have been, Daryl knew Beth would always care about Maggie. He knew this was killing her, and he couldn’t let it. He might not be able to express himself, but he could do his best to give her whatever else she needed.

“Come on,” he breathed out, tugging her in front of him once more and handing her the bow. Maggie, Glenn, and Sasha were fighting their way back towards the grocer’s foot by foot, so close to safety, but there was a walker coming up behind them in the alley. None of them had noticed, and Beth and Daryl didn;t dare risk shouting and calling more walkers to them.

“C’mon, girl. You’ve got it. I know you do.” He whispered in her ear as she settled the crossbow carefully on her cast and sighted on the walker. “Breathe in.... exhale... and....” He felt her take the shot right on cue and he knew it would be good even before it slammed into the walker’s head. Maggie spun around, and for a second the wide-eyed look she had reminded him so much of Beth that he almost laughed, despite knowing it was far from the right time for that. 

The older Greene sister’s eyes fixed on Beth standing in the window, crossbow still steady in her hands with Daryl behind her. For just a moment he saw their eyes meet, saw surprise filter through Maggie’s eyes followed by a flash of gratitude and respect. It was only a second but it was there, and then Glenn was grabbing her and pulling her back inside as Sasha reached out to slam the door shut.

“Well,” Daryl said softly as Beth’s relief made her collapse slightly back against him. “After that, we’re definitely stuck here for th’ night.” The lightness of his words belied his worry for her. She was trembling against him and for once, she was just silent. Gently he took the crossbow from her and set it down by their feet. He reached both arms around her and carefully pulled the window back down without making a sound. Only once it was closed did he let his arms slide slowly around her so he could hold her like that, hands resting on her belly, her back to his chest, and her ponytail tickling his nose.

“S’alright,” he murmured, soft and reassuring, “I’ve got you.”

He might not have been able to tell her how he felt, or even understand it himself. He might not have known what to say about what had happened between them just a moment ago, let alone even mention it at all. He might not have any fucking idea what he was supposed to do about the myriad of feelings swirling inside of him right now.

But he could hold her. He could comfort her. 

He could at least do that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> GASP! Well at least it didn't end on a cliffhanger, right? Technically... although I did once again interrupt them at a crucial moment because I am a cruel, cruel woman. Sorry not sorry! :P Hope you all enjoyed it, and I also hope that you got a better sense of the mess that is Daryl when it comes to his feelings for Beth.
> 
> The next chapter will be from Beth's POV, and it will HOPEFULLY come tomorrow. Hopefully.
> 
>  
> 
> **ETA: If you're interested in something slightly different, please check out the (nsfw) Bethyl One-Shot I posted last night. It's a non-zombie AU where Beth is a musician and Daryl is a music blogger, and she gets him back for teasing her one night with a new naughty song. It's called[Just Pretend](http://archiveofourown.org/works/2753423). Thanks!**


	11. We Could Do Anything, Together

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alone for the night, it seems easier for Daryl to unburden himself and Beth is there as always to listen, to guide him through and help them come out stronger on the other side. Stronger, and together.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey look, it's a few hours earlier than the last couple nights! I may have gotten half of this done at work yesterday. Actually this chapter went on more, but the ending didn't feel right so I cut it back and edited a bit, and now we have this! I hope you all like it, though I have a feeling you'll enjoy the middle part more. 
> 
> **WARNINGS** : Mentions of childhood abuse, past deaths, etc.

Another night and Beth was unable to sleep, but for once it wasn’t harsh and disturbing memories and nightmares that kept her awake. Tonight she had far less traumatic things on her mind. That wasn’t to say that everything swirling through her mind was happy and good, but it was a far cry from the last few months; tonight, her thoughts were filled with Daryl. Every moment she had known him seemed to be on repeat in her mind, like little hazy, bright flashes: her first glimpses of him on the farm, helping her Daddy tend to him after he’d shot himself with his crossbow; little moments of him around the edges of the group as they’d fled the farm; watching him from a distance as the prison helped him grow and change, helped her see what a good man he really was.

She remembered the day he’d come to tell her of Zach’s death, and how she’d seen the pain in his eyes and thought of nothing but wanting to ease it away. 

The day her father died, the complete and utter pain that would have driven her to her knees if it hadn’t been for Daryl appearing at her side, anchoring her with his solid presence as they’d fled the destruction. 

Those weeks in the forest, both of them fighting their own demons and learning to be around one another. 

The club. Peach schnapps. Stabbing that walker and hearing him say: _You said you could take care of yourself. You did._

The moonshine house. Daryl breaking down first in angry shouts and then in shuddering sobs as she held him close. Burning it down together in an act of both defiance and rebirth. (It _had_ been a rebirth, for him but also for both of them. From the ashes of that fire they had risen again, stronger, better, closer to each other.)

The moments after that were all so bright in her memory, too. Endless perfect days of him teaching her to track and hunt. The brightest was that first time he’d let her hold his crossbow and she’d felt him behind her, his arms so strong as he showed her how to hold it and how it had suddenly been so hard to focus with the scent of old leather and sweat and cigarettes all around her. 

The look in his eyes when she’d hurt her ankle in that bear trap and he’d dropped to the ground faster than she thought she’d ever seen him move.

The feeling of his arms hooked over her thighs and her chest pressed to his back ( _it’s a serious piggyback_ ) as he lifted her up to carry her.

The slide of his fingers in her as they stood in front of that headstone and mourned a man ( _beloved father_ ) they’d both cared for.

His eyes holding hers as she spoke about the beauty of those dead people ( _don’t you think that’s beautiful?_ ) still being cared for in the midst of all that pain.

The feeling of his eyes on her ( _there ain’t no jukeboxe_ ) as she faced the piano and softly sang a song that had been swirling in her mind ( _and we’ll be good..._ ) for days.

Candlelight flickered in her mind and she let herself see him sitting there just looking at her ( _what changed your mind?_ ), his eyes so dark and deep and full of things she’d never expected to see ( _oh_ ) on the face of Daryl Dixon. 

They were the same things she’d seen in his eyes every day since, from waking up with him holding her hand in that hospital bed, to the night she’d woken up screaming, to the moment in the car when they’d nearly kissed, right up until today when she’d spilled out the words that had been bubbling up inside of her for weeks now (maybe even longer). Though a part of her wanted him to be able to talk to her, to speak out loud the confirmation she so desperately needed, she wondered sometimes if words could hold a candle to what she could see written across his face. 

Daryl Dixon was not a man of words. Daryl Dixon was a man of action, a man of dark and surprisingly emotional eyes, a man who could fix you with a lingering stare and somehow make you see all the complexities inside of him. At least, he was for Beth, cause she could see so much when he looked at her; her own emotions all mirrored in his eyes but mixed with so much worry and confusion and pain. She wasn’t oblivious to how broken Daryl had been, how broken he still was in many ways. Whatever he was feeling for her- and he _was_ feeling something, she knew that- it was hard for him. It was new, unfamiliar, maybe even frightening. 

It was for her, too, although she was lucky enough to have grown up surrounded by emotions both good and bad, and had a base on which to handle them. Beth had a feeling Daryl didn’t, and that only made it harder on him, and she couldn’t blame him for how he had acted earlier tonight. His lashing out at her wasn’t him being cruel in any way, he just didn’t know how to do anything else, sometimes. He didn’t know how to cope, but she understood that. She understood more, too. She knew that he might not have had the ability to cope, but he had something else. He had her. Like he had guided her out of the fog in the wake of her getting shot, she would help guide him through this, or at the very least she would try her best. Like they had guided each other in the weeks following the fall of the prison, they would work together and find a way through. 

Her resolve cemented in her mind, Beth relaxed back against Daryl’s warm chest and sighed. They were laying on the couch together in the darkened post master’s office, both of them awake as far as she could tell. After saving Maggie, Glenn, and Sasha from their failed attempt to escape, Beth had been overwhelmed with emotion. She had already been on edge, rubbed raw by the familiar-but-not-familiar post office and the feelings that had surged in the wake of finding what was left of that suicidal man, not to mention the rush and release of her feelings for Daryl… and that kiss. ( _That_ kiss, the one that lingered on her mind even as she tried not to fixate on it too much, because the more she thought about it the more she wanted more.) Beth had worried he would pull away from her again as he often seemed to do when things got too emotional, but he hadn’t.

Instead, after she’d relaxed a bit in his arms, he’d gotten her to drink some water and eat one of the packets of peanuts she’d found in the desk. He was almost like a gruff mother bear, pushing food on her like that. (The thought had made her giggle, and he’d looked amused, although when he’d asked why all she’d been able to get out was ‘mama bear Dixon!’. God, he’d grumbled, but she’d seen the amusement in his eyes and the relief he’d felt at seeing her laugh.) To repay the favor she’d convinced him to eat, too. Sometimes she had to; he had a tendency to eat a lot less than anyone else, just to make sure the people he was taking care of got the most of anything he had. 

Beth had felt the rise of that nervous awkwardness in the silence that had followed, but he’d surprised her yet again. She had been all prepared for him to get all gruff or unsure, maybe insist on her sleeping while he stood watch. Instead he’d eyed her for a long moment with that _look_ in his eyes. She knew that look. Half of it was the studying, observant way he had of looking at everyone, but it was mixed with a warmth and depth of emotion she only ever saw when he looked at her. He’d gotten on the couch instead, leaning against one arm and stretching out his legs down the length of it before looking up at her. “C’mon.” Such a simple little word, one he said to her so often and yet somehow it was enough to make her knees weak.

(A part of her thought that she would follow after him anywhere, even straight into darkness, if he just looked at her like that and said: _C’mon_.) 

With a faint little hitch in her breath, Beth had crossed the space between them and let him reach up and pull her into his lap. She’d curled against his chest on her side, cheek resting on his shoulders and legs stretching down to tangle slightly with his. His arms had wrapped around her, so thick and warm and muscular, and he’d briefly cupped the back of her head to hold her to his shoulder before breathing out in that low rough voice, “Get some rest. Y’ need it. I’ll keep watch.” 

She had tried, but her mind wouldn’t let her sleep, wouldn’t let her relax until she’d remembered every little thing they’d gone through to get them to tonight. (And that kiss.) He must have felt her finally relaxing back against him, because his arms tightened a little around her and then he murmured, “You finally figure out how t’ turn that brain off, Greene?” 

A smile curved up her lips against his chest where her cheek was currently pressed. “Maybe for a few hours, anyway.”

His chuckle was low and the way it rumbled through his chest meant that she could feel the vibrations through her own body as well. It was odd how natural it felt being held here like this, with him. It was a sort of naturalness that she never would have expected with Daryl, who seemed so opposed to physical contact in all other regards. 

But as his chuckle trailed off, he remarked softly, “Dunno how you managed it. Seems like mine won’t ever go quiet.” She felt his hesitancy, but perhaps something about her closeness and the darkness of the room around them made it easier for him to talk, because he kept going. “Just dunno how to get a handle on it, how t’ make sense of it all. Ain’t somethin’ I’ve ever been good at.” 

Beth nodded softly in understanding. Even she knew what it was like to be overwhelmed by thoughts and have a hard time working through them all, understanding them. She imagined it must have been so much worse for Daryl, someone who had no basis for sorting through emotions other than shoving them all deep down inside and ignoring them. The fact that he was trying (for _her_ ) made her feelings for him surge a little inside of her as she lay there in the warmth of his arms, brushing her fingers over his chest in soft random shapes. 

“Feelin’s ain’t somethin’ my family was ever big on, ‘cept for anger I guess.” His voice was gruff and quiet, but every word was crystal clear when they were this close. “Dad used to say weren’t no emotions a man should have, ‘cept anger and lust. Anythin’ else was for pussies. Merle thought so, too. He was raised on it just like me, only I guess he was better at it than I was. Dunno if Merle ever felt anythin’ that wasn’t anger or lust. Sometimes it was women, sometimes it was drugs, but it was still lust.” Her fingers drew light circles as she lay there, silent, just letting him talk as he needed to. It wasn’t the first time she’d done so; both of them drunk on moonshine as he’d opened up to her for the first time ever. This was different, though. Neither of them were drunk, and the moment felt far more intimate with the way they were wrapped up together and alone in the dark.

“Dad used to say I got it from my Ma, havin’ too many emotions, an’ that at least she had the decency to drink it all away. Till it killed her, anyway.” His hands tensed at her back, and Beth instinctively pressed closer with a reassuring hum that seemed to steel him to go on, “That’s how she died, y’know. Got so drunk one night she passed out with a lit cigarette in her hand. Burned the whole place down. I was out ridin’ my bike when I heard the sirens, came home an’ the house was all up in flames.” He was shuddering now, and he broke off long enough for Beth to start smoothing her hands up and down his chest as if she could anchor him, give him the strength he needed to go on. Somehow, it seemed to work, though the more he spoke the more broken he sounded.

“Was my fault, y’know. Shoulda been there, shoulda been home. Merle was in juvi an’ Dad was out at some dive bar like he was every night. I shoulda been there with her, but I’d just gotten this bike. First bike I’d ever had. Found it in some junk yard an’ Merle knicked it, a’fore he got brought in for somethin’ else. Was so damn excited to ride that thing that I didn’t even think. Just left her alone with th’ bottle, an’ she died. Dad said it was my fault, an’ I knew he was right. I shoulda been there. A good man would’ve been there.”

Beth had been trying to stay quiet for him, but that last bit was too much. Her heart was aching for him, for that scared little boy who had not only lost his mother but been blamed for it by his own father. It wasn’t _fair_. She couldn’t do anything to change that, but she could help him know. “You were just a boy,” she breathed out, tilting her head so she could rest her forehead against the side of his jaw as her hand slid up his chest. “You were just a boy, Daryl. It wasn’t your fault and he never should have told you that.” 

Daryl didn’t say anything, just shook his head. “When I cried, after she died, that was th’ first time he called me a pussy. Used to be he was never around, he’d just be off tryin’ to get work, or at the bar, and he’d leave us with Ma. After she died, it was just him and me. Merle was off at juvi half the time, before he just ran off an’ left me behind. Dad decided she’d raised me too weak, like her. Took it on himself to teach me how to be a man. To punish me, too, for not bein’ there for her.” 

He was shivering beneath her and Beth shifted to wrap both her arms around his shoulders. Her fingers curled into his hair, cupping the back of his head and gently stroking to bring him back to her. Slowly but surely his breathing evened out, and she felt his trembling ease, though it didn’t go away entirely. “He beat me,” Daryl said, in a voice so matter-of-fact that it shocked Beth even more than his actual words. She’d known that his father beat him, but it hurt more to hear him speak of it like that. “Beat me with his hands, with his belt. He loved that belt. Sometimes, when he was thinkin’ about her special, he liked to get a pack of the cigarettes Ma used to favor. He’d light ‘em and burn me with ‘em, and-”

It was too much, again. She cupped one side of his face with her free hand as the other curled tighter into his hair, and she pressed her lips to his cheek. It was the most she could do, though, because she knew he wanted no pity, and she would never give him pity. She didn’t pity him, not like that. She ached for him, she hurt for him, she wanted to cry for that poor little boy, he’d been but it wasn’t pity fueling any of that. Whatever it was, it was far deeper in her heart. 

Daryl seemed to take strength from what she did give her, though. His eyes pressed shut and he breathed in deep, and when he finally spoke again a little while later it was slow and measured and he’d shifted moved a little past those painful memories. “When I got away, it was just me and Merle. Dad had already done his damage, y’know? Couldn’t change nothin’, even if Merle had been the kinda man who could or would change what I’d become. Merle wasn’t bad like our Dad, at least. He wasn’t abusive. He was rough an’ he had his vices, but he never hit. He had his rules, though. About bein’ a man, bein’ strong, not bein’ a pussy. He was big on that.” His fingers curled into her shirt at her back. “Used to call me Darylina, whenever he thought I was showin’ any emotion that weren’t, you know… anger, or lust. Mostly I tended to focus on the first one. Was never so big on the second. Didn’t ever want to go after things, the way Merle did. Drugs, women, alcohol. Never much got the urge the way he did.” 

She felt him shrug, but then his body shifted and he looked down at her. His voice was softer all the sudden, and with his lips so close to his ear it was unexpectedly intimate as well. “Ain’t never felt things like I feel when I think ‘bout you, Beth.” Both his words and the fact that he’d said ‘Beth’ instead of ‘Greene’ or ‘girl’ only added to that softness, that feeling of intimacy that filled the moment. She was completely hushed, not daring even to breathe for fear she might ruin the moment. “Dunno what it is, or how I’m supposed to handle it, cause I never had to handle nothin’ like it before. All my life, whenever I felt something that weren’t allowed, I got punished. Learned t’ push it away, shove it all down. Don’t know any other way to deal with it.” 

He swallowed hard and she felt the movement of it as her fingers grazed down his neck to brush over the collar of his shirt, as he whispered into the stillness, “But I want to try.” 

Beth’s stomach fluttered away, swooping at his words as a hazy fuzz suffused her body. He had sent her on an emotional ride tonight but she had come through it, like a warrior riding bareback on a bucking horse, clinging to it with tight knees and fingers fisting in hair until it calmed beneath her. Now her heart raced like galloping hoof beats, but at least she was in control. At least she didn’t feel like she was going to go tumbling head-first off some precipice into the unknown. He was there, holding her, and she realized they were anchoring each other right now. They were keeping each other safe, grounding each other here on the earth so _neither_ of them went plunging over the edge.

Her lips pressed to his temple as she breathed out in agreement, “I want to try, too. We can try together, Daryl. I think… we could do anything, together.”

His reply was just a soft hum, but the tightening of his arms around her and the way his hands smoothed up her back spoke louder than any words. _Yes_. He would try. _They_ would try, together. Maybe together, they could figure this all out. 

Beth figured that if they could survive everything they’d both faced before and after the end of the world to come together in this moment, there wasn’t much they couldn’t handle, especially as a team.

***

They ended up falling asleep like that, curled together on the couch. Or Beth did, at the very least, though judging from the lack of exhaustion in Daryl’s eyes when she woke up in his arms, he had at least gotten a few hours of sleep. He smiled at her as she sat up a little, blinking against the sunlight streaming in through the window right onto her face. When his fingers grazed unexpectedly over her cheek to tuck her hair behind her ear, Beth felt another little thrill of warmth inside her.

“Mmm… morning, Daryl.”

“Morning, Greene.” His lips twisted up in a faint wry Dixon smile, and then his fingers brushed down over one of the scars across her cheek. “Getting’ better, these. Always gonna be there, though.”

Beth nodded softly as her fingers instinctively sought out one of her other scars, on her wrist.

“Guess we both’ve got scars.” He spoke softly as he caught sight of what she was doing, brushing her hand away to cover her wrist with his rough palm, coaxing a smile onto her lips again.

“Sounds like the sort of thing you shouldn’t be happy to have in common, but… in a way, I think it still matters. It means something”

His nod told her he agreed, but she was caught off guard when he shifted suddenly and reached down with his free hand. She thought he might be reaching for his crossbow but instead his hand slipped into his bag and rummaged around until he seemed to find what he was looking for. 

“Wanted to show you somethin’, after last night…” He paused for a moment, seeming to search her eyes, and Beth looked back at him with all the reassurance she could possibly give. It must have been enough because after a second he pulled out a heavy white book and set it on his chest where she could look down at it.

Treating Survivors of Childhood Abuse. Her fingers traced over the letters on the book and she nodded, but didn’t speak for the moment. She knew sometimes how much he needed her silence to give him space to get his own words out. “Found it in Atlanta, when Carol and I were lookin’ for y’. Thought about you, when I saw it. ‘bout that night at the shack, when I told you some things ‘bout my past, an’ you said somethin’ bout… how we have to stay who we are an’ not who we were. That I had to put it away, you know… what I was. What I used to be, what happen t’ me. Or it’d kill me.” He nodded down at the book. “Figured you were right ‘bout that. That maybe I could try. I was thinkin’, now…” 

He looked up into her eyes and she held his gaze gently, knowing how rare it was for him to look right at her when he was talking like this. He always looked at his lap, his hands, beyond her, anywhere but into her eyes, which made this all the more important in her mind. “Was thinkin’ maybe we could look through this together, sometime. An’ you could help me, you know. Cause you’re smart an’ all, and you might understand it more’n me. An’ maybe we could figure it out, y’know, together. If you wanted, that is. Ain’t gonna make you if you don’t want to.”

“Shhhhhh.” She reached up to cup one of his cheeks and smiled reassuringly at him. “Of course I want to, okay? And we will. Whenever you want to, alright? You just ask me and we can give this big ole’ book a look through. Maybe together we _can_ figure some of it out.” 

It was an echo of their conversation last night, another promise to work together, to be a team. Despite the adrenaline and rush of getting them here into this office, Beth was almost glad those walkers had shown up and trapped them in here. They’d needed this. 

Course it wouldn’t do much good if they ended up trapped in here forever. Beth’s gaze strayed to the window at the idea, and Daryl must’ve had the same thought because his own head followed as he said, “Guess we should get up, see if we’re gonna be stuck here another day.” 

Though both of them moved reluctantly, they eventually untangled themselves from each other and got to their feet. Beth took a moment to slip Daryl’s book back into his bag before following him over to the window. “Whaddya think?” He asked, letting her look down and take the lead again as he had yesterday.

She smiled a little to herself at the question; she almost never felt as clever and useful as she did when Daryl asked her to do things like this and trusted her to get it right. “Less walkers,” she said first, cause it was easily noticeable as she looked down at the street. Maybe something had made noise elsewhere overnight, or their memories weren’t so good, cause in the darkness they seemed to have dispersed somewhat and calmed down. There were still too many of them there, but they weren’t as riled up and pressed together as before.

Daryl gave an “mm” from behind her, putting another smile across her lips. It amused her how he could get so much across to her in one sound, how she knew that ‘mm’ was the same as ‘good job, Greene, what else?’. 

“No sign of movement from the buildings I figured out the others were in,” she went on as he came a little closer behind her and peered out over her shoulder. His hand rested on the window sill in front of her, which meant his arm was touching her waist thought not quite wrapped around it. The easy casual contact was another thing she liked, especially because of how easy it was. It was natural. Half the time she was pretty sure they weren’t thinking actively about touching each other, it just seemed to happen on it’s own. It was a sign of something, she knew that much. 

“Sun is coming up, too,” Beth added as she peered up the street in the direction they’d come from. “The group’ll be sending people in to scout for us, soon.” 

Daryl nodded his agreement. “We’re gonna need to find a way to distract the rest of them walkers. Get out without getting the others into trouble.”

“They go towards sound, right? Sound and light?” Beth turned her head to look up at him. “Can’t we... I dunno, figure out a way to make a distraction, maybe a loud noise down at the other end of the street, so we can get away that way?”

He was peering out the window in thought for a moment before he gave another slow nod to her. “Would work. But we probably shouldn’t risk going onto the road either way. The rest of ‘em could come out of those little alleys, or they could see us and just come back.”

When he got quiet, Beth knew he was thinking but also letting her think, too. She studied the window, studied the street, let her gaze come back closer to the little roof ledge that extended under the window... “Oh! What if we just _don’t_ go down to the street? We can find a way to distract them, maybe throw something down the other end of the street just in case, and then we climb out the window onto the ledge there, and climb up onto the roof next door? All these buildings looked like they were close together, right? And the same height? We could work our way over the roofs and by the time we got to a little further away, it might be safe enough to drop back down?”

For a moment he looked caught off guard by her suggestion, but then a rare smile crossed Daryl’s lips and his fingers came up to turn her head enough to look at him. “Have I mentioned I like the way you think, girl?” 

She grinned back, sliding her hand over his arm where it was braced beside her. “Not nearly enough. But if you keep it up, I promise not to get a big head over it.” 

“We’ll see about that,” he joked. “Now, c’mon.” He nudged her back out to the window. “We gotta figure out how to make that diversion _and_ how to let the others know the plan.”

***

They’d wait a good twenty minutes, hoping to spot the others in the window so they could signal them, but it didn’t pan out. They could only wait so long before the group ahead would send back scouts, and they couldn’t risk them walking right into the milling herd below. Luckily the plan could be adjusted. Daryl had opened the window and held onto Beth enough so she could peer out and get a better view. When she’d spotted a ladder on the side of the fire station down the street, the plan had been quickly revamped to suit; they’d get up onto the roofs and down the street, cross the road, and climb back up again. From there they’d work their way back down and into the buildings their friends were stuck inside, and get them out.

“Like superheroes,” Beth teased as she slung her bag onto her back and flashed him a grin.

“Ain’t never thought of myself as the super-hero type,” Daryl said with a smirk.

“Well you’re definitely not a villain. You’d be a good super-hero, though. A lot of them are really complex, you know? Not straight up pure and good. The best ones have some darkness int hem, too, I think.” She paused just a moment, and then admitted, “Shawn was really into comics for awhile. Marvel, mostly. He had stacks of them in his bedroom, back at the farm.” The thought of her brother still hit her with a twinge of sadness, but she pushed past it. “There was one he liked a lot that you might like. Hawkeye. He was an archer.” 

“He wear one of those dumbass capes?”

Beth chuckled. “No! He had this black and purple costume, and like... I think a mask? I dunno. I was never into it much.” 

“Least it wasn’t a cape,” Daryl said as he picked up his bow. “Damn fools would be getting caught on shit all the time. Bad guys grabbing it and choking you with it. Idiots.”

Something about the whole reply just made her laugh, and the bright sound filled the room for a few moments before she let it fade away. They had to focus after all... But it was good still, to be able to laugh. It helped ease their tension just a bit, before they set on a hard task.

“C’mon, now.” Daryl gestured to the window. “I’ll go out first and then help you. You wait for me to set off that distraction, and then follow me right to the next building, alright? You need help you just ask.”

“Same goes for you,” Beth said firmly, the weight of her hand on her hip a promise that she meant it. She wouldn’t leave him behind, that wasn’t how it worked. “Okay?”

He chuckled, but nodded. “Okay, boss.” 

“That’s right, I’m the boss, and don’t you forget it, Mr. Dixon.” She was grinning and it was hard to feel nervous, even as she watched him climb out the window. When she’d been out there earlier she’d spotted something down the street, a big stack of firewood slanted against the side of a building. Daryl had taken a look, and said he was pretty sure that if he hit one of the top ones just right it would create an avalanche of them spilling down the sides. That’d make enough noise to hopefully distract the walkers. It was a risk, and probably a waste of a bolt, but it was their only chance at the moment. 

Beth watched through the window as Daryl sighted with his bow. Her gaze lingered for a long moment on his muscled arms; there was just something about his biceps that was incredibly distracting to her, even in the most inconvenient times. She shook her head clear, and with perfect timing too, right as he took the shot. Time felt like it froze for just a minute as they both waited, and then she heard the clatter of chopped wood spilling across the sidewalk followed by the renewed groans of the walkers down below. _Perfect_.

Daryl was turning to her with his hand outstretched and she took it to climb out onto the little miniature roof. She had just enough time to notice that at least half of the walkers were heading towards the sound, which was all good as far as she was concerned, and then Daryl was guiding her over to the next roof. They had to keep moving, after all. Their distraction wouldn’t last them forever.

It was harder than it had looked from the window, but it wasn’t impossible. They got two roofs over, keeping down low and moving as quickly and quietly as possible, before hitting a spot with a bigger gap. Daryl jumped it first, flying across the gap almost like the superhero she’d jokingly named him, and then turning with his arms outstretched and a look in his eyes that told her to trust him.

And she did. Without exception. _Always._

So Beth took a few running steps and leaped right into his arms. One moment she was flying through the air, and the next she was biting back a laugh as he caught her against his chest and stumbled back a few steps before regaining his balance. Her hair had flown into his face and he blew it away with a low chuckle. “Good thing you don’t weight nothin’,” Daryl whispered lowly, flashing her a smirk that made her stomach flip as she hurried after him across the next roof. 

They made it two more before they were close to the fire station, and Beth was glad to see a fire escape on the side of the building they’d stopped at. She really hadn’t been looking forward to trying to climb down, or making their way through a building without knowing what it was or what it might contain. With their luck, they’d climb down into a building full of walkers. The alley below seemed like a much better shot. It was was narrow, ending in a wall at one end with a dumpster outside, and thankfully there didn’t seem to be any walkers down there waiting for them. Daryl headed down first with Beth following behind him, taking rung by rung and straining her ears as she went, anxious to make sure she didn’t miss the slightly warning sound. When she dropped the last foot and caught herself, steadying on her feet, she found Daryl peering out the end of the alley with his crossbow drawn and ready in his arms. 

“You stick right behind me, y’hear?” He glanced over his shoulder at her with an expression that brooked no argument, so Beth just nodded and brought up her knife to her chest in preparation. She was ready. She’d let him lead, but she’d be ready to have his back if needed. Daryl led the way carefully onto the road with Beth close behind him. Inwardly she marveled at how silently he managed to move, as if his feet weren’t even touching the ground. She was surprised to realize she was almost just as quiet; apparently his lessons had been paying off.

As they moved across the street as quickly as they dared, Beth’s gaze shifted back and forth. To her left she could see down the street to where most of the walkers had gathered, summoned by the firewood that spilled out over the sidewalk in front of a small hardware store. A few walkers dotted the paved road between them, most of them looking in the other direction. One or two spotted them, but they didn’t seem to agitated just yet. Beth glanced the other way, peering up towards the other end of town. A couple more walkers trailed in from the distance but she didn’t see anything else, not yet. Hopefully their group would hold off just a little longer, just long enough for them to find the others and get the hell out of dodge.

A walker came out from the door of the firehouse in front of them, but before she could even blink Daryl had lifted his bow and shot it cleanly and silently through the head. Just as he bent down to retrieve the bolt, a grunt from behind Beth clued her into the presence of a walker closer than she’d expected. He was dressed like a farmer in dusty jeans and an old flannel shirt. The sight of those closed poked at that painful spot inside, almost like the pain of worrying at a cavity, but she shoved it away into the back of her mind as she raised her knife. Keeping her and Daryl safe was far more important than lingering painful memories. Beth feinted to the left and just as the walker started to turn, she shifted quickly back to the right and leaned in to stab down, sliding the knife into his head as quickly and silently as she could manage. 

The walker dropped to the ground and Beth was quick to look around, hoping it hadn’t been loud enough to draw the others towards them. They’d gotten lucky, though. Only a few of the same walkers were slowly shuffling away in their direction, and none of them were close enough to be a threat just yet. As she turned back, Daryl’s fingers curled around her arm and pulled her attention towards him so she could see his raised eyebrow ( _you okay?_ ) and nod her reply ( _i’m fine_ ), and they were on their way again. They reached the side of the fire station without any more trouble, and Daryl sent her up the ladder first before following quickly behind her. Beth had to admit, it felt a hell of a lot safer on top of the roofs than down below. They _really_ needed to keep this roof travel in mind, the next time they came to a town they wanted to raid. 

With no big gaps to stop them, the pair of them quickly and quietly made their way across the roofs to the top of the grocers that they knew Maggie, Glenn, and Sasha were holed up in. It was Daryl who found the roof door and opened it slowly to reveal the dark staircase stretching down below them. It was risky, but all they could hope was that Glenn, Sasha, and Maggie wouldn’t have stayed the night in a building they hadn’t cleared out. After all, it was what any of them would make sure to do. That was up there on the top of the list of apocalypse rules, after all; always clear out the place you’re staying, so you don’t get bitten in your sleep. With that logic, Beth felt relatively safe following Daryl a few steps down into the darkness until they were deep enough inside the building to call out softly, “Maggie!” She kept her voice as low as she could, only increasing it gently with each try, “Maggie! Maggie, it’s us!” 

There was one moment of tension coiling in her belly when she heard a shuffle beneath her and the slow opening of the door. A flashlight shone through, flickering up to light both their faces as they shielded their eyes. From down below came a familiar hoarse voice, “Beth?” 

She was all flushed with adrenaline from their risky trip over here and fueled by Daryl’s nearness as she rested her hand on his back. Beth couldn’t resist smiling as she called down, “Welcome to your rescue mission! Now stop gawking, we don’t have all day. We’ve got our fearless leader to save before we get the heck out of here!”

For a moment, chuckles from both Maggie and Daryl filled the air (Beth could feel his back rumbling faintly under her hand) and then her sister called back into the store, “Glenn, Sasha! It’s Beth and Daryl, they’ve got a way out. Let’s go!”

Five strong now they headed back onto the roofs and Beth and Daryl led the way across the buildings towards the feed store. At one spot there was an unfortunately big gap, almost too big to jump. Thankfully Daryl found some planks stacked one roof over, and he managed to stretch a couple out together to give them something to walk across. It hadn’t been easy as pie, though. Walking across that plank and looking down to see the ground far below had been enough to make her stomach plummet even without the sight of the waiting walkers. For one second it was easy to imagine tumbling off the edge and being splayed out injured on the street at the mercy at the flesh eaters below. Thankfully she’d looked up to see Daryl waiting for her on the other side, and that was all the incentive she needed to get those last few feet.

When they got to the feed store, there was a little platform in front of the second floor window, like the one in their building across the street. Leaving Maggie, Sasha, and Glenn standing guard above to keep an eye on the walkers, Beth and Daryl jumped down to the ledge and made their way to the window. She’d expected to have to climb inside and search for the pair, and so finding Michonne just inside had nearly made her jump out of her skin before she caught herself to smile at the other woman.

Michonne just gave her a slow grin before she turned to call over her shoulder into the dimly lit room, “Hey Rick. Cavalry’s here.” 

They were seven strong again as they headed back over the roofs, getting as far to the end of the street as they could before they had to stop. All of them bemoaned the trap they’d nearly gotten caught in, although Glenn reassured them that it hadn’t been entirely for bust. “Found some cans while we were holed up in that grocery store. Couple boxes of stale chips and crackers, too, so that’s something.”

Michonne nodded, and her gaze drifted to study Beth and Daryl as she said, “You all came by just in time. We were about to take the risk and run for it.”

Rick, who was crouched at the edge of the last roof, peering back down the street to where most of the walkers were still gathered, glanced over at them and remarked, “That was a good plan you two had.”

“Daryl thought of the diversion-”  
“Beth was the one that figured out th’ roofs-” 

They both spoke at the same time, looked at each other, and to everyone’s surprise just burst into soft laughter. For a moment it seemed like neither of them was aware of anyone else around them, and Beth knew there was a faint flush on her cheeks by the time she caught herself and turned back to Rick to find him shaking his head. “I guess you two do make a good team. Not one I would’ve expected, but that doesn’t mean anything.” 

The looks they exchanged were far more meaningful then they noticed, but Beth and Daryl were so caught up in each other in that moment that they didn’t even see how the others watched them or darted glances at each other with raised eyebrows. 

“Come on,” Rick said, shaking his head. “Let’s go and meet up with our group before they came charging in here to save us.” 

As Rick and the others started to climb down to the ground below, Beth spared a moment to glance at Daryl with a little smile on her lips. “A team, huh?”

“Yeah.” Daryl studied her for a long moment. “I like th’ sound of that.” 

Her smile was radiant as she stepped to the edge and swung her leg over. “Me too.”

Halfway down the ladder she looked up at him and murmured, “Dixon and Greene. I think it sounds perfect.”

It did. In so many ways, even if some of them were ones they weren’t quite ready to acknowledge... yet, anyway.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I considered originally having these revelations be done from Daryl's perspective, but in the end I changed my mind. Part of that was because it just would have been too much, to not only hear what Daryl experienced but also his thoughts, his feelings, everything he was going through when it happened then and telling it now. I also thought it would work better if it was done through Beth's perspective because we would be in her place, almost. Listening to him unburden himself, feeling for him as she did. I hope you all think it worked as well as I do, and I hope you don't mind some of my headcanons about his childhood. It was rough, but that was canon, right? This chapter was really about him releasing some things the same way Beth did, previously, and that's very important. They need to get those things out because it'll only help them trust each other more, and further their connection so they can move ahead. 
> 
> It's probably random, but also I think my favorite part of this chapter is Daryl showing her the book he found in "Consumed". I just think that Beth was so clearly on his mind when he took that, and since the show did such a failtastic job of expressing that, I took over and did it myself. I hope you liked that as much as I did!
> 
> Chapter update tomorrow, hopefully. I will also be posting a series of one-shots for "12 Days of Bethyl" on tumblr, so keep an eye out for the first one tomorrow. They'll be quick, short little ficlets set between Still/Alone. 
> 
> Oh, and just a quick thanks to all of you regular readers, I adore you and I love all your comments. THANKS!!


	12. We Speak Each Other's Languages

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Daryl and Beth have each other's backs, no matter what. Even when people are being _really_ frustrating.

The seven of them had just gotten out of town when they spotted two figures down the road coming towards them, far in the distance. Daryl, his eyes better than all of theirs, was the first to figure out that it was Rosita and Abraham, and as soon as the pair of scouts were close enough they could see the relief on their faces. After a few jokes about stopping to take a little vacation for the night, the pair turned to lead them back to the group, who they said were up ahead a ways nice and safe.

At first Daryl had been walking side-by-side with Beth in silence. There was nothing wrong with silence, especially with Beth. It was comfortable, it was _easy_. Their arms would brush every once in awhile and when he’d glance over at her there’d be a faint smile on her lips that made one twitch at the corner of his mouth in return. He almost thought about saying something to her, but there were too many damn people around, watching and listening. As if on cue, Daryl saw Maggie drop back from where she’d been walking with Glenn to come up next to Beth. His brow furrowed a little; Beth didn’t need another fight with Maggie, if that’s what her sister was about to start. Siblings were so... Messy. He knew that better than anyone.

This time when he nudged his arm and she looked up at him, Daryl raised an eyebrow silently, making sure she was okay with this. If she wasn’t he’d stay, or find a way to make Maggie fuck off or something. But Beth gave him a slow nod ,and so with one little reassuring look, he dropped back to give the two sisters a little space. He could do that much. Privacy, though, wasn’t really manageable right now when the group was sticking close together to make it back to the others.

Not that they seemed to need it, at first. They walked in silence as he followed behind, keeping an eye on everything (and especially them) just in case. Beth didn’t seem to want to talk, at least not first, and though Maggie had been the one to drop back next to her, she was apparently unable to find the words for a few minutes. When she finally did speak, it seemed to catch Beth off guard and Daryl had to stop himself from reaching for her when she flinched just faintly. 

“You surprised me, back there, last night. When I looked up and saw you in the window with his crossbow.” 

“Yeah?” Beth’s little shrug is so familiar to Daryl, and it took him a moment to realize she’d mimicked him almost exactly. Either he was rubbing off on her unintentionally, or she was just as observant as he’d thought, and it was all intentional, too. Hard to tell, especially when he was trying his hardest to pay attention but also not _look_ like he was listening.

(He wasn’t the only one, though. Glenn kept glancing back and man, the dude was horrible at being casual, let alone sneaky. He was gonna have to work with him on that sometime, just in case they needed to be more secretive in the future.)

“Yeah.” Maggie hesitated, but though she spoke softly Daryl could still hear her go on, “I mean, I know you said he’d started teaching you, but I guess it’s one thing to hear it and another to see it.”

“Mm.” Beth wasn’t giving Maggie much, and Daryl knew that was a sign of how hurt she was. It was funny how he could be so confused about his own feelings and what they meant, but he could read them easy on others. Especially Beth, and it wasn’t just because she was so expressive usually, or had been once. He’d gotten to know her, first in their original time together and then again over the last couple weeks. He understood her. It occurred to him that he probably knew her better than her own sister these days, and that was an unexpected realization. 

Looking at the two of them, studying them, it wasn’t too hard to understand how Beth felt. She loved her sister, she did, and the concern she’d shown for saving her last night had only proved that more. However, it couldn’t have taken away the sting of knowing that Maggie had given up on her, had assumed she was dead time and time again. That was the sort of thing that was bound to linger. Daryl knew that, too. His own home life had been complete shit, and the bond between him and Merle had been nothing so good and pure as the one between Maggie and Beth, but he remembered how he’d felt when Merle had run off and left him with his Dad. He definitely remembered how he’d felt that day in the woods when Merle had seen his scars and tried to deny knowing that their father would beat Daryl like he’d beaten Merle. It was a betrayal, just like it had been when Maggie had failed to believe in her sister. Betrayal from blood was some of the hardest to bear. 

(And it was another unexpected thing that he and Beth shared.)

“You did good, though.” Maggie’s comment broke the silence and pulled Daryl’s gaze back to the sisters again. “Beth... Look, I’m... I’m sorry. I know that probably isn’t enough. I know this rift between us isn’t something we can fix that easily, but... But I do wanna try. Can we at least agree on that? To try?” 

Silence stretched between them for a long time, until Daryl saw Beth turn over her shoulder a little to look at him. She wasn’t seeking his input, not really, just reassurance. He met her gaze and held it, hoping that what was in his eyes was what she needed. He was there, anyway. He’d always be there. He hoped that was what she needed to see.

Perhaps it was, because after a second she turned back to her sister and said, “Okay. I’m willing to try, Maggie. I don’t promise it’ll be easy, though. I’m still upset, and I need you to accept that I’m gonna need time to come to terms with that.” He nodded from behind them; he was proud of her. The Beth he knew never gave up on people. She gave them so many chances, and there had been a time when he would have seen that as a weakness. Now, though, he was beginning to think maybe it was a strength. Her willingness to keep trying, to never give up, was one of the things that would keep their family together. 

“I know.” Maggie started to reach for Beth and then seemed to think better of it. _Fucking finally_. He’d been wondering if he was gonna have to talk to everyone himself, the way they kept reaching for her and ignoring her obvious distress. Maybe they were finally catching on. Maggie’s arms fell to her sides, but her voice was genuine and warm as she said, “I’m glad you’re okay though, Beth. I really, really am.” 

Sensing the end of the tension, Daryl came up beside her once more, drawing her attention and putting an easy smile across her lips as he looked down at her and murmured, “Me too.” 

Just like that all her focus was on him, and they were both oblivious to the way Maggie was studying the two of them. All he could see was Beth with her warm blue eyes and that bright sunny smile as she brushed her arm against his and teased, “Yeah, cause I was right. You missed me somethin’ fierce when I was gone, Daryl Dixon.” 

“Person’d have to be an idiot not to miss you, Greene.” 

Most times he was incredibly observant, but right now with her smiling the sun at him, he was completely oblivious to anything else, especially things like the expression on Maggie’s face as she fell back behind them. Or the way eyes were riveted to them as Beth, full of happiness that lit her up inside and out, bumped her hip back against Daryl’s with a laugh. “Damn straight.” 

There was just something about her that made him forget sometimes that the rest of the world existed. When she smiled at him like that, really, nothing else mattered.

*** 

When they got back to the others, Judith had been squalling extra loud. Judging by the look of things, no one could get her to calm down. Beth hadn’t hesitated, and from the look he’d caught of her eyes she was thinking about all those walkers close by that might be summoned by a crying baby like that. As he watched Beth scoop Judith into her arms and start to bounce her and coo to her, Daryl wiped a hand over his brow and dropped to a seat against a tree. They weren’t gonna stay here long, but everyone who’d been trapped overnight had agreed they needed a few moments before heading off again. 

He probably shoulda gone to talk to Rick or something, but the truth was he kinda just liked sitting here watching her with the lil’ asskicker. Everyone took care of the kid of course, they always had, and Tyreese had gotten real good with her. But there was just something about Beth that always managed to calm Judith down faster. He wondered if she had some kind of natural talent with kids, or if it was just those big blue eyes, the sweet face, the pretty blonde hair... Hell, it was pretty mesmerizing for him, he could see it working on the baby.

Daryl was so focused on watching her (and trying to decide if he should get up and join her) that he didn’t see Carol coming until she was a step or so away. When she sat down beside him, he gave her a little nod of acknowledgment, though he wasn’t sure how he felt about the interruption.

“She’s always been so good with that baby,” Carol remarked quietly.

“Mm.” He scratched at his chin. “S’good at lots of things.”

“I know.” He felt the weight of her gaze on him, but didn’t turn to look yet, even as she went on, “We all know she’s good at more than just taking care of Judith, Daryl.” 

Daryl glanced over at her for just a moment and then looked back to Beth. “Do ya?” Cause he still wasn’t sure, especially considering how constantly surprised everyone looked whenever Beth did something to show how strong she was. 

At first Carol didn’t answer. From the corner of his eye, he saw her turn to watch Beth. Judith was finally quieting a bit, thanks to Beth’s rocking and cooing. As the baby started to settle, Beth glanced up for a second and her eyes met Daryl’s. A smile curved up her lips that was so warm and beautiful that Daryl felt a returning one tug briefly at his lips before her gaze dropped away.

“Y’know,” Carol spoke into the silence. “At first I thought you didn’t want to let her out of your sight because you’d fought so hard to get her back. And I thought, the way you tried so hard to find her was the same the way you’d fight to get any of us. Like Sophia.” Her voice softened briefly on the word, but she pushed past it. He’d noticed that she found it easier these days to talk about her daughter. He felt the same way, though he still always felt that hurt inside thinking about the little girl he hadn’t been able to find.

He was gonna say something, but then Carol kept going, “But it’s not the same, is it?” 

Daryl blinked at her and finally turned to peer at the woman next to him. Sometimes, Carol could read him too. Not as well as Beth could, but Carol could find the right button sometimes and get there. It’d made him nervous, in the past. It made him a little nervous now, but he wasn’t sure why. After a second he just shrugged in reply. “Dunno what y’ mean.” 

“With you and Beth, you trying to get her back, it wasn’t just because she was part of the group. Something happened between the two of you, when you were on your own.” 

(He knew, logically, that she meant back after the prison when they’d escaped together. But the first thing that popped into his mind was the two of them alone last night, his hands cupping her face and his lips pressed to his. It had been so unexpected, so out of the norm for him, and yet so perfect at the same time. It was _something_ , he knew that. Daryl had never kissed anyone like that, before. He’d been kissed a few times, usually by whatever girls Merle had grabbed to hang out with them for the night. But he’d never kissed someone the way he’d kissed Beth, and he’d definitely never liked it so much.)

Daryl’s brow furrowed and his shoulder lifted, but after a moment he found himself saying gruffly, “Beth is... good. She’s a good person. That’s important.”

He wasn’t sure if that was the answer Carol wanted, but it was the answer he had, anyway. And it was true, even if it only scratched the surface of it. Beth _was_ good. She was the greatest good he knew. She was the embodiment of all that was good to him in the world; of hope and the chance for change, and the meaning of beauty. She was a lot of other things, too, things he couldn’t put into words yet even if he wanted to. (Things he’d felt last night, after kissing her and later, when she’d curled up in his arms.) Things he knew she could see in his eyes when he looked at her long enough. 

It occurred to him to wonder if Carol could see some of it too. She was peering over at him right now, studying his face as he turned to frown at her. “What?”

“Nothing.” She raised an eyebrow. “I was just thinking about something.”

“Yeah?” He wished she’d get to it, cause she was making him a little nervous. If it had been anyone else, he might have just walked away, but he and Carol were close. She was like a sister to him, and they’d been through a lot together. That day at the hospital, he’d been fighting to get to her just as much as Beth. The thought had some of the annoyance easing from his face as he looked a bit more patiently over at her.

For her part, Carol seemed to actively be trying to find the right way to say what was on her mind. He appreciated that, at least. She was quiet for another moment, studying him, and then shifted her gaze to Beth as she finally said, “Back in Atlanta, when we were trying to find her. You said a lot about, you know, starting over. About how we weren’t ashes, and how we could change, I guess. It was like you had... hope. It was the way I said; you were like a kid before, and now you’re so much different. I couldn’t figure out why, you know? I looked at you and I saw the changes, and I didn’t understand why, and you never said, never explained, so I could never figure it out.” She was quiet a few moments, her gaze fixed on Beth standing there near one of the cars, smiling sweetly down at Judith in her arms. Carol nodded in her direction, and then finished, “Not until we got her back. Then I realized.” 

Daryl shifted in his seat and ran his hand through his hair before giving a low noise; neither confirmation, nor denial. Really more a ‘hm’ than anything else. But he did chance a glance over at Carol, his eyes tracing the lines of her face, seeing how she had changed as well. She’d hardened, become stronger and tougher, but in a different way than Beth. In a way that scared him, a little. It had scared him in Atlanta, some of the things she’d said, how hopeless she’d sounded. It had been like he was moving ahead, but she was moving back, becoming more like he’d once been. There was no way he’d ever want that for his friend, his sister. 

Carol turned slowly to look at him, and she seemed to be trying to be careful not to pin him with her gaze, the way she knew he didn’t like. “I’m not wrong, am I? It was her, or the time you spent with her. That’s what helped you change, or started it?”

He reached down between his legs, fiddling nervously with his bag where it rested there. It was hard enough talking about things with Beth, let alone anyone else. But he’d told Beth he would try, and maybe trying meant things like this, too, so after a few moments of quiet he said roughly, “I guess. She’s just... she's Beth, y’know? She’s always hopeful, even when no one else is. She believes in people. In havin’ chances and bein’ able to change. She’s _Beth_.” He didn’t know how else to say it because that was what she was in his mind. _Beth_. Unique, special, important, shining hopeful _Beth_. 

“You care a lot about her.” Carol’s words were so soft and yet they still tugged at him, teased at certain feelings inside that he was still struggling to understand and put into words. (Her words made him think of how he’d felt when he’d felt Beth’s breath on his cheek, when he’d seen her open her eyes again, when he’d held her in his arms after her nightmare, when she’d comforted him after his own. It made him remember kissing her again, and the comfort that had followed and allowed him to unburden himself to her. _You care a lot about her._ It echoed, and echoed, and echoed.)

He was back to shrugging and grunting in reply, because he didn’t know what else to say besides, “She’s important.” For him, that summed it up as best he could. At least out loud, to someone who wasn’t Beth.

Carol seemed to understand, if not his words than how he was about things like that. After a moment she just nodded, and reached out to squeeze his knee. “Just be careful,” she murmured, rising to her feet slowly but looking down at him. “It’s even easier to get hurt, these days. Or to hurt someone. That’s one of the things I’ve learned. How easy it is to get hurt.”

To his surprise, Daryl frowned up at her. “That ain’t what matters. Can’t all be about just... Always bein’ on the move, always trying to avoid gettin’ hurt. Otherwise, what’s the point? Why are we even tryin’ so hard? What are we running _to_?”

He’d caught her by surprise, he knew that. Carol’s eyes actually widened as she looked down at him, and her eyebrow arched before a smile flashed across her lips. “You really _have_ grown up, Daryl. It’s good. It really is. Don’t let it scare you too much, okay?”

This time he snorted. “Ain’t scared of nothin’.” He knew that wasn’t true, not about everything. There were a lot of things he was scared of that he’d never admit out loud, and losing or hurting Beth was right at the top of his list. But when he’d said it just then, he’d meant it. Whatever was changing in him right now, he might not have understood it, but he wasn’t scared of it. Not with Beth there to help him, anyway.

*** 

Once Beth had gotten Judith calmed down, they’d ended up back on the road again. Since the baby was being fussy, Daryl and Beth didn’t get the truck to themselves this time; but to be honest, he didn’t mind sharing with the lil’ asskicker. Hell, it was kinda nice getting to look over at Beth and see her cuddling the baby, playing with her, singing soft little songs into her ear. It was the first time he’d heard her sing to anyone but him since they’d found her again, and he knew that was good.

Driving was a toss up, these days. In some ways it was easier, since there was no traffic on the road and no cops or speed limits to worry about, but in other ways it was harder. It was semi-frequent to have to come to a near-complete stop thanks to stalled cars, road blocks, accidents or pile-ups, especially when they were near any towns or cities. Not to mention they had to get careful any time they were near were people used to live, cause there were bound to be walkers. On top of that, they also had to worry about a lack of gas, which was in short supply these days.

So sure, a drive up from Atlanta into Virginia might’ve taken nine to ten hours in the past, but they were planning on the journey being several days, and that was _if_ they managed to find gas, and _if_ they didn’t get completely blocked off by another dangerous pile-up of cars on the highway. (That plagued Daryl’s mind a lot, cause he couldn’t fail to remember the last time that had happened, and losing that little girl. Even if, in the end, it’d been what had brought them to the Greene farm, it wasn’t something he wanted to go through again.) 

The truth was, he was worried about the route they were planning to take, following the highways on the map up towards Virginia. It had been brewing in his mind all day, and for once it was actually a relief to have someone he felt comfortable talking to. Realizing that had actually almost surprised him, to be honest. He was sitting there driving, thinking on what was bothering him, and then he’d looked over at Beth and realized he could just _tell_ her. He could tell her, and she’d listen, and she’d make suggestions, and either she’d ease his mind or give him her support. 

It was new for him, though it probably would’ve seemed obvious to anyone else. Hell, it had taken him a long time to get comfortable making suggestions to Rick (unless he thought the man was really being stupid) and even then it was more a suggestion than communication. This was different. This was better. 

“Been thinkin’,” he started, glancing over at her as she gently bounced Judith on her lap. “’Bout the route Rick has planned.” 

“Yeah?” Beth turned to look at him with those big eyes, completely welcoming and open and just coaxing the words right out of him. 

“Seems dangerous t’ me, is all. Highways are quick now, mostly no one on ‘em but us, I know. But it ain’t that simple. We’ve been lucky so far, only hitting minor pile-ups, things we can get around. Y’saw that highway back after we left the farm-” He broke off, worried he was bringing up a sore subject, but Beth just gave him a soft smile of encouragement and he knew it was okay. “That weren’t even by a city or nothin’. This route he has us goin’, it’s gonna go by cities. Maybe even through ‘em. Don’t seem safe to me.” 

Next to him, Beth gave a slow nod and added, “Road blocks would be an issues just for starters, like in Atlanta, on the side going out of the city. And any time we get near a town, or worse a city, we run the risk of walkers collected there. Especially the cities.”

He felt a sense of pleasure at how easily she was keeping up with him, even as he nodded in agreement and went on, “People, too.” He flicked a glance at her, and frowned. “Cities, highways... People seek ‘em out. Stay in ‘em if they’re dumb, or if they don’t just care, like in Atlanta.” Another risky subject, but all Beth did was reach out briefly to squeeze his knee, acknowledging that both of them did not want a repeat of Atlanta, the hospital, those cops.

“I just think it’s a risk,” Daryl said after a moment, turning his attention back to the roads. “Every town an’ city we pass through, we’re riskin’ getting stuck, we’re riskin’ runnin’ into walkers, we’re riskin’ finding people that ain’t gonna wanna make friends.” He looked at Beth, his gaze drifting down to Judith for a moment before firmly meeting Beth’s eyes as he said lowly, “I don’t wanna take no more risks.” 

Beth held his gaze until he had to look back at the road and when he did, he heard her soft voice say, “I don’t either.” If that wasn’t enough to make that warm sensation rise back up inside of him, what she said next definitely was, “I think you should tell Rick. He’ll listen to you. He trusts your opinion. Besides-” He turned to her and caught her smile as she added softly and sweetly, “ _I’ve_ got your back.”

*** 

So they tried. After they’d gotten a little deeper into Northern Georgia, they found a side-road and pulled off to take a break. It was needed, considering they’d spent a good half their time trying to get through another pile-up back in the middle of the road, one involving about half a dozen cars all filled with lurkers that had turned, trapped inside. 

The cars formed a circle in a little field off the road, and Daryl watched as Beth climbed out to bring Judith to her Dad. This time he trailed behind her, scrubbing his hand nervously over his chin. It still made him feel uncomfortable, speaking up to Rick. Less and less each time, especially as he’d come to realize the man trusted his opinion, but there was always a different look in Rick’s eyes when someone questioned his decisions.

“Hey.” Daryl nodded at Rick, and waited until the man had looked up from the girl in his arms to give a nod back. “Wanted to talk t’ you, ‘bout somethin’.” 

Rick’s gaze was steady on him for a moment before he nodded again. “This somethin’ you need to be private?” 

With a shake of his head, Daryl replied, “Nah.” Course, it was easier to say he needed a talk, than to actually _have_ the talk. His gaze strayed briefly to his side, and there she was. Beth stood calmly next to him and the look in her eyes was all reassurance and _trust_. She was there, letting him know she believed in him and supported him, and it was exactly what he needed. Even just looking at her like that he felt his shoulders straighten a bit, and he drew in a deep breath as he began, “Ain’t so sure about the plan we’ve got. Goin’ to Virginia to find that place Noah mentioned, I’m alright with that. It’s the route we planned on. I don’t think it’s a good idea.” With Beth beside him, he managed to lay out everything he was worried about, from the blocked cars like the ones they’d just struggled to get through, to the walkers in all the formerly populated places, to the risk of running into more people like those from the hospital, or even the Governor.

As he talked, he realized people were gathering around them a bit to listen it. It made sense, this affected everyone after all. Didn’t stop him from feeling nervous all the sudden, though. Never made him feel comfortable to have so many people listening to him like that. He knew Beth must have been uncomfortable with so many people so close, but her focus seemed all on him right now. He felt Beth come up closer beside him, felt her shoulder brush against his arm, and her voice cut into the pause, “I think Daryl has a good point.” It was the same sweet voice as always, but there was a strength in it now that he’d heard from her before; a glimpse of that core of steel within her that kept her so strong in whatever she believed. “We use a lot more gas on the highways, especially when we have to slow down so much to get around the cars. And every time we slow down, that’s a risk to, with the lurkers in the cars or the walkers that might hear us and come out while we can’t get away fast. That’s not even taking into account the towns and cities. We need them for supplies, but I think we all got reminded last night just how risky they can be, too.”

Beth reached out to run her fingers over Judith’s hair as she added softly, “We have to be safe, you know? Gettin’ somewhere safe is the long term goal, but it won’t mean nothin’ if we don’t _stay_ safe and we never make it there.” She looked around at the group in a slow circle, her expression both warm and unflinching at the same time as she added, “ _All_ of us.”

At first, Rick just gave a slow nod. He jiggled Judith lightly in his arms, coaxing a smile from the baby that he matched with a brief one of his own. Only then did his gaze shift to Daryl as he asked, “What do you suggest we do instead?” 

Thankfully he’d thought about that, too, on the drive. Woulda been dumb not to, and he wasn’t dumb, no matter what some people thought. “We go a little North, first. Veer up into the mountains and the woods. The drive is longer, but there’ll be less cars, to start. Not as much risk of pile-ups. No towns or cities full of walkers to get through or around. Plenty of hunting cabins, though, houses spread out. Most of ‘em prob’ly won’t have been raided near as much. Safe places to stop for th’ night, places to get supplies. An’ I can hunt, too. Lots of game up that way.” 

That was it, he’d said all he had to say, really. He had done his best to look Rick in the eye as he did it, but after he was done his stare dropped to the ground. He was bracing for the argument, or maybe for them to decide it was dumb or somethin’. It was hard not to expect it, considering that was what had happened his whole life.

Beth curled her fingers around his arm and squeezed gently, perhaps seeing the worry written on his face, and added, “I think it’s a good idea, Rick. Some of us are still injured, if we go that way maybe it’ll be easier, give people time to rest and heal. Daryl can’t hunt as much if we’re taking the main roads, and you know canned food’s got nothing on fresh meat and whatever else we can scavenge up. And Daryl is right, about it being safer. Less walkers, less people, less risk of cars blocking the way...” 

“Either way has it’s risks, though.” Rick looked over at both of them, considering. “We go your way, we’ve got less chance to get gas. Might lose the cars, might get lost.”

“We ain’t gonna get lost,” Daryl said, a little more shortly than he’d meant to. “I ain’t never got lost before, okay?”

Rick held up his hand. “Okay. I know. I’m just saying, we have to think this through. We have to decide what it safest, and fastest. If we go the highways, there’s a good chance we could hit long stretches with no cars and be there in just a few days. Less, even. Those cities and towns are risks, but they’re also places to get supplies, to siphon off gas, too.”

From behind them all, Michonne added simply, “Still walkers in the woods, too. Harder to see.” 

“But less of them,” Daryl replied, feeling his fingers curl briefly into a fist at his side, cause it frustrated him the way they were arguing against this. Even if some of their points were valid, it was annoying. He felt Beth’s fingers brush lightly down his arm and curl closer to his wrist, and he made himself go on, “Less walkers up in the mountains, you know that. Ain’t as good at climbin’ as we are. An’ there’re always less, where there were less people to start.” 

Michonne nodded, but added, “We’ve seen herds in the woods too, though.”

This time it was Beth who added, “Yeah, but we’ve also seen them in cities. _Big_ herds, like the ones back in Atlanta. Herd are everywhere. At least up in the mountains and in the woods, there’s less of a chance, and it’s easier to get away. Less likely we’ll get cornered, or trapped.” 

Daryl felt a surge of gratefulness at her support of him, of having her by his side. It was a new sensation, but one he kinda thought he could get used to. 

There was shifting in the group beyond them, as Noah came around to stand near Beth and added in, “They have a point. On the way here with my Dad to find my Uncle, we ran into a lot of trouble near the cities. Learned to stay away from them and stick to woods or at least the smaller roads.” 

But Rick was shaking his head. “I still think our best bet is going the way we’d planned. If this place is safe, then we need to get there as quick as we can. We can’t get sidetracked. We just gotta keep moving ahead. This way is faster, more direct, and it gives us plenty of chances to find supplies along the way.” A few people behind him nodded; Daryl noted Glenn and Maggie and Father Gabriel among them. 

After a glanced around Rick sighed, and looked up at him. “But this is a democracy, I know. So let’s put it to a vote, okay? Hands up, if you wanna stick to the plan, hands down if you wanna switch to Daryl’s idea.” 

***

In the end, about 65% of the group chose to stick to the plan. Daryl didn’t care that he’d had support beyond just Beth (or that it had included Noah, Carol, Hank, Ivy and, unexpectedly, Rosita), he was still mad. Muttering under his breath about risks and stupidity, he’d turned away from the group with a glare and stalked off towards the edge of the woods, not seeing Beth hold out her hand behind him to stop Rick from going after him.

He didn’t go far, of course. Just to the edge where he could lean against a tree, cross his arms, and glare at all of them. Well, almost all of them. Not Beth, of course. She was the bright spot in that group of idiots, but seeing her there among them all just made him more angry, cause their stupid decisions were a risk to _her_. Why couldn’t they see the risks they were taking? Why couldn’t they tell that the risks outweighed anything else? 

For the first time in awhile they were running towards something, rather than away. They were running towards safety, towards the idea of a possible future. _What’s the future, without the people that matter to us in it_? The thought popped into his head in a voice he now knew so well. It was all Beth’s. She was slowly finding a place in his head, just as she’d found a place elsewhere, too. 

(In his heart. He knew it was his heart, but it was hard to admit even to himself. It was hard to come to terms with the fact that she had a place there, let alone what sort of place she had and how deep it went. Very few people had ever had a place there, and they had always disappointed him. They had dug their claws into his tender heart and torn it to pieces until he’d found his own way to heal it, by ignoring it, allowing it to grow cold, sealing it all up. Until Beth had come, and started letting her light shine into him to thaw away that cold.) 

When he thought about the road ahead though, all he could see was the risks to all of them. To the group, his family, Judith, _Beth_. All it would take was one herd of walkers coming down the highway while they were trapped again, and that’d be it, probably. The end. Of course, the end was always a risk, but there were ways to minimize that risk. He _knew_ his plan minimized that risk, and it made him mad that most of the group seemed not to see it.

Frustrated, Daryl kicked back at the tree and then settled again, crossing his arms tight and keeping his gaze resting on Beth. She looked over at him occasionally, but he could tell she was giving him space for the moment. She seemed to sense that it was what he needed, right now. Unfortunately, Beth’s sister didn’t seem to have the same sense, cause after a moment his gaze shifted to see Maggie coming up to him.

He tensed instinctively, but didn’t let it show. Just looked briefly over at her and then gave a grunt of acknowledgment as she came up to settle against the tree next to his. 

“Watching Beth again?” 

Daryl raised his eyebrow as he looked over at her without saying a word.

“I’m just saying, I’ve noticed you watching her a lot.” She was being a lot less careful than she had been with Beth, and he wasn’t sure what to make of it. “I know you took care of her, after the prison. I know that a big part of why she’s here today is because of you.” 

That time he frowned. “She took care of herself. Took care of _me_ , too. An’ she’s here cause she’s strong.”

Maggie fixed her gaze on Daryl, and he couldn’t fail to notice the protective tone entering her voice. “Maybe she is, but she’s also still young, too.”

He grunted and crossed his arms tighter. “And?”

“And you’re not.” 

Now she had him confused _and_ annoyed. “The hell’s that supposed to mean.” 

Maggie stepped closer, into his personal space now and making him tense up. “I’m just sayin’, I’ve seen the way you look at her. How you’re always around, you never leave her side really. I’ve seen the way she looks at you, too. She’s been through a lot, but she’s still young, Daryl. Young, and inexperienced. She’s got a big heart, and that only makes it easier for her to get hurt, especially from people who don’t know what they’re doing. I’m just trying to look out for her.”

It was like one tiny step forward, and one big step back, with her. She’d done so good with Beth this morning, but now she was standing in front of him like this, and he just wanted to _growl_ at her. Especially after the idiocy of the discussion with the group a minute ago. The more she went on, the more frustrated he got. He wanted to deny that he knew what she was talking about, but that’d just be a lie. He knew. He remembered the way they’d looked at each other last night. He remembered, the way _she_ had looked at him, the things she’d said about feelings and him, and her. He remembered the way it felt to have her lips pressed to his, so soft and sweet and perfect. It had meant something, just as it meant something that he wanted to kiss her again. He would have been happy even if he couldn’t, though. He would have been happy just to _be_ around her, to see her safe and happy. Which was why it made him so furious to hear what Maggie was saying, to hear her insinuate that _he_ might ever hurt Beth. 

“Are you? Lookin’ out for her?” He turned towards her finally, staring her down and feeling anger boiling up inside of him at the things she was saying and insinuating. “Cause I reckon you gave up the right to _look out_ for her when you _stopped_ lookin’ out for her. When you gave her up for dead, _twice_. Your sister ain’t no kid, Maggie. She’s told you that herself, but you ain’t never listenin’.An’ I dunno what you think is goin’ on, but if you’re insinuatin’ I’m gonna hurt her or somethin’, than you’d better think again.”

He took a step closer, his hands clenched at his sides to stop him from jabbing them into her face. “I would _never_ hurt her. I would never let anyone _touch_ her the wrong way, if I could stop it. If y’ think I’d hurt her, willingly or otherwise, than you don’t know a damn thing about me.” He growled low, his whole body tense, his voice getting louder by the second. “And you _don’t_. You don’t know shit about me, an’ you ain’t never wanted to, so maybe you should just back the fuck off of me _and_ Beth, cause it ain’t none of your damn business!” 

Suddenly he was aware of Glenn coming up beside them, getting in between them and holding up his hands as Daryl shouted at Maggie. “Hey! Calm down, there’s no need to shout.” 

“Ain’t shoutin’, okay! An’ it don’t matter, cause I’m done here. Done with your damn woman buttin’ her nose into shit she don’t know nothin’ about, tryin’ to act like she suddenly cares and shit. You keep her away from me, y’hear?” With another growl he leaned down and scooped up his bow and turned to stride into the forest, and in a heartbeat, she was there beside him. He heard her brushing past a tree, heard her sharp and short, “ _Not now, Maggie!_ ” as she passed her sister by, and then she was at his side and he unexpectedly felt her fingers lace in his.

And he didn’t push her away. He didn’t tug his hand free, or stride ahead of her. He just walked with her by his side, holding her hand, until finally they slowed to a stop a short distance away from the group. Only then did she come to stand in front of him, still holding his hand. Every inch of him was tight and tense with anger and frustration, but the last thing he wanted was to unleash it on her, so all he could do was stand there with his mouth pressed firmly shut.

She stood there easily in the silence with him, her free hand resting on his chest as her eyes gently looked him over as if to make sure he was okay. But she didn’t say a thing, and slowly he realized, that this was what she gave him. She doesn’t babble at him, she doesn’t spout platitudes about working through problems, or dealing with family. She just gave him this. Silence. 

Beth stood there for him in silence, and it’s like a gift. She offered it up to him, this warm and welcoming silence, like a safe place where he can just _be_. Where he can talk, but only if he wants to, because her silence wants nothing of him, it expects nothing from him. It just _is_ , like she is, good and understanding and _there_.

He sighed, and some of the tension eased from his body. His free hand came up to rest lightly on her hip and then around to the small of her back as he looked down finally into those warm blue eyes. “Hate people sometimes,” he said lowly.

“I know. Me too.” She offered him a faint smile, and he knew that she understood. Perhaps not completely, but as much as she could, and that was more than enough. 

“Got that tight feelin’ in my chest, like you mentioned, only it’s just anger. She made me _so_ damn angry.”

“I know.” Her fingers splay against his chest. “I heard what she was saying. Most of it.” 

“Fucking stupid, s’what it was.”

Again Beth smiled, again she replied simply, “I know.” This time though, she went on a little more, “It is stupid. I hope you really do believe that. I mean, it’s _really_ stupid. If there’s anyone in the world that I’d trust not to hurt me, it’s you Daryl. You would _never_.” 

Daryl frowned and his gaze dropped down to the ground as he hesitantly replied, “I’m afraid to, though. Afraid I’ll hurt you, accidentally. Say the wrong thing, or react the wrong way, or fuck up some how and hurt you.”

“Don’t you see?” She brushed her fingers up his chest until she caught his chin and tipped it up so she could look into his eyes. “That’s exactly how I know you won’t hurt me, Daryl, not really. You’re too concerned with _not_ doing it. That’s a good thing, you know. Worrying about hurting people, being afraid you might do it, that’s _normal_. It’s when you don’t care that you’ve got a problem. The fact that you worry about it means you _do_ care.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah. You care. About me. Right?” 

He scuffed his foot on the ground, cause they were entering into rough territory again, but at the same time he knew what she meant. This time, when he worried mentally about saying the wrong thing, he realized she was right. His worrying was all tied up in how he felt about her, it was _why_ he worried. The realization had one corner of his lips turning up in a brief smile as he nodded down at her in agreement. He did care, about her. 

It wasn’t said out loud, but that nod seemed to be enough to put a smile on her lips, and a smile from Beth went a long way towards easing the rest of the tension inside him. “How d’you do that?” 

Beth tilted her head at him quizzically. “Do what?”

“Just... _that_. Knowin’ the right thing to say, y’know, to just untangle whatever’s in my head.” 

Her little laugh lifted his spirits just as much as the trace of her fingers briefly across his cheek. “Maybe I speak Daryl Dixon.” 

“You comparin’ me to a foreign language, girl?” He chuckled the words down at her.

“I kinda think we all are,” she said back, in that soft and almost dreamy voice she got sometimes. “I think we’re all sort of our own language, you know? Sometimes you just find people that can speak it and understand it, almost like it was their own. Those’re the ones you hold on to.” 

He closed the gap between them softly and slowly, and leaned in to rest his forehead against hers. “Remindin’ me again how much I like the way you think, Greene.” 

“It’s all part of my growing fluency in Daryl Dixon, obviously.” She sighed, and then tipped her head back to look up at him. “Don’t worry about Maggie, okay? She just... She just always thinks she’s right, you know? She’s right, and anyone who disagrees with her is wrong. She’s stubborn as heck, she always has been.”

“Must be a Greene family trait,” he teased.

“Hey!” But she was smiling as she said it, and her fingers curled around his ear to tuck his hair behind his head. Both of them were gently touching each other as they spoke, without seeming to notice it. She lightly fixed his hair, he splayed his hands across her back, and it was all so natural. Just as natural as talking to her was, it seemed. 

“I’ll try not to worry if you don’t, too.”

“Who, me?” She tried to look all innocent, but he just snorted.

“Yeah you, girl.” He reached up and brushed the pads of his fingers lightly over the scar on her right cheek, before trailing his fingers to tuck away a stray bit of her hair, mimicking her own movement from earlier. “I know it gets to you, what people say. You’re all on edge when it comes to your sister, cause of everythin’ you’ve gone through with her. I know you’re still mad, too.”

“I am. Even more again, now, cause how dare she jump to defend me all the sudden after abandoning me like that? And from _you_ of all people! The last person I need defending from. I just wanna-”

“Shhh. S’okay.” His hands pressed a little against her back. “I know.”

“I know you do,” Beth sounded much calmer as she looked up at him.

“Yeah? How?”

The smile that curved up her lips was more than enough for him to forget how mad he’d been just moments before. Especially when she added, “Cause you know me better than just about anyone, these days. You’re just as fluent in Beth Greene as I am in Daryl Dixon. We speak each other’s languages.” 

They did. Maybe they were still learning, maybe they weren’t quite fluent yet, but they were getting there. And he liked that. 

Cause if there was anyone he wanted to be fluent in Daryl Dixon, it was the sweet sunshine blonde standing in front of him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm unsure how I feel about this chapter! I think in the end, I like how it came out. I wanted to sort of have Daryl realize a little more how he felt about Beth, but also start involving some of the tension with other members of the group. It was actually important to me to have Carol be on Daryl's side, because I think she would be. I think she understands him more than most, if not as well as Beth. But Maggie, oh Maggie. Beth is right, Maggie is very stubborn. I hope you all don't hate her TOO much. Maggie's kind of a messy combo of trying to be a good sister while feeling guilty about being a bad sister. 
> 
> Overall though, I do think the end scene was my favorite. Overall, I just really wanted to show how they _are_ a team to one another, and how they balance each other, especially within the group. So, yeah? Idk. I hope you enjoyed it!
> 
> Also if you want, please check out the collection of one-shots I have started posting for 12 Days of Bethyl on tumblr! You can find [Little Moments](http://archiveofourown.org/works/2765099/chapters/6200630) right here on AO3. The first prompt is up, and I will add each day as a new chapter. They are set between "Still" and "Alone" and COULD be considered sort of backstory/canon within this story, too.


	13. It Ain't Awful At All

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Beth is starting to notice that everyone _else_ is starting to notice the changes between her and Daryl.

"You know, your hair keeps getting long like this, we’ll be able to put little braids into it, Judy. Would you like that?”

The adorable blonde baby gurgled up at Beth from where she was sitting on a towel in front of her, and Beth chuckled as she mused aloud to the little girl, “Maybe next time we stop somewhere, we can find some little hair clips for you. I know it’s the end of the world and all, but that doesn’t mean you can’t have nice things...” 

Judith cooed up at her, which Beth was more than willing to accept as the baby’s version of a yes, since Judith couldn’t talk yet. Soon, though, she had a feeling the baby was getting close. She made noises that almost sounded like words sometimes, and that was something. Beth made a point of trying to help Judith whenever she was taking care of her, like pointing to her bottle and saying ‘baba’ a lot, or repeating ‘dada’ every time she was near her father.

“She missed you, you know.” 

Beth tipped her head back, shading her eyes against the midday sun, until she could focus on the person standing above her. A faint smile crossed her lips as she replied, “I missed her, too, Carl.” She studied the boy for a moment, pleased to see him. They hadn’t really talked, not since she was rescued, and that stung a bit. Part of it was that she was avoiding people a little, but Beth was also aware that Carl had been avoiding her, too.

It was weird, because they’d actually been close back at the prison. There had been other kids his age, but only in years. Carl had seen too much to really be a kid anymore, at least not entirely. He and Beth had that in common anyway, they’d been younger when the apocalypse had started and it had fueled the way they’d grown up.

She’d known, too, that he’d had a crush on her at one point. It hadn’t been returned; Carl was sweet, but he was a kid to her, and a _friend_. A good friend, that was all. She’d always figured his sweet crush would just fade away, but it occurred to her now to wonder if it was part of why he was avoiding her. Was he upset? Was he jealous, or something?

“Sit down,” she said softly, patting the ground next to her. 

“Kay.” He lowered himself slowly, glancing over at her as he did. “Wasn’t sure if you’d want me to.” At her raised eyebrow, Carl added awkwardly, “Dad said not to... get in your personal space too much, or whatever.”

“Oh.” Beth looked down at Judith, but she only felt a little awkward. In a way she was glad, and thankful to Daryl for saying something a few days ago. This was less awkward than it was when people kept trying to hug her and she had to push them away. “Thank you,” she said softly to Carl, with a little smile that she hoped would help him relax.

He just shrugged though and draped his arms over his knees. Something was on his mind, she knew that, she just couldn’t quite figure out what, yet. So she stayed quiet and played with Judith, until finally he ventured, “I did notice, you know. How you don’t like people touching you.” He paused, just long enough for her to open her mouth to reply, only to be cut off by Carl saying a bit roughly, “Except Daryl.”

Now her eyebrow raised, and though she didn’t realize it, it was an almost perfect mimic of an expression Daryl made when people said unexpected things to him. It was enough to make him squirm a little in discomfort and look out past Judith to the other side of the circle of cars. Beth’s gaze followed and instantly landed on Daryl where he was leaned against their truck. He was never too far from her, when they weren’t side-by-side. She could always find him, as if they had some sort of magnetism or gravity, and their eyes were just pulled to one another.

Even now he was looking at her when her gaze found his, and a smile tugged at Beth’s lips. She didn’t even realize how much it lightened the tension on her face, or the way she relaxed back a little and breathed out a sigh. 

Carl saw it, though, and maybe that was the cause of the tightness in his voice as he grumbled, “You know he’s like, at least ten or fifteen years older than you, right?” 

Though she had a feeling he’d said it to needle her, Beth was so caught off guard that she actually laughed a little. She didn’t _mean_ to, it was just that he’d never sounded so much like a teenager before, so petulant and annoyed. She remembered being like that, even if her Daddy had always sworn that her petulant stage had been like a fourth the length of Maggie’s. 

“I know,” Beth said simply. “I mean, I don’t actually know how old he is but yeah, I know he’s older.” She tilted her head until he looked into her eyes, and held his gaze to get the point across as she said carefully, “You know that doesn’t matter, right?” 

He clung to that petulance long enough to mumble, “It’s _gross_.”

Beth raised her eyebrow again and clucked her tongue at him. “ _Carl_!” She wasn’t sure what she expected from him. Carl had changed since the prison. They all had, but she could tell that he had gone through a lot and she wondered if he’d talked to anyone about it. There had been a time when they had talked a lot between the two of them, and he’d told her once that she was easier to talk to than his Dad. She got that. They’d had that in common. Their families treated them like they were still the kids they’d been, once, like they hadn’t been forced to grow up hard and fast to keep up with the world they were in.

So even though he was being a brat, Beth understood, and she wasn’t gonna lash out at him for it. She’d give him a chance, the way she always did. Beth reached out slowly and gently squeezed his arm. Not too long, because even though she’d been the one to initiate the contact it still made her feel a little tense, but she knew it was enough to get his attention. When she pulled her hand away, she said easily, “You know you can tell me. Whatever it is that’s really bothering you. That hasn’t changed, with us.” 

Beth kept her eyes down on Judith to give him space, but she felt his eyes on her. They lingered, tracing perhaps over the scars on her face or the cast still on her wrist; the physical representations of whatever had happened to her back at the hospital. 

“Do you tell _him_ things, now?” Caryl dragged his foot over the ground, making a line in the dirt. “About what’s bothering you? About what happened?”

“Yes.” She looked up at Daryl, sensing his gaze on her again and giving him a faint reassuring smile so he’d know she was okay with Carl being so close. He settled back against the truck again, content not to interrupt unless she needed it. 

“Is it because he... protects you? Is that why you tell him things, and why you’re close to him and not anyone else?” 

Beth considered that for a moment and then shifted back to tug Judith into her lap and readjust her warm weight. “No. It’s because he believes in me. Because he treats me like an equal. He treats me like I’m strong and he doesn’t pity me, and I guess that’s why I feel safe telling him things. Cause I know he’s not gonna look at me different, or try and shush it all away, or look all sad for me or nothing. He just listens, and he understands. There’s no pressure.” 

Silence fell again, as Carl seemed to be taking a moment to consider that. They sat in easy silence as Carl reached out, dangling Judith’s favorite cup in front of her as she crowed and clapped for it. “Sometimes I wanna tell my Dad stuff, or talk to him, about what happened to us. But he wouldn’t be like that, like you say Daryl is. He’d pity me, or he’d feel guilty for not protecting me. He’d wanna do that thing, you know, that parents do... When they wanna pretend they can make all the bad stuff go away, like it’s just monsters under the bed again.” 

Beth nodded her slow understanding. “No one can really make it go away. It’ll always be there. The bad stuff you went through, and the stuff you might still go through. It’ll always affect you in some way. I think it just becomes a part of who you are. Talking about it, though, that does help. If you can find the right person to talk to. Someone who will let you just let it out, who won’t judge you, but’ll help you understand that it wasn’t your fault, if that’s what you need.”

“Daryl does that, for you?”

She nodded, and her gaze strayed to the man across the little camp again, and the surprisingly tender look in his eyes as he watched her.

“Maybe sometime... I could talk to you, about some stuff?” Carl’s voice was so hesitant and unsure and again Beth heard it in his voice, how young he was still. Young but old at the same time, worn down by the things he’d seen and done and yet without the right emotional growth to know how to handle it.

Again she reached out for him, just a quick squeeze of his arm before pulling away. Her eyes held his firmly as she replied, “Carl, you can come talk to me whenever you want to. Whenever you’re ready. And I promise, I won’t tell you it’s just monsters under the bed, okay?” 

He nodded, but embarrassment had him ducking his head again and looking down at the dirt, and so Beth looked away to give him his space. It must have been hard for him to ask, and the least she could do was give him a moment to collect himself. She wondered if he knew how mature it was just to be able to ask for help like that. There were a lot of adults she knew that couldn’t do the same. 

When he finally spoke again a few minutes later, there was a grudging respect in his voice as he said, “I guess Daryl ain’t so bad.” 

“No,” Beth said with a little smile, “He’s not.” 

“Is he really teaching you to use his bow?” Jealousy colored his voice, and Beth remembered a few times back at the prison when Carl had expressed envy at the weapon, and wished he had one, too.

“Yeah. He’s also teaching me to track and hunt, and use a knife better.” 

“That’s so _cool_.” That wistful tone and the teenage drawl to the words actually surprised a little giggle out of Beth. She was pretty sure it was the first since the hospital that she’d laughed with someone who wasn’t Daryl.

“Tell you what,” she said, nudging him briefly with her arm. “Maybe if you stop calling Daryl gross for a bit, I can get him to show you a few things, too. Or we both could. You should know stuff like that, anyway.” 

“Really?” His eyes lit up, but then he darted a gaze to his Dad and frowned. “I bet he won’t let me, though. He’s still always trying to keep me safe. Let’s me hold a gun now, but he never really lets me out of his sight, especially since...” Carl trailed off before finishing, but not before Beth saw a hint of darkness in his gaze that reminded her both of his request to talk to her eventually, and of the darkness she felt inside herself when she remembered the hospital, the cops, _Gorman_.

Their eyes met and for just a second there was a shared understanding that flashed between them, a bond that could only come from the knowledge that they’d both gone through things they’d rather forget, things that’d changed them forever. “I’ll talk to your Dad, okay? And if it comes to it, I bet we could get Michonne to convince him. He listens to her, and she likes you.”

“Michonne is _awesome_ ,” Carl agreed, with a gaze over at the strong woman that was almost like hero-worship. His gaze shifted back to Beth, and a softer, grateful smile crossed briefly over his young face. “Thanks, Beth.” 

“Hey, it’s nothing,” Beth said easily as she tugged her thin braid of hair out of Judith’s grasp. “We’re friends, Carl. That’s what friends do, they help each other out.” Then she grinned. “ _And_ , they take mischievous little baby sisters off their friend’s hands, when said sister decides to start their new favorite game of hair pulling.” 

Beth grinned and plopped Judith into Carl’s lap, relieved to see the boy just relax and get lost in trying to make his sister laugh. She would rather see that smile on his lips any day, than the darkness she’d seen in his eyes before. 

*** 

“Carl okay?” They were in the truck again, alone this time, and bringing up the rear of the trio of cars rather than the front for once. Beth had a feeling Rick had felt the need to take the lead, after the discussion yesterday about what route to take. He wanted to show he was in control, and though it irritated her a bit, she didn’t mind the chance to sit back alone with Daryl in quiet. She was sitting close to him now, enjoying the faint press of their arms together as they just drove, when his voice cut into her thoughts.

Her silence was measured, as was her voice when she replied, “I don’t know, actually. I think he saw things. Things he hasn’t talked about with anyone, but maybe needs to. It’s hard on him, being the age he is. Everyone thinks of him as a kid still, and he kind of is, but at the same time he isn’t.” She shrugged. “I guess I know a little about how he feels.”

Beth looked over at Daryl, studying the expression on his face and listening as he replied a bit roughly, “He did. See some things. Ain’t sure it’s my place to tell you, if he wants to instead. But there was a group of men, before Terminus. After I... lost you.” 

She remembered him telling her vaguely, of the bad men he’d run into after losing her. He’d never said much more, but he didn’t need to. That was how things were, with them. To reassure him (move over his mention of losing her than anything else), Beth reached down and squeezed his thigh, and that seemed to encourage him to go on, “Carl saw some things, with them. One of them threatened him, and Rick. Rick just...” 

He shook his head and when Beth looked up at him, his eyes looked haunted. “Ain’t never seen him like that. Like an animal, tryin’ to protect his son. Like he just... snapped.” 

Squeezing his thigh again, Beth tipped her head against his shoulder and frowned. “Maybe that’s part of why Carl is so afraid to talk to him.” She sighed. “Well, I told him he could talk to me, when he was ready. I think he will. He wants to, he’s just not ready. But I think he knows that whatever we both went through, it had something in common, and that maybe I’ll understand.” 

Though her voice trailed off for a few moments, the silence didn’t last. Her fingers traced light shapes on his leg as she added, “He was askin’ about you. Why I talk to you and not anyone else, and I told him that you just listen. You don’t pity me or judge me or try and coddle me after. I think he needs that, too.” 

Daryl was nodding above her, she could feel it. She expected him to just stay quiet the way he often did, but he surprised her by asking a bit gruffly, “He say anything else, ‘bout us?” 

Maybe that question wasn’t so surprising, given his argument with Maggie yesterday. The accusations and things her sister had said were weight on both their minds. 

(Beth hadn’t talked to Maggie since, though her sister had tried once. The bridge that had been extended had been scorched yet again by Maggie’s outburst, and Beth wasn’t ready to try again. Yet, anyway.)

“Yeah.” Beth smiled. “He was being a brat at first. Said you were old, and it was gross.” 

She heard a snort from above her, but with her head rested on his shoulder like it was, Beth could feel the tension in his body as well, and she realized that maybe it had been the wrong thing to bring up. “I don’t think that, you know. That you’re old _or_ gross.”

“He ain’t wrong,” Daryl drawled, “I am old compared t’ you. Maggie was right about that, too.”

Now she pulled back to look up at him. For just a moment, worry swirled all low in her belly. There was always some part of her that worried that some point would be the thing that hit him wrong, that pushed him away, or made him pull away from her instead. There were times she was amazed it hadn’t happened yet, and other times where her complete and utter trust in him told her it never would. 

“So what, if you’re older?” Her tone was more brash than usual, but something told her it was what he needed right now. The way he turned to look at her all surprised made her think she’d been right.

He grunted. “Y’ don’t even know how old I am, girl.” 

Beth just shrugged right back at him. “I don’t care.” Whatever this was between them, whatever it was turning into, if she’d cared about his age it wouldn’t have happened to begin with. Obviously it had, and so obviously, Beth didn’t mind. “My Dad was like ten years older than my mom, you know. It doesn’t bother me, or nothing. I mean, I wouldn’t mind if you told me, just cause it’d be another thing to know about you, but it’s not gonna change anything.” She looked into his eyes and said firmly, “You’re stuck with me, Daryl Dixon, and you’re just gonna have to accept that, even if it’s awful.” 

Daryl’s silence pulled her gaze up to him, but then she saw that little tug at the corner of his lips and knew for certain she’d said the right thing. That comfortable silence fell between them for a long few minutes until, seemingly at random, Daryl broke it to murmur, “It ain’t awful at all.”

And she just smiled sweetly, and tipped her head against his shoulder.

“I know.” 

*** 

So far, Rick’s decision to continue along the route he’d chosen hadn’t put them at risk. It had, however, been a lot slower than she was sure he’d planned. It seemed a lot of people had been trying to take this route out of Georgia back when everything had gone bad, and it was rare for them to get very far without having to slow to a near crawl to get around overturned cars or through a sea of stalled cars. Once they’d even had to get out of the cars and risk opening doors to knife the lurkers inside, just so they could push the cars out of the road and clear the path.

That had been about a half hour ago, and so when Beth saw the cars ahead of them slowing to a stop, she instinctively groaned. “I really hope it’s not another traffic jam.” It was weird calling them that, but it kinda fit, despite it being nothing like what traffic jams had been back before all this. Whatever they called them, Beth hated it. She always felt exposed out there in the middle of the road, risking getting attacked whenever they had to open a car door, or even just when they had to slow to a crawl. 

“Nah,” Daryl slowed the truck as he pointed up ahead. “Looks like they found a store, or somethin’.” 

They pulled their truck up with the others in a neat line, and as Beth climbed out she peered up with interest. They’d stopped in front of a brick building, with a sign in white letter on the front that read simply ‘Sullivan’s’. The doors were surprisingly unbroken, and though it looked dark beyond the glass, she could see the first glimpse of aisles inside. It actually looked a little bigger than the small stores they’d been finding up until now, and Beth wondered what it was doing in the middle of seemingly nowhere. When she peered across the road, though, she spotted a gas station complex; on one side she could see what looked like a rest-stop area with tables and benches on one side, and a small little grocer’s shop on the other side. Maybe it was one of the few stops along this highway, which meant it probably did good business with travelers, back when there had still been business to be done.

“Listen up,” Rick drawled as they all gathered around him. Beth could see Carl sitting in the open back of the van with Judy on his lap, flashing her a brief smile before he looked over at his Dad. “We need to check as much of this as we can, but as quick as possible, so we’re gonna take it in groups.” He looked over the people assembled, and quickly sectioned them into teams, “Maggie, Glenn, and Tara, you take the gas station. Check if there’s any gas we can siphon, any cars out back maybe, any supplies inside. Michonne and I will check out the grocery store.” 

Rick’s gaze flicked right to Daryl, and he seemed to hesitate just a second before saying, “Daryl, you and Carol and Sasha can check the Department store. Bring Beth with you, too.Okay?” Beth hadn’t failed to notice a faint hesitancy in his voice then, but it only made her draw up a little straight and nod more emphatically. She wasn’t sure what she had to do to earn his belief in her strength, but she’d keep showing him even if she had to smack him over the head with it. 

“Tyreese, Rosita, and Abraham, I need you to stay here with the others. Keep an eye out. Signal, if you see anything bad coming. If you think it’s okay, you can check out the cars around here, but stay close, y’hear?”

Beth waited until Rick turned his attention to Carl, and then came up beside Daryl just close enough for their arms to brush. “ _Bring Beth with you, too_?” She raised an eyebrow up at him as she murmured the words just for his ears.

“Ah, don’t worry. He’s just jealous he ain’t my number one pick for partner no more.” 

He surprised a giggle right out of her with that one. “Daryl Dixon, did you just make a joke for me?”

“Maybe.” He leaned down and cranked his crossbow back with a straining of arm muscles that very nearly made her breath hitch at how good it looked. Even that didn’t hold a candle to the way he glanced up at her with a faint little smile and added, “S’true, though. You’re my pick, any day.”

She smiled. “Yeah, I know. Dixon and Greene, right?” 

“Damn straight.”

He always knew just how to make her feel better, and she already felt the tension ease away as she pulled the knife from her pocket and curled her fingers around the bone handle. At the sight of it, Daryl nodded down and said, “Might be able to find you something better, in there. Place like this probably has a hunting section. Could at least get you a better knife, maybe a sheath for that one...” He paused and scuffed his foot on the ground as he rose to his feet and shouldered his drawn bow. “Maybe even find you a bow. One you can draw.”

The last teasing remark had her crinkling her nose at him. “You shush, Daryl Dixon! Give me more time to work on my arms, I’ll be able to draw yours, I just know it.” With Sasha and Carol coming towards them, Beth paused just a second and added, “Wouldn’t mind one of my own, though.” 

“One of your own what?” Carol offered her a warm smile as she joined them.

“Gonna try’n get Greene here her own crossbow,” Daryl said, with a nudge to her arm that had Carol eyeing them both with a faint smile. Sasha, too, when she came closer, and for the first time Beth found her cheeks flushing a faint pink at her awareness of people watching them.

To her surprise, Daryl seemed the most casual about it all, nudging her just once more as he joked, “Gotta get one she can pull with those scrawny little arms.”

“Hey!” Forgetting her embarrassment, she looked up at him and stuck out her tongue. “I’ll have you know, my arms are _very_ strong.” She lifted her arm and made a muscle with it, as Sasha and Carol both laughed. “I’m on the lifting Judy exercise routine.”

“That baby _is_ a workout in herself,” Carol replied with a little chuckle, before she lifted up the machete she’d borrowed back from Father Gabriel, and nodded at the door to the department store. “No guns, if we can avoid it?”

Daryl nodded, “Better not to cause noise, if we don’t have to. Ain’t no way of knowin’ what kinda walkers are in there.”

Looking around with a frown, Beth added, “Or around us.” It was a constant worry, these days. One gun shot could summon another herd down on them. Even without that risk, they had to save ammo. It wasn’t like they could make anymore, they had to save what they could get. All of them were getting better at using knives, machetes, even crowbars like the one Sasha had in her hands as Daryl got them together and let the way towards the department store.

Beth was right at his side, the two falling into a pattern they’d made weeks and weeks ago, back when they’d had no one backing them up. He rapped on the door with his hand, and the two of them flattened their backs on either side and waited. Their eyes met, communicating silently, forgetting the other two women for the moment. From beyond the door they heard a shuffling noise, and Beth looked at Daryl in understanding.

He nodded at her and down at the door with his bow. ( _you get the door_ ). In reply, she raised an eyebrow, then pointed at him and jabbed her thumb out away ( _you cover it_ ). They moved just a silently and smoothly as they communicated; one nod from Daryl and he was stepping back, bow raised. Beth gripped the door and pulled it open, standing in front of it just long enough to catch the attention of anything inside before darting quickly around the side of the door to hide behind it. Two walkers stumbled out, moving right towards Daryl, who was ready and waiting to shoot one clean through the head with his crossbow.

As he bent down to load it, the second walker trundled towards him, not seeing Beth to his left. As soon as he was past her she slipped around the door, took one step up behind the walker, and stabbed her knife right into his head in a clean thrust. With the knife removed, the walker slid to the ground, and she and Dary’s eyes met in a rush of adrenaline and matching smiles.

“Wow.” Sasha’s voice cut into the moment, surprising both of them into looking at her. Beth realized she’d forgotten her and Carol were there, and it almost made her wanna blush again. “You guys really got that team thing down.” 

Daryl ran his hand through his hair, but when he did that little one-shoulder shrug thing, Beth knew he was slightly uncomfortable. “We had a lot of practice,” she said easily, coming up beside him to pull the bolt from the walker he’d downed, and offering his to him with the ease of habit. “You know, all those times I saved his butt back when it was just the two of us.”

That got Daryl to snort again, and she could see the awkwardness was gone. “That how you remember it, Greene?”

“That’s my story and I’m sticking to it!” The smile on her lips was genuine, but it didn’t erase any of her seriousness as she turned back to the door and steeled herself to head inside. Those two walkers might have come to the door, but they might not be the only ones. They needed to get in, clean it out, and then grab what they could.

Working silently, the group moved in pairs at Daryl’s gestures; Carol and Sasha heading to the right, and Daryl and Beth to the left. Luckily the store just had a lot of long aisles, so they could make their way down and spot for walkers as they went. The building wasn’t empty, but thankfully there weren’t any more than they could handle. Once there was one at the end of an aisle, and Daryl took care of it with a careful shot. Another was close to them, reaching as they came around the aisle. Beth took it down with a kick to the knee, before bending over to slide her knife into it’s skull. 

It went in so easy that she shuddered a bit. “I dunno what’s worse,” she murmured softly to Daryl. “The newer ones, where they’re still almost like people, or the old ones where it’s like... like sliding your knife into butter or something.” The comparison had another shudder rippling through her body, though it was eased away by the faint brush of Daryl’s fingers to her back, letting her know he understood even if he didn’t have anything to say beyond that. 

Within a few minutes they’d cleared the store, and got to work grabbing whatever they could in supplies. It didn’t look like they’d been the first ones here, but there was still plenty left that they could use. Carol and Sasha rummaged through the small food section, loading their bags with whatever canned food they could find that wasn’t too far expired to risk, while Daryl and Beth did their best to grab some blankets and clothes for everyone, before venturing to the first aid aisle. Beth was on her knees rummaging through the pain pills, trying to find things with the latest expiration dates she could. Aspirin was always good to have, and they were running low on all their medical supplies, since most of them had been left back at the prison and never recovered.

She was in the middle of inspecting the back of a box of Tylenol when she heard footsteps behind her and Daryl’s shadow shrouded her view. “Find something?”

He was silent for a moment, and then he leaned over and dangled something in front of her from his outstretched fingers. “Here.” That was it, no other explanation. 

(She had a brief flash of memory of him doing this before. It was his way of offering, never with an explanation, never a metaphorical bow on whatever it was. It was how he’d gifted her the bone-handled knife the first time, how he’d matter-of-factly brought her to the moonshine still, how he’d given her knife back to her the second time at the hospital.)

Her gaze fixed on the offering, and when it came into focus her breath hitched. “Daryl...” Dangling from his fingers were a couple little beaded bracelets. Nothing special, just pretty little plastic colored beads all strung together on elastic; two were turquoise, and one silver with a little dangling butterfly charm. She reached out, curling her fingers around them but not tugging them from his fingers just yet. 

Beth rose to her feet and turned to face them, the pair of them holding the bracelets between them as she looked up at him and asked, “For me?” 

He just nodded, and that would have been enough for her, but he surprised her by going on, “Saw ‘em. Thought you might like ‘em.” His fingers shifted to curl around her wrist and bring it up, an echo of that day in the hospital when he’d done almost the same. Silently, he slide the bracelets over her wrist and let them settle right across the jagged line of her scar.

The brush of his fingers over her skin had her shivering faintly, her eyes half-shut in pleasure at the contact. But when he shifted his touch to gently tug at the strip of his shirt that had been serving as her only bracelet up until now, Beth opened her eyes to look firmly up at him as she shook her head. “No, leave that one.” She smiled, and his eyes brightened. “That’s my favorite.” 

For one dizzying moment they just looked into each other’s eyes. He was so close, his fingers around her wrist and brushing over the mark on her skin, her heart racing away as her breath caught in her throat. She started to lean up, suddenly struck by the urge to kiss him in thanks, but right before she could she heard Carol’s voice calling out softly from the middle of the store, “Hey guys! I think I found the hunting section...”

Daryl drew back, looking flustered and embarrassed in a way that tugged at her heart again. She moved with him for a moment, curling her fingers around his wrist. She didn’t want to speak, just in case, but she hoped the smile she gave him would be enough, that he would understand the promise of the look in her eyes. _Later_. 

Then, with a soft smile, she let him go and lead the way around the corner, peering down each aisle until they spotted Carol standing at the end of the store. “Fishing gear!” She exclaimed, as she spotted what Carol was eyeing. “Think we could fit that somewhere? Maybe in the back of the truck? I mean, I know we’re staying on the move, but maybe if we stopped by a river or a lake or a pond or something one night...”

“Might as well,” Daryl remarked, looking carefully behind the weapons counter before he hopped over it with his bow in hand. “Got some ammo back here. Not much, but it’s something.” He set a few boxes on the counter and then turned around, examining the wall behind the little counter. Beth watched as he picked out a couple small knives, and one or two sheaths, and set them down as well, but it wasn’t until he ducked into the little back area that she saw interest light up his face.

“Hey, Greene...” She peered after him as he disappeared behind the doorway, only to come back later with something behind his back. “Whaddya think of this?” From behind his back he pulled a small crossbow. It was smaller than his, with a scope on the top and a weird piece in the back that Beth wasn’t familiar with. Seeing the look in her eyes, Daryl hopped back over the counter and held it up for her to get a better look at. “See this here?” He pointed to the bit in the front. “Self-retracting rope-cocker. Means even your little arms can draw it. “ He nudged her with a faint smirk. “You bring these bits down and hook ‘em on the string, and then it helps y’ draw it back.” He lifted it up, sighting through the scope. “Ain’t so sure about the scope. Seems a little off. Might be better takin’ it off.” He looked down at her, and said a bit gruffly, “But it’d be a good weight for you. Lighter than mine. If y’ want it, anyway.” 

Beth shook her head up at him and then gave him a warm, reassuring smile. “Course I want it.” She reached out and ran her fingers over the bow experimentally. “You know this just means you’re gonna have to give me more lessons.” 

He came around behind her and reached around her to settle the bow into her arms. “You think I mind?” Daryl adjusted her grip, letting her hold the bow for the first time as he stayed pressed against her back, nudging one hand to the trigger and showing her where to play the other. “There. Whaddya think?”

“It is lighter,” she replied, her voice breathier than she intended it to bed. Beth cleared her throat, and tried not to notice the way Carol and Sasha both had their eyes on them. 

“Yeah. And you’ll have to practice with it a lot.” His voice was low in her ear and so damn distracting. “S’gonna have a different kick-back, maybe might pull a bit to one side or th’ other. Ain’t the best bow around, but it ain’t bad.” 

“I just can’t believe you even managed to find one!” Beth turned to beam at him over her shoulder as she tried to get used to the feeling of the new weapon in her arms. 

“Yeah well, people ain’t always too bright. Things went to shit, everyone grabbed up all the guns they could-” He gestured to the empty gun rack on the wall behind the counter, “But most people don’t look at a crossbow an’ think to take it.” 

Carol chuckled, and chimed in, “Most people don’t have you around to teach them.”

“Yeah,” Beth agreed, lowering the bow and biting back a sigh at the feeling of his hands dropping away from her arms. “I’m pretty lucky.” 

There was a weight to the way they looked at each other, and Daryl seemed set to say something more when suddenly they heard a muffled gunshot echo through the front door. 

“Shit!” Sasha reached for her own gun and drew it as she headed slowly for the main aisle.

“Came from out front,” Carol said, her machete down at her side, waiting for Beth and Daryl before heading towards the noise.

Daryl was at the counter, shoving ammo an knives into his bag and reaching back to snatch up as many bolts as he could from behind the counter. “Here,” he tossed Beth a black strap that she realized must have been for her bow. “Gonna need that.” He glanced to the front door and then back again. “Shit. Couldn’t give us just five damn more minutes?” She watched him growl in frustration as he shoved the last of whatever he could into his bag and slung it over his shoulder. “Let’s go, girl.” 

Beth ran after him, struggling to clip the strap onto her bow so she could get it out of her way. Just as she nearly stumbled in the middle of the aisle, Daryl reached out and steadied her. His hand came down to snap the last hook in place, but she only had time for a quick grateful smile before she was sliding it quickly over her back and pulling her gun from her back pocket instead.

They slowed just before exiting, not wanting to run right out into trouble. It only took two steps away from the building before they saw it. Maggie, Glenn, and Tara were running out from behind the gas station with at least ten walkers after them, maybe more. Beth figured it must’ve been Tara that made the shot, judging by the way she was braced with her hand still holding the gun, aiming to fire again. As they watched, Rick and Michonne came out of the grocery store at a run, Michonne instantly leaving her bag on the ground as she dove into the fray with a flash of silver from her katana. 

“Idiot,” Daryl growled as he hurried at her side towards the van.

“What?”

“Gonna call every damn walker from a mile around, shootin’ like that.. You see a big group, you run, you don’t panic and shoot.” He slung his bag into their truck and pointed across the street, “Look!” Sure enough, more walkers were coming out of the woods, heading right towards Glenn, Tara, and Maggie.

Beth cursed under her breath as she loaded her own bag into the car and turned to face the group, who were huddled around unsure of what to do. “In the cars, hurry up!”

When everyone hesitated just a second, Daryl slammed his hand on the side of the truck, “What’re you waitin’ for? Everyone in, now!” 

In a sudden rush, people began to move. Carol grabbed Sasha and Tyreese, and ran for the black car. Beth saw Carl hovering by the van with Judy in his arms, clearly desperate to go to his father and help, and she knew that would only make the situation worse. “Carl, you keep Judy safe! Your Dad’s already coming back here, see. You keep her safe and get that van started for him!” Carl seemed to take strength from her orders, grabbing Judy and holding her tight as he climbed up to the front of the van and turned the keys in the ignition.

“Daryl?” Beth looked towards him, trusting him to take command. 

He tossed the keys to her easily, “You get that started for _me_ , girl. Think we might need to rescue those idiots.” As he turned back to the group and raised his bow to take a clean shot, downing a walker just a few feet from Glenn, Beth slid up into the truck on the cab and got the car started. As soon as she had it rumbling away, Daryl was hopping up into the passenger seat, rolling down the window and switching his bow for a handgun. “Drive, Greene. You drive us right over there, _now_.”

With a screech of tires (and an internal prayer that she hadn’t forgotten how to drive since the last time she’d done so, ages ago back on the farm) Beth floored the truck and crossed the street in a big wide circle. The walkers were closing in on their people, who were all bunched up together and trying to hold them back between Michonne’s sword and Maggie and Glenn’s knives. “Cut them off!” Daryl shouted, pointing to a gap between their people and the walkers.

With a curse under her breath, Beth went right up on the curb and drove between them, spinning at the last minute and smacking one of the walkers with the side of the truck bed to send it flying. There was a _bang_ as Daryl shot off his gun, blowing the head of the walker closest by in a cloud of blood and gore. “Get in!” He shouted, spurring the others into action.

Glenn, Maggie, and Tara scrambled into the back of the truck as Beth stuck her head out the window and called to Michonne and Rick, “Carl has the van started, and Carol got the other car. They’re waiting. Go!” 

Daryl fired one more shot that echoed in the confined space and made her ears ring as he pulled his arms back and slapped a hand lightly on Beth’s thigh, “Let’s go Greene. Gotta get the fuck out of here.”

He didn’t have to tell her twice, not with the crowd of walkers coming towards them. Tires squealing, Beth pulled out of the parking lot and off onto the road, slowing just long enough to see Rick slam shut the door of the van and floor it. With their cars in line behind them, they fled the scene, leaving the walkers behind in the dust.

Beth was all flushed with adrenaline, her eyes bright and hot as she met Daryl’s across the cab of the truck. The only thing keeping her from doing something was the knowledge that they weren’t alone this time, with Maggie and Tara and Glenn in the back. Pretty much the worst audience they could ever have.

But his eyes met hers and she saw that same excitement in them, and the little smirk on his lips made her stomach flip as he murmured, “You did good, Greene.” 

She grinned back, “So did you, Dixon.” 

*** 

They didn’t get time alone again till after the group had stopped for the night, about an hour (and two more traffic jams) later. Beth, a bit on edge from the constant contact of the group, had headed off to the side with her new bow to feel it out a bit. She didn’t go far, though, and as she’d walked off she’d felt Daryl’s gaze on her and known he’d follow.

So when he came up beside her where she was crouched on the ground trying to load a bolt into her new bow, she just flashed him a distracted smile. 

“How’s it going?”

“I think I... almost... got it.... there!” She drew it back with a grunt and nearly fell backward onto her butt when it hooked into place. “Whew! That’s still hard. I mean, way easier than yours, but still tough.” 

“You’ll get better.” He reached over to squeeze her arm and the little crooked twist of his lips sent a shiver through her. “Maybe have t’ teach you some workouts for those arms.” 

“Yeah?” Beth grinned. “You gonna be my personal trainer, too?” 

“Maybe.”

That heat was in their eyes again, and with the memory of the energy that had surged between them so many times today, Beth was barely resisting the urge to lean in and press her lips to his. She was just about to cave, when Daryl seemed to shift gears. “I, uh... got somethin’ else for you.” 

“You what?” She blinked down at him as he reached into his pocket. “Daryl...” 

“S’nothing much, just...” He hesitated a second, and then handed her a little spiral bound notebook with a pink plastic front, and a purple pen stuck in the little spiral on the side. “Saw ‘em, in the store today. Thought maybe... I dunno. Lost your old one, back before. Thought maybe you’d like a new one to write in. S’okay if you don’t want to, was just, y’know... I dunno.” 

The more he went on, the more flustered he seemed to get, and Beth just wanted to thank him and reassure him at the same time, and there was only one way in her mind to do that. With only a second of hesitation, she just gave in and did that first thing that came to her mind: she leaned in and pressed her lips softly to his. It was a gentle kiss again, soft and sweet, lingering for a few seconds before she pulled back with a slow smile on her lips. “Thank you,” she breathed out, eyes on his. “I love it.” 

He opened his mouth to speak, and she quickly pressed her finger to his lips. “Don’t say it’s nothing, Dixon. It’s perfect, okay? It is, just like everything else you got me today. Now just nod, and take my thanks.”

When Beth pulled her finger back, he hesitated a moment and then gave her a nod. He surprised her by chuckling right after, the laughter rumbling in his chest as he leaned back against the tree and reached to tug her with him. His hands found her waist and drew her back until her back slotted right against his chest and she fit perfectly between his sprawled legs. “Swear you’re gettin’ feistier every day.” 

“That a good thing or bad thing?” 

He shook his head. “Greene, everythin’ is a good thing, when it comes to you.” 

She tipped her head back against his shoulders, and just closed her eyes. “Oh.” 

“Mhm. Exactly.”

( _What changed your mind?_ Oh.)

With the crickets chirping a chorus around them, and the trees rustling a gentle rhythm, Beth sang into the intimate privacy that belonged to just the two of them: _And we’ll buy, a beer to shotgun, and we’ll lay in the lawn, and we’ll be good..._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was a slow chapter, albeit a long one. It's really just a build-up, of sorts. I wanted to show their growing connection, and Daryl doing some sweet things to her, but also how the rest of the group is beginning to notice and react. I also really felt like the beginning scene with Carl was important, because it bothers me how the show doesn't seem to address what Carl went through. Beth, to me, is the sort of person people can go to, and I've always thought her and Carl would be close friends. Anyway, I hope no one was bored by it all. This is basically the calm before the next chapter, which may be a bit intense! I want to make sure I get it right, too, so it's possible that the next chapter MIGHT not be up until Tuesday. I will try my hardest for tomorrow, though.
> 
> Also if you want, please check out the collection of one-shots I have started posting for 12 Days of Bethyl on tumblr! You can find [Little Moments](http://archiveofourown.org/works/2765099/chapters/6200630) right here on AO3. The first and second prompts are up, and I will add each day as a new chapter. They are set between "Still" and "Alone" and COULD be considered sort of backstory/canon within this story, too.


	14. Cause You're My Girl

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Daryl Dixon's radar never goes off without good reason. This time is no exception.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Brace yourself guys, this is an action-packed chapter! For best effect, feel free to listen to this [extended version of the TWD theme](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kkmI-NyEw5I), especially once the action starts. Big thanks to my best friend [Whitley](http://readingwithavengeance.tumblr.com) for contributing her input as a former soldier to certain action scenes in this chapter.

Daryl’s fingers drummed a stilted rhythm on the steering wheel, pausing and picking up again, hitching and then speeding up. His leg jiggled to nearly the same rhythm as he drove the pickup truck down the highway, occasionally slowing to steer around a car or a walker when one came into his path. He had that feeling. That _itchy_ feeling, the one that made the hairs stand up on the back of his neck even though he couldn’t pinpoint why.

He _hated_ that feeling when it came out of nowhere, when there was nothing around he could figure was triggering it. A sigh fell from his lips and he ran his hand roughly over the back of his neck, before settling it on the steering wheel to drum out a new rhythm.

“What’s wrong, Daryl?” Beth’s soft, concerned voice broke the silence, almost surprising him. It wasn’t that he’d forgotten she was there, it was just that there was this ever present ease between the two of them now, where her being there was so natural that at times, he didn’t even think about it. When he glanced over at her now he could see a hint of worry in her eyes, darkening the cornflower blue a bit as she studied his face.

If it had been anyone else he would have just grunted, but since it was Beth, he found himself asking, “How d’you know somethin’ is wrong?”

A faint little smile tugged at the corners of her lips, and then Beth replied, “I can just tell. When you’re embarrassed, you rub your hand over your hair. When you’re thinking sometimes, you scratch your beard. When you’re worried about something, though, you kinda drum your fingers or jiggle your leg, and sometimes you rub the back of your neck. You’ve been doing it all morning.” 

Something about the way she remembered things like that made Daryl smile inwardly. It wasn’t just that she was observant about everything in general, though she was. (It was part of what made her so good at picking up on tracking and hunting.) It was that she noticed those things about _him_. Used to be he hated people staring at him, trying to pick him apart. Still did. But with Beth, it was never like that. She studied him on her own, quietly and without pressure, and she understood, and then she remembered. Whatever she learned observing him seemed to influence how she interacted with him later; she always knew when to be quiet or when to push, and he genuinely appreciated that, after a lifetime of people never seeming to know how to react around him.

“You ever just get this feelin’, like… somethin’ ain’t right? Like you’re on edge or waitin’ for somethin’, but you don’t know what it is?” He asked the words all roughly, like he wasn’t sure how to express it, cause he wasn’t really. At least he felt a hell of a lot less awkward talking to Beth than anyone else.

He could feel her eyes on him, studying him, considering what he was asking and perhaps examining her own memories to decide if she understood. “I think so. Like that sort of niggling feeling you get, right?” He glanced over at her and nodded. “I get it more with people, I think. Like sometimes I just look at people and I get that niggling feeling like something isn’t right about them.” 

Daryl ‘hmm-ed’ and turned back to look at the road. “Used to get it sometimes, when one of Merle’s sales was gonna go bad. Or when a situation was about to go wrong in general, like at a bar or somethin’ when Merle got his hands on the wrong girl.” He snorted. “Come to think of it, usually involved Merle somehow. He was always gettin’ in trouble.” His fingers drummed away. “Got stronger, after things changed. Sometimes, things just don’t feel right, y’know?” Sometimes it was smaller, like certain buildings on runs or towns they passed by. Other times it was bigger, like with Woodbury, and the Governor. 

Beside him, Beth drew in a slow breath and fixed her gaze on him as she asked softly, “You getting it now, Daryl?”

He hesitated and his fingers drummed out that same unsure rhythm on the steering wheel ( _somethin’ ain’t right, somethin’ ain’t right, somethin’ ain’t right_ ), and then he nodded. “Yeah. Just don’t know why. Ain’t warning bells or nothing, just like… dunno. Too quiet. Keep feelin’ like somethin’ should happen, and then it doesn’t.” 

After a moment, Beth scooted closer to him on the seat, until she was gently resting against his side, like she couldn’t help with the feeling he was having, but she still wanting to reassure him, too. For a few minutes they just drove quiet, but from the corner of his eye he could see her studying everything around him. “Haven’t been a lot of cars in a while,” she said musingly, “Usually we always see ‘em, on the side of the road.”

“Mmm.” Her words had him examining the sides of the highway more clearly. “But some places, looks like there _were_ cars. See there, the skid tracks and the mark on the tree where a car hit?” 

“Maybe people just… found the car was working, and took it, like we do sometimes?” Beth sounded both hopeful and unsure, but Daryl just frowned, as the niggling little warning sensations inside of him got a tiny bit louder. Even Beth’s hand resting just above his knee couldn’t help much, though in a way he did feel better having her beside him. 

He sat up straighter in his seat as he drove, keeping an eye on the cars in front of them. Rick was driving the car at the front today, with Michonne, Maggie, Glenn, and Tara inside. Behind them, Carol was driving the van, with Tyreese in the passenger seat. Carl, Judith, Sasha, Hank, Father Gabriel, and Eugene filled out the back seats. They’d gotten tired of all being crammed together so they’d picked up another car that followed behind the van, even if it meant they had to look for even more gas. Abraham was driving that car, with Rosita beside him, and Noah in the back seat with Ivy. Daryl and Beth brought up the rear again, even though Daryl had volunteered to take the lead this morning.

“City coming up,” Beth said randomly, nodding at a highway sign for ‘Cornelia, GA’. The group had originally planned on following 85 up through Braselton and past Commerce, but just through Suwanee, they’d found the highway blockaded by several downed tractor trailers. They’d had to take the split up 985 instead, and the plan had been to stick with it as it turned to Route 23, before following it to Route 123 and into South Carolina where they could eventually get back to Highway 85. Risking an argument this morning, Daryl had mentioned that their route took them nice and close to Chattahoochee National Forest, where it would be easy to head up into the Great Smoky Mountains, but the plan had been dismissed, yet again.

Maybe that was why he had been so tense all day, cause he hadn’t gotten his way. (Not that it was about ‘getting his way’ in the petulant sense of the word. For Daryl it wasn’t about whose plan it was, but that he felt it was the safer plan, the right plan.) Or maybe it was because they were just about to go over into South Carolina, probably before nightfall. It was the first time he’d be leaving Georgia, ever, and he couldn’t help wondering if he’d ever return to the state, again. It felt… weird. That was the only way he’d been able to describe it, at least, until he’d spoke to Beth about it this morning and as always, she’d found the right words.

(He’d woken up with her tucked against him, her face in the crook of his neck and her little hands curled against his chest. His arm had been around her, his hand splaying against her back to hold her close, and she just looked so peaceful right there in his arms with a soft smile on her lips as her eyes fluttered open. Beth had fallen asleep with him while he’d been on watch last night, until Carol took over with a little smile, and for once he’d let himself actually rest. It had been surprisingly easy with her in his arms, and the fact that she had still been there had made waking up almost perfect. With the others asleep, they took those few moments for themselves, just laying together half-asleep in the stillness of the morning. Daryl had mentioned how close they were getting to leaving the state, and how he didn’t know how it made him feel. Beth had just closed her eyes for a moment and nuzzled against him before she’d somehow found the perfect words. ‘Exciting, because we’ve never left the state before… but also sad. Sad, and a little scary, because we don’t know what’ll happen or if we’ll ever make it back here.’ It amazed him, how she always knew the right things to say.)

Excited and sad didn’t explain the tension within him, though. It coiled tighter as they drove on, more and more as he kept noticing little spots where cars seemed to have been moved from the road. “Look.” He pointed ahead with a frown, to where an exit ramp off the highway was blocked off by what looked like two crashed cars. He glanced quickly, and realized the same was true on the entrance ramp on the other side of the highway, and that was _not_ good.

“Weird place to crash…” Beth trailed off with a frown, and he felt her fingers curling tighter over his knee.

“Don’t like it,” he drawled, feeling tension in every line of his body. When he looked over at her, she was sitting up straight and he could see her shoulder muscles go all tight before she released in a little shiver.

“Me either. I think… I think my little warning radar is going off, too, Daryl.” The worry in her voice only made him feel worse. He just wanted her to be safe, wanted _all_ of them to be safe. Something about this situation was hitting him all wrong, and he _knew_ deep down inside that his radar was going off for a reason. The warning bells were ringing away in his head as they rounded a curve in the highway right towards the small city.

Daryl pressed down on the gas, intent on flooring it if he had to in order to catch up with Rick and get him to stop. This was wrong, wrong, wrong…

But it was too late. Up ahead under a bridge he could see cars blocking the road, almost like the stalled traffic they usually saw, only just _slightly_ off. It took him a moment to realize just what was wrong, and then he saw it; there was an opening right in the center of all the vehicles, just enough space for cars to get through. He might have guessed that someone had moved the cars to the side, to get their own ride through at some point in the past, but one more look at the cars in the distance and it clicked why that couldn’t be true. None of the cars looked moved. They looked like they’d been _positioned_ that way, to blockade the road and allow only a thin path through.

“Shit. _Shit_!” Daryl pressed down hard on the gas, just enough to shoot up next to the car above them. Rosita looked over from the passenger seat in complete confusion that quickly narrowed into wariness as Daryl shouted through the glass. “Stop! Pull over, stop!”

He saw Beth looking ahead, leaning forward to brace her hands on the dashboard of the truck. “Daryl, look!”

 _Shit_. He was too late. Rick had already begun driving through the gap, and before he could catch up, the van was pulling through right behind him. Daryl slammed on his brakes just a few lengths ahead of Abraham and Rosita’s car, and let it coast off to the side. His whole body was tense and on edge as he pulled to a stop on the side of the road. He was waiting, but he didn’t know what he was waiting for…

And then the crack of a shot echoed through the air, and in the distance they heard a faint scream.

*** 

“Beth.” Daryl’s voice was low and urgent. “Grab your weapons, open your door slowly, and crouch to the ground as soon as you get out, okay? Then I want you to move around to the back of the truck with me.” He looked ahead at the blockade of cars, but couldn’t see anything. “I think the trouble is past those cars, but we gotta be safe.” 

He only allowed himself a moment of pride for the way she just nodded and began to smoothly move. As soon as her door opened, Daryl gently and slowly opened his own. Grabbing his bow, he slung it over his back and then carefully slid out of his seat to drop to a crouch. His knives were all in place, but he reached to slide his rifle out from under his seat and then slung it over his shoulder as well. After a second of hesitation, he reached out and took the keys from the ignition; a part of him wanted to keep it running and give them a quick escape, but there was a chance whoever those people were had scouts in the woods that might come around and steal their cars. 

Easing the door shut, Daryl slung his crossbow back into his arms and then moved at a crouch along the side of the truck until he could duck around the back. He felt a faint hint of relief seeing Beth there waiting for him, her own crossbow in her lap as she crouched low. She didn’t say anything, just gave him a nod, but he could read her just like she could him; she would take his lead right now, trust him to figure out what to do. 

Daryl glanced behind them to where Abraham had pulled the other car off the road. Abraham, Rosita, Ivy, and Noah had gotten out of the car at a crouch as well, and were hovering behind the car, peering around to decide if it they could risk crossing the road. Daryl turned, leaning around the edge of the truck and peering up the road. He heard the distant sound of shouts but saw nothing that looked dangerous, so he waved quickly back to the group to signal them to cross as quickly and carefully as they could. 

He watched Beth turn instinctively with her bow in her hands, keeping an eye on both the woods to their left and the road behind them to cover their approaching people. At the same time, Daryl kept his eyes ahead of them, watching to make sure no one came to try and pick them off. Times like this, he was even more grateful for the way they functioned as a team, often without even needing to speak.

Soon he heard panting and the scuffling of feet, and the foursome from the car joined them at the back of the truck. Abraham was carrying a shot-gun, Rosita a rifle; Noah had a pistol and Ivy was weaponless, as far as he could tell.

“What the hell happened?” Abraham growled low as he crouched on his haunches and peered quickly around the truck.

“Funnel,” Daryl said lowly, nodding up the road. “Someone’s got that city claimed, set the highway up as a trap.” 

He glanced at Beth and saw the moment when it clicked into place in her eyes. “They block everything off, so you only have one way to go, and then what… they trap you?” Her gaze darted nervously up ahead to the blockade of cars and the echoes of distant shouts. “Are they gonna hurt them, Daryl?”

“Dunno.” He shifted in place. “Depends on what kind of people they are.” Their gazes held at that, full of meaning and understanding. They’d met good people and bad in the last couple years, and there was never any way of telling what it’d be this time around. Daryl knew Beth was optimistic but him, he liked to plan for the worst. Least then sometimes you were pleasantly surprised.

“How’d you even know to stop?” Daryl turned to look at Abraham, and saw a hint of admiration in the man’s eyes. 

“Dunno.” He shrugged, uncomfortable with anything like praise. “Just felt wrong.” 

“He’s been feeling it since we had to switch routes back by Suwanee,” Beth spoke up for him, and the admiration in _her_ eyes only made him feel warm and appreciated. “Then today he started noticing things, like how there were no cars on the road but signs they’d been moved. He really knew something was wrong when we saw those exits blocked just back there."

“Smart,” Rosita remarked, checking her gun and then settling it across her bare knees.

It was Noah who added lowly, “Guess maybe you were right, about it being a bad idea to go through the cities.”

“Don’t matter now,” Daryl replied gruffly. “Right or wrong, ain’t important. What matters is gettin’ our people away from there.” 

“So what do we do?” Abraham was the military man of the group, the one who frequently tended to try and take more of a leadership role, at least when Rick wasn’t around. It appeared he’d decided to yield control to Daryl for the moment, and though Daryl was never really the type to jump into a leadership role, he wouldn’t draw back when it was set on him. At least, not in a situation like this. 

Daryl leaned around the edge of the truck once more, scanning the area. His sharp eyes spotted the bridge that crossed over the highway, noticeably empty of any people from what he could tell. Stupid, in his mind, if whoever it was had cornered their group like he thought they had. His gaze moved from the bridge down below it to the funneled space, the cars on either side, a tractor trailer off to the right, just the back end of it under the bridge, and then he nodded.

“Alright. Here’s the plan…”

*** 

Daryl moved around the left side of the road, crouched down low and holding his crossbow in his hands as he moved slowly but surely through the abandoned cars. He had gone around the left side of the blockade, weaving through the cars and shifting off the road towards the woods briefly, just enough to get a look up ahead. Not only had the cars been used to block the road and funnel cars through, but thit seemed they extended up the road ahead, parked on either side. _Smart_. It would stop anyone who came through from driving off the road when they were confronted to try and get away. They were forced to stay on the road this way, forced to meet up with whatever people had decided they owned this area. 

Whoever they were they were smart, but they weren’t geniuses. They’d left the bridge open for starters, and they hadn’t thought to send scouts or guards into the trees past the bridge. Judging by the signs they’d still been able to see of the moved cars further back on the highway, this hadn’t been here for too long. They were lucky in that regard; it was possible that whoever had set this trap, they hadn’t had the time to fine-tune it yet. 

Hopefully, that would be something they could use to their advantage. 

Daryl veered back into the rows of cars, crouching down low and picking his way carefully through them. The closer Daryl got down the line of cars, the more he could hear. At first it was just voices; Rick’s, low and firm, and then the voice of an unfamiliar woman, louder and a little more angry sounding. Of course, he knew Rick well enough to tell the man was angry, too, but when Rick was angry his voice got lower, tenser. Like it was right now. 

(Daryl pushed aside the thought that Rick only had himself to blame for this. Blaming wasn’t gonna help no one, even if a part of Daryl was furious at the risk that his family had been put to, all because Rick was consumed with some drive to get them, especially his son and daughter, somewhere safe.) 

Crouched down low, he rounded the front of a green car and came up behind a beat-up red SUV. To his right, he could just see the back of the van that Carol had been driving. The back door was open, and he could just see Carol and Tyreese standing on either side of the van with their arms up by their heads. He leaned out a little bit more, carefully, trying to get a bead on the situation. Far as he could tell, everyone else was still in the back of the van; their heads dimly visible through the windows. 

“Now we don’t want no trouble. We just want all ya’ll to get out of your cars nice and slow, drop your weapons, and get on back where you came from. Leave your stuff with us.” At the sound of the woman’s voice, clear enough to hear words now, Daryl pulled back slowly. He began to creep along the side of the SUV, keeping it between him and the van as he moved steadily forward, so no one could spot him. As he moved, he heard Rick reply, “Now ma’am, we don’t want any trouble either. My name is Rick. Rick Grimes. I used to be a sheriff, back before all this. Me and my people here, we don’t wanna fight you. All we want is to get through, and get out of Georgia, okay?”

There was a snort from the woman, and then he heard, “Yeah, and me and my people just wanna survive. To survive we need supplies, and you got ‘em.” 

Daryl paused near the front of the SUV, still at the side. “Please, ma’am. We got kids.” 

“You think we don’t? You think we won’t do whatever it takes to keep them alive?”

He heard the creak of a car door, and the sudden quick cocking of a gun. “Don’t move,” came the woman’s voice. “You just drop that pistol to the ground, Sheriff, and your friend with the sword better stay where she is. You hear me?” 

Cursing to himself (mostly at Rick and his stupid stubborn plan) as he slid silently around the side of the SUV, slipping between the front of it and the back of a white station wagon. He was almost level with the back of the van now, but not close enough for Carol to see him. Keeping low to the ground, he peered around the back of the wagon, and finally got his first good, full look at the situation.

Rick was standing in front of his car about fifteen feet away, hands above his head and his gun on the ground in front of him. Michonne stood next to him, her hands up as well, her machete still strapped to her back. A quick glance around, and he spotted Maggie, Glenn, and Tara still be in the backseat, but with both of the back doors to the car pulled open. He nearly flinched when he spotted the two unfamiliar women right there on either side of the car, but instinct stopped him from making a sudden movement that might give him away. Instead, he took a moment to inspect them, his hunter’s eyes instantly noting, cataloging, filing away. The one on the right side of the car was tall with short brown hair. She was dressed in jeans and a black t-shirt, and there was a rifle in her hand that she currently had pointed at the three in sitting in the car’s back seat. His gaze flitted to the left hand side, where a shorter black woman stood almost facing him. She had short, dark curly hair, and a slightly thinner figure that was clad in jean shorts and a brown tank-top. The gun looked big in her arms but she held it easier, aiming it back at Carol and Tyreese where they stood next to the van. 

“Now just slide your foot out and kick that gun to me, Mr… Grimes, was it?” It was the voice of the woman again, the words audible now. She spoke in a tone he was familiar with, that rasp of a smoker, almost like his Ma had once sounded, only younger and harder. Taking a brief risk, Daryl leaned out a little further, and got the look at her that he’d wanted. She was a tall thin woman with bronzed skin and long black hair pulled into a braid. Her eyes were dark brown and currently narrowed at Rick as she pointed her pistol at him without the slightest tremble in her hand. Ranging out behind her were two more woman, both holdings guns as well. One looked close to Carol’s age with a stocky frame and white hair, and she held her old pistol comfortably, looking like she’d used it plenty times before. The other was young, maybe only a year or two older than Beth, and something about her bronze skin and dark hair and the set of her face, made him think she was related to the woman who was in charge. Sisters? Maybe even mother and daughter. 

That was worrisome. Ain’t much more dangerous than a woman protecting her kin. (He remembered Rick, tearing the throat out of that man, he remembered himself raising that gun to shoot that cop woman in the head when he’d thought she’d killed Beth, and amended that statement: ain’t much more dangerous than _anyone_ protecting their kin.) 

In the distance he could see at least two more people keeping guard farther back, which was what he would’ve expected. They’d have been stupid to have their whole force out here, and while they were dumb enough to not put people back behind or on the bridge, they were obviously smarter in some ways. Had to be smart to think about this situation in the first place. 

The interesting thing of it was, judging by the set of their stances back there, he had a feeling they were women, too. Far as he could tell, the entire group was made up of women. He didn’t know why that surprised him. It weren’t like he didn’t know women could handle themselves. His family included Carol, and Michonne, and Maggie, and Rosita, after all. And then there was Beth, of course. But it was still surprising, somehow, seeing them. Maybe because usually it was the guys who did asshole things like this, cornered people like rabbits to steal from them and shoot them dead.

Whoever these women were, so far they didn’t seem intent on killing them. Or at least, they hadn’t made a move to, _yet_. There was no way of knowing whether or not they still intended to, and Daryl just couldn’t take that risk.

He crouched down low on the balls of his feet, resting the bow in his lap, already loaded. Waiting for just the right moment. 

Rick kicked the gun across the ground, and the woman with the braid eyed him for just a second, before she bent down to pick it up. _Stupid move_. But that stupid move was the opening he needed. Daryl cupped his hands around his mouth and made a bird call, the sort that would blend in completely with the woods surrounding them. Just a normal forest bird, nothing to be startled by.

The crossbow bolt that flew past the woman, close enough to nick her shirt, now _that_ was something to get startled by. As was the shot that rang out from up by the bridge, cracking into the ground right in front of the brown-haired woman who had been guarding Maggie, Glenn, and Tara, making her spin around with her gun raised. That was Daryl’s cue, and Abraham’s too. From either side of the road they both took their shots. Daryl’s bolt flew right past the leg of the black woman, nicking the side of her thigh. Abraham’s shot from across the street whizzed into the center of the two women in the back, making them jump and whirl around.

( _Pick your shots_ , he’d told them carefully, back at the truck. _Aim to startle, aim to make’em panic. We ain’t tryin’ to kill ‘em, unless they try’n kill our folk. That ain’t who we are. We go in hard an’ fast, this whole thing ain’t gonna last more’n two minutes, if we do it right. Keep movin’, keep pickin’ shots, keep’em on our toes until we can get our folks out of those cars an’ back here, quick as possible._ )

Another crossbow bolt came from up high, grazing the arm of the same woman Daryl had shot at seconds ago, courtesy of Beth, who was currently sprawled out on top of the tractor trailer acting as one of their snipers. It wasn’t what he’d have chosen for her first time with her new bow, but she was doing what she needed, and doing it well, and he’d have been proud, if he had the time for pride right now.

The second sharp shot above came from Rosita up on the bridge, using her rifle like a sniper to hit around them, scare them into jumping back and whirling around to look for whoever was shotting at them. They didn’t give them time to pin-down where the shooters were. He and Abraham shot from the sides, just long enough to make them think they had a large group of people backing them up before they rushed into the fray. 

His crossbow slid over his back in one smooth motion and his pistol was in his hand. He came out from behind the wagon, shooting into the ground right near the younger girl, knowing she’d jump, knowing the older woman would jump to protect her. “ _Rick_!” He shouted as he and Abraham (the assault team, he’d called them when he laid out the plan), closed in on the cars. “Let’s go, now, _move_!” The others in the car didn’t hesitate, once they heard Daryl’s voice. Maggie surprised him by coming out of the back of the car feet-first, kicking out and sending the black woman down to her knees. As soon as she was down, he saw Carol and Tyreese jumping into action behind them pulling their guns. “Don’t!” Daryl shouted. This wasn’t meant to be a gun fight. He just wanted his people safe, and out of there. “Get everyone out of the van, _now_. Get them back through the barricade, Noah and Ivy are waitin’ with the other cars. We’ll cover you. _Go_!”

On the other of the front car, Tara climbed out only to come face-to-face with the tall woman who had been guarding them. She’d been startled by the shot from Rosita, but whirled around with her gun in hand, ready to take Tara out. Just in time, Abraham came up behind her with a roar, grabbing the weapon out of her hands and flinging it aside before he shoved her out of the way. “Tara! Run!” That was Glenn coming out behind her, grabbing her as he climbed to his feet and shoving her back towards the van.

Rick was still there, up by the front of his car. As he moved towards him, Daryl felt aware of everything happening all at the same time, all in the same moment. The sound of the van doors opening behind him, gasps and shouts as people climbed free, Carol’s voice shouting ‘go, go!’, Carl crying out ‘Dad! Dad!’, the whiz of another bolt from Beth, almost hitting the older woman with the pistol as she stepped closer to the young girl, and behind them the two woman down the street were running forward guns raised. 

“ _Rick_!” Time slowed to a crawl, and he saw Michonne drawing her sword in one smooth motion, turning to run back to the others; saw Rick turning slowly, too slowly, calling out to Carl as he did; saw the woman in charge regaining control, gun raising, finger on the pistol, ready to shoot. He reached out and grabbed Rick hard by the arm, pushing him out of the way and slamming him against the car just as the shot went off. 

There was a white-hot flash of pain across his arm, and his “ _shit_ ” was exhaled into the air at the same time as someone cried out from behind and above him, “DARYL!” No time to stop, no time to look. The woman still had her gun, she was aiming it right at him and then suddenly she was flying back, a bolt lodged in her shoulder.

 _Beth_.

Her name lit up everything inside of him, filling him with a fire that burned away the slow crawl of time. With a sharp breath he shoved off Rick where he’d pinned the man to the car and grabbed him until Rick’s feet caught up. Then they were running, feet pounding on the ground as they hurried past the van. Shots rang out all around them, from above them on the bridge and from the top of the truck where Beth seemed to have switched to her handgun. From behind them, too, shots hitting the ground with sharp cracks, barely missing them until, lord, he heard a scream from up ahead and looked up to the sight of someone falling.

“ _Sasha_!” He heard Tyresse call out for his sister, saw the big bear of a man bend down mid-run and scoop her up into his arms in one smooth motion before darting between the gap in the blockade of cars. Daryl stopped, gasping, desperate to make sure everyone had time to get through okay. He stood there a few feet from the gap, gun pointed at the women, firing steadily and trying his damnedest to keep them back. Another shot went right by his face with a hiss, and even as he ducked he heard a cry from behind him. Daryl turned sharply, just in time to see Father Gabriel fall to the ground, clutching his knee. “ _Shit_!” Carol cursed as she slowed down, bent over, and lifted the man up with a grunt. In one rough movement she was slinging his arm over her shoulder and dragging him with her as she shouted back over her shoulder, “We gotta go, Daryl, we gotta go!”

But he heard a shot close behind him, _too close_ , and turned to see the lead woman coming down the street, gun raised, shooting up at the tractor trailer. He didn’t think she could reach her like that but he still called out frantically, “Beth! Beth!”

In a heartbeat he was at the back of the truck, but there was only one moment of panicked desperation ( _don’t be hit, god, not Beth_ ) before her face appeared over the edge. Her eyes were wide and bright with adrenaline, her cheeks flushed as she exclaimed, “Daryl!” 

Relief flooded his system but he had to push it aside for now to growl up at her. “C’mon, girl. Gonna have to jump for it, and then we’re gonna have t’ _run_ , y’hear me?” 

Hearing footsteps getting too close, he leaned around the edge of the back of the truck and took aim. The way the woman had been firing straight at Beth, it was almost enough to make him want to actually hit her, but at the last moment he adjusted his aim and fired right at her feet, making her jump back and stumble.

It was just the time he needed to reach up, arms outstretched. “Jump, Greene! I’ve got ya. _Jump_!”

With complete trust in her eyes, Beth leaped off the truck and right into his arms, hitting him with an ‘ooph’ that made him stumble back before he caught himself and got her feet on the ground. Daryl was running on adrenaline and instinct, had been since the sound of that first shot. So it was 100% instinctive when he turned, grabbed her hand, and just _ran_ with her, back through that opening in the cars. They ran full out, feet slapping on the pavement, not daring to look back even though shots rang out around them. 

Up ahead the cars were running, and their people were piling into them as quick as they could. He didn’t know how they were all gonna fit in two cars, but they had to. They had no other choice. 

He could see Ivy shifting over as Abraham shoved Eugene roughly into the seat and then jumped in after him. As the big red-haired man grabbed the wheel of the car again, Rick slid into the back, clutching Judith close in his arms and bringing Carl with him. Michonne followed behind, sliding in tight beside them. Ahead of Daryl, Carol dragged Father Gabriel to the back of the truck and lifted him up with the help of Maggie, Glenn and Tara, who were already inside. Thank god for the fucking truck. It wouldn’t be comfortable, but he knew you could fit a lot of people sitting back there, even if it were tight. With Carol’s help, Hank got inside too, and pulled her up after him before they both turned to help Tyreese up with Sasha, who he was carrying limp in his arms. Noah, who he’d left with Ivy to guard the cars, was in the cab of the truck, and he slid over the moment Daryl and Beth came running up to the open doors.

Beth turned to him and shouted, “Rosita?” But the woman flew out of the woods just a second later, long tanned legs a blue as she raced to Abraham’s car and climbed into the front with Ivy, shouting out the window, “Go!” That was all the incentive they needed. Daryl pushed Beth up into the truck with his hands on her ass, and slid in right after her, slamming the door shut. The moment he was in, his foot was on the gas, flooring it. Screw seatbelts. He’d rather just not get shot. The tires squealed as he spun the truck around in the other direction, hearing gunshots ringing out behind them to crack into the pavement. 

He didn’t stop, didn’t hesitate once. As soon as he was sure Abraham was right behind him, they were out of there. They hauled ass, flying down the road, intent on getting as far away from that trap as they possibly could. 

*** 

Daryl would have kept driving for hours, if Beth hadn’t stopped him. In the end it was only about twenty minutes before she reached out to clutch his right arm and pull his focus to her. “Daryl, it’s okay. We got away, we made it. We need to stop now, okay? Father Gabriel and Sasha, they’re both hurt, they can’t take the back of that truck much longer. We need to stop, we need to help them.”

(Neither of them dared mention that most of their medical supplies had been in the van they’d been forced to leave behind.)

He just nodded, and refocused, and aimed for the next turn-off he found. A few minutes later they were coasting to a stop at an abandoned house right off Cornelia Hwy. He wasn’t sure he wanted to be so close to a road that had the same name as that fucking trap-town, but right now, he didn’t have much of a choice.

Doing his best to slow as they drove up the bumpy road for the sake of the people in the back, Daryl coasted to a stop and put the truck in park. As soon as he stopped, both Noah and Beth were climbing out their side and hurrying quickly around to the people at the back.

Beth’s anxiety around people seemed to be shoved back right now, when she was more concerned about their family being hurt. He glanced through the window and saw her back there, urging people to get out of the way, to let her get a look at their injured members, and he remembered that she’d helped her Daddy out back at the farm, that she’d helped the people at the hospital, too, even though they’d kept her captive there. At least something good at come from that horrible place.

“Tyreese, get Sasha’s shirt out of the way, and then I want you to keep pressure on that wound, okay? It looks like it went clean through her shoulder, but we gotta make sure. Maggie, will you help him?”

Daryl pushed the truck door open. “Lay Father Gabriel out, okay? Looks like he got shot in his leg. We need to keep it raised, and get his leg free of those pants so we can see if it went through. Noah, take my knife and cut his pants off from the knee...”

He smiled at the sound of his voice. That was his girl, in control, helping the people she loved. Daryl pushed open the door wider and slid out, but when he rose to his feet he felt a rush right to his head and swayed, before falling back slightly against the car. “Daryl!” He heard Beth’s concerned voice from the back of the truck, but Carol got to him first, her hands instantly tugging at his arm and finding where the bullet had grazed him.

The adrenaline was leaving his body and _shit_ that hurt.

“He’s been shot!” Carol cried back to Beth, even as Daryl waved a hand at her to push her away.

“M’fine.” He was. He’d gotten worse than that, plenty of times before. Daryl even opened his mouth to say it, but then he looked down and saw the blood dripping from his arm to the ground, and maybe he’d been bleeding more than he realized because suddenly he was surprisingly lightheaded. 

“I’m... I’m fine... Just gonna...” He started to slump against the truck, sinking down to the ground. “Just gonna sit, just need t’.... Sit.” 

Everything started to go hazy for just a moment, and then suddenly Beth’s face was right in front of him. She was crouching down in front of him, her blue eyes full of worry but somehow also uplifting at the same time. “I’ve got you,” she murmured, catching him under his arms and lowering him to the ground before kneeling between his legs. “You just stay right here with me, Daryl. I’ll take care of you.”

“Yeah,” he breathed out, dazed but with his eyes on her, seeing sunshine and blue eyes and _don’t you think that’s beautiful_ and god, yes, he did. “I know. Cause you’re my girl, right?”

Beth looked up from where she was wetting a cloth with some water, and her eyes were wide with surprise for just one moment before a smile curved up her lips and she exhaled, “That’s right.” She pressed the wet cloth to his wound, ignoring his hiss of pain as she started to clean it with gentle dabbing touches. Of course, the pain was nothing compared to the look in her eyes as she murmured back, “I’m your girl, Daryl. Now you just focus, and stay with me. I’ve got you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dun dun dunnn! I hope you liked this chapter, it was a different pace for the story a bit, and I worked really hard to get it good. (There was a LOT of research involved!) All the places mentioned in the story are real, including the city where the trap is. If you're curious, here's the [spot of the ambush](https://www.google.com/maps/place/US-23,+Cornelia,+GA+30531,+USA/@34.5390082,-83.5392433,632m/data=!3m2!1e3!4b1!4m2!3m1!1s0x8858b25d37cb4757:0x5d2b11ab6c5f687e), and here is where they [stopped afterwards](https://www.google.com/maps/place/6902+Belton+Bridge+Rd,+Lula,+GA+30554/@34.4098058,-83.6692328,336m/data=!3m1!1e3!4m18!1m15!4m14!1m6!1m2!1s0x8858b25d37cb4757:0x5d2b11ab6c5f687e!2sUS-23,+Cornelia,+GA+30531,+USA!2m2!1d-83.5392433!2d34.5390082!1m6!1m2!1s0x885f5433bf3100d5:0x768f927408b7c016!2sLula,+GA!2m2!1d-83.6662854!2d34.3876013!3m1!1s0x885f5422c39cd475:0x3e195fadc150cbf1) to tend the wounded. Probably no one is interested in this, but I'm weird about mapping and finding actual places to make it more realistic, so, there you go!
> 
> I hope you guys liked the big action scene. IT'S ALL RICK'S FAULT, GOSH. >.> I had a lot of fun writing it, even if it was nervewracking. Having it be a group of women was important to me, there's not enough women on The Walking Dead. (We don't get to see it play out, but I have headcanon about these women, how they've all been treated like shit and maybe harassed and attacked by men, so they make their own safe place, and do whatever they have to do to survive.) Oh and yes, the "funnel" idea was inspired by The Last Of Us, if anyone caught that.
> 
> (I bet I know what your favorite part was, though, all of you! It was the end, wasn't it? HM??? Comment and let me know!)


	15. We Can Be Scared Together

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In the aftermath of the fight to save their family, Beth's strength gives way to panic, but Daryl is right there with her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am really really sorry if this chapter is crap. I was just so tired today, and a little discouraged, and I actually thought I wasn't gonna get anything up, but somehow this all came out. I hope you enjoy it, anyway, because despite being tired, I do think the Bethyl moments in this one are very special. I did a lot of googling and consulting of my soldier!BFF, so hopefully the gunshot stuff makes sense.
> 
> **WARNINGS** : PTSD/panic attacks, blood, medical treatment of gunshot wounds, etc.

The hours that followed the shoot out were a blur in Beth’s mind and in all honesty, she had no idea how she had made it through. Everything threatened to trigger her; the gunfire, the screams, the press of people around her after, the blood on her hands, the sight of Daryl wounded and sinking to the ground. Yet somehow she hadn’t panicked. Somehow she hadn’t given in. Some combination of adrenaline and a deeply rooted instinct to protect her family had consumed her, shoving away the panic until it was unable to influence her.

It was only after, when the adrenaline began to wear off, that the panic crept up on her again. She had fought it for hours. Long enough to clean and bandage Daryl’s wound and convince him to rest while she saw to the others; to be grateful for the help of her sister, who she might still have been furious at, but whose experience assisting their father made her the best help Beth had, besides Ivy; to watch as the others cleared the little house of walkers and helped to carefully carry their injured inside. 

She fought her panic long enough to get Sasha sitting up on the couch so her wound was elevated, cleaning it as best she could once she realized that it was a graze rather than a shot through her shoulder. It was deeper than Daryl’s, though, and Beth knew it would need stitches once the bleeding had stopped. She did her best to pack the wound and put a pressure bandage on it, before instructing Tyreese to come find her in ten minutes if the bleeding hadn’t stopped.

Her concern kept her anxiety at bay long enough to elevate Gabriel’s leg and get a look at the gunshot wound to it. It had gone straight through below his knee, but she couldn’t tell yet if it had hit anything important, and she had none of the tools they’d had at the hospital. The best she could do was pack the wound and pressure bandage it as well before leaving him under the care of Ivy, with strict instructions to apply pressure to his femoral artery if it kept bleeding. 

Beth even kept that panic down for enough time to get Daryl in the kitchen and seated at the table, safe even if he was refusing to lie down and was instead watching everyone silently. 

Then everyone began to settle, and her adrenaline began to fade and suddenly it was becoming too much. The walls of the little home felt like they were closing in on her, and there were so many people all pressed around her, brushing against her. Her breaths began to come shorter and sharper and she looked down and saw blood on her hands and instead of knowing it was Sasha’s or Gabriel’s or Daryl’s, she saw Joan’s blood instead, Joan’s blood as she held her down so they could cut off her limb, Joan’s blood as she lay across the floor after ending her own life, so much blood, _lord_. Beth felt her stomach lurch as she gasped for air, the air ringing in her ears, and it was _too much_.

She shoved up from the table, toppling the chair onto the floor, oblivious to the stares of everyone around her as she ran blindly for the back door. Rick reached out to grab her without thinking; perhaps he was just trying to stop her from going out where it might not be safe, maybe he didn’t even think that it was _her_. It didn’t matter, cause his arms were around her and Beth couldn’t _breathe_ , could barely gasp out, “Let me go, let me go, please, no!” And she lashed out and his arms fell from around her just enough so that she got free, pushed through the door and stumbled into the cooler air.

Oblivious to any commotion behind her, Beth stumbled down the back steps of the house, but only got to the last step before she was bent over and throwing up right in front of an overgrown bush. Dimly she heard the door opening behind her, but Beth didn’t look. She wiped her mouth and stumbled a few more steps forward, only to give up, falling to her knees in the dirt. Her whole body was trembling and she couldn’t seem to make it stop. All she could hear in her head were gunshots and screams, all she could see was the blood on her hand, so much blood. She gasped, trying to fill her lungs with air, trying to force herself past it as her vision began to go hazy.

And then he was there. 

His arms slid around her from behind, holding tight to her waist and drawing her back against his chest. She knew in an instant that it was him, because the scent of him surrounded her and with it that warmth, that sense of safety. “Breathe,” he murmured in ear, the same slow rhythm she had become accustomed to every night she’d woken up gasping for panicked breath. “That’s it. Breathe in with me, Beth. In… and then out. In… and then out. Good girl. Just like that. I’ve got you. It’s okay.” 

Beth was still shivering, but at least she could breathe now, ragged as it was. She looked down, wanting to see his arms around her, but instead just the blood on her hands. In a dull, distant voice she murmured, “So much blood, Daryl. See all the blood?” She lifted her hands as if to show him, and at the sight of her blood-stained hands in front of her face, a whimper broke the monotony of her voice.

“I see.” She didn’t know how his voice could be so calm. “It’s okay, Beth, we’ll get your hands clean.” She felt his head turning, heard him call out, “Noah!” She was grateful for that; grateful he hadn’t called for anyone else. She didn’t think there were many people she could stand right now, even if she’d have wanted to see her like this. Noah, though… Noah knew. He understood. He’d been there, too. 

When the young man dropped down in front of her with a rag and a bottle of water, Beth could only meet his gaze briefly before she had to look down. She hated herself for this. Hated herself for being so weak, for not being able to control her panic. She was supposed to be strong, supposed to be a fighter. When she was like this, she felt just like the person Dawn and Gorman had told her she was: weak, useless, a burden.

“I’m sorry,” Beth whimpered as Noah began to gently clean the blood from her hands. 

He looked up sharply, but it was Daryl behind her who murmured roughly back, “Don’t apologize, Beth. You ain’t got nothin’ to be sorry for.” 

“I should… should be stronger… shouldn’t be like _this_. Shouldn’t be so... weak.” She was struggling again to get the words out, to not forget how to breathe again as her chest tightened. 

“How could you think you’re not strong?” To her surprise it was Noah who spoke up, his voice low and gentle. “You were amazing back there, during the fight, and _after_? Beth, it’s because of you that Sasha and Father Gabriel are okay right now. Because you held it together, and helped save them.” 

“It was too much,” Beth exhaled raggedly, “I _panicked_.” 

“But not until after,” Daryl murmured behind her, his lips close to her ear as he held her tight. “You didn’t panic until after everythin’ was taken care of, until our family was safe.”

Beth shivered, even as his words began to penetrate. “Don’t… don’t want them thinking I’m… weak.” She knew they did, they all did. (Or they had, and Beth still didn’t believe that had changed in their minds.)

Noah had finished cleaning off one hand and moved to the other, being careful not to touch her any more than was needed. “Hey, don’t you remember what I told you? If they think we’re weak, it’s cause they don’t know shit about us, about what we are.” 

She heard a rumble of agreement from Daryl behind her, and Beth breathed out another sigh, feeling the tension in her chest ease a little. She opened her mouth to instinctively apologize again, only to stop and press it shut. For a long moment she just stayed like that, breathing in and out to match the rise and fall of Daryl’s chest, and letting Noah clean the last of the blood off her hands.

“There,” he said softly, pulling back onto his haunches. “I’ll give you some space, okay?”

Beth nodded, but then looked up to meet his eyes as she said softly, “Thank you.” 

He shook his head. “Nah. Still thanking _you_ for keeping me safe, again and again.” He paused, and then as he rose to his feet he added softly, “But you know, if you ever need to talk, I’m always around, okay?” 

When he headed back into the house, Beth was left alone with Daryl. After a moment she turned slowly in his arms to face him. He was on his knees in the dirt, and she joined him just like that, fitting her slender frame between his thighs as she leaned in to rest her forehead against his chest. Her fingers found his shirt, curling into it as she just rested there. Her body was still faintly shivering, but she felt that beginning to smooth away as his hands brushed up and down her back.

“You should be inside, resting,” Beth murmured unexpectedly, as she suddenly remembered he was injured.

He just grunted at her, his ‘don’t be an idiot’ grunt, the one that always put a faint smile on her lips. “This is nothin’. Definitely ain’t enough to hold me back when y’ need me.” His hand splayed at her back as he said softly, “Was always right with you, Beth.”

Of course he was. He was right there, and Beth felt so damn lucky for that. “You’re always there when I need you,” she murmured, nuzzling lightly against the crook of his neck.

“So’re you, for me. Like you were today, every time I needed you.” He rubbed his hand in a slow circle on her back, and said lowly, “S’part of being a team, right?”

A surge of emotion rose up inside of her, thick in her throat, and all she could do was nod. The sudden enormity of the things she felt for him combined with the lingering remnants of her panic attack, was just too much to manage right now, unless she was just here, silent, in his arms. 

“S’okay,” he said softly, holding her tight. “We’ll stay right here, till you’re ready to get up. One-armed or not, I’ll still punch anyone who tries to interrupt us.” 

The mental image surprised a hoarse little laugh from her, easing another coil of tension back. She was content to just stay there in his arms, breathing him in, allowing his embrace to ground her. Beth kept her face tucked against his shoulder, her nose shifting just enough so that it could graze the warm skin of his neck as she rested there. Her mind was a mess of the shoot out today, the sight of Daryl slumping to the ground, the feeling of blood on her hands, but also the sight of Daryl turning to smile at her in the truck, or the way he looked in the morning when she woke up next to him, or the few memories she had of her lips pressed to his. All of it cycling through her mind on a varying loop, leaving her to sort through it, or try to.

Daryl was never one to say things when it wasn’t necessary. For a good ten minutes he just held her, his hands spanning her slender back, keeping her between his bent knees and tucked to his chest as her shivers slowly eased. When he finally did speak, his voice was low and soft in her ear, more than he ever said with anyone but her, “Just want to make sure y’ know, you ain’t weak Beth. You’ve been through so much, but it ain’t weakness that it affects you. Weak would be givin’ up, givin’ in. You ain’t that person. You’re a fighter, Beth. You fought tooth an’ claw today, just like I knew you would. You fought to defend your family and you fought t’ save them, and you didn’t let it get to you until after. An’ that’s okay. It’s anything but weak.” 

It wasn’t possible to find the words to respond to that, not right now. But she wanted him to know that she heard, that she understood. So she nodded slowly against him, her nose brushing his neck as she exhaled in a soft sigh, telling him ‘thank you’ with the easing of her body against his.

Beth stayed like that again for a long moment, before a faint smile twitched at her lips and she breathed out, “You were right, though. My new bow does pull a bit to the right, and the scope is crap.” 

He chuckled, and another knot of tension released inside of her at the sound of it rumbling through his chest. “New crossbow lessons it is, then. Soon as this arm of mine is healed a bit more. Deal?”

Beth hummed and pressed her cheek to his shoulder. “Deal.”

*** 

In the end it had been almost an hour before she’d felt comfortable going inside again, and even though her panic attack (if that was what it had been, anyway) was over, Beth still felt tense. Tense, and incredibly awkward. Everyone had seen her this time. She’d always managed to hide those panic attacks, but this one had been right there in the open for everyone to see. Impossible to ignore. She felt like everyone was watching her the whole night as they settled in, felt like their gazes were weighing heavily on her as she stood in the kitchen, avoiding eye contact, shifting awkward in place. The only thing that kept her from tensing up again was that Daryl was by her side, refusing to go anywhere, guiding her into sitting down and telling her she didn’t need to go beyond the kitchen just yet.

A part of her just wanted to avoid everyone, to slip back outside with Daryl where she could _breathe_ , but she knew she had to try to work at this. So she sat there next to Daryl at the kitchen table, taking strength from him and adjusting to being inside again, but avoiding contact with anyone else, no matter how much they stared. It was only when Rick came into the kitchen (where she and Daryl had been hiding away) that she felt the urge to say something. “Rick, I… I just wanna say, I’m…” She ducked her head and swallowed hard, but when she felt Daryl’s fingers press against her back, she looked up and finished softly, “I’m sorry. For pushing you away, earlier. I just… I panicked, and-”

He was already shaking his head. “You don’t need to apologize to me, Beth. I should have known not to grab you, but I wasn’t thinking. _I’m_ sorry.” The older man seemed to hesitate for a moment, brushing his hand over his salt-and-peppered beard, before he rounded the table to sit down opposite them and continued, “In fact, that’s not the only thing I should be apologizing for, and I know it.” Rick looked up across the table, focusing on the pair of them were they sat close enough for Beth’s arm to press against Daryl’s uninjured arm.

“I’m sorry I didn’t listen to you. You were right, Daryl.” He paused, and then conceded, “ _Both_ of you were right. We shouldn’t have stuck to the highway, we should have gone around, up into the mountains like you said. I was just… I was being selfish, maybe, I dunno. Or too focused on what I needed. All I could think about was Carl and Judith, and finally getting somewhere safe. If that’s even possible.”

“I think it is,” Beth said softly from across the table. “I think it could be, anyway. Rick, I… we…” She looked at Daryl briefly, the two communicating silently, unaware of the way Rick’s head tilted to the side and he smiled faintly as he watched them. Knowing from a look and a nod that she had Daryl’s permission to speak for him, she glanced back at Rick and went on, “We know you just want to get them somewhere safe, we all do, it’s just… you know, we gotta _keep_ safe, in order to survive and make it to long-term safety.” She tried to smile reassuringly at him, and then added, “I mean, there’s no ‘we told you so’, here-“

Daryl snorted, and she was surprised to see a smile on Rick’s lips, too. “Okay, so maybe Daryl wants to say I told you so a _little_...” Beth was amused to feel herself smiling faintly, too.

“He’d have every right.” Rick sighed again and ran his hand through his hair. “We used to be so much better at being careful, you know? Back at the prison... Shit, I know it all went bad anyway, but that isn’t an excuse to just stop trying to be safe.”

“No,” Beth murmured, “It isn’t.” Beside her, Daryl nodded. 

“I guess what I’m trying to say, besides sorry, is that we should follow your plan, Daryl.” Rick rested both arms on the table and looked firmly across them at the other man. “Should’ve followed it from the start, but I can’t change that now. What do you say? You in?”

Daryl hesitated only a moment, but when Beth leaned gently into him, she felt him relax faintly and reply, “Yeah, I’m in.” 

With relief on his face, Rick nodded, and the tension between them all eased. Beth was glad. She knew it could have gone differently, heck, she wouldn’t have blamed Daryl if he’d gone off on Rick, yelling at him for almost getting them all killed. A part of her almost wanted to yell at him herself, but that wasn’t going to solve anything, she knew that. Fighting now would only tear them apart worse, wouldn’t help them stay alive. 

The plan accepted, or at least agreed upon, Rick reached into his back pocket and pulled out a map. “I was thinkin’ we could look this over, come up with some routes you think we should take instead, though the mountains like you said. Figure out what general way you wanna go.” He glanced up and Beth was surprised to see him look from Daryl to her before added, “If you’re both up for it?” 

Beth was undeniably pleased to be included, even smiled faintly back at him, but after a second she said, “Thank you, but I think this is Daryl’s expertise. Besides, I wanna go check on Sasha and Father Gabriel, and Eugene too just in case... if you boys don’t mind?”

She spoke to both of them but her eyes were on Daryl, and Beth only moved when he gave her a slow nod. It was all she could do to resist the sudden urge to kiss his temple, because as much as she wanted to, she was fully aware of Rick right there watching. Instead she settled for squeezing his shoulder as she rose to her feet, her fingers lingering there for a moment before reluctantly pulling away.

“Beth-” Rick’s voice cut into the silence, and Beth turned to look at him. “Thank you for that, too. Taking care of Sasha, and Gabriel. Dunno what we’d do without your help, and Noah and Ivy’s, too. Without Bob and your... well, we don’t have anyone with medical training anymore, you know, so I’m grateful. We all are.”

Her head ducked under his compliment, and she scuffed her foot on the ground with eerie similarity to a gesture Daryl often made. “Well, I don’t know much, just what I picked up from Daddy, and at the hospital.” 

“Don’t sell yourself short,” Daryl murmured, his rough voice cutting through her doubt as his hand briefly curled around her wrist and gently squeezed. “You did good work, Beth. Rick is right.”

Her words were for Rick, but her eyes were all for Daryl again as she murmured softly, “Thank you.” 

*** 

Leaving Rick and Daryl to make their plans in the kitchen, Beth made her own rounds through the living room. Her time outside with Daryl had strengthened her enough that she felt able to focus and breath and not give in to any anxiety, despite the number of people and the enclosed space. Any time she got to nervous, she’d look to the kitchen and there he’d be, somehow knowing just when to look back at her and give her that reassuring gaze. 

Her first stop was to check on Sasha. Packing the wound had stopped the bleeding, and allowed Beth to clean it up a bit more. Thankfully they’d split their supplies enough that while they’d lost most of their medical supplies, they still had some. Enough, for now anyway. They’d need to find more, soon. With Tyreese’s help, she managed to stitch up Sasha’s wound; it wasn’t the cleanest best stitching, but it would do the job. As she bandaged it up again, she touched the small bandage on her head and joked to the woman, “Now we match! Official members of the bullet wound graze club, hm? You, me, and Daryl.” The laugh she got from Sasha had gone a long way towards making her feel less worried about the woman, who was a part of her family even if they weren’t especially close.

Father Gabriel was a lot worse off. The bullet had gone through his leg, and Beth was worried it had hit a bone, or at the very least torn some muscles. She had no way of knowing, though. The first step had been to get the bleeding to stop, and thankfully the elevated leg and pressure wrap of bandages had helped with that. Now she pulled the wrappings clean, and got to work cleaning the wound. 

“Ivy, can you hand me a bottle of water?” She took it from the woman with thanks, and then punctured a hole in it with her clean and sterilized needle. “My Daddy actually taught me this,” she said to Father Gabriel, trying to distract him with her voice as she worked. “Once we were out checking the cattle on the farm, and one of them had gotten their leg cut open. He didn’t have his kit with him, but we had a bottle of water. So he popped a hole in it, and-” She squeezed, and a firm stream of fluid came out, spraying into his wound. “See? This is the best way to clean it that we have, anyway. And we gotta keep it clean, if we can, to avoid infection.” 

At least he seemed to moan and twitch less when she was talking, which was a plus, because she was starting to notice he tended to moan a _lot_. Beth wasn’t the type to judge, especially not a preacher, but it was admittedly a tiny bit frustrating. 

Next to her, Ivy asked, “You going to stitch it, like with Sasha?”

Beth shook her head. “No, not an open wound like this. Need to keep it open, let it drain. If it’s infected and we stitch it shut, it’ll just make it worse. We just have to keep it wrapped, and change it daily if we can...” She sighed, but tried to give the Father a reassuring smile. “The rest is just a matter of hoping and praying, I guess.” They wouldn’t know if any damage had been done until it had more time to heal and really, all they could do was hope. 

With Ivy’s help, Beth got his leg wrapped and then rose to her feet, trying to find Eugene and check on him, just in case. She only got two steps away though, before she heard Ivy’s soft voice calling to her. “Beth?” 

Turning slowly, her eyes settled on the thin girl standing behind her. Ivy’s shoulders were hunched a bit, and she looked hesitant and unsure, but Beth saw a flash of hope and admiration in her eyes as she said, “Today, when everything was going down... I was so scared, you know? I don’t know how to shoot or use a knife, even if I had one. But you were so brave, and _strong_ and I just- I wanna be like that. I don’t wanna be a victim anymore, you know?”

Beth’s expression softened, and she took a step towards the other young woman. She felt guilty, suddenly, for not reaching out to Ivy sooner. She’d been caught up in her own problems, of course, and there was nothing wrong with that, but she should have remembered to check in with the people who had gotten out of a situation just as awful as hers. “You never have to be a victim if you don’t wanna be, Ivy.” She looked into the woman’s eyes, her voice firm, “You can be strong if you want. I promise.”

“Will you show me? How to... How to use a knife, or a gun, how to defend myself?”

There wasn’t even any hesitation. “Of course I will. I’ll show you anything you wanna learn, okay? And I know just the guy to help us.” A smile crossed her lips. “He’s gruff, and maybe a little scary when you first meet him, but he taught me everything I knew, and I promise together we’ll make sure you feel as strong as possible. Okay?”

“Okay.” Ivy’s gaze flicked to Daryl in the kitchen, and an unexpected smile flickered across her lips. “You’re lucky, you know. He cares about you a lot. And he’s _cute_.”

Beth glanced over her shoulder and she couldn’t help it; when her eyes met Daryl’s, she just giggled. “Yeah,” she replied, feeling suddenly five years younger as she turned back to Ivy, “Yeah, he is definitely is.” And she did feel very, very lucky.

*** 

Once she’d gotten done checking on Eugene, Beth had made another detour to feed Judith, who seemed to have sensed all the tension and wouldn’t stop fussing. By the time the baby had been burped and started to fall asleep, now safely in Carl’s arms, Beth was starting to feel overwhelmed again. It was like she was a pot of water, set to simmering on the stove, and each interaction, each minute spent surrounded by people, made the flame hotter and hotter, until she was set to boil over. 

When she felt that point coming, she knew just where to go. She got close to the kitchen as Rick was folding up the map, but stopped short when she heard her name from inside. Feeling both curious and a little guilty, Beth found herself pressing to the wall right beside the door, trying to look relaxed as she listened in.

“She gonna be all right?” Rick’s voice mingled with the rustling of paper as he folded the map.

“Course she is,” Daryl said lowly. “She’s strong.” 

“And the two of you...”

Silence. 

“Look, I ain’t prying. An’ I ain’t gonna lecture, either. Just couldn’t help hearing...”

“What?” The low tone of Daryl’s voice, more a grunt almost than a word, had Beth’s brow furrowing. 

But Rick’s voice almost sounded like he was smiling, or _teasing_ , as he asked, “ _Your_ girl?”

Beth heard the squeak of a chair against the floor, and then another grunt from Daryl. “Dunno what you mean.” 

“If you say so, Daryl. Like I said, I ain’t prying.”

“Seems like pryin’ to me.” 

Rick laughed, and Beth heard his chair get pushed back as he climbed to his feet. “Maybe just a bit. I’m just saying, I’m not the only one that heard.” 

Pushing off the wall, Beth moved to interrupt, figuring Daryl must have been flustered and embarrassed by now, and needing an interruption, but right as she stepped through the doorway he replied lowly, “Whatever you heard... Look, I was out of it, ‘kay? I don’t even know what it means. So just, stop your prying.” 

Unexpectedly caught off guard, but already too far inside to turn back, Beth stumbled through the open doorway and came to an awkward stop. “I’m- Oh lord, I’m sorry. I’ll just- I wasn’t-”

She spun around, but before she could leave Daryl was up and behind her, his hand reaching out to just graze her back before he pulled it away. “Beth...” His voice was so soft it was almost a whisper, but she could hear the myriad of emotions contained within it. Confusion, worry, affection. She knew in her heart that what he’d said hadn’t been meant to hurt her, knew that it wasn’t in him yet to understand things like what was between them, but it still stung a little bit.

“I’ll leave you two to the kitchen,” Rick said easily as he slid past them. Looking down at her with a reassuring smile, he added, “Daryl made a deal with me, called the kitchen for tonight, so you can have a little space to sleep. I hope that helps.”

Beth just nodded, offering him a slight little smile before she looked back at the ground. She’d stopped halfway turned to Daryl, unsure of what to say or do, even as Rick left. Part of her wanted to reassure him that it was okay, that he didn’t need to understand what was between them right now, that she wasn’t even sure she fully did, either. Another part of her wanted to just completely ignore what she’d overheard, shove it away, not risk goading him into saying something that could make it worse. The last thing she wanted was to push him into saying he felt nothing for her at all.

“Beth...” 

At the soft sound of his voice, she spurred into action, grabbing some blankets from the archway and moving them near the corner of the kitchen cabinets. “We can make a nice bed right here, for tonight. Give us a view of the whole room so we’ll feel safe.” She crouched down on her knees and laid out their sleeping bag to make a mattress, smoothing it out a little more than necessary,

“Beth...” She could hear him stepping closer behind her, but she didn’t dare look. She reached for his crossbow and set it on the ground where she knew he’d want it close by.

“Ivy came up to me, a little while ago. She wants to learn how to defend herself. I told her that I’d help her, that you would too. I thought we could teach her how to use a knife first, and then maybe a gun...”

“Beth.” He dropped to her knees beside her now, his hand hovering above her shoulder as if he wanted to reach for her but was afraid she’d push him away, and lord, the idea of him thinking she didn’t want his touch was too much.

“It’s okay,” she murmured, turning to look at him, sliding her hand up the side of his uninjured arm. “It’s okay. I know... I know you were out of it, back by the truck. Blood loss, and adrenaline, and-”

“ _Beth_.” His hand slid up to cup her face, and she shivered with relief at his touch.

“Daryl, please. It’s okay. I told you, before... Back when we were stuck in that town... We don’t have to put it into words, whatever this is. It’s enough for me, to just feel it, with you. It’s okay, I mean, if you don’t know what you feel, or you decide to don’t feel anythin’ at all...”

His chuckle caught her entirely off guard and finally startled her into looking right into his eyes, and what she saw there was enough to make her stomach swoop and dip and soar. “Beth Greene,” he said softly, his thumb brushing over her lower lip. “Just cause I don’t know what it means, don’t mean I ain’t feelin’ nothin’ for you.” 

Her breathing hitched as she looked into his eyes, drinking in everything she saw there and feeling it warm her from her head right down to her toes. It wasn’t just the look in his eyes, but the fact that despite his inability to name it, to describe it, he’d just admitted for the first time out loud that he _did_ feel something. For her. Daryl Dixon felt something for her, little Beth Greene, and the only logical reply that she could think of to that was to breathe out, “ _Oh_.”

Daryl chuckled again, and murmured lowly, “I always know I’ve said the right thing when that’s the only word y’ can get out.” 

Beth’s cheeks flushed, but before she could say anything back, tease him, scold him, anything, he was leaning in and pressing his lips softly to hers. It was the first kiss he’d initiated since the first time, and it was simultaneously just as good and a hundred times better. Like the first kiss, it was a reminder of what lay between them, growing stronger every day, resisting any attempts to pin it down and name it, but nonetheless undeniably _there_.

When he pulled back to look in her eyes again, Beth was just faintly panting for breath, and she was surprised to see a briefly pleased expression on Daryl’s face before it faded into his usual shy, somewhat awkward expression. Just like that, she eased into control again, reassured by how he’d reassured _her_ , in his own way. “Okay,” she said softly, pressing a kiss to his cheek before nudging him towards their makeshift bed for the night. “C’mon. You need to get some sleep and start healing, okay? Doctor’s orders.”

He chuckled as he lay back. “Yes, Doctor Greene.” But as soon as he was settled he held open his arm for her, and she didn’t hesitate to tuck herself right against his uninjured side. Cheek on his chest, arm slung over his belly, Beth breathed out a sigh and relaxed against him as he drew the blanket up over them. 

In the rooms beyond, the sound of chatter settled and the candles were blown out, as everyone but the first round of watch got ready to get some sleep. In the darkness and intimate privacy in their own little corner, Beth drew up all her courage and asked in a whisper, “Daryl? Whatever we feel about each other, whatever this is... It’s real, right?” 

He shifted underneath her, and his hand brushed lightly down her back, quiet for a long moment before he replied, “Yeah.” She felt him turn towards her, his lips grazing her temple as he admitted in a near-whisper, “Scares the shit out of me, a bit, but it’s real, Greene.” 

“That’s okay, if you’re scared. So am I, a little.” She smiled as her eyes fluttered shut and her cheek pressed back to his warm chest. “We can be scared together.” 

Into the silence she heard him whisper back, “ _Deal_.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Look! Relationship progress! I know some of you maybe want them to move faster, but Daryl and Beth are just destined to be a slow burn, friends. It's just who they are! But this is definitely progress for them, and I hope you enjoyed it, even if they're still not at the "put a label on it" stage. Hopefully I got Rick's voice right, too, he makes me nervous.
> 
> (And I feel the need to add that don't worry, I haven't forgot about Maggie and Beth's drama. It is just VERY HARD balancing a large group rotating around them, so everyone sort of has to take their turns, haha.)


	16. Cataloging Her Smiles

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Daryl's new hobby is collecting and cataloging every one of Beth's smiles.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Firstly, I am sorry for there being no chapter yesterday. I have been a bit burnt out from work and pushing myself to post a chapter every day, and I just ended up needing a night off. I hope this chapter makes up for it. It's a bit of a breather from the action, and filled with the moments I know you guys love. Hopefully it doesn't disappoint! 
> 
> (Also, the location featured in here is inspired by a real house that belongs to my favorite Aunt and Uncle, down in GA, which I always thought would be a great zombie apocalypse retreat. As such, you get pictures!)

They had stayed at the little house for a few days, until their injured were stable enough to move with them. None of them were healed enough to really be on the move long term, but it wasn’t safe staying in a house that was basically just down the highway from the group that had injured them. Daryl was pretty sure that group of women was more concerned with keeping safe than with revenge, but you never knew, and he wasn’t gonna risk anyone coming after them.

The plan- his plan, really- was to drive up North, into the Chattahochee National Forest. Daryl knew they could find cabins up there, out of the way and safer, with plenty of room and space for their people to heal, before they started the long trip up north through the mountains to Virginia. Before leaving, he, Beth, Michonne and Rick had hiked up the road to check the other houses around where they’d been staying, managing to come back with a few meager supplies but also a third car. It wasn’t the van, but it was enough that they could spread people out a bit more and not have them all crammed into the back of the truck.

Since Daryl was not only navigating but also in charge of scouting, he and Beth had the lead in the truck again. They weren’t alone this time; Beth had invited Ivy and Noah to join them, though the two had opted to sit in the back of the truck rather than squeeze into the cab. Daryl had figured Beth invited them because she had been growing closer to the two of them lately as they helped train both the former hospital residents to defend themselves, but there was something about the way she watched the two together that made him think she had something else in mind. Or at least the hope for something else.

Even now she was watching them in the rear view mirror, a little smile on her lips as Noah apparently said something that made Ivy laugh. When Daryl glanced over at Beth and raised an eyebrow, she flushed and darted her gaze away with a little laugh. It wasn’t like he was gonna scold her. Anything that put a smile on her lips was generally good in his book. Especially these days, when he was always aware of her smiling.

See, Daryl Dixon had developed a new hobby, of sorts; collecting and cataloging Beth Greene’s smiles. It’d started with him just watching her. He almost always had her in his line of sight, or close. He watched her to be sure she was okay, to always know if she needed something, to catch any sign of trouble in her eyes... And, eventually, he’d begun to notice more. Like the fact that she was smiling more and more lately and that. although it wasn’t always the case, her smiles seemed to come out the most when she was looking at him. He had found himself trying to name each smile, to categorize it, to file it away in his mind, and before he knew it, it’d become a hobby.

There was the soft little ‘I see you’ smile she gave him sometimes, when she was across the room and their eyes met. There was the hazy ‘good morning’ smile she gave him in the morning when she’d wake up and lift herself up from his chest just enough to smile down at him. There was also this shy smile she gave him sometimes, where she’d duck her head and blush a little. It’d taken him awhile to figure out what brought that smile on; it hadn’t been till just a day or so ago that he’d sussed it out. He’d been out behind the house, trying to see if he could draw his crossbow without hurting his arm. As his arms strained to pull back, he’d looked up and seen her watching him. When their eyes had met, she’d done _that_ smile, all flushed cheeks and averted eyes, and he knew. He’d known in a moment what that smile meant. _That_ was the smile Beth Greene got when she’d been admiring him. It was the sort of smile he never would have expected to see on anyone, let along Beth, but despite his worries that he wasn’t worthy of it, he still kinda liked it. Hell, the truth was he really liked it, though he’d never have admitted it out loud.

It wasn’t his favorite smile, though. No, his favorite was the one he’d only gotten to see it a few times now, one he relished every time in part because of the rarity. That was the smile she gave right after they kissed. Her eyes would be just a slightly darker blue, her lips would be just a little swollen, and they’d part with a breathy little sound before curving up into that slow, just-been-kissed smile. Yeah. He liked that smile a lot.

(He kinda wanted to see that one more. Only whenever he thought about it too much, whenever he remembered the warmth of her lips and the little sounds she made, he got all awkward and unsure, and the voices in his head began to kick up all his doubts again.)

It was like he had two warring voices inside of him. One was his own (or rather, a mix of Merle’s and his Dad’s), telling him that no dirty redneck like him was good enough to be kissing a sweet, clean girl like Beth. Tellin’ him that a guy like him didn’t deserve someone like her, didn’t deserve to put his dirty hands on her, let alone kiss her. Tellin’ him that all he’d do was hurt her somehow, and if he knew one thing it was that he never wanted to see Beth Greene hurt.

But lately, there’d been a new voice in his head. Softer and gentler and like none of the thoughts he’d had echoing through his mind for his whole love. Cause ever since the first time he’d kissed Beth, standing in that little post master’s office, her voice had taken up residence in his mind. Beth’s voice never said anything cruel or hurtful. Beth’s voice whispered things like how she trusted him, how she believed in him. Beth’s voice told him she thought he was a good man. Beth’s voice reminded him of how he was the only person she was okay being held by, the one person who could keep her nightmares at bay.

(Beth’s voice also pointed out once, softly, that many of the smiles he saw on her lips never appeared when she looked at anyone else. He had tried to squelch that thought, that whisper, but not before he’d had just a moment to consider that maybe Beth had certain smiles that were only for him.) 

“Daryl...” Her voice cut unexpectedly into his thoughts, reminding him that he was on the road and driving and she was right there beside him. Daryl looked up sharply and she was smiling at him again, amused and a little playful. “You okay over there? Spacing out a bit.”

“M’fine. Watching the road.” Which he was. Sort of.

“Okay.” She said it easily, but he could tell from the amused sound of her voice that she knew otherwise. She always knew him, and he was discovering that he didn’t much mind that. Not like he would with anyone else. Because when Beth figured something out about him, she didn’t try and pry or use it against him. She just knew, and that was it.

Daryl tried to focus on the road ahead. Unable to go back through Cornelia for obvious reasons, they had split from Lula, heading up past Claremont and Cleveland, headed towards the Chattahoochee National Forest. The closer they got, the more Daryl felt that sense of rightness filling his bones, the one that told him this was right and good, the correct choice to make. It was the way he felt when hunting, when he got onto the trail and new he was following it right to his prey. 

(It was also the same way he felt sometimes when Beth was close to him, or when she held his gaze even from across a distance.)

“Just about to enter Chattahoochee,” he remarked after a moment, glancing over at her, pleased to see a smile on her lips.

“I can’t wait,” Beth replied with a little sigh.

He raised an eyebrow at her, curious as to why.

“I just... I’ve missed it, I dunno. The air is better, and it’s so open.” He kept glancing between her and the road, and he saw a faint furrow in her brow before a little shy smile crossed her lips. “Plus, some of my best memories since the world went like this are from being out in the woods.”

“Yeah?”

Her laughter made him feel all nice and warm inside. “Don’t act like you don’t know what I’m talking about, Daryl.”

Of course he knew. Cause it was the same for him. Most of his favorite memories were out in the woods, but the brightest of those involved the girl right at his side. After a long moment, Daryl glanced at her from the corner of his eye, and said lightly, “Y’know what I’m thinkin’ I’ll do, once we get to the woods?”

“What?”

“Catch us a nice snake, roast it for dinner.”

“Daryl!” Her giggles filled the cab of the car, and when he looked at her, she was giving him a big, brilliant, grin that he filed away instantly in his memory as the way Beth Greene smiled when she was just plain happy. 

It was hard to compete with the way she smiled when he kissed her, but if anything could come close to beating that smile out, it was this one. 

*** 

Though they reached the forest by early afternoon, Daryl didn’t slow. Weren’t no point in just stopping at the first house they found right at the edge, that wouldn’t be much safer than just staying out by the road. So they drove deeper into the forest, leading the line of cars through the narrow, winding road, until the elevation began to rise bit by bit. Daryl followed his instincts, the same ones that had guided him to game in the forest, or helped him to find a new place to raid on a run, or some place for him and Beth to stay at night when it had just been them.

When he coasted to a stop by a small road that branched upwards, Beth didn’t even ask him why they were stopping. She knew how his instincts worked, and she was ready for whatever he had planned. 

(There had been a time when she would question, all ‘where are we going’ or ‘what are you doing’. He remembered the first time she hadn’t asked. He’d actually grown so much to expect it that he’d slowed and looked back over his shoulder at her, wondering why she wasn’t asking him why he’d veered off onto this little path. She’d just looked up at him and smiled a soft smile and replied to his silent question: “Wherever we’re going, I’ll follow your lead.”)

With his crossbow slung over his back, Daryl slid out of the truck, and Beth was right behind him on the other side. Ivy and Noah seemed content to stay in the back of the truck for now, and the others pulled to a stop and began to climb out and stretch their legs, Daryl took a moment just to watch Beth’s little routine. She slung her crossbow over her back in a motion eerily similar to him (a new addition to her apparent mental-checklist), tucked her gun into the small of her back, patted the knife in the sheath at her waist, adjusted the bracelets and strap of fabric at her wrist, and finally, ran her fingers back to smooth over her ponytail.

When she looked up at him, he caught her eyes and felt a fond smile tug at the corners of his lips. He was always cataloging _her_ smiles, but he couldn’t fail to notice that she pulled more gentle smiles out of him than anyone had before.

“You find a place for us to stop?” Rick’s voice cut through his thoughts as the man strode towards him from the second car. To be honest, a part of Daryl was still angry at Rick and the risk he’d put their family in. A couple years ago, Daryl wouldn’t have hesitated to just beat the crap out of Rick for how stupid he’d been. Hell, a couple years ago Daryl had just about always been ready to jump the gun and punch someone for any little thing. He’d changed. He knew that. If he thought about it, he knew that it had begun the day he’d joined this group.

But it had been Beth who had taken that little spark and fed it, burning up his past and helping him rise from the ashes.

“Not yet. Beth and I are gonna head up this little road here and scout, see if we can’t find us a place. Know roads like this. Different forest, but some things are the same. Bound to split off into some smaller driveways, lead right up to some houses. Should be a good one. Don’t wanna drive the cars up there though, until we’re sure. Hard to turn around on these roads, too damn small. Don’t wanna get stuck.” 

“Alright.” Rick nodded and looked them over. “We’ll wait here. You want anyone else to go with you?”

“Nah. Got Beth. We’re good.” He didn’t need anyone else, was what he wanted to say. He didn’t, but one glance at the blonde beside him and the little smile on her lips, and he knew she understood. (Because that smile, right there, soft and knowing, was her ‘I understand you Daryl Dixon’ smile.) 

“Stay by the cars,” Daryl said with a nod. “Should be safe. Ain’t many walkers up here, but it ain’t never hurt to be careful. We ain’t back in an hour, then you can worry.” 

After Rick clasped him on the arm and Daryl nodded back, he and Beth turned and made their way up the dirt road. Soon they had left the group behind them, and all he could hear was the chirping of birds and the faint crunch of gravel underfoot. He was doing his best to pay attention to their surroundings, but it was hard not to watch her, too. As soon as the group was behind them, she seemed to relax the way she always did when it was just the two of them. The tension eased from her body, she tipped her head back and breathed in deep, and a soft smile crossed her lips again as she glanced over at him and joked, “See any snakes? Don’t forget, you promised me dinner!” 

He snorted, and found himself shifting a little closer to her, so their arms brushed as they walked. They stayed in content quiet like that for a few minutes as they hiked up the long road, mostly just passing trees, endless green interrupted every once in a while by a gash in the dirt that revealed the red clay often found up around these parts.

“Wanna know a secret?” Her voice cut into the silence as it always did, and Daryl didn’t mind. There had been a time when he had craved the peace and quiet of the woods. Until Beth, chattering away at him almost constantly. It had been annoying at first, those days when they’d first escaped the prison, but when she had been gone he had missed the sound of her voice somethin’ fierce. (He had missed _her_ somethin’ fierce.) He nodded after a moment, and she went on, “A part of me wishes it could just be like this. That we could just... Keep walking. You and me, just walking up into the mountains together and never looking back. Just the two of us, the way it was before. Peaceful and... right.”

Surprised as he was to hear _her_ say that, he realized after a moment that a part of him wanted that too. He looked over at her, and he could imagine how easy and good that would be. He could imagine the two of them making the woods theirs, living off tracking and hunting, maybe even finding a place to stay in and make their home as long as they could. He didn’t say any of that, of course, but he gave he a slow nod that he knew she understood, cause she just gave him that sweet soft ‘I understand you’ smile right back, before she breathed out, “But we’d never, not really. We wouldn’t leave our family. No matter what.” 

Daryl knew that was right, too. It didn’t matter what had happened in the past, it didn’t even matter that their group hadn’t given Beth the same fierce loyalty that she gave to them. She was just _so good_. 

_Too good for the likes of you_ , whispered a nasty little voice in the back of his mind. It was only allowed one second of impact before he heard the echoes of Beth’s words in his mind: ‘ _We_ wouldn’t leave our family.’

 _We_.

Lord did he like it when she said ‘we’. Cause he knew it meant that in her mind he was just as good a person as she was, and it made it easier to believe himself. Easier to set that goodness she seemed to see in him against the opinions he’d always had of himself, against the dark and nasty voices.

She was giving him another soft smile, and it just made him think of his favorite smile, the one that curved up those lips after he’d kissed her. Every kiss they’d had so far had been soft and short and sweet. Every one of them was perfect of course, but Daryl couldn’t help thinking about what it might be like to kiss her a little longer, to feel her lips parting against his. The thing was, he couldn’t remember ever wanting to kiss someone like he did Beth.

He’d been kissed before; Merle had made sure of that. But it had always been when he’d had a couple drinks, usually at some bar, Merle convincing some half-drunk girl to lay one on him. He’d never really done the kissing, except once or twice and then only because Merle was calling him Darylina and questioning whether he even liked girls at all.

This was different. He looked at Beth and she was so sweet and beautiful, and despite that niggling sense that she was _too_ sweet for him, he just kept thinking about the way she smiled after he kissed her and how badly he wanted to see that again. 

Daryl wasn’t aware of how intently he was watching her as they walked slowly up the dirt road. Sometimes he’d remember to keep an eye on the trees around them, or study the road ahead to see if it was gonna break off soon into smaller driveways, the way he expected. But without fail his gaze would always return to her to study the way the sun fell on her hair, or how blue her eyes were, or the way the corners of her lips were just faintly upturned.

“Hey.” She looked over at him and stepped close enough to bump her arm against. “You enjoying the view, Mr. Dixon? Cause it seems like you sure are...” 

Maybe she’d expected him to just snort at her, or grunt. Cause when he looked over at her and gruffly murmured, “Best view I’ve ever seen,” he actually saw surprise flash through her eyes, and then to his fascination, a pink flush stole across her cheeks. That was a sight he wanted to commit to his memory, and he took a moment to just drink it in as they came finally to a fork in the dirt and gravel road where it split into three separate driveways.

Trying to focus on something other than how Beth Greene looked when she blushed, Daryl gestured to the split in the road. “Which one?” It was a test for her, like he often gave. Beth was getting better and better at passing his tests.

He watched her step up closer and examine each split in the road, with that faint furrow in her brow she got when she was thinking. Pointing to the far right one, she said, “Well that one looks like it goes down, so maybe we should skip it? We wanna get up higher if we can, right? More elevation, less walkers…” 

Daryl nodded, a hint of a pleased expression in his eyes as he angled himself towards the other two splits, and raised an eyebrow in silent question.

This time she got closer, peering up each road where they stretched into the trees, and then down at the dirt and gravel paths themselves. He knew what he saw, marring one of the paths, but he wondered if she saw it, too. Daryl was patient though. He didn’t move forward, didn’t help, and sure enough after a few moments she said, “The middle one… there’s some tracks going up it.” She darted a glance back at him. “Walkers, maybe?” He nodded. “This one to the left doesn’t have any tracks that I can see, plus it looks like it goes up more sharply, somewhere higher, so… so I vote this way?”

Closing the distance between them, he reached up and tugged lightly on her little braid. “Don’t have to end everythin’ like a question, y’know. You did good, Beth.” 

There was another smile. Slow and radiant, lighting up her eyes, always coming with a little upwards tilt of her head. It was the smile Beth gave when he complimented her and she was proud and pleased at the same time. His hand dropped to her shoulder and squeezed, and for a moment their eyes met and held. Blue against brilliant blue, a flash of warmth and heat curling low in his belly and making his breath catch for just a moment. He had to turn his head away, because it was hard to focus all the sudden, but he knew that there was a faint little smile tugging at the corner of his lips, and he knew she could see it. 

That had been happening a lot, the last couple days. Ever since that night in the kitchen, after the shoot-out, when he’d told her for the first time out loud that he had feelings for her, when he’d confirmed in the darkness that they were real. Ever since then, he’d been feeling like this, having these moments where their eyes met and he forgot everything else but her and her smiles and the warmth inside him.

(It was like she’d taken some of her sunshine and placed it gently inside of him, and every time he looked at her, the bit of sunshine in him bloomed a little brighter in reply, and filmed him up with it’s warmth.)

“C’mon,” he said lowly, his voice a bit rough at the sight of the pleased, playful smile on her lips. (He knew that one, too. That was her ‘I know you feel it too’ smile. _That_ smile was going to drive him nuts, one of these days, cause it always looked like a hint of a challenge that he didn’t fully wanna back down from.) 

Side by side they made their way slowly up the driveway, until it rounded a corner. Up ahead, a [weeping willow](http://oi62.tinypic.com/97moi8.jpg) hung into the path, its branches just gently brushing the gravel road. He saw Beth’s eyes linger on it for a moment, but then she pointed ahead in unexpected excitement. “Look! A garden, Daryl!” 

Sure enough, just beyond the willow and tucked into a little clearing surrounded by wood, was a [good-sized garden](http://oi58.tinypic.com/30hvgpu.jpg). Not some suburban excuse for a garden, but the kind people in houses up like this would have had, if they wanted to keep themselves fed on mostly their own food. After two years, most of it seemed to have overgrown itself, but the thing about plants were they didn’t really need people to keep growing. Just from here he could see tomatoes, lettuce, cucumbers, squash and more, all in varying stages of ripeness. Beside him, Beth was poised as if to dive right in, but he nudged his arm against hers and said, “Gotta check the place out first. Don’t wanna get surprised by walkers while we’ve got our arms full of tomatoes.” 

The mention image surprised a little giggle from Beth, but then she grew more serious and settled her crossbow into her arms with a nod. 

“Good,” he complimented her, before nodding ahead. The little driveway went up a small hill, trees on either side. They only got halfway up the small incline before they got their [first view of the house](http://oi59.tinypic.com/jrp3jd.jpg). The driveway continued on, up the sharp incline of a hill, on top of which sat a [small, neat wooden house](http://oi60.tinypic.com/sngdu1.jpg). Daryl only had to take one look at it to know it had been built by hand, with care. It looked nothing like the prepackaged cabins you found sometimes up in the woods, built by rich idiots with no idea what a real cabin should be like. The hill stretched down in front of the house to a small pond with its own little dock, and the hill itself was covered in what looked like bushes, and a very small trees. 

Beth pointed, and at the same time they both said, “Berries!” His gaze met hers, and Daryl gave a soft chuckle before nodding. “Looks like blackberries, maybe some raspberries, too. And those trees past them?”

“Apples,” Beth said with a faint, pleased smile. 

He led the way slowly up the gravel driveway. To their left it was all trees, the same forest which surrounded the entire property, as if the former owners had cut down just enough to fit themselves into a rough little oval, and kept the rest. Something that would have been just peaceful back then would also serve them well now. The forest surrounding the property was perfect for stringing up alarms, patrolling, even building a fence if anyone decided to stay here for a while. 

Glancing to his right, Daryl was surprised to see movement under the surface of the pond. He grunted, and when Beth followed his stare he said, “Fish. Looks like they kept it stocked.” 

He didn’t fail to notice her breathy exhaled reply, “ _Fish_.” He knew what she was thinking. It’d been a long time since they’d all had fish to eat. That combined with the berry bushes and the garden behind them were all good signs, but Daryl knew better than to get their hopes too high. That wasn’t to say he didn’t have a little hope. These days, thanks to Beth, he always had a little.

They strode up the driveway at a careful pace, Daryl keeping his eye on the forest to their left. He heard something burbling a short distance away through the trees, a sound he was well familiar with, and as they reached the top of the sharp hill, he came to a stop. “Hey.” He gripped Beth’s arm gently and tugged her to face the woods. “Tell me what you hear?”

Instantly he could see her face shift as he began to focus, and rather than studying the woods, Daryl studied her face. He was coming to realize how much he enjoyed seeing her like this, concentrating, focusing, learning to listen to the woods and read them the same way he did. It struck him that it was like watching her learn to enjoy the same things he did, and he just _liked_ that more than he might have expected.

“Kind of like… I dunno how to explain it. Like this soft shushing sound, but not wind?” She looked up at him, curious and questioning, and he felt a faint smile cross his lips briefly.

“S’water,” he said softly, nodding into the woods. “Water over rocks. Listen again, remember how it sounds. There’s a brook, maybe a stream, just into the woods a bit, if I ain’t mistaken. Probably where they got their water from.”

“That’s good, right?” When he nodded, Beth went on. “There’s a lot of good stuff here. I hope…” She trailed off and shook her head, but Daryl found he knew what she was thinking, without her needing to say it. She hoped the whole place could be good. That maybe they could stay, even for a bit. Was this how she felt sometimes with him, easily translating his grunts and nods and silences?

He leaned into her for just a moment in agreement, and then nodded up where the driveway curved around the house. “C’mon. Let’s check this place out.” 

The driveway extended [around the back of the house](http://oi62.tinypic.com/2s9u0ie.jpg), allowing them to get a good look at it. From what he could tell, it had been built right up against the hill, in two floors. The upper floor had a porch that wrapped almost all the way around it, creating a perfect walkway and vantage point to look out over the property, from what he could tell from down here, anyway. 

They took their time scoping out the entire outside, finding the three entrances into the home. One was on the ground floor, under an overhang that looked like it had once protected cars from the rain, and the other two were on the top floor; one on the back, with a walkway leading up to it that bridged over a small drop to meet the gap between the top floor and the hill the house had been built against. He liked that. If it ever came to it, they could cut that walkway down and walkers wouldn’t be able to get to them that way. 

Intent on not putting either of them at risk, Daryl lead the way across that walkway and onto the little wrap-around porch, leading them around the back of the house and peering into windows as they went. He saw no walkers at the moment, which was reassuring if not a guarantee. They reached the side of the house, where the porch widened to feature a [gazebo](http://oi62.tinypic.com/4vk1nd.jpg), to the right of which was a side door into what seemed to be the kitchen at first glance through the door. At the moment he was more focused on the view from this side, looking right down the hill over the driveway and pond. 

“It’s a good lookout spot,” Beth remarked, her thoughts apparently matching his. “Can see just about everything from here. Put someone here, and someone over on the other side, and we could cover the whole area really.”

His only reply was a nod, because really, she’d said it all. She was getting so damn good at this, and looking at her right now he felt a fierce pride that only fueled the other thoughts that had been circling in his mind all day. For just a brief moment he remembered that smile again, the one she had when he kissed her… but he caught sight of the door behind her, to the unexplored house, and shoved those thoughts away fast.

“C’mon,” he said again, the gruffness of his voice in contrast to the way his hand slid briefly down her arm. “Let’s clear this place, okay?”

She smiled and steadied her bow, but took a moment to point to the plants all around them and add, “Should take a look at these later, too. Some of ‘em are herbs. Might be useful.” She pointed to some with little white flowers, and added, “That one is yarrow, I think. It’s good for fevers, or so Daddy used to say.” 

Their routine was solid as always, and after the usual knock-and-wait-and-open, they were slipping slowly in through the side door. The room he’d seen through the glass turned out to be a large open space, both kitchen, living room, and dining area combined. Holding his knife (he didn’t want to risk pulling open his stitched wound by drawing his bow), Daryl swept the room with Beth at his side. 

“Doesn’t even look like anyone has looted here at all,” Beth murmured softly. She was in the kitchen, running her finger over a counter-top and coming up with dust. 

“Up here in the mountains, s’good chance no one has even been up here t’find it.” Daryl swept through the living room, where a large picture window looked out down the hill and over the pond as well, another good viewpoint. “S’why I wanted to come here in the first place.”

“I know.” Beth flashed him another ‘I understand you’ smile that had him briefly chuckling as he moved to the two doors opposite the kitchen. A long hallway stretched down past them, he assumed to the rest of the house, but he wanted to go systematically. The first door he pulled open revealed stairs leading down to the bottom floor. Daryl crouched, peering into the darkness, feeling cold air rising. “My bet is the downstairs is more like a basement than a finished house. Have t’ check once we clear the top floor.” 

He closed the door just to be safe, and reached for the second. This reveal was far more dramatic; the moment it was open, he heard Beth gasp behind him. “ _Whoa_.”

Whoa was right. The door had opened to reveal a pantry with build-in hand-made shelves, and at least half of them were covered in mason jars and cans of food. 

Beth stepped into the pantry wide-eyed. “I... Can’t remember the last time I saw this much food.”

He snorted softly. “Probably canned a lot themselves. Up here in the mountains, ain’t time like y’can run down th’ street to the store. Most people stocked up.” He looked at the jars of food and saw peaches, apples, pickles, tomatoes, corn, jam, and more. “If they did it right, some of it might even still be edible.” 

Beth looked like she wanted to just wrap her arms around it and hug it all, and Daryl found himself half wanting to laugh, and half wanting to join her. But he knew he had a responsibility to keep her safe, an urge that was more deeply rooted than anything else he’d felt before. He would never be comfortable anywhere unless he knew for certain she was safe, and even then it would never be 100%. 

“C’mon,” he murmured again, reaching for her arm and gently tugging her back. “Ain’t gonna grow legs and go nowhere. Let’s check th’ rest out.” 

Together they moved through the whole house, discovering a bathroom, a study full of dusty books, and two bedrooms. One looked like a guest room, with one of them fold-out couches and lots of extra stuff stores in closets. The other, at the end of the hallway near the other door outside, was the master room. Judging by the open drawers and closets, it looked like whoever left here had packed up quick and left, but ages ago if the dust wasn’t lying. 

“Stupid,” Daryl said, shaking his head. “Should’ve stayed. Place like this... Would’ve been safer than out there.” 

Beth was standing by the dresser, running her fingers lightly across a photograph of a young couple, standing arm in arm in front of what looked like a just-finished version of this house. “Maybe they got away safe, anyway.” 

He came up behind her, and his hand rested on the dresser so that his wrist just gently brushed her hip. As soon as he was close, he felt her lean onto him, just enough so that her back brushed against his chest and the crossbow she held at her side rested against both their legs. She looked in the mirror, finding his gaze over her shoulder. “Think we could claim this room? You know... Finders get to keep the best bedroom?” 

Maybe she’d spoken without thinking, cause as soon as she suggested it, their eyes met in the mirror and a flush went across her cheeks. It was too late to take it back, though, cause it was already in his head, the idea of sharing this room with her. They’d slept together every night since he’d found her, but it had always been so casual. Usually on hard ground, or propped against a tree. The last time there’d been a bed had been the hospital, and usually he slept in the chair only to end up with his arms around her after a nightmare. That had been before they’d kissed, too, before he’d admitted to whatever these feelings were between them.

His eyes found the bed behind them in the mirror, and he knew that it would be different. That would be them, purposefully getting into a big bed together, close under the sheets. He could imagine her legs tangling with his, imagine the way she’d press against his sides under the sheets, how her body would be as soft against him as the mattress was underneath them. He shivered beyond his control, and felt Beth instantly tense up.

“We don’t have to, Daryl. It was just... I was just being silly, that’s all. We can claim the couch instead, or even sleep outside on the deck, or maybe in that gazebo.” 

He couldn’t decide what was more appealing right now. The blush on her cheeks, the little embarrassed smile, the way she was so quick to try and fix what she thought was wrong, or the way that even when she was trying to backtrack, it was still ‘we’. She didn’t once retreat far enough to a point where the two of them were sleeping alone, because they both knew that wasn’t an option anymore.

As usual, Daryl didn’t say anything, but he did respond, in his own way. He leaned in slowly and pressed his lips gently to the hint of her shoulder exposed by the collar of her shirt. As soon as he felt the warmth of her skin beneath her lips, Daryl looked up into the mirror, searching for some sign that she wanted him to stop.

Though her breathing hitched, Beth said nothing. She just looked at him in the mirror, big blue eyes and blonde hair pink lips and the white patch of her bandage; every inch of her the most pure and beautiful thing he’d ever seen. And she was looking at him all steady and warm and sure, and so he brushed his lips over her skin again, lightly making a path right to the crook of her neck. He lingered there, breathing in her warmth and the familiar scent of her, the same one he fell asleep with and woke up surrounded by. Daryl’s eyes found hers in the mirror again, checking, making sure. He couldn’t seem to help himself, because the last thing he wanted was to do anything she wasn’t okay with. Only after he saw the reassurance in her eyes did he continued his gentle slow path up the delicate curve of her neck to the soft spot just below her ear. 

Strands of blonde hair tickled his nose as he rested there, almost nuzzling her, though he’d never have called it that. (Daryl Dixon wasn’t the nuzzling type.) Both his hands rested on either side of her hips now, braced on the surface of the dresser as his lips lightly grazed her ear and he murmured, “If it were up to me, you’d have whatever you wanted. Always. Includin’ this room. Okay?” 

He looked into her eyes, and there it was. The best smile of all, because it was somehow a combination of every smile of hers that he’d cataloged before. The _wanting_ smile, the admiring smile, the brilliantly happy smile.... a smile that was a mix of all the best things he could see on Beth’s face, even a hint of the way she smiled after he’d kissed her. Just a hint, and god, he wanted to see more.

Against her ear, he breathed out in a voice both unsure, yet husky with need, “ _Beth_...”

And Beth was turning in his arms to face him without hesitation. Her crossbow dropped to the ground and her empty hands slid up his chest and curled into his shirt. She leaned up on her toes, and there was only one hesitant pause to make sure he wasn’t gonna pull back, before her lips were pressed to his. This kiss was instantly different than all the others before it. Those had been perfectly sweet, hesitant presses of their mouths together. Easily capable of making his head spin, but only for a few seconds before they’d pull away.

This went on for what seemed like forever, though. Beth’s lips pressed against his as Daryl’s hands shifted to grip her slender hips and hold her close to him. The soft curves of her body seemed to mold against the hard lines of his own, and as with every time, he was amazed to find how easily she fit up against him. Then her lips parted to deepen the kiss, and he suddenly felt her soft little tongue slip into his mouth. The first taste of her, and he swore he saw stars. Or maybe it was the sun, her sun, flaring bright in his mind as he groaned into her mouth and his fingers curled into her waist.

The sound he made was almost a growl, and Daryl’s instinctive response was to press forward until Beth was pinned between him and the edge of the dresser. As soon as he heard her gasp, he froze, instantly worried that he’d done something wrong, that he’d upset her somehow. But then he felt her _smile_ , right against his lips, for just a second before she was easing her lips over his again, and lord was it good.

Her hands slid up his chest to curl at his shoulder, and he let one of his hands brush around to press against the small of her back. They got lost like that, lips parting and bodies pressed together, gasping for breath in between kisses, groaning softly at the warm slide of tongue against tongue. He felt like it could’ve gone on forever, only eventually his lungs began to ache and he had to break the kiss just so he didn’t pass out. 

It seemed he wasn’t the only one. As his forehead came to rest on hers, Daryl couldn’t help but notice how sharply her chest was rising and falling, how she panted for breath as she looked up at him. He just couldn’t look away. Her eyes were big and so blue, but they’d darkened, more like the surface of a lake under the sky than the usual cornflower he liked so much. Her cheeks were flushed, and little wisps of blonde hair had come loose from her ponytail to hang in her face. But the best part was her pink lips, swollen from all those kisses, first parting in a little breathy sound and then curving up into _that_ smile. Her just-been-kissed smile, but a hundred times deeper and better and more beautiful than he’d seen on her before. 

He knew they should go, knew they should finish clearing the house and then go get the others, but he couldn’t bring himself to move. Not yet. Not now. Daryl wasn’t ready to leave, but he also didn’t think he was ready for more than this, for more than the heated kisses they’d just shared. Looking into her eyes, he knew that was okay. It was okay to just stand here, nice and close, looking down into each other’s eyes and ignoring the rest of the world.

For a few minutes he could just stand here looking at her, drinking her in, cataloging that achingly perfect smile.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Awwwww! I hope you guys enjoyed that chapter, and the little physical progress they finally made. I also hope it wasn't horribly out of character, I was a bit worried but I think it went well. I should hopefully have another chapter up tomorrow. Them finding a place to stay means that we get time to not only have sweet Bethyl moments, but also address some other group stuff, like Miss Maggie. Fun times!


	17. The Only One for Me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The group settles into their new temporary home, and Beth and Daryl's relationship continues to deepen.

Beth had felt a sense of pride, leading the group up to their new shelter. It had been good, to see the looks on their eyes as they drank it all in; the garden full of produce, the pond with it’s occasional flash of scales under the water, the berry pushes and apple trees, the easily-defended border of the forest that surrounded the neat little house on the hill. She had drank in the sight of the group, the relief on their faces, the hint of hope and hunger at the idea that a place like this could be good to them, for them, even if it were only for the few weeks they needed to heal and get strong.

(A part of her had wondered if they could see things on her face as well, though. If they could see the hint of flushed cheeks that had lingered in the aftermath of that unexpectedly deep and passionate kiss with Daryl, back in the house. Every inch of her felt flushed with the memory, and she knew how expressive her face could sometimes be.) 

With the house cleared, they had gone back to fetch the group together, in comfortable silence broken only occasionally by little private shared smiles. It was the same as everyone settled into the home. As the group had bustled around them, separating them into their own tasks, Beth knew she could always look up and find him; his eyes would always meet hers and a soft, private smile would flash between them. 

She was currently checking on her ‘patients’, as she playfully called them, while the house bustled around them. Michonne, Carl, and Rick had gone down to the garden to collect as many ripe vegetables as they could. Hank had surprised them all by offering to check through the pantry; he’d said that he and his wife had done a lot of canning, before the change in the world, and he’d be able to help them figure out what they could and couldn’t eat. He wasn’t alone, Tyreese had unexpectedly joined him, saying it seemed like something that might be good to learn.

Glenn, Maggie, and Rosita were currently on watch. Maggie was posted out by the gazebo, just visible through the living room window where Beth was currently working. Glenn was on the other side, keeping an eye on the back of the woods, and Rosita had been sent down by the driveway near the pond. 

For once, Daryl wasn’t in her sight, since he and Abraham and Michonne had gone to patrol the perimeter. Their job was to string up cans and string, create some warning traps for their first night here. They could only manage the basics for now, but if they planned on staying, more would be done. Despite knowing where he’d gone and that he could keep himself safe, Beth couldn’t seem to help the way her gaze strayed to the window occasionally, looking for him.

“He’ll come back.” The soft voice was Sasha’s. The woman was currently sitting on one of the living room chairs, the wound on her arm exposed as Beth inspected and cleaned it before she intended on wrapping it up again. 

“I know,” Beth said simply, giving the woman a soft smile. Her words were easy, but there was a steady look in her eyes, one of complete trust in the man they were speaking about. It had Sasha studying her face almost curiously, until a faint raise of the woman’s eyebrow made Beth blush and duck her head. 

“So the two of you...” Sasha’s question was curious, obviously, but not probing. It had a hint of a tone she remembered from a long time ago, before all this, when she and her friends would have parties or sleepovers and gossip about the boys that they liked. Maybe that was what put a smile on Beth’s lips, rather than making her deny everything and push the question away. 

She didn’t answer it straight out, though, partly because it was private, but also because she didn’t know how. Whatever they were, it wasn’t the sort of thing that could be labeled or put into words. It was trust and understanding, it was a sense of rightness, it was closeness and brief touches and little private smiles, and soft gentle kisses and a flutter of warmth, and the safety of his arms....

The smile on Beth’s lips just grew, until Sasha laughed and nudged her with her good arm. “I see that smile, Beth. You suck at hiding it.”

“I have _no_ idea what you mean,” Beth replied, a hint of playfulness in her voice as she finished inspecting Sasha’s stitches, and grabbed some clean bandages to wrap her arm back up with.

“Mhm, sure you don’t.” Sasha shifted faintly when Beth began to wrap the bandage, but her eyes stayed focused and there was a faint smile on her lips as she added, “He cares about you, a lot.” 

Beth’s smile grew softer as she wrapped up Sasha’s arm, and tucked up the end of the bandage to hold it in place. “I know,” she said softly after a moment. “I care about him, too.” Her gaze trailed to the window as if she might find him right there, coming back. It wouldn’t have surprised her; he was almost always there when she looked for him, these days. It was instinctual for both of them. 

Instead, she saw Maggie, standing by the railing looking out over the property and standing guard, and Beth’s stomach gave a little twist. Conversations like this, all secretive smiles and playful teasing, they were the sort of conversations she’d always expected to have with her sister. Conversations they’d _had_ , in the past. About Jimmy a little, or about the cute boy in the Church choirs before that. She remembered sneaking into Maggie’s room late at night after Maggie’d had a date, and how she’d always ask for details, even though stuff like that used to make her feel this weird combination of awkward and giddy at the same time. 

Now they barely talked. Now she couldn’t even look at Maggie without feeling that ache inside, that sense of betrayal that her once-fresh anger had faded into. She couldn’t even think about gossiping like this with Maggie, even without all that, given what her sister had shouted at Daryl. How could she smile and blush and gossip to Maggie about a man she’d accused of being too old, of somehow wanting to hurt her?

Seeing the change in her expression, Sasha reached out and squeezed Beth’s arm, without saying anything else. Beth was grateful for that, for not being questions or given platitudes in reassurance. She just smiled softly at the woman, gently adjusted her bandage, and then murmured, “You should be fine. No sign of infection, which is good. Just keep it clean and keep changing the bandages and _don’t_ use that arm too much for now. We don’t wanna rip the stitches, okay?”

“Yes, Nurse Beth.”

With a hint of a grin, Beth rose to her feet again and brushed off the knees of her jeans. She had already checked on Father Gabriel, whose wound was also clear of infection though he still couldn’t walk, and Eugene, who had barely spoken to anyone in the weeks since she’d met him, but whose injuries were steadily healing. 

Her gaze strayed again to the window, and with a soft sigh she found herself heading towards the door. Behind her, Ivy and Noah were at the kitchen table, keeping Judith occupied with some cups they’d found for her to stack. Beth gave them a slight smile and then pushed open the door and stepped outside onto the little porch. She was aware of Maggie turning to look back at her at the creaking of the door, but for the moment Beth said nothing. She moved slowly, coming up beside her sister at the railing and just drank in the view.

The hill stretched down beneath them, green grass and overgrown flowers leading into berry bushes and trees, and then down a sharp incline to the small pond. Behind it, the forest lead up another hill, and Beth’s eyes followed the lines of the trees up to where they pierced the sky. The sun was slowly lowering, and she knew soon it would begin to truly set. She had a feeling the sunset would be gorgeous from here, as would the stars. She had a feeling _everything_ would be gorgeous from here.

“It’s beautiful,” she said softly, her fingers curling over the railing as she kept her gaze out over their new, temporary home. “Don’t you think?”

“Yeah.” Maggie’s voice was hesitant, clipped short until she went on, “Reminds me of the farm, a little. I mean-” She broke off, unsure of what to say.

“I know. It’s peaceful in the same way.” Beth breathed in deep and then exhaled in a long sigh. The words came out in a whisper at the end, “Daddy would have loved it here.” 

The two of them stood there in silence for a long moment, as the memories of their father hit them both. Beth pressed her eyes shut for a long moment, trying to remember him the way she wanted to, smiling in the light of the setting sun as the cows lowed around him, trying not to remember her last sight of him instead, smiling at his daughters as the Governor sliced his throat.

“Beth-” Maggie’s voice broke through her thoughts, but Beth’s eyes stayed shut, for her own emotional security as her sister went on, “-I’m sorry. I really am. For not coming for you, for not believing in you. I know that nothing I can say will excuse it, but... After Daddy, I just... It was like I couldn’t let myself think about you. We’d lost so much and the idea of losing you, too, it hurt so bad that I just shoved it all away. That was wrong. _I_ was wrong. I should have done the opposite, I should have fought instead to find you.”

Beth drew in a deep breath that shuddered slightly in her lungs. “I did. I fought for you. I _made_ Daryl keep looking, every day, you know. He wanted to believe we were all dead, that I’d never see you again. He wanted to focus on just keeping me alive and safe, but I wouldn’t believe it. I told him you were alive, all of you, and that we’d find you. And every day we looked for our family. Every day, I looked for _you_. I thought-” She shook her head. “You know, I thought you were looking for me, too. Every day I thought, Maggie is looking for me. I’ll find her, or she’ll find me, and we’ll be together again, and it’ll be okay that everyone else is gone, because we’ll have each other.”

She could see Maggie tensing up beside her. “I’m _sorry_ , Beth. I’m so sorry. I wish... I wish I’d been strong, like you.”

_That_ got Beth’s attention. Like nothing before it, that got Beth to turn and look at her sister, confusion in her eyes, eyebrow raised. Maggie looked down at her, brushing her short brown hair from her face and lightly shrugging one shoulder as she spoke in a thick voice, “You _were_ strong. In a way no one expected, I guess, or rather, in a way I never realized was strength. These days, people think strength is wrestling down a walker, or wielding a sword or a gun. People think strength _killing_. But it’s not, not always. You... you were strong because... you never stopped believing. You had hope, even after _everything_ we went through. That is strength. It’s _your_ strength. Maybe we all need more of that.” 

A faint smile crossed Beth’s lips unexpectedly, and though she turned to look out at the pond to hide it, Maggie must’ve seen, because after a second she asked, “What?”

“You sound like Daryl.” The soft smile on her lips was all for her thoughts of him. “I mean, you use a lot more words, of course. Half of what he tells me is just in looks and shrugs and mumbles, but he thinks that, too. He has for a long time, now, I think.” 

“When you were together, before...” Maggie started hesitantly, and then trailed off, as if afraid to say the wrong thing.

Beth sighed. “He did keep me alive. No one is wrong about that, but... but it wasn’t like that. It wasn’t just him dragging me after him, protecting weak little Beth Greene. We kept _each other_ going. I didn’t realize it then, but it wasn’t just that we got stuck together. We were partners. Or we became partners, anyway.” Though she didn’t normally talk about Daryl and the private things between them, she felt like this was something Maggie needed to hear. To understand. Because they were never gonna come close to fixing what was between them if they didn’t find a way to bridge those gaps.

“He told me once that I showed him that there was good left in the world. That there was hope, and beauty. That I changed his mind about there being good people, because I was one.” She kept her gaze firmly on the tree line, but her cheeks were flushed a bit with having spoken that out loud. “He’s a good man, Maggie. He’s important to me. Because he never gave up on me, because he ran after me on foot for an entire day, because he fought tooth and claw to get me back... but for a lot of other things, too. You and me, we’re blood. That’ll never change. But we can’t fix this between us, if you’re judging him, Cause if you’re judging him, then you’re... well, you’re judging a part of me, too.”

Maggie seemed to have nothing to say to that. When Beth looked at her though, she saw a myriad of emotions flicker across her sister’s face: surprise, confusion, bewilderment, and maybe just the tiniest hint of understanding. She opened her mouth as if to speak, but before she could, Beth’s gaze was pulled to movement down below. 

He came from the woods to the left, striding almost silently towards them. His long hair hung in his face, and his crossbow was slung over his back. The sight of him had a soft smile curving up Beth’s lips, one that only grew when he looked up and met her gaze and slowed his steps. For a moment they just watched each other, blue eyes holding blue, relief and happiness filling both of them at the reassurance of the others presence there and unharmed.

(They were oblivious to the weighted gaze of Maggie, taking every moment in and filing it away.)

When the silence finally broke, it was Beth saying, “Everything secure?” 

He nodded, and then pointed to something down below the desk they stood on. “S’door down here, set in the ground. Anyone check it, yet?”

Beth frowned and leaned over the railing to peer at it. It was just one second, and then her eyes lit up. “It’s a root cellar!” 

That hint of a smile tugged at the corner of his mouth, and Beth felt her heart kick up just the slightest bit more at the sight of it. “Gonna come down an’ check it with me, or no?” She didn’t need to be asked twice. With a flash of an unrestrained grin at Maggie, Beth drew her knife from it’s sheath on her belt and unlocked the gate to slip down the stairs to the ground below. 

Her only greeting to Daryl with eyes on them was to brush her arm just slightly against his, but for them, that was more than enough. It was only once they were inside the cool darkness of the root cellar that she felt his hand slid up her lower back, making her breath out a sigh, releasing tension she hadn’t even realized she’d been holding inside her for that whole conversation with Maggie.

“Everythin’ okay?” To anyone else’s ears, she knew his voice would sound gruff as always, but she could hear the warmth and softness and concern in it, and she knew he was asking about Maggie.

“I don’t know. It wasn’t bad, if that’s what you mean.” Beth reached into her pocket, pulling out her flashlight and shaking it before turning it on. “It was progress, I guess. It was something better than before.” She lifted the circle of light from the dirt floor up, and her gasp cut off anything else she might have said. The root cellar had been stocked by the previous residents of the home. More jars lines some of the shelves, even more than had been in the pantry upstairs. There were bins of potatoes as well, both yellow and sweet potatoes, dried corn, onions, garlic, what looked like carrots layered in a box with mulch, and, even better, several large plastic containers of numerous varieties of beans. 

“ _Wow_.” Beth spun around slowly, eyes wide. “This is amazing. It won’t all be good, by this point, a lot of it must have gone bad, but they stored this _well_. The potatoes will still be good, some of the onions... But beans, those’ll last for years if they’re stored right. We can do a lot with beans. All that protein.”

She looked up at Daryl, and the grin she gave him lit up her whole face. “What do you think about a nice bean stew for dinner tonight? Cause that sure sounds good to me.”

*** 

Dinner that night was the happiest affair they’d all had in what seemed like ages. The bean stew, made of potatoes from the cellar, onions, corn, and a some fresh vegetables from the garden, was more than enough to feed everyone, and a good meal could go a long way in times like this.

They gathered together in the house, spread out from the kitchen table to the couch and chairs in the living room, everyone with a bowl full of stew and a happy smile on their face. Beth and Daryl leaned against a counter together in the kitchen, close to the group but not _too_ close for Beth’s comfort; the whole thing made better by the way their hips were just lightly touching as they ate in silence. 

Beth couldn’t remember the last time she’d seen the group so at ease. Everyone was chatting, relaxed, enjoying the moment. They weren’t lax enough to not have people on watch of course, but it was still a good night. Her eyes drifted over Maggie and Glenn curled on the couch, Sasha and Tyreese side-by-side at the table, Rick cooing to Judith in his arms, Ivy and Noah sitting just close enough that their knees touched. It made her smile, and without thinking she tipped her head to rest it on Daryl’s shoulder. Despite the people all around them, it just felt natural. It felt right. He didn’t even stiffen against her; in fact he seemed as okay with it as she was. 

All things considered, Beth wasn’t even surprised when Carol’s voice cut through the chatter to call out, “Beth! Won’t you sing for us?” She offered the girl a smile, and her request was echoed by a number of people in the group. Maybe it was the ease of the night, or the satisfaction of the stew in her belly, or the comforting warmth of Daryl beside her, but for once Beth didn’t feel panicked. She didn’t feel like protesting or running away. She didn’t feel pressured, or like she couldn’t breathe.

She did take a moment, though, to cycle through the library of songs in her mind, before one finally appealed to her; one that had filtered into her mind as she’d waited today for Daryl to come back to her. As the first words whispered into her mind, Beth smiled, and began to [sing in her sweet soft voice](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uWXrTi8odJE):

_I've been a’waiting for you_  
And you've been a’waiting for me  
Tell me that you'll always be true  
And you'll be the only one for me  
Forget me not my dear, my darling  
Forget me not my love  
I just wanna hold your hand  
Hang on every word you say  
Let's write a song for us  
And sing until we're old and grey  
Forget me not my dear, my darling  
Forget me not my love  
I'm coming home real soon  
Please leave a light on for me  
Tell me that you'll always be true  
And you'll be the only one for me  
Yes, you'll be the only one for me 

As she sang, her sweet voice filling the air of the snug warm home, she felt everyone’s gaze on her as a noticeable, curious weight. But it was Daryl that she felt the most aware of; so incredibly conscious of. She could feel every deep breath he took, and the warmth of his gaze on her, never once looking away. As she sang, she kept her eyes on the rest of their family, knowing that if she looked at him for too long that everything she felt would shine in her eyes for everyone to see. She wasn’t ready, yet, to share that with every one of them, when she and Daryl were only just learning to share it with each other.

(She had no way of knowing that most of the people in the room could already see it, _had_ already begun to see it, even now in the way he watched her like he was drinking her in and in the way she shown with love for him even as she avoided looking at him.)

At the last line she couldn’t help herself; she let her gaze go to him, finally, as she softly sings the last few words. Her eyes met his, and the depth of emotion in that deep blue gaze seemed to stun her right to her core, but Beth’s gaze hitched for only a moment before she just let herself smile at him, radiant with how she felt. 

The group hesitated for only a second before they began to softly clap, complimenting her on the song even as her cheeks flushed pink. Daryl seemed to understand, though. He just let her rest her head on his shoulder again, but where no one else was able to see, she felt his hand press gently and comfortingly to her lower back. 

*** 

The most surprising part of the night had been when everyone had begun to get ready for bed. She and Daryl hadn’t said anything about the subject since that shared moment in the bedroom. She was sure he’d have watch, which was fine with her. She would nap curled up near him outside, and he would join her when he was done, the way they always did.

Instead, when everyone began to get ready for bed, he murmured gruffly, “C’mon.”

Her eyebrow raised, and when she looked up at him in confusion, she saw that the tips of his ears were red. “Daryl?” Her question was soft, so no one else could hear, but he just frowned at her almost fiercely. If she hadn’t been so confused, it would have made her smile; she knew that fierce frown came out the most when he was embarrassed or flustered.

It seemed he wasn’t capable of explaining more out loud, so instead he curled his fingers loosely around her arm and began to tug her down the hallway. He stopped only long enough to grab a lit candle from the counter and bring it with them into the dark hallway. “Daryl...” She peered over her shoulder in confusion, but no one seemed to have anything to say, despite the fact that she could see a few people watching (including Sasha, with a hint of that amused smile). It was only when he nudged her into the master bedroom and closed the door that Beth understood.

In an instant her whole face was pink and her eyes wide. “Oh! ... Really?” A smile tugged hesitantly at her lips as Daryl rubbed his hand over his hair in his trademark embarrassed gesture. He scuffed his foot on the floor and his ears were still faintly red as he finally managed a nod in response.

“Asked Rick,” he said roughly, looking carefully up at her. “Ain’t ours for every night. He said it’s only fair t’ rotate. But tonight, yeah. I mean... If you want.” 

He almost looked like he was worried she _wouldn’t_ want to sleep in here with him, and Beth couldn’t bring herself to tease him. She crossed the short gap, leaned up on her toes, and pressed her lips softly to his cheek. “Of course I want to,” she whispered, letting one more kiss linger on his warm skin before she pulled back. “Thank you.” 

Of course, it all became a bit more awkward once they shifted from talking about it to actually _doing_ anything. It wasn’t that Beth thought anything was going to happen tonight, at least, anything beyond the kisses they had shared in this room earlier today. It was just so... Intimate, somehow. So much more so than all the times she’d curled up at his side while he was on watch, or he’d just followed her to her chosen sleeping spot and laid down beside her. It felt so _purposeful_. 

With him standing there, unsure and awkward, Beth knew she would have to make the first move. “C’mon,” she said, taking the candle from him and moving to set it on the side-table next to the bed, before moving to take down the comforter. “We should shake this out a bit, it’s dusty. Everything else should be fine.” As he dusted off the comforter, Beth fluffed the pillows and tugged down the sheets, returning to him to help lay the comforter back down at the base of the bed.

Her gaze lingered on him for a moment, and then she moved to the dresser. For the first time in ages, they could sleep comfortably, without having to stay fully dressed, boots and all, ready to run at the first sign of trouble. She planned on relishing and enjoying that. Beth toed off her boots carefully, and let her socks join them. She didn’t plan to get completely undressed, of course, but she was going to try and be a little more comfortable than usual.

Rummaging through the drawers (and only feeling a little guilty for it), Beth came up with a pair of jersey shorts that must have belonged to the former owner. They were a little big for her slender hips, but they’d work. With her side to Daryl, Beth slipped carefully out of her jeans and stepped out of them, acutely aware of the fact that he was so close and she was only in panties from the waist down. Of course, it wasn’t like he’d not seen her like this before. There’d been times where she’d changed clothes after washing them, or the one time he’d found them a pond in the woods and she’d stripped down to her shirt and underwear to swim in it.

Again, though, this felt far more intimate, and she was careful not to look at him, unsure of what she might see in his eyes. She was only like that for a moment anyway, before she pulled on the shorts and slid them over her hips. Clad in her t-shirt and shorts, Beth gently tugged the bracelets from her wrist (all but the one he had made her from his shirt) and set them on the dresser. Only then did she undo her hair, shaking it out over her back as she looked over at him.

“You can get comfortable too, you know. I bet we could find some pants in here for you...” She crossed the room slowly to sit on one side of the bed. “Or you could at least take off your boots, and your shirt...”

In an instant, he froze. His whole body was tense, and Beth almost went frantic, wondering what it was that she’d said wrong. “Daryl?” 

He grunted at her and shook her head, his gaze dropping instantly to the ground. Tension was tight in every line of his body, tension and something else... Panic? Fear? 

She got to her feet, padding barefoot across the hardwood floors towards him, stopping just an inch away because she didn’t want to get too close only to have him push her away. “Whatever I said, I’m sorry Daryl. You don’t have to get undressed, if you don’t want to. I understand.”

Come to think of it, she was pretty sure he had never undressed in front of her. Not even his shirt, not in front of _anyone_ in the group, in the whole time he knew her, except... and then, it hit her in a flash. Just one little memory, but it was enough. Her mind was filled with a recollection of the time he’d fallen off the horse on the farm and injured himself with his own arrow. She’d been in there with her Daddy, helping to treat him, and she’d gotten only the briefest glimpse of his back. Even that glimpse had been enough to let her see the scars that marred it. It had only been a glimpse though and back then, she’d known nothing about him. 

Now she did. She knew what felt like everything about him, even though she knew it wasn’t. What she did know was enough, though. She knew about his mother dying, she knew about how his father had beat him and she knew, for certain now, that his body bore the marks of it. Marks he didn’t feel comfortable showing anyone, ever. 

Knowing he would hate any pity in her eyes, Beth looked firmly up at him with nothing but acceptance and warmth. “Come to bed, Daryl. It’s okay. I just want you laying next to me, alright? Just the way you are, that’s fine by me.” 

Whatever she’d said it had him looking up into her eyes and holding them for a long, heavy moment. She caught sight of movement at the corner of her eyes and looked down to see his hands curling and uncurling, as if he wanted to reach for her but couldn’t quite bring himself to do it. 

Beth closed the gap between them in one step, letting her hands slide slowly up his chest as she leaned into him. “It’s okay,” she murmured, going up on her toes to nuzzle into the crook of his neck. “It’s okay. I’m right here.”

His hands moved at that, clutching at her back and curling tight into the thin fabric of her shirt. She felt a shudder go through him, easing only some of the tension that still filled every line of his lean, muscular body. Beth hadn’t expected him to speak, and she would have been okay if he didn’t. She would have just stood there for as long as he needed, letting him hold her.

So when his rough, slightly-ragged voice broke the silence, it was entirely unexpected. “Don’t want you t’ look at me diff’rent. Ain’t never showed many people, not on purpose. Not after I saw the way they looked at me. Don’t want no pity. Don’t wanna be looked at like I’m broken. Like I’m just a sad story.” 

Beth reached up and her fingers brushed over his cheek, softly trailing across his rough stubble. “I would never look at you like that. You could never be just a sad story to me. You’re _Daryl_.” She leaned in a little more and her eyes were soft as she said, “I’ve shown you my scars, told you my stories, and you’ve never looked at me different. Neither would I, with you. But you don’t have to, Daryl. You _never_ have to, not if you don’t want to. This isn’t the sort of thing where you owe me anything.” 

Her fingers brushed up to took a loose strand of dark hair behind his ears. “I meant what I said. I just wanna share this bed with you, tonight. That’s all. However you’re comfortable doing it, okay?”

When it came, his reply was just a simple nod. His gaze lingered on hers for just a moment and then dropped to the floor as he began to toe off his boots. Beth smiled gently and leaned up once more to press a kiss to his cheek, before pulling away. She returned to the bed, tugging down the sheets and sliding into them to sit up with her back to her pillows.

It was only when she looked up that she realized what he was doing. He stood by the edge of the bed, looking down at her as his fingers curled into the hem of his shirt and began to lift it up. “You don’t have to-” Beth began softly, only to be silenced by the look in his eyes. It was trust, plain and simple and deeper than she’d ever seen from anyone before. Daryl Dixon trusted her; with his life, with _this_. 

So she just nodded. And when he stripped off his shirt and tossed it aside, she let her gaze slide slowly over him without judgment. He was lean, but muscled as she’d always felt beneath his shirt when he was pressed close. He had a couple tattoos across his chest, and a few scars here and there, but nothing too drastic or unexpected. The real story, she knew, lay on his back.

He seemed to hesitate for just a moment, and Beth looked into his eyes, giving him strength, or at least trying to. He released a pent-up breath in a shuddering exhale, and then turned to sit on the edge of the bed. The movement exposed every inch of his back to her, lit by the candle she’d set on her side-table. 

It seemed like the whole of his back was covered in scars. Long rigid lashes across his flesh, left by what she could only assume had been his father’s belt. They marred his skin, some red and some a hint of white, and interspersed between them were the small red burns she knew must have come from cigarettes, pressed hot to his skin. The emotions that surged through her were a complex mess of anger and hurt and pain and sorrow, for the boy he had been, for the man this had made him into. But it wasn’t about her, or how she felt. It was about him, and it was him she was worried for.

That tension had returned again, filling every line of his body as he sat there silent, unmoving, waiting. Waiting for her. Beth said nothing, because there was nothing she could say. She couldn’t change the past, despite how much she wanted to. She couldn’t go back and save that sad, scared, abused young boy from a life of pain and torment. She couldn’t even go back and dole out punishment to his father, make him feel every bit of pain he had given to his son.

But she could help the man in front of her now. The man who made her feel emotions deep and warm, like she’d never imagined she might feel before.

(The man she loved, though she didn’t dare put a name to that feeling, not now, not just yet, when it was new and big and almost a tiny bit scary.) 

Silently she drew up onto her knees and moved behind him. The first brush of her lips to a soft, smooth spot on his shoulder drew a shudder from him. Hesitantly she let her fingers graze up his back, pausing the moment he tensed at the brush of her fingers over one of his scars. She only moved when he seemed to relax a bit; the last thing she wanted was to push him. Beth leaned in slowly and pressed her lips to the ridge of a scar just below his shoulder. Her lips traced the mark gently, warmly, affectionately. She would have kissed every mark on his body if she could, but she had a feeling this was enough for now. She didn’t want to overwhelm him, she wanted to help him relax.

“C’mon,” she said softly, her hands sliding over to the smooth skin of his chest as her lips found his ear. “Lay down with me, Daryl. Let’s just sleep.”

There was a moment of hesitation, and then he sighed and melted back down with her. His back pressed to the bed, and his tension seemed to ease even more. Beth leaned over to blow out the candle and then shifted to lay down beside him, turning instantly on her side and pressing herself against his chest. It was the first time she’d been like this with him, her cheek resting on the warm, bare skin of his chest, and she felt flushed all over. 

“Thank you,” he whispered into the silence.

Beth just shook her head, and slid her hand over the flat of his stomach to settle there. “You don’t have to thank me for caring about you, or accepting you, Daryl. You’re important to me. I will always accept you.” 

He turned, and his lips caught hers in a kiss that was as fierce as it was unexpected. She was surprised to find his lips parting against hers, tasting her as his fingers curled into her thick locks of her blonde hair, surprising a soft moan from her lips. The passionate kiss lingered until she was so breathless she couldn’t even think of speaking, and then he broke it to rest his forehead against hers, and whisper in a low, insistent voice, “ _Thank you_.” 

She didn’t protest. She didn’t deny him again. Beth just curled against him and let him tug the blankets over their bodies until they were curled together underneath it, wrapped up in each others warmth and drifting off to sleep. Together; and that was all that mattered.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a bit of a slow chapter, but I really rather like it, and I hope you all do, too. It's a good compliment to the last chapter, which was slow as well. Next chapter will hopefully have a little bit more action. I hope I did the last scene well, it's always a big moment in their relationship in any fic, and I wanted to do it justice. If you're wondering what Daryl's thoughts were during all of it, don't worry, I will try and cover it in the next chapter because I think that's important, too!
> 
> The song Beth sings is "Forget Me Not" by the Civil Wars. I'm pretty sure it would have been out before the apocalypse, but I just know either way that Beth would definitely have loved their music.


	18. I Never...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Every time they play this game, things come to the surface, and yet Daryl can't say no when Beth promises the winner a kiss from the loser.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know, I know, everyone does the I Never game, but it's a Bethyl classic, okay? I just had to do it, and I hope you enjoy my take on it.

Three days. That was how long it took before staying in the small house became too much for Beth.

That wasn’t exactly true. For her, it had probably happened sooner than three days. It was just about one day before Daryl noticed her needing to go outside every hour or so and catch her breath. It was one and a half days before he saw her begin to shake sometimes, when too many people were in the same room as her. It was two days before her need to go outside every hour became every half hour instead. 

But it was three days before watching Beth struggle became too much for _Daryl_ to take, because it was three days before he found her curled up in the bathtub, alone, fully clothed, shivering a little and staring blankly up at the tiled wall.

It was the blankness that really killed him. It was the same blankness he saw back at the hospital, when she would lie in bed some times and the light would seem to go out of her eyes. It was the same blankness he would see sometimes right after she woke up from a nightmare, before her eyes would fix on him and the emptiness would be filled with panic or relief. It was the blankness he just couldn’t abide. The thought of losing her light threatened to strangle something inside of him. 

He left her there in the tub, but only long enough to go into the bedroom, where she had stored her stuff even though they weren’t sleeping in there every night. He grabbed her crossbow and her bag, as well as his own, and set them outside the bathroom door. His only other detour was into the kitchen, just long enough to grab some supplies and have a talk with Rick, to come to an arrangement with the man.

Five minutes later, he walked back into the tub, reached down, and scooped her up into his arms. “C’mon, Greene.” He set her on her feet, only letting go when he was sure she was gonna stay standing. She was still shivering and her eyes were still dull, almost more gray now than blue, but he saw something shift inside of them as he bent down, picked up her bag and her bow, and handed them to her. “We’re going on a hunting trip.” 

*** 

The changes in her became clear almost as soon as they stepped outside. At first it was just a slight ease in the tension of her body, a deeper intake of breath. Then they stepped into the woods, and Daryl saw that first hint of light returning to her eyes. With each step they took deeper into the forest, the changes in her grew more obvious. Her body relaxed, her breathing deepened, and her eyes softened until they were almost that same brilliant blue he was familiar with. 

After five minutes, she lifted up her bag and slung it over her shoulder, following it a minute later with her crossbow. It was only once they’d been walking for a good ten minutes that she looked over and noticed the large pack strapped to his back. It was a tent they’d found, stored in the basement of the house. “How long are we staying out?” She asked, her voice quiet but firm again.

“Told Rick maybe two or three days. Promised we’d find a deer, track it down, bring it back. Should take ‘bout that long, anyway.” 

She was quiet for another few minutes, just drinking in the peace of the woods maybe, until she shifted close enough for the back of her hand to brush against his. “Thank you.” 

He shook his head the moment the words registered. “Shoulda got you out of there sooner, when I saw it was gettin’ to be too much.”

Now it was Beth’s turn to shake her head, her brow furrowed as she looked up at him. “I should have _said_ something. I knew it was getting too much, but I just kept telling myself I had to keep handling it, and...”

She trailed off and Daryl unexpectedly bumped his arm into her, giving her a faint little lip-quirk of a smile. “Well, we could go back and forth blaming ourselves all day, like this. Ain’t gonna solve nothin’. How about we just say that next time, we both try harder to say somethin’ as soon as we notice somethin’ is wrong. Okay?”

Beth rewarded him with a faint smile and a nod. “Okay.” And he knew that next time, it would be better. He would say something sooner, or she would, and they’d find a way to give her the space she needed. 

The thought was something to muse on for a few moments, as they walked through the woods, nearly-silent, seemingly aimless although Daryl’s internal sense of direction told him where they were going and how they’d get back fine. “Y’know... Sometimes, I think you get more like me every day.” He frowned, but then chuckled. “Never thought that’d happen. Not sure it’s a good thing, though.”

Beth’s hand brushed his, and she looked up at him with a frown. “What do you mean?” 

“Bein’ out here.” He nodded around the woods. “S’good for you. S’always been like that, for me. Never felt right, cooped up inside for too long. Guess it reminded me of, you know, when I was a kid.” He shrugged, not wanting to say more and not needing to, with her. “Ever since th’ first time Merle and my Dad took me out here, it was always better. Even that time when I was a kid, an’ got lost for days. Ever since then, it’s always been better out here.” 

Talking to her seemed to get easier every day. Half the time he never realized how much he was saying until he’d already gotten out, and even then it didn’t seem to phase him much. If anyone else had been around, it probably would have, but it was easy to talk around Beth. She made it easy, with her silence and her understanding and her sweet smiles. 

“I used to be fine,” she murmured, knowing he’d understand. “I mean, I grew up on a farm, I always loved the outside, but I was just as happy inside too, you know? Surrounded by people I loved, all warm and snug and happy. And then...” She shook her head, but he saw her fingers flit to the cast still on her wrist and knew she was thinking about the hospital again, the place that had changed her more than anything she’d gone through before. More even than watching her mother stumble out of that barn a walker, more than clutching tight to Patricia’s hand as she was torn apart, more than watching her father get murdered before her eyes. 

“You know what the worst thing is?” She looked over at him, her eyes dark. “It’s not even that I hate how it all affects me. It’s that I hate who it was that did it. I hate that... _that place_ and those people, left a mark on me that’ll always be there, that I might never get rid of.” Her fingers brushed now over the scars on her cheeks and she shook her head. “Inside, I mean, too.”

Daryl’s brow was furrowed again as they walked in silence a little bit longer. He wished he knew the right thing to say to her. He wished more than anything that he could take away her pain. Even though what she had gone through had made her the woman she was today, he wished he could take some of it and ease her burden. “Scars... never go away entirely.”

“No,” Beth’s voice was soft and sad as she stepped a little closer to him and let their hands brush together again. “I guess they don’t.” 

He fell into considering silence for a moment, and then ventured, “But they can fade. Things can happen- _people_ can happen- that make it all seem easier to bear.” 

At his words, he saw Beth looking up over at him, felt her lean into him a little closer so that their arms now brushed together. “Yeah,” she said softly, and he knew without looking that there was a smile on her lips that said she understood. “Yeah, I guess you can.”

He just hoped that for now, it was enough. Cause it worried him to think of her, getting panicked even around the people that they considered family. He didn’t want to think of what it might be like if they got to where they were going, and she had to figure out how to live among a town of strangers.

“Daryl?”

He looked over at her, the question in his eyes rather than on his lips.

“It isn’t all bad, me becoming more like you. Being able to find peace out here is a good thing. Tracking, hunting, getting stronger like you, that’s all good.” She smiled. “Besides, you’re becoming more like me, too. It’s a mutual thing.” 

All he could do at that was nod. She’d told him once that they spoke each other’s languages, and he knew that was true. It wasn’t just that they were learning to interpret the other’s language, though. Sometimes he thought they were also beginning to make each other’s language, or parts of it, their own.

*** 

They walked for a few hours before Daryl’s instinct guided them to what seemed to be a game trail. “Too early for rut scrapes, but if we follow this, should maybe find their watering hole. Be plenty of tracks there t’ follow.”

“Rut scrapes?” She peered at him in interest.

“In rutting season- mating season- the bucks rub their antlers against the trees. They make marks, to tell the does they’re, you know...”

“In the mood?” Beth giggled, and he surprised himself by chuckling back.

“Yeah, I guess that’s a good way of puttin’ it. Anyway, s’to early for that just yet, but a game trail is easy enough to follow.”

Beth just nodded and let him take the lead as always, but he could see her peering curiously at the ground as they walked and he knew she was both remembering their past lessons and looking for even more learnin’. 

“See how there’s a space here, between all these thorny plants? Got it here on the left and right but nothing in between?” Beth nodded, and Daryl dropped to his haunches to touch the ground in demonstration “And then down here, all the grass is matted, and y’ got leaves and broken twigs all pressed down, too? Ain’t nothin’ growing here new, cause the game is always walking on it, tramplin’ it down.” 

When Beth crouched down next to him and began to run her fingers through the flattened ground, he nodded in approval. “What else d’you think you’d find, t’ know it’s a game trail, an’ what kind?” He looked at her expectantly, giving her time to think about it an answer the question.

Beth kept her fingers lightly twining through the dead grass, crinkling up her nose in thought before she said, “Tracks, right?” She made a face. “And, um, droppings.”

“Scat,” Daryl agreed with a nod. “And that’s how you’d tell for sure if it were deer or something else.” 

“Something else?” Beth looked worried, but only until he reached down to offer her his hand and help her up.

“Sometimes y’ might find a bear trail ‘round here, but this looks too narrow. Walkers don’t all follow th’ same paths like this, so it ain’t them. Besides...” He trailed off and walked a little ways forward before pointing to some marks in the dirt. 

Before he could say anything, Beth crouched down and nudged the leaves out of the way to look at them. “Deer tracks?” 

“Mhm. How d’you know?”

“Because...” She looked down again and her nose was wrinkling up in the way Daryl knew it did when she was thinking and remembering. “Cause deer have cloven hooves, right? So then you see a split, like this, in the hoof print. And there’s no pads, like you’d see with umm... Well, rabbits or bears or wolves or anything.”

He gave her a little corner-lip smile and a nod. “Good.” He knew that despite the brevity of his reply, his pride was shining on his face for her. Maybe more than that, too, because this time when he reached down to help her up, she came up fast and her hand braced on his chest, and they were close enough that he could see a flash of heat in her eyes that felt mirrored by something inside of him. For a long moment they just stood there facing each other, and Daryl was acutely aware not only of the warmth in her eyes but the heat in every place where their bodies touched; her hand on his chest, his hand laced in her other, the faint brush of her feet against his. 

Then her lips curved into that little knowing smile she liked to flash at him these days, and she gently pulled back. He was surprised to feel a hint of regret when she did that, though he didn’t know what else he’d wanted to do. Maybe just stand there, close to her, drinking in that warmth he felt whenever she was close. 

He felt a little like a puppy trailing after her for a moment, awkward and unsure but just knowing she’s the one he wants to follow. Only then she looked over her shoulder at him and smiled, and it seemed so stupid to feel awkward around her. Not when she knew him better than anyone ever before in his life. Because she’s _Beth_ and he knew that even if he got unsure, even if _she_ got unsure, they could figure anything out together.

They walked side by side in silence for a little bit, until Beth’s soft voice broke in. “Is this the kinda hunt where we have to be quiet the whole time?” 

She asked just like she was curious, not like she minded either way, so he shrugged and said, “S’okay if you wanna talk, for now. When we get on a real track or get closer, I’ll let you know.”

Though she nodded, Beth didn’t say anything for a little bit longer, as if she were considering an idea, or something. “I was thinking maybe we could play a game while we walk.”

He snorted lightly. “A game?”

Beth grinned over at him. “Yeah, like, _I never_...” 

With a roll of his eyes, he nudged her arm and replied teasingly, “Don’t you remember how that ended the last time? Don’t think burnin’ somethin’ down is gonna keep us safe this time. ‘Sides, ain’t no alcohol to drink.” 

“We don’t need alcohol! We’ll... go by points. So if I say I’ve never done something, and you _have_ done it, I get a point. But if I say I’ve never done something, and you haven’t either, then we say no points. Whoever has the most points by the end of the night, wins.” 

Daryl just chuckled and looked her over with a glint of amusement in his eye. “What does the winner get?” 

He couldn’t decide if the mischievous look in her eyes made that the best or worst question he’d ever asked. Not even when she replied, “The winner gets a kiss from the loser, _obviously_.” 

He guessed that all in all, when she put it like that, it didn’t sound like such a bad idea. Maybe it was even better this time, without them being drunk and asking stupid, painful questions.

(Just the memory of how he’d treated her that day still stung at him. The things he’d shouted, the accusations he’d leveled. It was cruel of him, and unfair, and he still worried sometimes that he had been part of what had damaged and hurt her. It killed him, thinking that.)

As if sensing some of his turmoil, Beth smoothly began, “I’ve never... shot a deer.” 

With a snort and a roll of his eyes, Daryl’s worry disappeared. “That was an easy point for you, Greene.” 

“Yeah well, it’s your turn now, _Mr. Dixon_.” 

The playful switch to that name had him flashing back to the last time they’d played this game, but at least all of those memories weren’t bad. That night, awful though some of it had been, was really the first time he’d started to truly _notice_ just how complex Beth Greene was. 

“I’ve never...” He trailed off for a moment, scratching his chin in thought before brushing a branch gently out of the way. “Had a pet.” 

Beth crinkled up her nose at him, but sighed. “We had a dog, before everything went apart. I had a hamster once, too. Point for you, then.” She was looking at him like she wanted to ask something else, about him never having a pet, but she didn’t. He liked that she never, ever pushed.

The game was a sort of off-and-on thing, as they followed the game trail slowly but surely. Sometimes one of them would say something, other times they’d drift into companionable silence. By the time they reached the watering hole, he was up by three points, probably because it was easy for him to think of things he’d never done, that a sweet girl like her with a good home life definitely would have. 

Beth began to sweep the area with him, inspecting the tracks as she said, “I’ve never... dated someone for longer than three months.” 

He looked up at her for a long moment and raised an eyebrow, and even though it was his turn to respond, his silence prompted her into saying, “Jimmy was the longest, and...” She shrugged. “You know, we’d only gone on one or two dates, before everything happened? Then he was there, on the farm, and it was like everyone just sort of expected us to be together. And we were, and it was okay I guess. I cared about him a lot, you know, but we had been friends before so... I dunno. Maybe I mostly just cared about him because we’d been friends so long. After I tried to... to hurt myself, he was weird with me. Like he thought I was some broken vase that got taped back together and one wrong touch would make me shatter again.” 

Her voice caught a bit as she was talking about Jimmy, until he saw her sigh and relax a little more. “Zach was just... Well it sounds awful, but he was just there. He was there and he was cute and he didn’t know about my past or what I’d done, so he didn’t treat me like I’d break. I don’t even know if he was really my boyfriend. I did care about him. Even if I didn’t cry when he...” 

She shook her head and trailed off, and the hint of pain in her voice had Daryl coming up beside her. “No points, Greene.” She looked up at him, a question in her blue eyes, and he shrugged. “Ain’t never dated anyone at all, let alone for a month, or two, or three. Never wanted to.” 

Looking down, his gaze spotted something in the dirt, and he crossed to it and crouched down. Leaving their conversation behind, he said, “Here. This is a good trail. We can follow it, stop before it gets dark, set up a camp. Keep an’ eye out for rabbit tracks, too, or squirrels. Maybe we can get somethin’ besides canned peaches for dinner, yeah?” 

As always she was easy with him, not mentioning the thing he’d just said and left behind. This time she offered him her hand, same as he had hers, and he gripped it tightly in his hand as he climbed to his feet. Again there was that hold of each other’s gaze, a lingering rush of heat between them, and the smile on Beth’s lips. 

Though he turned away reluctantly to follow the tracks of the deer, another small smile flickered across his lips as he called back, “I’ve never... Called anyone my boyfriend or girlfriend.”

“Oh come on, that doesn’t count! You’re piggy backing off my last question, that’s not fair.” She came up beside him and nudged him with her hip. “Try again, Dixon.” 

He snorted, but he knew she had a point. This time he went quiet for a few moments, before he said in a more serious tone, “I never graduated high school.” 

Her arm brushed his. “Me either. No point for you. I guess I would’ve, the year after it happened, but.” She shrugged. “I never went to college, either.” 

“Same, no point.” He was quiet for a moment, studying the ground in front of them. “But you would’ve, wouldn’t you?” He looked up at her, studying her face. “You’d have gone to college, if none of this had happened.” 

Beth shrugged almost the same way he sometimes did. “Yeah, I guess. Before all this, I wanted to go to Georgia Southern University. They have a good music education program. That’s what I wanted to do, you know? Teach music, but to little kids.” 

His gaze lingered on her for a few moments, until he nodded. “I could see that. You’re good with Judy. Y’were good with the other kids, too.” He took a few steps forward, studying the tracks as they veered onto a new path. “You would’ve done it. Finished high school, gone off to college...” He made a ‘humph’ sound. “And we would've never met, I guess.”

“No.” When she spoke that single word, it was so quiet but firm that he couldn’t help looking up at her. She stood there beside him, shaking her head and furrowing her brow. “I mean no, we would’ve met somehow.”

Daryl crouched down, brushing aside some grass as if to study the hoof prints there. “Can’t know that, for sure.” 

But when he looked up at her, she was staring down at him like she _did_. Like there was nothing else she was more certain of. “We would’ve. I know it. Maybe you’d have stumbled across me at some bar one night and you’d have thought I wasn’t the type of girl to ever be in a bar like that, and so you’ve felt like you just had to come up and tease me for it. Or maybe you’d have been driving on your brother’s bike, and found some silly blonde girl stuck on the side of the road with a flat tire. Or maybe you’d have just happened to be in Senoia one day when I was up visiting my family, and we’d have rounded the corner at the same time and bumped into each other. It would’ve happened, I just know it.”

He looked up at her, disbelief and amazement warring in his eyes as he breathed out, “ _How_?”

“Cause, Daryl Dixon.” She bent over in front of him to look right into his eyes and smiled as her fingers tucked a stray bit of hair behind his ear. “Cause it’s fate, you and me. We were meant to find each other, somehow, again and again, no matter what got in between us. Dixon and Greene.” 

All he wanted was to find the right thing to say. To _know_ the right words, to be capable of telling her that he felt that way too, but that he also felt so much more. 

(He wanted to tell her that he felt like they weren’t just meant to find each other, but that they belonged together. That he’d felt it first that night with the candlelight flickering across her face and a feeling growing inside of him that he’d never felt before, like _home_. That he’d felt it when he’d held her in his arms and felt her breath across his face. That he’d felt it every day and every night since, with her at his side.)

He was so caught up in what he wanted to say, that he didn’t see the walker coming up from behind until it was almost on top of her. It reached out and grabbed at her back, but Beth couldn’t spin around fast enough. She twisted and fell to the ground with a groan, as the walker lurched towards her. He felt like his movements were sludge as he rose to his feet, watching Beth scramble on her back and butt across the ground, kicking up dirt with her feet in her haste to get away from the walker. He had his crossbow in his hands but he couldn’t shoot, not with the way they were both moving; he didn’t want to risk hurting her by accident.

Her crossbow was pinned beneath her body and he saw her frantically reaching for her knife to no avail, fumbling at the catch just as the walker stumbled closer and lurched forward to fall on top of her and pin her to the ground. “ _Beth_!” The sight of her frantically trying to shove the walker away from where he was snapping his jaws in her face finally spurred him into action. Daryl rushed forward and his knife was in his hand without him even realizing it. He crossed the few feet between them just as he heard her bite back a scream, and then he shoved his blade hard, right into the walker’s skull. Blood oozed out across his hand, but all he could think of was her. He hauled the walker off and threw it aside, and in a second he was on his knees, pulling her up into his arms.

“Beth, Beth, Beth... are you okay? Did it get you? Did it bite you?” He barely noticed how frantic he was as his hands roamed across her slender body, checking for marks on her legs, her hips, her side, her arms, searching every inch of her for bite-wounds. He didn’t know that his eyes were wide with panic or that his face was pale as he clutched both sides of her head and looked down into her eyes and pleaded, “ _Beth_.”

“I’m okay,” she finally breathed out in a hoarse whisper. “I’m okay, I’m okay, I swear Daryl, it didn’t bite me. _I’m okay_.”

Just like that, he had hauled her into his lap. He had just enough time to pull her up so she was straddling his thighs, and then his lips were on hers, _hard_. The kiss was as desperate and frantic as he felt, as if he were both making sure she was still alive, convincing them both she was okay, and apologizing over and over for letting her almost get hurt.

Beth clung to him, her arms wrapped around him and her fingers curled tight into the hair at the back of his hand, and he held on just as tight in return, fisting his hands into her t-shirt, his knuckles digging into her back as he pulled her against him. Their lips parted, passionate and hungry, both of them just barely remembering to gasp for breath in between the motions as they desperately devoured each other.

It was only after several minutes that he realized they’d begun to do more. It was only after he finally broke the kiss to gasp for breath that he realized his hands had slipped up under her shirt to span her warm back, or that she had been pressing herself slowly down in his lap until he had, predictably, begun to strain a little at his jeans. As soon as the realization hit him, the tips of Daryl’s ears went pink, and he stammered for words as she looked up at him. “I- We-”

He didn’t have to find the words, though. Because Beth understood, like she always did. She leaned in until her forehead rested against his, and he felt her hands smooth out down his back as she whispered a soft ‘shushing’ sound to calm him. His own hands slipped out from under her shirt to cover it again, pressing against her back through the safety of the fabric. 

It was only when they’d both gotten quiet, and their breathing had gone almost back to normal, that he heard Beth whisper in his ear, “Never have I ever had sex.” 

The words send a rush of heat right through him. It was almost enough to make him go all tense and awkward again, except he had been filled with such relief at having not lost her that it was hard to panic again so quickly. Daryl just stayed quiet for a long, long moment, mind racing, before he murmured back in a rough whisper, “Point for you, Greene. I have.” 

It was quiet between them for several minutes, until he finally got to his feet and brought her with him. Despite wishing he could stay like that, with her legs wrapped around him, Daryl gave into safety instead and set her feet on the ground. “We should find someplace safer to stop for the night. Might be more walkers around.” 

He moved away from her, but only to pick up his bow and bag and sling them over his back again. Catching sight of Beth reaching to adjust her own crossbow, he came up behind her to check it and make sure it hadn’t been damaged by her crawling on her back across the ground.

“It was just the once,” he admitted, not even aware he was going to do it until the words were out. “Merle decided it was time for me to be a man, and that being a man meant havin’ sex.” He shrugged, and adjusted the strap of her bow. “Think she was a friend of his, or a friend of one of his girls. We were both drunk.” He didn’t remember much of it. He’d only been like 18 and it had been quick, and then it had been over. Despite Merle’s teasing, he’d never done it again, because he hadn’t really wanted to. He’d kissed girls once or twice just to get Merle to shut up, but he’d gotten good at making Merle think he’d done more. He’d wait till Merle was completely shit-faced, let him see him take some girl into his room. Then Merle would pass out, he’d send the girl home without doing anything, and the next day Merle would be convinced he’d scored.

He’d never wanted to do anything else. He’d never wanted to really kiss a girl, or slide his hands over her smooth skin, or hold her close till he could feel her heat in his lap. Until now. Until Beth. 

He didn’t know how to tell her all that, though, so instead he patted the bow to signal it was okay, and then stepped back and let her turn to face him. He expected for a moment to see pity in her eyes, but all he saw was understanding. She reached down and took his hand and squeezed it softly, just for a moment, before turning back down to look at the tracks.

“C’mon,” she said, pointing at the ground. “Show me how to follow these, Mr. Dixon.”

Without hesitating, Daryl crouched down and began to explain the pattern of the tracks in the grass to her and soon they were on their way again, tracking the deer deeper into the forest. The ‘I never’ game had trailed off, for now, but as they walked he found himself thinking, ruminating, trying to find a way to put into words all the things he wanted to say to say to her.

*** 

The sun had just started to set when Daryl found them a place to stop for the night. It was a little clearing with just enough space for their tent and trees they could string their cans around to give them warning. He knew they would have to take turns at watch tonight, they wouldn’t be able to sleep together the way they had been with the group, but both of them were okay with that. 

It reminded him of back before funeral home, when she’d sleep while he took watch and then after four hours, he’d wake her up and they’d switch. She almost always had slept near him; even when they’d found that cabin to stay in for a bit, complete with a bed, her choice had been to curl up down near him with the blankets instead. 

Tonight, after eating some of the canned food they’d brought with them (neither of them wanted to start a fire after their run-in with that walker), Daryl settled down in front of the tent for first watch. He wasn’t surprised when instead of climbing in to sleep, Beth curled up next to him instead. She was wrapped in a blanket but she leaned against him, and when he lifted his arm she fitted herself against his side perfectly.

Both of them seemed content to stay there in silence at first, side by side, looking up at the stars as they’d done more than once in the past. Unexpectedly, when the silence broke, it was him. “I never...” The thing he’d thought of in the woods earlier was on the tip of his tongue, and one shift from Beth at his side finally pushed it out of his mouth. “I never found someone I actually wanted to have sex with-” He hesitated just a moment, and then added, “-before the world ended.” 

He felt her turn to rest her chin on his shoulder and look up at him, but he couldn’t bear to look down just yet, until he heard her sweet voice murmur, “Me either. No points.” 

Daryl looked at her then, because he had to. The moon was lighting up her pale, sweet face, and for a moment he almost couldn’t see the scars that marked it, because she just looked so good and pure, and her eyes were fixed on his as she breathed out, “I never wanted to with anyone, before. Kissing and stuff, yeah, but... Nothing else. Daddy used to watch me so carefully, me and Jimmy. He never would have believed me if I told him I’d never wanted to try that with Jimmy. It wasn’t right. I didn’t feel it.” She lifted her hand to her heart and tapped. “In here.” 

Not knowing what else to say, Daryl just nodded. He knew what she meant, cause he had always felt the same. 

Silence fell between them again, but he didn’t look away. He just stared into Beth’s eyes and drank in all that blue, luminous in the moonlight. His fingers reached out, lightly grazing over the small white bandage she still wore, and then shifting down to tuck a strand of hair behind her ear.

Her voice was so soft that it wouldn’t have been audible beyond the circle of his arms as she breathed out, “I never knew what it felt like to fall in love with someone, before this.” 

And he couldn't speak. Because everything he had been feeling up into this point bubbled up fast and spilled over inside of him at her words. It swamped him, like a tsunami wave crashing over the shore, hitting him with every emotion he’d ever felt towards her. It was like every moment they’d shared flashed through his mind at once: 

_Her arms around him outside that cell, the sound of her footsteps as they crashed through the woods, fleeing the prison, her frantic eyes in the darkness of the trunk of that car, the way her voice was strangled when she asked him if he felt anything at all, how broken she looked at she sat there cradling that bottle of peach schnapps, the way she followed him through the woods without hesitation, the smile that crossed her lips when he handed her the crate of moonshine jars, the pain on her face when he lashed out at her, (never been drunk, never been out of Georgia, never went to jail, never had a pony never got nothing from Santa Claus never cut my wrists looking for attention), the way she felt all warm and pressed up against him from behind hold him tight, the sight of her in the moonlight filled with happy daydreams like he ain’t never seen before, the first sharp fear of losing her, (you’re gonna miss me when I’m gone, Daryl Dixon), the silhouette of her lit up by the fire as she helped him burn down the past, the first time she bent over to examine some tracks in the mud, the sight of her with his crossbow, (pretty soon I won’t need you anymore), the panic that filled him when she got caught in that trap, the weight of her on his back, (it’s a serious piggyback), the realization that maybe she was right about some things, (don’t you think that’s beautiful?), the sound of her singing voice echoing through that empty room, and god, god, the way she looked in the candlelight, the way he felt watching her, the way he’d wanted to say so much (what changed your mind?) but all he’d been able to do was stare and stare and will her (oh) to understand. And then losing her, losing her, breaking inside over losing her, feeling like the world was ending but there was just one glimmer of hope and he would chase after it until his feet gave up, and he did, he did, but he never stopped looking, never stopped trying, not until she was back in his arms again and he felt that breath on his cheek and he knew she was alive._

His mind filled with every memory since then, every cataloged smile, every press of her lips to his, every soft word and warm kiss. He remembered the other day, showing her his scars, exposing a part of her that he almost never showed anyone on purpose before. He had been terrified, he had felt this dread that she would look at him in horror or pity and push him away, but instead she had just accepted him. She had looked at him, and understood him, and told him that she would never look at him like he was anything else but _him_ , and he had never felt so right and at ease and safe in his lie. And he remembered the relief just hours before, the frantic need to kiss her until he was sure that she was okay, that she was still okay, that she would _always_ be okay. 

_I never knew what it was like to fall in love, before this._

_Before this._

_Before **this**._

He tightened his arm around her and leaned in and pressed his lips to her forehead. But it was only when he looked up at the sky and focused his gaze on them shining above, that he breathed out in a near whisper, “No points.” 

Cause he’d never known what it was like to fall in love before, either. Not until her. Before Beth, he'd never even thought love was real.

Maybe she'd made him believe in far more than he'd ever expected.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> DID I JUST GO THERE??? Yes, I did. I hope you loved this chapter as much as I loved writing it, and gosh, just look at them, I don't know, I'm emotional okay?


	19. Partners

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Beth gets her first deer, and she and Daryl share some more sweet moments.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for not posting yesterday! Socializing and the holiday season have me run ragged. I hope this chapter doesn't disappoint, it's another one where I worry it's boring, but it was a few scenes I just really wanted to do.
> 
> **WARNINGS** : Some very light blood/organs stuff (animal not human), and references to past child abuse.

_I never knew what it felt like to fall in love with someone, before this._

In retrospect, Beth had no idea what had come over her last night. Except that wasn't true, exactly, she did know what had come over her. _Daryl_. Daryl and the way he looked at her, Daryl and the way he made her feel, Daryl and the fact that she had never felt more safe and at ease and happy and _right_ than she did when she was with him. 

Like she did right now, striding side-by-side through the forest beside him. Just a day ago she had been so on edge in that house that she couldn’t breathe, could barely even _move_ , except to crawl into the bathroom and hide in the tub. Then he had found her and brought her here, and now Beth felt better than she had in a long time. Because of him. Because he looked at her and he knew what she needed and he understood her and he... he was her partner. 

(In so many meanings of the word.)

As they followed the deer tracks through the forest, Beth couldn’t seem to quiet her mind. For the first time since the hospital, though, it was entirely filled with good thoughts. Like the way he’d kissed her right on the ground after that walker had almost got her. Or the new tension that had coiled and tightened between them when she’d confessed that she’d never wanted to have sex before, and he admitted he hadn’t either. And, of course, their conversation last night, before she’d fallen asleep beside him. 

_I never knew what it felt like to fall in love with someone, before this._

_No points._

The sigh that fell from Beth’s lips had Daryl glancing over at her, and their eyes met for just a moment before the glimpse of a flash of white up ahead tore her gaze away. Instantly she was refocused, her body on edge with anticipation as they stalked slowly closer and edged around a thick bush to peer into the clearing. The moment they rounded the bush, Beth saw it. The doe stood between two trees, bent down to lip at the grass beneath her. They’d been tracking her all morning, and it was early afternoon now. The moment the doe came into view, Beth froze. They’d been tracking it so diligently and yet somehow, she hadn’t expected this moment. She didn’t know what to do.

But then she felt Daryl right behind her, his hand sliding up her back as he leaned in so his lips were right by her ear. “This one should be yours...” She didn’t reply, afraid she’d speak too loud and startle the deer they’d been tracking so well, but Daryl seemed to read the question in the tilt of her head. “S’yours. You tracked it just as much as I did. Don’t worry, I’ll help.”

Beth exhaled a sigh and then with a nod, she started to reach behind her for her own bow, only to feel Daryl shake his head. His movements were slow and steady behind her, but she wasn’t entirely sure what he was doing until he lowered his own bow slowly down in front of her. “S’got more power, less chance it’ll pull to the side.”

Of course she knew he was right, but there was something else there, too. There was a definite thrill at the idea of shooting her first deer with _his_ crossbow, and also at the fact that he’d offered it to her, that he _wanted_ her to use it. It was unexpectedly intimate, and only more so when he helped to settle the bow in her arms and stayed close behind her.

“Line up the shot,” he murmured, his voice low and rough right by her ear. “You wanna aim for the heart-lung area. Just above its front leg, an’ a little bit behind. Don’t take th’ shot till you’re absolutely sure, okay? You wanna try your best to kill it in one shot. If it runs, we gotta follow th’ blood trail, an’ walkers might get to it first.”

Beth nodded as she lifted his bow and started to line up the shot. She felt Daryl’s warm presence behind her, guiding her arms, whispering gentle instructions as she sighted on the spot he’d pointed out. “Good,” he murmured, his lips almost grazing her ear. “Breathe in and out, nice and slow. Take the shot on the exhale, but only when you feel it...”

By now she knew what to do, but the moment was still momentous and somehow, having his voice right there in her ear only made it seem more important, more intimate. Beth breathed in when he did, exhaled when he did, and her heart was beating to the same rhythm as Daryl’s where he was pressed up against her from behind. One last inhale and Beth felt it. She felt the rightness of the moment, the perfection of the shot, the complete narrowing of all her focus... and so she exhaled, and slowly released the trigger. 

The bolt sliced through the air, hitting the deer right where she’d aimed. In the few seconds that followed, Beth felt like she was holding not only her breath but the pulsing of her heart, as she waited for the deer to flee. But it didn’t. It crumbled to the ground and in an instant Daryl was moving towards it, knife raised. Beth followed after him, still clutching his crossbow, peering down in amazement at the deer on the ground. She still felt like she was holding her breath as Daryl leaned down to inspect it.

When he finally looked up at her, there was something close to a grin on his lips, like Beth had never seen before. “It’s dead. You got it in one shot, Greene.”

“Really?” Her eyes went wide and she felt this unexpected _rush_ of emotion; pride, adrenaline, euphoria. Before she could move, Daryl rose to his feet to face her, and at the sight of the same look in his eyes something inside of her gave in. She bit back a squeal as she rushed forward and into his arms. The crossbow got tangled between them until Daryl reached down to pull it away and drop it to the ground. 

As soon as her hands were free they were around his shoulders, holding herself close to him as she exclaimed, “I did it!” 

His hands came up to cup her face, looking down into her eyes as he murmured, “Yeah, you did.” His blue eyes were dark with the same thrill and rush and heat that she felt bubbling up inside of her and it seemed to only pull the two of them together. Their lips met hard, both of them leaning in at the same moment to meet in a fierce kiss. Beth felt his hands sliding down her back, fumbling with her crossbow unexpectedly. She wasn’t even sure what he was doing until the clasp came undone to carefully let her bow slide to the ground with his. Then suddenly his hands were brushing down her back and cupping her thighs, and Beth gasped into their kiss as he lifted her up and pulled her against him.

Instinct had her wrapping her arms and legs around him, holding tightly to him as the kiss deepened. Suddenly she felt him take two steps forward, and Beth’s back met with the sturdy trunk of a tree, pulling a gasp from her lips. Everything inside her seemed to go all fuzzy with heat as he pressed her back against the tree trunk, and she could feel his firm, lean body fitted up against hers. And yet, the kiss seemed to slow and deepen rather than get harder or more passionate. Daryl eased his mouth over hers as if he were relishing the taste of her, and when his hands brushed up over her hips she sighed softly into his mouth.

“ _Daryl_...” Beth breathed out his name and felt him shiver in response. His fingers curled briefly into her shirt, and the kiss broke, but neither of them pulled apart. Instead, Daryl’s forehead rested against hers for a long moment, until she felt him turn his head to graze his lips lightly up over the line of her jaw. Only when his nose nudged against her ear did she hear him breathe out in a rough little murmur, “ _Beth_...”

It was the best her name had ever sounded. 

Beth let her fingers brush up over his cheek, tracing over his rough stubble as the moment became intimate once more. She guided his head back so she could brush her lips over his, letting the kiss linger, soft and almost sweet, until she broke it with a hum.

“Gotta go field dress your doe,” Daryl murmured. Beth was pleased to hear the hint of thickness in his voice that told her he was just affected as she was, right now.

“I know,” she whispered back, brushing her lips over his one more time. “S’just so nice, like this.” 

She didn’t expect him to answer, so when he breathed out a low chuckle and murmured, “Yeah, it is,” Beth just smiled. 

They stayed there like that for another moment, forehead to forehead, until Daryl sighed. “Dunno what you do to me, Greene.”

Beth just grinned. “S’okay, I don’t know what you do to me, either. But I like that we’re just sort of... Stumbling though it together.”

With an ‘mm’ of reply, Daryl stepped back and let Beth’s feet find the ground again. She didn’t want to pull away, even though she knew she had to, and she couldn’t resist leaning against him for just a moment, resting her hands on his solid chest.

It was almost a full minute before Daryl leaned slowly down and scooped up her crossbow, fixing the strap before sliding it over her chest. The movement had him tugging her against his chest and looking down into her eyes with a slow smile as he settled the bow against her back. “Time to learn how to dress a deer, Greene.”

Well she wasn’t gonna back down from that. After all, she’d killed walkers before, she could dress a deer! Of course that was easier said than done, but Beth didn’t back down. She was right there beside him, wide-eyed but listening to everything Daryl said, even if she had to fight down any unexpected hints of queasiness as he showed her how to begin cutting. Despite everything, Beth knew it was worth it when she was down on her knees beside him, pushing the intestines back inside to allow Daryl to finish making the cut up to the sternum. He looked over at her just then, and his eyes were dark at the sight of her sitting there with her hands inside the belly of the deer she’d brought down with him. She was surprised to see that look in his eyes, paired with a faint smile on his lips.

A smirk twitched across her own lips as she nudged him with his arm. “You finding this attractive, Mr. Dixon?”

She’d expected him to grunt or snort or just roll his eyes at her, but instead his voice was a bit low as he murmured, “Actually, yeah.” He ducked his head in embarrassment, but added, “You look good, dressin’ a deer. Ain’t somethin’ I ever thought I’d see.”

“Yeah, well.” Beth grinned and nudged her arm right back against his. “I’m just full of surprises. Now come on, Dixon, show me how to finish this.”

Soon he had her using her knife to cut out the bladder, entrails, and other innards to set aside. “Gonna have to burn them, just in case,” Daryl remarked as she set them aside where he showed her to. “Could leave ‘em, but we don’t wanna be attractin’ walkers anywhere near us. Alright-” She heard him break off to look at her blood-stained hands, and then he shook his head and gestured. “C’mon, let me show you how to get out the heart and lungs.” 

A few minutes and a few careful cuts later, and they were rolling the carcass over to drain out what blood they could, as Beth added the lungs to their pile of extras. “Should save the heart and liver, if you have something to carry them in,” Daryl remarked as he watched her, rising to his feet. “They’re good to eat. Lots of iron.” 

Beth rose to her feet, holding the heart and liver in her hands as she moved towards him. But just a few steps away from him, Daryl looked up, and the _heat_ in his eyes as he watched her had her coming to a complete stop.

“Lord, Beth.” She couldn’t look away from him as he swallowed hard and took a step towards her. “Startin’ to think its dangerous, goin’ huntin’ with you. Ain’t no way it’s fair, what seein’ you like this is doin’ to me.”

“Yeah, but...” She took a step closer, a little smile tugged at her lips as she knelt down by his bag, just a foot away from him. “You don’t wanna hunt with anyone else, do you?”

Daryl only hesitated a moment before taking a step forward and going to his knees in front of her. “Never,” he replied softly, reaching into his bag and pulling out a plastic bag he’d taken from the kitchen of the cabin, just in case they got a deer. He took the heart and liver carefully from her, sliding it into the bag without breaking Beth’s gaze. As he set it aside, he murmured, “An’ I don’t wanna go huntin’ on my own anymore, either.”

Beth’s eyes were just as riveted to his as Daryl’s were to hers, not breaking away as he reached into his bag and pulled out one of the bottles of water they’d filled earlier today at a stream. Without looking away from her, he began to gently splash water onto her blood-stained hands, pulling a cloth from his bag and using it to scrub her hands clean.

It felt like she couldn’t breathe again, only it was nothing like the other times. There was no panic, no fear. Rather than feeling like the air had been stolen from her, Beth felt like... like breathing didn’t _matter_. It wasn’t important, not when he was so close to her and they were looking into each other’s eyes, and he was so gently taking care of her like this, until both of her hands, as well as his own, were as clean as he could get them. 

Her breath hitched in her throat as he reached up and cupped her face and drew her in for a slow kiss that was all softness and parted lips and shared sighs. By the time he pulled back to look into her eyes, Beth was breathless. She reached out to him, because it was all she wanted to do, and gently curled her fingers into his shirt as their foreheads rested together. All those emotions kept swirling up inside of her, threatening to overwhelm her, but when she was close to him it was like... he anchored her. He kept her safe; let her feel the emotions without being overwhelmed by them.

Beth couldn’t help but wonder if she was the same for him. 

For a few minutes they just knelt there together, forehead to forehead, her fingers curling into his shirt and his hands resting on her thighs, until finally he sighed and nudged her head up. “C’mon. Time to get that doe back to the house.” 

“Do we have to?” But Beth was smiling as she got to her feet and tugged him with her. “I know, I know, we’re too good to walk off into the woods together with this deer, and never look back.”

Being there with him in the woods, though, almost made her wish they weren’t so good.

*** 

It had taken most of the rest of the day to bring the deer back. Daryl had had the foresight to bring a tarp with him in his bag, but for a while he’d just carried the doe on his shoulders. Looking at him like that, Beth could understand why he’d found it so oddly attractive to watch her dress that deer, back in the clearing in the woods. There was something about him striding through the woods, easily carrying that deer right across his shoulders, his arm muscles bulging with the strain… it was incredibly attractive to her and had her blushing as they walked.

Eventually it began too much for him to carry all the way back, so they lowered the doe onto the tarp and both took a corner to drag it through the forest, heading back home. As much as they both wanted to stay in the woods another night, Daryl had said it wasn’t safe to stay out with the carcass, and she knew he was right.

But she couldn’t help suggesting after a few minutes of silence, “Maybe we could still sleep in the tent tonight. Outside the house?” She darted a glance at him and gave him a shy smile. “It’d be nice. And safe, you know? With people on watch. We could set it up in front of the house, away from the woods...” 

When he just hummed in agreement at first, a playful little grin flashed across Beth’s lips. “I’ve never kissed someone in a tent before...” 

The playful allusion to their game yesterday seemed to surprise a faint smile out of Daryl, who chuckled as he looked over at her. “No points. Me either.” 

Beth grinned at that and dropped her gaze down, watching her feet for a moment before she found herself adding, “You know, I think you won yesterday, and you haven’t officially collected your reward yet. How about tonight?”

After a long moment of silence, Beth darted a glance over at him just in time to hear him reply, “Deal.”

*** 

Everyone was so happy when they got back with the deer that it made Beth feel even more proud of what they’d accomplished. (It was definitely a _they_ thing; hunting the deer, bringing it down, dressing it, had all been a partnership in her mind.) The two days in the woods had done wonders for her ability to handle the large group, too, although Beth still found herself more comfortable staying outside than inside.

Daryl had gone off to start a fire and burn up what they weren’t using of the deer, a safe distance from the house. Beth had been planning on going with him, as she went everywhere with him, but Judith had gotten all fussy again and refused to let anyone else put her down to sleep. By the time she’d gotten the baby to nap, Daryl was well in the middle of his fire, so Beth decided to stay outside and wait for him. 

She wasn’t hiding so much as just enjoying the fresh air still as she sat on the bench on the porch with her new journal in her lap. It had been a little while since Daryl had gotten it for her, but Beth had never been able to bring herself to write in it. Every time she’d tried, it had just hurt too much. Until today, it seemed. Though she couldn’t bring herself to write in it the way she had once, detailing each moment of her day, other old habits were coming back to her… like the whispered words of poetry or lyrics, looping through her mind as she scribbled them gently down.

_Just close your eyes_  
 _The sun is going down_  
 _You’ll be alright_  
 _No one can hurt you now._  
 _Come morning light_  
 _You and I’ll be safe and sound._

The creaking sound of the side-door opening pulled Beth out of her lyrical thoughts, and she looked up to see Rick stepping onto the desk with his gun loose in his hand. “Hey,” Beth said, her smile distracted as she gently set her pen down in the crease of her journal. “Your turn for watch?” Michonne had been out with her for ten minutes or so before at the tail end of her watch, the pair of them just content to enjoy the quiet together. Beth liked that Michonne never pushed anyone to talk, although she didn’t feel any bitterness at Rick being out here, now. She didn’t feel that sense of panic, either, which was always a relief.

“Yep. Good thing,” Rick said with a chuckle, “Better out here than in there, smelling that venison and wishing it’d cook faster.” 

Closing her journal and settling it her lap, Beth gave a little laugh of her own. “I know what you mean. I can smell it through the door every once in a while, and even that is distracting.” She looked through the window on top of the door, where she could just see Carol bent over the big black stove in the kitchen. “It’s a good thing this place has a wood stove. I can’t remember the last time we cooked something that wasn’t just over an open fire.”

(That wasn’t entirely true. She could remember the prison, after all, though it made her frown still to think about it. The prison only made her think of her Daddy.)

“It’s a good place,” Rick remarked as he settled his arms on the railing. Beth studied him a little in the light from the setting sun, seeing the lines on his face and the gray that peppered his beard now. He was quiet for a few minutes before he cast a glance over at her, hesitating before he finally went on, “I think Carl really likes it here.”

Beth pursed her lips for a moment, remembering the sight of Carl playing on the grass with Judith when she and Daryl had come back from hunting earlier. He’d been mid-laugh, Judith cooing in his arms and throwing her hands up, and it had just been the perfect thing to come home to. The memory had a smile on Beth’s lips as she nodded back at him. “Yeah, I think he does, too. I think… it’s good for him, having a chance to relax.” 

There was that hesitancy in Rick again that Beth could see in the shifting lines of his body; like something was bothering him, but he wasn’t sure whether he should bring it up or not. Beth wasn’t gonna push him, she never really pushed. She just sat there, quiet but open, inviting him to talk if he needed to. 

“I worry about Carl,” Rick said after a long moment, drawling his son’s name the way he always did. “After everything we’ve been through. Everything _he’s_ been through.” 

Sensing he didn’t want input just yet, Beth gave an ‘mm’ in response; almost like Daryl, but with more warmth to it, just letting Rick know she was there and listening.  
“As much as I’d like to pretend he’s okay, I can’t really. I wouldn’t be a good father if I did that.” Rick sighed, and ran his fingers through his ragged hair. “The problem is, he just won’t talk to me. And I get that, cause…”

“Cause he’s a teenager,” Beth remarked softly, a little smile on her lips as she added, “A teenage _boy_ , at that. And you’re his Dad. As much as he loves you, it’s probably not always easy to talk about things like that with you.” She tried not to reveal that Carl had already come to talk to her about this. Beth cared for Rick and Carl both, but she didn’t want to break either of their trust.

“Exactly,” Rick replied with a sigh. He went quiet for a long moment, drumming his fingers on the railing. “I feel guilty, asking this of you, after everything you’ve been through yourself.” He glanced over at Beth were she was still sitting on the bench, her knees drawn up and her eyes on him. “Could you just… keep an eye on him? Or…” He sighed again. “I dunno.” Rick’s gaze fell to her again, lingering this time as if he were studying her, and when he spoke again his voice was softer. “People talk to you, Beth. Part of it is that you’re a good listener, but there’s more to it. You just have this way of understanding people, and knowing what they need. I wish I’d realized sooner, how important that is.”

Beth felt a bit flustered by his words. She didn’t try to deny it exactly, but she did duck her head and shrug a little as her fingers fiddled with the journal in her lap. Rick must have seen some sort of doubt in her expression, because he added after a moment, “You’ve been that for me before. For others, too. Carl, after Lori…” He shook his head. “And Daryl.”

It was Daryl’s name that got Beth to look up at him, a shy soft smile on her lips. “Daryl’s been just as good for me.”

“I know.” He chuckled, but she didn’t fail to notice the way he tilted his head slightly and smiled at the expression on her face. “Never would have expected it, but I haven’t been oblivious to that, either.” 

A blush stole across her cheeks at his words, cause she thought he was hinting at more than Daryl just being someone for her to talk to and feel safe with. Beth’s arms tightened around her knees, but she was still smiling as she looked out across the railing and watched the sun setting slowly behind the tree time. Rick’s silence matched her own for a few minutes, until he finally ventured, “I just want Carl to have someone to talk to, if he needs it. If it can’t be me, there’s no one I’d trust more than you to help him, Beth. You’ve got that way with understanding and knowing what to say, and I mean that. I might have failed to realize the importance of it in the past, but I don’t anymore.”

At first she didn’t reply. But after a few moments, Beth reached out and curled her finger around his forearm to give him a gentle and reassuring squeeze. “Carl will be okay, Rick. He’s strong, and he _wants_ to be okay. Wanting to be okay is the first step.” It had been her first step, after losing her mother and Shawn, after nearly killing herself back at the farm house. The glass had sliced into her arm and in that moment, she’d just _wanted_ so badly to be okay, to survive. That had been the spark she needed.

After a moment, her hand drew back and her voice sounded a bit lighter as she suggested, “Maybe we could stay here, just for a little bit longer. Sasha and Father Gabriel and Eugene could use more time to heal.” She paused, and then looked up at him as she added understandingly, “And Carl likes it here. It’d give us all some time to relax. You know…” Her gaze strayed back to the pond, the tranquil water of it reflecting the changing colors of the sky. “He mentioned to me, wanting to learn more about survival type stuff. Tracking and hunting, and how to use a knife. If we stayed here a bit, it might give me and Daryl some time to show him a few things.” She left unsaid that it might also give Carl time to open up to her, if he wanted. “If you trust me and Daryl to keep him safe and teach him, that is.” 

Rick was quiet, but only for a moment, before he reached down and gently squeezed her shoulder. “Of course I trust you. Both of you.” There was a second or two of pause, and then he said more softly, “We really are glad to have you back, Beth. All of us. But especially Daryl. The way he was, when he thought you were gone… I’d never seen him like that before.” Rick shook his head slowly, and drew back his hand. “And you know, I don’t think I really understood it until I saw him with you again and I realized why he missed you like that.”

Her cheeks were hot as she rested her chin on her knees and kept herself looking out over the hill and pond, instead of at Rick. “He cares about me,” she said softly. Beth knew that didn’t cover the depth of it, but that depth was between and Daryl only. No one else could understand, not really. 

In some way though, Rick seemed to get it. His voice was low as he admitted, “He was like a ghost, when you were gone. I’d never seen him like that, not even after he lost his brother.” Rick sighed. “But I want you to know, when I say I’m glad you’re back, it’s not just because of that. _I’m_ glad to have you back with us, too. Because you’re family… and we need you. We really do.” 

Beth looked over him at last, and reached up once more to curl her fingers around his arm. “We all need each other, Rick. That’s what family is.” 

His eyes met hers, steel holding blue, until a faint smile tugged at his lips. “See what I mean? You always know the right thing to say, Beth. You’re... kind of like the heart of this family. Same way your father was.”

The mention of her Daddy hit her unexpectedly, and Beth found herself breathing in a ragged breath. Seeing her, Rick reached out to gently squeeze her shoulder, his thumb brushing over her shirt. He opened his mouth to speak again, but whatever he’d intended to say, it was interrupted by the faint screech of the screen door as Sasha popped her head outside. “Hey guys, dinner is ready!” Her mischievous brown eyes fixed on Beth as she teased, “You’d better go fetch your boyfriend, Greene.” 

Beth just smiled. “He’s not my boyfriend,” she replied easily as she climbed to her feet with a stretch. 

“Then what is he?” Sasha asked playfully, coaxing a faint little chuckle from Rick as well.

As if he’d heard them, or perhaps sensed Beth’s need for him, Daryl appeared from the side of the house where he’d been burning up the remnants of the deer they weren’t going to use. Beth’s eyes met his, and a soft happy smile curved up her lips before she shrugged and said simply, “He’s my… Daryl.” 

The pair of them just smiled at each other and shrugged, but to Beth, that said everything.

*** 

That night, as promised, Daryl helped Beth set up their tent outside against the front of the house, looking out over the hill and the pond. Daryl had decided it was the safest place, since it was equidistant from the woods on either side and the people standing watch above would be able to warn them if any walkers showed up; that was, if they didn’t hear the cans clanging a warning by some chance. 

Full on venison steaks and potatoes and canned carrots, the two of them were curled up together inside the tent, lit by one of the lanterns they’d found in the basement of the home. Daryl was sitting up with his legs stretched out, and Beth was tucked between them with her back against his chest and his arm loosely around her waist. In her lap, she held the book that he’d found in Atlanta, and they were carefully going through a chapter together as they did together most nights. 

It was always a quiet and very private affair. Mostly she would read softly out loud, because it was too hard for Daryl to do so. Sometimes he’d point out something that he thought was important, and she’d highlight it for him. Other times, more rarely, she was the one who found something important to highlight. 

There were times that were more emotional than others. The beginning chapters had occasionally brought up memories that Daryl would share with her, whispered in the darkness until her heart ached. She’d never speak, because she had learned that he didn’t want her to. All he’d ever wanted was for her to listen and hold him, and understand.

The chapter they were on now, however, was more about the symptoms and the treatment. Tonight they were carefully doing over the list of some symptoms, highlighting things that applied to him, like ‘emotional reactivity’, and ‘difficulty getting back down to baseline’. Daryl hadn’t asked her to highlight ‘coping through excessive use of alcohol and drugs’, but he had lingered on that phrase, and she’d known he was thinking of his brother, wishing that he couldn’t helped him more. It was the ‘interpersonal problems’ section where they’d both noticed that Daryl had the most issues, like ‘sensitivity to criticism’ and ‘difficulty standing up for oneself’. When she read gently over ‘difficulty with intimacy and trust’, his arm tightened a bit around her, and Beth felt his lips press to her neck.

She let the highlighter relax in her lap as she leaned back against him a bit. “Me too,” she murmured, answering his unspoken statement. “Except with you.” Beth frowned faintly. “You know… half the symptoms in here that don’t describe you, describe me instead” Which made sense, given the box she was reading contained symptoms of PTSD, too. Tilting her head back against his chest, Beth read: “Re-experiencing symptoms like nightmares, flashbacks, intrusive thoughts… avoidance of things that produce reminders of trauma… tendency to dissociate under stressful circumstances… engaging in self-injurious behaviors like self-cutting...”

Her voice trailed off at the last bit, and she felt Daryl’s fingers slip under her bracelets so that the pads of them grazed over her scars. “Not anymore,” Daryl murmured, his voice low in her ear. 

“No. Not since that one time.” And she knew that was separate, although maybe the trauma she’d gone through after losing her mother had been a springboard of sorts for how her experiences at the hospital had affected her. 

Daryl’s thumb continued to gently brush back and forth over her scar as he reached out and nudged the book closed. “We’re a pair, aren’t we?” 

Sliding the book off her lap, Beth turned her head just enough to nuzzle against the crook of his neck. “I think we’re a good pair. Messed up individually, maybe, but still a good pair together.”

“Mm.” His lips pressed lightly to her temple, coaxing a soft smile to her lips.

“Sasha called you my boyfriend, today,” Beth whispered into the quiet of the tent. She waited for the tensing in his body, and when it didn’t come, she pressed a soft little kiss to his neck.

His voice was gruff, but she heard a hint of curiosity in it as he asked, “What’d you say?” 

“I told her you weren’t my boyfriend,” she murmured, making sure not to hesitate (not to give that time to hurt him in any way), before she added, “I said you’re my _Daryl_.” Beth shrugged, and kept her face tucked against his neck. “Boyfriend just sounded wrong. It didn’t sound like us. We’re… we’re not just that, you know? We’re partners.” Her eyebrows knitted together briefly. “Right?”

There was only a second or two of silence before his lips pressed to her temple again. “Dixon and Greene,” he said lowly. His lips rested against her skin, and he hesitaed just a moment before he added, “Not just partners in crime, though.”

“No.” Beth’s fingers brushed over his arm where he had it slung across her stomach. “ _Partners_. In every sense of the word.”

His ‘mhm’ of reply said everything Beth needed to hear. She lingered there for just a moment, and then shifted to turn in his lap to face him. Settling on her knees between his splayed legs, Beth lifted her hand to curl her fingers lightly through his dark hair and tuck it behind his ear. “Still owe you that kiss,” she breathed out, her eyes hopeful and bright where they found his, even in the darkness.

“Well?” A smirk tugged at his lips. “What’re you waiting for, Greene?”

Beth just laughed softly. “I have no idea.” 

So she leaned in and brushed her lips softly over his. At first the kiss was sweet and gentle, until she parted her lips against his to gradually deepen it. The first taste of him had her leaning in closer, her fingers reaching up to curl against his cheek as she felt his own hand, rough and big, tangle gently into her hair where it was loosely pulled back into a ponytail. Every time they kissed, she felt a slow burning heat begin to flush her body, and it was no different this time. It filled her veins, it curled low in her belly, it had her cheeks all pink as she leaned into him, unwilling to break the kiss just yet.

When she felt his free hand brush down her back, Beth instinctively tried to move closer, only to make a frustrated little noise against his mouth when she couldn’t get as close as she wanted. The noise had Daryl breaking the kiss so tease her in a thick voice, “Getting’ greedy there, Greene?” 

She smiled, knowing he was being playful, but she couldn’t resist breathing out, “I just wanna be close to you, Daryl. All the time. But especially right now.” 

His arm wrapped around her back unexpectedly, and Beth heard a low growl deep in his chest before he began to turn them over together. Catching on, she moved with him, their legs tangling for a moment and pulling a giggle from her lips before they got the hang og it and he settled her on the blankets beneath him.

“Can’t say no to you.” His voice was gruff and low, but she saw the amusement in his eyes.

“Never?” Beth questioned him playfully as she brushed her hands up over his chest, tugging him down a little closer.

Daryl’s hand was pressed to the bottom of the tent right next to her head, keeping him up and over her as he looked down into her eyes. “Never.” 

She sighed and arched up, feeling the hard lines of his body pressing firmly down against her soft, small curves. “I might have to use that to my advantage, Dixon.” 

There was just enough time to see the wicked smirk cross his lips, and then he was kissing her again. This time it was even headier, with the warm weight of his body right above hers, and the firmness of his chest beneath her splayed hands as she arched gently up into him. One of his thighs slipped between her legs, pressing their bodies even closer as their lips parted in a deep, slow kiss. 

Beth felt almost like they stayed that way for hours, legs tangled together, wrapped up in each other’s heat, tasting each other in slow kisses and the occasional curious (if shy) dip of her tongue into his mouth. Eventually he broke the kiss, and she couldn’t help but notice the ragged quality of his breathing as he hovered above her and pressed soft kisses across her cheek to her ear instead. 

She knew that some part of both of them wanted more, she could feel it in the way her body arched into his or the way his breath got all rough and ragged as he kissed her. She also knew that they weren’t ready, not yet. But that was okay. Everything was okay, when she got to lay like this with him, the taste of him on her tongue. 

Against her ear, Daryl breathed out roughly, “Swear, kissin’ you like this is gonna kill me, Greene. Or both of us.” 

She just smiled. “No, it won’t.” She brushed her lips over his cheek and turned them both gently until they were curled side by side, her leg pressed between his and his arm around her to hold her tightly to his chest. “It’s how we know we’re living.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The convo with Rick is inspired by something I saw on tumblr, recently, about what Beth is to the group and what her real strengths are. She is strong physically of course, but her real strength is in how she understands people and always seems to know the right thing to say (to Carol, Michonne, Rick, Carl, Daryl, etc.) I think she genuinely is the heart of their group, and I wanted to show that with someone other than just Daryl. Next chapter will also feature some interactions with other characters, fun fun, but don't worry there will be sweet Bethyl stuff.
> 
> The song that Beth is "writing" is actually [Safe and Sound](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RzhAS_GnJIc) by Taylor Swift & The Civil Wars. Pretty sure it came out after the apocalypse, so I'm pretending Beth wrote it for this. Or is in the process of writing it, anyway. It reminds me of her and Daryl.
> 
> Oh and the section on the abuse book is real stuff from the actual book Daryl took in the TV show. (Yes, I found it on Amazon and skimmed through some of the preview-able pages to find some relevant stuff.)


	20. We Belong Together

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Carl gets a useful lesson for once, Maggie opens her mouth but only _somewhat_ inserts her foot, and Beth and Daryl are more and more obviously meant to be together.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am not gonna lie, I was hopped up on an energy drink writing this chapter, so I hope it makes sense! I'm pretty sure it does, and I actually really liked how it turned out. I hope you all do, too!

If given the choice, Daryl wasn’t sure he would have picked all of the people that had ended up on the scouting trip with him. Or at least, not two of them. Beth would obviously always have been his first choice, and these days everyone seemed to consider it a given that if you sent one of them out, you sent both of them. No one even questioned it, anymore. It had been a gradual process, but at some point they’d all just stopped asking or looking surprised, and it had just become the normal.

It was Beth who had suggested that Carl come along, and Daryl hadn’t protested that. He liked the kid, even if he could be a bit of a brat on occasion; it was expected, all things considered. At his age, most kids would have been brats, and that was without all the shit Carl had gone through. Besides, he of all people knew Beth could (and would) be good for the kid. All he had to think about was how good she’d been to him, to understand what affect she could have on someone like Carl. 

When Rick had suggested that Glenn and Maggie join them, however, Daryl hadn’t been pleased. Glenn he supposed he didn’t mind; they’d been friendly for a long time now, although things had been awkward between them recently because of Maggie. He and Maggie hadn’t said a word to each other since that night when she’d gone off on him about Beth, and frankly, he had no desire to speak to her. To be honest, his annoyance with her wasn’t even really because of what she’d said to him. People had always said shit about him; he was used to it. No, what really bothered him was how she had treated her sister, and how Beth was still so clearly affected by it. He knew the two of them were trying to make overtures again, but it worried him. Maggie seemed to have a real talent for going off and saying the wrong thing, and Daryl didn’t doubt that if (or when) she hurt Beth again, he’d want to do something about it. 

But the members of their little scouting party had been chosen by Rick, who hadn’t changed his mind despite the glare Daryl had given him; which was how he found himself walking through the woods with Maggie, Glenn, Beth, and Carl. The plan was to scope out some of the houses that surrounded their current residence, over the next few days. Whether they decided to stay longer, or left soon, they would need the supplies they might find. It had been Daryl’s suggestion to make the runs; he just wasn’t so fond of certain people who had come along for the trip. 

Luckily he had plenty of practice just ignoring people, and he had found recently that Beth’s ability to read his silent signals meant he could rely on her to communicate with other people, unless he was forced to do otherwise. As they walked, Daryl and Beth and Carl in the lead with Maggie and Glenn behind them, Daryl cast an appreciative glance over at Beth, thinking about how good she always was at knowing what he needed. He’d never in his life had anyone like her around, and sometimes he thought it was almost too good to be true. But then she’d look at him, like she was right now, and her smile would light up her face, and he’d forget anything to do with her being ‘too good’ for him, because there was nothing he wanted more than to soak up every bit of that goodness. 

Like the way her eyes lit up as she spotted something ahead on the ground and called back, “Carl! Come look at this!” The boy, who had been trailing along beside her with a look of enthusiasm Daryl wasn’t sure he’d seen on him in months, hurried to catch up as Beth dropped into a crouch. “See these? They’re rabbit tracks.” 

The corner of Daryl’s lips quirked up in a hint of a smile as he slowed behind them, watching as Carl mimicked Beth’s crouch and tipped back his hat to peer down at the marks. “How d’you know?” The boy asked, furrowing his brow. “It just looks like, I dunno… like random marks in the dirt.” 

Patiently, Beth brushed a few leaves out of the way and then gestured again, “Sometimes it does, yeah. But eventually you learn what to look for, and what the different tracks look like.” Daryl couldn’t help hearing the echo of his own words in her voice as she went on, “See how there’s these two small depressions in the ground right here? And then here, these two longer ones? Well, how do rabbits move?”

Carl looked up at her, forehead faintly wrinkled in thought. “They hop, right?”

“Mm.” Beth smiled. “Their back feet are bigger, so they push off them when they move, and that’s why you see this little drag on the bigger steps. And see how the two little feet aren’t side by side exactly, one is a little in front of the other? That’s called an _offset bound_.” 

Hearing her say that put a smile on Daryl’s lips. He remembered the first time he’d taught her that, as they walked through the forest together, always moving, always looking for the next place to stay the night. She’d murmured _offset bound_ to herself over and over, presumably until she’d memorized it. He hadn’t realized fully at the time just how cute it was. (Granted back then, he’d never been the type to think anything was ‘cute’. He still wasn’t, except apparently when it came to Beth Greene.) 

“So if we were tracking this rabbit,” Beth went on, “We’d keep looking for its tracks like this and following them, and hopefully we’d catch up to it.”

Carl’s eyes brightened. “Can we track it now?”

When Beth looked over her shoulder at Daryl, he shrugged his shoulder and then glanced briefly back at Maggie and Glenn, who were coming to a stop behind them. 

“Maybe after we clear the houses, if it’s not too late,” Beth replied to Carl as she pushed up from her knees and rose to her feet. “ _But_ , while we walk, you should look for more rabbit tracks. Maybe it’s going the same way we are. Plus it’s good practice. You have to look at everything and learn to see the big picture, or so _someone_ once told me.”

The smile she flashed over her shoulder at him made Daryl chuckle as he started to walk again, leading the way through the woods to the nearest house. His arm brushed lightly against Beth’s as they moved side-by-side, a silent compliment to her attempts to teach Carl how to track. He could feel the weight of glances on them from behind, but Daryl didn’t turn to look and see which of them it was, not even when he heard Glenn speak up and say, “What kind of animals have you learned to track, Beth?”

Unlike Daryl, who was feeling a little tense and gruff, Beth turned easily to look over her shoulder with a soft smile. “Mostly rabbit and squirrel, and deer of course. I know walker tracks now, too.” She shrugged at that, her brow furrowed, but then a mischievous light entered her eyes. “ _Once_ I thought I was tracking a bear.” She bumped into Daryl with a little grin, and joked, “But it turned out someone was just messing with me.” 

Daryl snorted with amusement, and teased back in a rough, low voice, “Coulda been a bear, you don’t know.” 

He missed the eyebrow raises that Beth’s little giggle earned from behind them, though he didn’t miss Carl’s wide-eyed look as he asked, “Are there really bears in these woods?” Daryl couldn’t resist another little snort, though he cut it off when Beth elbowed him in his side. 

“Prob’ly not,” he said gruffly after a moment, though a little smirk crossed his lips as he teased, “But you’d better stay close, just in case.” 

The amusement stayed with him as they made their way through the woods, mostly quiet except for Beth’s occasional aside to Carl, who was trying his best to spot rabbit tracks as they walked. If he and Beth had been alone, he would have stuck closer to her. With company, he was content to just watch her as they walked, to let his eyes occasionally drift to her and see her looking over at him with that sweet smile. They didn’t need to be like Maggie and Glenn, all hand-in-hand or kissing in front of everyone. Daryl had always been a private person to begin with, and he and Beth’s relationship was something very private and personal to them, too. He liked that, although that usual desire for privacy didn’t stop him from watching her, or from faintly smiling when she’d drift back to brush up against him for a moment.

Eventually he caught sight of a clearing up ahead, where another small house sat surrounded by a low fence. Daryl raised his hand and Beth instantly slowed beside him, with Maggie and Glenn and Carl just a second behind. At Daryl’s signal, Beth was already sliding her crossbow around to settle it into her hand. The pair of them moved almost at the same time, Daryl manually drawing back his crossbow to cock it, and Beth using her crank to pull it back until they stood in a smooth motion and settled their bows.

The snicker behind him didn’t go unnoticed, and when Daryl flashed a glance backward with a raised eyebrow, Glenn shrugged. “What? It’s like you two are a well-oiled machine. Like action heroes or something. Superheroes!”

Beth giggled away beside him and flashed Daryl a grin as she teased, “Daryl’s cool with it as long as there are no capes. He hates capes.”

“Why?” Carl asked, a grin on his lips.

“Cause they’d get caught on everything-”  
“Damn things would get caught-”

Daryl spoke at the same time Beth did, only to break off seconds behind her, their eyes meeting before Beth burst into giggles again. Daryl just shook his head and lifted his bow, but there was laughter in his eyes as he pointed ahead. “C’mon. Gotta clear the place.” He looked at Beth and nodded with his bow to the door. “Me, Beth, an’ Carl will take the front.” Daryl gave a quick glance over his shoulder and then added a bit more roughly, “You two can get th’ back.”

He thought Maggie might say something, but she just nodded and Glenn quickly followed suit, and the pair of them made their way around the side of the house together; Glenn with Rick’s machete, and Maggie with a knife since no one wanted to risk calling more walkers to them by using guns. 

Beth meanwhile turned to Carl, who was using a knife she’d borrowed for him from the weapons stash. “Now remember,” she said firmly, in a voice Daryl sometimes thought of as her ‘teacher voice’. “You don’t wanna just lunge in and try and stab them. Small people like us, we might just get toppled over.” She smiled. “It’s happened to me before, anyway. You wanna try and knock ‘em down, first. The best way I’ve found is to aim for the knee, kick ‘em right on it. Most of them will go right down, then you can lean over and stab them in the head. Right Daryl?”

Without Maggie and Glenn hanging around, Daryl felt more comfortable being chatty. Or at least, his version of chatty. “S’right. Sonofabitches got weak-ass knees, they’ll go right down.” He noticed the look Beth gave him, presumably for ‘weak-ass’ (or maybe sonofabitches?) but he just shrugged it off with a smirk. “You’ll get the hang of it. Just watch Beth. She’s real good, even if she is tiny.” 

“Hey!” Beth scrunched up her nose and nudged him with her elbow. “I feel like I should be offended although that _may_ have also been a compliment?”

With a snort, Daryl just nodded them towards the front door. “C’mon, let’s go. Don’t want your sister and her boyfriend t’ have all the fun.” 

Moving side-by-side with Carl right behind them, Daryl and Beth strode almost silently up to the front door. By now, the routine didn’t even need signals. Daryl held up his bow and Beth went in and rapped hard three times, then paused to listen. When she heard shuffling inside, she looked at him, nodded, and then pulled the door open and stepped back in one smooth motion.

The first walker was taken down in one clean shot from Daryl’s crossbow, but there were two behind it; one just in the doorway and the other coming down the hallway further back. As Daryl pulled the bolt from the walkers head, he saw Beth heading for the walker in the doorway. “Watch,” he growled at Carl, nudging the boy’s shoulder and pointing. “Third one is yours, kid.” 

Daryl was on edge as always, aware of everything around them, but he couldn’t help the way a good part of his attention was on Beth right now. In moments like this, she reminded him again of one of those warrior goddesses. Every movement was smooth by now, like butter, but full of that hidden steel strength of hers. She stepped solidly into the open doorway, drew up her knee, and snapped her foot out and down in a strong kick to the walker’s knee. With her crossbow heavy in one hand, she raised her knife as the walker went down, and leaned over in a swift motion to stab it right through the skull. 

It was over in just a few seconds and then Beth was pulling her blade from the walker’s skull and turning to face them. Blood dripped from the knife, but there was a pleased smile on her lips that lit up her whole face in contrast as she turned to them and brushed a loose strand of hair away from her eyes.

Beth moved quickly, coming around behind Carl as the third walker slowly trudged into the open doorway. “You’ve got it, Carl. Aim for the knees, and then get the skull with your knife.”

It wasn’t the boy’s first kill, Daryl knew that. But he also knew that the boy usually had guns when he killed walkers, and that despite Rick wanting to keep his son alive, the man had never really trained him with face to face stuff like this. He had all the faith that Carl could do it, though. He had Beth as a teacher, after all.

The boy looked confident as he stood there, fingers curled around the handle of his knife. Carl drew in a deep breath and then, at a nod from Beth, strode forward. His movements weren’t as smooth as Beth’s were these days, but he kicked out with confidence and hit the walker right in the knee to drive it to the ground. There was only a second of hesitation as Carl instinctively took a step back from the falling walker, but then he tightened his grip on the knife and leaned in to drive it into the walker’s skull. 

“Good job!” Beth kept her congratulations to a soft voice, but there was no hiding the beaming smile on her lips, nor the matching look of pride on Carl’s face as he stood up. 

He tried to hide his grin, rather like any teenager really, but his pleasure was still obvious, even as he did his best casual stride back to them and remarked, “Sonofabitch had weak-ass knees.”

Daryl looked to Beth just in time to catch her giving him a playful glare, jabbing her finger at him as she scolded lightly, “ _You_ can explain that one to Rick, if it sticks, Dixon!” 

“What?” Daryl shook his head, but there was a faint smirk on his lips as he stepped past her. “Kid’s 14. I was sayin’ worse at half his age. Ain’t gonna kill ‘em.” 

With Carl chuckling behind him, Daryl led the way carefully into the house. His bow was cocked and raised as he quickly swept the immediate area. The front door opened into a living room, with a staircase on the left leading upstairs, and a long hallway in front of them that seemed to head down to the kitchen, from what he could see through the open archway at the end of the hall. 

Glancing at Beth, Daryl gestured to the right and the open living room. With a quick nod of understanding, Beth moved to circle the room, scanning everything just in case an injured walker was lying hidden and in wait behind the couch, or under the coffee table. Carl trailed behind her, and when they got to the closet door, Daryl saw the kid raise his knife hopefully. He could read Beth’s face almost like she was whispering in his mind; her amusement at Carl, how pleased she was by his excitement for everything they were letting him do today. She felt good, helping him out. It made _her_ feel better, to take care of him like this.

He realized, at the look on her face, that it wasn’t just Judith that brought that motherly instinct out of her. Most days with Carl she seemed more ‘big sister’ than anything else, but there was more to it sometimes. She was protective of the boy, but she also wanted to teach him to be stronger, to guide him. She cared for him, but she didn’t try to hold him back, either. She was, in some ways, what Daryl had once imagined a good mother would be like; what a real mother was _supposed_ to be like.

As he kept one eye on the hallway and staircase and one on the living room, he watched Beth as she gestured for Carl to knock on the closet door and then listen. When they heard nothing, Beth opened it quickly, bow raised, to thankfully find nothing but coats hanging inside. Silently, her and Carl returned to his side as Daryl glanced down the hallway. Everything seemed quiet, until suddenly a loud ‘bang’ broke the silence. It was coming from the kitchen, and his bow was raised in an instant, ready, prepared for whatever was going to come. 

He knew better than to have an itchy trigger finger, though, especially considering they weren’t the only people in the house. It was a good thing, too, since just a few seconds after he heard that bang, Glenn came stumbling into view as he shoved down a walker with his machete lodged into it’s skull. It slumped to the ground at the end of the hallway, and Glenn didn’t even seem to notice them until he roughly pulled the machete from the walker’s head. When he looked up, he caught sight of Daryl and Beth pointing their bows at him and instantly raised his hands (complete with dropping, bloody machete) into the air. “Whoa there. Friend, not walker, okay?” 

The sound of Beth chuckling beside him made Daryl just shake his head. “Living room’s clear,” he said gruffly as he lowered his bow a bit.

“Kitchen too,” came Maggie’s voice as she stepped up behind Glenn. “Got a door in here, looks like it goes downstairs.”

Daryl just raised an eyebrow at Beth, who took over easily, “You cover downstairs, we’ll cover upstairs?” 

Taking the lead, Daryl made his way carefully up the stairs with his bow raised. If he had to guess, he would have said the four walkers they’d already killed were all they had to worry about in here. A house like this probably wouldn’t have had that many people in it, but that was just a guess. But he wasn’t about to drop his guard and get Beth hurt. Or anyone else, for that matter. So he stayed focused as he guided them slowly up the stairs, stopping sharply to face the long hallway in front of them. There were doors on either side; two on the right and one on the left, as well as a single door at the very end. All of them except the end one were open, which was good as far as he was concerned. Open doors meant less of a chance something was hiding within.

Knowing Beth would have spotted the same thing, Daryl turned to look at her with a faint inclination of his head. Nodding understanding, Beth moved around behind him and then reached out to knock on the wall four times. He figured if there _were_ any walkers in there, they’d probably have come to the noises they’d made downstairs, but it never hurt to try. 

Nothing came out, though, not even when Beth knocked a second time. With another of those silent looks at each other, he and Beth moved side-by-side carefully down the hall with Carl behind them. Daryl took the lead at the last minute to step into the first open doorway, while Beth moved easily to cover his back. In a few quick steps he was inside what appeared to be a spare bedroom, judging by the small bed in one corner and the desk and bookshelves that took up the rest of the space. There was only one closet, which he opened and quickly cleared before turning back to Beth and Carl.

“How do you guys do that?” Carl looked back and forth at each of them, and when they both just raised an eyebrow in confusion, he went on, “Y’know. You talk but without actually talking. You look at each other, and it’s all-” He paused to nod his head and raise his eyebrow, motioning bit over-dramatically with his chin before he went on, “-and you just talk that way.”

Daryl figured he was gonna just let Beth field that one, and sure enough she replied with an easy smile, “I think it’s just practice.” 

“Oh.” Carl shrugged, and adjusted the brim of his hat. “My Mom and Dad used to do that, sometimes. Usually when they were deciding something and they didn’t want me to hear.” 

Beth smiled fondly, and gave a little chuckle. “Mine did that, too. It used to drive me nuts as a kid.” She came up in front of him and tweaked his hat with a little grin. “But I bet you and your Dad do it sometimes, too. You know, like I bet sometimes you look at him and you just _know_ what kinda mood he’s in, right? Or you know he’s remembering something, or thinking about someone?”

Carl considered that for a moment and then hummed. “Yeah, I guess.”

“Well it’s like that. Sometimes you just get used to someone enough that you can hear what they’re saying, without them actually needing to put it into words.” This time, her smile was all for Daryl, and yet again he just drank it all in.

He knew exactly what she meant. It had just snuck up on him, too. He remembered a time when he’d looked at Beth and just been baffled; as if the hopeful, _good_ thoughts in her mind were so far from his reality that he couldn’t even dream of comprehending them. Bit by bit, though, she’d shined that light onto him, letting it ease over the darkness in his own mind, and now he had a bit of that glimmer in him, too. It made it easier to understand what she was thinking when she looked all hopeful or when she smiled at him.

The rest of it, he reckoned, was just experience. After all their time spent together, was it really any wonder they could read each other so well, and move into position without barely a question needed? In his mind, it just seemed natural. 

That same natural ease stayed with them as they moved down the hallway, clearing the bathroom on the right and then the master bedroom on the other side. Walkers were the priority, so no one looked too hard at the contents of the rooms just yet, although Daryl was pleased to see that the house looked just as un-ransacked as the one they were staying in. He hadn’t been just talking out of his ass when he’d suggested they make their way through the woods and mountains instead. Even at the end of the world, no one thought to come up to places like this, unless they’d lived around places like this before the way he had. 

When the door at the hallway was the only one left unopened, Beth and Daryl silently agreed to let Carl take it. “Just like I did with the front door,” Beth murmured softly, nodding for Carl to give it a try. 

Daryl was pretty sure the thing was a closet, but that wasn’t any reason to not be cautious. Plus, the kid could use the practice. And just in case, Daryl kept his bow raised as Carl knocked a few times on the door, waited, and then pulled it open while quickly stepping aside. There was movement inside that made them _all_ flinch, until a couple blinks had them realizing it was just a bunch of poorly stacked boxed; albeit ones that swayed with the force of the door opening, almost like the gait a walker had sometimes. But it only took a second for them all to catch on, and soon Beth and Carl’s soft laughter filled the air as Daryl just chuckled and shook his head.

“C’mon.”

All he said was that single word, but Beth easily filled in the rest to Carl, “Let’s go find Maggie and Glenn, and make sure they’re all set. Then we can really go through this place. Looks like it’s gonna be a good haul. Won’t your Dad be happy?” 

He had to admit, the sight of her and Carl walking back down the hallway, both of them at ease and smiling, made him feel unexpectedly good.

*** 

Once they’d confirmed that Maggie and Glenn had cleared the basement as well, the plan was to split up and go through the house to collect supplies. Daryl had just assumed that Beth would stick with him, as usual, and that had been the case until a call from Carl upstairs had her heading off with a soft smile and a promise to be right back.

They had been in the middle of stacking all the food they could find on the small kitchen table, planning to go through it after. With just the two of them in the room, Daryl had felt comfortable chatting with her a bit, although granted, their conversations still tended to be about 70% Beth and 30% him. Even with him giving less than half of the input, the conversation had felt comparatively lively; Beth had been elaborating on her plans for Carl’s training, while Daryl occasionally interjected suggestions. When she left him alone, though, he trailed off into silence, focusing just on rummaging through the pantry next to the fridge (he didn’t even bothering opening that, not wanting to risk the rank smell of rot). The sound of footsteps behind him had Daryl turning, with a slight anticipatory smile on his lips that he wasn’t even aware of until the sight of Maggie stepping into the kitchen had it fading away.

“Beth’s upstairs,” he said roughly, turning back to the cabinet without a second look.

“Yeah, I know.” 

Daryl waited for the sound of footsteps leaving, but he didn’t hear them. When a few moments had passed without the sound of Maggie’s tread headed in the other direction, Daryl huffed out a sigh. “Y’want somethin’?” 

“Yes. No. I just...” Maggie’s voice trailed off, but Daryl didn’t respond. If she wanted to talk, she could talk. He wasn’t about to try dragging any words out of her like he cared, or something. As far as he was concerned, she was still on his shit list, and she would always be, unless someone finally knocked enough sense into her to make her stop ‘accidentally’ hurting her little sister.

He figured she’d leave, since she was being so damn quiet, so when she finally spoke again it caught him off guard for more than one reason.“Do you ever wonder what my Dad would have said, if he’d been here to see you and Beth together?”

That made Daryl freeze. He had a can in each hand and he was in the middle of rising to his feet, when the words hit him. His hesitation kept him frozen for a few seconds before he regained his composure and stood up the rest of the way. As he set the cans down on the table, he looked up at her under the dark fringe of his hair and just grunted. He’d no idea what she’d take that response as, but he didn’t much care. He didn’t think she had a right to know, anyway. It wasn’t none of her business.

(The truth was that of course he had. He’d thought about it over and over again, imagining a hundred scenarios where Hershel had been here, had seen them together, had been alive to pass judgment. The results had always surprised him in the end. Each time, the Hershel in his mind had tried to whisper in a voice similar to that of his father’s and Merle’s, telling him he wasn’t worthy, telling him that a no-good hick like him had no right touching Hershel’s perfect, angelic daughter. But the larger part of him knew that Hershel would never have spoken to him that way. Hershel looked at him with those blue eyes that were so like Beth’s, so capable not only of seeing people, but the _good_ in them. Hershel might have been upset, at first, same as he had been with Maggie and Glenn, but Daryl didn’t think Hershel would have ever called him unworthy.)

He turned back to the cabinet, but Maggie was still behind him, and he could just _feel_ her there. It was easy to imagine her impending words like the bolt loaded into his crossbow, ready to fire. 

“At first, I thought he would have hated it. A guy like you, with his daughter...” 

“A guy like me?” Daryl turned around, fire in his eyes again, but something held him back. Something that sounded a hell of a lot like Beth’s voice, whispering in his mind that it wasn’t worth it. “Maggie, I ain’t havin’ this damn conversation with you again. You don’t like me, that’s fucking fine. But it ain’t your decision to make, whether I spend time with your sister. It’s hers. It’s _ours_.”

He started to turn around and reach roughly into the cabinet again, only to hear Maggie take two quick steps forward and stammer out, “No- No, that’s not what I meant, I just-” She sighed, deep and slow. “I’m just always opening my mouth and saying the wrong damn thing, aren’t I?” 

Well he wasn’t about to disagree with that, and his soft snort made that clear.

“I’m sorry.” Her unexpected words had him turning, but only just enough so that he could see her in the periphery of his gaze. “What I meant to say was, at _first_ I thought he’d hate it, but I was wrong. I was judging you, and Daddy never would have judged you like that. He’d have seen... you know, the way Beth is with you. Like she is with no one else; relaxed and calm and _happy_. I know that’s because of you.” Maggie took a step closer, but stopped again. “And I’ve seen how you are with her, too. Making jokes, _talking_...”

“I talk.” Daryl looked up at her with a faint frown. “I ain’t mute, y’know.”

“I know.” She shifted in place, and then shrugged. “But you’re different, with her. I was coming down the stairs before and I heard the two of you. Beth was chatting away, same as she used to before... well, before everything. And you were just chatting right back at her. Or at least as close to chatting as I’ve ever heard you get.”

Daryl made a face down at the cans of food on the table that he was absentmindedly moving around in an effort to keep his hands busy. He knew what she meant, of course, it just made him uncomfortable talking about it with her. He was uncomfortable talking about it (or anything really) with anyone who wasn’t Beth, to be honest, but especially Maggie. Especially after the things she’d said before.

Apparently sensing his discomfort, Maggie sighed. “Look, all I meant was... I’ve seen the way you are, together. Once I got over my own guilt, and you know, my tendency to be a stubborn brat-” Daryl snorted, and Maggie smirked faintly. “-I couldn’t help seeing it. You’re good for each other. You work well together. I shouldn’t have gone off on you without giving it a chance, I guess. It was my fault. I was so angry at myself for failing her, for being a shitty sister, I guess I took it out on you instead.” 

If Daryl understood anything, it was misplaced anger. He’d suffered under it all his life, and had his own share of acting out on it in the past. He might not have liked it but he understood it, and so after a moment he gave Maggie a careful nod. Though it was only visible to someone who knew how to read him well, some of the tension eased from his body as he turned back to the pantry cabinet and reached in for a couple more cans. 

Her voice came quiet and careful from behind him, “You really care about her, don’t you?” 

Daryl paused for a long moment. His ‘mm’ was soft and simple, but when he turned around he looked at her, and there was far more in the look on his face than he felt comfortable getting across in words. To him, saying he cared about Beth didn’t even come close to the truth, to the depth of things he felt for her. 

“You’ll take care of her, won’t you?”

But that had Daryl shaking his head. “I would, if she needed me to, but she don’t. Beth can take care of herself.” He paused, and the memories flickered through his mind; holding her shivering body in his arms as she woke up from a nightmare, lifting her from that tub the other day and guiding her into the woods until the blankness receded from her big blue eyes. There was more, too. Like the warmth of her back against his chest the other night, as they flipped through the pages of that psychology book and Beth helped him to understand the concepts written across the pages. Or the feeling of her pressing her lips to the scar on his back and the way she’d wrapped her arms around him after, welcoming him down into her warm embrace. 

Daryl’s voice softened as he looked up into Maggie’s eyes again, just a hint of roughness in his voice as he corrected himself, “We take care of each other.” 

She held his gaze for a long moment, and then nodded. “That’s all I could hope for. That’s all _Daddy_ could have hoped for, for Beth.” 

He wasn’t sure about that. Daryl had a feeling that Hershel would have wanted the best of everything for his daughter. Daryl might not have always felt like he was the _best_ , but he was willing to try his damnedest to _become_ the best for Beth, and give her everything she could ever need. He had a feeling Hershel would have approved of that much.

*** 

Daryl was on first watch later that night, after they’d carried home their first haul in a series of spare luggage and trash bags. Beth’s presence at his side during watch was a given. It always was.

He was set up on the left side of the desk by the gazebo, and he’d only been out there for a couple minutes, standing with his bow resting on the railing, when Beth came out to join him. She had a thick blanket wrapped around her, the ends trailing behind her as she came up to settle on the bench right beside where he was standing.

She sat with her back to him, leaning comfortably back until she could rest against the side of his leg, her head tipping right back to settle against his waist. With a smile, Daryl turned a little towards her, feeling her head slid across his side to rest against his belly instead, as he lifted his hand from his side to brush over her shoulder.

“Hey,” Beth murmured, her eyes half-shut as he began to gently massage the tension from her shoulder with slow circles of his thumb.

“Hey. Y’okay?” 

She smiled up at him. “Better now. How about you?” Her eyes opened, the blue almost more crystal-like in the white light of the moon above. “I heard Maggie got you alone earlier, in the kitchen of that house.”

“You heard?” He raised an eyebrow at her.

“Mm. Carl is a total gossip.” Though she giggled, her eyes were serious as she looked up at him. He could see the concern in her eyes; it would have bothered him with anyone else, but not Beth. With her, it wasn’t nosiness or pity, it was just _Beth_. Just Beth, caring about him.

“M’okay.” He shrugged, and then started to go on, “She came in t’ tell me that she thought your Daddy wouldn’t have approved-”

He was fully planning on going on, but Beth cut him off by sitting up straight, fire in her eyes. “I swear to the lord, I will _punch her_!”

“Hey.” He turned fully towards her and reached down, gripping her shoulders and guiding her back until she was leaning against him again with her back to his thighs. Her head rested against the flat of his stomach, and he slipped his fingers under her chin to nudge her head up until he could look down into her eyes. “She _started_ to say that, then she told me she’d have been wrong. Then, you know-” He shrugged again. “-she said a lot of stuff about caring, and seeing us together, and guilt and, y’now, feelings and shit.”

“Oh, yeah. Feelings and shit.” He knew if she was teasing him she wasn’t mad anymore, and sure enough that soft smile and half-slitted gaze had returned as he looked down at her. Gently, Daryl reached to run his fingers through her hair, skating over the edge of her bandage to brush through the long, silken strands. 

“He would have been okay with us, you know.” Beth’s eyes fluttered shut, and he watched her chest rise and fall as she breathed out a sigh. “All he ever wanted was for me to be safe, and happy, and treated right. With you, I’m all that. And so much more.”

“Mm.” His fingers tangled in her ponytail for a moment, as he got distracted just looking down at her, sitting on that bench leaning back against him. The moonlight shone on the her face, making it look somehow both softer and paler, yet also illuminating the strong lines of her bone structure at the same time. She was lit up like a dream, and maybe that made it easier for him to admit, “I used to think otherwise, you know. That I wasn’t good enough. That I was too... Dirty, for you. Too dirty and broken, too dangerous. That all I’d ever do was hurt you, the way everyone in my life hurt me. I used to think that all I was good for was broken things, and that I wouldn’t ever be worthy of someone like you.”

“Daryl-” Those big blue eyes fixed on him, but he reached around and pressed his finger to his lips to cut off the words.

“ _Used_ to. Until...” He trailed off, as the memories came, rising like the tide, shining with the light of the same moon that caressed her soft, sweet face. “Until I noticed the way you smiled at me. The way you never panicked when I was around. The way you only calmed down from your nightmares when you were in my arms, or the way you always seemed to want me at your side.”

Then she smiled at him again, her whole face lit from within with a sunshine that rivaled even the moonlight above. “So you mean, until you realized the obvious?”

Daryl chuckled. “Yeah.” But his expression grew serious again as he leaned down over her, upside down practically in this position but still able to lightly press his lips to hers for just a moment. “Till I realized that you were better, with me,” He murmured against her lips, “That I was better, with you. That... maybe we’re broken on our own, but it’s easier, all of it, when we’re together.” 

When he pulled back to just look down at her, Beth breathed out a soft hum of agreement and settled back against him. He was content to stay there like that with her, one arm wrapped around her upper chest, the other absentmindedly playing with her hair as he switched his gaze from her to the ground he was keeping watch on and back again. 

“Daddy would have probably given you hell at first,” Beth murmured after several long, quiet minutes. “But eventually he’d have seen.” 

“Seen what?” 

“That we _are_ good. And we belong together.” She looked up at him again, and he knew what she was gonna say before the words even came out of her lips. “Dixon and Greene.” 

He might have known it was coming, but he’d never get tired of hearing her say it. With a smile, Daryl leaned down and brushed his lips over hers one more time, breathing out in a whisper words he’d never thought he’d hear himself say, “ _We belong together._ ”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please tell me I am not the only one who just really likes the Carl/Beth/Daryl dynamic? I don't know, I just thought it was adorable. They had this parent/kid thing going on and I love it. Plus, I think it's ridiculous that no one ever just sits Carl down and trains him, yeesh. And aww, look at Maggie not being completely awful!
> 
> There will PROBABLY not be a chapter update tomorrow, because it's Christmas Eve; I have to work half the day and then I'm spending most of the evening with my family. However, I will do my best to have one up for Christmas Day! Happy Holidays, everyone! (Feel free to check out my 12 Days of Bethyl collection, though! The final one will be going up tomorrow, hopefully.)
> 
> P.S. If you thought that they were gonna say 'I love you' at the end scene... you're not the only one. I almost did it, but then I didn't. I'M SORRY! It's not quite time yet. But gosh they are SO CLOSE.
> 
> P.P.S There are three chapter titles that are "We ..... Together". This is intentional, cause I kinda think if you read them in order, they're the story of Bethyl, haha.


	21. Like a Phoenix, Reborn

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After a first "argument", Beth and Daryl make a deal together.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> MERRY CHRISTMAS. This chapter is a special gift to you all. Please note, I've raised the rating on this fic, partially for this chapter but also for what is to come. Enjoy!

“Are you sure that’s a good idea?”

Daryl stood behind Beth in the mirror, and she could see the frown etched in the lines of his face as she tried to slide the blade of the scissors under her cast. She paused, lifting an eyebrow at his reflection, where he was watching her from under the long bangs of dark hair that fell into his eyes. “Cutting off my cast? Why not?” 

“Dunno.” His brow furrowed, and she could see him thinking it over, the gears turning in his head as he tried to find the right thing to say. Finally, he went on hesitantly, “Y’need time to heal. Don’t wanna cut it off too soon. None of us can put it back on, after you cut it off.”

“I know _that_.” Beth sighed in frustration. She wasn’t even sure where it came from; it wasn’t like he was being ridiculous or anything. “Look, my wrist feels fine, honestly Daryl. And it’s actually annoying me _more_ , keeping it on. I need to stretch my wrist, you know, let it move!”

He scruffed his palm over his face, and she could read him well enough to tell he was both concerned for her, and also baffled at her annoyance as he softly added, “I just ain’t sure, that’s all.” 

Beth groaned. Some part of her knew he was just trying to take care of her, but for some reason the itch underneath the cast seemed to be bubbling up within her, too, making her twitchy and agitated, and she couldn’t seem to help the tiny snap to her voice.

“Daryl, it’s _fine_ -”  
“I just don’t want y’ getting’ hurt-”

They spoke at the same time, and broke off together, as Daryl’s gaze instantly dropped away from hers. In an instant, the tension began to ease from Beth’s body as she breathed out a sigh, but the same couldn’t be said for Daryl. In the mirror behind her, she could see the tightness in the lines of his body, and a flash of hurt across his face, and Beth felt a twinge of guilt low in her belly. What was she doing, snapping at him? He was so good to her to begin with, not to mention she knew he didn’t do well with people being snippy or angry at him. (She could only imagine it would bother him more, coming from her.)

With a faint smile, she leaned back against him and softly murmured, “Are we really having our first argument over my cast?”

He lifted his eyes slowly to hers in the mirror again, and his eyebrows raised slightly. “Is this our first argument?”

Beth shifted in place and gave a slight shrug of one shoulder. “Well, you know… as partners, it is.” She flushed just faintly, the pink stealing across her pale cheeks. “That whole drunken scream fest we had was uh... pre-partnership, and all.” Beth could remember it well. The way he’d grabbed her and tried to force her to stab that walker, the way she’d fought free to kill it herself, the way her frustration and anger at him (and, really, all the pain she’d been holding inside since the prison) had just come bursting out of her in a torrent of angry words... she had never been like that before, never screamed or shouted or sobbed like that before at anyone. Part of it was that she’d been a bit drunk, part of it was that he’d just made her _so upset_ (both with his insults, but also the sight of seeing him in so much repressed pain), but a large part of it, she knew now, was just that Daryl could pull things out of her that no one else could.

There was a long few seconds of silence where she felt her stomach just slightly twist, and then she felt Daryl’s arm reach around her. His fingers curled around her cast, thumb stroking over the hard material as if it were her skin instead. “Was pre- losing you, too,” he murmured in her ear. When she glanced into the mirror, his eyes had that sad, almost soulful look she’d come to see more and more in him. It was the one he got sometimes when he was thinking about how they’d almost lost each other forever, how they’d been separated almost permanently. It was the one where she always knew he was remembering the sight of that car speeding away, the pain of his feet as he pushed himself to run, the sight of her blood on the floor of the hospital hallway...

“You were trying to push me away, back then,” Beth said in a hushed, careful voice. It was a night they almost never talked about, since it had happened. She worried sometimes, about pinpointing certain things about him out loud. She was always anxious she’d press the wrong button and he’d snap again, even though she’d gotten a lot better since that night at knowing where Daryl’s buttons lay. 

But he just nodded as his fingers skated lightly over her cast. She saw him mulling over his thoughts for a moment, another thing she’d noticed in him lately. He was trying more and more to get better at expressing himself, at least with her. It was something they’d been working on together a little, at night when they read that book together. After a few moments, he started, “I thought I _wanted_ to push you away, back then. I thought it would be better. Safer. Cause… if you couldn’t get close, we couldn’t hurt each other.” He sighed, and looked into her eyes again. “Stupid.”

A faint smile crossed her lips. “Maybe a little.”

Daryl shook his head and dropped his eyes from hers. “No, it was. Cause then I almost lost you, and-” He broke off with pain in his voice, and she felt him press more firmly against her back. His other hand came to rest lightly on her hip, thumb circling over her hip bone as Beth leaned back into him to try and reassure him with her warmth. Eventually he managed to get out in a low voice, “Maybe if I hadn’t been trying to keep you at a distance, I wouldn’t have lost you the way I did.”

_That_ had her brow furrowing. “Daryl. You were trying to keep me safe, that night. You weren’t trying to push me away.” If anything, that night right before she’d been taken had been the closest she’d ever felt to him; the candlelight flickering across his face as he looked so deeply into her eyes.

“Shouldn’t have sent you off like that, left you alone with your injured ankle. Should have stayed with you.” His gaze flicked up to hers under the fringe of his hair again, and there was a pain in his eyes that Beth didn’t think she’d seen since the hospital, when she’d catch him looking her like that sometimes, full of guilt. 

(One night, she’d woken up only for a few seconds, just long enough to see him gently tuck some of her hair behind her ear and whisper that he was sorry as his fingers brushed over her heavy white bandage. The next morning, she hadn’t been sure if it was a dream or not, so she’d never mentioned it, although she hadn’t forgotten either.)

“Daryl…” 

He broke in with a frown, his voice rougher and tighter as he grunted, “Ain’t just cause I think you need protection. S’cause I think we’re safer together. Stronger.” 

Beth rested her hand over his arm where it had slipped across her waist. “We _are_ stronger together. We know that, now.”

“Wish I’d known that then, instead of being an idiot,” Daryl replied gruffly, his lips turned down in a frown.

With a faint smile, she brushed her fingers across the back of his hand. “Yeah, well we’re all idiots sometimes, can’t be helped. Just like we can’t change the past, and we can’t hang onto our guilt over it forever. We’ll never know what might have happened, if we’d stayed together that night. Maybe it would have turned out worse.” Her voice was soft, but intimate in their closeness and the small space of the bathroom they were standing in. She laced her fingers lightly through his and pressed their hands together against the flat of her belly, and her eyes held his in the mirror as she murmured, “We’re here together, now. That’s what matters.” 

That furrow was in his brow again and though he nodded slowly at her, he added a little roughly, “Just don’t want you getting hurt. Don’t wanna be the one hurting you, pushing you away.” 

It wasn’t the first time she’d heard those words from him, and Beth had a feeling it wouldn’t be the last. She understood that. Given everything he’d gone through in his life and the people he’d spent most of it around, it was no wonder some part of him thought he was unworthy, or worried he might hurt her. When it came to Daryl, Beth had an unending sense of patience for moments like this; especially because in a way, it was a sign of how much he cared.

A little smile crossed her lips and she nudged back against him. “Daryl…” She squeezed his hand. “You would never hurt me. Not on purpose. I know, cause it’s the one thing you’re most afraid of. You worrying so much about it, you being so _concerned_ about it, that’s how I know how you _don’t_ want to do it.” Her mind flashed back to that day out at camp, when Maggie had cornered him and attacked him with the prospect of hurting her. She could still remember the things he’d shouted at her sister: _If y’ think I’d hurt her, willingly or otherwise, than you don’t know a damn thing about me._

Her head tipped back against his shoulder as she breathed out a sigh. “We’ve had this conversation before,” she murmured, waiting until she felt his nod before she went on, “I meant what I told you then. I know you won’t hurt me. Just like I know you wouldn’t push me away.” Not that she hadn’t worried, in the beginning. After the hospital and in the days that followed, the worry that he’d push her away had plagued here even every morning when she woke up in his arms. 

She swallowed hard, and admitted in a near-whisper, “A part of me was afraid of that, you know. For a little while, a small part of me was so sure you would push me away. Not because you wanted to, necessarily, but because… I dunno. Cause you don’t like it when people get too close. Cause you always worry you aren’t good enough. I thought… I guess I thought you’d believe that enough, convince yourself to push me away again.” 

“No.” He said the word so firmly that she raised an eyebrow and a faint little smile crossed her lips. “How could I push you away again, after…” He shook his head, but Beth didn’t need him to go on that time, to know what he’d meant. That soulful look of loss was back in his eyes again and it was mirrored in her own as they both remembered the pain of losing each other, the constant awareness of the ache of absence.

“I know,” she whispered, turning her head away from the mirror to nuzzle her nose just underneath his jaw. “I don’t wanna lose you again, either. I couldn’t ever push you away, not after that.” 

His hum of agreement confirmed that she’d spoken what was in both their minds, as did the curl of his fingers against her stomach as he tugged her back against him. They’d never push each other away. How could they, when they knew what it was like to almost lose the other forever?

“We might disagree, on occasion, but that’s normal,” Beth murmured softly, although she’d noticed that for the most part they seemed to agree, and they each had a tendency to be aware of each other’s emotions in a way that prevented misunderstandings. “Plus, you know what they say about little arguments…”

Daryl chuckled behind her, the sound rumbling through his chest. “What?”

Beth turned in his arms in a smooth motion, her hands sliding up his chest to hook over his shoulders as she pressed close with a slow smile. “You get to make up after.” 

Again his low laughter rumbled through both of them, making Beth hum and pressed closer, even as he teased, “Does that even count as an argument?”

She pursed her lips, drawing out the silence for a long moment as if she needed to think it over. Then with a flash of a grin, she replied, “ _Definitely_.”

Not that either of them needed any excuse to kiss each other when they were alone these days, but it was surprisingly fun to come up with silly excuses like this. It made her giggle briefly against his mouth as she leaned up and pressed her lips slowly to his. There was no hesitation on Daryl’s part, either. His hands shifted to grip her waist and hold her close as their lips parted and the kiss deepened. Keeping it playful, Beth dipped her tongue into his mouth with a little smile, though she couldn’t help the little gasp she gave when Daryl’s reply was to sharply tug her closer and slide his tongue against hers.

“Mmm,” she murmured into his mouth, teasing his tongue with her own until all she could taste was him. God, that had to be her favorite taste in the world, now. Each time they did this, it only got better, and that low coiling heat only seemed to build more and more, until she was breathless against his lips. 

“About that cast…” Daryl murmured the words against her mouth, where she could feel the faint hint of a smile on his lips. 

“Tell you what.” Beth kissed the corner of his lips. “Let’s make a deal. If you let me cut it off today, I’ll wrap it with the extra ace bandage, nice and tight, and keep that on for awhile longer.” She paused a beat. “ _And_ I’ll give you two kisses.”

“Two?” He quirked an eyebrow at her and kissed lightly at the soft line of her jaw.

“Mmm… three? Four, if you let me take off the bandage on my head, too.” 

“Five. And you can take off th’ bandage an’ the cast, but only if you wrap your wrist.” His lips brushed back towards her ear as he added lowly. “An’ make _sure_ to go easy on it.” 

Beth curled her fingers into his hair, and pulled back to smile up at him. “Deal.” 

Since she wasn’t one to renege on her half, Beth stayed facing him and leaned up on her toes for the first kiss. Her hand came up to cup the back of his head, fingers tangling in the dark strands of hair as she pressed her lips gently to his. This first kiss she wanted to be nice and slow and lingering, and she was determined to make sure it was. Beth’s lips parted against his, gradually deepening the kiss as she leaned in nice and close to him. The soft curves of her body molded to the hard lines of his, everything slotting right into place as if she were meant to be pressed against him like this. Maybe she was.

She heard him groan softly, exhaling it right into the kiss as his hands found the curve of her hips and gripped them firmly, just enough to try and draw her even nearer to him. All she could do was oblige, even though she was pretty sure there was no way to get her body any closer to his than it already was. Beth twisted her fingers into his hair a little tighter and breathed a moan back into the kiss as they drew out the kiss as long as they could, all parting lips and teasing tongues and whispered low sounds until Beth’s lungs were burning and she had to pull away with a sharp gasp. Her lips were slightly swollen as she looked up at him, cheeks flushed and chest rising and falling sharply with her panted little breaths as she teased, “One down. Four to go.”

His little smirk had heat coiling low in her belly, and as she brushed one hand slowly down his chest to curl in his shirt, she heard him murmur, “No rush. Gonna savor every one of ‘em.” He reached around her, and she felt acutely aware of the shift and press of his body against hers as he pinned her lightly to the counter with the weight of his body in the process. For a moment, Beth thought he was gonna kiss her; his mouth was certainly close enough that she could feel his breath across her lips. But then his fingers curled around something behind her, and he pulled back with a little smirk on his lips that suggested he knew just what he was doing to her. “Cast time,” he murmured, holding up the scissors she’d found earlier in a kitchen drawer. “You let me do it, alright?” 

A bit breathless, all Beth could do was nod as he gently drew her hand down in front of him and began to slide the scissors carefully underneath the cast. It was fascinating to her how a moment like this could feel almost just as intimate as their kiss a few moments before. Daryl’s rough and work-worn hands were gentle as he cupped her wrist with one and used the other to gently work the blade of the scissors under the cast. His eyes were intent with focus and care, and a faint dimpled line had appeared between his eyebrows as he put the entirety of his attention on doing this for her and making sure to do it right. Beth was suddenly struck by the thought of all the other ways he could put this intense focus of his on her, like the way he did at night when he was kissing her, when she was pressed down to the blankets underneath him. 

See, Daryl Dixon had a way of focusing so intensely on something that everything else around him faded away, and Beth had a feeling that any way he might turn that focus on her was bound to render her into some sort of mess of emotions; be it the complete and total safety and sense of _rightness_ she felt when he was intently focused on just holding her and comforting her, or the rush of heat and need and happiness that she felt when his focus turned to kissing her. Lately though, she’d started to imagine all the other ways he might turn that focus on her beyond just kissing or holding her, and it was bound to get her all flushed and flustered every time.

Now, with his touch so gentle as he began to gently snip at the cast, Beth just felt so very cared for. If anyone had asked her a year or so ago, she never would have guessed that Daryl Dixon could be the caring type but he was, at least with her. He treated her like she was the most precious thing he’d ever seen and yet the strongest, all at the same time. It sounded like a contradiction and yet she couldn’t imagine wanting to be treated any differently by him.

As he began to cut through her cast though, Beth still felt that faint itch, the one that bubbled through her whole body and caused her to squirm a bit before a look from him had her settling.

“Did I nick ya?” He looked worried as he peered up at her, and Beth was quick to shake her head and reassure him.

“No. It’s like... I dunno. I’ve had this _itch_ all day. Like it’s just under my skin and I can’t pinpoint it.” 

His eyes held hers and Daryl raised his eyebrow nice and slow, quirking up a corner of his lip at the same time in a silent, teasing question. She hesitated for just a moment, and then her cheeks flushed as she remembered his kisses and the feeling of being pinned between him and the little sink, and the heat that had bubbled up inside her as a result. “No, not like that.” She bit her lip and then smirked a little back at him. “I mean don’t get me wrong, I’m definitely feeling that, too, but it’s something else.” 

She rolled her shoulders faintly, and felt that little itchy sensation go right down her spine. “I thought it was the cast, I dunno. Like it was itching me and making me all frustrated and agitated, but...” She trailed off, searching her mind for a moment to try and pinpoint the sensation, only to shrug. “I dunno. I dunno what it is. I can’t pinpoint it, I just feel... _itchy_.”

“Well.” Daryl looked back down to focus on cutting slowly through her cast, right up towards her hand. His voice was reassuring as he went on, “You keep feeling that or it changes in any way, you let me know, okay?” He hesitated for a moment as if considering something, and then gave a little shake of his head. “Been on edge a bit today, too, but I dunno why either.” The corner of his mouth tugged up briefly as he flashed a look up at Beth from under his hair. “Figured it was just you, and all your kissin’ every time we’re alone.” 

“Hey!” She nudged her hip against his, but settled at his stern look, not wanting to distract him _too_ much when he was cutting her cast open. “S’not like you mind all my kissing.” 

“Nah.” He looked down at her cast and focused intently as he made a few more cuts up the center, but she didn’t miss the pleased sound of his voice as he added lowly, “Don’t mind it at all.” 

The smile on her lips lingered as Daryl made the last final, careful snip up her cast to the very top and split it open. His touch was so gentle as he brushed the rough pads of his thumbs over the slightly-pink skin beneath the opening in her cast and slowly opened it wider to lightly slide it off her arm. “How’s it feel?” He looked up at her with concern heavy in his eyes, and Beth found herself mesmerized as always by the sight of how much he cared for her. It was always both unexpected and heartwarming at the same time, a reassuring reminder that everything she felt for him was returned.

After a moment she remembered that he was actually asking her about her wrist, and Beth looked down with a little chuckle to gently try and roll it. “It’s... It’s okay, I think.” She frowned slightly. “A little tender, but okay...” 

As soon as she’d frowned, Daryl was reaching for the ace bandage and unraveling it. “C’mere,” he murmured roughly, concern lending a softer, warmer quality to his voice as the warm pads of his fingers smoothed over her tender wrist. Every touch from him, even the simple ones, seemed to send little sparks of heat through her, warming her, encouraging the butterflies in her tummy to flutter out a merry rhythm. He gently began to wrap the bandage around her wrist, keeping it tight enough to give her support but not enough to cut off circulation, and his focus never broke the entire time until he’d tucked the extra bit of fabric away to finish off the wrapping.

“There.” His fingers curled around her wrist, and when he looked up into her eyes Beth saw a hint of a smirk on his lips again and lord, she just wanted to kiss that smirk of his. Maybe Daryl could read her mind, or maybe he just wanted the same damn thing, because after a moment he leaned in towards her and murmured, “Time for my second kiss, Greene?” 

She breathed out the words in a grateful rush, “Lord, yes.” 

The second kiss was even more heated than the first. No sooner had her lips met his than Beth felt his hands on her hips, pressing her back against the sink until it dug into her lower back. Her tongue teased along the seam of his lips, begging entrance he was more than willing to give her without a moment of hesitation. As soon as his lips parted, Beth’s tongue dipped inside to slide along the wet heat of his mouth, the taste of him filling her as she moaned against his lips. Her head spun at the rush of just kissing him, making her feel dizzy as she pressed as close as she possibly could. She wondered if he could feel her heart racing away against his chest. She was pretty sure that if she focused, she could feel his, beating out the same rapid rhythm.

Again when they broke the kiss it was with two desperate gasps, and this time they stayed close, his forehead resting against hers and his thumbs brushing soft circles over her hips. Each upward circle of his fingers had them just lightly grazing her skin under her t-shirt, sending a faint little shiver through her as she melted against him.

“Three to go,” he murmured, in a voice so low and raspy that Beth thought it was unfair how good he sounded. “Bandage next, Greene. C’mere, lemme see it.” It baffled her how he managed to seem so calm and straightforward when just kissing him had her head spinning; but when she looked up him she saw the darkness in his eyes and a hint of a catch to his breath that told her he was feeling just as dizzy as she was. Her breath hitched in her chest again as his fingers graze over her cheek on their way to her temple, and Beth wondered if it was always gonna be like this with him. If years down the road his touch would still make her shiver and flush with heat, and make her breath catch in her throat.

She didn’t for a moment doubt that in a few years or longer, she would still be with him. The thought was easy and natural and it feels _right_ as it sinks down into her bones. 

His touch was as gentle as always as he gently slipped his fingers under the small white bandage and tugged it away from her scalp, bit by bit. She winced, but only faintly, and it’s more for the way the tape tugs at her short strands of hair than anything else. The area around her wound had been shaved short, but the hair still got caught a bit in the bandage every time it got pulled off to be reapplied.

“How’s it look?” Beth felt unexpectedly nervous, until she felt his hands smooth down comfortingly over her hips and gently turn her around to face herself in the mirror.

“Have a look yourself.” 

It wasn’t like she hadn’t seen the wound before, every time she’d changed the bandage. But usually someone else had done it (often Daryl, with those same gentle touches of his rough fingers), and if she’d done it herself she’d just leaned in close so the wound was all she could see. Now, staring in the mirror, Beth got her first good look at the other scar that marred her features. She still had the two, dark slashes across her cheeks that had healed but would always remain. The one on her head was newer, longer, a reddish gash that slashed from her temple and back to where the harsh line of it stopped above her ear. The hair had been shaved off over it, though it had grown in a bit fuzzy in the time since. Beth couldn’t help noticing how awkward it looked; that patch of short hair right on the side of her head where everything else was as long and thick as always.

“So many marks,” she breathed out, sorrow thick in her voice as she looked at her reflection. It was almost like there wasn’t an inch of her not marked in some way now, though she knew that wasn’t true. Especially compared to Daryl, standing behind her, his body a patchwork of undeserved scars hidden beneath his clothing. When she spoke again it was almost a whisper. “Do you ever look at yourself in the mirror and think that it’s like... like you almost don’t recognize who you are, anymore? Do you ever just wonder where the old you went?” 

“Sometimes.” Daryl’s hands rested on her hips and he drew slow circles with his thumbs as he leaned in until his cheek pressed to her ear. “But I don’t wanna find th’ old me, anymore. Don’t wanna go back to who I was, all... angry, and alone. The world is shit, but for me it’s almost now better than it was. _I’m_ better.” His head turned, lips grazing her ear lightly as he murmured in a near-whisper, “ _You’re_ better, too. Might not seem like it sometimes, but y’are. You’re stronger. Braver. An’ so full of hope.” 

Beth knew he was right. There are so many things she had gone through that she wished she could change, so many people she wished she could bring back; her Mama, Shawn, Otis, Patricia, her Daddy. Yet losing them had turned her into who she was now. All the things she’d suffered through- trying to take her own life, losing the farm, losing the prison, losing _Daryl_ , almost losing her own life again at the hospital- it had all made her who she was today, too. She had never thought of herself as strong before all of this. She had never thought of herself as much of anything beyond a sweet farm girl with reachable dreams, who loved music and family and simple things. She never would have guessed back then that she’d become the woman she was now, that everything she’d gone through would tamp her down, fire her and shape her, until there was a part of her like tempered steel.

Her fingers grazed over the scar on her wrist, hidden beneath her bracelets as she looked up at the scar that now cut a line across her temple, too. “Twice,” she murmured. Her eyes flicked to the side in time to catch the questioning look in Daryl’s eyes. “Twice I almost died, and I’ve got scars to remember both of them by.” 

As she toyed with the ridge of scar tissue on her wrist, Daryl’s fingers slipped under her chin and turned it until his lips could brush lightly against the newly formed scar across her head. When he spoke, his voice was low, with a hint of amusement that rumbled deep within it as he said, “Third times the charm?” 

It was half a joke and half serious, but Beth liked it. She liked the idea that this was her third chance, in a way. _Third times a charm, three strikes and you’re out, three times lucky._ She looked up at him in the mirror, and rather than a song lyric springing to her lips, she remembered a story her Mama had read her years and years ago, back on the farm when stories at night were the one thing guaranteed to get her to sleep. “ _I can’t go back to yesterday because I was a different person then._ ” She smiled as she sensed the question he hadn’t even asked, and added, “It’s from Alice in Wonderland. It was my favorite book, when I was younger.”

“Ain’t never read it, but sounds ‘bout right.” Daryl’s voice was quiet now as he pressed a soft kiss to her temple again. 

“I actually think you’d like it,” Beth murmured, her eyes half-shut as he began to kiss softly down her cheek to her jaw. He had this hesitancy to him sometimes when he kissed her, as if he wasn’t entirely sure what he was doing but he knew what he _wanted_ to do. The hesitancy was so very him that it only made it all feel better. In a flash of memory, she thought of another quote that reminded her of him and said with a little smirk, “ _If everybody minded their own business, the world would go around a great deal faster than it does._ ” 

He snorted just like she’d known he would but then, just as his lips grazed the line of her jaw and pulled a sigh from her lips, a loud knocking came from the bathroom door and a voice called loudly through, “Hey lovebirds, you almost done in there?” It was Sasha’s voice, and Beth instantly stifled a little giggle.

Daryl rolled his eyes as he drew back, but whispered just for her ears, “What was that about everyone mindin’ their own business?” 

“Mm.” With a shake of her head she took his hand, casually lacing her slender fingers through his much larger, rougher ones. She hesitated at the door, knowing that Sasha (if not more of their family) was right outside, and public displays of affection weren’t really their thing. She wouldn’t have been hurt if he’d tugged his hand free, but he didn’t. Instead he just reached around her to open the door and nudged her outside. Thankfully they didn’t have to face too many people. It was their turn to have the master bedroom tonight, and since most everyone else was either on watch or settling in for the evening in one of the other rooms, they could just duck down the short hallway to their room.

They _did_ have to face Sasha’s mischievous little smirk as they came out, though, and she made sure to tease them a bit, joking about what they’d been doing hogging the bathrrom like that. Beth was flushed and giggling, until Daryl grunted and began to tug her down the hallway, and the giggling turned to laughter at how impatient he seemed to be to get away. She got one flash of Sasha grinning at her and Michonne further down the hallway looking on in amusement, and then she was in the bedroom and Daryl was closing the door firmly behind them.

“Much better,” he grunted with a decisive nod.

“Oh yeah?” Beth felt that flutter of heat in her belly return, daring her to be bolder like that night when she’d been drunk on moonshine, only this was 100% her. “You got something in mind that you couldn’t do out in the hallway with people watching, Mr. Dixon?” 

It was all well and good to tease him boldly, but it was another thing to see the sudden shift in his blue eyes as they darkened with heat and he fixed that gaze on her again that made her feel like she was the willing prey to his hunter’s gaze. Just one of those looks from him and she was all flustered, pinned beneath the warmth of his gaze as he stalked slowly closer. His hands slid up to cup her face, one thumb brushing over her lips until he leaned down, hovering just inches away s he whispered, “You still owe me three kisses, Greene. Y’gonna bail on our deal?”

A grin flashed across her lips as she leaned right back into him. “ _Never_.” 

The third kiss made her feel like he was putting fire into her veins, and she ached to just burn up with it. Her arms were twined around his shoulders and his hands splayed against her back before slipping up under her shirt to press against her warm bare skin. The sensation had her breathing out a moan as she nipped at his lower lip, teasing the warm flesh with her teeth before soothing it over with a slow playful flick of her tongue. Her reward was his low, rumbling groan, and the slide of his hands slowly up her back to bring her shirt with them. 

There was only a moment of hesitation on both their parts. She felt his fingers curl into the hem of her shirt and then felt him pause just long enough to seek out approval in another silent but understood question. She knew without a doubt that he would never do anything without being sure she wanted him to. And lord, did she want this right now. “Please...” She whispered the plea against his lips and looked into his eyes for just a second, before he was drawing the shirt up over her head and tossing it aside. She wore a bra underneath, a faded and slightly dingy white, worn through from months use and scattered attempts at washing it in whatever water sources they’d happened to find. If it had been anyone else, she might have been embarrassed, but this was _Daryl_.

Dimly Beth was grateful that she was at least clean today. They’d gone for a swim in the pond earlier, a large group of them taking the chance to rinse themselves off, even if they hadn’t used soap. She was pretty sure Daryl wouldn’t have cared either way, judging by the reverent look in his eyes as he drank her in. She didn’t think he even noticed how ratty her bra was, or if he did he certainly didn’t care.

He didn’t have to say anything. Neither of them did. The words were in the slide of his hand up the curve of her hip, the way his rough palm felt brushing over the soft skin of her side, the way he hesitated for just a moment as his thumb came to rest just beneath her curve of her breast. Beth didn’t need to speak, either. His other hand came up to cup the side of her face and she tipped her head into it with a low hum, before giving him a slow, inviting nod. 

That was all the response Daryl seemed to need. One little shift, and she felt his broad palm cupping her breast for the first time; the only thing between them the thin fabric of her bra. She thought for sure he must have been able to feel her heart racing away, like a little dove fluttering against the palm of her hand. For his part, Daryl was looking down at her with awe in his eyes; awe, and heat, and something akin to reverence again as he gently cupped her breast and caressed it through the thin fabric, brushing his thumb over the curve until her nipple hardened beneath his touch, a tight little bud dimpling the fabric of her bra.

Both of them were inexperienced in this, but Beth found that she didn’t mind. There was hesitancy in the way she arched into him or the way his hand paused before shifting, or hesitated before giving a little tentative squeeze, but it only made each moment sweeter. It seemed easier though, when they were kissing again. The fourth kiss was all lips parting against lips and the slide of tongue against tongue and the incredible heat flashing between them that seemed to make them more capable of letting their hands move instinctively. Daryl’s hand became more confident as he cupped and squeezed her sensitive little breast, pulling breathy moans from her lips and making her very aware of how perfectly she seemed to fit against his palm. His grip made the fabric of her bra brush against her tight little nipple, coaxing soft little moans from her lips at the teasing of such a sensitive spot.

The kisses combined with his touches to make her more bold, too. Her hands brushed down over his chest, lingering briefly over the muscles she could feel bunching and tensing under her touch. She found the hem of his shirt and began to slowly tug it up, inch by inch over his chest, her hands brushing round to his side so she could draw it even further up. She looked up at him in question when the kiss broke, ready to stop the moment he asked her to. He had taken his shirt off every night they’d stayed in this room, but it had never been like this; he’d always stripped it off and slid into bed, and she’d tucked herself up against them and they’d drifted off to sleep.

After a long moment his arms lifted and she stripped the shirt slowly off him, pleased and proud that he was trusting her like this, that he _wanted_ her like this. The movement required to strip off his shirt had her stretching up on her toes to get it over his arms, and when she swayed and nearly tripped against him in the process, a giggle spilled from her lips. It broke the tension in an instant, Daryl chuckling against her as he helped to toss the shirt aside and let his own hands slide around to her back to tug her close. Suddenly she was pressed up against him, skin against skin and flushed with heat as her body molded back to his with far less in between them.

There it was again, the fire in her veins, and her laughter turned into a moan as she looked up at him and saw the desire reflected in his deep blue eyes. His hands brushed lower to curve under her ass and grip it gently to lift her up closer to him. Beth barely had time to gasp and then he was turning towards the bed, lifting her up to bring her with him. The look in his eyes was equal parts care and desire as Beth found herself laying on her back on the bed with Daryl hovering above her, his palms pressed flat on either side of her head and his hair spilling into his face as he looked down into her eyes.

“ _Daryl_...” She breathed his name out all plaintive and worshiping and everything seemed to slow around them as she saw a smile curve up his lips. Not a tug at the corners, not a quirk of his lips, but a real honest _smile_. 

It was without a doubt one of the best things she’d ever seen. 

“One more kiss left,” he murmured as he lifted one of his hands to tuck a stray bit of hair behind her ear. “Gonna make it a good one, Greene?”

A smirk crossed her lips as she slid her hands up over his bare chest. “Isn’t every kiss a good one with us?” The look in his eyes told her all she needed to know in response, but Beth was still determined to make this one incredible.

And it was. With his body a warm weight above hers, Beth pressed her lips to his in an equally warm kiss that quickly deepened. Soon they were kissing each other passionately, almost hungrily, lips parting and tongues tasting and soft moans and little gasps passing between them. He shifted to wedge a thigh between her legs, and Beth hesitated just a moment before she gave in to instinct and rocked her hips slowly up. The firm press of his thigh between hers had this exquisite tension building low in her belly, and she couldn’t resist doing it again. 

Apparently she wasn’t the only one that liked it. Daryl groaned into the kiss as he pressed down a bit more firmly, and suddenly, she was _very_ aware of just how she was affecting him. Everything all began to blur as soon as she felt the hard press of him against her thigh. She nipped at his lip and hen his tongue dipped into her mouth to taste her. He slid his hand up her side to cup her breast between them, and she brushed her hands slowly up over his warm back. He flinched at the touch of her hands over his scars, but only for a moment, before he breathed out her name like an awed prayer against her mouth, “ _Beth_.”

The kiss became almost frantic, _everything_ between them was suddenly frantic; all nipping teeth and heavy panted breathes and roaming hands and the slight bite of her nails into his back as he pressed down into her and pulled a moan from her lips. She was on fire, she was burning up just like they’d burned down that house together, only it was all on the inside. It was consuming her, consuming them both, but together they were a phoenix and they would rise together from the ashes, reborn, _stronger_.

The heat was so much that she could almost smell smoke, coiling in the air. Something twinged deep in the back of her mind, something _itched_ , only to be swamped under a wave of desire as Daryl pressed his thigh right against that sweet aching spot and made her moan his name in near-rapture, “ _Daryl_...” 

In the distance, someone screamed, like a flash of lightning cutting jaggedly into her mind. There was a loud bang, followed by the crash of glass shattering, and suddenly Beth realized that the scent of smoke wasn’t just in her mind but heavy in her nose and ashy on her tongue and- “Daryl?” 

He pulled off her, eyes wide in panic as he cursed. “ _Shit_.” She heard a shout, another crash of breaking glass, and then Beth heard a noise like a _whoosh_ , followed by the sharp crackle of flames. Daryl rolled right off her and to his feet, and Beth sat up sharply in the bed, her eyes wide. She seemed to have forgotten that she was bared to the waist, her little breasts heaving against her bra with her sharp breath as she struggled to disassociate from the haze in her mind and figure out what was happening. There was smoke in her nose and in her lungs, and when she breathed it in she thought of that night, drunk on moonshine, middle finger thrust up against the sky and silhouetted against the crackling flames; _rebirth, rebirth_.

But this was nothing like that, and it only took a few seconds for her mind to sharpen, catch up, and see it. To see the smoke, curling under their door. the glow of flame lighting up the window to their left, to hear the screams coming from beyond the door; shouts and cries of ‘help!’ and ‘fire!’ and then, just barely audible, ‘Daryl! Beth!’

“Beth!” Daryl’s voice was frantic and rough with panic beside her as he picked up her shirt and tossed it at her hard, reaching down to shake focus into her until her eyes met his. “Beth! We gotta move, _now_!” 

The taste of smoke was thick on her tongue when it finally hit her in a sharp crackling rush: the flames weren’t just boiling in her veins anymore. It was here. It was real. It was licking at the front porch and greedily devouring the feast of wood that had been provided for it tonight.

The house was on fire, and they were all trapped inside of it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OOPS I did a cliffhanger. DON'T BE MAD! It wasn't time just yet, but I hope you enjoyed what you did get!
> 
> On another note, I recently plotted out the rest of this story. From what I can tell, there should be about 10 more chapters, including this one. If things go as planned, "She's Breathing" will end with Chapter 30. (Although I may already have an idea for a sequel, so I hope everyone isn't too upset.) 
> 
> Things are gonna get very _hot_ in the next chapter, but judging by the cliffhanger, probably not in the way ya'll would like. ;)


	22. Flight Zone

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Daryl, Beth, and their family fight to escape the house as it goes up in flames.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is another action-packed chapter. I hope you enjoy our two working as such a good team.

The scent of smoke was thick in his nostrils as Daryl did his best to focus. He couldn’t think about the taste of Beth on his tongue just moments ago, couldn’t think about the way her breast had felt fitting so perfectly against his hand, or the way he’d felt her pulse fluttering against his palm. He definitely couldn’t think about the little soft moans she’d given him, or the look in her eyes as he’d laid down over her, or how her skin was as soft as silk beneath his rough fingers.

He couldn’t think of any of that, because fire was crackling closer by the moment and Beth was still sitting in the bed. For just a second he could see that distance in her eyes, and Daryl desperately wondered where she was, cause she wasn’t there with him. There had been so many fires in the past, he could imagine she was flashing back to any one of them; the moonshine shack, the barn on her family farm, the fires they had lit every night to survive out there in the woods. The look in her eyes told him it wasn’t a good memory, but right now, he couldn’t let her have it. He couldn’t let her sink down away from him. Not only for the safety of her life, but their family, too.

“Beth.” Daryl gripped either side of her face until she looked into his eyes finally. “Come on, girl. Snap out of it. I _need_ you with me, ya got that?” 

He must have said the right thing, because Beth blinked and the haze faded from her eyes. She was with him again, just where he needed her. And he did need her, not just in the sense that he needed her safe, but in the sense that he was stronger with her beside him. _They_ were stronger together. Had been since the day they’d escaped the prison together and kept each other alive without even realizing at first. They were a team. Yin and yang, strengthening each other by virtue of their meshing strengths and weaknesses.

She was with him as she pulled on her shirt and climbed to her feet to quickly stick her feet into her boots. “I heard breaking glass,” Beth said, looking up at him in time for him to hand over her bag and crossbow. They were smart enough to keep their stuff close by, as always. Despite the relative safety of this place, none of them had broken that habit, and it seemed now like it had been for good reason.

“Me too. From the kitchen, maybe.” He had a feeling the glass breaking was related to the fires starting, but he couldn’t be sure until they got outside the bedroom. Daryl waited until she had her crossbow in hand, and then shifted back to the window, trying to peer out into the darkness. “You know that itchy feelin’ you had earlier?” He glanced at Beth, who nodded. “Well I’ve got mine goin’ off real bad now, girl. Warning bells and all. We gotta be ready for anything, okay?” 

Beth gave him a nod as she checked her knife at her belt, slid her gun off the dresser and into her holster, and then cocked her crossbow. Only when she was ready did he move slowly to the bedroom door. The smell of smoke coiled in his nostrils, and it wasn’t not the moonshine shack he remembered going up in flames, but his childhood home. He remembered the scent of smoke deep in his nose, the way it clung to everything he’d owned, everything that hadn’t burned right up with his Ma, anyway. The smell of smoke had reminded him of her for years and years, after. It still did. 

Just as he hesitated, he felt Beth’s hand press to his back right between the wings on his vest, and just like that, the memory faded away to be replaced by the strength he felt when she was close. She didn’t even need to speak to reassure him, and he was grateful for that. Daryl made sure to test the handle first, confirming that the door wasn’t too hot before he carefully opened it and stepped into the hallway with Beth right behind him. 

The first thing he saw was fire, crackling orange bright across the walls of the kitchen down the long hallway ahead of them. Even from here, he could see that it had already begun to consume the table and chairs that were set to the left, by that side door. Closer, and more worrisome, was the fire that seemed to have begun to devour the small left-hand study; the books that filled the shelves in there were likely perfect fuel for the flickering flames. Smoke billowed out of the room to fill the hall, and he could see the light of the flames through the open door.

“It’s all on the left,” he grunted low enough for Beth to hear, and tilted his head just enough to see her nod.

“Windows,” she murmured, her thoughts echoing his as they both remembered the sound of crashing glass. “The windows all face the back. The woods.” 

The smoke curling in the air made them both cough, and then suddenly Beth’s gaze fixed on the closed door to the right as she gasped, “ _Judith_.” He had just one moment to see that fierce maternal light flare in her eyes and then she was at the door, taking only a moment to test it before stepping inside. Daryl was right behind her, guarding her back, gaze shifting quickly from side to side to take in the small spare bedroom. 

Rick, Carl, and Judith had been sharing it since their arrival here, but Rick was nowhere in sight. As far as Daryl could remember, the man had watch tonight, and the thought made a tendril of nervousness uncurl in his belly. But like Beth, his focus right now was on the others in the room; Carl, curled up asleep on the pull-out bed with his gun a foot from his hand and Judith, awake and sitting up in the basket they’d been using for a bed for her.

“It’s okay, sweet pea, I’ve got you...” In a heartbeat, Beth had the baby up and in her arms and Daryl was leaning over to wake up the boy. “ _Carl_.” He kept his voice low and quiet, just in case. “Carl, it’s time to wake up. _Now_.”

The boy was almost as quick to pick up on what’s happening as Beth was, and for a second Daryl was grateful for his quick mind. He looked up at Daryl, darted his gaze to the smokey doorway, and then his eyes went wide, “Judy-” Carl sat up straight in a panic, before he caught sight of Judith in Beth’s arms. 

Beth held the baby close, cradling her naturally against her chest as she said firmly, “Get me her carrier, Carl. Ain’t puttin’ her down, but I need my hands free.” 

Daryl knew they didn’t have much time, but he also wasn’t about to leave anyone behind, especially not Judith. And Beth was clearly aware that time was ticking, too. She moved quick and smooth, strapping the baby carrier to her chest and sliding Judith into it so the baby’s legs dangled down over her belly. It was an adjustment she’d have to account for, but Daryl saw her test out lifting and aiming her bow, and he knew it would be alright. Better Judith was on her chest where she could protect her, than exposed on her back instead.

“C’mon,” he said roughly, glancing over his shoulder to where Carl stood ready with his gun, and Beth was poised with a baby on her chest and her crossbow in her arms. (Like some goddamn goddess, all over again, fierce like a warrior and protective like the mother she always was, if not by blood.) 

“My Dad-” Carl’s voice broke as he looked out the door into the hallway, lit by flickering flames. 

“We’ll find him,” Daryl said roughly. “We’ll find everyone. We ain’t leavin’ no one behind.” 

They move out into the hallway, and Beth closed the door behind them. “Open doors help the fire spread,” she murmured, as she reached around him to close the bedroom they’d been sleeping in, too. “It’s the air flow. It sucks the fire deeper into the house.” 

He didn’t have time to ask how she knew that, but the words lingered with him as he lead the way down the hallway. They closed doors as they went, only after they were sure no one was inside. The bathroom was clear, but as soon as he reached the study door, he could see someone huddled on the floor. They’d been using it as another bedroom, laying out blankets on the floor to make beds each night for people who wanted a little privacy. With a grunt, Daryl leaned inside, flinching at the heat of the crackling flames that had already consumed a good half of the room.

Smoke filled the air around him, occasionally parting to give him brief clear glimpses of the room. The window was smashed open, curtains blowing with a breeze from outside that was fueling the flames. Fire crackled up the walls, devouring the books on the shelves that covered the whole left wall. He reached down and curled his hand into the fabric at the back of the person on the floor and pulled hard to drag them out through the door, Carl bending over to help him with the last few inches until the person’s feet were clear and Beth could reach past them, shielding Judith’s face as she slammed the door shut against the fire.

Together they rolled the body over, and Beth gasped at the sight of Sasha laying there on the floor. She dropped to her knees, and her hand was on Sasha’s pulse point before Daryl could even blink. “She’s alive. I can feel her pulse... I think she must have been sleeping, and the smoke must have gotten in her lungs... _Sasha_! Sasha, wake up, you need to wake up, _now_.” 

Beside him, Carl rummaged through his own bag and came up with a half-empty bottle of water. Rather than try and get the unconscious girl to drink, Beth spilled a tiny bit of it onto her hand and flicked it on Sasha’s face, until suddenly she sat up with sharp gasp. “Wha- What happened? Beth? Daryl?” Coughs wracked her body as she fell back down to the floor.

“There’s a fire, Sash,” Daryl watched as Beth slipped her arm under the woman’s back and helped her stay sitting up, patting her back as she continued to cough. “You were asleep, and the smoke got into your lungs a little but you didn’t get burned. Daryl got you out fast enough.” 

“We need t’ keep movin’,” Daryl said roughly, nodding down the hallway to where the fire in the kitchen crackled and snapped away. “Gotta find the others. Gotta get out. _Now_. Can you stand?”

Carl and Beth gripped Sasha’s hands and pulled her to her feet where she swayed, and then steadied. “My bag-” She looked behind her, but even with the closed door they could all hear the crackling flames. It was gone. Better the bag than Sasha’s life, though.

“C’mon,” Daryl said roughly, gesturing towards the kitchen. He wasn’t sure if they could even get out that way, but they needed to try. If only to see if some of their family were still there. 

Daryl took the lead again with Beth at his side, one hand holding her crossbow and the other trying to steady the squirming baby on her chest. He cast a glance back at Sasha almost questioningly, but she just chuckled and shook her head. “Hey, I ain’t breakin’ up the team. You two are good in the lead.” Daryl shrugged, and turned his focus forward, though something about her words caused a twinge of pleasure within him. 

Cautiously they moved into the kitchen, both of them sweeping their bows from side-to-side as they took in the scene. The large garden window in the left corner of the room had been smashed like the one in the study, and fire had spread to fill that corner, bright flames crackling greedily as they destroyed the table and chairs that just this evening had held their family, gathered around for dinner. 

Beth moved carefully past him, keeping Judith’s face shielded as she turned into the living room, and Daryl followed behind them. Blankets were on each of the chairs and laid across the floor, but they were all empty. The couch had been pulled out into it’s usual bed, but the blankets were tossed aside as if someone- or multiple someones- had gotten up fast. If he’d had to guess, he’d have said they’d made a run for it, and he didn’t truly blame them; even if a part of him briefly felt furious at the idea that they’d just run, leaving him and Beth and Carl and Judith and Sasha inside. Fire was enough to make anyone panic, though. He knew that. He’d known it since he was a kid, seeing the flames shooting up into the sky from the roof of his home. 

He reached out and grabbed Beth’s arm to turn her around, opening his mouth to growl, “C’mon, they must’ve run, and we gotta run, too!” But they had only taken two steps when the other kitchen window shattered. For just a second he saw it: a bottle flew through the air into the kitchen, flame flickering from the top of it. _Molotov._ Then it hit the ground and exploded, fire unfurling in a crackling rush up the counters. 

“ _Fuck_!” The new flames baked his face, but his only concern was for the others; Carl, Sasha, _Beth_. With the flames on their right edging past the table to the door, and the others creeping towards them on the left, Daryl had to make a choice; risk the kitchen door to their right, or try for the door leading down to the basement. Daryl made his choice in a second. He gripped Beth’s arm and _moved_ , pulling her just two steps until she caught on and followed after him. They darted towards the pantry, Sasha and Carl right behind them. Daryl reached out to yank open the door beside it that led down to the basement, only to be met with a billow of smoke and the rippling of flames climbing up the wooden steps. “ _Shit_!”

In an instant, he pictured the back of the house in his mind; the hill sloping down under the porch, the small but breakable windows leading into the basement, probably easily reached from certain angles by anyone who wanted to toss a Molotov cocktail through. “Sonofabitches tryin’ to block the ways out.” Lord, if he ever got his hands on these bastards. He slammed the door shut frantically and panic boiled within him for just a second, threatening to consume him. They can’t go down like this, he _won’t let them_ , won’t let them all burn up after everything they’d been through. 

It was Beth who gripped his arm hard this time and held on tightly as she tugged him towards the hallway. Her touch and her voice washed over him, cool and calm, dampening down the panic and bringing back his inner strength and focus. “Daryl, let’s go! We can get out the back door, the fire in the study hasn’t gotten through the door yet, but we gotta go _now_.” 

In the instant she spoke, he felt that prickle of warning at the back of his neck. That door lead out onto the back porch, right to a walkway leading back to the woods behind them. The same woods from where he was pretty sure that spinning bottle of fire and alcohol had come from to set fire to their safe place. But they had no other choice. It was run or die, and if it was a trap, than it was one well done.

But if it was a trap, Daryl knew he wouldn’t go down without a fight, and judging by the steely look in the eyes of Beth, Sasha, and Carl, they won’t either. “Let’s go,” he said roughly, bow raised as he lead the way down the hall. “We gotta be careful. Whoever set this fire, they’re out there, okay?”

Beth’s gaze was on his and Daryl knew her mind had gone the exact same place his had. She was damn good at that, these days. Curling her fingers around his wrist, her eyes focused on his as she asked, “Trap?”

He nodded. “Probably.” Sasha and Carl looked nervous, but he didn’t fail to see the way both their gazes stayed steady on him and Beth, tracking the conversation, _trusting_ the pair of them.

“So we go out that door _low_. Crouch down to the ground. They’ll be expecting us to come out at normal level, if they’ve got weapons, they’ll be aiming right for our chests.”

Beside him Beth nodded, and her voice was hushed as she finished, “We go low, it’ll take them a moment to catch on. They’ll be shooting way above our heads and it’ll give us a moment to get away.” 

“Exactly.” He slows as they pass the closed study door, and crouches down by the small hallway that leads to the exit. “Don’t run down the walkway to the driveway, we’ll just be running right at them. Go to the right, around the house to the gazebo. My guess is they’re on the driveway, throwing their bottles from there, tryin’ to smoke us out. We go around, we get down them stairs, and we _run_. You hear me? No playing the hero.” He looked at Carl, his gaze firm. “We ain’t goin’ for revenge, we’re goin’ to survive.”

Every one of them was riveted to him without hesitation, including Beth, who gently squeezed his arm again in agreement. Except for when he was with Beth, Daryl never talked that much unless he had to, and right now, he had to. Sometimes that damn silence of his paid off, because when he finally did talk, people tended to listen. He turned to Beth, and gripped her shoulder. “You keep Judy close, keep her safe. Protect her. But if you see anyone comin’ at us that you don’t know, you shoot ‘em. You got that?” 

“Don’t worry. I got it. And I got your back, Daryl.” She turned to Carl, eyebrow raised as she said protectively, “You stay behind me, okay? Stay behind me, and stay low.” Daryl saw Carl start to scowl, but Beth was already there, smoothly cutting him off, “I need you to get _my_ back, Carl. Mine and Judy’s, okay?”

A brief flicker of smile crossed Sasha’s face for just a moment, before it was replaced with worry again, and Daryl knew she was thinking of their family, her _brother_. She wasn’t the only one, that was for certain.

With a nod, he guided them all in a slow crouch down the hallway. “Gonna push this door open fast, and we’re just gonna _go_? Got it?” He waited just long enough for a nod from each of them, and then shoved the door open, wincing at the way the screen door squealed. Fast as he could, Daryl moved out onto the porch in a crouch ducking behind the semi-safety of the railing. He could hear Beth behind him, close enough that she nudged against him as she reached the railing, and he knew the others were close behind. 

Sasha was only halfway through the door when it all went to crap.

Shots rang out, pinging hard into the walls above their head, just like Daryl had expected; he could hear the sharp ‘pops’ of pistols, as well as a few lower, resonating ‘booms’ he knew had to be shotguns or rifles. Multiple guns, without a doubt. The trouble wasn’t the shots, though, they’d known those were coming. The trouble was Carl, pointing to the left end of the porch as he shouted, “Dad!” 

Forgetting where they were in favor of his father, Carl was halfway to his feet before Beth reached down, grabbed his shirt, and pulled him down hard. Turning to try and keep Judith shielded, she dragged him with her where they were crouched behind the railing, using a flower-box to cover them. Carl fell to his knees, and Daryl caught her frantic gaze as she mouthed a question at him.

_Rick_?

The man had been on watch tonight, and he must have had the back corner,the little section of the porch that extended slightly past the walkway. Daryl could imagine a hundred scenarios in a second; he’d been shot, he’d been choked from behind, he’d been knocked out somehow; anything so he couldn’t call out a warning. All Daryl could hope was that he wasn’t dead. There was no way he was going to leave him there, regardless. Rick was family. Rick was his _brother_.

His mind raced down all the pathways, creating ideas and plans and scrapping them in the same moment to move onto something else, until it clicked in his head. “Sasha, take Carl and _go_. Run. You’ll draw their fire, but stay low and you should be okay.” He hesitated just a moment, already knowing what the reaction would be, but a surge of protectiveness rose up inside of him, not just for Beth but for Judith, and he hissed out, “Beth, you should go with them-”

Her reply cut him off, sharp and firm, “No. Not happening. New plan, _now_.”

It had been worth the try, but even he’d known he didn’t mean it. There wasn’t anywhere else he wanted her but beside him. The only reason he’d truly suggested it was for the baby on her chest (and maybe a tiny bit for that twinge of fear inside of him of losing her again). With a nod, Daryl responded, “Then give Judith to Sasha. We’re gonna get Rick.” 

It only took a few seconds to give Judith over to Sasha, and then Beth was looking to him for leadership. “Beth, get out your gun. We’re gonna go when I give the signal to them. I want you to move with me to openin’ to the walkway, and stay there. Shoot into the woods and distract them, shoot _at_ ‘em if you can see ‘em. Give me time to grab Rick, and pull him to safety. You got it? Don’t stand up, and-”

“Don’t make a target. I know. I got it. I’m ready, Daryl.” With that fire in her eyes as she shouldered her crossbow and drew her pistol, he knew she was. Despite how the urge to protect her rose tight in his chest, he would never push her to the side, try and hide her away like a fragile porcelain doll. Because she wasn’t. She was strength and steel when she needed to be, and the two of them were never stronger than when they were together. There was no one else he’d rather have his back.

Daryl slung his crossbow around to his back, paused just a second to make sure everyone was ready, and then gave the signal. As soon as Sasha and Carl took off in a crouched run down the length of the walkway behind them, bullets echoing around them, Daryl and Beth were moving. She scuttled alongside him, her pistol in hand, until she reached the gap in the railing where the walkway appeared. Slowly Beth leaned around the railing, steadied her gun in front of her, and began to fire.

Distantly he heard a shout from the woods, and he knew that was his signal. Still moving at a crouch, Daryl quickly crossed behind the walkway to Rick’s side. He didn’t stop to check the man, just bent down, slung his arm over her shoulder, and started to drag him back with a strained grunt. The crack of Beth’s gun echoed in his ears as the fire from the study popped and sizzled to his left, making him sweat even in the cool night air. He was only aware he’d reached Beth when she gripped Rick’s other arm and helped to pull him; the pair of them dragging him together until they’d passed the arms of flame reaching out to them through the broken study window.

Crouched behind the flower box again, Beth dropped down low and slid her gun into her holster as she reached for Rick and rolled him onto his back. “Rick?” She hissed out his name as Daryl alternated between watching her and eyeing the walkway. The hail of bullets had stopped, and that worried him. If they weren’t firing, they might be coming up with a plan to come in after them. 

“I think they knocked him out,” Beth murmured, her voice low and pitched just for his ears. She had her fingers under Rick’s head, and he saw her flinch when she found something she didn’t like. Her hand came back up, and in the flickering light of the fire he saw blood staining her fingers. “Maybe they hit him with a rock, or something? Would make sense. Take out the people on guard back here, so they can’t warn us.” 

Daryl followed her gaze to the other end of the porch, where Sasha and Carl had run and where they assumed the others had gotten out. “Let’s hope the others grabbed Carol, when everything went down. I think she was on watch tonight, too.” 

On the ground, Rick groaned, and Beth leaned over him quickly. “Rick? Rick can you hear me?” He groaned, but his eyes stayed shut, and Daryl inwardly cursed again.

“Gonna have to carry him. One arm over your shoulder, one over mine, we run low an’ we run _fast_ , y’hear me?” 

She was already shifting onto her knees, rolling Rick over onto his stomach and helping Daryl to lift him up so they could sling his arms over their shoulders. Once the man’s heavy weight was settled, Daryl looked down the long stretch of porch in front of them, and nodded. “Let’s go.” 

They rose up into a half crouch and moved as quickly as they could down the walkway, dragging Rick’s half-limp body with them. It was just as they neared the first flaming kitchen window that Daryl caught a glimpse of a flash of light at the left, heading towards them. “Beth! Duck!” 

Both of them went down flat on their bellies, just in time for the flaming bottle to fly past them and hit the roof of the house with the tinkling smash of glass and the sudden roar of flames. Daryl didn’t have time to even think of apologizing to Rick, who had hit the desk a bit hard. He was too busy hissing as flaming liquid dripped off the edge of the roof, very nearly scorching his shoulder before he quickly shifted out from underneath it. “ _Move_ , now!”

They ran faster, standing more than crouching now as they dragged Rick with them. It was only when they rounded the corner that Daryl took one look back beyond the porch and towards the driveway. He could just see them, figures silhouetted by the flickering flames, shadows coming out of the trees; two, three, four... Without stopping, he rounded the corner and almost ran straight into Sasha and Carl. 

“Rick’s hurt,” Beth gasped out, the lot of them still moving, trying to get away from the flames which were climbing up the outside wall from the kitchen window and door but also staying pressed against the side of the house and out of the range of fire. 

“The group is down on the lawn, at the bottom of the stairs,” Carl said hoarsely, his gun raised, covering behind them as they hurried to the stairs, following Sasha as she clutched Judith close. Daryl felt another hint of pride at how calm the boy always was, even in the midst of a panicked situation like this. “They knocked out Carol, too. Tyreese has her.”

“Maggie? Glenn?” Beth’s voice was breathy from strain and worry, and Daryl felt a surge of worry that matched the sound of her voice, but Carl was quick to reassure her.

“They’re okay. Everyone else is mostly okay, too. Father Gabriel got burned a bit, trying to get out.” The tone of his voice made it clear he wasn’t surprised, but none of them would have been. Father Gabriel had a tendency to bumble into things and get himself hurt; it was just luck that he hadn’t brought down someone else in the process yet. “Noah, Ivy, Hank, and Tara are coughing a lot. Tyreese said they were sleeping in the living room when the fire started and they had to wake ‘em up. Come on, we’re at the stairs.”

There wasn’t enough room for the three of them to walk abreast down the steps, Daryl knew that at a glance. Before he could say anything though, Beth was shifting Rick’s weight more onto him. “You’re gonna have to take him, you’re stronger than me. I’ll take Judith back, into her carrier. Daryl, if you need to, you lean on me and Sasha’s backs, okay?”

“I’ll be fine,” he grunted as he settled Rick’s full weight against his side. “He ain’t that heavy, definitely ain’t been eatin’ enough. C’mon, ain’t no safety in waiting here like fuckin’ targets, let’s go.”

Step by step, the group of them made their way down to the lawn where their family waited, shadows against the darkness lit by the flickering flames of the house beside them burning up. Their safety; gone. As Daryl reached the bottom step with Rick braced against him, Abraham came up on the other side, the strong man slipping his arm under Rick’s other side to help hold him up.

Beth, one hand holding Judith in the carrier on her chest and the other holding her gun, with her crossbow still strung over her bag on her back, came up in front of him with her brow furrowed. “Cars?” 

“Dunno if we can risk it.” Daryl shook his head. “Parked ‘em under the overhand. Whole bottom floor is on fire right there, and I saw people, comin’ out from the woods.”

Beth nodded and said smoothly, “They might be waiting.”

“Mm.” He adjusted Rick’s weight on his shoulder. “Might come around and fire on us.”

“Woods?” Beth spoke quietly, both of them so focused on each other that they didn’t seem to notice the whole group was listening in,gathering around them. “We gotta choose, fast. I don’t know how far we can make it without cars, with Rick and Carol unconscious.” 

“I’ve got Carol,” Tyreese said in a low voice, easily carrying the woman in his strong arms. 

“Whatever you think is best.” Michonne came up beside them, drawn blade shining in her hand as she looked from Daryl to Beth, and added, “Both of you.”

Daryl only allowed himself a second of surprise. The group had looked to him before for leadership when Rick wasn’t available, that didn’t shock him, even if it felt as unnatural as always. Beth being included in that was new, though looking at her right now, her eyes focused, her frame lit from behind by flames, he couldn’t be surprised. She was just as much in control as he was, right now.

“We can carry Rick as long as we need to,” Daryl said with a decisive nod, already turning to the woods at their left, “Woods are better. We can get away from them without risking getting more of our own shot at.” He knew these woods semi-well by now. They’d been here for almost two weeks, and he had done his share of scouting, usually with Beth at his side.

Apparently she was thinking along the same lines as him, as she came up beside him and asked, “The houses nearby?” 

Again, he nodded, feeling a hint of gratefulness for the fact that she always seemed to be in his head, following his thoughts without him even needing to speak. “One of ‘em had cars, remember? Saw ‘em in the garage, but we didn’t go in and check ‘em out, ‘cause the sun was settin’. We’ll head for there. Let’s go, now.” He cast a nervous glance behind them, seeing the house lit up stark against the night sky as the flames crackled and reached flame fingers up to the stars. “We’re exposed and they ain’t flushed us out for nothing.” 

It made him nervous, actually, that they hadn’t come after them yet. What had they flushed them out for? Because they _had_ quite clearly flushed them out. If they’d wanted them dead, they’d all have been dead right now. Whoever it was would have just had to block or fire all the exits, and they’d have burned right up. But they hadn’t. And if they’d wanted the house, they wouldn’t have burned it to the ground with all the supplies still instead. So why were they still alive? Why weren’t they being shot down where they stood, right now?

Why did he feel almost as if they were being _herded_?

Coming up beside him, Beth took his free hand for just a moment and squeezed; the contact was reassuring, though only for a moment. Both of them looked over their shoulders and for a second, as they saw the frame of the house lit up by flames against the night sky, he knew they were both remembering that night; fingers upthrust against the sky as they burned down his bad memories together.

This was so far from that. This wasn’t a fire of rebirth.

Worry furrowed his brow as Daryl carried Rick into the woods with Abraham’s help, both of them supporting the man between them as the group surrounded them. Even as he walked, Daryl took a moment to catalog everyone; to see who was coughing, who was limping, who had anything in their hands or on their backs. Most of them had weapons, but he could tell at a glance that plenty had been left behind. Not just weapons but almost all of their food, their cars, their medical supplies. They were down to almost nothing again. “Like animals on the run.”

He hadn’t realized he’d whispered those words out loud until Beth murmured from beside him, “Like herdin’ cattle.” 

Daryl’s eyebrow raised as he looked over at her. “What?” 

She shook her head and worry marred her pale face, barely visible now with the light of the fire fading behind them. “It’s like when we used to herd the cattle, back on the farm. They’ve got what’s called a ‘flight zone’. Kind of like what people call a personal bubble, you know?” She moved silently through the woods, barely making a sound, despite the crackling of branches under the feet of everyone around them. 

To his surprise, Maggie came up beside them and chimed in lowly, “You stay outside of the cattle’s flight zone, they’re fine. But if you get into their personal space, cattle will try to get away from you.”

Her gaze strayed to her sister for just a moment, and a hint of a pleased smile crossed her lips before Daryl saw worry shutter it, and she added lowly, “You get into a group of cattle’s collective flight zone, make ‘em uncomfortable, and you can herd them, apply pressure to get them where you want them to go.”

Beth looked up at him and her eyes had that glint of steel once more as she pointed behind her to the flaming house. “Flight zone.” She pointed to their group. “Herd.” 

Though Daryl felt a chill go down his spine, it was Abraham who groaned beside them as he walked, helping to shoulder Rick’s weight still. “Girl, you’re gonna give me chills, talkin’ like that.” 

He didn’t miss the faint tightening of her lips as she shrugged beside him, before her hand came up to smooth back Judith’s soft hair. “Maybe I’m wrong. I just have this...”

“Itch?” Daryl raised his eyebrow at her, until she nodded. “Yeah. Me too.” He looked ahead with a frown, and picked up the pace. “Let’s keep movin’. Sooner we can get to those cars, sooner we can put a good distance between us and them. Herdin’ or not, I ain’t riskin’ it.” 

Daryl was too smart to ignore Beth’s words, especially when he had that same niggling sensation deep inside him. His warning bells were going off, and they weren’t quieting, even as they got further away from the burning remnants of their once-safe haven. 

They walked on steady, the moon lighting their path from above, but Daryl couldn’t stop glancing over his shoulder as if trying to pick out shapes in the woods behind them. 

He felt like prey. He felt like he was being _hunted_.

And he didn’t like it one bit.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know everyone likes the romantic chapters, but I love ones like this, too. It's fun writing them as a team, finishing each other's thoughts and plans, working like they were always meant to be partners. Though I do promise a few sweeter moments next chapter, there will be action there, as well. The next update should hopefully be tomorrow night. I might not always be able to do daily updates, but I will do my best to at least do every other day, if I can't manage!
> 
> ALSO, if any of you are interested, I would love it if you checked out the new one-shot Bethyl fic I posted yesterday. It's called "[Wouldn't Kill You to Have a Little Faith](http://archiveofourown.org/works/2858519)", and it's another post-Coda fix-it, just obviously done differently from She's Breathing. <3


	23. Stalked

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The group has escaped the fire, but they can still feel the flames licking at their heels no matter how hard they run.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is another group-chapter, though I tried to include a few nice Bethyl moments. Enjoy!

The fire chased them, or so it felt to Beth. No matter how deep they got into the woods, it was like she could feel the flames right behind her, licking at her heels, urging her to keep moving, keep going, keep running. They walked through the night until they got to the house that she and Daryl had scouted the other day. Beth had kept Judith close in the carrier at her chest, and Daryl right beside her as he and Abraham carried Rick between them. To Beth’s surprise, Maggie had stayed at her other side the entire time. It had only taken one look at her sister for Beth to understand what she was thinking. They’d gotten separated in the fire, and Maggie had imagined losing Beth again, and this time, she was determined to stick by her.

It felt right, having Maggie at her side, even with all that they’d gone through. Despite how much her sister had hurt her, despite how angry Beth had been, she would never want Maggie gone. Her breath only hitched slightly when she made herself reach out and take Maggie’s hand and squeeze it. She could only last for a few moments, but she knew from the grateful look on Maggie’s face when she pulled back, that it was enough. 

The only time Maggie left her side was when they reached the house that she and Daryl had scouted. With Daryl and Abe holding up Rick, and Tyreese still carrying Carol, Daryl suggested Michonne, Maggie, Glenn, and Rosita go in and clear the house, just in case. 

Beth couldn’t fail to notice that both she and Daryl’s worried gazes well equally on both the house in front of them, and the forest behind them. They couldn’t see the fire anymore, but she could feel it, right at her heels.

Once the house was clear they’d headed inside, but everyone had known they couldn’t stay long. The fire was too close, licking at their backs, reminding them of the risk of those shadowy figures in the woods. But they had to care for their wounded. As Rick and Carol were laid out on the couches, Daryl and Beth’s eyes had met, and another silent conversation had sparked between them. Within moments, Daryl was grabbing Abraham and Rosita and going to scout out the cars in the garage, while Beth took over with their injured in the living room.

She wasn’t alone, of course. Noah and Ivy were her usual go-to helpers, but hearing their coughs had Beth insisting they sit down, along with Hank and Tara and Sasha. “You need to just relax, and breathe, okay? We don’t have oxygen or anything to give you, so just need to breathe nice and slow, and stay here by the open window. “Tyreese?” The large man came up to stand over her, and she smiled at him. “Will you keep an eye on them, for me? And Judy...” She looked down, and noticed that the baby had fallen asleep in the carrier on her chest, probably lulled by the steady gait of her steps as they’d walked here. 

Tyreese just chuckled as he gently took the baby from her, but Beth saw his worried gaze linger on Sasha, and then Carol. “They’ll be okay,” she reassured him softly, her hand lingering for just a second on his arm before she pulled it away. She couldn’t help but give that contact sometimes, when the urge to comfort filled her as it often did. It was an urge that went back to a time when she had been all physical comfort and affection; when Beth’s way of showing she cared had been in hugs and touches and kisses on cheeks. Some days it made her angry, to think of how the ease of that had been ripped away from her, that she could no longer comfortably give or receive comfort (to most people, anyway) the way she once had.

Tonight, though, it didn’t seem as hard as it sometimes did, but Beth only had a brief moment to consider that maybe everything that had happened tonight was the cause of it. She couldn’t think about any of it right now, though. She had to push aside thoughts of Daryl’s hands on her just as much as she had to push away memories of the fire and her panic for her family, because that same family needed her right now. 

As she crossed back to the couches, she found Maggie and Michonne waiting for her. Beth wasn’t about to say no to help from anyone, but especially not when she saw that worried look in Michonne’s eyes as she looked down at Rick. The woman didn’t talk much, but in some ways she was like Daryl, in that her emotions could be read in the look of her dark eyes. 

“Rick first,” she said firmly. She’d checked Carol as they walked, and the woman had been knocked out similarly but there was no blood on the back of her head, just a bump. Rick was the one Beth was more worried about. With Michonne’s help, she got him elevated and sitting up against the arm of the couch so she could look at his wound. Before she could even reach for her bag, Maggie was there offering her a flashlight. “Thanks,” she said with a soft smile, before she moved to examine his wound.

“It doesn’t look too bad,” Beth said after a few minutes. “Nothing broken.” Catching sight of Carl nervously watching them, Beth flashed him a little smile. “Don’t worry, Carl, your Dad’s head is much too hard.” 

“Damn straight.” Michonne chuckled, but Beth could see the relief in her eyes.

With Maggie’s help, Beth soon had Michonne pressing a rag to Rick’s wound to stop the bleeding. The man wasn’t fully unconscious, Beth could hear him groaning occasionally and coming in and out. “He just needs time to come out of it, I think.” She rose to her feet from where she had been crouched on her haunches. “If he starts to throw up, let me know, okay? He might have a concussion.” 

Trusting Michonne and Carl to keep and eye on Rick, Beth turned her attention to Carol. The woman was awake now, smiling weakly up at Beth from where she lay on the couch. “Cowards came up behind me, didn’t they.” 

Beth nodded. “Got you with a rock, I think. But you’ll be okay. See if you can sit up with me?”

Carol moved slowly, but with Maggie’s arm under hers they eventually got her sitting upright so Beth could look at the back of her head again. Her fingers were gentle as they moved over the bump there, whispering an apology the moment Carol flinched. “I think you’ll be okay. What we _really_ need is to ice it, but well...” They all knew ice was a thing of the past, except in winter. 

She drew back to look down at Carol with a weary smile on her face. “Why don’t you just stay sitting and rest, okay? If you feel dizzy, put your head between yours legs. If you feel queasy then you let me know, yeah?”

With a slow nod, Carol murmured back, “Yeah. And thanks, Beth.” 

“S’nothing,” she said automatically, though it was warmer than it usually sounded when Daryl did it. 

“No,” Carol said firmly, gently squeezed Beth’s hand before letting it go. “It’s not nothing. We’d be a lot worse off without you, okay?” 

The compliment was both warming and yet too much at the same time, especially combined with the nearness of the group. But it _was_ warming, and Beth did appreciate it, so she made sure to smile down at Carol softly before she pulled back. They wouldn’t be able to stay here long, but Beth knew they’d have to grab as much as they could before they went. They had almost nothing, again.

It wasn’t until she got to the hallway that Beth realized Maggie was behind her. With a considering look over her shoulder, Beth said simply, “Gonna look for medical supplies. If you wanna help.” 

Maggie just nodded and moved to the closet, while Beth began to rummage through the medicine cabinet. As she set an ace bandage and some gauze down on the counter, she heard Maggie say behind her, “She’s right, you know.” 

“Hm?” Her back tightened, but only faintly. 

“Carol. We’d be a lot worse off, without you. Without you _and_ Daryl, sure, but without you, too.” Maggie went quiet for a moment as she pulled out a few towels, but as she settled them onto the floor she went on carefully, “All this medical stuff... You learned it at the hospital?” 

Her hand tensed around a bottle of pills as she drew it from the cabinet and turned it slowly to look at the label. For a second her breathing hitched but then it settled, and Beth found that she was okay with answering, for now anyway. “The Doctor in the hospital that helped saved me, Dr. Edwards? He... when I came in, he sort of chose me to help him, I guess.” The word that had come to mind was _claimed_ , but she wasn’t ready for talk like that, right now. “I was his assistant, anyway. He taught me some things, caring for the patients in the hospital, the people that got brought in.”

There was quiet behind her, and she had a feeling Maggie was trying to toe the edge of curiosity and not wanting to push too hard. It was the first time she’d spoken about the hospital to her sister, so she couldn’t blame her for being hesitant. “Then I guess we have more to be thankful to him for, than just saving you.”

“No.” Beth spoke low and quick, and her throat jerked a little as she tried to swallow and found her mouth dry. “I dunno. Is there a line, where the good things a person’s done can make up for the bad? Do we even know where it is?” Her eyes pressed briefly shut as she remembered the way Joan had jerked and screamed beneath her while Beth had held her down so they could cut off her limb. She remembered the hot splashes of blood hitting her face. She remembered the sight of that man convulsing underneath her, killed by her own hand, albeit unintentionally. Her body had begun to tremble just faintly, and her voice was hoarse when she finally murmured, “He was not a good man, Maggie. None of them were. It was a _bad_ place.” 

“Beth, I’m sorry-” 

She could hear Maggie rising to her feet, and she shook her head. “No, it’s okay. I mean it. I don’t mind you asking a little.” Beth drew slowly in and out, before she felt comfortable occupying her trembling hands with pulling more supplies from the cabinets. The pain pills were expired, but everything was these days. The bandage and gauze would be good for Rick, though, and there was antibiotic cream, too.

“Whatever happened to you there...” The carefulness in Maggie’s tone made it clear she wouldn’t pry. “It made you stronger.” 

Beth bit down on her lip at that, worrying at it for a moment before she shrugged one shoulder. “I don’t know. It made me weaker, too, in some ways.” They both knew that the panic attacks and nightmares she had now had stemmed from her captivity there. “But I think it helped bring things out of me.” Her brow furrowed as she remembered how she’d felt in that place, how rather than give in like the old her might have, she had found this inner strength inside of her and _clung to it_. 

She knew that strength better, now. It had been born in the moments where she’d cut into her wrist and decided to live. It had been fed in the flight from the farm, in the weeks on the run with the group. It had patiently fostered itself inside her as they stayed within the presumed safety of the prison walls, flaring in the protection of Judith, in the crack of a gun in her hand that day she’d shot at the ceiling to stop a fight in front of her. It was the same strength that had kept her from falling to the ground when she’d watched her Daddy die in front of her.

That strength had been there inside of her, but it had been honed in her time with Daryl. It had been sharpened by the weight of his crossbow in her arms for the first time, by the feel of the bone-handled knife in her hand, by the gruff compliment in his voice in the country club when she’d taken care of herself and saved her own life. It had been honed by the look in his eyes that night, his face washed in flickering candlelight as he just _looked_ at her, like she was all the hope he’d ever seen in the world. 

Her strength had turned to steel in her time at the hospital, but only because Daryl had helped to light the flame that prepared it for that tempering. 

“It was my time with Daryl that made me the strongest,” Beth said after a long moment. She closed the medicine cabinet and looked into the mirror, her gaze skimming past her scars to her sister’s reflection behind her. “Not because I wasn’t strong before him, but because he saw it and trusted it, and his trust helped me be more confident in it. He helped me take that strength and learn to use it, too.” 

Maggie rose up slowly, her arms filled with stacked towels and what looked like a bottle of rubbing alcohol. “You two are... good together.” 

A smile twitched across Beth’s lips before she could stop herself. “Was that really hard to say?”

When her big sister chuckled, Beth felt something ease between them, but she was still glad to hear that Maggie’s voice was honest and serious as she replied, “Only a little. But it’s true.You make a good team. If we hadn’t all seen that already, we definitely saw it today. And we’re all better for it.” 

For a moment, Beth’s whole face lit up with a smile, before she tugged out the bottom of her shirt and slid her fingers off the counter and into them so she could carry them back out. “C’mon, we can’t stay much longer, and I wanna try and bandage Rick’s head before we go.”

When she exited the bathroom, though, she made sure to bump her arm just lightly against Maggie’s. There might still be issues between them, but Beth was glad to have her sister at her side.

*** 

Daryl was in the living room when they got back, and their eyes met the moment she came into the room. When he signaled towards a table in the corner with a nod of his head, Beth instantly made her way towards him. 

She hadn’t even been aware of how much tension she was carrying in her body until his hand ghosted down over her back, and she felt it begin to melt away with a soft sigh.

“Y’okay?” His voice was rough with concern, making her lean into him as she set her supplies down on the table. Her shoulder pressed against his chest, her hip nudging his waist as she settled against him for a moment and just nodded. When he rested his chin on her head and rubbed it lightly against her hair, Beth felt the last of her tension (at least, the tension brought up by thinking about the hospital) melt away. 

Even though she was conscious of the eyes on them, Beth stayed there for a few moments just to compose herself in the safe warmth of his body. When she felt better, she busied her hands by sorting through her stash as she asked him back, “Are _you_ okay?” 

One shoulder lifted in a shrug. “Could be better. Will be...” 

“When we’re further away from here,” Beth finished intuitively, pulling the bandage, gauze, and antibiotic cream from the pile. “Are the cars working?” 

“They’re alright. Two of ‘em, ones got a full tank, one has a half. Little rusty, but they’ll get us a good distance, anyway.” She didn’t need to ask to know that he was worried that a ‘good distance’ still might not be enough. She could feel the proverbial flames still warming her skin from a distance. 

“I just need to wrap Rick’s head, and then we should be safe to go. You wanna...” She trailed off, and gestured back into the house.

Daryl just gave an easy nod. “Yeah, I’ll have some of us look around, scrounge up whatever we can. Y’ need anythin’ specific?” 

A tired smile crossed her lips as she tilted her head back. “I’ll settle for whatever we can get. But anythin’ Judith could eat would be good. All her formula...” She shook her head. It had all gone up in flames. “I was gonna mash her up some food from the canned stuff we had, too, but...” But that was gone, too.

“I’ll find what I can. You go take care of Rick, okay?” 

Beth lingered against him for just a moment more before she felt him draw away, and she moved back to Rick. The fact that the man was conscious when she got back to him was both good and bad. Good, because obviously she didn’t want him to pass out again; her skills at first aid only went so far. Bad, though, because it meant he was awake for her pouring the alcohol over his head wound to clean it, and she _knew_ it stung, despite how well he held himself together for Carl’s sake. 

Once it was clean, she slathered it in antibiotic cream, pressed gauze gently to the spot, and wrapped his head with the ace bandage. “There,” she murmured, her touch gentle as she gave him a smile. “That should be better, and it’s a very dashing look for you, I promise.” Seeing the quirk of his mouth, Beth added softly, “You’ll be fine, okay? Just take it easy, and let me know if you get queasy,? We’ve got two cars working in the garage, and once Daryl and the others get what supplies we can from this place, we’re gonna head out.”

“Thank you, Beth.” Rick hand gently squeezed her knee, and Beth played her reaction off as teasing as she eased out gently from under it. “Oh not you too. I’m just doing my job, okay? We’ve all got jobs.” 

“And yours is takin’ care of all of us, from what I can see,” Rick remarked slowly, leaning back with a faint groan, though he smiled up at her when he said it.

“Yeah, well, Daddy always said I was a nurturer.” Talking about her father stung, it always did, but each time it seemed to get a tiny bit easier. The understanding smile she saw on Maggie’s lips helped, but these days,whenever Beth thought of her father, she wondered what he’d think of who she’d become. She just hoped he’d be proud of her. 

Sometimes, it was harder to be sure he would be. Would her Daddy be proud of his little girl, with blood on her hands and scars on her cheeks and what felt like the weight of the world on her shoulders, sometimes?

Her gaze strayed to Daryl as he came back into the room just in time to catch her eyes when she stood up. The pride in _his_ eyes was obvious, mingled in with all the other emotions that seemed to appear there these days; affection, worry, hope, care, and other, far deeper things. 

When he was looking at her like that, full of pride in who she was, it always made it easier for Beth to believe that her Daddy would be proud of her, too.

*** 

They had only stayed at the cabin as long as they’d needed to. As soon as supplies had been gathered and their injured cared for, they’d crammed themselves into the cars (one a two door sedan, the other thankfully an SUV with more room), and headed out onto the road. 

The feeling of fire at their backs didn’t go away, at least not for Beth. Whenever she’d glance over at Daryl, driving the SUV while she sat in the passenger seat, Beth knew he felt the same way. They both felt those flames chasing them, creeping ever closer, threatening to scorch their backs. The fire made them drive faster, push harder, but nothing seemed to make it go away.

Eventually the cars ran out of gas, and they had to switch back to walking. At least by that point they had gotten some good driving done, and their injured members had had time to rest. They hadn’t stopped even to sleep, when they had the cars. They just takes turns driving while everyone else slept. At least Beth had managed to get some rest, but only when Daryl had gotten into the backseat (at her insistence) and she’d been able to curl against his side and fall asleep with Judith cradled warm against her chest.

They were relying on Daryl to guide them through the woods, and there was no doubt everyone trusted him to lead them. Despite his never having been this far north before, he had an instinct for the woods, for following the small roads that would bring them north to Virginia. It was only on the second day after the fire that they realized how far they’d come, when the small road they were on through the woods was marked by a small little sign: _North Carolina Welcomes You_. 

Beth knew the moment Daryl saw it. He was walking slightly ahead of her because she’d slowed to try and sooth Judith, who was fussing in her carrier on Tyreese’s chest. Though she didn’t feel comfortable enough to sing loudly, soft humming seemed to calm the baby down. Just as she’d begun to settle, Beth had looked ahead and seen Daryl’s steps slowing, hesitancy in the lines of his body as he looked at the sign ahead of him.

Everyone else moved as if it were nothing, crossing the invisible line like they hadn’t even noticed the sign. Maybe they hadn’t. But Daryl had, and that was all that mattered to Beth. The world narrowed to only him as she came up slowly beside him. Her hand reached down, fingers lacing through his, and she both heard and saw the sigh ease through his body as she leaned up on her toes and whispered, “I’ve never been out of Georgia.” 

He turned to her, his blue eyes dark with a flurry of emotions that Beth could almost feel. “Me either.” She could see in his eyes that a small part of him was afraid. Not of the fire on their heels, but of the step they were about to take. It was momentous for both of them, in a way. Far more than just stepping over a line. It was almost like stepping into a new world, unfamiliar territory. Like moving into a vast and unpredictable future.

Everything in this world was unpredictable of course, but there had always been that sort of safety in the background, the familiarity of being in the state they’d grown up in, the state neither of them had ever left. Not even Daryl, for all the traveling he’d done with Merle. Crossing this line would mean leaving that safety and familiarity behind. In a way, it was almost like that night together, burning down the shack under the light of the moon, both of them flushed with moonshine. 

There was no moonshine tonight, but there was still the two of them, side-by-side.

Beth was afraid too, and she let him see it in her eyes for a moment before she leaned in and let her nose nuzzle against his shoulder. He smiled just faintly at that, and murmured for her ears alone, “Together?” 

Her reply was a single word, breathed out without hesitation, “Always.” 

Hand in hand, they hesitated only a moment, and then stepped over the invisible line together.

They got a few steps before Beth found herself unexpectedly giggling. As with everything these last couple days, she kept herself quiet, but the laughter still bubbled up within her and made her body quiver. Ignoring the way their family craned their heads over their shoulders to look back at her, Beth turned to look up at Daryl instead, and was rewarded by the sight of his lips curving into a slow smile just for her.

“You bein’ silly, girl?” 

“A little.” She let her arm slide around his back, and smiled when she felt his hand come to rest on her lower back; out of sight of the group ahead, but enough for her to feel, which was all that mattered. “It just hit me, you know. Of all the ways I thought I’d leave Georgia when I was younger, it wasn’t ever like this.”

“No?” He raised his eyebrow in a silent question.

“Oh, I dunno. A road trip with Maggie, maybe, or some friends, maybe even a vacation.” She paused, and a thought occurred to her that made her smile soften and grow warmer, all at the same time. 

“What?” Of course he saw it. He was always saying how well she read him, but these days, Daryl was so fluent in the language of her smiles that he could read her like a book, most times. 

“I was just thinking, this is better.” She let her hand press firmly to his back as she tipped her head to look up at him. “Even with feeling like something ain’t right, like something is chasing us... This is still better.” She waited just long enough for the silent question in his eyes again, and another smiled crossed her lips as she said easily, “Cause I’m with you.” 

“Yeah.” Daryl nodded, and she caught just a glimpse of a teasing smirk tugging at his lips as he replied, “You’re a damn sight better to look at than Merle would have been.” 

“Hey!” She chuckled softly, but Beth knew what mentioning his brother did to him sometimes. It was the same for her, thinking of her Daddy, her Mama, Shawn... Shawn, who’d never had a chance to leave home either. Who never would. When Beth spoke again her voice was soft and hushed. “They’re with us, I bet.”

“Hm?”

“Daddy, Mama, Shawn... Merle. They crossed that line with us. They’re always with us.” She said it was the soft determination of someone who truly believed, and she didn’t falter even at the unsure look in Daryl’s eyes. Beth just raised her hand and tapped lightly on his heart with a gentle finger. “Here. Always.” 

When he stayed silent and looked ahead, Beth let him. They didn’t often need words between them. Just the look in his eyes before he’d turned away was enough for Beth to know that he’d heard her, and that the words had sunk in. For now, she was content to walk in the quiet between them, moving with their family deeper into North Carolina and up into the mountains.

But after a few moments, another smile crossed her lips as she added, “I thought it would feel like leaving home, but it doesn’t. You know why?”

She felt him turn to look down at her, and so Beth met his eyes, blue holding blue in a long, meaningful gaze. “Because home isn’t a place, anymore. It’s you. It’s our family, too, but it’s especially you.” 

He just smiled, understanding in his eyes as he leaned in and kissed her temple. “Yeah. Yeah, it is.”

*** 

They walked until the sun was close to setting, stopping only when they had to; to eat, to catch their breath, to check on the injured in their group. That sensation of distant simmering fire never eased, in fact it only seemed to get worse, and more bubbled in her to join it. The itch was back without a doubt, and with it, another unpleasant feeling. It took her awhile to pinpoint it, but when it hit her the thought almost gave her small panic attack right in the middle of the road.

It was the way she’d felt at the hospital, whenever Gorman was nearby. That sensation of being watched, followed... _stalked_. Like he might always be there behind her, waiting to get her alone, watching for his chance. It felt like that, and the click of pinpointing that feeling in her mind made Beth shiver. Her chest tightened, she felt panic begin to creep over her like cold water slowly dripping down her neck and back, but this time, she forced herself to hold it at bay.

Panicking now would do nothing for her family. It would only slow them down, perhaps even put them at risk. It would put Judy at risk and Carl and Rick, and Maggie, and Glenn, and Daryl. _Daryl_. Beth sought him out instantly; as they’d rested by the roadside, he’d gone ahead a bit to scout out the path ahead and she could see him coming back now, his figure a dark but familiar shape against the small, tree-lined road. She imagined him in her mind; blue eyes fixed on hers, the low sound of his voice telling her to breathe in deep, to breathe _with_ him until the panic eased. Until she had it under control again.

It almost flared up though, once he got close enough for her to see the look on his face. “We got a problem,” he said to the group, jabbing his thumb over his shoulder. “S’bridge up ahead, over a ravine. It’s out. Looks like it fell, somehow.”

Beth felt that itch at the back of her neck, and worry gnawing in her gut. It feel, somehow. _Or someone took it down._ Her eyes met Daryl’s, confirming that he was thinking the same as she was. He didn’t want to mention it, and she didn’t blame him. They didn’t need anyone panicking.

Rick, resting on a stump by the side of the small road, tilted his head up at them. “Can we get around?”

With a nod, Daryl replied, “Yeah. Gotta go a bit out of the way, but there’s another bridge a bit down, near as I can tell. Off the road and into the woods a bit.” 

The itch she sometimes felt- the warning bells, as Daryl called them- weren’t something she’d ever spoken of to anyone but him. But if there was ever a time to speak her mind, she knew it was now. She knew the group had grown to trust her more and more, to see her as an adult; even if she had a feeling some of them saw her strength more as an extension of Daryl’s, than on her own. Even still, it _was_ strength they saw.

“I don’t like it.” Her voice was quiet, but firm. “Ever since we left the house, I’ve had this feelin’... Like the fire is right there behind us just waiting to catch up. Like we’re being watched. _Stalked_.” 

“Well we’ve all been on edge, since the fire...” That was Abraham, coming up beside them, his fingers hooked into his belt loops as Rosita came up beside him. Across from them, Beth saw Michonne coming to stand beside Rick, and Carol rising to her feet from where she’d been sitting a short distance away to come up with Tyreese.

Beth hadn’t failed to notice that though they were all a group together, certain people always seemed to gather around when important things were being discussed; Rick, Michonne, Carol, Daryl, Maggie, Glenn, sometimes Tyreese and Sasha, and now usually Abraham, too, and often Rosita beside him. In the past, Beth had always found herself off to the side; watching the children or sitting with the quieter (weaker) members. It had come as a surprise to realize that these days, not only was she included in the more decisive members of the group, but her opinion was not only allowed, but listened to. 

Shaking her head at Abraham’s remark, Beth took that new knowledge and used it to encourage herself to go on, “No. I know what it’s like to be stalked.” She said it as calmly as she could, but she didn’t think any of them failed to see the brief hint of coldness in her eyes, or the tightness in her shoulders that only eased when Daryl came around and put his hand on her lower back. 

“I’ve felt it, too,” he remarked, fingers slipped under her shirt where no one could see them, to splay warmly against her lower back. It was just what she needed to shove back that sense of panic another time. “Like we’re being herded, or... tracked. Hunted, the way I’d hunt a deer or a rabbit.” 

Rick rose to his feet with a groan, holding up a hand when Beth moved as if to slow him. He was still a little unsteady on his feet, but he’d been getting gradually better, to her relief. When he was standing, he drew in a deep breath and said, “You think that bridge was downed on purpose? To make us go another way?” 

Daryl stared off into the distance for a long moment, until he nodded. “Might’ve been. Problem is, if it was, ain’t nothin’ we can do. They chose a good spot. Gorge gets wider, to the right. Ain’t no way to cross it, unless we walk for miles, and the terrain looks rough, too. Especially with some of us injured. Going to the left is the only easy option, so if it’s a trap... S’well done. We ain’t got much other choice, than to go that way.” 

“We’ve got something,” Michonne said softly, fingers curled around the hint of her sword. “We’re not walking in completely blind, if you two are right about what you’re feeling. After everything we’ve gone through, I’m inclined to believe you. So we’re prepared. Least, as much as we can be.” 

Beth felt a momentary longing for all the weapons they’d lost, back at the burning cabin. They didn’t have much, now. Rick’s machete and gun, both of which he’d had on him, and Carol’s gun and knife. Michonne’s sword, her and Daryl’s bows, guns, and knives. Of the rest of them, only Abraham, Maggie, and Glenn had managed to grab their weapons. Everyone else had lost theirs, including the large part of their gun collection. 

“If we don’t have a choice about the route, we can at least go in prepared.” Rick fingered the butt of his gun. “We divide the weapons up, best we can. Go in formation, the way we did back in Atlanta. We stay on edge, until we cross that bridge and get a good distance away, alright? If you’re right, and whoever burned down that house is still after us, maybe we’ll catch them off guard. After all, they don’t know who they’re chasing after. We do.” 

The sentiment tugged at a sense of pride inside of her, but Beth still felt worry coiling low in her belly. They knew who they were, of course, how strong they could be as a family. But the same went for them as did whoever was after them: they had no idea who they were facing. They had no idea who was out there, hunting them, waiting for them. Or what they wanted.

With no other choice, the group moved on edge through the woods, their less-strong in the center, protected and safe, the rest of them in a loose circle around them, armed as best they could be. Daryl and Beth were at point, both holding their cocked crossbows, ready for any sign of trouble.

The problem was that they saw no signs. They saw nothing as they walked through the woods, nothing as they came to the bridge and paused to study their surroundings, nothing even as they walked over it cautiously... and when they finally saw the trouble, it was too late.

From in front of them, the group of men practically melted out of the woods. They were dressed like hunters, every last one of them. Not in the bright orange required in some states, but in the woodsy camouflage that allowed anyone wearing it to almost fade into the trees. There were four of them total, that she could see. All relatively tall and fit, with the lean bodies most survivors had these days. They were armed, of course. Three of them had rifles but one, to Beth’s surprise, was carrying a bow. Not a crossbow, but... 

“ _Compound bow_ ,” Daryl whispered beside her, his body tense as he instantly raised his bow. Beth followed just a second behind, sighting on the men in front of them. 

Slowly, trying not to draw attention, she signaled to those behind them, trying to get the group to back up over the bridge where they could safely slip back into the woods.

“I wouldn’t try that if I were you,” said the man with the compound bow. He used his bow to point behind them, and Beth risked a glance over her shoulder in time to see three more men ease out of the woods. All were in the same camouflage and all were armed; one with a rifle, one with a shotgun, and the third holding a smaller version of the bow ( _compound bow_ , Daryl’s voice echoed in her mind) that the speaker held.

“As you can see, my boys have you all plenty surrounded, and it seems to me like you’re stuck on that bridge right there.” He lowered his bow just enough to look over at them, and the tight smile that crossed his eyes made Beth’s stomach clench just as much as the cold excitement in his eyes did as he said, “You wouldn’t want to do that, would you? That’d ruin the little game we’ve got going, and me an’ my boys, well, we’ve got a bit more in mind to play.”

Beth saw the others raise their guns beside her, heard Rosita, Abraham and Maggie in the back turn around to cover the men at their backs. 

“Now now. Ain’t no need for that,” the man said, coming towards them with a faint smile on his lips. “Just set down your weapons, and we’ll have a nice chat about the rules of this little game we’re gonna play.” 

“Ain’t gonna play no goddamn game with you,” Daryl said roughly. Beth could feel him all tense beside her, knew he was sighting down his bow and preparing to fire if he thought the timing was right. She was right there with him, sighting on the arm of one of the men with the rifles, ready to fire if Daryl did.

But before they could, the man with the bow said coldly, “Now that just won’t do. You gotta learn the rules, don’t you? You gotta learn to _listen_.” 

Beth didn’t even see what he did. There was just a flash of movement (later, she’d decide he’d given some sort of signal), and a shot rang out loud behind them.

She turned just in time to see Abraham go down, blood stark and red against his dirtied green shirt. Everything seemed to be moving in slow motion. She could hear her heartbeat pounding in her ears, could hear Daryl biting back a curse beside her, could hear Rosita keen behind her, “ _Abraham_!” And then everything inside of her went cold as she turned to face the man with the bow in his hands and a cruel smirk on his lips. 

“Now. How about you lower those weapons, and we’ll get to talking about them rules.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I always get worried posting chapters like this. I promise, the "action" will slow soon. Next chapter will be extra action-packed, but the ending is one I've been looking forward to for ages now, so you have that to look forward to. And after that, it'll ease quite a bit, so you'll get plenty of the Bethyl moments you love. Just think of these couple chapters as those super tense and dramatic ones we get each season of TWD! 
> 
> Just FYI, the next chapter MAY be up tomorrow, but I think it is more likely it will be the day after. Given the intensity of the action I have planned, I think I'm going to need time to make sure I get it right. We've been building to this (all of it) for awhile now, so I want to do it justice. However, I may post a one-shot I've been working on tomorrow that will hopefully tide you over a little? Subscribe to me if you wanna be notified! And thanks again for all your comments and your continued readership! <33


	24. Lambs for the Slaughter

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "She hid the rage behind her big, innocent blue eyes, and let him see just what he wanted to see. Lambs for the slaughter, and him unaware that there were fierce wolves hiding under those sheep skins. "

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This VERY LONG chapter (which I couldn't bear to separate into two chapters) is the product of two days of work, but more importantly, it is my testament to what I _thought_ the show was building to. It's my attempt to use every foreshadowing line about Beth learning to hunt, and track ("pretty soon I won't need you anymore"), every line about her being a strong fighter, every hint about her coming into her own and being "the new Beth Greene". It is also my love song to the women of TWD, who deserve more than they often get on this show. And of course, it's for Beth and Daryl, and how they always find their way back to each other.
> 
> FYI, this chapter (unlike the others), bounces back and forth between Beth and Daryl's perspectives; it was necessary because of all the action.
> 
>  **WARNINGS** : Depictions of violence and minor character death, discussion of other violent things. Please note, however, there is NO reference to sexual harassment or rape. Mama does not play that game when there are plenty of other ways to make men evil.

Daryl hated feeling helpless. His whole childhood he had been helpless; unable to stop his mother from drinking herself to death, unable to stop his father from beating him till his back ran red with his own blood. He’d grown up helpless, too, unable to do anything but follow along in Merle’s wake, dragged along behind him like a useless kite on a tattered string. It had only been after the world ended, after the dead began to ride, that Daryl had found a usefulness within himself, a sense of control.

It was in the times where that sense of control was taken from him that he felt his weakest. Watching Merle come towards him, shambling, a walker he needed to put down. Watching Hershel die in front of him, that blade slicing right across his neck. Watching that white cross disappearing into the distance, exhaust pumping from the pipe and Beth inside, Beth being taken from him, Beth getting further and further away while he’d been helpless to do anything but run. He’d felt it watching her stab that woman in the chest too, felt it at the sound of that gunshot going off, felt it as he saw her blood spill across the tiled floor.

He’d also felt something else. _Rage_. Fury. A fierce storm within him, building up, revolting against the thought that he could do nothing but stand there. He was tired of just being forced to stand there and watch. He was tired of being helpless. 

It simmered under his skin now as Abraham fell to the ground and bled out across the wooden planks of the bridge, shot by some unknown sniper hidden in the woods. Rage built like a slow burning flame as the man with the compound bow took another few steps closer to them. He knew men like this. He’d lived with men like this most of his life. They were hunters, without a doubt. Men used to surviving in the wild even before all this went down. Men used to doing what they had to do to live, used to making their own rules. He saw the coldness in their eyes, the tight smiles across their lips, and he knew these men almost as well as he knew himself.

Because they _were_ him, in some ways. They were who he might have been, who he might have become, if he and Merle hadn’t stumbled upon that group outside of Atlanta. If Rick hadn’t found them. If they hadn’t pressed on, always running, until they’d found that farm, and Hershel, and his two daughters. If he hadn’t found a family decades after most people did. If he’d never gotten to know _Beth_.

Knowing the men standing in front of him didn’t help. In some ways it only made him more worried, more afraid. He knew what they could do, and that was a disturbing thought, especially when he had his family at his back and Beth beside him. 

_Beth_. He stepped imperceptibly closer to her, fighting the urge to protect her which warred against the desire to not let any of these men know how important she was to him. It would only create a weakness, one that they’d use to their advantage if they could. 

“Now unless you want my sniper to pick off another one of you, here’s what you’re gonna do,” the leader said in a slow drawl, “Is lower those weapons nice and easy. We’ll let you keep them, for now. Or some of you, anyway. I want all the ladies to come right up over here, by my boys Randall and Allen, okay? They’re gonna keep an eye on you all.”

“No.” The word was on the tip of Daryl’s lips, but it was Rick who spoke first. The man’s gun was still up, pointed at the leader as he went on, “We’re not letting you take any of our group, come on now. Let’s all calm down, and work out some kind of arrangement.”

“This _is_ the arrangement, friend. Your ladies are gonna come over here with us, cause they’re gonna play the first part of our little game, y’hear? Don’t worry, though, we’ve got just as much fun in mind for you boys, too.” 

There was a white noise roaring in his mind as he tried to find a way out of this. The way these men talked, the way they looked, they didn’t just remind him of himself. They reminded him of Joe, too, and his damn group of Claimers, and as soon as the man mentioned playing a game, all Daryl could think about was them trying to lay hands on the women, on _Beth_ , doing to her what that cop back at the hospital had tried to do. 

One of the other men came up from the side, moving towards Beth, and Daryl instantly took a step forward, aiming his crossbow right at his head. “Don’t you even _touch_ her. Or any of them.” 

“Aww, now, calm down, Archer. It ain’t touchin’, we’ve got in mind. We ain’t _animals_ after all.” He grinned, and the sight of it made Daryl’s stomach churn. “That’s the part _you’re_ playin’.” 

He heard sounds of struggle from behind, and looked to see that two of them hunters with guns had come up and grabbed Rosita and Tara. They had arms around their throats, and guns at their backs as they used them to push their way through the group, and their remaining hunter friend was coming up behind to try and bring the other women with them. Through his rage, Daryl saw Tyreese struggle to help, only to have a gun shoved in his face.

“See, we’re gonna do some hunting, that’s what we’re here for. And your little fillies here are gonna help us out. Ain’t that right, girly?” He lunged for Beth who lashed out, all spitfire and fierceness, trying to bring up her bow to whack the man over the head with it. He dodged at the last minute, ducking and spinning her around to grip her tight from behind as his friend reached around and yanked the bow roughly from her hands. 

Without hesitating, Daryl closed the gap and got right up to the man, crossbow pointed directly at his face. “Let her go. Now.” 

“No.” The hunter gave him a slow smile, just as Daryl felt steel press to the back of his head. “Now you lower your weapon, Archer, and do as your told. Your little filly here is already obliging, you see?” 

He looked down and felt guilt and horror curl low in his belly. The man had wrapped his arms around Beth from behind and was holding her tight. It wasn’t inappropriate, he wasn’t groping her, but that didn’t matter. Her breathing was coming short and her body was going limp and Daryl could see her retreating into herself, her eyes going cold. _Fuck, fuck, fuck_! 

The man just handed her off to one of his friends and watched as three of the men corralled them into a group and begin to lead them back towards the woods.

“Beth!” Daryl’s voice broke as he cried out to her, and in his mind her name echoed over and over again, feet pounding on the pavement as he’d chased after the car. This time, he called out to her not because he thought it would somehow bring her back to him, but because he _needed_ to see that light in her eyes, that fire. He needed to call her back, not physically, but mentally. If he couldn’t bring it back, then how could she save herself? 

For one perilous moment, there was nothing in her eyes. Just cold gray-blue, as if she were gone. As if there was nothing left. And then... a spark. Faint, unnoticeable to anyone else, but not to him. Her head lifted just slightly, just enough for her eyes to meet his, and he knew she was there. Daryl held her gaze as long as he could, drawing her out with his eyes, silently urging her to be strong until the men guided the women into the woods with prods of their weapons, and he couldn’t see her anymore.

“Now.” Compound stood in front of them, nodding to his three remaining men. “Ya’ll are just gonna drop your weapons nice and slow- don’t try anything, my boy in the woods still won’t hesitate to shoot you like we did the big guy- and then you’re gonna come with us. Can’t have you gettin’ in the way, while we hunt your fillies...” 

*** 

She had almost lost herself. The stranger’s arms had been around her stomach and chest, holding her tight, and all Beth could feel was Gorman’s touch, Gorman’s hands slipping up under her shirt. Everything had faded to a dull roar as her breath began to catch and she had felt herself retreating, pulling in to the only safe place she had left deep inside.

Then Daryl had called out her name, tossing it into that fog like a life-preserver. She had clung to it, letting it reel her out of that lost place until her eyes could find his and hold on. Beth’s gaze stayed on him as long as she could taking strength from the fire in his eyes even something inside of her broke at being pulled away from him.

She wouldn’t have fought even if she could. Beth wasn’t stupid. Struggling now would only get her and the others killed, and that was the last thing any of them wanted. It was the last thing _Daryl_ wanted. That look in his eyes wasn’t telling her to fight now it was telling her to wait. To be strong. To bide her time until they could fight their way back to each other. 

So Beth let them lead her and the other women into the woods, away from Rick and Daryl and Carl and all the other men. She saw Michonne walking alongside her, fingers twitching near the blade she wanted to reach for, but didn’t dare. She saw Maggie trying to get closer to her, worry in her eyes. She saw Carol stumbling and still weak, until Sasha came up beside her and slung her arm around her shoulder to keep her up right. 

Even though a part of her was afraid., Beth’s mind was racing already, trying to find a way out of this. She eyed the men from the corners of her eyes, judging not only who they were, but who they might expect her and the other women to be. She remembered the way they’d called them _fillies_ , and a faint smile briefly crossed her lips before she ducked her head to hide it. If the big strong ‘men’ expected scared little fillies, than that was what she’d give them. In a few steps, Beth began to tremble faintly, her lower lip quivering. “Please,” she whimpered, every inch the wide-eyed scared young girl, “Where are you taking us? Are you going to hurt us?” 

She bumped into Maggie, and when her big sister looked up at her in worry, Beth gave her as pointed a look as she could manage, so that her sister would catch on and now she wasn’t really this scared. To her credit, Maggie caught on fast. She wrapped her arm around Beth, leaning into her as they both trembled. “Please,” Maggie whimpered, holding the men’s attention while Beth looked around at the others and subtly urged them to catch on. “Please, we’ll go where you want, just don’t hurt us...”

It would have been too over-the-top if they’d all started it up at once, but they were a clever group of women. Far more clever than the men likely suspected. Ivy had an easy time looking afraid as she clutched Judith close, and though Beth knew that Sasha had Carol steady, she saw the two of them stumble and knew from the weak and unsteady way they walked now that they’d caught on, too. Rosita’s crying was genuine, as was the pain on Tara’s face as she held her, and while Beth felt a pang of sorrow for the man they’d left behind on the bridge, she also felt a twinge of anger for the fact that for now she had to push that sorrow away.

As far as she could tell, what they were doing was working. She saw a couple of the men shaking their heads, smiling at each other as they fitted the women into the narrow boxes they’d expected them to belong to. She was almost disappointed, really. A hunter like Daryl never would have fallen for something like this, but then, Daryl was the most observant man she knew.

“Set them up in the clearing, the way we planned. Then we can explain the rules to them.” The man who spoke was about the same height as Daryl, with hair that was short and graying, and cold dark eyes. His gaze roamed over them and narrowed when he spotted Judith, currently strapped into her carrier and being held by Ivy, whose job had been to keep her safe at the center of their former circle. “Except the baby. Ain’t no fun in this game with a baby.” 

“No!” Beth reacted instinctively, stepping forward from Maggie’s embrace with her arms outstretched. As soon as she felt the weight of the men’s eyes on her, her mind was in overdrive, considering and discarding possibilities and choosing the best option. “Please...” She instantly softened again, trembling once more, bringing up memories of her Daddy to put tears in her eyes. “Please, don’t take my baby. Let her stay with me, please? If I’m gonna die, I’d rather die with her. You said you weren’t animals, so please, don’t take her from her Mama...” 

She felt the cold gaze of the grey-haired man shift from her, to the baby, and back again. It was a risk, claiming Judith as her own, but then maybe it wasn’t. They both had the same blond hair and big eyes, and she practically _was_ the baby’s Mama. Had been since her own had died giving birth to her. 

“She’ll just hold y’ back, y’ know that, right?” 

The man was gruff when he spoke, but Beth stayed strong under his gaze. “I don’t care. She’s my _baby_.”

“Fine. You can deal with the damn handicap, see if I fuckin’ care.” He grunted, and nudged at the man next to him. “Besides, Kenny’ll be all for it. You know he likes how the little ones squeal.” 

Beth’s stomach churned as the man turned and began to prod at them with his rifle until they started walking again. She slowly met the eyes of Michonne, Sasha, and Maggie, seeing their relief and approval and worry all mingled together. There were questions in all their eyes, and she knew they were wondering if they should try something or not. Beth just subtly shook her head, confirming what she was sure they all felt. Now wasn’t the time to do anything but play along. But they weren’t gonna go down without a fight, and they all knew it.

Beth made sure to stay near Ivy, giving special attention to Judith to ease any suspicions in the minds of their captors, and keeping up her act of whimpering and trembling, and soon they had reached was seemed to be a clearing in the woods.

“Stop ‘em here, Randall?” One of the other men, taller and brawnier than the rest, turned to look over his shoulder. 

“This is the startin’ point,” said the grey-haired man- _Randall_ , Beth confirmed in her mind. 

“The starting point for _what_?” That was Maggie, her voice breaking with false fear. She was curious, though. They all were. They were tense, and burning with the need to know what was gonna happen next... what they might about to get put through.

Randall turned them with a toothy smile. “See, little fillies, what we’re gonna play here is a nice fun game...” 

*** 

“It’s a huntin’ game, really.” Compound- Daryl didn’t know his name, but he had to refer to him as something- still had his bow in hands, even though they’d been divested of all their weapons. As far as Daryl could tell, they’d been left in a pile outside the small hunting cabin they’d been hustled into. Every one of them had their arms bound behind their backs with braided rope, and they’d been shoved into the center of the room to sit down. Daryl had wanted to fight, but he knew to bide his time and wait for the moment. 

Of all the people he’d expected to protest, though, it hadn’t been Father Gabriel. The man had panicked and started blubbering and running for the door, only to be knocked out by a hard blow to the head with the butt of one of the hunter’s guns. He hadn’t moved since, and from what Daryl could see from here, it didn’t look good.

Daryl’s eyes were a steely blue as he looked up from under the fringe of his hair to stare at Compound, standing above them where they were on their knees. “We set your little fillies loose in the woods, give them a little bit of starting time, just to be fair. And then-” He smiled, showing his teeth. “-we hunt them down.” 

“You _hunt_ them?” Carl’s voice cracked out from behind Daryl, shocked and angry and a little afraid. 

“Best prey there is, humans. Clever, resilient, smart. Well, if you find the right ones, anyway. Some are dumber’n posts. We started out with walkers, y’know, but it ain’t much fun, huntin’ prey that just comes right at y’ when y’ make a single sound.” 

Rick was seated right beside Daryl, shoulder to shoulder, and out of the corner of his eye he saw the man’s head begin to slowly tilt. “We’ve met men like you, before. Luring people in, trapping them, _eating_ them.”

“Oh no, _eating_ them? Where’s the fun in that?” Compound laughed, like Rick had told some kind of great joke. “Told you, we ain’t animals. We just like the hunt. Like the feelin’ of stalking prey through the woods, knowing you caught your kill because you were smarter, cause you tried harder and fought longer.” He looked down at Daryl. “Bet you know what I mean, right, Archer?” He chuckled as Daryl glared up at him. “The anticipation makes it even better and oooh-” He licked his lips and grinned down at them. “-we’ve been anticipating this for a long time. Finding ya’ll, watchin’ you, putting some scare into you by burning you out of that house and chasing you right up to our hunting ground. It’s been a long time comin’, but considerin’ the plan we’ve got for ya’ll, it’ll be worth it.” 

His men finished tying up the last of them with Noah and Eugene, and moved around to the door as Compound crouched down on his haunches to look at them, right in the eyes. “See, we ain’t just gonna hunt your fillies. We’re gonna hunt them, and kill ‘em, and then let them turn. Then we’re gonna set you lot out there in the middle of your new little herd. Let you play nice with them, while we hunt you, too.” 

He rose up to his feet with a grin that Daryl wanted to just punch right off his face. “Now you don’t strain to much, tryin’ to get out. We want ya’ll fit as a fiddle when for your turn, and besides, we’re gonna have a guard here to watch the door while the rest of us go enjoy huntin’ down your fillies. Don’t get too impatient, though.” He moved to the door and began to close it, as he shot in one last remark, “It’ll be your turn, soon enough.”

The moment the door was closed Daryl began to move. Growling low in his throat, he struggled against the ropes that bound his wrists. He wasn’t thinking, at least not straight, anyway. Rage was boiling in him, rage and that image of Beth and the coldness in her eyes, the _emptiness_ he’d seen in her. The thought of her getting taken away from him again was enough to make him feel like he could tear every one of these assholes apart with his bare hands.

“ _Daryl_.” Rick’s voice was low and rough beside him, enough to make him slow, though he didn’t stop his struggles entirely. “I know you’re angry. We all are, but you gotta calm down.”

“ _Calm down_?” Daryl’s voice was so fierce it cracked, though he knew enough to keep it low. “Those are our _girls_ out there! They’ve got Beth, and Carol, and _Judith_ , and Maggie, and Sasha-” He broke off when he saw the look in Rick’s eyes, dark and steady, but nowhere near calm. The same heat he felt in his own body burned in the darkness of Rick’s eyes and Daryl knew the man was furious. He’d seen how Rick was, how fiercely he’d protect his family when it came down to it. He didn’t need to be going off at Rick like he was.

“I know. We _all_ know,” Rick said, looking around at the group of men all bound together on the floor of the hunting cabin. “But we need you. We’ve all dealt with bad people before, but men like this...”

“Hunters.” Daryl’s voice was low, as his hands finally stilled in their struggle.

“Yeah. Hunters. And if anyone knows how we can fight back against men like that, it’s you.” Rick leaned in, his voice low and compelling. “ _We_ need you.” 

For a moment Beth’s face flashed into his mind; the way she’d gone all limp, the way those men had talked about her- about all of them- like they were just animals to be hunted down. He growled, the sound low and rumbling in his chest. “ _They_ need me. Out in the woods, being hunted-” 

“But they’ve _got_ you.” Carl’s voice broke into the silence, catching them all off guard, and Daryl turned to look over his shoulder with a question on his face. “I mean, they’ve got Beth. You trained her, she’s almost as good as you are, isn’t she?” 

Suddenly, unexpectedly, hope welled up inside of him as remembered that hint of light and fire in her eyes before she disappeared. “She’s just as good as me.” His shoulders set, and a new, proud light entered his eyes. “And she’s angry. When that girl’s mad, she’s like a damn wildfire.” He blinked, remembering the poetry of Michonne’s whirling blade and the fierce light in Carol’s eyes when she got all fired up. “They _all_ are.” 

The situation was too tense to grin, but he could feel a hint of easing in the tension all around them. “And they’ve got Judith,” Carl said, but it wasn’t fear in his voice. No, he was thinking the same as they all were, how fierce they _all_ got in defense of lil’ asskicker. _Especially_ the women who had pretty much raised her like their own.

Daryl’s gaze turned to the door, the corners of his lips faintly turned up. He began to move again, twisting his wrists more carefully now, trying to work one side tighter to he could slip the other out of the figure-eight they’d bound him in. As he worked, he kept his eyes on the door as he breathed out with a hint of pride, “Those sonofabitches don’t even know what’s about to hit them.”

*** 

“So, little fillies, you catch all that?” The man with the compound bow stood sturdily in front of them, eyeing them almost like a lion might size up prey. “Ten minutes, we’ll give you, and then me an’ my boys’ll be after you and you best be givin’ us a good chase, or we won’t be so kind when we shoot to kill.” 

Beth bristled at the cavalier way they were talking to them, but she knew better than to start something right now. Not when they were about to get time to make a plan, if the man could be trusted, anyway. Beth didn’t think he could be in most regards, but she had a feeling when it came to the rules of this little game, they could count on him to be precise.

“Aren’t you gonna take our weapons?” Beth almost winced at Tara for asking, as if it might remind the men to take them away. Not that men like this were the type to forget a thing like that.

“Nah. We’re gonna let you keep ‘em. Ain’t like you’d de-claw a bear or de-fang a tiger before huntin’ it, right? What’s the fun in that?” He chuckled. “Plus, we ain’t too worried about you scared little does gettin’ too fierce.” 

His words made her want to rip his eyes out, but she didn’t let him see any of that. She hid the rage behind her big, innocent blue eyes, and let him see just what he wanted to see. Lambs for the slaughter, and him unaware that there were fierce wolves hiding under those sheep skins. 

He nodded to the five men that surrounded him and as Beth watched they began to melt back into the woods, their camouflage already helping them to disappear as they faded away. “Ten minutes, little fillies...” 

The moment they were out of sight, Beth felt a ripple of panic go through the group of women. She knew they were feeling what she was, that flight instinct, as deeply rooted in human beings as it was in any animal. But there was a strength in every one of the women here, just as she had in herself. Beth could see it in their eyes, and she knew that the men who planned on hunting them like pretty little deer had no idea what they’d gotten into.

Beth had expected Michonne to take the lead, or even Carol, or Sasha. She might have even expected Rosita to try, except she was currently hunched over crying, while Tara held her and tried to coax her into standing back up. What she hadn’t expected was for the three of them and Maggie to form a circle and look instantly at _her_. 

“Ten minutes,” Michonne said, her voice low and her body tense. “What’s the plan?” 

Still doing her best to keep her own panic at bay, Beth’s eyes went a little wide as she looked at Michonne, shock echoing through her bones. “You’re asking me?”

“Hey.” Carol cut in, her eyes warmer, her voice deceptively calm in the way Beth knew it got when the women was pushed to her limits and had to fight for her life. “Those are hunters out there. Which one of us did Daryl train, hm?” 

Before Beth could speak, Maggie cut in, pride briefly tinging her voice as she said, “Hunting, tracking, fighting, surviving in the woods. He taught you all of that, didn’t he? Enough that he felt comfortable letting you train Carl, too. And _you’re_ the one who figured out how we all needed to act for them back there.” 

At first, she instinctively wanted to protest, but that core of strength within her won out in the end. They were right. Her first choice to get anyone out of a situation like this would have been Daryl, but Daryl wasn’t here. She was. And she was almost as good as he was... He’d told her that, just the other day. 

Michonne must have seen the acceptance and determination steal across her face, because after a second, she asked again, “So. What’s the plan?” 

There wasn’t time to waste, but she gave herself a few seconds. Just a few, just enough to take in their surroundings, to let that voice (the inner one that sounded so much like Daryl’s) whisper in her mind, suggesting and discarding plans, ideas, possibilities, until a faint hint of a smile crossed her lips. “Then plan is, we show them they have _no_ idea who we’re dealing with.” She looked up, firmly meeting the eyes of Michonne, Sasha, Maggie, Carol, Ivy, Rosita, and Tara. “ _Together_.” 

*** 

The rope burned his hand as he continued to rub and twist his wrists, curling them just right to try and tighten one side and loosen the other in the process. He grunted at the sting of it, but he’d felt a hell of a lot worse before. Most of them had. And the pain lent a sharpness to his focus and his awareness. 

Even as he worked, Daryl’s ears strained beyond the little hunter’s cabin as he struggled to hear anything of what was happening outside. He dreaded hearing the first gunshots, knowing his mind would instantly see Beth, hurt, bleeding out without him to help her. 

With a grunt, Daryl bore his focus down even harder on the ropes, twisting, working as best he could. He wouldn’t think of her like that. He’d think of her strong, the way she was. He’d think of the fire in her eyes in that hospital room, the first time she’d challenged Rick out loud. He’d think of her as the warrior goddess she sometimes was in his mind, all crashing thunder and the howling of hounds, striding through some mythical forest. He’d think of her with a bow in her hands, the way she’d been a natural from the start. He’d remember every walker she’d killed, he’d remember how strong she had been in the face of that shoot out on the highway, how she’d kept so strong, long enough to heal their wounded.

 _That_ was the Beth out there in the woods. The Beth that, with all the other fierce women he considered family, were gonna bring that mighty wrath down upon the people who had dared to threaten their family, dared to separate them. He would think about her, because he _had_ to. Thinking about her in any other way would bring his mind too close to all the things left unsaid, the things he’d always intended to tell her but never had. The things he might never get a chance to say.

Once they were together again- and they _would_ be together again- he would say them. 

Just as he thought it, Daryl shifted his wrist just right, and the loop of rope popped off over his hand.

*** 

The first part of the plan had been to find defensible ground. Something they could keep at their back, something with height they could use. As they walked, Beth told them to take off anything too brightly colored. Thankfully these days most of them dressed in blacks, browns, grays, and greens, and a lot of things that had once been brightly colored were now worn and dirty. Still, a few over-shirts and hats were bundled away into bags as they moved slowly through the woods.

“Look where you walk,” Beth said, stepping carefully. “Don’t step on any leaves, or twigs, or fallen branches. It’ll make sounds they can follow. Stick to the dirt and grass, if you can.” She spotted a fallen branch on the ground, with the leaves still on it. “Here,” she broke some of the branches off and handed them to Maggie and Sasha. “You two take the back. Use these to brush away any tracks we leave. They’ll still be able to track us, but it might take ‘em longer, and we need all the time we can get.” 

She walked on carefully, slowing only to gently pat Judith’s head and silently thanking the baby for keeping so quiet where she was resting in her sling across Ivy’s chest. “The other big problem is camouflage,” she said after a moment, “The reason they blend in so well is cause they’ll all covered, pretty much every part of them except their faces.” 

“So?” Rosita’s voice was rougher than usual from crying and though Beth could see the pain etched in the woman’s face, she could also see a determination to not give up. 

Looking over Rosita’s long limbs and bare arms, Beth gave a faint, decisive nod, and then looked down, Daryl’s words echoing in his head as he taught her about how to blend into the forest when you needed to. “So we make our own camouflage.” She crouched down and scratched up a handful of dirt. “Hope you all don’t mind getting a little dirty.” 

With Sasha and Michonne keeping their eyes on the woods behind them, the rest of them worked to cover themselves in dirt, scrubbing it into their pale arms and legs and over their faces. With each other’s help, they got the back of their necks, and any other visible skin. Beth, the only one of them with light hair, had to work it through her blond tresses as well, and she had to fight back the faint smile they threatened to come to her lips when she remembered Daryl teasing her once, telling her it was like she was made to just stand out in the damn forest, all pale skin and light hair. 

_Daryl_. Thinking about him now made her heart clench as she rubbed dirt into her hair, tracing her fingers over her braid in the process. Some part of her was aware that no matter what they did today, they might not all make it. They were all going to die eventually, after all. Beth had known that for a long time, now. Since she’d seen her Mama walk out of that barn dead and had almost been brought down by the same hands that had raised her. She knew someday she would die. She knew it might even be sooner than she wanted it to be.

What hurt the most right now was thinking that she might die without getting to tell Daryl how she felt. It wasn’t that she thought she _needed_ to. The thing about their feelings for each other was that they didn’t really need to speak it, not exactly. They knew. They could read each other like books; they could see it in each other’s eyes, hear it in each other’s voices, feel it in the grazes of hands over skin. But she had always thought that someday, she would tell him how she felt out loud, that she would get to say the words she was pretty sure no one had ever told Daryl Dixon before in his life. 

In a way the thoughts only hardened her resolve, added a glint of determination to the steel in her eyes. She was going to get back to him. They were _all_ going to get back to the others. To their family. 

With Sasha and Maggie brushing up the marks they’d left in the dirt, they continued on through the forest. Beth was relying on her internal clock to count down their scant time, since no one had working watches anymore. As she walked she peered around them on the ground, pausing occasionally when she saw marks in the dirt. “They’ve been here, before. Probably got this whole area scouted out, see?” She pointed to the boot prints in the ground that the men hadn’t bothered to cover.

“Is that bad? Doesn’t that mean there’s no place to hide?” Ivy looked nervous as she clutched Judith a little closer.

But there was a faint smile on her lips as Beth replied, “No. I think it’s a good thing. They’ve been in here, scoping it out, making plans. That means they have things they _expect_ us to do, places they expect us to try and hide.”

Beside her, Michonne hummed softly to herself and chimed in, “We can use that to our advantage. Think about what they’d assume we’d do...” 

Carol came up alongside them, her voice low as she breathed out, “-and set a trap.” 

Deep down inside, Beth had that feeling she got sometimes, when she was out hunting with Daryl. Like she was in her element. She’d never really felt like that, until she’d met him. She’d felt _similar_ before, usually when she was singing, or in the kitchen with her Mama, but this was different. This wasn’t just being in your element, but being good at something, knowing you were doing something right. It didn’t make her vain or cocky, though. It just made her feel stronger. 

“There.” She spotted a rocky outcrop jutting out from what looked like a good-sized hill in the midst of the woods. They were nearing the mountains, which meant outcrops like this weren’t uncommon, springing up among the trees and provided shelter to animals... and to anyone else being hunted. 

It was just what they needed. 

Beth pointed to the small opening at the bottom, revealing a dark cave in the outcrop. “Now, if you were cocky hunters, chasing what you thought were scared and panicked women... Where might you think they’d hide, hm?”

*** 

Once he had one wrist free, it was easy to get the other out. In an instant Daryl was on his knees, turning to face Rick, who leaned forward to give him access to his wrist. Daryl reached down to his ankle, slipping his fingers under the leg of his pants and pulling a small pocket knife free. 

As he brought it to bear on Rick’s ropes, he grunted, “Good thing the assholes didn’t check harder.” 

He heard Carl from behind him breathe out in something like awe, “They took like, two knives from you, _and_ your bow, _and_ the gun you gave Hank to use!” 

Daryl flashed him a little smirk and teased lowly back, “Yeah well, if this keeps up, I’m gonna have to start hidin’ even more on me, when I can find ‘em.” Be prepared, that was always his motto. You could never have enough weapons, these days.

He looped the rope over the small sharp blade, but just as he began to saw through the sturdy rope, something broke the silence in the hunting cabin.

It was a gunshot, ringing out in the distance. Daryl’s stomach plummeted. “ _Fuck_.” He dug into the rope as frantically as he could, and though he’d never been a praying man before all this, he was praying now. Praying to Beth, to be strong. To make it through. To get back to him.

*** 

Two men came out of the woods side-by-side, heading right for the little cave in the rocky outcrop; both carrying rifles. From high above, crouched down behind a flat rock, Beth watched them follow the tracks in the dirt that led right to it. Only one of them bothered to look up, but it didn’t matter. She was pressed against the rock, the dirt she’d covered herself in helping her to blend right in as long as she didn’t move. As if she wasn’t even there. The other women were tucked away similarly, only visible if you knew what you were looking for, and the men below definitely didn’t.

She saw one of them- Randall- point with his gun at something in the cave, and then smile at his companion. Beth felt a smile of her own flicker across her lips. She knew just what they were seeing; a bright red cap sticking out of the cave and a distant lump of clothing inside, presumably left from where scared women had hurried to scuttle inside and hide. 

He gave a signaling whistle like a songbird, and from the woods around them came two more men; one with a shot-gun, and the one with the smaller compound bow. Three were still missing, she knew, thinking of them in terms of weapons. One rifle, one shotgun, and a compound bow. One would likely be back with their guys, guarding them, but that still left the leader, Compound, and one more. That was fine. Their plan had counted on the men splitting up. 

It wasn’t until Randall crouched down and aimed his rifle at the cave that Beth sprung into action. She slid up slowly over the slope of the rock and laying flat against the surface. With a deep breath, she aimed her crossbow and fired in one smooth motion, watching as he went down with her bolt through his eye. From either side of her, guns went off. Carol had their one rifle and she fired with determination, blowing a hole right in the shoulder of the man with the shotgun. From her left rose Maggie, taking careful aim with her pistol and firing to hit the man with the small bow in the knee. Except for Randall with her bolt through his eyes, the others didn’t go down. They scrambled backwards, trying to assemble themselves as the one uninjured hunter raised his rifle and sighted on Beth. 

From the tree beside him, a shot rang out from above. It was Rosita, firing from the perch where she’d concealed herself. Even if the hunters had looked up, they probably wouldn’t have seen her blending in with the branches. But they hadn’t bothered. With no steps leading up to it thanks to Maggie and Sasha’s work with the branches, the idiots hadn’t even thought to look. A voice similar to Daryl’s whispered in the back of her mind: _Dumbasses_. She almost smiled.

Beth heard the crackle of a noise trap in the woods behind her, but didn’t whirl to look. Their back was covered and sure enough, seconds later she heard the faint whoosh of Michonne’s blade flying through the air, and the thick wet sound of it finding home in what she could only assume was one of the hunter’s necks. 

Leaving Maggie and Carol to cover her from above, Beth cocked her bow and moved at a crouch, climbing down the side of the outcrop and creeping slowly around the edges. 

“Fucking bitches!” One of the two men still standing snarled at them, falling back against the tree to take the weight off his wounded knee as he lifted his small compound bow. From the other side of the outcrop came Sasha, gun raised, coldly firing one, two, three times until the man slumped to the base of the bullet-ridden tree. 

Beth sighted her bow on the man with the bullet through his shoulder, even as her mind continued to race as she tried to remember how many were left. Three down, four counting the man Michonne had gotten behind them. One still standing in front of her, that made five. Which left whoever they’d likely left guarding the men, and the leader, Compound, and-

Screams, from beside her. She whirled fast and saw an unfamiliar man reaching up, his hands curled around Ivy’s leg where she was hiding in a tree keeping Judith safe. The man’s hand was scrabbling, reaching for Judith’s carrier as he tried to pull her free. “C’mere, little piglet. Let me hear you squeal...” 

Inwardly she cursed at herself for forgetting to count the sniper in the woods, the one who had shot Abraham without any of them seeing. But that inward curse only lasted a half a second, because Beth was already moving. She pulled her bone-handled knife from it’s hilt and strode forward to crap the man’s arm. “Hey, asshole.” He turned to look at her, baring his stained teeth in a sick grin that faded as Beth hissed out, “Don’t you even _think_ about touching _my baby_.” 

She brought her weight to bear as she raised the knife to his neck and sliced, turning her head at the last moment as she felt hot blood spraying across her face. It was wet and too warm and the scent of copper was thick in her nose but she fought back every single twinge of panic within her. She gripped the roaring noise in her head fiercely, as if she could twine physical hands around it and shove it back into the recesses of her mind. _Not now. Not yet, damn it_. 

His body dropped to the ground and Beth gasped for breath, but she was still in control. She spared one glance for Ivy above her, still holding the baby as she clutched her own knife in her hand. Beth knew Ivy would have taken care of him herself, if she’d had to. Beth didn’t want her to have to risk it, though, not with Judith in her care. They all had blood on their hands, but if Beth had anything to say about it, Judith would avoid that as long as she possibly could. 

A shot rang out behind her, and Beth whirled to see the man with the blown-out shoulder holding his shaking weapon as Tara dropped to the ground, clutching her leg. One second and her bow was raised, two and she was striding fiercely towards him, but she didn’t get there in time. From above, Rosita leaped from the tree, landing on both feet in front of the man. Beth didn’t think she’d ever seen such a fierce light in the woman’s eyes and she knew without a doubt that it was the loss of Abraham fueling that fire. She couldn’t even bring herself to imagine what she’d do, who she’d become, if anyone ever took Daryl from her.

“You fucking _cabrón_!” Rosita fell on the man with a fury, taking her knife and stabbing him right through the heart. She didn’t stop, her arms kept lifting again and again and again, jamming the blade into his chest with thick wet noises as blood bubbled up over her hands. 

None of them dared get too close. They stood there, exhausted and yet fired by adrenaline, covered in dirt and blood and clutching their weapons close, frozen, but every one of them aching with an echo of Rosita’s pain. Every single one of them had lost someone, every single one of them knew what it was like, to want revenge. In that moment they were all with her, connected, _understanding_.

In the end it was Beth who crossed the distance between them and came up beside the frantic, furious, broken woman. “Rosita.” She crouched down beside her but didn’t reach for the woman. If anyone knew what it was like to not want to be touched, it was Beth. “He’s dead. You killed him. That bastard will never hurt anyone again, okay?” Reassurances weren’t going to do anything for Rosita right now, but Beth knew what might bring the woman back to her. “We’re not done, Rosita. The asshole in charge, he’s still out there. We _need_ you.” 

She saw the shudder go through the woman. But when Rosita shifted to thrust her blade in once more, this time through the man’s skull, Beth knew she was back with them. She waited long enough to help Rosita to her feet, and then turned to survey the group.

All around her, the other women made sure to dispatch the bodies of the hunters in similar fashion before taking their weapons and passing them out around to share. Beth grabbed the small compound bow herself, eyeing it with interest before slinging it over her back. Michonne came back from behind the outcrop, stopping to help Ivy climb down from the tree with Judith. Weary but wary, all of them covered in dirt and blood, they stood in a loose group and looked back in the direction they’d come. 

“Come on,” Beth said, kicking roughly one of the hunter’s dead bodies as she strode forward, Daryl’s twang on her lips as she drawled, “That sonofabitch is gonna pay.” 

*** 

As each gunshot rang out, Daryl’s brain tried to catalog the shots: rifle, shotgun, pistol, pistol, shotgun. He tried but failed to guess whose weapons they were, whether it was their girls firing, or the hunters shooting them dead like cattle. 

He couldn’t think of them like that, or he’d lose hope.

With one more grunt he sliced through the rope binding Rick’s hands and freed him. Together they shifted instinctively, Rick freeing Carl while Daryl worked on Tyreese’s bindings. With them loose they had even more hands to help, and within minutes every single one of the men of their group had been freed. It was Glenn who moved at a slow crouch across the floor, reaching to gently check on Father Gabriel where he lay face down on the floor. 

“He’s got a pulse, but barely. His head is all...” Glenn trailed off, shaking his head, but even from here Daryl could tell it didn’t look good. The gun had cracked the back of his skull, and he didn’t think even Beth had the skills to fix that.

 _Beth_. His heart clenched again, and he turned to look at the door as he rose slowly to his feet, clutching the blade in his hand.

“Gonna need to take our watcher out,” Rick murmured, coming up beside him, the two of them instantly forming a team as they had so many times before. It wasn’t one of quiet communication like he and Beth, but Rick was his brother. He could read the man almost just as well, and they’d done this so many times before that it was almost second nature.

“I’ll break down the door,” Daryl said slowly, “You grab the man when he tries to rush us. Then the rest of us run for the weapons.” No one had to explain what came next. Once they got their weapons, these mother fuckers were going _down_. 

“Carl,” Rick looked at his son as he moved to press himself against the wall by the door, readying himself for the hunter outside. Daryl saw the boy’s face fall for just a second, perhaps assuming his father was going to insist he stay inside, but instead Rick went on, “You stay close to me, or to Daryl, you hear me? And if you see a chance, you _get Judith_. You protect your little sister. You got me?”

With Carl’s nod, they fell into place. Daryl moved to the door with Rick beside him, Carl shifting back to stay near them but not too close. Tyreese, Noah, Glenn, Eugene, and Hank all moved out of view of the door as well. With gunshots ringing in the distance, they sprung into action. Daryl kicked down the flimsy cabin door and then stepped back, right as the hunter came storming through with his gun raised. The man sighted quickly on Daryl, who was backing up with his hands raised in the air. The hunter was so focused on coming after him that he didn’t see Rick until the man was behind him, arms around his neck and choking off his air. 

Only when the man dropped to the ground did Daryl come back in, driving his small blade into the man’s head to stop him from turning. He rose to his feet slowly, wiping the blood from the blade on the leg of his pants as he looked to the door.

The gunfire had stopped. He wasn’t sure if that was a good thing, or a bad thing. But he had to find out.

Daryl edged into the doorway, only signaling to the others when he was sure the way was clear. Their weapons were just a short distance away, piled up by an old campfire. But before they could get halfway there, movement in the woods ahead caught his attention. Figures burst from the tree-line, coming right towards them. His hand was up, clutching his knife in the seconds it took to recognize them, all covered in dirt and grime and blood.

He saw them all; Carol, Sasha, Maggie, Ivy and Judith, Rosita with Tara’s arm around her shoulder, both of them limping together... and there she was, right in the front next to Michonne: _Beth_. Her hair was dirtied and blood was drying across one half of her face and neck, but he knew her like he knew his own beating heart. Their eyes met, and he heard her cry out fiercely, “ _Daryl_!” 

There was only time to take one staggering step towards her, and then a dark shape burst out from the woods to the left. An arrow flew through the air, forcing him to jump back just in time, and when he looked up, Compound had her. He had one arm around Beth’s waist, pinning her tightly to his chest. His bow was on the ground, a pistol was pressed to her temple, and there was a grin on his lips as he grunted out, “Now now, Archer. I’d drop that blade _and_ take a few steps away from those weapons. Unless you want me to shoot your pretty little filly, here?” 

Daryl’s stomach plummeted right along with the slow drop of his knife to the ground.

*** 

It was her own damn fault. She should have kept quiet, shouldn’t have cried out to him, but she couldn’t help it. Seeing Daryl standing there when she burst out of the trees with their family around her had been too much. The relief in his eyes had surged inside of her and his name had just burst out of her, as if he’d summoned it with his very presence.

The next thing she knew a heavy weight was barreling into her, pulling her away from the other women as arms wrapped around her and held her tight and the cold steel of a gun pressed to her temple. She knew who it was. The only one left. And he was smart, to try and take a hostage. He was outnumbered, all his men dead, and this was the only way he might get away safe.

Except Beth knew, deep in her gut, that he’d chosen the wrong girl to be his shield, his protection. (“ _You’re not a fighter.” “I am strong._”) Cause this time, even with the panic roaring in her mind, Beth didn’t give into it. Instead, she focused on the heat, boiling up inside of her. She drew on the protectiveness she felt for Judith, for her whole family and let it kindle the flames within her. She wrapped herself up in fierce, hot anger at the idea that anyone would ever dare to threaten them. She filled herself to the brim with the memories of Abraham falling to the ground, of Tara crying out in pain, of Rosita launching herself onto the hunter and screaming out her rage.

And she thought of Daryl. Beth’s eyes held his, the heat of anger simmering in her gaze. It was meeting his eyes that tempered it, that turned fire into steel, like the sharp blade still clutched in Michonne’s hand. Beth was steel, and she would sing like a sword slicing through air. 

As the hunter behind her tried to slowly back away, tried to talk himself to safety with her as his protection, Beth and Daryl communicated silently. With a faint movement, she gently brushed her fingers towards the bone-handled knife on her belt and raised an eyebrow. As Daryl was forced to drop his own small blade, his eyes held hers and he gave an almost imperceptible nod. They didn’t need to communicate. They’d practiced this before, first in the woods when it was just the two of them and then later, when he’d begun training her again. One of the first things she’d asked him to teach her was how to fight back when a stronger person had a hold of her. This time, she was ready.

Right when her fingers curled around the handle of her blade, Daryl took one step forward. Not enough to risk her life, but enough to draw the focus of the man behind her. That was all it took. In one swift motion, she drew the blade from it’s sheath and dropped it to the ground. With her left foot she kicked out, sending it spinning from across the dirt towards Daryl. At the same time, she kicked back and up with her right foot, slamming it into the man’s groin. Without hesitation she dropped, leaning forward and down, getting her head away from the barrel of the gun even as the man began to groan and bend over in pain. 

Beth stumbled and caught herself, scurrying out of the way and spinning around just in time to watch Daryl scoop up her blade in one swift motion, stride forward, and slam it right into the hunter’s head.

The man only had time for one shocked look, one bubble of blood in the place of words, and then he fell to the ground as Daryl pulled the knife from his skull with a muttered, “ _Asshole._ ” 

Just like that, it was over. The adrenaline began to ease from her body, but without it there to hold them up, her walls began to crumble. Beth had kept herself strong for so long, had stayed so brave, but she wasn’t sure how long she could hold it anymore. Her hands shook and blood was still hot on her skin, and something about the sight of that body only made her slipshod mental walls begin to weaken. 

She turned with a little muffled cry, body trembling, fighting to hold the panic at bay... and just when she was about to break, she felt arms slide around her waist.

*** 

He saw the moment it became too much. The moment the warrior goddess, sated on blood, began to draw back, leaving a fragile- but no less brave or awe-inspiring- girl in her wake. This time, he wasn’t gonna let her fall to her knees without him there to catch her. ‘

In two steps Daryl was behind her, arms wrapped around her waist and drawing her back to his chest. He held her in an echo of how she’d held him all those months ago, pressing his face against her back as she trembled in his arms, as he heard her soft, pained cries.

“Breathe,” he murmured lowly, only dimly aware that around them, the others were embracing as well. Sasha ran into Tyreese’s arms, Rick and Carl hurried to Judith, safe in Ivy’s arms, Michonne at her side. Rosita fell to the ground with Tara at her side, Eugene coming around from behind the men to go to them both as Noah ran as well to meet Ivy. 

All Daryl really saw, though, was Beth. His lips pressed to her back, ignoring the dirt there as he continued to whisper, “Breathe for me, there you go. In and out. You did so good, Beth, so damn good. You were so strong. It’s okay, you can let it out now.. I’ve got you.”

*** 

This time she didn’t protest, didn’t try and argue that she was being weak, because finally she knew she wasn’t. What she’d done out there in the forest was far from weak, and neither was being affected by it now. Besides, it was almost impossible to feel weak when he was holding her like this.

Beth dragged in breathes until the rhythm of her breathing began to match Daryl’s own. Only then did she turn in his arms to face him, sliding her hands around his waist and looking up into his eyes. Dimly she was aware of movement behind him; Michonne unexpectedly finding herself wrapped up in Rick’s arms while Carl held Judith, Maggie and Glenn crying as they embraced each other, Hank giving a bear hug to both Noah and Ivy at the same time, Tyreese bending down to scoop Carol up into an embrace. 

Her eyes fixed on Daryl, though, and he was all she really saw. “I thought-” She broke off and swallowed hard. “I thought that might be it, that we might not find a way back to each other...”

Daryl shook his head down at her. “You should know by now, we always find a way back to each other.”

To her surprise, Beth gave a low little laugh. His hand came up to brush a tear from her eye, smearing blood with it as she tilted her cheek against his hand. “I know. That was what had me fighting even harder. That, and... And I couldn’t bear the thought of losing you, before I had a chance to tell you how I felt.” This was it, this was what she’d fought for. To get back to him, to make sure he knew everything that had been building inside of her for so long. Beth looked up at him and knew it was already in her eyes, knew every bit of what she felt for him was shining within them as she parted her lips and breathed out, “Daryl, I...”

But then his finger pressed to her lips and silenced her. “Shhh...”

*** 

He’d known what she was going to say before she even opened her mouth and began to try. Daryl could read her now better than he could read himself, it felt, but it was easy when the things he saw in her eyes mirrored everything he was feeling inside of himself.

There had been a time when that little spark of hope she had fired within him had been only that; a spark. A little flickering candle-light, guttering in any sharp breeze, almost going out when losing her was like cutting off the oxygen that fed it.

Then she’d come back to him, and the spark had turned to flame, kindling within him, warming every inch of his body until he was so full of it he thought he might burst every time he even looked at her, let alone touched her. Never in his life had Daryl felt anything like the way he felt when he was with her, and he knew without a doubt that he never wanted to go without that feeling again.

It wasn’t just that she gave him hope. It wasn’t even just that she made him believe there was good in the world. She made him believe _he_ was good. Even more than that, she made him happy. She made him want to wake up each morning, want to _live_ , just to be with her and their family. Looking at him made him want to protect her, want to fight beside her, want to give her the whole world all wrapped up in a bow, if that was what she wanted. She made life worth living. She was _everything_ to him,

He had known for awhile now, what that was. A word- a feeling- that had once been forbidden. A word he had buried in the back of his mind under the ashes of his childhood home, under the memories of his father’s raised hand and his mother’s raised bottle and his brother’s raised voice. He’d thought he’d hidden it away so well that no one could find it. 

Until Beth did.

Until she reached in and rummaged through the ash and dirt, and gently pulled it free. Until she dusted it off and polished it up, warmed it with her touch and set it hanging in his heart again. 

And he knew, now, what it meant. That it was real.

He looked down at her now, seeing past the blood and dirt on her face to the woman beneath, the woman he would give his life for, though he hoped he never had to. Daryl lifted his finger from her lips and cupped her face, leaning in so close that his nose brushes hers and their foreheads rested together, because the words he whispered were for her and her alone.

“ _I love you._ ”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I almost feel cruel, ending it where I did, but after 21 pages, it felt right. I think this entire chapter is one of my favorites of this whole story, since it feels like it's all been building up towards this big climax. What comes after this is, mostly, the falling action and resolution, etc, but rest assured, the next chapter will be an even bigger reward for all your patience with my actions scenes. I hope you loved it as much as I did. I worked really hard and did SO much research for all of this, and I really just wanted to allow the women a chance to shine and be amazing, with Beth taking the lead. And I am just SO HAPPY with the last section, AHHH, the feels, right?
> 
> If you are interested, I recently posted my [She's Breathing Fanmix](http://8tracks.com/burnedupasun/she-s-breathing) on 8tracks (you can also reblog it on tumblr [here](http://burningupasun.tumblr.com/post/106537669529/shes-breathing-a-bethyl-fanmix-for-my-post-coda)); it's the songs that make me think of them, and the music I listen to when I write them. Also, the lovely Schwoozie made me a gif-set for this fanfic, which you can check out [right here](http://bethgreenesgirlgang.tumblr.com/post/106565439060/shes-breathing-by-burningupasun-am-i-bad), ahh!
> 
> Comments are love, but I appreciate you all just being here, reading my fic every day! <3


	25. Three Hundred Words

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When the terror and adrenaline has faded, the group takes a moment to mourn, and Beth finds the peaceful time she needs to tell Daryl how she feels.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one is a nice, slow cool down from the previous chapter, but it's all full of Bethyl moments, so I hope you'll love it. (Especially the second half.)
> 
> **MILD WARNINGS** : Reference to minor character deaths.

They buried their dead, as they always did. First just Abraham, after Tara and Maggie had managed to gently guide Rosita away from where she was tugging uselessly at the man’s shirt, as if she could pull him back to life. It had broken Beth’s heart all over again to see that strong woman like that, so heartbroken and lost. She hadn’t even been sure if Rosita loved Abraham or not; the pair of them always seemed to be so open about some aspects of their relationship, and so private about others. Looking at Rosita now, Beth had no doubt that the woman had cared for him, loved him even. Her face was that of a woman who had lost a part of who she’d become.

Seeing Rosita like that only made Beth want to cling more to Daryl, who for his part apparently felt the same way, judging by the fact that he hadn’t left her side since they’d been reunited. (Since he’d whispered those words just for her and sent her heart racing, like it just wanted to fly right out of her chest and into the blue sky above.) He stayed beside her as she checked Abraham’s body and confirmed he was dead, and it was Daryl’s hand that smoothed down her back when she began to tremble at the sound of Rosita’s pained cries. It was Daryl who took his own knife and carefully, gently, eased it into the man’s skull to ensure he didn’t turn, even as Beth looked away and fought back tears.

Daryl also came with her to check on Father Gabriel, who was only just clinging to life. Beth knew what he needed. She knew what most of them probably needed, when it came to the end, but especially the priest. Absolution, and peace. Beth had leaned down and whispered into the dying man’s ear: “ _May the lord protect you and lead you to eternal life..._ ” This time, she was the one to drive the blade in deep, to stop the man from resurrecting.

Outside, Rick and Tyreese and Glenn dug a grave for the bodies as Daryl and Beth helped carry the Father out and lay him beside Abraham. It was only when she raised her hand to wipe her face that Beth realized she was still covered in dirt and blood. The sight of it red and smeared across her hand made her remember the wet heat of it spraying across her face and the thick coppery scent in her nose. When she began to tremble, Daryl was right there as always. He carefully poured some of his bottle of water onto a rag and began to wash away at her face, cleaning away the blood as she stood there with her eyes shut. Letting him take care of her. 

Her hand reached out to find his free hand and her fingers curled around his wrist to anchor herself, the thrum of his pulse beneath the pads of her fingers echoing the rhythm of her own heart until her breaths evened out to match it. There was so much she wanted to say to him, but she knew it wasn’t the right time. At least Beth knew that he’d seen it all in her eyes, when he’d cupped her face and whispered that he loved her. She hadn’t had a chance to say it back (she could have, but it meant more to her than a rushed whisper when they were about to get interrupted), but she knew he didn’t need her to just then. He’d just needed to look into her eyes and see that same emotion shining back at him.

Besides, that moment had been _his_. Beth had never thought that he’d be the one to put that into words first, and yet he had. Not only had the words been meaningful all on their own, but it had meant so much more because Daryl had been the one to whisper them first, sending a thrill through her, warming her like nothing had ever been able to on that level ever before. Beth would have been content to never hear him say it, to just spend her life seeing it in his eyes. But he’d said it, and it had been more than she ever could have imagined.

Her heart had sang the words back to him and she knew he’d heard it, even if she hadn’t had time to say it out loud before the group was gathering around them and breaking up the moment. The little squeeze he had given to her hand though had been their reassurance that he understood there would be time, later. 

Now as he did his best to clean the blood from her face, Beth opened her eyes and gave him a soft, sad smile. She wished she could have this moment without the sadness, but there days, it all seemed to so frequently go hand in hand; the good and the bad. Sometimes the sadness seemed unavoidable, and yet Beth couldn’t help but think that the sad moments only made the good ones stand out more. Not that she would say that now, when the sadness was so fresh, when Rosita was standing broken behind her.

Daryl’s thumb brushed her cheek and Beth sighed as she held his gaze for a long moment, reading the love and reassurance she could see in his eyes that she knew was matched in her own. It was another moment of wishing she could wrap themselves up in a bubble, seal them off from the rest of the world, even just for a little while. But of course, they couldn’t.

“Alright.” Rick’s voice broke the moment, followed by the clang of one of the shovels they’d found behind the cabin, and Beth turned to see him climbing out of the hole he and Tyreese and Glenn had helped dig. It took just a few moments for them to move the bodies into the graves. They had nothing to wrap them in, but at least they would be buried in the way they deserved. They only stopped long enough for Rick to gently pull the dog tags off Abraham’s neck and hand them silently to Rosita. 

When it was done and the dirt covered their grave in a small mound, the group stood around in a loose circle, holding hands or each other, finding reassurance and comfort in the nearness of their family. The truth was, moments like these were for them more than anything else. For the survivors, rather than the lost. Though their dead deserved the memorial, their living needed it to survive, needed those moments of remembrance and humanity.

Beth, standing with Daryl’s arm around her back, wondered if anyone was going to speak, if perhaps Rick was going to say words. Instead the man looked up at her, holding her gaze for a moment before he asked simply, “Beth?” 

She understood. 

Daryl’s hand shifted, his fingers lacing through hers just as they had months ago, standing in front of that gravestone marked _Beloved Father_. With memories of her Daddy and the others they’d lost heavy in her mind, Beth sang in a soft, clear voice: _“Morning Star lights the way; restless dream all done; shadows gone, break of day, life has just begun. Every tear wiped away, pain and sickness gone; wide awake there with Him! Peace goes on and on! Going home, going home, I'll be going home. See the Light! See the Sun! I'm just going home...”_

Her voice trailed into silence and for a few moments they just stood there, remembering men they had known for what wasn’t a very long period of time in the great scheme of it all, but men who were still important, who still mattered, who had still had their lives cut short. Men who had deserved more.

Eventually they all drew away from the grave to give Rosita a little privacy. Beth noticed that Maggie stayed by her side, and the way Rosita clung to her arm implied the woman didn’t want her to leave, but Tara drew away after a moment, limping towards her. 

“C’mere,” Beth said instantly, pulled from her grief by the sight of Tara injured. In the rush, she’d almost forgotten that the woman had been injured during their big fight. In a second she had guided the woman into sitting and then she was on her knees, helping to roll up her pant leg to get a look of her wound. 

“Do you think I’ll be able to keep the leg, Doctor?” Tara’s weak joke brought Beth’s daddy to her mind in a sharp and painful flash, but she bit back a sharp reply. Tara wouldn’t really have known. She couldn’t have known. Besides, with the weight of Daryl’s hand on her shoulder for a moment it was easier to dismiss. 

“You should be okay. Looks like we’re mostly holding to our streak when it comes to graze wounds.” For a second, her gaze flickered to the mound of dirt in front of her, and she faltered, thinking they hadn’t really been so lucky today. Daryl’s squeeze to her shoulder and the sight of the bleeding wound in front of her brought her back down after a few seconds, though, and she pushed those thoughts away to focus on Tara.

As she worked to clean the wound with a bottle of water that Daryl handed her, Beth saw Rick crouch down on his haunches in front of her. “How did this happen? How did _all_ of it happen?” 

Beth darted a gaze to Michonne, but the woman only raised an eyebrow, apparently judging that Beth was perfectly fit to tell the story herself. Though she still felt odd, taking on the leadership role even in a minor way, Beth wasn’t going to be silly and protest. In a low but sure voice as she worked to clean and wrap Tara’s wound, Beth did her best to tell the story of what had happened in the woods. She kept it short, but gave the details she knew the others would want; about how they’d hid in the woods and laid a trap, playing on what the hunters would have expected them to do. As she spoke more of the men had gathered around, curious to hear. Some of the women joined in, too, telling Rick how they’d pretended to be scared, how Beth had shown them how to rub dirt into their skin and hair to help them hide. For a moment all their talk made her duck her head, and she wondered if this was how Daryl had felt, when the people at the prison had treated him like a hero; this odd mix of pride and yet embarrassment, all mixed together. 

“So _that’s_ why you’re all dirty!” Carl exclaimed, in a tone that made it clear he’d been wondering but hadn’t wanted to ask.

For the first time, Beth found herself faintly smiling, and as she tucked the last bit of the makeshift bandage in against Tara’s leg, she joked carefully back, “What did you think, we went rolling around in it for fun, out there?” 

She rose to her feet and stretched, working out kinks in her muscles before she shrugged. “We would have stood out, otherwise.” Her gaze flicked to Daryl, and a faint smile tugged at her lips. “ _Someone_ told me once that I’m like a beacon in the woods, with my hair and skin. Luckily, he also taught me how to remedy it.” 

“You did real good, Beth.” Rick rose to his feet slowly and tipped his head to her. “I mean it, honestly. You _all_ were amazing, but it was real smart thinking, acting like you did and setting a trap like that.”

Beth was really never sure what to do with compliments. On the one hand, it pleased her to be complimented for something she felt good at, something other than just taking care of Judith. But beyond the polite thanks that her Mama and Daddy had raised her to give, she was never quite sure what to do. All she had done out there was what she’d had to do, what any of them would have tried to do in the face of a life struggle. In the end she was almost like Daryl again as she hunched her shoulders and gave a quiet thanks, though she did smile a little as she added, “I had a good teacher.” 

She didn’t even have to look at Daryl to sense the smile on his lips. Instead, she reached behind her as she added, “We made sure to grab all their weapons and ammo, so we should be better equipped now. Got all the rifles, shotguns, a couple of them had knives too. And...” She pulled the small compound bow off her back and held it out for just a moment, before she said, “I was thinking this might be good for Carl, actually.”

Beth knew the idea was a good one the moment she saw Carl light up and instantly reach for it, before he stopped to look at his Dad. Trying to help, Beth went on, “It’d be easier for him to draw than a crossbow, and I _think_ it’s about the right size... And the guy had a nice quiver of arrows, too.” She looked at Daryl and raised an eyebrow, silently asking for his opinion.

“S’good size for the kid,” Daryl said in his normal rough voice, though his eyes shown a bit teasingly at the word ‘kid’. “Wouldn’t have tried him on a crossbow, but he could learn to use this.” 

Carl looked ridiculously pleased at the words, and Beth knew all that was holding him back was waiting for his Dad. Sure enough, as soon as Rick gave him a nod, Carl went lunging for it like it was the best present he’d gotten in ages. Which, considering the world they lived in, it probably was. That was a big part of why she had wanted to give it to Carl. He deserved presents, even ones that came in the form of new weapons. Maybe even especially those, because Beth knew from experience how much confidence with a weapon could help you to feel stronger and more capable. 

They stayed in the clearing for a little while longer; letting Rosita mourn, letting the others clean up as best they could, and dividing up the new weapons. Beth took Judith for a bit, cooing and complimenting the baby for being so good in the woods, all the while watching Daryl at her side as he showed Carl how to use the bow. His voice was gruff, but she knew him well enough to know it wasn’t in a bad way. He liked Carl, and he liked the kid’s enthusiasm over things like this, just as much as Beth did. There was something about watching him with Carl that was undeniably pleasing to Beth; she could see how much he cared, how good he was with the boy even though she had a feeling that if he were pressed, he’d say he had no idea what to do with kids at all. 

Eventually, they all knew they had to move on. It was Daryl’s suggestion that the men probably had another cabin nearby stocked with food (given that they’d clearly not been starving but the cabin they’d held them in was empty) that gave them a destination, at least for the afternoon. Side by side they’d made their way through the woods, Beth and Daryl in the lead and following what they could see of the hunter’s tracks. If anyone noticed that they stood far closer than usual, no one cared to comment. Considering what they’d gone through, most of them were staying close to the people they loved right now; Sasha, Tyreese, and Carol were all walking together, Glenn and Maggie were holding hands, Michonne was walking besides Carl and Rick, who was carrying Judith for once, Hank and Ivy and Noah were all in a trio, and Eugene was even supporting both Rosita and Tara.

Every once in awhile as they’d walk, the back of Beth’s hand would purposefully brush Daryl’s, and the contact would make her sigh as a little of the tension within her eased. “Y’did good back there,” Daryl said roughly, glancing over at her through his dark fringe of hair. His simple words meant so much more to her than Rick’s had, no matter how much the compliment from their leader had felt good, too. “Played them real smart.”

“They weren’t so bright,” Beth said with a wry smile. “You’d have never fallen for half of what they did. Women like us, all carrying guns, all strong, falling to pieces and crying for them not to hurt us?” She snorted. “They barely looked up, either. We brushed away all our tracks around the trees, but none of them looked up even once.”

“They underestimated you,” Daryl said lowly, his voice rough despite the faint smile on his lips. “I never would’ve, but then again, I know you. I know _all_ of ya’ll. Ain’t no way I’ll ever underestimate another woman again.” 

To her surprise Beth felt faint laughter bubbling up inside of her, and she leaned into him again for a moment, only to feel it fade as she caught sight of the smear of blood on her hand. “One of them went for Judith,” she said lowly, feeling anger coil low in her belly even just remembering it. “The sniper, the one who got Abraham I think. I had Ivy up in a tree with her, but that _bastard_ tried to go for anyway, saying he wanted to hear her squeal.” Beth shivered, and her voice went all cold, the words falling like ice from her lips: “I slit his throat.” 

As soon as she said it, she shuddered. Sometimes she wondered who she was now. Because there was the person she was in moments like that, the person who felt somehow both like ice and fire all at the same time, the person who didn’t hesitate, who just _acted_ , who took a life without hesitating. Then there was the person she was after, the one who shuddered just at the thought of the blood that had sprayed across her face, and at the knowledge that there was more blood to her name. The one who felt as if she racked up some sort of debt with each living person she killed. 

“You had to.” Daryl said roughly. He didn’t try to tell her that she shouldn’t be upset, he knew better than that. Daryl wasn’t the kind of person to make excuses or to show pity. He just spoke simply, “It was him, or Judith, and you knew that. Maybe it doesn’t make it right, but it wasn’t wrong, either.” 

His words always had a rightness to them that Beth had come to admire. Like he thought so simply, sometimes, not necessarily in the black and white of ‘right or wrong’, but in the gray areas that not everyone else was so comfortable living in. She appreciated it though, just as she appreciated his honesty and the way it washed over her like a fresh, cool balm to sooth her anxious thoughts. 

***

It only took them an hour or so to follow the tracks to the second cabin that the hunters had clearly been using as a base. Daryl’s guess that they’d want it close to their hunting ground had been a good one. Better yet, it was somewhat stocked. Nowhere close to what they’d had back at the house that had been burned down, but there was canned food and some medical supplies that would come in useful, as well as what Daryl informed them all was dried venison jerky, presumably left over from a less macabre hunt.

Most of them didn’t like the idea of staying inside a cabin that had housed the men who had tried to kill them, but they needed shelter for the night. They needed time to ease the wounds in their hearts, just as Tara needed time to rest her leg, and those injured in the fire still needed time as well. 

So they settled for the night, although Beth wasn’t surprised that a lot of them wanted to sleep outside the confines of the cabin, arranging blankets and sleeping bags from inside the cabin around a low banked fire they used to cook dinner. Beth had no desire to sleep inside either, though granted these days she always preferred to sleep outside. Everything else tended to feel too much like a trap. Like walls just closing in on her more and more each second.

She and Daryl stuck like burrs to each other’s sides as they helped set up camp, helped put up traps to warn the group if any walkers got near. Both of them reckoned the Hunters had probably kept the area pretty clear of walkers, but they could always wander in, especially since the gunfire earlier had been pretty loud. The memory of that afternoon was what kept them together, as if being separated had affected the pull between them, changed their gravity, created an urge within them to orbit as close as possible to one another... as if that might stop them from ever being separated again.

When Dryl took first watch, no one seemed surprised when Beth went with him, grabbing a spare blanket and curling up beside him where he was propped against the tree. They sat in content silence with each other, knee to knee, thigh to thigh, arm to arm, with Beth’s cheek resting on Daryl’s shoulder as they split their focus between both the group and the cabin, and the woods beyond. It was a position they had taken so many times before; first when it was only them, then later when they were reunited and on the road with their family again. In some ways it was natural to them. Just being together was natural now, like breathing air.

It took a long time for the group to quiet down and begin to rest, but eventually things grew more silent. With the dawning quiet, Beth felt that sense of peace inside of her, that one that always came late at night when everyone had fallen asleep and peace reigned. With a sigh, she tipped her head back and looked up at the sky. 

“Stars are beautiful tonight,” she murmured softly, sensing Daryl tip his head back to look as well. “Makes me remember all those nights back when it was just the two of us, and we used to look up at the stars together.” She chuckled. “Or I looked, anyway, and I made you look too.”

Daryl chuckled softly. “Nah. I mean, you were pushy, but I looked cause I wanted to.” He turned to study the side of her face, and Beth smiled at the weight of his gaze on her. As he added softly, “An’ cause you always looked so peaceful, watchin’ ‘em.” 

“Yeah. They are peaceful.” She hummed softly to herself as her mind reached back, filling with memories of their crackling fire, the smell of snake or squirrel or whatever he’d caught for them that night still hanging in the air, both of them sitting side-by-side just like this, except in many ways, so much further apart than they were now.

“I liked it, y’know... When you used to tell me stories, ‘bout the stars.” Daryl’s voice was low in a way that seemed to resonate within her, especially when he reached out and rested his hand on her knee. 

It was easy to remember a night like that, though there had been many, there were several that stuck out. “Like Lyra and Aquila, and the stars that were forbidden lovers who got separated in the sky?” She turned to look at him, remembering the night she’d told him that story. They’d been laying side-by-side on the ground, her pointing up at the sky, him just watching her as she told him about the star-crossed lovers. It had been one of the nights she’d felt the urge to talk to him, to make a gesture and draw him out of his shell even more than she had when they’d been drunk on moonshine together.

Daryl hesitated a moment, and then admitted, “Thought about that one, y’know. When we were separated. Sometimes it felt like I was being punished. Like I’d found something good, but it was too good for a man like me, and losin’ you was my punishment, just like them stars.” 

Her hand reached out to rest over his where it had settled on her knee. “Neither of us will ever be too good or bad for the other.” 

“Yeah.” He shifted beside her, and turned his hand palm-up, so her fingers could trace shapes over the lines of his worn skin. “Know that now, anyway. But for awhile...” 

Beth just nodded. She understood. There had been a time when it had felt almost like punishment to her, too. Or... “I thought it was fate, at first. I thought that was just my destiny. To have everything I loved taken away from me, over and over again. Mama, Shawn, the farm, Daddy, Maggie, Judith, our family, you... It felt like that was all my life had ever been. Losing and losing and losing. Seemed right, almost, to think it was just what was meant to be.”

Beside her he opened his mouth to speak, but she shook her head to stop him. “But then I realized... That was _bullshit_.” The curse word had him faintly chuckling as he always did when she swore, and there was a faint smile on Beth’s lips as she brushed her fingers in circles across his palm. “I knew you would have told me it was, anyway. You know... I know that I helped you see the good in the world again, to have hope, but I don’t think you realize that you did the same for me, in a way.” 

Finally she looked over at him, studying the lines of his face in the faint light from the moon above them. “After the prison, there were times... times when I almost gave in, too. Like that day after we found the bodies on the train tracks. For hours after I just kept seeing that little shoe, and all the blood, and I kept thinking that was it. That was life. Everyone I loved would end up like that, and so what was the point anymore?” 

She swallowed hard as talking about it, even softly and just to him, brought back a surge of memories of that day; the copper scent of blood clinging in her nose as it had clung to that small little shoe, the way her body had trembled and quaked with the sorrow and fear that had been building up in her since she’d watched her Daddy get killed right in front of her eyes. The stink of blood was in her nose now, but she willed it away, breathed slowly in and out until all she smelled was the cool night air and the faint green scent of the forest, and the familiar scent of _Daryl_ beside her, all leather and dirt and musk.

“But then there was you.” She reached up with her free hand and gently brushed back a few stray strands of dark hair from in front of his eyes. “You sitting across the fire from me, reminding me I wasn’t alone. Never leaving my side, even if you didn’t say a damn word. Even as I dragged you through the forest after alcohol of all things, like some rebellious teenager or something. You pulled me out of it as much as I did the same for you, you know. You gave me reasons to keep going.”

A faint smile crossed her lips. “I’ll be honest, in the beginning half my motivation every day was just to see how much I could push, if I could annoy you into snapping, but you never did... And then it became about more. It became wanting to prove to you I was worthy to be at your side, until I realized you already treated me like I was.” Her smile faintly widened. “You never treated me like I was weak, like I was nothin’, and when I realized that, it only made me want more and more to show you that you were right. And then, well...” She smiled and ducked her head. “I’d say then I stated to care for you, but I think I always had, deep inside. It just grew, day by day, without me even realizing it, until that night in the funeral home.” Until she’d seen it in his eyes, big and important and honest, and she’d realized that everything she saw was reflected inside her, too. It hadn’t been love then, not yet, but it had been something. A beginning. 

“When I was in the hospital, thinkin’ about how maybe this was my fate, I could hear your voice, tellin’ me what bullshit it was. I remembered the way you’d never given up, day after day just always pushing and moving, always with me.” She drew in a deep breath and exhaled in a sigh. “You _were_ always with me, even then. Every time I felt weak, I’d remember the way you looked at me that first time I stabbed that walker, in the forest when you were on your back holding it above you. When I felt like giving up, I just remembered the way you kept striding through the forest day after day. I’d remember the way you looked at me that night. Like I’d _given_ you something. Like I’d given you hope. And I knew that if I had _given_ you hope, then it was inside me to begin with, and I couldn’t let it go out. I had to fight. Like I did in the forest, when I was tryin’ so hard to make you proud.” 

Her brow furrowed faintly as she searched for the right words, trying to put to voice everything she’d been feeling now for months. Her thoughts and emotions were scattershot; what she felt for him was so big that it felt like it was spilling out of her, but in so many directions that it was hard to pinpoint it all. If she could have brought him within her and let him feel everything she felt, she would have; but this was the best she could do right now. “I fought for you and for our family, for that hope, but I fought for _me_ , too, you know? I learned after I tried to take my own life that I wanted to live, but also because you showed me that I could; that I was a fighter, that I was strong.” 

“You didn’t need me, to be strong. You were always strong.” It was the first Daryl had spoken since she’d started to pour out all her thoughts for him, and Beth wasn’t surprised at what he’d chosen to protest. He was always, always standing up for her strength, even back when he had done it without words. 

“I know.” Beth smiled again, soft and sweet. “But being with you... I don’t know how to explain it right. It’s like I was always strong, but some of it was hidden. Maybe it was by my own self-doubt, or maybe just because I didn’t know how to use it. I think you just... you acted like you already believed I was strong, and no one had done that before. You just accepted it like it was a fact and somehow, that helped me see it. Cause you were never the kind of man to lie, or pretend, so if you acted like something was the truth than it must have been, you know?” Beth’s fingers skated across his palm, making spirals on his flesh as the words kept spilling out of her, “And you taught me things, too. Not to make me strong, but to make me strong _er_. To find new outlets for that strength. No one else ever did that. They always just tried to hide me away, but you never did.” 

He looked like he was going to speak again, but this time it was Beth who raised her finger and pressed it to his lips. “Wait. I just need to get the rest out, okay? I promise, I won’t ramble on too much longer.” 

When he chuckled, she withdrew her finger, and just looked deep into his eyes. “I just want you to know how much you mean to me. You’re the one person who never doubted me. The one person who _saw_ me for who I was, for who I could be. The person who showed me how to use the strength you knew I already had. You’re the man who never gave up on me, not once, even when everyone else did. And I never gave up on you, either, Daryl. You were always with me, even when I felt my most alone. It took me a long time to realize what all that was, what it meant. Why you were the one person I felt safe with, the one person I felt _right_ with. You’re my partner, in every meaning of the word. You’re the one person I will always want to be at my side, the person I will _always_ find my way back to, the person I’ll always be able to count on.” 

She lifted her fingers and grazed them over his cheek as she looked into his eyes and murmured, “Because I love you, Daryl Dixon. I think a tiny part of me has since that day you came to my cell and told me about Zach. Maybe even before that, I don’t know. Love isn’t easy to pinpoint like that, but once you feel it for sure, you know. Like I know without a doubt now. Every day I spend with you that feeling just grows and grows and I don’t think it’ll ever stop growing, as long as I live.” 

His head tipped against her hand and she leaned in to brush her lips over his as she whispered, “I love you, Daryl Dixon. I love every dirty, grumpy, smart, sweet, brave, strong, honest, perfect inch of you.” 

For a few seconds he was silent, simply pressing his lips against hers. Then Beth felt his hands slide against her hips, felt him grip her and gently tug her into his lap. His voice was gruff with amusement as he teased against her mouth, “Could have just said you loved me. Woulda covered _all_ that, you know.”

Beth just laughed. It bubbled out of her, spilling against his lips even as she replied, “I know. But then I wouldn’t be me, if I didn’t use a three hundred words when just three would suffice. Right?”

“Ain’t that the truth.” His hands slid around to her back and tugged her closer as she straddled him, legs sliding over his as her knees braced to the ground and his nearness took her breath away. “Lucky for you, I’ve gotten used to your rambling and babbling, all that time we spent together.” 

She grinned playfully against his mouth and teased right back, “You _love_ my babbling. You love _me_.” 

“Just c’mere, Greene. I got a real good way of puttin’ a stop to that yammering.” And he was right. His lips pressed to hers, and all thought of talking faded away. All thought of _everything_ faded away, because nothing mattered then except the press of his lips to hers and the warmth of his body and the slide of his hands up her back.

She got lost in the taste of him on her tongue as their lips parted in near-unison and his tongue slowly teased across her own. Beth had to stifle a soft moan as his hands slid up her back under her shirt, worn hands pleasantly rough against the smooth skin of her delicately curved back. The kisses were slow but deep and gradually growing even deeper as he held her close and the desire between them sparked and flamed.

Everything was just a pleasant, heated haze. Soon her hands were up his shirt and running across his chest, and his brushed around to slide up over her taut stomach. This time she couldn’t stifle her soft moan when his hand cupped her breast through the thin fabric of her bra. Instinct had her arching her back and spilling a soft low noise into his lips as he caressed and teased, working her nipple into a tight bud that pressed against his palm. 

“ _Daryl_...” She tried to stay quiet, but couldn’t stop herself from softly moaning his name. It seemed that the sound of it did for him what his hands were doing to her, because he gripped her tighter, one hand cupping her breast and gently squeezing as the other shifted in between them to fumble at the waistband of her pants.

Beth was only half aware of what was happening. Her own hands fumbled too, getting between them, finding the button on his jeans and struggling to undo them. Everything had an unexpectedly frantic edge to it, built on the desperate struggle of the day and fueled by their mutual proclamations to each other. Her lips never once left his, even as they both fumbled to undo the other’s pants, desperate to get to something; Beth wasn’t even fully aware of what in the moment, she just knew she needed it, needed _him_.

Somehow he managed to undo the front of her jeans, and his fingers traced lightly over the front of her worn panties, revealed by the gap in her jeans, pulling a breathy gasp from her lips and then, just as she got the button of his jeans undone, just as his fingers shifted to try and dip lower... 

A cough echoed through the clearing, followed by the rustling of fabric as Rick rolled over to face their direction. In a way it was like he’d dumped a bucket of ice water over them both, stopping them in their tracks, only Beth could still feel that heat between them, could still feel that _need_ low in her belly.

She could see it in Daryl’s eyes still, too, but there was a sheepish sort of look on his face as he shook her head. “Kissin’ you is dangerous, Greene.” 

Beth pouted playfully. “Yeah, but haven’t we already established that it also helps us remember why we’re alive?”

“Yeah, I know.” To her surprise, his hands were gentle as he buttoned her pants back up and tugged down her shirt to cover it. “I feel alive with you every day, Beth.” His rough fingers were soft as he sweetly tucked a few strands of hair behind her ear. “I wanna feel alive with you the way we were just about to.” He paused, and she saw him glance to the group curled up on the ground by the cabin, before he looked back to her. “But not like this. You deserve better. We _both_ do.” 

A year ago, she never would have expected anything so romantic to come out of Daryl’s lips. But here, now, it was very him. And though she wanted him desperately, Beth knew he was right. Their first time together shouldn’t be frantic and quick, shouldn’t be stifled moans and gasps as they hurried to finish, to keep the others from noticing. Of course, they didn’t have to hold back- Glenn and Maggie certainly didn’t, and they weren’t the only ones. 

But they weren’t Glenn and Maggie. Her and Daryl were quiet, they were private, everything between them was intimately personal, and this should be too. Beth knew that, and the smile she gave him made it clear that she felt the same way he did. 

Still, the events of the day lingered in her mind, and Beth couldn’t help thinking about that stark knowledge that someday would be her last, and she might never know when it would come. So when she looked into his eyes and brushed her fingers up over his cheek, Beth couldn’t help but ask softly, “Soon?” 

He was with her, as he always was these days, his thoughts traversing the same paths as hers. “Soon,” he murmured against her lips giving her one more kiss. “I promise.”

They lingered like that for a long moment, forehead to forehead, until she felt his firm hands grip her hips and lift her off his lap to set her back down beside him as he teased again, “Now c’mon, Greene. Supposed to be on watch and here you are, distractin’ me with your babbling, and your damn kisses...” 

“Yeah, but you liked it.” She settled next to him again and tipped her cheek to rest on his shoulder once more, perfectly happy and at ease as she murmured, “Cause you love me.” 

His reply was a simple ‘mm’ and a curl of his fingers against hers, but Beth didn’t need any more than that. If Beth was the sort of person who used three hundred words when three would suffice, than Daryl was the sort of man who could say everything he needed to with a simple hum.

This hum, soft and short, was really four perfect, beautiful words: _I love you, too._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know it wasn't as exciting as the last chapter, but I hope everyone still enjoyed this! It was a nice cool down, and it'll ease the way nicely into the next chapter, which will be equal parts humor and heat, wink wink, you'll see. Speaking of the next chapter, it MAY not be up tomorrow, as I do have New Years Day plans. The day after at the latest, I promise!
> 
> Also, the "star-crossed lovers" story is a reference to "Day Three (Peace)" from my [Little Moments](http://archiveofourown.org/works/2765099/) series. If you're curious, feel free to check it out, if you haven't already. It's a series of little one-shots/ficlets set from between Still and Alone.


	26. And It Was Good

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Daryl is starting to think the group is trying to get in the way of his plans, which only makes him more determined to see them through.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this took a day longer than usual. I really wanted to get it perfect, considering what happens in this chapter is a big deal. I hope it came out as well as I wanted it to.
> 
>  **Warnings** : This chapter has a 'mature' rating. It is not explicit, but it is definitely nsfw.

The first time it happened, Daryl was grateful. After all, Rick’s conveniently timed cough had broken into his thoughts just in time to stop Daryl from trying to take Beth right there on the ground when he was supposed to be on watch. He’d needed that interruption, even if it had been unintentional-- and yeah, he’d studied Rick’s face for a few moments, just to make sure it was.

Because Beth deserved better than having her first time all quick and rough against the ground. Not that he wasn’t sure she’d have liked it (judging by the way she’d been moving against him, she definitely would have), but because he just wanted it to be more than that. He didn’t want to have to rush the first time with her. There wasn’t much in this world that was special anymore, that felt _good_ ; but she did, to him, and so she deserved a moment as special as he could make it.

The problem was that whenever he found something even close to what might be good enough for her, it seemed to get interrupted somehow.

He was willing to believe the second time had been an accident, too. They’d begun the trek up to Virginia again, sticking to the mountains and forest after deciding that even after what they’d gone through it was still safer than risking the highways. A few nights after the trouble with the Hunters, they found a small little cabin sitting on a ridge in the mountains. Nothing as big as the one they’d stayed at down in Georgia, but as good a place as any to hunker down for a night, maybe two, give them some rest and time to maybe gather some more supplies from nearby.

Daryl figured it was probably his own fault for not officially claiming the bedroom as theirs for the night. Maybe he was dumb for assuming people would have seen the closed door (there was no lock) and understood someone was inside it. He had Beth laid out on that bed with him, her face so pretty in the little flickering light of a candle he’d stolen from the kitchen; partially because he’d thought she deserved something like candles on her first time, but also because it reminded him of that night in the funeral home, and the way she’d looked when she’d breathed out _oh_. 

He’d been in the process of kissing down over her lips to her neck, nudging aside the top of her shirt to graze his lips over her collarbone, pulling those soft sounds from her that he loved so damn much....

Until the door had burst open and Glenn and Maggie had come stumbling inside, their quiet laughter breaking off in embarrassed sounds when they caught sight of Daryl and Beth laying on the bed together in the flickering candlelight.

“Room’s _taken_ ,” he growled out, too irritated to laugh even if the look of shock and embarrassment (especially on Glenn), was pretty funny as the pair of them stumbled out of the room.

But the mood had been broken, and they both knew it even before Beth began to giggle beneath him. Neither of them wanted to have their first time knowing that Maggie and Glenn were fully aware of what was going on in here like that. That they might even tell the others, now, and both of them were too private for that kind of knowledge to not make them uncomfortable.

He hadn’t been too mad, at the time. He couldn’t be when she was giggling beneath him, all lit up with her laughter and shining like the sun as she kept going on and on about how stunned Glenn had looked, like if they’d poked him he might have just fallen over. 

Besides, it had been nice in the end to just curl up with her, kiss for a bit, and fall asleep. 

But that had only been the second time, after all.

*** 

The third time came a few days later, when Beth and Daryl decided to set off into the woods to try and follow some deer tracks. The group was camped out by a river, lighting fires during the day and trying their best to catch fish with sticks, some old fishing line he’d had stashed away in the bottom of his bag, and hooks he’d made by using his knife to cut and shape the tabs from some of their canned food.

He’d figured they’d all be occupied, and that out in the woods they’d have some time alone. It wasn’t a bed of course, but he and Beth both seemed to prefer being out in the woods, so maybe that was an even better idea. He brought a blanket folded in his bag and that candle too, just in case, and when they picked up their bows and made their way from camp he caught the sound of her little knowing giggle as her arm brushed against his, sending a little thrill of heat through him. 

They made it just enough into the words to be out of sight of the camp before he found himself pressing her up against a tree, his hands sliding up over her jean-clad hips as he pressed into her with a low growl. Daryl had never been a very physical sort of person before Beth- unless ‘physical’ included a tendency to lash out and try and punch assholes, in which case he’d certainly been physical in that way.

He’d never been the type of person to enjoy touches, let alone crave them. He’d been the guy who avoided it at all costs most days, even when greased on alcohol. Before Beth, he’d definitely not been the kind of man who ached for it, who couldn’t seem to resist kissing his girl when they had a bit of privacy. Then again, he hadn’t had his girl then. He hadn’t had Beth.

Now that he had, it was like he just couldn’t get enough of her; the way she tasted, the way she felt, the way she laughed and smiled and gave those soft little gasps and moans. The way she loved him. 

Daryl drank her in as he pinned her to the tree, giving them their first hint of how they would come together soon, spread out on a blanket, surrounded by the forest they loved so much...

Until the crack of a tree branch behind him had Daryl turning sharply, his hand instantly going to the knife at his waist as Beth’s shifted down to her own. Only it wasn’t a walker that stepped right in to interrupt them.

It was Carl.

At least the boy had the decency to look sheepish as he stood there wide-eyed, one hand clutching his new compound bow and the other holding the knife Beth had been teaching him how to use. He shuffled his feet on the ground as he said awkwardly, “I thought I could come hunting with you, maybe? Dad said you might want to be alone, but he said I could ask anyway, if I could catch you...” 

Was that a hint of amusement in the kid’s eye? The kid was far from naive, after all. They’d _all_ fallen asleep hearing Maggie and Glenn or Rosita and Abraham more nights than they’d wished to, and that included Carl despite his father doing his best to shield him from it. Daryl knew the kid- teenager, technically- knew plenty about that kinda stuff by now, and he couldn’t help wondering if Carl knew exactly what they’d had in mind, going off together. 

He wanted to tell the kid to go off back to his Dad. That this was Beth and his time and they didn’t need no interruptions. But then he glanced down at Beth, and she was looking up at him with this soft, sweet smile, and he just knew he was gonna end up stuck with the kid. As much as he wanted to tell her no, he couldn’t. He knew what Beth’s help meant for Carl, after all; he’d been on the receiving end of that help of hers before, too. 

“Fine,” he said with a sigh, just for her ears as he added in a whisper, “But we’re picking this up again as soon as we can. Deal?” 

Her fingers grazed his cheek and she ignored the face Carl was making to press her lips to his and whisper, “Deal.” 

When she slid past him to smile at Carl and brightly point out the deer tracks on the ground to him, Daryl only felt mildly annoyed. It was only the third time, after all, and he had to admit there was something he always liked about watching Beth with Carl, the way she was both sweet and nurturing and yet confident at the same time.

*** 

The fourth time was a day or two later. He and Beth and Carl had tracked down a fawn together and brought it back to the camp, and really, it had been worth the interruption to see Carl so damn proud helping to carry their catch back. 

They’d taken a day to deal with the deer. Daryl and Beth had shown Carl how to build a tripod out of sticks over the fire, lashing smaller stickers to it horizontally that they draped strips of venison on to dry and smoke so they could make it last longer.

It had been impossible not to notice the way their hands kept touching as they worked, the way sometimes Beth would lean close to him and brush their shoulders together, or let the pads of her fingers graze his hand as they worked together to tie a stick to the makeshift tripod. The ends of her hair kept brushing his shoulder as she leaned over him, pulling a little smirk to the corner of his lips, and when she’d catch sight of it she’d grin back at him in a way that always seemed to make him feel like he was staring at the sun. 

He figured everyone had to notice the way they were together these days, and he was surprised they didn’t get teased more. He figured it had something to do with losing Abraham and Gabriel. Losing people always changed the vibe of the group. People got sad, sure, but it was more than that. Losing someone had a way of reminding a person of their own mortality and the mortality of the ones they loved. It made them cling closer, it made them cherish the moments of smiling or laughing or just plain happiness even more.

So they didn’t tease Glenn and Maggie for hanging all over each other constantly, or Noah and Ivy for the way they often ended up curled up together at the end of the day, and no one teased Beth and Daryl for being so wrapped up in each other they forgot to be as private as they usually were. It wasn’t like they’d been making out in front of each other like Glenn and Maggie did, but by their standards, the little smiles and touches and laughs were about the same thing. 

The day after they’d finished drying out the venison and wrapped it up leaves to pack it into a couple bags, they found another cabin up in the mountains. Unfortunately this time, it wasn’t as unoccupied as the last few places they’d found. The walker had been trapped in a closet somehow, he could only assume by someone who had shut it in their either to catch it, or before it could turn in the first place.

Before Daryl had known what was happening to him, he was pinned back against the wall, struggling with the walker that was snapping it’s teeth just inches from his face. He had time to notice the way one of it’s eyes had rotted clean out of his head, and how it was missing half it’s teeth but seemed no less dangerous for it. The adrenaline was pumping, but he wasn’t too worried because he knew Beth was close, he could sense her even when he couldn’t see her, these days.

He didn’t even have to call out her name. He just gripped the walker’s shoulders tight and thrust his arms out to hold the sonofabitch as firmly as he could, and seconds later he felt the body he clutched jolt as Beth slammed her knife into the back of it’s head right to the hilt.

When the body slumped to the floor and their eyes met, both of their chests were heaving from the exertion, the pair of them all filled with adrenaline in a way that made heat flash between them. It was all he could do not to jump her right there and pin her back against the wall to kiss her till she was gasping for breath in a much more delicious sort of way.

Because of course, they weren’t alone. Of course within two seconds Sasha was coming into the room, her gun lowering at the sight of the walker dead on the floor between them. And of course, she was smirking a little as she asked, “Everything okay in here?”

“Fine,” Daryl said roughly, pushing off the wall and reaching down to pick up the crossbow he’d dropped.

“We took care of it,” Beth replied, somehow far more calm than he’d managed to sound, even smiling as she wiped her knife on the walker’s shirt and then slid it back into her sheath. “All clear.” 

He wasn’t even sure if that counted as the fourth time, considering they’d gotten no further than staring at each other with heaving chests, but it _was_ the first time he’d started to think the damn group was purposefully getting in their way.

*** 

Later that night, they ended up in another closet. Beth’s giggles spilled softly from her lips as his hands slid up her hips and under the hem of her shirt. He collected her laughter, her gasps, her moans; every sound she made was like heaven to him. When it came to Beth, every word from her lips was like sunshine and gold, but the sounds she made were in a category of their own. 

Maybe it was because he was learning how to coax them out of her, and so each one was like a gift, a reward for finding just the right way to touch her. He touched her and he remembered the way her fingers had glided over the keys that night at the funeral home, the way she’d plucked out sweet notes just like he pulled those beautiful sounds from her now. 

She would always be his favorite form of music. His songbird. He loved to make her sing in whatever way he could. 

He had her tucked into the corner of the closet, having pushed aside the coats that filled it so he could pull her inside. He wasn’t planning on having her right here, not fully, but there _was_ a bed just outside and if they got carried away a bit more than he’d planned, well, they could always move things a bit.

All he’d wanted was a chance to be alone with her; alone and close and drinking her in the way he loved to these days. Trailing kisses across the curve of her neck until she sighed, nipping gently at her collarbone until she threaded her fingers into his hair and arched into him, sliding his fingers under her shirt to graze up her skin until....

“Beth?” Rick’s voice sounded outside the bedroom door, and just as Daryl broke off in a groan, he heard Judith’s plaintive, sharp cry. “Beth, I’m sorry, I don’t mean to bother you, but Judith is really worked up, and nothing I do seems to calm her down.” 

He felt Beth sigh at the same time he did. His eyes opened just to look down at her own more time, to see the same disappointment in her eyes, mingled as it was with desire and love, and a hint of promise. “Soon,” she whispered again, not for the first time. 

With a brush of her lips she pulled away from him, calling out as she opened the closet door, “I’ll be right there, Rick. She probably just needs a song or two...” 

That was, what, the fifth time? Fourth, if you didn’t count earlier, but he was damn well going to, because now he was _really_ getting annoyed. Hell, his old self would have punched at least one of them by now just for constantly getting in his way. The stress of it was enough to have Merle back in his head, although to be fair his brother’s voice was actually being amusing for once, making a good point about just throwing Beth over his shoulder and striding into the woods with her, all while giving the group a big middle finger. 

Alright, so maybe it wasn’t the best plan, but it was still tempting, especially when she turned just at the door to give him a sweet slow smile that just made him want to wrap her up in his arms and kiss her until she was sighing again. 

There had to be a way for them to get some damn time alone without interruption, and he was gonna make it his new mission to figure it out.

*** 

Daryl figured he’d finally found the solution two days later, when they came across a lodge up in the mountains. It looked to be several stories, all worn but sturdy wood with a big front porch and several large windows and balconies. Nothing too big or fancy, but the kind of place that was apparently ‘gorgeous’- at least according to Beth, who breathed that out just as they crested a ridge and saw it on the other side of a long wooden bridge. 

He knew right then that it was perfect. Or it was damn well gonna be, if he had anything to say about it. 

Which was why he approached the entire thing just as determinedly as he had helped Rick plan a run or an attack or the defense of the prison in the past. This was his new mission, after all. First he, Rick, and Beth went to scout all around the outside of the place, shooting the single walker they found stumbling across a back porch., scanning for any signs of more walkers, or possibly worse, humans living there. When they had found all the exits and entrances and nothing more than old faded tracks on the ground, they headed back to the group.

Daryl was splitting them up into groups before they could even blink. One for the front entrance, one to the back. He and Beth would be leading the first group into the front with Sasha, Tyreese, Maggie, and Glenn. Rick and Michonne would lead the second with Carol, Carl, and Rosita into the back. Tara would cover the bridge with Eugene, while Hank and Noah covered the back, where Ivy would stay with Judith. 

The plans were decided and executed in a snap. Daryl was completely focused and serious as he led his group up the front steps, and Beth seemed to pick up his mood, that steely gaze in her eyes as they tested the door and pulled it open, ready for walkers. They cleared the small lodge in a fashion almost as orderly as a well-oiled machine. Beth took down one walker they found in the foyer, while Maggie got another hiding through the swinging kitchen doors. Once the ground floor was cleared, they made their way upstairs, one group taking the first floor and the other the second, going room by room. 

There were walkers here, too. He wasn’t sure whether they were the original guests of the place, or maybe a group that had been staying here only to have things go bad. It was hard to tell but Daryl was pretty sure it was the former. Some of the rooms looked a bit ransacked and judging by the weapons they’d found on the walkers, they had been prepared at least somewhat. With things as quiet as they were up in the woods, his bet was someone hiding a bite when they came here, and then turning on them all. It only took one after all. 

With their group as large and organized as it was, it didn’t take long to clear the place of walkers. Not only did they add to their weapons stash, which they still needed after losing a good half of it to the fire, the place proved to have a small stash of food, too. More importantly, it had space. Space and _rooms_ , which was what Daryl was most focused on.

First, he laid claim to one of the cleanest rooms he could find, up on the top floor. He made sure everyone knew, too, when he and Rick handed out room keys and then helped set up a watch plan for the night to make sure the place was thoroughly safe. No one wanted a repeat of the cabin and the fire. They were gonna keep this place _watched_ and safe, with double the people on watch that they normally would have. Everything would go in shifts.

Daryl made sure to sign him and Beth up for the third shift, which would give them eight hopefully-private hours. He only felt slightly guilty lying to Rick and telling him that he was a bit worried about Beth needed some space and time to relax without too many people around. It was mostly a lie, sure, but if it bought them some time and space it was worth it. Rick agreed right away to make sure and give them space, and if Daryl caught a hint of a smirk on Michonne’s face when she overheard him, well, he didn’t comment on it. She could think whatever she wanted, even if she was probably thinking right.

With Beth distracted for the moment in sorting through whatever they could find to add to her medical supplies, Daryl got to work on his plan to make things perfect.

He knew he didn’t have to. He knew still that Beth would have been perfectly happy being with him out in the woods, with her back against the tree or pressed down into the dirt and the leaves. He would have, too. In fact a part of him wanted that, eventually.

But he couldn’t help remembering that despite how strong and brave she was now, despite the fact that she was a goddess with fire at her core and steel in her eyes, she had once been the sweet, innocent girl who’d grown up on a farm, who’d dreamed of first kisses and hand-holding and sweet, romantic moments. The woman she was now still had a part of that girl inside of her. The woman she was now was _all_ of that. Strong as forged steel but full of sweetness and hope, a nurturer as much as she was a warrior.

She deserved to have something special. She deserved a memory that would last as long as possible, a sweet bright spot that would stand out against everything else. Despite a voice like Beth’s in his mind telling him that anything with him would be special, Daryl was determined to make it even more so. He was intent on giving her at least something like what she might have dreamed of years ago when she was that sweet, soft innocent back on her Daddy’s farm. 

It was because of her, after all, that he truly believed he _could_ give her that, despite his own roughness, despite his demons and his dark past. It was because of her that he thought his worn and dirty hands could still give her something she would consider beautiful. Knowing that only made him want to give it to her even more.

So he worked, harder than he had in a long time, just to make it perfect for her. He ignored the stares he got slipping in and out of rooms, he ignored any of the questions people threw at him, he just kept his head down and put on that ‘leave me alone’ look he was so damn good at, until he’d gotten done what he needed.

Only then did he go and find her. His fingers curled around her arm and gently tugged as he said gruffly, “C’mon.” 

She looked up like she might question him, but then their eyes met and she must have seen something in his gaze, must have read him the way she always did, cause he was an open book when it came to her eyes. Instead, all she said was a simple, “Okay.”

His hand grasped hers, ignoring the looks all around them as he led her through the wood-paneled lodge, guiding her across hardwood floors and up the creaking wooden steps until they came to the second floor. He had time to register the question in her eyes, but he didn’t say anything. Just bent over and scooped her up in his arms the way he had what felt like ages ago now, bringing her into that kitchen for a redneck feast of pigs feet and peanut butter.

(He tried, tried, tried not to remember that it was the same way he’d carried her when he’d thought she might be dead, when the only thing keeping him moving was the faint exhale of her breath, though in it’s own way that was just as important a memory as the other time, because it was what had brought them here too.) 

“Daryl!” She sounded surprised, and as he took a few steps down the hallway, he couldn’t resist teasing her in a slightly rough voice, “I know, you were goin’ as fast as you could. Well, forget that.” Amusement tinged his voice, and a smile crossed his lips when she just tipped her head back and laughed, her voice bright as the sun again.

He carried her down the hallway like that, right to the door of the room at the end of the hall that he’d claimed for theirs. He supposed he should have said something, given some context or explanation, but he’d never been one for words when his actions could speak for him. So he just nudged open the door with his foot and stepped inside to let the room speak for him.

It took her a moment to drink it all in. First he heard her gasp and he figured she was seeing the flickering of the candles he’d found (or stolen); five of them this time; one on each nightstand and three on the dresser on the left-hand wall. Then he heard her sigh, and he guessed she’d spotted the clean and soft white comforter he’d found after rummaging through a linen closet on the floor below them. He’d pulled the other one off the bed and laid this down instead, because it had looked like something she’d have imagined back when things like first times were the most complicated dreams in her mind. 

Finally she breathed out a soft, “ _Oh_ ,” and Daryl reckoned she much have seen the little bouquet of wildflowers he’d picked out behind the lodge and laid down on the bed. Nothing much, but still something. Still a gesture, much like others he’d made in the past before; bone-handed knives and his crossbow, a small clutch of flowers on a grave marked ‘beloved father’, a jar of moonshine, a spoon in a can of peanut butter. 

“Daryl, you didn’t have to do any of this...” 

Her voice was breathy with awe and he smiled as he closed the door behind them. “I know.” 

“I mean, I’d have been happy just _being_ with you, Daryl, _anywhere_ , as long as it was just the two of us.” 

He crossed the room with her, carrying her towards the bed. “I know.” 

“It would have been special just because it was with you. It would have been more special than anything, Daryl.” 

He smiled, and lowered her carefully down to the bed, so her hair spilled out around her head in a halo. “I know.” 

She looked up at him with one of those radiantly happy smiles, and he already knew what she’s gonna say before the words even come out, because he knew _that_ smile so well these days. “I love you.”

Daryl reached over and picked up the flowers, curling her fingers around them for a moment before leaning down from where he was sitting beside her to rest his forehead against his as he breathed out in a murmur, “ _I know_.” 

Then his lips were pressed to hers, and it was like everything he felt was pouring out of him again for her. He hadn’t said those words (I love you) since the first time, but he didn’t need to with Beth, and she knew it. She knew that it meant a lot for him just to say it at all, and she cherished the one time he had spoken it to her. Sometimes he wished he could say it more, but he was glad that he didn’t need to. He was glad that she could feel it in his kisses and touches, that she could see it in his eyes or hear it in his other, less heavy words.

He knew she could, because whenever she did she’d whisper back ‘I love you, too’. He would curl his arm around her at night and settle his hand at her hip, and when his nose would nuzzle against the back of her neck, she’d sigh and murmur those four words. They’d exhale from her lips after he cupped her face and kissed her, or she’d breathe them out when he’d come across her singing softly to Judith and just look at her like he was savoring every moment of how beautiful she was. 

She always seemed to know when he was thinking it. In the serious moments, in the sensual moments, even in the light-hearted ones where he was laughing at some silly thing she’d said, and as her own giggles had trailed away she’d whispered into his ear those same four words again.

Like right now. His lips parted against hers and he poured himself into that kiss, letting his love for her fuel him, soaking up her sunshine and doing his damned best to radiate it back to her, to give her that same good warmth that she gave to him every day. When the kiss broke so they could catch their breath, the first thing she whispered against his lips was four breathless words, “ _I love you, too._ ” 

All he could do was smile, because she knew him so well. Better than anyone had in his life, ever before. It only made him want to give her the world even more, to give her this perfect moment. 

Of course, things didn’t go so smoothly in real life as they had in his head. First he got so caught up in kissing her that he hadn’t even realized he’d pinned the flowers between them until he felt something jabbing into his chest. When he drew back, and Beth reached between them to hold up the squashed flowers, they both grinned. And when he tried to roll over to set them on the floor, he somehow managed to almost roll off the bed, fumbling for a grasp on the blankets before he pulled himself up.

For one second he wondered if he was meant to be mortified, but then something inside them both seemed to un-knot at the same time. Suddenly they were just laughing, stretched out side-by-side on the bed, her foot bumping against his as her giggles filled the air. When they finally trailed off, she turned on her side to face him, and he felt her fingers grazing up over his chest as she murmured, “This is perfect.” 

He snorted. “Even though I squashed the flowers an’ almost fell off the bed, an’ all that while we’re still dressed?” 

“Yes.” Beth grinned at him, and suddenly it felt perfect to him, too. Especially when she went on happily, “And cause you made me laugh. My Mama told me once a long time ago that if I fell in love with someone, she hoped it was someone who could make me laugh. She said that’s the best kind of man you can find, one that can make you laugh in the middle of anything and just wipe all your tension away.” 

His breath hitched unexpectedly at the way she was looking at him now, love shining in those big blue eyes, an entire sky full of joy looking back at him. “She was right. You’re the best kind of man for all sorts of reasons, but I love that you can make me laugh even in a moment like this.” He lay there as she moved closer to him, tucking her cheek against his chest and tracing circles across his chest, something softer and somehow also huskier in her voice as she added, “It makes me want you even more, too.” 

After that of course, he had to kiss her. It went more smoothly the second time around. He had her pressed beneath him, her back arching up in offering as his lips grazed from her mouth and down the curve of her neck to the hollow of her throat, where he felt her pulse leap as if to meet him. His hand brushed up under her shirt, following a map he’d already made of her taut stomach and the dip of her navel and the swell of her breast. 

This time they didn’t get interrupted, although when she reached down to pull off her t-shirt and toss it aside, they both froze for just a moment until they caught sight of each other and laughed. “Nothing on fire yet?” Beth’s voice was husky but amused at the same time as she reached down between them to find the hem of his shirt and began to slowly tug it up.

“Nah,” he murmured shortly, before breathing out in a lower voice. “Just me. But that’s all your doing, girl.” 

The “oh” she breathed out in reply was just as playful as it was breathy, and Daryl chuckled in response against her mouth before he sat up to strip his shirt off and set it carefully aside.

They both knew it was a risk to take off clothes, even in a place of relative safety. Normally he wouldn’t even think to remove everything they had, but tonight (for her, for _this_ ) he was willing to risk it. The door was locked after all and the group was on alert, and he wanted to believe that just once they’d be allowed to have a moment without anything going wrong.

Well, anything beyond the slight awkwardness that seemed to come naturally to two people who were pretty much equally inexperienced. Even that seemed to somehow make the moment more perfect, though. Like when they reached for each other at the same time and their hands tangled in midair until Beth just giggled and fell back against the bed. Which was just great really, because his hand had been reaching for her and now he was free to slide it over her stomach until he could cup her breast again.

With just her bra between his hand and her skin, he could feel her pulse fluttering lightly against his palm, and when he began to gently cup it and squeeze it, the little arch of her back to thrust it into his hand was all the encouragement he needed to keep touching her. He’d already learned after their nights spent sleeping together that a graze of his thumb across the curve of her breast would cause her nipple to tighten and press against the fabric in a way that made her breath out more of those sweet little sounds, and he was aching to earn them again right now.

Those sounds were nothing compared to the ones she made when he gently tugged down the fabric of her bra just enough to reveal the soft swell of one of her breasts. He pressed a line of kisses up across the curve of it, lingering right over her rosy nipple until she pressed up in silent offering and made him grin against he sensitive skin. Hesitantly at first, Daryl sucked the pert little bud between his lips, but the moan that fell from her parted lips only made him more confident, especially when her fingers laced into his hair and held him to her chest. 

Neither of them was exactly certain of what they were doing, but that was okay because they had each other as guides. First it was Beth guiding him, nudging his hand up to her back and shifting onto her elbows so he could reach behind her and fumble with the clasp of her bra. She didn’t laugh at his awkwardness and that was a good thing, because he kinda felt like that would have been mortifying. Instead she just tucked her face into the crook of his neck and kissed softly at his warm skin, making him smile and softly hum as he worked at the clasp until finally he got it undone. 

The look she gave him when she lay back against the bed, all slow smiles and dark blue eyes, made him feel far more confident. That fueled his movements without a doubt as he looked down at her, bared to the waist for the first time. She was gorgeous. She was _glorious_ ; all smooth pale skin and soft curves and a flush that spread across her warm skin. He wanted to map out every inch of her with his lips, wanted to taste each bit of her sweet flesh. Daryl started by kissing across her collarbone and down, until he could brush his lips up the swell of the breast that he hadn’t tasted yet. Soon he was sharing his kisses between both, inwardly filled with pride at the way she arched up or moaned when he would suck her pert nipples between his lips. 

He could have done that for hours, but they both wanted more. They got tangled again, hands both going to the waistbands of pants at the same time until Beth breathed out a giggle against his mouth that had him kissing her until she was breathless, simply because he could. Simply because he liked the taste of her laughter on his tongue. 

Eventually he let her go first, helping to guide her hands as she undid his belt and his pants and began to tug them down to his knees until he could kick them off himself. Of course it was only once he’d gotten them down to his ankles that Daryl realized he’d forgotten to take off his boots, which made things awkward once again; though it was hard to feel too awkward when she was smiling and kissing his shoulders and running her hands up his chest as if she just couldn’t get enough of her touch.

Daryl felt the same way and really, that was all that mattered, right? It wasn’t about how smooth this was, or if her first time was 100% perfect and not the tiniest bit awkward. It was about them, unable to get enough of each other, them being as close as they could possibly be, them being alive, _together_.

Realizing that made it even easier, and to his surprise, when he stopped trying so hard things got smoother. Even when they hitched a bit, he didn’t mind so much. After getting his boots and pants off, kneeling on the bed above her in nothing but his briefs, Daryl worked on the button of her jeans. It was far easier than her bra, though to be honest the sight of her stretched out beneath him and bared to the waist was really goddamn distracting. Enough that he stopped halfway through drawing down her zipper just to lean in and mouth his way up over her navel and between the valley of her breasts, nipping gently at her skin until she sighed in pleasure. 

Only once he’d earned that low sound did he sit back up and finish working on her jeans, stepping back and adjusting her legs for a moment so he could tug them off and drop them in the convenient pile of clothes on the floor. Now the two of them were in only their underwear. Physically they were more exposed than they every had been together, but for once Daryl didn’t feel vulnerable and he had a feeling Beth didn’t either. How could either of them feel exposed when their souls were like open books to the other? When they’d seen each other cracked open and raw and revealed, and helped to stitch each other back up? This wasn’t vulnerability, right now. This was just _right_. It was them. 

Neither of them seemed to care either that their underwear were worn and even a bit ragged. Daryl didn’t care that there was a little hole in the side of Beth’s panties, and she didn’t seem to care that the bottom hem of his was torn a bit on one side from wear. It didn’t matter. None of it did, because it was them, and that made it perfect.

This time when he kissed her, he could feel almost every inch of her body pressed to his. In a long life of the only touches being punches and slaps, rough grips or the lash of a belt to his back, being skin against skin with Beth like this was the most intimate physical thing he’d ever felt before. The fact that they were so emotionally close as well made it all even more intense. He felt wrapped up in her, surrounded by her scent and her warmth, and he knew that he would never in his life feel more connected to anyone than he did to Beth.

On the heels of that thought came the realization that soon, things would only get more intimate. Soon he would be deep inside her and she would be literally wrapped around him, their bodies practically merging together the same way their souls had. It sent a little shudder down his spine as he parted his lips against hers and dipped his tongue into her mouth. Beneath him, Beth spread her legs wider, curling one gently around him and arching her hips up in a way that left no doubt that she was well aware of how hard he was, how he was straining against his briefs as he pressed down against her.

There was so little between them that he could feel her heat against him, and he knew even more that she wanted this just as much as he did. But they took their time, because they could. They went slowly and got lost in the slide of skin against skin, in the taste of each other on their tongues and lips, in the way the other gasped or sighed when a hand brushed just right over a hip or a back or a breast or a thigh.

They stayed like that all tangled up in each other until his hips were grinding slowly down, making him growl low in his throat with need; until she gave these sharp little whimpers against his mouth and pressed her hips right back up to meet his, and he finally had to break his kisses to look down at her.

“Are you sure?” He had to ask. The words spilled out of him before he could stop himself, but in a way, they were the right words too. She was perfect and he loved her and she deserved someone who would make absolutely certain she wanted every single thing they did together. 

His reward was the smile that lit up her whole face, like the sun rising on the most beautiful sight he’d ever seen, and a giggle slipped from her lips as she replied breathlessly, “Lord, yes, Daryl Dixon. I’ve never been more sure of anything in my life than I am of you.” 

Well then. Couldn’t get much surer than that, could it? 

Knowing he was grinning, Daryl began to lean over the bed to find his jeans. “Let me just-”  
“Oh, I just need to grab-” 

Not only did they talk at the same time, but they moved together too, both of them leaning over the bed at the same time and nearly bumping heads. Confused, Daryl reached into the pocket of his jeans and pulled out a foil-wrapped package, holding it up to her... just as she slipped her fingers into the pocket of her jeans and came up with it’s twin. 

“How-”  
“Who-”

They both grinned and then laughed, and when he said “Glenn” and she replied “Maggie” a second later, well, there was nothing to do but laugh again, both of them falling back to the bed until they were side by side and facing each other, legs tangled together and laughter spilling into each other’s lips in between kisses.

“Well,” Beth murmured finally, the words ghosting over his lips in a husky tone that really just made his hands feel even more drawn to her skin, “You know what this means.” 

“Mm...” He dropped a line of kisses over her shoulder, moving inch by inch until he’d created a path back to her neck. “What?” 

“Means you get to make love to me twice, tonight, Daryl Dixon.” 

_Well fuck._

Something shifted again at her words. The heat in her eyes seemed deeper and even more filled with need, and he knew it was matched in his own hot gaze. His hands slid slower down her side, dipping with her waist and gliding over the swell of her hips. Gently but surely, he guided her onto her back again and shifted to his knees between her legs.

After hesitating only long enough to be sure that she was ready, Daryl curled his fingers into her panties and began to slowly tug them down over her hips. He knew his gaze must be something close to worshipful, and she deserved it. She was worthy of it, because she was the most beautiful thing he’d seen in his life. She had _always_ been, from the first day he’d seen her on the porch of that farm, all pale skin and hair like gold, looking like one of those perfect girls he used to see sometimes from afar; sweet, innocent, untouchable for the likes of him.

But Beth wasn’t untouchable, not for him. She wasn’t innocent either, nor fragile, nor naive, not anymore. She had scars just as he did, and they’d only made her stronger. She was fire and strength and determination, she was stubborn, she was spark and sass and spitfire. She was moonshine just as much as she was sunshine; creating heat low in his belly and filling his veins just as much as she shone it on every inch of him like rays of hope and happiness.

She was his girl. His partner. The one that belonged at his side like no one ever had before, and no one else ever would. 

She was Beth.

Her hands brushed down his sides now to find the waistband of his briefs too, and slowly tug them down. He didn’t hold back his low groan when she freed him from their confines and he felt himself pressed against her with nothing between them.

Well, almost nothing. As soon as he had kicked the briefs off and settled between her legs, he reached for the condom she was offering up. Neither of them could seem to stop touching each other. Her hands brushed up and down over his broad shoulders as he fumbled with the foil, distracted by the warmth of her beneath him and the softness of her hands against his skin.

Eventually he got it open, and somehow he managed to focus enough to reach between them and roll it on over his hard length before he was settling against her one more. They fit together perfectly, even like this. Her leg curled loosely around him, his length pressed against her between her thighs where she was so warm and slick for him already, his chest hovering over hers just close enough so that he could feel her breasts grazing his skin.

Daryl felt intensely aware that everything they’d gone through together had brought them to this moment. The first glimpse of her standing there in front of that farmhouse, the slide of her arms around him as he stood in her cell, her body at his side as they ran desperately away from the prison, every single night spent watching her, doing his damnedest to keep her safe even as he began to realize just how strong she really was, that hazy fiery moonshine night...

When he looked down at her now, the candlelight flickered across her face and brought him back again to that other night so long ago, when he’d finally become _aware_ that something had begun between them. That something between them had changed and that maybe whatever it was, it could be _good_. 

His forehead rested against his for a moment, as he murmured close to her lips, “I’m glad you changed my mind, Beth.” 

“Yeah?” 

“Yeah.” His lips brushed against hers as he gently, slowly lined himself up between her slick folds. “Because you’re right. There is good in this world. And you’re the best of it. You’re the best good there is.” 

And when he began to press into her, just an inch at first but enough to feel the first hint of her tight perfect heat, she breathed out against his lips in a sigh, “ _Oh_.” 

Daryl just smiled, and when her fingers curled into his back and he slowly eased another inch of his length into her, he couldn’t resist exhaling as he looked into her eyes, “I love you, too.” 

He could read her just as well as she could him, after all. 

He’d seen the love in her eyes and he still saw it now, mingled with pleasure and awe, and just a faint, faint hint of pain as he began to stretch her open for the first time. The last thing he wanted was for her to feel any pain, and so he took his time. This much, he knew how to do. 

(Awkward as it had been for him, a man who never talked about _anything_ with anyone, a few days ago he’d had a discussion with Carol- well, she talked, he mostly just grunted in between rubbing at his burning ears- about how to make this as good for her as possible. She’d been kind, and she hadn’t teased him, and he was glad for that now, because it meant that again, he could give Beth as perfect a time as possible.)

Daryl knew to go slow, to take his time and allow her to adjust to his thickness and his length. He knew to take it inch by inch, to stop when she tensed and to distract her with kisses and caresses until she relaxed again. That part was easy because he didn’t think he could have stopped kissing and touching her anyway. He needed the taste of her on his tongue, needed the warmth and silk of her skin beneath his rough palms, especially when it made her arch up for him and helped him to slowly sink deeper into her. 

They were going so slowly and gently, that it almost surprised him when he realized he was seated firmly within her. It _definitely_ surprised him when she began to whimper all full of need, or when her little hips began to gently rock up and slowly circle, or when she parted her lips and panted, “ _Please_.”

He could never say no to her. 

Their rhythm was slow at first and occasionally stuttering, but like everything between them, they slowly came together and found themselves. Found each other, again. Her hips would arch up smoothly as his pressed down, and the slow slide of his length inside of her had him dizzy with desire. The sounds she made were the most beautiful things he’d ever heard in his life. She was all gasps and panted moans, but the best was when he’d slide in at just the right angle and she’d breathe out instead, “ _Daryl_...” 

It was almost too good, and it caught up to him far faster than he’d expected it too. He wanted to hold back, wanted to wait, wanted desperately to bring her over the edge first. But her skin was so warm and she was so tight and perfect, and she kept curving up her back until her breasts would sway with each thrust and brush against his chest, and he could barely hold himself back from growling as his mouth worshiped over her skin, so how was he supposed to hold back from going over the edge?

Lord, did he try. He held on as long as he could, until her lips found his ear and she whispered so sweetly, “Please, Daryl. Let go. For _me_.”

Anything for her. Anything. 

He came with her name on his lips, his hips stuttering as he came undone. It was so intense that he had to bury his face in the crook of her neck and drag in deep breaths until the trembling of his body slowed.

When the trembling slowed and the pleasurable haze began to ease back, a faint tinge of guilt came to fill it’s place, and even as her hands smoothed over his back, he breathed out in a sigh, “Sorry.” 

“For what?” But before he could answer, she was shaking her head. “Don’t apologize. Not for that, not ever.” Her lips pressed to his cheek, and with her mouth by his ear she murmured, “Firstly because most girls don’t usually come, their first time. But also-” She grazed her lips over the shell of his ear and surprised him by gently arching up beneath him as she murmured, “-because there’s no rule that says... you know... that you can’t still make me come for you, Daryl.”

He’d thought that was a revelation, but no. The true revelation was seeing her splayed out beneath him, the flush on her cheeks spreading down her neck to her chest, her legs opening wide for him as she guided his hands between her legs and showed him how to touch her, how to tease her, until his fingers were slick with her and she was gasping and moaning and then keening softly for him. Until she was coming unraveled with his name falling from her lips like a benediction, like a prayer, trembling beneath him as she pulsed around his fingers and showed him heaven in her big blue eyes. 

Later when they put that second condom to use, he saw heaven again and this time even closer. He saw it when she began to tighten around him where he was deep inside her; it was in every line of her body as she strove to meet him, it was bright and shining in her eyes, and it was thick on her voice as she begged, “Please, oh _please_ Daryl, I _need_ -”

Anything. Anything, for her. He would give her the sun, the moon, the stars... and he would give her this, right now; her coming apart with him deep inside of her, his name spilling from her lips as he looked deep into those beautiful eyes and murmured to the same rhythm of her throbbing around him, “ _I love you_ , Beth.” 

A few minutes later, when his hips stuttered for the second time that night and all he could do was groan, her fingers curled into his back and her lips found his ear as she whispered, “ _I love you, too, Daryl Dixon._ ”

And it was good. It was perfect. It was _everything_.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, I hope that was worth the wait it took them to get there! At one point I did briefly consider ending She's Breathing here, but there's a little bit more to cover, and that will be in the next four remaining chapters. (Don't worry too much, I am already slowly beginning to plan out the sequel or "next season" of this fic, okay?) I will try to have the next update posted tomorrow, but it may not be until Monday.
> 
> Also I just wanted to thank you all for the comments you leave on my fic every day. I really appreciate how much you all seem to love and adore this fic, and it makes me proud to write it. As much as I know that it's a compliment, it would genuinely be helpful to me to maybe not get quite so many comments asking when the next update will be, or being upset when it hasn't posted. I really don't want to sound ungrateful because I am so, so grateful to you all, and I honestly believe you all intend it as a compliment (and a large part of me takes those comments as such), but sometimes when I'm anxious about getting the writing done, it only makes it more stressful for me. If you're wondering when an update will be up and it's been longer than normal, feel free to go check my tumblr ([burningupasun](http://burningupasun.tumblr.com)) because I often post about my writing woes or updates there. But really, thank you all SO MUCH for the love you leave on ths fic!
> 
> And on that note, if you're looking for something a bit steamier and more confident than the love scenes above, please check out the one-shot I posted yesterday. It's called [Just Like Heaven](http://archiveofourown.org/works/3098024), and it's a smutty AU where Daryl is a struggling artist and Beth becomes his new muse. Thanks!


	27. You're My Home

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Beth can't help wondering if everyone can tell what she and Daryl did. It doesn't help that he keeps looking at her like _that_.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a fun, light-hearted chapter, though there is some very important dialogue in there, I promise! Also, keeping with the mature rating for the ending scene! Enjoy.

Beth was convinced that somehow, everyone knew what she and Daryl had done. It was silly, really. One of those little things left over from when the world had been different, lighter, when the only things on her mind had been a sleepover with her friends or a homework assignment due the next day. Back when she’d been convinced that every time she kissed Jimmy or even _thought_ about doing more, her Daddy could see it on her.

Rationally she knew it was silly. It wasn’t like it was _true_ what her pastor said way back when she was a kid, that you could see sin like that on someone’s face. (Even if she did think what she’d done with Daryl was sinful, which it _so_ wasn’t.) See, Beth knew it wasn’t true, because Daddy hadn’t seen it on _Maggie’s_ face after _she’d_ had her first time. She knew he hadn’t, cause Maggie had told her (twice, technically, because the first time she’d freaked out and tossed her pills in the pond and then later after she’d calmed down, she’d wanted to hear more of the details) and then after, she’d watched her Daddy all day just to see if he could tell, and he hadn’t acted any different.

(And okay, so _maybe_ she had also paid close attention at church the next weekend, just to make sure, and she was _definitely_ sure the pastor hadn’t been able to tell, either.) 

So she’d known, technically since she was about 13, that people couldn’t tell when you had sex; they couldn’t see it on you or anything. But she still wondered. She wondered if they could see that she was walking just slightly different the next day. She wondered if they noticed that she blushed whenever one of them looked at her. She definitely wondered if they saw how she and Daryl kept smiling at each other, or how they were sticking even closer than before, or how sometimes when she’d stand next to him, his fingers would find the dip of her waist and brush up under her shirt and she’d hum and tip her head onto his shoulder and nuzzle her nose against him and remember how his hands had felt sliding up over her bare skin.

 _Then_ of course, she started wondering if all her wondering was just making it even more obvious because she just kept flushing and smiling and really, if she kept that up, someone was _definitely_ going to notice.

Daryl had. Not that she’d had sex, obviously he was well aware of that since he’d been there for it. But he could tell that she was thinking about it. She knew he could because of the way his eyes kept lingering on her, the way he’d sort of tip his head down a bit and then peer up at her from under a fringe of hair, and his eyes would be all dark and knowing, and a faint smirk would just tug a little at his lips and _lord_ , was it distracting every time he looked at her like that. 

When she looked away from him and bit back a little giggle for what had to be the tenth time already that day (and it couldn’t even be far past noon), Beth decided she needed a little cool air to calm her down. Catching sight of Maggie on watch outside by the bridge, Beth headed in her direction; though not, of course, without brushing past Daryl and running her fingers down his arm (what counted as a public kiss by their standards) and giving him a soft smile as she told him where she’d be and that maybe he could come out in a little bit and they could see if there was anything nearby to hunt for dinner. 

Leaving him behind her (with a backwards glance she just couldn’t resist), Beth made her way outside and over to the bridge, where Maggie flashed her a welcoming smile. Their relationship was still somewhat fraught with tension; after all, Beth couldn’t quite forget what felt like Maggie’s abandonment of her, and maybe she never fully would. But at the same time she was growing more comfortable with her sister each day, and she’d found that she was starting to feel closer to her again, especially since the way Maggie had backed her up in the forest against those Hunters.

Beth stayed quiet for a moment, just hopping up on a large rock near the side of the bridge and sitting cross-legged on top of it. She braced her hands on the rock behind her and stared up into the blue sky, blinking her eyes briefly before they adjusted to the sunlight. “S’nice day,” she said after a moment. It was random and kind of obvious, and she was pretty sure Maggie would know that.

Sure enough, when she glanced over at her sister, there was a wry twist to her lips and amusement in her voice as she replied, “Yeah, I guess it is.” Like the silly girl she felt like, Beth ducked her head and blushed, still feeling the weight of Maggie’s gaze on her until her sister asked, “Everything okay, Beth?” 

“Oh! Oh, yeah... Everything is great, honest. Everything is good. Like _really_ good.” She looked up at Maggie and blushed again, just knowing there was a big happy grin on her lips. She just wished she wasn’t so _torn_. There was a part of her (the part that had once been a giggling teenager curled up on Maggie’s bed, telling her about her first kiss) that wanted to share what had happened with Maggie. But at the same time, it felt like such a private thing; the same way everything with Daryl was so very private. Not only because _he_ was a private sort of person, but she felt like she was when it came to him, too. Everything between them was so intimate and personal that it felt wrong to share too much of it with others.

As she blinked up at Maggie who was still just raising an eyebrow at her, Beth wondered if she could just find a compromise. Some sort of in between, where she could have that moment with Maggie, but not tell her too much; ‘cause the thing was, she really wanted to have that moment with Maggie. She wanted to be able to share with her again, to bond with her, especially over the kind of things they would have bonded over back in the day before the world got so much darker. 

So Beth cleared her throat and looked down, picking at her jeans as she asked as casually as she could manage, “You remember, um, a few days ago, when I asked you if I could have a condom?” 

“ _Beth_...” Judging by Maggie’s voice, that hadn’t been so subtle a start as she’d planned. At least when she looked up, Maggie just seemed curious more than upset; after all, she’d had her chance to be upset when Beth had _asked_ for the condom. (For the record, Maggie had actually been really good about it. She’d just made Beth promise to always be careful, and to never force herself to do anything she wasn’t ready for, and that had been it.) 

It was the faint smile on Maggie’s lips that coaxed another giggle from Beth’s, and suddenly she was just nodding up at her, knowing that Maggie would get what she meant exactly.

The moment Maggie grinned down at her, Beth felt her worry about what to say ease away, though her cheeks were probably still bright pink. Especially when Maggie nudged her lightly and they both just laughed together, any tension instantly easing.

A few moments after their laughter had trailed off, Maggie asked, “So... it was good? I mean, I really don’t need too many details. As long as you’re happy though, I’m happy, Beth.” 

“It was good.” Beth said it without hesitating, another happy smile curving up her lips. “It was _really_ good. I mean, like, _really_ good.”

Then she was giggling again, face in her hands, and there was just something about the moment that was so perfect. Maybe it was how happy she was, or maybe it was also that Maggie was there laughing with her, face upturned to the sun, the two of them finally getting a moment- however brief- away from all the tension and pain to just be _sisters_.

When the laughter eased off again and Beth had caught her breath, she exhaled in a sigh and added, “He just makes me so happy, Maggie. He really does, and I know you weren’t sure at first, and I know it probably _still_ seems weird to people, but he just makes me so _happy_. And I think I make him happy, too, which is really all I could ask for, you know?”

Maggie studied her face for a moment before she smiled and slowly nodded. “It doesn’t, you know. It doesn’t seem weird to people, at least not anymore. Maybe on paper it did, like when it was just a concept but I don’t think anyone could see you two together and think it was weird for more than a few moments.”

“Yeah?” Beth shaded her eyes against the sun and peered up at her sister, full of curiosity.

“Yeah. I mean, you just fit together. I never would have expected it, but once I finally saw it, I guess it just clicked. Or you two did. You just kind of clicked together.” She smiled a little wider. “Besides, I’ve seen the way he looks at you.”

Beth chuckled. “How’s that?”

“Like you’re the sun.” Maggie shook her head when Beth opened her mouth to reply, and went on instead, “No, honestly. It’s like... like after winter, when it’s been cold forever and it seems like it’s always dark and dim out, you know? But then that first warm day of spring comes and the sun is high in the sky, those days we used to grab our boots and go running out through the fields, you remember? It’s like that. He looks at you like you’re one of those days.” 

Whatever she’d expected Maggie to say, it hadn’t been anything quite so eloquent as that. All Beth could do was breathe out a surprised, “ _Maggie_.” 

“Oh, don’t look at me like that. You aren’t the only romantic in the family, Beth. I got some of that, too.” She chuckled. “Especially since Glenn.” 

The teasing childish tone came out of her before Beth could help it, “ _Ooooooh, Glennnn_!” For a moment it was like they _were_ back on the farm, sun warm overheard and the scent of hay in her nose as she and Maggie lay back on the grass and teased each other about boys. Mostly Maggie had always been the one with the stories, but she’d always told Beth that one day, she’d understand; one day she’d know what it was like to get all flustered and giggly over a guy.

She finally did, though back then she never would have expected it would be over someone like Daryl. Now, she couldn’t imagine it being over anyone else. 

“You know...” Beth hesitated only a moment and then giggled again. “When I was like, 11 or 12, I used to believe Pastor Jacobs was right, when he said people could just _tell_ if you’d done something sinful, like stolen something, or kissed a boy, or you know, _had sex_.” 

“ _Beth!_ ” Maggie was laughing again, this time propping her hand against one of the columns at the end of the bridge and holding onto it as she bent over.

“What? I did!” She grinned. “You know why I stopped? Cause _you_ came back from college and told me you’d started having sex, and I realize Daddy couldn’t tell!” She pressed her lips shut, putting on her best wide-eyed but solemn face as she added, “I did wait till next week at church though, you know, just to be sure. I think you’ll be glad to know Father Jacobs had _no_ idea.”

Maggie was laughed so hard now she was shaking trying to keep it in. Eventually she ended up sitting against the same rock that Beth was, and Beth didn’t even mind when their arms brushed together. It felt nice. It felt like _home_ , even if it was just a moment. 

“I just keep thinking about that today,” Beth said with a little smile, nudging Maggie lightly with her arm. Maggie seemed content with their closeness, and Beth appreciated that she didn’t try to get any closer. “You know, wondering if people can tell somehow. Not because I _sinned_ , cause I don’t believe anything like that could be a sin. Just because I can’t stop smiling and blushing and he keeps _looking_ at me, you know?”

“Like he knows _exactly_ what you’re thinking?” 

“Yeah. Does Glenn do that to you?”

“No.” Maggie laughed. “I do that to him, _all_ the time. It’s hysterical!” 

“Mags!” The name just bubbled out of her, the first time she’d used it in what felt like forever. Neither of them commented on it, at least not out loud, but Beth did notice the smile on Maggie’s face was softer and warmer, and for her part Beth found herself briefly resting her head on her sister’s shoulder. It was only for a moment before she was sitting up again, but it was something. 

After a moment, Maggie chuckled more softly and replied, “Just, you know, do what Glenn and I do sometimes. Take some time to yourselves, when you can. It’s hard, everyone all stuck together the way we are, but you can find ways. And it helps, you know, keeps you from _always_ being all googly eyed at each other.” She snorted. “There’s something I never thought I’d be able to imagine; Daryl all googly eyed.” 

Beth nibbled on her lower lip even as a smile crossed her lips again. Softly, she admitted, “He’s actually a bit of a romantic, you know. I mean I never would have expected it either, back when we first met him, but he is.” 

The way Maggie looked at her, Beth could tell she was curious, but still her sister didn’t push. If Maggie _had_ pushed, Beth would have just closed up and changed the conversation, but she didn’t, and that made Beth a little more inclined to share with her. Not really about last night, though. That was so recent and so personal and so _precious_ , and for now she just kind of wanted to keep it all close inside of her, nice and warm and tucked away right against her heart where she could remember it whenever she wanted to.

She still wanted to share something, though, which was had her saying, “Once, when it was just the two of us after the prison-” She paused long enough for Maggie to nod; of course she knew what Beth was referring to. It was a time they didn’t talk about much, because of the tension that went with it when it came to her and Maggie. But now she was softly smiling as she went on, “-I hurt my ankle by accident one day, and we found this place to stay in with all this food.” It’d been a trap, of course, but Maggie didn’t need to know that bit. “Anyway, he just set up this whole feast of food in the kitchen as a surprise and he was like _so excited_ to get me down the hallway to see it. You know, like excited by Daryl standards?” She laughed. “And I’m limping down the hallway and he just teases me I’m not going fast enough and scoops me up in his arms and _carries_ me in, just like that. Sat me down in my seat and everything.” 

“Really?” Maggie looked surprised, but she was grinning at the same time. “Daryl did that?”

“I know, right? But yeah. He did a lot of nice things for me when it was just the two of us. I don’t even think he actively thought of them as sweet things, he just had this way of... I dunno, of just figuring out that I needed something, and giving it to me. He’s always been that way, it’s just even better now that we’re... _together_ , or whatever.” 

Maggie was looking at her almost in awe for a moment before it softened into just a pleased smile. “I’m just so glad he makes you happy, Beth. That’s all I could want. That’s all Daddy would’ve wanted, too.” 

Reaching over slowly, Beth rested her hand over Maggie’s and gently squeezed it for a few seconds. “He does, Mags. He really, _really_ does. And I’m... I’m glad you think so.” 

They stayed like that for a few moments with their arms lightly resting, until the sound of the door to the lodge opening caught their attention. Beth and Maggie turned at the same time to see Daryl standing on the front porch with both their crossbows in his hand, his gaze searching for only a moment before settling immediately on Beth. 

“He coming out to check on you?” 

Beth smiled. “Nah. I told him to meet me in a bit, so we could go hunting together.” 

“Oh, right.” Maggie nudged her with a slow teasing smirk. “ _Hunting_ , hm? I see how it is.”

All Beth could do was laugh, which of course only got worse when she saw the way Daryl was furrowing his brow at her. Soon both her and Maggie were giggling together, shoulder to shoulder and trying to catch their breath.

“Oh lord,” Beth finally managed to gasp out. “I should go, I don’t want him thinkin’ we’re laughing _about_ him.” She climbed to her feet, but turned to flash Maggie a slow, happy smile. “Thank you, Mags.”

“You don’t have to thank me for anything, Beth.” Maggie rose to her feet with a smile of her own. 

“I know, but still. It was nice, just getting to talk to you again. I’ve... I’ve missed it.” The old Beth would have hugged her, and the new Beth was surprised to find she _wished_ she could, at least for a moment. But touch was still a bit too much for her with most people; at least, that level of touching. Still, when she reached out and squeezed her sister’s arm and saw the understanding in Maggie’s eyes, she knew that it was okay.

The smile lingered on Beth’s lips as she pulled away from her sister and strode towards Daryl. She could see the way his eyes lingered on her, the way his lips turned up in a faint smile to match the beaming one she was giving him, and for a moment she could see exactly what Maggie had meant when she’d said that Daryl looked at her like she was a warm spring day after a long winter. He looked at her like she was radiant; like he’d never seen anything better, like he never wanted to look away even if it blinded him. It wasn’t the first time she’d seen him look at her like this, no… the first time had been at the funeral home in the flickering candlelight. She had seen it then, but not it was just as if Maggie’s words in her mind were making her notice it all over again.

Her thoughts had her smile widening as she came to stand in front of him, just tipping her head up to look into his eyes for a long moment and just _smile_ at him. 

Daryl seemed content to drink her in like that for a moment, before he chuckled and asked lowly, “What?” 

“Nothin’,” Beth murmured, taking her crossbow from him in a careful way that allowed her fingers to graze over his in the process. “Just thinking about how happy you make me, that’s all.” 

“Oh yeah?” His arm lightly bumped hers as they began to walk side-by-side, instinctively falling into the same rhythm as they headed towards the woods behind the lodge. “Was that what you an’ your sister were laughin’ over?”

“Maaaybe….” Beth drew the word out in a playful, silly voice before flashing him another smile. As they neared the edge of the woods, Beth let her arm brush against his as she murmured, “We were just talking. It was nice, you know? I miss being like that with her. It felt like it used to ages ago, back before all this.”

Daryl was looking down at her, giving her what she knew was his interested expression despite him not saying anything in reply, so she easily went on, “We used to just talk together a lot, even though she was like six years older than me. When she’d come home from school on vacation, we’d curl up on her bed or mine and just chat all night about her classes and her friends and my friends and _boys_.” 

“Boys, hm?” There was a little quirk to his lips as he eyed her. “Is _that_ what you were talkin’ about, then?” 

“Not _boys_ ,” Beth replied with a playful little smile, leaning into him for a long moment and relishing the warmth of his arm against hers. “More like men, now. Or like a certain man who keeps eyeing me from across the room and making me blush constantly.”

She raised her eyebrow up at him, and though he teased her back with a joking, “I have no idea what you mean,” Beth didn’t fail to notice the way the tips of his ears went all red with embarrassment (or perhaps just with him being pleasantly flustered) as they reached the woods.

Watching him as they stepped into the cover of the forest, Beth could see the change that always came over Daryl here in the one physical place where he felt most at ease. She could watch the tension ease from his back, notice that faint furrow disappear from his brow, see him stand a little straighter as his steps instantly got more confident and quieter at the same time. 

She was also aware in some way that the same thing happened to her as well as she instantly became more at ease. Nerves and anxiety always seemed to disappear when she was in the forest. She wondered if a part of her had always been drawn to the peace and quiet of the woods, or if the time spent alone with just him had helped it develop. 

It seemed natural for the conversation to trail off for a bit, once they were in the woods. Despite Maggie’s teasing, they really had come out here to hunt, and that was a thing the two of them took very seriously. Daryl always had of course, but Beth had been serious about it from the moment he’d started teaching her; adjusting to the way he always got quiet when he was on a trail, the way his attention seemed to focus and hone. She would have taken it seriously simply because he did, but Beth had discovered that it felt _right_ , too. Hunting was something that felt like it deserved focus and respect.

For the moment they were simply making their way through the woods, looking for tracks they could follow, or maybe a game trail or a watering spot. Either way, it meant she didn’t need to be quite so quiet. With a content sigh, she tipped her head back to feel the sun shining through the crowns of the trees, and admitted softly, “I almost even hugged her. Almost, but I still felt... you know. I couldn’t, not quite. But it was something, anyway.” 

Beth grew quiet again, thinking about how tough it was still when it came to the anxiety and panic that seemed to have been riding her back ever since her ordeal at the hospital. Though she was getting somewhat better at dealing with it when it came to her family, even around them sometimes she frequently felt overwhelmed and like she just needed to _get away_. The thought of being surrounded not only by them but by strangers as well was one that crept into her mind sometimes, twining little tendrils of worry through her that seemed to linger in the recesses of her thoughts.

Of course, if there was anyone she felt comfortable speaking to about worrying things, it was the man striding through the woods beside her right now. “Daryl....” She looked up at him, nibbling at her lower lip for a moment before she ventured, “What do you think, about us all heading towards Richmond? I mean, what do you _really_ think, now?” 

She noticed the way he darted a glance at her with a brief frown and then looked back down at the ground they were scanning for tracks. They’d had this conversation before, sort of, when Noah had first brought the place up. No one in their group had much trust for “communities” anymore; or for people at all, for that matter. Beth and Daryl maybe even more-so than anyone else, because of what the last big ‘community’ of people had nearly cost them.

The only group or community that had ever been good to Beth was the one she considered family now. Everything since then had been danger and destruction, Woobury leading to the loss of her father and Grady Memorial, in a way, bringing with it the loss of a part of herself and nearly her own life, too.

“I dunno,” he said after a moment, with a characteristic shrug. “If it weren’t for Noah having lived there before, I dunno that I’d be for it at all. S’been a long time since we’ve found anyone worth trusting, outside of our group. Truth is, he’s been away a long time, too. Ain’t no tellin’ what Richmond is like anymore. But I reckon it’s worth the try, if it means we can be safe...” 

_Safe_. It was such a relative term these days, because what was safe? Safe to Beth used to mean walls, protection, people you could count on, _family_. So what was ‘safe’ when it was walls and people that made you feel _trapped_ instead? What was safety when the very idea of being stuck behind barriers made your breathing get a little shorter? 

“I wanna believe that Richmond could be good,” Beth said softly as she picked her way around a thorny bush. “You know I do.” She always wanted to believe in the good in people and places, even now. “The thing that worries me is... it’s not whether or not Richmond will be a good place. I think it could be. I know I trust Noah, anyway. What worries me though isn’t whether it’s a good place, but if it’ll be good for _me_.” 

She saw him frown, saw his brow furrow as if he were struggling for just a second to understand, and then the confusion slowly began to clear from his eyes as she went on, “Daryl, I can barely spend a few hours in a place with our _family_. How am I supposed to handle, you know... being behind walls, surrounded by strangers again?” She swallowed hard and risked another glance up at him, her voice small and unexpectedly a little afraid sounding as she asked, “What happens if I can’t fit in there? What if it’s too much, too overwhelming for me, then what? Because the group _needs_ a place like that, you know? Judith, and Carl, they need a place like that. What if everyone fits, but I... can’t?”

For almost a full minute, they walked in silence, nothing between them but the faint rustle of leaves in the breeze. It was the silence of Daryl thinking, searching for the right words to say, and Beth was more than okay waiting for him to find them. That was the thing with Daryl. He needed time to think, not because he was dumb by any means (far from it), but because sometimes he wasn’t used to expressing himself, so when it mattered e took his time to find the exact right words. All that meant was that whatever he had to say was far more important than it would have been if he’d just spit out something random and quick.

When he finally spoke, his voice was it’s usual low, rough drawl, “Thing is, if you don’t fit, than I ain’t gonna fit either.” 

“Daryl-”

“Nah, I mean it. I ain’t the type of man that fits in easily, you know that. I know you remember me, back on the farm. Someone said to me once,, when we were separated, that there ain’t nothin’ sadder than an outdoor cat who thinks he’s an indoor cat. He was wrong when he said it to me, but back _before_ , back on the farm and before that, that’s what I was. An outdoor cat trying to fit in with indoor cats, or whatever.” He looked down and shook his head with a little chuckle. “Maybe more like a wolf, or somethin’. Somethin’ wild, cause that’s what I was. Something just angry and feral, something that belonged out here more than anywhere near that nice home of yours or even the little camp we had.”

He trailed off for a long moment as Beth just walked silently beside him. She could remember him back then, the man he’d been. Covered in blood, walker ears hanging on a string around his neck, always off on his own when he wasn’t hunting for Sophia, lashing out when anyone even looked at him wrong. To her he had never been a wolf or a wild thing, though. Feral, yeah, but not wild. No, Daryl had been the cat that could have (and should have) had a home but got turned out on the street young and learned to survive. Only he had glimpsed enough of the warmth of family and home, albeit from a distance, to still crave it. He was an indoor cat _forced _outdoors, searching for the right home without realizing he was doing it. Without even knowing how to fit in at first, once he found it.__

__“Thing is, I ain’t like that anymore,” Daryl went on after a moment, “Not with our group, anyway. I dunno if I became more like them, or they became more like me or... hell, maybe it was both.” He shrugged. “Every one of us has gotten more feral I guess, since things went to shit. Or maybe it ain’t about, you know... Indoor cats and outdoor cats. Maybe it’s about _pack_ , instead. We’re a pack. A _family_. We fit together cause we learned how to. Cause we went through so much together. Few bonds thicker than that, I guess.” _ _

__Pack. _Family_. That was what they were, without a doubt. A family, the lot of them. Feral maybe, broken in some ways, but still more whole together than any of them would be on their own. _ _

__When she looked up at him with a nod, Daryl scrubbed his hand over his head and then went on, “Didn’t mean to ramble like that. What I meant to say, I fit with you all now, but I wonder too sometimes, if I’ll fit somewhere new. If any of us will. An’ yeah, that weighs on my mind. But it’s more than that.”_ _

__“Yeah?”_ _

__He nodded. “Yeah. Cause it’s not just knowing that if _you_ of all people can’t fit in somewhere, then I prob’ly don’t stand a chance either.” He turned to look into her eyes and said lowly but firmly, “It’s that if you don’t fit in somewhere, then I don’t wanna either.” _ _

__The simple, easy way he said that made Beth slow to a stop. It took him a moment or two to realize she wasn’t next to him anymore, and then Daryl slowed as well and turned to face her with a raised eyebrow. “What?”_ _

__“ _Daryl_...” There was something hushed about her voice, soft and warm and loving and a little awed, all at once, and she couldn’t keep the little smile from her lips. _ _

__“It’s just...” He seemed embarrassed, more likely by what he was saying than her reaction to it. She watched as he hunched his shoulders and scuffed his foot against the ground before he shrugged and added, “It’s like you said, before. I don’t need a place t’ be my home. You’re my home. _You’re_ the person I fit with most. Wherever you are, that’s where I wanna be. So if... if it doesn’t work out, if you don’t feel right there, then... then we’ll figure somethin’ out, okay? Together.” _ _

__He had been staring down at the ground as he spoke, darting little glances up at her from under a lanky fringe of hair. In the silence that fell after his words, Beth closed the gap between them in a few slow, silent steps. Her hand came up to cup his cheek, fingertips grazing over his skin as she tilted his face up so she could meet those eyes._ _

__“You are far too sweet to be a feral thing, Daryl Dixon.”_ _

__“I ain’t swe-”_ _

__“You are,” she said simply, “And I love you, too.”_ _

__Because that was what he’d been saying again, and Beth knew it right down to the marrow of her bones and the blood pulsing through her heart. She was his home, because he loved her. They would figure it out together, because he loved her-- because they loved _each other_. They were family and also so much more. They were everything to one another._ _

__That was what she felt surging in her veins as she reached down to lace her fingers through his free hand, and gently brushed her lips against his. “Okay?”_ _

__When his only reply was a slow nod, Beth smiled easily up at him. “Then we’ll figure it out together. I can’t lie, that makes me feel less anxious already.” Knowing she’d have him at her side, Beth had a feeling she could face anything, at the very least with less worry and struggle. When she was with Daryl, she was at ease. It was the same way she felt stepping out under the clear sky or into the woods, only better, because he was always with her, always right beside her._ _

__Moments like this were the best she felt, really, alone in the woods with Daryl at her side, both of them as completely comfortable as you could get in a world turned dark as theirs had. With their fingers still laced together, they turned to continue walking through the woods, only untangling their hands when Daryl finally spotted tracks through the brush up ahead._ _

__The shift within them was easy and natural. Instantly they both became more alert, their steps even quieter, their gazes intent and focused as they followed the tracks- _rabbit_ , Beth mouthed at Daryl, smiling faintly at his approving nod- and trailed them through the woods until they finally came upon what seemed to be a rabbit burrow. It was through Daryl’s silent pointing to tracks that Beth realized there was likely more than one somewhere inside the warren. _ _

__There was something about hunting that just got her blood pumping. Even crouched down the way they were, bows at the ready and waiting, Beth felt that faint adrenaline rushing through her veins. It was only fueled each time she looked up at Daryl and caught sight of his heated eyes staring right back at her. She was torn between watching him, and the burrow, gaze flickering back and forth as her breathing got a little bit sharper, especially when he got that damn knowing smirk on his lips. Lord that smirk just hit something inside of her. Something tight against her core and full of heat._ _

__Just when she thought she was gonna give up on the rabbits and maybe convince him to make _her_ his ‘prey’ instead, a furry head poked out of it’s hole, followed by another a short distance away. Instantly Beth’s focus shifted, intent, her and Daryl silently signaling and each choosing the rabbit closest to them. _ _

__Beth raised her crossbow slowly and silently. _Inhale, exhale, inhale..._ The rabbit came up a little bit bit more, it’s heart-lung zone right in sight, and on the exhale she eased her finger on the trigger and loosed the bolt. There was that same split second breathing-hitching moment of anticipation, followed by the flood of adrenaline and pride as her bolt found it’s home right where she’d aimed it. _ _

__The only thing that stopped her from letting out a squeal of delight was Daryl taking aim just a few feet away. Once her eyes settled on him, her own kill was forgotten. All she could see was the focus in his eyes, the tensing in his strong muscles, the complete calm that came over him as he confidently took the shot. She knew just from watching his eyes that he’d gotten his shot, but the truth was that the rabbits were abandoned the moment he rose to his feet and looked at her with that proud smile on her lips._ _

__She was moving towards him, partway there before she realized that he wasn’t standing still. They met halfway, bodies pressing hard together, bows dropped suddenly to their feet as her hands slid up his chest and his curved around to splay against her back. “ _Daryl_ -” She only had time to gasp out the name once against his lips and then his hands were sliding down to grip her thighs and lift her up into his arms._ _

__As she wrapped her legs around him she was reminded of a similar time in the woods, the euphoria of hunting down her first deer, the heat in his eyes so like the heat she saw there now. Only she knew for certain that this was different. The heat burned even deeper now, already boiling over inside of her and spilling out of her lips in a moan as Daryl pressed her back against the nearest tree. They were frantic, desperate for each other, all flushed with adrenaline and desire and aching need._ _

__Hands skittered across skin, gripping, caressing, clutching, pulling at clothes until somehow they managed to find the right paths to follow. His rough strong hands caught the waistband of her jeans, fumbling for only a moment before undoing her button and dragging down the zipper. He pulled away from her with a low growl of need, tugging down her jeans _and_ her panties in one go until they were dangling from one ankle. It could have been awkward, but nothing seemed capable of being awkward right now when he was looking at her like he wanted to devour her._ _

__Beth was in his arms again in a second, pinned back hard against the tree as she curled her legs around him and drew him close. Their lips seemed barely capable of parting even for a second from their heated, passionate kisses, all slick heat and tongue sliding against tongue, the faint nip of her teeth against his lower lip pulling a well-earned groan from Daryl’s lips as she found the buckle of his belt and swiftly undid it._ _

__There was no need for words, because their shared desire bound them together now; it was the heat that surrounded them, that burned between them, that flashed from mouth to mouth in their passionate kiss. Amid that frenetic need, Beth finally managed to get his pants undone enough for him to tug them down, the belt keeping them hanging low beneath his ass. She felt his length hard against her, urgent with need, and her slim fingers were already curling around it as she gasped her pleas and begged him with her darkened gaze._ _

__“ _Wait_ ,” he groaned out, hands fumbling in the pocket of his tugged-down jeans until he came up at last with another foil square. If he hadn’t been so quick to tear it open, Beth would have grabbed it from him and done it herself. She didn’t think she’d even needed anyone as badly as she needed him. _Always_ , but especially right now. She couldn’t even think straight with the haze of need in her mind, her heart beating out a rhythm of _Daryl, Daryl, please Daryl.__ _

__It only took a few moments for him to roll the condom on, and then there was no need to hold back. His hands gripped her hips, smoothing the rough pads of his thumbs over her soft skin as he lined himself up and slid into her. His face pressed to the crook of her neck as her lips pressed to his hair, both of them muffling their moans of pleasure as well as they could as their bodies strove to merge together._ _

__“ _Lord_ ,” she gasped out, whispering the words breathlessly against his hair even as it tickled across her nose and cheek. “Oh _Daryl_...” _ _

__He felt like heaven made real, heaven made flesh and heat and slick hardness and she loved him more than she’d thought it was possible to ever love another person. It welled up within her as he held her close, as he pressed her back into the tree with each rough thrust of his hips. Her legs were tangled around him, her hands curling hard into the back his vest as if for dear life; splayed, though she didn’t know it, right against those angel wings like they were gonna bring her even close to heaven._ _

__It was rough and _feral_ and yet it was also still filled with love. For every rough thrust there was the gentle caress of his hand over her hip, for every hard slam of her back or ass against the tree, there was the easing of his lips over hers and the slow slide of his tongue across her own._ _

__Given how frantic they were, it was no surprise how quickly the tension began to build, coiling low in her belly as she bit back moans or stifled them against his lips. Only once did she beg, “ _Daryl_!” Just once, because in an instant he knew what she needed. There was no more need to beg when he was slipping his hand between them, no need plead when his thumb was grazing her throbbing clit and then pressing against it, the stuttering rhythm soon steadying as he rubbed perfect circles over that sensitive bundle of nerves. _ _

__Then his forehead rested against hers and their eyes met, and Beth was a goner all over again. She was lost in the warmth of his eyes and the _love_ and desire and need shining in them, and that was all it took. Her back arched like a bow for him and he plucked her like a taut string, helping her to come undone with an exhale of his name against his lips and a frantic, throbbing pulse around his hard length where he was seated so deeply inside of her._ _

__One, two, three more thrusts and she felt his whole body tense too, his fingers curling hard into her hips as he bit down to stifle a guttural moan that she still felt vibrating through their pressed-together chests as he twitched within her and found his release._ _

__Sweaty and panting they clung to each other, neither desiring at all to move despite Beth’s back being sore, or both of them still being half-exposed in the middle of the woods. “So,” she exhaled after a long moment, her voice a bit ragged. “That what you meant by _feral_ , before?”_ _

__“No.” He kissed softly down the line of her jaw to brush his lips over hers gently, before he pulled back just enough to look down into her eyes. “That’s what I meant when I said you’re the person I fit with most.” He smiled, soft and warm and perfect. “That’s what I meant by _together_.” _ _

__Then, as he hitched her up in his arms and pulled her from the tree to set her down gently on her feet, Daryl pressed his lips sweetly to her forehead and teasingly added, “Although I do think you’ve got a bit of that wild thing in you, girl.”_ _

__“Yeah. And you like it.”_ _

__“Nah.” His thumb grazed her lower lip, his blue eyes holding hers as he murmured in a husky voice, “I like _you_. Sweet and gentle, or rough and wild. All of it.” _ _

__Beth just smiled, because there was nothing else she’d rather do when she was looking at him. The words came as easy to her lips as her understanding of him as she murmured back, “I love you too, Daryl Dixon.”_ _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you liked that! I really enjoyed writing a happier Beth, especially in the Maggie scene. (I like to think of this side of Beth as the same side that was all "But Daryl, you said there was a DOG!", haha.) Anyway, I will do my best to update by Wednesday. I am back at work now after a long vacation, so I may be a bit exhausted as I try to re-adjust.
> 
> That said, if you're looking for more to read and don't subscribe to me for notifications, please check out my latest fic, [Chasing Cars](http://archiveofourown.org/works/3110222/chapters/6738368). It's a Season 4 AU where Daryl catches up with the car that took Beth, and rescues her, and yes it's going to be a chapter fic! Thanks as always for all your comments and love!


	28. Regression

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The group reaches Richmond and Daryl struggles to deal with seeing Beth regress in front of his eyes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I apologize again for the delay in posting this chapter. As I mentioned before, I went back to work after almost two weeks off, and I am still trying to adjust back to an earlier sleep schedule, not to mention having far too much work to catch up on. This chapter was a big struggle but with some help I got through it, and on the plus side, the final two chapters are very firmly in my mind now! 
> 
> Special thanks to sparks-of-greene (on tumblr) for being my beta for this chapter and helping me figure it all out! <33 (Insert: did you every know that you're my hero gif here.)

Daryl stood on the lawn outside a small grey house, waiting for Beth. The home was one of a row of townhouses all fitted together wall to wall in a long row of grey siding and warm brick, part of the gated community that had been turned into the Richmond Community. This one had a little brick walkway leading out to a paved road that led down to the center of the small housing complex. Despite the fact that the grass and bushes and flowers that dotted the lawn were weedy and overgrown, and that here and there the complex was marked by damage that couldn’t be repaired, it was still every inch the sort of place Daryl never would have felt comfortable in before. The truth was that something about it still bothered him now.

It wasn’t just that he felt out of place in surroundings like this; a rough redneck in a near-pristine neighborhood that he figured had once been considered some kind of suburban dream. He was used to feeling out of place, after all, but it was more than just the fact that in the old days he’d have had the cops called on him just for _standing_ in a place like this. There was also a sense of unease that seemed to linger; prickling low at the back of his neck and settling low in his gut. It had begun as a faint prickle the first day they had arrived here and been welcomed inside, or at least, given as much welcome as a rough looking group such as theirs could ever have expected. They were on there fourth day here now and he’d been on edge the entire time, feeling more uncomfortable, uneasy, and unsure as each hour ticked by.

The worst part of that unease came in who it was tied to; he wasn’t uneasy about himself here, didn’t have warning bells about walkers or straight-up dangerous people. No, he was uneasy about Beth, or rather he was uneasy _for_ her. 

Somehow, being worried for her made his focus even sharper, searing every moment of the past few days into his mind and making them easier for him to look back on each time he began to turn the thoughts over in his head again.

***

The first day had started out pretty much like any other day. He’d been on early morning watch duty, as the group camped for the night at a house just outside of Roanoke, which they’d made a wide berth around in the cars they’d picked up after leaving the Shenandoah National Forest a day or so earlier. 

He’d been sitting on the back porch, watching the law and the small wooded area behind the house, and thinking about how it seemed like they hadn’t really stopped moving since the prison had fallen. Whether they were fleeing something or heading towards something else it didn’t really matter; since the prison they’d never really stopped. It wasn’t a new sensation for Daryl by far; in fact, it was pretty similar to how his life had been before the walkers. Him and Merle, always wandering through Georgia, never staying anywhere longer than they needed.

There were differences now though, ones that went beyond the fact that he’d finally gotten out of Georgia. He had a family with him for one; always around him and protecting each other the same way he protected Beth. She was the biggest difference of all. Though Merle had often been with him, it had never really been a partnership in the same way. Merle lead and Daryl followed, and sure sometimes his brother had his back, but there were just as many times where Merle would just vanish and reappear months later. With Beth it was nothing like that. They were equals, you and me against the world, _partners_. It was rare for her to not be at his side; whether they were leading the group, or preparing camp at night, eating meals, or sleeping. They gravitated to each other naturally because that was exactly what it was. _Natural_.

They even maintained a routine of sorts that he came to look forward to every evening. Beth would come and curl up with him at the fringes of the group. Some nights they’d work through his book again together. Other nights when she was having one of her bad days he would do what he could to ease her anxiety. Most nights they just talked; telling stories about their past, thoughts about the day, and worries about what might be to come. 

Even now Daryl found himself looking up at the rising sun and wishing he could skip ahead to when it was nighttime again, and he was finding his spot at her side wherever she’d chosen to sleep for the night.

When he heard footsteps behind him, Daryl’s first thought was that it’d be Beth. She always had this way of knowing when he needed her or when he was thinking about her. To be fair they were barely separated as it was, except for occasional times like this morning, when he was on watch and Judith was being that particular sort of fussy that only Beth seemed capable of conquering. When he turned to look over his shoulder though, it was Glenn he saw behind him.

“Oh.” He frowned and then turned back to watch the yard, feeling disappointed. Not that he didn’t _like_ Glenn, of course he did. He’d just been hoping maybe it was Beth. Sometimes she’d bring Judith with her when he was on watch, and he’d get to watch her play with Lil’ Asskicker or sing her to sleep with that soft sweet voice. 

“Expecting someone else?” Daryl shrugged at Glenn’s words as the man came to sit beside him on the low wooden fence. Glenn reached out to offer him a can of what looked like beans, which Daryl took with a faint hum of thanks. As he dug carefully into the can, he could just see the faint hint of a smile on Glenn’s lips when the man went on, “What, were you hoping Beth’d come asking for another _hunting trip_? I mean you guys _do_ seem to go on a _lot_ of them lately.” 

He knew that teasing tone. He’d taken a similar one with Glenn himself, ages ago when he and Maggie had first started hooking up and they’d spent all their damn times locked away up in that watch tower. It was the memory of that which had him only giving Glenn a mildly annoyed look rather than a full-on glare as he looked up from his food.

“Hey now,” Glenn held his hands up defensively, one holding a fork and the other clutching his own can as he smiled at Daryl. “I’m just teasing you. I’ve been waiting ages for my chance to finally come.” He lowered his hands again and dug his fork back into his food as his smile turned to a grin and he teased, “Come on, don’t give me that glare. I mean, I know I just don’t have as pretty a smile as Beth does, but Maggie seems to think it’s alright. See?”

He couldn’t help but snort at Glenn’s silliness. There’d been a time when the guy had annoyed the heck out of him, but to be fair pretty much _everyone_ had annoyed him back then. He’d grown to like the younger man’s company, even his ability to lighten the mood whether on purpose or just by being his somewhat-awkward self. 

After a moment Daryl looked back to the woods and a faint hint of a smile appeared at the edge of his lips. “At least I ain’t never come stumblin’ out of the woods pullin’ up my pants.” 

Glenn swallowed and laughed at that, sticking his fork into his can before leaning in to joke, “ _Yet_. Just you wait, it’ll happen and when it does, I’ll be there to make sure you never hear the end of it.” 

Daryl just shook his head. Normally he wasn’t much for talk like this. He’d had so many years of listening to Merle go on and on about all the chicks he’d banged in far too much detail. It had always been awkward, and even more so when Merle tried to get Daryl to do the same, not knowing his baby brother had faked most of the times Merle had seen him with a woman. 

It was different with Glenn, though. It was teasing but friendly. There was no crudeness, no jabs at his perceived masculinity, and definitely no overly-detailed descriptions that Daryl could have lived his whole life without needing to hear. 

After his little teasing, Glenn fell into silence beside him. It lingered for a few moments, the two of them just working at their breakfast side by side until Glenn spoke up again. This time his voice was softer as he added, “They are something though, aren’t they?” When Daryl’s only response was a raised eyebrow, Glenn added, “Our Greene girls.”

_They’re something, aren’t they?_ Well, he wasn’t sure what he had to say about Maggie. His feelings about her were still complicated, though in the end it was Beth’s feelings about her sister that really counted. Daryl didn’t think either of them would ever forget Maggie’s abandonment, but before that he’d had a good amount of respect for the woman. She was strong, but then again so was Beth. It seemed that all of the members of the Greene family he’d met had a strength to them that showed in different ways, and he’d always appreciated Maggie’s strength.

Beth, though. Beth was definitely _something_.

Unexpectedly- or perhaps thanks to Glenn’s teasing- Daryl’s mind flashed back to the lodge and that day when a successful hunt had turned into a frantic rutting against a tree. Daryl had never done anything like that in his life. He never would have thought he’d want to do something like that, let alone that _Beth_ would. 

There’d been times in the past where he’d forget how complex a person she was; when he’d look at her and see the soft, sweet, innocent farm girl still. Now on the rare occasions that image flashed into his mind, he’d remember her pinned against the tree with her head tipped back in a moan and the curve of her neck exposed in offering as he’d gripped her hips hard and thrust into her again and again. 

At one time, Daryl had been the kind of person who’d thought it was easy to fit people into neat categories and boxes. He’d since learned otherwise, but that was especially true with Beth. She was constantly showing him new sides of herself, constantly making him expand the way he saw her. The truth was he loved that about her. Rather than frighten him, her complexities only made her more appealing to him; more _real_. She was sweet but strong, full of hope even though she had darkness now in her past, intelligent and clever and quick to learn new things, just as capable of giving advice as she was a listening ear. She was flawed but perfect to him at the same time.

Beth was the most _real_ person he’d ever met. 

It occurred to him suddenly that he’d just been sitting there with his fork in mid-air, staring off into the woods not saying a word while Glenn stared at him with what he was pretty sure was a shit-eating sort of grin.

“Yeah,” Daryl said roughly after that very long pause, “They’re definitely something.” 

“Without a doubt.” Glenn fell silent, but only for a moment again before he was chuckling. “Okay, but does Beth do that thing where she just kinda comes out of nowhere and manages to bowl you over with whatever she’s saying, and you’re just kinda standing there blinking at her like an idiot? Cause Maggie is _really_ good at that.” 

This time Daryl really did smile. “Worse.” He looked down at his food but the smile stayed faintly on his lips as he added, “She sneaks up on you when she does it. All quiet and subtle and then before y’ even know what hit ya she’s got you spun around an’ so dazed you can’t tell your ass from your elbow.” 

Glenn tipped his head back in a laugh. “Yeah, I can see that. But still.” His hands settled on his knees and he exhaled in a slow sigh. “They’re worth it.” 

Though his only reply was an ‘mm’, Daryl couldn’t help but think: _Damn straight._

Unexpectedly Glenn cleared his throat and from the corner of his eye, Daryl saw the man puff up a bit and straighten his shoulders. “But just so you know, Beth is like a little sister to me and-”

Daryl’s head turned slowly, eyes narrowed and one eyebrow raised, until Glenn broke off in a stammer and stopped. “I... can’t really pull off that whole conversation with you, can I?” 

“Not at all.” With a faint smirk, Daryl turned to look back into the woods. His shoulder lifted in a shrug as he said, “’sides, you don’t have to. Even if I would hurt Beth- an’ I _never_ would- she can take care of herself. She’d lay into me way before you ever could.” 

Glenn was silent for a few seconds and then burst out laughing. “She would. You’d totally be screwed.” 

“Yeah,” Daryl said with another pointed look. “Says the guy who married _Maggie_. Just imagine what’d happen if you ever screwed up.”

“Shit.” Glenn’s eyes got wide and solemn. “She’d probably kill me. “

“If it helps-” Daryl stretched his legs in front of him for a moment, and flashed Glenn a little one-sided smirk as he dipped his fork into his can once more. As he came up with a forkful of beans, he finished, “-she’d probably keep you alive for days first, just to yell at you.” 

“Yep. I’m screwed.” But Glenn was smiling as he dug into his can again, like he was perfectly happy, and Daryl could feel the same sort of happiness inside himself. Cause they probably were both screwed, but it was the best kinda screwed he’d ever been-- and he didn’t mean that in a dirty way. He was screwed cause he’d fallen harder for Beth than he’d ever imagined he’d fall for a woman, and he wouldn’t change that for the world.

Because of that, he also knew that not only would he never hurt her, he would also do _anything_ at all to keep her safe, alive, and with him.

*** 

Later that same day, they’d been on the road again. He’d been driving the small, two-door coupe, with Beth in the passenger seat, Judith on her lap, and some of the group’s extra food and supplies in the back. All day, things had been pretty quiet, even when they stopped to rest or to work around road blockages. He’d understood why, though. They’d been pretty sure they’d reach Richmond that day, and the knowledge had hung over the group more and more the closer they got. 

For Daryl, it wasn’t exactly Richmond but the prison that had been on his mind for most of that day. Not for the bad memories that came with it like those of the fall, the loss of their family, the destruction wrought by the Governor. No, instead he’d remembered the time they had spent there in relative peace. He’d recalled group dinners, the garden full of fresh food, everyone’s cells slowly collecting more personal touches over time. He’d remembered the walls and the semi-safety of it all, the way he had slowly grown to think of it as almost a home; a place to come back to. It had seemed like just when he’d begun to get used to _having_ a steady place like that, he had lost it. They had never really stopped moving since, not for too long anyway. He had thought perhaps that cottage in the mountains of Georgia could have been something good but the world had taken that from them, too. 

He’d never been one to settle in one place for very long and yet in some ways he had found himself wishing lately that they could, especially when he thought about the prison. The prison hadn’t worked out in the end but in some ways he thought that had been their own fault; they hadn’t been prepared, they became complacent. The thing was, it could have worked. If they’d taken care of the Governor sooner, but also if they’d really worked to make it a safe place; walls, traps, protection. 

They could have made it a truly safe place. A place to stay. He understood, now, the appeal of a place to stay, a place to come home to, and because of that he understood the draw of Richmond and the promise of something much like that. And yet at the same time, that sense of unease lingered. It was a combination of things, really. His own unease with people, the conversation he’d had with Beth about fitting in, the worry that it would only prove to be like the other places they’d found; full of people worse than the walkers they’d walled themselves away from.

What it came down to in his mind was that even if Richmond was still there and willing to welcome them, it wouldn’t be their own. It wouldn’t be a home they had created, protections they had built with their own free hands, people they had chosen to allow both into their home and into their family. Instead they would be the ones allowed in. They would be strangers in a home they hadn’t touched, in a place they had no say in, no control over. 

Sometimes he looked around at his family, the rough and ragged band they were, and wondered if they could function under someone else’s control. Other times he looked at them and wondered if he would trust their safety to someone else; if they _could_ ever have that trust. 

He was used to worrying about trust, used to having doubts. What was new was having someone to share them with. Before, he’d have always kept his thoughts to himself and let them fester or brew. Now, he had Beth.

“Penny for your thoughts?’ At the sound of her voice, Daryl had looked over to see Beth smiling at him as she cradled Judith to her chest. “My Mama used to say that all the time. For awhile I thought it meant you had to put a penny into a jar or something every time you spent too long thinking about a thing. My piggy bank got _really_ full that year.” 

Her joking story had a smile on Daryl’s lips and he’d instantly felt a hint of tension ease away. There was just something about Beth that always seemed to ease his worries. It had to have been that whole partnership thing. With her at his side he was stronger, and he knew it. It made it easier to be at least a little more confident about whatever might come at him.   
Tapping his fingers against the steering wheel, he’d said after a moment, “Just thinkin’ about Richmond again. Sure everyone is.” 

“Me too,” Beth had replied honestly. He’d known she was worried, but yet again the confirmation made him feel better. Not because he _wanted_ her to be anxious, of course, but because it was good knowing he wasn’t the only one. 

“Just worries me, we ain’t really have any idea what we’re gettin’ into it. If it’s even there, still.”

“I know.” She’d reached over to rest her free hand on his thigh and he’d felt that familiar flush of warmth as well as just _rightness_. Her touch had been a soothing comfort that he’d not even fully realized he’d needed. “And if it is there, you’re worried it’ll be dangerous. Worried something will go wrong, or the people will be bad. Worried maybe we won’t fit, like I was saying before.” 

Beth sighed, pulling his worried gaze to her for a moment before he fixed it on the road and listened as she went on, “The way I figure it is... All we can do, really, is take the chance. My Daddy used to say that, you know? Everything is a risk these days. All we can do is make a decision, make a choice... take a chance, if we have to.” She squeezed his thigh again. “And we won’t be going in completely blind. We’ll be able to check it out first, from afar. We’ll be able to feel it out, and if anything goes bad, we’ll have our weapons. We’ll make it out, Daryl. Cause we’re strong. Not just you and me, but _all_ of us.” 

She had just grinned at him and really, all he could do was smile back, even as she teased, “People always underestimate us. They never know who they’re dealing with.” 

As he’d looked her over with a faint smile, she’d begun to softly sing again, her voice filling the small car. For a few minutes, his worries seemed to fade away. Instead, his mind was filled with memories of her beautiful voice; by the fire in the prison yard, her soft humming as they made camp at night just the two of them, sitting in front of that piano in the funeral home as he watched her practically in awe. 

Just like those times in the cab of the truck they’d driven briefly, she shifted as close to him as she could get, tipping her head against his arm as she held Judith and crooned softly into the still air, peace echoing in her words and wrapping around him. He had the scent of her in his nose and the warmth of her beside him, and as long as he could have that, he thought everything would be okay.

He _hoped_. 

It was so hard to be worried when his mind was filled with her sweet voice, but somewhere in there the unsure thoughts remained and her words repeated in a distant whisper. _They never know who they’re dealing with._

*** 

n retrospect, that ended up being the biggest problem in Richmond. They were used to being underestimated, to bad people thinking lightly of them and allowing to prove it all wrong. They’d never run into a situation where the opposite occurred. Not until Richmond. It had been late afternoon, nearing dinner time, when they finally neared what Noah informed them was the location of the community; a former gated housing complex whose wrought iron fences had been fortified over two years now, built up with whatever the slowly-growing group could find and put to use; plywood, borrowed chain-link fencing, metal siding, wooden and metal doors, solid boards... The list went on, and Daryl named them all mentally as he, Beth, Rick, and Michonne had scouted around the walled off area, listening and looking for any warning signs.

He’d known of course that the residents were aware of their presence. They’d had to have been, or their security would have really been rubbish. But no one had shouted at them, or gave any warnings, or even come near them until finally, Rick and Michonne had gone together to the front gate and been brought inside. Of course, Daryl had wanted to go but he’d known that if he went, Beth went with him, and he just couldn’t bring himself to risk that. He almost wished he could have, in retrospect, but at the same time he didn’t think it would have changed much.

The thing was, Richmond wasn’t a _bad_ place. It wasn’t the kind of place that felt creepy, like Woodbury, or a place that just straight up screamed freaky, like Terminus. It didn’t even have that constant tension and tightness that he’d felt in the hospital, or the blaring warning bells that had been going off in his head after the fire at the cabin.

Richmond was quiet, calm, and by all appearances peaceful. It was big group dinners and children actually playing in the streets. It was people waving at you from overgrown lawns... people who, he soon realized, hadn’t seen a walker any closer than from the other side of a high wall in months, even years for some of them. 

And just like he and Beth had speculated, he soon began to realize that they didn’t quite fit in here. They were used to stalking the woods and the mountains. They were used to defending themselves against not only walkers, but the dredges of humanity. They were people who were constantly on edge, always waiting for the other shoe to drop. 

Compared to the people of Richmond, they really did seem almost feral, and that was what turned out to be the problem. It wasn’t that they’d been underestimated, but _over_ estimated. 

*** 

On the first night there, they’d all been welcomed inside and fed a hearty dinner that was hosted by Noah’s mother, a warm and friendly woman who had been alternating between crying (tears of joy) and beaming grins at all of them since the moment she’d first spotted Noah and wrapped him up in her arms.

At the end of the evening, they’d been assigned three small houses in the center of town, all of them in a nice neat row. Daryl had expected them to get relegated to some far away corner, out of sight and mind. To the others it might have seemed like they were being made to feel welcome; he knew Beth at least thought they were because she’d whispered it to him with a hopeful little smile. Not Daryl, though. Nice as they were being, it only put him more on edge, and it wasn’t just because he tended not to trust people who were this nice from the start. There was just something about it all that had his hackles up a bit, but he hadn’t been able to figure out exactly what it was until the next day.

*** 

On the second day they all gathered in the community center to be told more about Richmond by the leader, a tall and warm-voiced black man named James. They got what Daryl could only assume was the usual spiel about how this community had been created by him and a small group of survivors about six months after the world had turned. Daryl sat in the back of the room with Beth at his side, their arms touching, half in just casual contact but also because they both instinctively sought out that reassurance. 

James had gone on and on about how they’d built up the community and the walls and how no walkers had gotten inside now in over a year. He told them about everything they’d be expected to do in the community; joining work groups like the gardeners, the people who cared for the livestock, the ones who cooked or did nursing or helped to keep the walls strong, etc. 

The trouble came when he told them of the specific rules that applied to new people like themselves.

“Now I know you’ve all gone through a lot.” James voice was warm and rolling, but Daryl’s eyes were already narrowing and he felt Beth tensing up beside him a bit, too. “But you’ve gotta understand that we have all these rules in place for a reason, and what that comes down to is everyone here feeling as safe as they possibly can. Ya’ll understand that, right?” 

The man waited until a few of them nodded, before he dropped down his casual little bomb, “So I’m sure you can understand the two main rules we have for newcomers. The first is, of course, no leaving the community under any conditions, until you’re given approval to do so. Unless, of course, you’re leavin’ for good. We don’t like to let anyone out of the safety of these walls unless we’re sure they can be trusted to keep themselves _and_ our group safe.” 

Daryl was already bristling, his frustration fueled by the fact that he could hear Beth’s breath hitching beside him already. He knew he so well he could read the thoughts flashing through her big blue eyes: _Trapped, trapped, trapped_. But before he could say a word, James had added, “And of course, for the same reasons, no weapons. In fact, no one here has weapons unless they’re on our defensive teams-”

But that was all he managed to get out before Daryl was instinctively on his feet, and to his surprise he felt Beth rise up beside him.

Jabbing his finger at James, he growled, “Look, you can’t just go takin’ our weapons away!” 

But before Daryl could say any more, Rick was rising to his feet in front of him and holding up his hand. “Thank you for allowing us to stay here in your community for now. We do appreciate it. This is just a lot for us to consider, and I think it would help if we had some time to ourselves to think it over.” 

From beside him, Daryl heard Beth gasp all sharp and tight. When he looked over at her, tension was etched in every line of her body, anger warring with panic as her chest heaved and her eyes darted from James to Rick to Daryl and back again.

Perhaps responding to the firm, controlled tone of Rick’s voice, James just nodded and said, “You have until tomorrow morning, when I’ll need you all to turn in your weapons.” As he headed to the door, he added over his shoulder, “You have to understand that my priority is not only keeping my people safe, but making sure they _feel_ safe.” 

As the man left, Daryl realized again not only what they’d become, but how they looked now to people like this, people who hadn’t seen a single sign of violence in a long time. It wasn’t just that they were all dirty, still all dressed in their torn and ragged clothing. They were rough, not just on the outside, but on the inside too. They were _feral_. They were hardened by everything they’d seen, by the things they’d gone through that had turned them tough and made it so they were almost always on edge.

He didn’t fail to see the irony of it all He saw it clearly and in any other situation he might have laughed. Cause in the end, Joe was right. Ain’t nothing sadder than an outdoor cat trying to be an indoor one and right now, that was what they were, in a way. They were like they were a damn family of outdoor cats who’d slipped into a nice warm house only to realize that there was no way out. 

His narrowed eyes fixed on Rick as he took a step towards the man. “Rick this is fucked up, and you know it. Ain’t no way in _hell_ we’re giving up our weapons! We gotta-”

But before he could say anything else he suddenly felt Beth push past him, cutting off his words. She ran and shoved the door open, pausing in it just long enough for him to hear her gasp for breath before she was fleeing. Flashing a glare at Rick, Daryl pushed his anger to the back of his mind (for now, anyway) and took off in a run after Beth.

He’d caught up to her halfway between the community center and the house they’d been assigned to share with Maggie, Glenn, Rick, Michonne, Carl, and Judith. Somehow he’d gotten her back and into their home, but Beth had barely made it back to the room they were sharing before she’d the adrenaline that had fueled her flight this far began to give way to panic. The moment the first tremble went through her body, Daryl was there.

All he could do was hold onto her from behind, wrap his arms around her and anchor her as she shuddered and shivered, alternating between a refusal to give up the weapons that kept them safe, and panic over being trapped her, unable to leave.

Somehow they’d ended up on the floor, Beth on her knees as he held onto her from behind and finally managed to turn her around and pull her into his lap, murmuring his usual refrain of, “Breathe, breathe, breathe...” 

“They took my weapons at the hospital, too.” Her voice was a whisper, cutting through his thoughts and bringing with it a dark fog of anger and frustration and guilt that only grew as she went on, “I had nothing, I couldn’t defend myself. I couldn’t stop them. I was helpless and I- _Daryl_. Daryl _please_ , I can’t, not again-” 

And that was what sealed it. Because he could not- _would not_ \- put her through that again. “They can’t make us,” he whispered against her ear as he cradled her close in his arms. “-I won’t let them. _Rick_ won’t let them.” 

Not if he had anything to say about it. When it came to her, he’d do anything. “I told you,” he murmured as he rocked her gently in his arms and cradled her against his chest. “You and me, Beth. Together. We’ll figure this out. We’re not gonna let you suffer, not gonna let you hurt. If you don’t fit, if we can’t _make_ this fit, than I won’t either. Okay? Now just breathe for me, Beth. Just _breathe_...” 

“I c-can’t, Daryl. Can’t breathe. Can’t _do_ this.” She looked up at him, her eyes panicked in a way that reminded him of a cornered rabbit. “We’re trapped, Daryl. We’re stuck here and they’re g-gonna... They’re gonna take away our only protection. They’re gonna make us helpless, and we won’t be able to stop them, and I c-can’t, I c-an’t, I c-c-can’t!!” 

He understood her panic. He was loaded down with weapons- they _all_ were- because weapons were what helped them survive. Weapons were what _protected_ them. After the prison, none of them would go weaponless anymore. None of them would risk being unprepared, being caught off-guard and unable to defend themselves, and there was _especially_ no way he’d let Beth be forced to suffer through that defenselessness again.

But understanding that wasn’t going to help Beth right now when she was all worked up in his arms and only getting worse by the moment. Seeing her this way scared him even more than the thought of losing their weapons. This wasn’t the woman who had fought to help nurse their family after the highway shootout, or the women who had fought her way through the fire that had consumed the cabin, and kept her panic under control as the Hunters stalked her and the other woman through the woods. This Beth in his arms was far closer to the one who had clutched him close in the hospital bed and flinched every time anyone looked at her, and _that_ scared him. He couldn’t let her go back to that, couldn’t let her relapse and drift away from herself again. He wouldn’t let her. Not on his watch.

Tonight the most he could do was continue to comfort her; promising again and again that he would fight to let them keep their weapons, that they wouldn’t be helpless, that she was too strong to _ever_ be helpless. Eventually Beth’s panic had worn her down until she fell asleep exhausted in his arms. 

Daryl’s worry, on the other hand, had kept him up most of the night as his mind fixated on how to help Beth feel safe here, how to keep her from regressing even further and losing all the progress she had made. He just hoped that in the end, they wouldn’t have to do anything drastic.

*** 

On the third day, he and Rick had gone to tell James that while they would stay in the community walls if he insisted, they wouldn’t give up all their weapons. They couldn’t. 

To say it hadn’t gone well was a bit of an understatement, but Rick had fiercely stuck to his corner defending them, and Daryl had even managed to keep his anger under control to try and explain to the man that their weapons were what kept them all feeling safe. They’d told him about the farm, the prison, Woodbury, Terminus, Grady Memorial, the Hunters, trying to make him understand just why it was that none of them felt safe without their weapons. He thought about Beth back in the house with Maggie, looking up at him with those half-gone eyes as he’d left her behind to go to the meeting, promising her that he’d do whatever he could.

As he stood now in front of the house, searching the street for a sign of Beth, Daryl couldn’t help but remember how stunned Rick had looked when James had taken all of it in and then calmly informed them that the problem wasn’t them wanting to defend themselves if something went bad. The problem was that the community was worried _they_ were that something bad.

Somehow, at some point he couldn’t remember clearly, they had become the ‘dangerous’ ones; at least to people like this. He couldn’t help noticing the eyes on them constantly as they walked through the community Even as he stood there now they were watching. Someone was always watching, every moment of every day they’d been there. People waved, but cautiously. Others didn’t bother, they just shied away and avoided them, eyes flicking always to the guns in their holsters or the knives on their belts.

Daryl didn’t care, to be honest. People could look at him however they wanted, in fact, it wasn’t much different from the way people had _always_ looked at him. No, he didn’t care if people judged him, if they moved away from him on the street or avoided him entirely.

But he did care how they treated Beth, because it only seemed to make her worse and worse as time went on. There were eyes on her constantly, whenever she went out. The weight of the gazes had her fingers twitching for the knife at her waist for reassurance, which in turn only made the stares worse. At first the twitching and the way she stuck close to him was the worst of it, but it seemed to wear on her more and more every time they went out now. He could _see_ how she retreated deeper into herself, flinching from people who got too close, alternating between frustration that made her snap at people, panic that made her breathing hitch and catch, and a hint of sadness that he’d catch in her blue eyes, which always made his stomach sink. 

Already he had been worried and considering what he might be able to do to help alleviate that stress for her. He’d been mentally working out ways to time their walks for when less people would be around, and thinking of ways they could eat their meals with less of a crowd there. If things kept going like this, he knew Beth wouldn’t get any better. They needed- _he_ needed- ways to adjust her situation and help her remember how to cope. What he got instead was just another even bigger problem added to the pile when later on the third day, they met their first members of Richmond Community’s “defensive teams”. 

They called them the Peacekeepers, or the Protectors. They had a bunch of other names for them, all stupid in Daryl’s opinion. What it boiled down to was that this group of men (and a few women) were responsible for keeping the camp safe from outside by defending it from walkers and raiders, but they also protected it from within, too; stopping fights, keeping the peace, and making sure everyone stuck to the rules.

In essence, they were cops. They didn’t wear cop uniforms, but they all wore jeans and black shirts, and they were the only residents who carried weapons. They were cops in all but name and uniform, and he knew it. The first time he’d seen them, Merle’s voice had whispered in his mind: _If it walks like a pig cop, and talks like a pig cop..._

He wasn’t the only one. Beth had known what they were from the first time she’d seen them, too, just as he’d known what the sight of them would do to her. 

Even standing in front of their house now waiting for her, remembering the first time they’d run into the ‘Protectors’ made his blood boil. 

***

He, Beth, Carl, and Rick had been walking back from the community center, where dinner was hosted every night. They’d sat in their little corner by themselves and it hadn’t been too bd; in between her tension at such a large number of people around them, Beth had managed to joke that it was like high school and they were the loser table or something. Personally he had a feeling it was more like they were the table of thugs, or bullies. This was the table he’d sat at in high school, back when he’d still attended. The one full of people everyone was afraid of and the teachers always had their eye on.

Now as they walked slowly and carefully down the street, they were still being avoided. At least outside they were given more space, which seemed to help Beth. She was holding Judith too, cause carrying her always seemed to help Beth stay calmer when they were out in the community and under all those watchful eyes. 

Everything had been okay. Distantly tense, but overall peaceful. Until the three men had appeared from down the street, all in those same black shirts and jeans, pistols bobbing faintly at their waists as they made their way towards them. 

“Good evening,” Rick drawled with a nod of his head.

“Evening.” The tallest of the three man stood slightly in front and looked them over, eyes lingering on the knives at his and Beth’s waists and the gun in Rick’s holster. “Now, we don’t want to cause trouble here. We know you’ve had a talk with James, and that he’s agreed to let you keep weapons in your home. We’ve reluctantly agreed with him on that, but the thing is, you’re making people nervous wearing them around out here all the time. So we’ve been thinking that maybe it’d be best if you leave those weapons at home, at least when you come to the communal dinner.”

To his credit, Rick had stayed calmed as he asked, “And who are you, exactly?” 

“People call us the Peacekeepers here in Richmond. It’s our job to keep this place defended, _and_ to make sure everyone follows the rules.” His gaze trailed down again to their weapons, and his eyebrow raised. “Now, we’re willing to make exceptions for ya’ll being as you’re new, but we also have to take our residents into consideration, and many of them have been here for a _long_ time.” 

At Daryl’s side, Beth was staring at the three men. Her eyes were wide, her face so pale that her scars stood out in stark contrast to her skin. She didn’t even seem to realize that she was clutching Judith a little too tightly, or that she had gone stock still and wasn’t moving, even as her breath got short.

“Look,” Daryl said shortly, fueled by a surge of protectiveness. “We ain’t hurting nobody. We ain’t doin’ nothing with our weapons ‘cept wearing them for our own safety?” He heard Beth’s breathing hitch, and the sound seemed to flick a matching switch with him (“ _I was helpless_ ”) as his eyes narrowed. “Hell, don’t y’all know what kinda world we’re in? You’ve got those guns on you for a reason. This ain’t no little perfect suburban TV community. The dead are right outside those walls, and y’all know it. _We_ know it. We ain’t gonna walk around unarmed just askin’ to be attacked!” 

He’d snapped a bit more than he’d intended, and one of the two other men took a step forward towards him, hand twitching towards his gun. “Listen, _redneck_ -”

Daryl growled, but suddenly Beth was at his side, her fingers curling tightly around his arm to anchor him. For a brief moment he saw that steel in her eyes as her desire to keep _him_ safe overrode her panic about these men, and if he hadn’t been so angry and worried, he’d have been proud of her. “Hey!” He could see the rapid rise and fall of her chest, but she was standing her ground. “There’s no need for that. Everything was perfectly fine before you go here!” Judith gave a little fussing sound in Beth’s arms, and he saw her visibly readjust a bit to say in a slightly less angry tone, “We’ll go home, okay? We weren’t going to do anything.”

“It’s okay, honey.” The third man took a step around the first. He was about the same height as Daryl, with tanned skin and black hair and a large, barreled frame, and though he didn’t eye Beth up and down in a way Daryl could protest, the tone of his voice instantly had Beth tightening next to him in a way that was more than enough to make Daryl angrier as the ‘peacekeeper’ drawled, “Ain’t nobody thinking a sweet thing like you is gonna cause any trouble.” 

The growl was rumbling in his chest even as Beth’s snapped back in a low and dangerous tone, “I ain’t no _sweet thing_ , trust me.” 

Daryl pulled his arm from Beth’s grasp and was just about to take a step towards the cop that had called her ‘sweet thing’ when Rick shifted around behind him and pressed a careful hand to his back to cut in,“We’ll just be heading home, alright? We’ll keep in mind what you said... officers.”

Daryl was still tense, still glaring the men down as Rick murmured low in his ear, “Come on.” 

“Are you kidding me? These sonofabitches-”

“-are pricks.” The swear caught his attention, but it was what Rick said next that really got him, “But Beth needs you more right now.” 

Guilt swamped him the moment he looked at her. She was trailing after them but already he could see the fire in her eyes fading. The further they got from the cops, the more her breathing grew sharper and her expression distant. Her face was white, her eyes big and wide in her face, her fingers trembling when they were curled around Judith as she followed blindly behind them. 

Instantly his focus shifted back to her. “Hey,” he murmured, coming up beside her and sliding an arm around her back. I’m right here, it’s alright. Rick and I have got you, and we’re going home now. ” His voice was full of concern as his fingers curled lightly into her shirt, trying to give her contact but not overwhelm her. 

“I-” She swallowed hard and he watched her blink and try to focus again, her voice all distant and hoarse as she said, “I was back there again. I was back there and he had me cornered in my room and he had that lollipop and... and...”

Daryl darted a glance at Rick and saw worry on the man’s face, but nothing more, although Carl was wide-eyed beside him. Neither of them said anything though, and he was grateful for that. There was so little Beth had shared with the others, and he didn’t want her to be upset later if people treated her differently over something she’d let slip while she was out of it. “No, Beth. You’re not there. You’re here with me, and Rick, and Carl, and Judith.” 

Beth blinked again, and he saw her look down and stare at the baby as if she were drinking in the sight of her. Only once her hands had faintly relaxed around Judith did her gaze shift to him. Their eyes met and held like anchors, and he saw her slowly coming back to him again from whatever dark place she’d gone to. What worried him was how slow the shift was and how quick she’d gone there tonight.

“See? You’re right here with us, Beth.” He gently rubbed his hand over her back as she leaned into him.

But he saw her expression falter when Carl piped up from beside him, “And the hospital is long gone, Beth. It’s long gone.” He saw her look back behind them to where the Peacemakers were standing and watching them leave, hands still resting on their belts near their holstered guns.

“No,” she said softly, distantly. “It’s not. Sometimes I think it never will be.” 

*** 

That same night they were in bed together in the small room they shared. When it was just the two of them Beth always seemed much calmer, though Daryl still did his best be gentle with her. His own experiences with his past and how it had affected him meant that Daryl was always conscious of not pushing her, of not doing anything she didn’t want. But right now he was sure she was enjoying herself as he lay her back on the bed and their lips parted slowly against one another’s. 

Beth breathed out low sounds against his lips, making him smile against her mouth as his hand shifted to her hip. Feeling her arch up against him, he let his hand grip her hip and caress it before slipping his fingers slowly under her shirt. Touching her sent a thrill through him; it always did. Like some part of him was still amazed not only that she let him touch her like this, that she _wanted_ it, but also just that she felt so damn soft and good. Relishing the warmth of her beneath his touch, his hand splayed against the bare skin of her hip and side and began to slowly move up over her side.

But then suddenly she froze beneath him. He felt every inch of her go tense, felt her hands press to his chest and _push_ , and in an instant Daryl was breaking the kiss and pulling back. He panted a little, feeling his heart race at the thought that he’d upset her or hurt her somehow. Some voice in his mind was calling him all sorts of things ( _stupid fucking idiot!_ ) even as he shoved it back to focus on her. “Are you okay? Beth… did I do something wrong?”

“I- I can’t-” There was distance growing in her eyes for a moment, but then her gaze met his and he saw something like embarrassment or shame flood her gaze instead. “I- I’m sorry, I just…” She was shaking her head and instantly he began to try and sooth her; with his words if not his touches right now.

“It’s okay,” he murmured, leaning over her with his hands braced on either side of her waist before he slowly drew back. “You don’t ever need t’ apologize to me, Beth. We don’t have t’ do anythin’ you don’t want to, okay?”

“No, it’s not that I don’t want to- It’s just-” For a second he thought she was gonna pull away and it twisted at something inside of Daryl because of everyone in their family, he’d always been the one person she’d never pulled away from. He couldn’t help thinking that if she did pull away, it would mean she was far worse off than he’d realized she’d gotten. 

But after a few tense moments she reached up and tugged him down next to her. Daryl breathed out a sigh of relief as she turned onto her side and curled close to him with her arm over his stomach. “I didn’t mean to, I swear, I just… for a second I was remembering _him_. Him and his hand, touching me like that and- I’m _sorry_.” Her voice was nearly a whisper, but he heard her, and those words made him feel such a flood of emotions; anger, guilt, frustration, worry. 

She was supposed to be working through this. She _had_ been working through this, before they’d gotten here. But every day they spent in this place it was like she had regressed a little bit more and it seemed like today with those ‘peacekeepers’ had thrown her back even farther than he’d realized. He didn’t blame her, he blamed _himself_ ; for not finding a way to help her, maybe even for letting her come here in the first place.

“Don’t you even think of apologizin’ to me again, Greene.” Daryl gently rested his hand on her back and held her as close as she wanted, and when her cheek rested on his chest he lightly pressed a kiss to her temple. “It’s fine. _We’re_ fine. What you need is some rest, okay?” His chin rested on her hair as he murmured reassuringly, “Just get some rest. I’ve got you.”

 

Eventually she drifted to sleep in his arms, but yet again Daryl found he couldn’t do the same. His thoughts about how bad things had gotten just lingered in his mind as he churned them over and over again, and kept coming up with one thing: If this kept going like this, he’d have failed her. And he couldn’t do that. He _refused_ to do that. He would not fail Beth, ever again.

***

Now it was their fourth day in Richmond and Daryl was even more on edge. He hadn’t gotten much sleep last night, but that wasn’t surprising considering he’d been up all night after her mild panic. She hadn’t been much better this morning when she’d woken up; though she had been quiet in their room, that softness had turned to distance as soon as they’d joined the rets of the group.

Daryl really, really hated that he could see her retreating into herself day by day the longer they were here. The longer she struggled to function surrounded by people and walls and men that reminded her of demons she wanted to leave behind. In some ways he felt anxiety over similar things as her; the walls, the threat of losing their weapons, the men that were in charge and how dangerous they’d be.

But Beth took priority, she always did. Especially right now. Not just in the abstract, but in the very real present, because she should have been back by now from her visit to the nurse station. His original plan had been to go with her, him at her side same as always, but at the last minute James had come by wanting to talk to him and Rick about their run-in last night and he’d gotten held up. Beth, not wanting to linger and listen to that discussion, had insisted she would be okay on her own.

But it had been too long and she wasn’t back yet, and he was worried. All he could think about was how he should have made her wait for him, he should have sent someone with her besides himself. He might have fucked up and made those mistakes, but he wasn’t just gonna stand here worriedly waiting for her anymore, not when those warning bells were faintly ringing within him.

Wishing he hadn’t left his crossbow back in the house, Daryl made his way down the street, avoiding the gazes of the other residents as he strode toward the nurse station; a small home near the community center that had been converted for medical use by the few people in the community with medical training.

He was halfway there when he heard the shouts and several raised voices, one of which cut right to his heart and _tugged_. In an instant he was running towards it, feet pounding on the pavement as he hurtled around the corner and into the main square of the housing community.

The sight in front of him made him come to a sharp stop, but only for a second, just long enough for his quick eyes to take it in. A woman was on the ground, pointing up at Beth and screaming, “She pushed me! Did you see that! She attacked me!” 

Disbelief flooded him for one second- Beth? Hurt someone who hadn’t first hurt her?- only to be replaced by fury as his eyes settled finally on Beth. She was so pale she was almost white, her eyes big and wide as a frightened doe’s, and her entire body was shaking and struggling in the grip of one of the Peacekeepers who had her arms pinned roughly behind her back. It was the same cop who had spoken to her last night, called her _honey_ and _sweetheart_ and made her instantly flash back. 

And he had his hands on her.

“Let her fucking go, _now_!” 

Beth didn’t even flinch at the raised sound of his voice, let alone look up and he knew she was too far gone. Her fighting against the man’s grip turned to trembling shivers, her eyes growing distant as she withdrew in on herself; he could see that even from where he stood. By now he knew the signs far better than he’d have liked to. Her breathing was coming in short sharp gasps and Daryl knew if he didn’t calm her down quick, she was gonna pass out. He was gonna lose her. This, after everything she’d gone through, was too damn much. Already her body going limp in the arms of the so-called Peacekeeper, who looked up with heat in his eyes as Daryl hurried towards her.

“You let her go! Right now! You’re _hurtin’_ her, can’t you fuckin’ see that?” Daryl growled and reached for her, for the asshole holding her, intent on doing whatever he could to get her free-- only to feel the cold steel of a gun barrel pressed unexpectedly to his back. 

From behind him came the low voice of the first Peacekeeper from last night. “If I were you, boy, I’d stop right there.” 

All he could do was freeze as in front of his eyes, Beth gasped for breath and began to sink to her knees.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know, I know, not only is there a cliffhanger, but there weren't many romantic Bethyl moments either, gasp! It's okay, honest, this chapter is completely necessary to set up the final two chapters. You'll see soon, as I'll hopefully have the next chapter up by Saturday (hopefully). 
> 
> I did want to mention that while "She's Breathing" will be ending soon, the story/series will not be. Not only will I be starting the sequel shortly after, but I also have plans to post some one-shots related to the original story. With that in mind, I've created a "series" for this work. You can see the [series page](http://archiveofourown.org/series/198185) by cliking that link, and when you're there I believe you can also subscribe to it, if you're not already just subscribed to me. All works related to "She's Breathing" will be posted into the series so they'll be connected. 
> 
> Thank you all again for being such faithful readers. <3 I adore every single comment you guys leave.


	29. Self-Blame and Self-Sacrifice

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The group is given an ultimatum.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am just really pleased with how this chapter turned out, and I hope you are too! 
> 
> **WARNINGS** : First-hand panic attack/PSTD, mentions of past-sexual assault.

In the few days they had been in Richmond, Beth had consciously been able to feel herself slipping back under that cloud of anxiety and panic. In some ways that was one of the worst things about it; she could feel it happening and yet couldn’t do anything to stop it. It was like she was in a long tunnel and the haze and darkness kept getting thicker the further she went in, and she could _see_ that she was getting pulled in deeper but all she could do was look over her shoulder and wish she could go back. Except she couldn’t, even when she tried.

She’d known it was getting worse and worse, especially ever since they’d run into those ‘peacekeepers’, but she just couldn’t pull herself back out of that hole. Her inability to help herself made her feel weak, made her feel guilty, and somehow that only seemed to make all of it even worse. She was supposed to be better than this, now. She was supposed to be _strong_. 

When the breaking point had come, it had been over the most ridiculous thing. She’d kept herself under control all through her appointment at the little clinic, letting them examine her wrist and the scar on her head, even as the constant touching and the presence of multiple strangers in a small room had put her more and more on edge each moment. Stepping out of there and onto the street should have been a relief. Certainly the fresh air and open space was, but nowhere near as much as it should have been. The streets weren’t much better here for Beth. They were full of people watching, and staring, and judging. Full of people’s eyes flitting from her face to the knife she refused to remove from her belt sheath, and back again.

She’d been trying to just avoid them all by just keeping her head down as her fingers slipped absentmindedly under her bracelets and began to rub back and forth over her scar. Though she could feel her breathing getting a little tighter, Beth had been sure she’d be okay long enough to make it back to the house, to _Daryl_. Then, just up ahead a little bit, she’d caught a flash of black-shirt-and-jeans, and she’d known right away that one of them was there. There and coming for her. He was gonna catch her on her own with none of her family here, and he’d take advantage the way she knew he wanted to, all _sweet thing_ and _honey_ and roaming, groping hands. 

Beth’s breathing began to hitch and she stumbled, and just then someone reached out to grab her arm. Later she might understand that whoever it was had only been trying to help her and make sure she didn’t fall, but in the moment rational thought didn’t cut into the haze of _sweet thing, sweet thing, be a good girl for me Bethy_ in her mind. She panicked, yanking her arm away and shoving hard at the body that was too close to her. “Don’t touch me!”

And suddenly it was shouting and accusations ringing through the haze in her mind. People were all around her, closing in on her like a wall of bodies tightening, tightening, trapping her in a circle and she couldn’t breathe, her chest was so tight as she fought to find her strength and catch herself.

She still might have done it; might have managed to find that strength inside of her and fight for control, if he hadn’t caught her first instead. Hands reaching out to grip her wrists and tug them roughly behind her back. Beth screamed and then her air cut off in a gasp as she struggled to remember how to breathe. 

Somewhere behind her, she heard a rough masculine voice telling her: “Don’t fight me. Don’t fight, now, that’s a good girl.”

There was a roaring in her ears and a tightness in her chest and her eyes pressed shut against the encroaching blackness that was creeping in around the edges. _So how about it, Bethy? We gonna work something out here? Good girl. Good girl, good girl, good girl. Lucky for me your’re not a fighter. Not a fighter, not a fighter. Good girl, not a fighter, Bethy, Bethy, Bethy-_

And then, barely audible through the fog in her mind: “Beth!” 

For just a moment, there was a flicker in the darkness of her mind. Like the spark of a match against that strip on the side of a match-box when it briefly sizzles but doesn’t quite light, and then, “Let her go!” 

_Spark and flare_. 

There was a pinpoint of light in the distance and she fixed her eyes on it and began to drag herself out. She knew that light. It was old leather and the lingering scent of cigarettes. It was arms wrapped around her and words whispered in her ear: _Breathe, Beth. I’ve got you._ It was moonshine and a hint of a smile in the darkness and the roar of flames devouring the past, and _what changed your mind?_

But it was so much more. It was the weight of a crossbow in her arms, or a look of faint pride as she tracked an animal through the forest. It was _you said you could take care of yourself_ and _you did_. It was... It was...

_You’re alive because you fought to stay that way, all by yourself._

_She saved herself._

_That’s who I want havin’ my back._

_You were never a burden, and y’ never will be. You’re the greatest good I know._

Suddenly that light was right there in front of her and Beth gripped tightly and hauled herself right into it. Her head lifted as she dragged in a sharp breath and blinked her blurry, hazy eyes. Dimly she registered that someone was still holding her arms behind her back and pinning her wrists, but what her gaze focused on was the man standing in front of her: _Daryl_ , a gun to his temple but his eyes fixed on her.

He didn’t speak, but he didn’t need to. She could see the relief in his eyes and the pride, could practically hear him whispering in her mind. _There you go. Stay with me, Beth. Stay with me now._

Her eyes stayed locked on him as she shifted her feet just slightly, bracing herself so she could try and fight back if she had to. She could step on his foot, or kick up between his legs, or... 

But Daryl was faintly shaking his head, and Beth held herself still for now, trusting him. He was her partner. They worked together, as always.

With the gun pressed to his temple by the peacekeeper behind him, Daryl went on in a rough but measured tone, “Look, I ain’t tryin’ to start anythin’. I just want him to let her go, okay?” 

The man behind her only gripped her wrists tighter, making her breath hitch again as she dug her mental claws tighter into her sanity and held on as hard as she could. “Your _little friend_ here shoved an innocent woman to the ground, okay? She needs to be restrained before she tries to hurt anyone else.”

“I didn’t-” She dragged in a deep breath and fixed her eyes on Daryl, letting them anchor her even as the faintly growing spark of anger inside of her fueled her too. “She grabbed me and I panicked, that’s all. I wasn’t trying to hurt her.” She looked to the woman who had climbed to her feet, and Beth’s eyes softened as she said honestly, “I didn’t mean to hurt you, honestly. You caught me off guard and I panicked. I don’t- I don’t like people touching me...” 

Even as she saw the woman’s expression grow a little less wary, the man behind her snorted. “Sure, that’s a good story. You don’t seem to mind when your boyfriend here touches you...” 

He tugged her arms up higher, surprising a gasp and a sharp squeal from Beth’s lips. In an instant Daryl was growling- “You better back to fuck off quick, you sonofabitch”- and his hand twitched to his own knife, just as the man behind him shoved the gun harder against his temple. 

“Do we have a problem here, officers?” Rick’s gruff but firm voice sent only a faint twinge of relief through Beth as she turned her head just enough to see him coming up. His hands were in the air, but she could see Michonne behind him with her fingers hovering over the hilt of the sword she’d refused to give up as well. 

“This doesn’t concern you,” the man with his gun to Daryl’s temple said. “If there’s any trouble, we’ll be taking care of it shortly.” 

There words were ambiguous, but that only seemed to upset Beth more, fueling both her panic and anger at the same time. It didn’t help that the man behind her seemed intent on holding her even tighter, making her gasp again and sparking Daryl to snap, “You ain’t gonna take care of _shit_. What you’re gonna do is let her _go_ , before you hurt her more!” 

Her arms were twisted up behind her back as her captor replied lowly, “Don’t worry, boy, I ain’t gonna hurt your little sweet thing. Not _too_ much, anyway...”

That was it. The crossroads. It was either sink back into panic, or give in to anger. Beth had to choose.

Her choice flashed in her eyes all heat and steel for just one second before she bared her teeth in a grimace, lifted her leg, and slammed her foot down on her captor’s boot. The moment he groaned in pain his grip on her loosened. She slipped one arm free and instantly grabbed her knife, whirling around with it raised to press it to the man’s neck. 

She seemed oblivious to his gun pointed at her temple as she hissed, “You need to learn to listen to people. Especially when they tell you they’re far from some _sweet thing_.” 

As she stood there with her chest heaving, Beth dimly registered that there had been movement around her, too. Daryl had seen the anger in her eyes and acted almost simultaneously, pulling his knife from his belt and ducking around the gun at his temple. He and the second officer stood almost like she did, knife to throat and gun to temple. Beside them, Michonne had pulled her sword and pointed it at another officer who had tried to slip up from behind while Rick had managed to quickly draw his gun and aim it at the officer holding his gun to Beth’s head.

No one moved, although there was a crowd hovering all around them, alternating between murmurs and whispers and panicked exclamations. Beth couldn’t imagine this was helping their reputation here, but to be honest she didn’t really care right now. All she cared about was getting away safe; not just herself, but _all_ of them.

“Let her _go_ ,” Daryl growled again, barely seeming to care that he had a gun to his head or was holding a knife to the man’s throat. 

“Now, what is going on here?” From her right, Beth saw the crowd of people began to part before James, who was slowly coming forward to meet them. The tall man had his hands on his hips and a stern expression on his face, but none of them made a move from their tense stand-off. 

“This girl pushed one of our people,” the man in front of her said roughly as his dark eyes darted from hers, to James, and back again. 

“It was an _accident_ ,” Beth bit out angrily, her fingers tensing around the handle of the blade. “She grabbed my arm and I panicked and I pushed her. I wasn’t trying to hurt her. _You’re_ the one who came up and grabbed me and pinned my arms behind my back!”

“Yeah, and your sonofabitch _peacekeeper_ wouldn’t let her the fuck go even when she was having a damned panic attack.” There was a fury in Daryl’s voice still, making it all low and rough, and Beth knew that he was far more upset than he was even showing. Which was saying something about _his_ progress too, really. A year or so ago he’d have been swinging his fists far before this, but now he was holding himself back, focusing his anger to try and keep them all safe. To try and keep _her_ safe. 

“Alright,” James said slowly, stepping in between them all and slowly lifting his hands. “Now, why doesn’t everyone just lower their weapons and take a step back.”

“But _sir_ -” Beth’s officer half-growled his words only to cut off when James shook his head firmly. 

“I’ll count, and on three, everyone just take a step back and lower your weapons, okay?” He waited for their nods and then went on, “One... Two... Three.”

Beth took a step back, never once taking her eyes off the ‘officer’ in front of her, until he’d begun to lower his gun. Though she lowered her knife to her side, she didn’t ease her tight grip on it, and she only pulled her wary gaze away from the man when she heard footsteps from her side and found Daryl coming up by her side. 

He didn’t grab her, or try to pull her to safety. That wasn’t Daryl. He just looked into his eyes and held her gaze, searching it to silently make sure she was okay. With a little nod, Beth reached down and found his hand to lace their fingers together. She didn’t care about anyone watching. She needed to feel his hand around hers and she knew that he needed that connection too. 

Hand-in-hand they moved to stand by Rick and Michonne, and though Beth felt herself trembling faintly still, she managed to nod back at the looks that both Rick and Michonne gave her. For just a moment she felt guilty again knowing she’d dragged them into this and gotten them all into more trouble. But then Daryl squeezed her hand and she saw Michonne step up closer behind them as Rick shifted nearer to her side, and the guilt faded away. They would never want her to feel guilty for this. They were family and that was what family did. They helped each other. 

“Now look,” James said, turning towards them as his three peacekeepers moved to stand around him. In the crowd behind them Beth could see more black shirts dotting the crowd and her stomach clenched as she curled her fingers tighter around both Daryl’s hand, and her own knife. “I was willing to give your group a little bit of time to come to terms with the rules here, but if it’s gonna involve you putting my people on edge or starting trouble, than I just can’t have it. I understand y’all have gone through some tough things-”

“You don’t understand _shit_ ,” Daryl growled from beside her.

Rick’s voice cut in lowly and warningly, “Daryl....” 

“No.” Daryl’s fingers tightened around Beth and he gestured towards James with his other hand, the one that clutched his knife. Ignoring the way the officers hands tightened on their guns at his gesture, he went on, “These people, they’ve been all nice and cozy here in their little suburban dream land. They don’t know shit about what we’ve been through, about what’s out there. ‘Tough’ things? You ain’t know _shit_ about what kinda _tough things_ we’ve been through! I bet you’re picturin’ a few rough dudes, some nasty walkers, right?”

James raised his hands beseechingly, and started, “I know there are bad people out there...” 

“We had a place like this once.” Daryl drew his knife in a half-circle, pointing at the crowd around them. “Maybe not as nice as this, but it seemed safe. Safe enough to grow food and keep animals. Safe enough to think we could make a life. Then a man came with his little army and destroyed it all. He murdered members of our family.” Beth shivered beside him and saw James’ gaze shift to her for a moment as her eyes went dark with sadness. _Daddy_. 

Beside her, Daryl gripped her hand tighter as he went on, “He brought walkers to swarm the place and burned us all out until we had to scatter to save our lives. Found another place like this called Terminus, you know what they did? They lured people in, trapped them, and ate them. _Fucking cannibals_ , that’s right. Gave people a real nice welcome though, nice flowers everywhere, offerin’ you food and suggesting you give up your weapons before they trapped you like cattle so they could butcher you later. Yeah we’ve met all kinds of people. Murderers, lunatics, psychopaths who wanted to hunt us like animals...”

Beth drew herself up, fixing her eyes on the man in front of them as she breathed out lowly, “ _Cops_. Like the men you’ve got right there, only they liked to drive around and find weak people they could hit with their cars and knock out. They went around _injuring_ people on purpose, so they could catch them and bring them back and force them to stay. Slave labor, abuse...” She drew in a shuddering breath and exhaled, “ _Rape_.” 

She hadn’t even fully realized she was speaking until the words were out and everyone around her went still. From the corner of her eyes, Beth saw Rick turn to look at her but she refused to meet his eyes, refused to see whatever pain must have been in them at her words. Her mouth was dry and just as she struggled to swallow she felt Daryl give her hand a slow, reassuring squeeze. It was enough to ground her, to give her the courage to go on, “You say you understand we’ve been through a lot, but you have no idea. You’re _lucky_ to have no idea what all of that is like, what it _does_ to a person. We’re not so lucky, but we can’t change that. Everything we are now is because of that, and all we can do is... is...” 

“Move forward.” Michonne spoke in that low, calm voice of hers from where she was watching the crowd with wary eyes.

Rick’s gaze lingered on Beth for a moment more before he nodded and looked back to James. “They’re right. All we can do is move forward and try to work on it. Together. Maybe we could do that here, but not like this. Not if you don’t give us some allowance and try to understand what we’ve gone through and what we need.” He looked around at the crowd that had gathered, and Beth wondered if he could see the same horror on their faces as they tried to digest the stories they’d just been told. “I know you just want your people to be safe, but that’s all I want too. I just want my family to feel safe, and I don’t know if we can have that if you make them give up all their weapons and keep them trapped in here.” 

For a long tense moment, no one spoke. She could see James looking at each of them, turning over what they’d said in his mind, perhaps trying to come to a conclusion. She let one tiny bit of hope spark again inside of her; maybe this would be okay. Maybe he’d understand, maybe they’d be able to work something out...

“The rules we have here are rules for a reason. If I change them for you, what would be the point of having them at all?” James crossed her arms and shook his head as Beth felt her stomach sink. “No. I can’t. You have to make a decision. You can stay here, but you’ll have to give up all your weapons and keep inside the walls unless you earn enough trust to join the Peacekeepers. If that’s not acceptable, then I’m afraid you’ll have to leave. Those are the only options.” He sighed, and spread out his hands palm up. “This is a good place. I know you must see that in some way. You could be safe here, you could have lives here; you and your family and your children. You just have to choose to accept our way of life. That’s all. And I’m not a cruel man-”

Daryl and Beth snorted in disbelief at the same time, and if the moment hadn’t been so tense Beth would have smiled at him. As it was she just curled her fingers tighter in his as James went on, “-I won’t make you decide right now. You can have 24 hours. But until then, you either stay in your homes, or you make sure to leave your weapons behind when you come out. Deal?” 

When Beth finally glanced at Rick, she couldn’t fail to notice the tension in the tight line of his jaw, or the anger in his eyes. He was angry, she knew him well enough now to tell that. Rick carried so much on his shoulders and this was just another burden to add to the pile that weighed down on his shoulders. Sometimes it amazed her that he didn’t just snap. After a moment, he breathed out slowly through his nose and gave the man a slow nod. “Fine. We’ll let you know what we decide tomorrow.” 

It wasn’t like they had any other option.

They stayed still until James turned and guided his men away with him. Only then did the four of them turn in the other direction, leaving the group behind as they walked slowly back towards their houses. 

Beth couldn’t help the faint stirring of guilt inside of her again that had the words bubbling up before she could stop them: “I’m sorry...” 

“Don’t.” To her surprise it was Michonne who spoke, beating Daryl (and Rick) to the punch. Her voice was as quiet as always, but when she leaned forward enough to look Beth firmly in the eyes, she added, “We’re a family. The two of you needed us. That’s all.”

“ _I’m_ sorry,” Rick’s unexpected words caught her off guard enough to have her blinking up at him. “For not realizing how this place was affecting you.”

“It’s not just her,” Daryl said roughly, glancing up at Rick before giving a shrug. “Ivy, too. Right?”

He looked at Beth, who nodded. Of course Daryl would have noticed; he was the most observant man she knew. Hesitantly, she ventured, “And Hank, and I think Noah a bit, too. But others as well.” She swallowed and ventured, “Carl. He’d never say anything because he wants you to see how strong and brave a man he is, but I think this place makes him nervous. I think those _men_ make him nervous. He wants a good place as much as you do, Rick, and I know... I know you want him to have a normal life, to be a normal kid, but that’s only possible to a certain extent now and I think you know that. I think you know he’s changed in ways he can’t undo. This place... I think it makes him a little unsure, maybe even a little scared. I think it bothers him the way these people look at us, too.” 

Seeing Rick’s furrowed brow, Beth sighed. “I’m not saying we should definitely go-” She ignored the noise Daryl beside her and went on instead, “-I’m just saying we have a lot to think about. Or _talk_ about.” 

“Talk.” Rick nodded and picked up the pace towards their trio of houses. “That’s what we’re gonna do. This isn’t the kind of thing that can just be decided by one of us, or the four of us. We’re a family, right? So I reckon it’s about time for a family meeting.

*** 

With all of them in it, the living room of the house they shared with Rick was a bit packed, but they made it work. Daryl had guided the pair of them to the open doorway, knowing Beth would feel more comfortable there than in the middle of the room. Sure enough it felt much easier to breathe like this, with open space at her back and Daryl next to her and letting her lean against him. 

Rick stood in the center of the room, with the rest of their family gathered around him. Michonne was leaning against the wall behind him, with Tyreese, Sasha, and Carol beside her. Carl was standing against the wall near Beth and Daryl, holding Judy for the moment and rocking her gently in his arms, occasionally looking up at Beth as if he wanted to make sure she was okay. She knew he’d heard the story already from Rick, but rather than annoy her like it might have from anyone else, she found Carl’s concern rather sweet, so she made sure to give him a faint smile whenever she caught him watching her. 

Glenn and Maggie sat on one of the couches with Tara and Rosita beside them and Eugene standing behind, shifting nervously in place. Across from them, Ivy, Noah, Hank, had the smaller love-seat. Beth didn’t fail to notice the guilty look in Noah’s eyes, but before she could comment on it Rick was starting to speak. 

“I’m sure some of you have heard what happened by now. We had a small altercation in the center of the community-” Daryl snorted faintly again and Beth shook her head as she leaned against his side. “-and the short of it is that we’ve been given an ultimatum. We can stay here, if we agree to give up our weapons and stick inside the walls... or we can leave.” 

Instantly everyone’s voices rose in a rush of exclamations and frustrated sounds, until Rick raised his hands in the air to try and get everyone to quiet. In the silence that fell, Beth heard Maggie ask, “What _exactly_ happened out there?” 

Rick’s eyes found hers and he opened his mouth to reply before Beth shook her head to cut him off. She could do this. She _needed_ to do this. With Daryl’s hand sliding reassuringly across her lower back, Beth spoke up as firmly as she could manage, “I was coming back from the little clinic they have. I was already on edge I guess, from all the people, and I saw one of those peacemakers up ahead. They remind me of... of the cops, back at the hospital, and-” 

She broke off for a moment, but her gaze flicked to the couch that contained Noah, Hank, and Ivy. All three of them were sitting up straighter and they met her gaze with slow, reassuring nods that had her breathing out a sigh to compose herself. “I panicked a little.” That was an understatement, but she didn’t know how to explain it better. “I was scared and out of it, and I tripped and almost fell and one of the women who lives here grabbed my arm to try and catch me. But I was so out of it that I didn’t realize she was trying to help. I- I panicked and I pushed her and she fell to the ground, and I guess she thought I was attacking her. She cried out for help, or something. I don’t remember much of what happened, it’s all kind of a blur for a bit, but the peacekeeper guy saw it and came up and grabbed me. He pinned my arms from behind...” 

“Asshole wouldn’t let go,” Daryl said roughly, heat edging into his voice as his fingers tensed briefly against her back. “Treating her like a criminal, twisting her arms up behind her and not even caring she couldn’t breathe.” 

Beth shrugged but she had to drop her gaze and step back; even talking about it was making her chest a little tighter. 

“Those _assholes_.” Maggie’s voice cut through the silence, surprising Beth even more when her sister rose to her feet. “I’ll go talk some damn sense into them right now!” 

“Maggie...” Rick raised his eyebrow in warning, “Revenge isn’t gonna help any of us right now, as much as we might all be just a little tempted.” 

A faint chuckle eased the tension of the group as Maggie sank slowly back into her seat, though only after she met Beth’s gaze and got a reassuring little smile from her. 

“Rick is right though,” Beth said softly. “Revenge definitely won’t help them trust us, and that’s not really who we are, anyway. Besides... We have a big decision to make.”

“And we are gonna make it,” Rick added with a nod, “All of us. As a family. This is something we decide together, and everyone gets their chance to say their piece.” With a slow gaze around at all of them, he asked, “Do we stay, or do we go?” 

Beth felt Daryl shifting beside her to speak, but before he could Noah rose to his feet and cleared his throat. “I feel like... like I should apologize, for leading you all here.” When a few people hastened to shake their heads and make denials, Noah raised his hands to stop them. “Look I swear, it wasn’t like this when I was here. It was a good place. The walls had been up a couple months when I left, and we hadn’t had any walkers get in for a bit, but everyone always had weapons just in case. They had groups in charge or runs and watching the walls, but no one called them the Peacekeepers or anything like that yet, before I left. We were starting the gardens, and growing our own food, and it was _good_.” 

“So what happened?” Michonne spoke from behind Rick.

“My Ma says something went... bad. They let two people in one night, two gys I guess. They said they just wanted to stay the night and then move on, but that night they let in some of their friends and raided the whole place. Killed a few people, took a ton of supplies and left. After that, no one felt right trusting the newcomers, so they started making rules about taking away their weapons and keeping them inside until they were trusted.” Noah sighed and lowered himself to the edge of the couch again. “I guess that’s also when they officially formed the peacekeepers. Ma said they used to be fine. Just normal people who were officially in charge of the walls, and keeping everyone safe. But the more safe they felt, the less people wanted to carry around weapons, you know? Everyone wanted to feel normal. But I think maybe being the only ones in control, the ones with most of the power... Maybe it went to their heads a bit.”

Daryl snorted again. “Don’t it always?” 

Beth couldn’t help but agree. She wanted to believe in the potential for good in people, and she did, but she knew very well just how much power could go to a person’s head. Just what they’d do, to keep it. Like Dawn, letting women get raped under her roof just so she could keep up the status quo, or Dr. Edwards, having her kill that man just so he could keep his power as the only doctor.

Power could corrupt, she knew that well by now. 

“Research shows that people with power tend to act like people who have received damage to their orbitofrontal lobes,” Eugene spoke up unexpectedly, firing off the words in that sort of monotone rapid-speak that Beth was slowly becoming familiar with, “In essence they tend to be insensitive, overly impulsive, and are often induced to be more aggressive. Psychologists have done experiments where subjects are assigned the role of either prisoner or guard, and almost inevitably the guards descend into power abuse in the form of psychologically torturing those they see as under their control.” The man broke off and ducked his head, shrugging his shoulders as he said, “Read an article about it once.” 

“But the fact remains,” Carol remarked after a moment, “This place is the safest place we’ve found in awhile. There’s walls, there’s food and medical supplies, we’ve got roofs over our head. No one is trying to eat anyone...” 

“ _Yet_.” Carl’s muttered reply had Beth faintly smiling, as Daryl chimed in beside her, “But is it really safe? All it’ll take is one big herd and this place could fall. All these people in here with no weapons, no way of protecting themselves.”

Rick glanced up at Eugene and studied him for a moment before he remarked, “And there’s no way to be sure about those peacekeepers. How much worse they might get, what they might do. We’ve all met men like that before.”

“The Governor,” Maggie and Michonne said at the same time, sharing an understanding look with one another. 

“Joe’s gang,” Daryl murmured, his eyes on Rick even as Carl tensed beside them for a moment.

Beth frowned and reached out to gentle squeeze the boy’s shoulder as she added softly, “The cops at Grady Memorial.” Carl met her eyes for a moment and she gave him a slow nod, wanting him to know that she understood. That he wasn’t alone. Whatever burden he might have, she shared it with him.

But then, her gaze shifted to Judith in his arms. _Judy_. That sweet, innocent angel of a girl who deserved a place where she could grow up safe and fed and clothed, with a roof over her head. “But...” 

Daryl tensed beside her, and Beth couldn’t look at him because she knew the disapproval she’d see in his eyes as she said, “But we have to think about Judith. Here, she has food and a roof over her head, and real toys, and clean clothing... She’s safer than she’s ever been out there when we were always on the move.” 

“Beth-” Daryl turned a little beside her, trying to get her to meet his eyes. 

Drawing in a tight breath, she looked up at him and shook her head. “I can’t put her at risk, Daryl. How can we do that to her? We have to think of her and keeping her safe.” 

“I’m thinking about keeping _you_ safe,” Daryl said lowly, his voice only for her ears as his hand brushed slowly up her arm. “Keeping all of us safe. But especially you.”

“I know, Daryl. I...” She opened her mouth to say more, but from beyond them Tara spoke up nervously, “If we do decide to leave, where do we go?” 

“Winter is coming soon,” Carol said after a moment, with an apologetic look at Daryl when he turned his head to narrow his eyes at her. Beth turned as well but her expression was more understanding; she had a feeling Carol was just playing devil’s advocate, challenging them to get to the heart of the matter. “If we don’t find somewhere before then we’ll have to last the winter outside of the safety of walls, with limited food...” 

Rick just sighed. “I think we all know this is a complicated decision, and it isn’t one we can make in an instant. Unfortunately we’ve only been given until tomorrow night, but at least we’ve got _some_ time. Look.” He surveyed the room again, meeting each and every one of their gazes. “Take tonight. Think it over. Discuss it with the people you’re close to. Tomorrow morning we’ll meet again, let anyone say anything else that is on their mind, and then we’ll vote. Like a family. Okay?” 

*** 

Beth could still hear murmured conversations from below as she and Daryl made their way up the stairs to their room. Neither of them was talking, and Beth couldn’t fail to notice the tension between them. They weren’t the types to keep things from each other anymore though, so Beth knew it would come out, and sure enough as soon as the door closed Daryl was turning right towards her. His voice was low and rough with frustration as he growled, “I ain’t letting you sacrifice yourself to stay here, Beth. Bein’ in this place, you _know_ it’s bad for you. For all of us!”

“But Judy-” 

“Judy is safest with her family. With Rick and Carl and _you_ , keeping her safe. Wherever we stay.” 

“Exactly!” Beth’s voice took on a pleading tone as she tried to make him see the worries in her mind. “And she’d be even safer with us here, Daryl. There’s food for her, and clothes, and other kids for her to grow up with, and I could take care of her...” 

“But you ain’t gonna take care of yourself?” Daryl was pacing back and forth now, and Beth had a flash of memory of that night at the shack, both of them drunk on moonshine and him pacing almost just like this. His voice got louder as he questioned, “How is that gonna help Judith, Beth? You trying to live in a place that makes you panic every time you step outside?”

Guilt swamped her and without thinking the words spilled from her lips, “Daryl I’m sorry-”

“No. Don’t you dare. It ain’t your _fault_ , Beth.” She saw the pain in his eyes as he raked his fingers through his hair and stopped to look her over. “If it’s anyone’s fault, it’s _mine_. I could see this place getting to you but I couldn’t help you, I couldn’t find a way to stop it. I should have been there, should have been with you when you needed me.” 

“Now _you_ stop it. Right now, Daryl Dixon.” Her guilt was forgotten in the face of his. Heat flashed in her blue eyes as she stared him down, stepping close until they were inches apart. Her hands clenched into fists at her side as she went on heatedly, “None of this is your fault. You need to stop blaming yourself, no matter how upset you are, no matter how _afraid_ you are.” 

(The echoes of old words flashed through her mind from a time when they’d been standing almost just like this: _I ain’t afraid of nothing._ ) 

Seeing the disagreement rising to his lips just as it had then, Beth lifted her hand and pressed her finger to his mouth with a shake of her head. “No. Daryl, you don’t get to treat _yourself_ like crap just because you’re afraid, either.” She saw the understanding in his eyes and knew he was remembering that same conversation, that same night when she’d undone the messy stitching in his chest and opened him up, pulling out the thoughts and fears he’d hidden away and holding them up to the light. (And later, helped him to burn them all away, piece by rotten piece.) 

“This is not on you,” she said softly, lowering her hand so her fingers could curl into his shirt instead. “You gotta stop blaming yourself, Daryl. We _both_ do.” She gave him a faint smile. “The self-blamer and the self-sacrificer, hm?”

With a low chuckle that rumbled through his chest, Daryl murmured, “What a pair.” 

“Mm, ain’t that right.” Beth sighed and closed the little gap between them. Her body pressed softly against his chest as she felt his hands come around to span her hips and then the small of her back. “But that’s just another reason we’re good,” Beth murmured, tipping her head back so her nose brushed beneath the hard line of his jaw. “You stop me from sacrificing too much of myself, and I stop you from blaming yourself for things you can’t help.” She smiled and pressed a kiss to the soft, faintly-stubbled skin beneath his chin. “We make each other stronger.” 

He nodded, and she could feel some of the tension ease from his body as he replied, “Together.” When she nodded against him, he murmured, “That’s true of all of us, ain’t it?” 

Beth considered his words for a moment, and gave a slow nod. “I think we are, as a family. We’re stronger together cause of everything we’ve been through, and how we’ve grown to know each other. They’re the people I trust most, beyond you.” 

They stood there in quiet for a long moment just holding each other close as Beth faintly nuzzled into his neck and breathed him in deep, letting the familiar scent of him calm away her lingering tension. 

“Beth, be honest with me.”

“Always,” she said without hesitation.

His hands stilled on her back and his voice was almost a murmur as he asked, “Do you think this place is really safe? For you, for us... for our family?” 

She took a long moment to answer. Her eyes fluttered shut as she leaned into the crook of his neck and let herself _really_ think about it. About more than just food and clothes and roofs over their heads; about the peacekeepers and the cops at Grady, about people in power, about what she’d heard of Terminus and what she remembered of the Governor. About her Daddy, the smile on his lips right before he died, all the things he’d said to her about family and safety. 

“No.” Her eyes stayed pressed tightly shut as she sighed in his arms. “I wish I did, though. I really, _really_ wish I did. Because we need a place, Daryl. We _deserve_ a place. We can’t just keep running forever.” 

“I know.” He rested his chin on top of her head and pulled her closer until she was tucked right up against him and his arms were wrapped around her slender waist. “But I don’t think this place is it, Beth. No matter how much we wish it was. We ain’t never gonna feel safe here, no matter how much we wish we could.” 

Beth’s hands slid up his back as she breathed out in a sigh. “I wish we could find a place where we could.” 

As he tipped his head down and pressed a kiss to her forehead, she heard him murmur softly, “Me too.” 

*** 

The next morning, their conversation lingered in Beth’s mind. Side-by-side they made their way back downstairs to where the group was meeting. This time they were gathered around in the kitchen table, eating a breakfast that Beth couldn’t help noticing was much better than what they usually had on the road. 

Her and Daryl stood in the doorway again, sharing a bowl of sliced apples from the few trees the community had. Their fingers brushed occasionally as they dipped into the bowl, and though Beth smiled (especially when she remembered the way his fingers had felt on her skin last night when they were in bed together), she couldn’t stop thinking about everything on her mind; their decision, this place, the future. 

“Now before we make a vote-” Rick’s voice cut through the murmured conversations as he stood up from his seat at the table. “Does anyone have anything else they’d like to add?” 

There was a moment of hesitation through the group, and then Beth spoke up softly, “I do.” There was only a second of pause, and Daryl added beside her, “Me too.” 

She looked at him and their eyes held for just a moment; reassurance and understanding flashing between them as it always did. She knew they were on the same page for this, now. So she knew she had his support when she said, “I think that this vote, this decision we have to make... It’s a chance. A chance to do something big. To find something to fight for and not just... settle with.” 

Beside her, Daryl nodded. “We know you’re all tired of runnin’. We are, too. But it feels like we’ve just always been runnin’ _away_ from shit and just... settlin’ wherever we end up.” 

“Exactly.” Beth’s arm pressed against his as she looked out over her family. “Maybe this is a chance for us to run towards something, finally. Something that’s _ours_ , something we find and build ourselves and make our own instead of just stumbling into and making do, like we did at the prison, or everywhere we ended up after.”

“Leavin’ this place might be a risk,” Daryl chimed in again, his voice gruff but his words coming clear as he spoke his mind in a way he hadn’t always done when it came to the group. “But stayin’ here is a risk, too. An’ if we go out there, maybe...” 

Beth reached down and took his hand again. “Maybe we could make something _good_. Together.”

There were just two seconds of silence, and then to her surprise she heard Maggie speak up. “Daddy said something to me, once.” She looked at Rick as she ran her fingers through her short dark hair. “He said it to you too, Rick, back at the prison when everyone was getting sick and he just insisted on helping. He told us how every time we step outside, we’re risking our lives. But we have the chance to choose _what_ we’re risking it for. So the question is...” She looked around and her gaze settled on Beth’s for a moment as matching smiles crossed both of their lips. “Do we want to risk our lives for this place? Or do we want to risk them for someplace that could be better?” 

Rick’s gaze stayed steady on Maggie for a long moment before drifting to Daryl and to Beth as he gave a slow nod. “So I guess that’s what we’re voting on, then. What do we want to risk our lives for, as a family, together?” He hesitated a few seconds longer and then stood up straight with another decisive nod. “Okay then. Here we go.” His gaze took in the entire room person by person before he said: “All in favor of leaving and striking out on our own again to try and make a home of our own, raise your hand.” 

Out of the corner of her eye, Beth saw Daryl lift his arm, and just a second later her own followed suit.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I GUESS I KINDA ENDED ON ANOTHER CLIFFHANGER. Whoops! But I hope you all liked it, still. The next chapter will be the LAST CHAPTER of She's Breathing, but it (along with this chapter, too) will set up the sequel that I am already planning. I really hope you liked this one as much as I did, I had a sort of "full circle" feeling going on that I was really proud of, with Beth and Daryl especially.


	30. Still Breathing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Daryl and Beth look ahead to the future.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Firstly I just want to apologize for the delay in getting this chapter up. This week at work has been incredibly busy for me and I've been drained every night. I haven't been able to write at all, and the last thing I wanted was to give you all a sub-par final chapter. 
> 
> Tonight I finally managed to write something I'm happy with, however, so here it is. The final chapter of She's Breathing. I hope you all enjoy it.

His fingers curled around the cool metal of the door handle and jiggled it faintly to make sure it was shut tight as he peered through the back window and spotted the familiar silhouette of Michonne on the back porch. Once he was satisfied that the back exits were secure, Daryl turned away from the door. Nodding to Tyreese and Sasha where they sat talking softly together at the table, he made his way through the kitchen, heading through the doorway and into the living room. With another nod, he moved past Maggie and Glenn where they were curled up on the couch together, talking quietly to Tara, Rosita, on the other couch and Eugene who was perched awkwardly on the edge of the chair.

His rounds continued as he made his way to the living room windows and peered out through the glass to Carol, standing alone out on the porch. After ensuring that each of the windows was closed and locked, Daryl finally headed to the steps that lead to the second floor and made his way carefully upstairs. Aside from the creaking of the wooden steps, and the rustling noises of people settling in, everything was quiet. Daryl heard no groans of walkers, but even better, no chattering of unfamiliar voices. It was just them and their family, the way he personally thought it should be.

As he reached the top of the stairs he could hear Rick and Carl taking softly in the small room they were sharing with Judith, and beneath him he could still faintly hear the conversation from the small group in the living room. His real focus though was on the long door at the end of the hall that lead to a tiny room more like a closet than a room. It was the one he and Beth had managed to claim though, and with the small mattress in the corner it was more than enough for them.

When he opened up the door and stepped inside, Beth was sitting cross-legged on their mattress shining her knife with a spare rag. Her blond hair was loose for the night and spilling around her shoulders, so light and bright against the dark green of her shirt. The moment he came inside she looked up at him, giving him a slow pleased smile as she shifted to slowly sheath her knife at her waist as she asked, “All clear?”

Daryl nodded and shut the door carefully behind him. “Carol’s got front watch and Michonne is out back. You and me are up in about four hours for the front.”

“Together?”

“Of course.” He hesitated a moment and instead of walking towards her he took a few steps instead towards the right side of the room, where his bag was resting on a small end table. “Place should be good for the night, then tomorrow we can get moving again.” Daryl slipped his hand into his bag and rummaged around for a bit before coming up with what he was looking for. “Got something for you.” 

He held it behind his back as he crossed over to the mattress and then crouched down on his haunches to offer it up to her. It was a heavy book about the size of the now-well-worn one he carried around for himself. This one had a beige and green cover, and the large title written across the front read: The PTSD Workbook: _Simple, Effective Techniques for Overcoming Traumatic Stress Symptoms_. 

With a soft clearing of his throat, he settled the book in front of Beth and watched as she ran her fingers lightly over the cover and then looked up at him in confusion and surprise. “Daryl... Where did you get this?” 

A faint smile tugged at his lips for just a second. “Found it in the health clinic, back at Richmond, before we left.” 

Her eyebrow raised. “They gave this to you?”

“No.” He couldn’t help it, he smiled again, this time with a hint of playful pride. “I _borrowed_ it.” 

“Daryl!” Beth reached out to push his shoulder with the flat of her hand, but she was grinning as she did it. “You’re _awful_. They gave us supplies and everything and you stole from them?”

Since he knew she wasn’t actually scolding him, Daryl just snorted with amusement as he rested his arms on his knees so his hands dangled between his legs. “They were a bunch of idiots. Besides, you needed this more’n any of them, all stuck up in there like happy little sittin’ ducks.” 

She pursed her lips at him, but he knew she agreed about the people of Richmond being idiots. Luckily, so had most of their group in the end. There had been a few moments leading up to that vote when he’d been half-sure that the majority of their family would vote to stay in Richmond and he would have to figure out what to do to keep Beth safe. 

He would have done whatever he had to, that was for sure. Even as they’d brought it to a vote he had been turning over plans in his mind; how to convince the people here to make things safer, what places in their house he could hide weapons for them, if there was any way possible he could convince Beth to just leave with him. Hell, he’d have fought every damn asshole peacekeeper in that town to keep her safe, if he’d had to. 

In the end the vote had been almost unanimous. The only hand not up had been Noah’s, and he knew the boy had only kept his hand down because he hadn’t wanted to leave his mother here alone again. Rick had seemed slowest to raise his hand, but once he saw everyone in the group do so, including Carl, his own hand had moved to join them with a slow nod. So it had been decided that they’d leave Richmond and strike out on their own again to find a safer place to make their own.

The following day had been spent telling James their decision, and preparing to leave... and of course, convincing Noah's mother to come with them and her son, rather than stay here. That had perhaps been just as hard telling James their decision and dealing with the reaction of community after. Though there had been tension throughout the community, especially with the peacekeepers, James had insisted on not sending them out with no supplies at all. It had been on his trip with Beth to the health clinic to pick up a small cache of medical supplies the community was willing to spare that he’d seen the book slotted among the collection they’d gathered on the shelves inside. Stealing it had been a no-brainer, when it came down to it. It was for Beth, and that was what mattered. He’d meant it when he said she needed it more than them.

Now that they’d gotten a good distance away from Richmond and settled at an abandoned house for the night, it had seemed as good a time as any to show her his discovery. Especially now, at night when it was just the two of them alone. When it was their time.

“So...” Beth traced the shape of the book title with her fingers as she looked up at him where he was still crouched down beside her. “So you took this, for me?” 

“Well... yeah.” Daryl reached out and absentmindedly tucked a stray strand of blonde hair behind Beth’s ear. “Saw it there and figured... I mean, I just thought that since you’re helpin’ me with my stuff, and y’ know, readin’ my book with me...” 

She reached out for him unexpectedly, cutting off his unsure rambling by tugging him forward until he turned and sat down on the mattress next to her. Daryl lifted his arm instinctively just in time for Beth to tuck herself easily against his side. It never failed to amaze him how perfectly she fit with him, ever since that first time back at the prison with her arms sliding around his waist. Then it had been something he’d noticed in confusion and shoved quickly away; now it was something he relished, something he couldn’t seem to get enough of; at least when it was just the two of them. 

Beth looked up at him with those big blue eyes and murmured, “You thought you’d find a way to help me, too?”

“Yeah.” His hand rubbed lightly over the side of her arm. “Somethin’ like that.” 

“Daryl...” That soft smile on her lips was one he already knew well, especially with that warm look in her eyes. It was the smile that told him just how much she cared, just how much she felt for him. “You know you already help me, right? Every day. Just by believing in me, and... and being there for me.” 

His brow furrowed faintly, but after a moment he gave a slow nod. He knew what she meant, because she did the same for him. Those weeks they’d been apart when he’d thought he’d lost her, he had never felt so wrong in his life. It had been like missing something he’d never known was a part of him until it was ripped away, and he’d had no way of coping. Until she came back into his life and he realized that just her presence was enough to begin to seal up the cracks.

It wasn’t that Beth healed him just by being there. It was that she gave him the support he needed, and helped him feel strong enough to heal _himself_. Or start to, anyway. It was a slow process, but he was working on it, with her help. If what she was saying was that he was that for her too, well, he couldn’t help but understand that. But he also knew that he wasn’t all she needed. 

Daryl reached down and picked up the book to gently set it in her lap as he said, “I know. But this... This is important, too. Cause I can only help you so much, on my own. But this...” He tapped the book and looked up at her until she met his eyes. “I can help you a _lot_ more with this. An’ you can help yourself.” He paused a moment, and then added, “If you want...” 

Because really, _her_ wanting to try was what was really important; he knew that from his own experience. With him, she had been the spark that had him believing it was _worth_ trying, but _he_ had been the one to find that book and take it and ask her to help him work through it. He’d found the book for her now, but he wouldn’t make her read it or even keep it. That decision was hers.

Beth seemed to understand that, and she was already smiling at him softly and shyly as she replied, “Of course I do.” He’d had no real doubts that she’d say that. She was strong; the strongest woman he’d ever met. She was a warrior, hidden underneath sunshine and sweet smiles. She was strong enough to face down anything, including her own inner demons.

She thumbed the corner of the book and he watched as she darted another glance up at him and asked, “You gonna help me?” 

He chuckled. “Well you know I ain’t so good at understandin’ some of the medical mumbo jumbo, but-” His hand came up again, thumb grazing her cheek as he turned her head towards him. “Course I’ll help you. That’s what we do, you an’ me.” 

She turned her head and he felt her lips press right to the center of his palm. Her lips lingered there for a moment until he felt her breath ghost across his skin in a sigh. “It is, isn’t it? Not just helping each other but just...” She smiled unexpectedly and it was like a ray of sun crossing her face, brightening the whole room. “Being partners.”

He shifted his hand to let his fingers brush up the line of her jaw as he nodded. “Dixon and Greene,” he murmured, the words familiar and yet somehow no less meaningful to him even after all this time. For a moment Daryl went quiet, his brow furrowed as he looked down at her and thought of the road they had ahead of them. Despite feeling better now that they were out of that community, he knew they were far from safe yet. In some ways they were right back where they’d started; on the road, running. At least now, though, they were running _towards_ something. At least now she was right there running beside him.

None of them knew what would happen in the days and weeks to come. They had a vague plan to head back south, to find someplace to make a home, but who knew what they’d run into on the way there? Though there was a part of his mind that worried over what they might face, it was surprisingly hard to be too worried when he looked at Beth, sitting beside him. There had been a time when everything had been so dark and bleak, and he’d just felt like he was existing somehow day to day, surviving without really knowing why.

She’d been the light in the dark, that first glimpse of hope that had slowly spread to him as well, even without him noticing at first. Her words had lingered in his mind even when he’d thought he’d lost her, _not just another dead girl_ and _have a little faith_ and _we should burn it down_ and _oh_ , all spiraling around in his thoughts and pushing him forward, not letting him give up until he’d found her again. 

That night on the porch all drunk on moonshine she’d told him _you can’t depend on anybody for anything_ , but she’d been wrong. You _could_ depend on the people you loved, if you believed in them enough. He believed in her, like that.

“Whatever happens...” He hesitated a moment, searching for the right words as Beth said patiently beside him. It wasn’t until he felt her fingers grazed over his and lacing their hands together that he finished, “It’ll work out. We’ll figure it out.” 

That smile on her lips only widened as she curled her fingers tighter in his and gently squeezed. “Look at you, being the hopeful one, Mr. Dixon. You’re not worried about what might happen? That maybe we made a mistake?” 

“Nah.” He tilted his head to press a kiss to her temple and then smiled against her warm, soft skin. “See, there was this angry blonde girl who shouted something at me once, and it kinda stuck in my head.” 

“Oh yeah?” Her eyes were half-closed and he heard her hum as she shifted closer to him. “What was that?” 

“Somethin’ ‘bout how it wouldn’t kill me to have a little faith.” His voice was quiet and low, just for this intimate moment between them, but it was rough as well with the memory. It had been the first time he’d really seen what a _spitfire_ Beth Greene could be, shouting at him in the middle of the woods about having faith. She’d continued to surprise him over and over again every day since and he didn’t think she’d ever stop. 

However old this world let him live to, she’d be right there beside him and probably still surprising him every day.

“Sounds like a smart girl.” Beth gave a little laugh as her fingers drifted lightly over his thigh. 

A smile quirked up the corner of his mouth. The hand that had rested on her shoulder brushed up to her head and his fingers tangled lightly in her hair as he gently guided her into laying her head against him. Once she was close enough, Daryl leaned down and pressed his lips softly to the silken blond strands as he murmured, “Smartest girl I know.” 

He felt her nuzzle faintly against his chest and he marveled again at how comfortable he was having her here with him, having her close. There’d been a time when he’d not been comfortable with even the slightest of touches, let alone anything to do with affection and hugs and _this_ ; what could really only be called cuddling. (Though he hadn’t come far enough to call it that out loud.) 

To have her here curled up at his side was a sign of how far he’d come, and it was only made better by knowing that it was an important thing for her, too. Not for the Beth from the prison, who’d been comfortable hugging anyone that needed an embrace, but for the Beth that had been born from the events of the hospital, the same girl who flinched sometimes still when people got too close or touched her for too long. Both of them had their trauma, their fear, and yet here they were, curled up together, neither of them with any desire to flinch or pull away.

As he pressed his lips to her head once more, Daryl heard Beth murmur, “So was she right? That _smart girl_ of yours, was she right about having faith?” 

“Mm.” He rested his nose against her head and smiled faintly. “I reckon she was. S’what we gotta do, right? Goin’ forward. Just gotta take a chance and have faith.”

“You know what I think?” Beth tipped her head back to look up at him and for a moment he got lost in the blue of her eyes until he blinked and managed to focus again on her words. “I think that girl from back then, she’d be so proud if she could see you now.” A smile curved across her lips again.

“Yeah?” 

“Yeah.” Beth leaned towards him until her lips brushed his, and in the exhale of breath that ghosted across his mouth, she whispered, “I know I am.”

After that it was really no wonder that he ended up pulling her into his lap where she could curl sideways against him. She fit right up against his chest and her fingers curled into his hair as they kissed all soft and sweet and slow until she wasn’t the only one getting a bit flushed. His hands spanned her hip and back as he held her close and dipped his tongue carefully into her mouth until he had the taste of her on his tongue again. Better than anything he’d ever tasted in his life, and he could never get enough.

They could have easily taken it in a different, more heated direction, but they didn’t. Instead as they caught their breaths he shifted her gently until she was sitting in front of him with her back against his chest and his legs stretched out to frame hers. “How about we give this a try?” He picked up the book carefully and settled it in her lap even as his lips grazed lightly over her neck. 

“Mmm… hard to say no when you’re kissing me like that.” She tipped her head back so he could brush his lips across the delicate curve of her neck, but after a moment he stopped to look down at her more seriously, eyebrows raised in question until she nodded. “I’d like that, for a little bit.” 

So they settled the book in her lap and turned the pages together, just as they had for him so many nights now. They worked over the words, reading together quietly and out loud. His arms stayed wrapped tightly around her, always ready to hold her closer if she needed it. There had been so many times that just having her close had anchored him when they’d been working over his book, and it had gotten to be too much. She’d always seemed to sense it somehow and just know that he needed her to turn a bit in his arms and hold him or kiss him, or just talk him through it. He wanted to be that for her, too. Believing he _could_ be that for her was new to the extent that it was almost fragile, but what they’d gone through so far had taught him that when it came to her, he could do just about anything, even if it was just being an anchor or a safe point for her.

“You have a choice: you can turn around, going back to the world of trauma, or you can go on.” Beth’s voice was soft in the quiet room, and Daryl found himself gently grazing his fingers up and down her arm as she read aloud, “Your trip may take time. You may be exhausted when you get to the other side. You may sweat and smell and feel as if you can never take another step. But you can go on.” 

Her voice trailed off as she rested her hand flat on the book and turned her head slightly to look at him over her shoulder. “Sounds like us all the time. Not just working through things like this, but… in life. You and me, and our family.” 

“We do smell a lot.” He made the little joke without thinking, and though she chuckled, after a moment he added more seriously, “You think that’s what we chose to do? Go on?” 

Beth was quiet for a long moment and he just watched over her shoulder as she traced shapes on the pages of the book. “Yeah,” she said finally, giving him a faint little smile. “I think that’s what we did. I think we decided to go on, to keep walking and find our way to something better.” 

His lips had found their way to the crook of her neck again; it was just hard to resist the softness of her skin or the way she hummed and shifted back against him. “Do you think we’ll find something better?” 

Daryl at the very least _hoped_ they would. That was change enough for him, having the ability to hope when he’d never been able to before. But Beth, she wasn’t just a hopeful person. She was a _believer_ , she always had been. She’d been the one to believe they’d find their family again, to believe it so strongly that she’d pushed _him_ into believing it, reluctant as he was. 

Sure enough, he heard her murmur in reply, “I think we will. I think we’ll be… good.” 

The moment she spoke he could see it again; the way she’d looked that night sitting at the piano, surprise lighting up her blue eyes when he’d asked her to sing. He remembered the sound of her voice filtering through the air and the way he’d just watched her, mesmerized and unable to look away as he felt something new and entirely unfamiliar taking up further residence within his chest. He would have been happy listening to her sing all night long, then, and he still would be now. 

“Sing for me again?” His voice was almost a whisper, gruff against her ear as his lips grazed her skin. 

“Still no jukebox?” He couldn’t see her from this angle, but he knew she was smiling. 

“Don’t need one when I’ve got you.” He pressed a kiss to her cheek and murmured against her warm skin, “Jukebox couldn’t hold a candle.” 

When she looked up at him her eyes were shining so damn brightly, reflecting her words as she whispered back, "I love you too, Daryl Dixon." She took a long moment just to smile at him and then finally turned forward to settle again with her back to his chest. Her voice, when it finally came, was soft and sweet in the silence. “ _I think that possibly maybe I’m fallin’ for you._ ” Her hands brushed over his legs, fingers tracing shapes (he was pretty sure one or two of them were hearts) over his jeans as she sang, “ _Yes there’s a chance that I’ve fallen quite hard over you. I’ve seen the paths that your eyes wander down, I wanna come too. I think that possibly maybe I’m fallin’ for you. No one understand me quite like you do, throughout all the shadowy corners of me…_

***

Later, after she had fallen asleep in his arms, Daryl found himself still awake. It wasn’t unusual for him to find himself like this even when she’d fallen asleep. Part of it was that he just didn’t need as much sleep as everyone else seemed to, but this was also the time at night when all his thoughts seemed loudest and he was alone to focus on them.

He had a lot to think about, as always. Plans for where to go next flashed through his mind, and he knew tomorrow they’d take the forefront as he worked with Rick and the others to set something down more concretely. There was so much to consider; destinations, routes, supplies, survival.

But it was the weight of Beth curled in his arms that pulled at the majority his thoughts and coaxed up so many pleasant memories.

Daryl recalled the weight of her on his back, and the first time he’d carried her in his arms. He remembered the first press of his lips to hers back in that over-run town in the post-master’s office. He remembered standing behind her in the bedroom of that cottage and running his lips over her neck until she’d given him a sweet little sigh. He remembered the first time they’d had sex- _made love_ was what she’d have said- and how he had never thought he’d ever be capable of feeling as close to anyone as he had to Beth in that moment. 

One memory kept drawing his mind. It was the weight of her against his chest right now that reminded him of it, how she’d been so heavy and limp as he’d carried her down the hallway of that hospital with her blood smeared across her face and dripping down his arm.. It was a far less pleasant memory than the others, and yet… without it, he might not have her. Without that memory, she would have been _gone_ , and he’d never have had anything that had followed. 

He might have lost her. He almost had. The thought made his stomach clench and at the same time, it only fueled that tiny fire of hope within him. 

Because he hadn’t lost her. She was here with him in his arms, safe and asleep. She was his partner, his girl. She loved him; words she whispered to him whenever she could until he realized that they were getting easier to accept, that it took longer and longer for that little voice in his head to deny them each time.

That moment of panic, that intense fear that he might lose her, it had in it’s own way been the fuel that had gotten them here. In the moment when he’d shouted out that she was breathing, that little spark had flared inside of him again and it had only grown with each day since. 

_Hope_.

She wasn’t the only one who had it now. He might not be as sure of it as she was, but he could feel it burning gently away inside of him. Hope for the two of them, hope for the future, hope that they’d made the right decision and they would find someplace good, someplace that could be _theirs_. Someplace where they could be safe again. Someplace that could be _home_. 

Looking down at her right now in his arms, he could almost wonder if it was a dream. If it was all just too good to be true. Her here in his arms, _alive_ , and loving _him_ of all the people left in this world, while he sat there and actually had hope for the future. How had it come to this? How had he become the one so full of hope, the same way she had always been? 

Maybe he had dreamed all of this, from that moment in the hospital when he’d fallen to the ground and cradled her to his chest and felt her breathing. Maybe it _was_ to good to be true for a man like him to have a life like this, to have someone who loved him and made him believe that there were things worth hoping for.

But then Beth shifted faintly in his arms and drew his attention back to her, and he smiled as he leaned down to press a soft kiss to her cheek. Her head turned instinctively towards him, and in her sleep her lips parted so that her next exhale of breath ghosted right across his cheek just like it had that day on the floor of the hospital hallway when he’d called out hoarsely: _She’s breathing_!

In that moment Daryl just smiled, because of course it was real. She was here in his arms, alive, and perfect.

And she was still breathing. _They_ were still breathing, together, no matter what came next.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And so this is it! Well, this is it for She's Breathing, anyway. The sequel to this story will be called "Still Breathing", and it will follow the group now on their journey to find a place of their own! (As you can hopefully tell from the set-up of these last few chapters!) I am hoping to have the new story up soon, possibly by this weekend although that depends on how draining these next couple days are. Either way, I will at least try to have a one-shot from this collection up! You can subscribe to me here to get notified, or subscribe to the "She's Breathing" collection. (If you don't have an account here but DO have a FF.net account, I post there as burnedupasun.) I will also be continuing to write "Chasing Cars" (my "he caught the black car" AU), adding chapters to my smutty prison fic, "The Fourth Night", and hopefully doing some other things, including a non-zombie AU. 
> 
> With the sequel in mind, I'd love to know what you guys might like to see! I won't promise to include everything obviously, since I have a plan for the story. However, feel free to suggest characters you'd like to see them interact with (either as a couple or individually), or things you might like to see them address, or things you'd like to see them do (Just don't suggest too much relationship drama, please, that isn't this story's jam!) 
> 
> Finally I would just like to thank all of you for being such faithful readers of this story and leaving so many lovely comments and making me feel so loved. I'll be honest, a part of me almost doesn't want to post this because I don't want this story to end, even though I know it has to. I hope you'll all continue to read the sequel, and any other stories that follow. Thank you all so much again, I love you all! <3 (Psst also, come find me on tumblr as burningupasun, I may do some fic-prompt writing this weekend!)


	31. Author's Note

This is just a note that I have officially posted the first chapter of [Still Breathing](http://archiveofourown.org/works/3201938/chapters/6963257), the sequel to this fic, She’s Breathing, for those of you who are subscribed to the fic, but not me. I would be so pleased if you went and checked it out. I hope you enjoy and thanks again for being such faithful readers of this fic. I adore you all so much!!


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